D&D is For Nerds - Jarren's Outpost #18 Run, Grapple, Jump

Episode Date: August 29, 2017

In which our heroes rush madly to the Surefoot warehouse.Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our Melb Fringe Shows or UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadHandsome Tom: twitter.com/AwkwardTreedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, one time in a meditation class I was told to count backwards from 10 and just repeat that over and over again but I kept going too far and got further back and then panicked so I just kept going and then felt guilty that I couldn't count backwards from 10 properly and I didn't feel very meditated and I've never meditated since. Hey everyone, Sands Pants Radio is part of Melbourne Fringe this year and along with some of our other shows, we're going to be doing a live D&D is for Nerds for one night only before we chuff on off to the UK. Just head on over to melbournefringe.com.au to grab your tickets. D&D is on the 23rd of September, and check out sanspantsradio.com slash live for the dates and times of our other shows. Now, enjoy the show. for the dates and times of our other shows.

Now, enjoy the show. Welcome to chapter 18 of Jan's Outpost Hustle, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Ante. Yeah, he's dead. Sweet. You obscure him like right through the, between the eyes. Okay, I'd like to take him, excuse me,

he's a rogue of some variety. A blood red robe, yeah. Sweet, I'd like to grab that. You're standing here for a little while, you notice like on the door there's like black icor, like the, you know, old blood. I cut my finger, bleed onto it. Good job. The door opens. Within the jar is this

white wisp. You feel a weird affinity with the white wisp. Oh no! Father Moroni grabs it and he says, you spoke with piss, did you? I'd like to blink for that exit and be like, Catch me if you can.

You're out before they can react. I'm going to try and run. I've got no clue where I... I'm a little sad. I was going to take your skin. Yeah, well, I'm glad you didn't. You hit the clothes shop, the surefoots run. I'll hit the jewelry store. Or do you want to stick together?

Stick together. I kind of just flash back to me lying dead in a hallway. How do you want to stick together? Stick together. I kind of just like flashback to me lying dead in a hallway. How do you get flashbacked? Or getting flashback to getting wounded by an arrow and then blacking out. Yeah, no, let's stick together.

Flipchart punches you sometimes. Donkey punching, Leo. Is that the one where it's in the back of the head? Yeah, donkey punching. Your sex is weird. You're both little, so it's strange.

And out of the sewer grate climbs your good friend Greg Pierce While being chased through the gnomish lanes You turn invisible And I'd like to then try and climb onto a roof somewhere He's invisible we can still like see movement Wait a second I'm going to use that spell of seeing thing

That scroll The true seeing Damn You can see Greg Pierce Fucking there's that piece of shit of seeing thing. That scroll. The true seeing. Damn. You can see Greg Pierce. Fucking there's that piece of shit. Greg Pierce is on the roof at this point. He's on the roof. I jump up onto the roof.

Alright, hang on. Wait. You guys have sort of slowed down so it's starting to the cacophony is starting to catch up to you. Alright, I'm just going to chuck this into initiative I feel like that's probably the way to go Is there an option for me to throw you at him? There always is There always is

Adam, I don't know if we've done this He always makes us write our weight at the start of each campaign Because he inevitably concludes that one of us is going to throw another one. And so, yeah. The exact quote is one of you motherfuckers is going to try and throw another one of you motherfuckers. I want to throw one of you motherfuckers into another motherfucker. You throw me, I throw my daggers, get him good.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Are you on the roof? No, I was going to climb the roof, and then he said I'm going to roll for on the roof? I was going to climb the roof and then he said I'm going to roll for initiative, so I'm not going to climb the roof. Okay. We'll see. We'll see what occurs. I'll climb the roof. I can't see him.

Yeah, that's true. How does that spell work? Which spell? Trueside only you can see. He's on the roof. Great. Mons, you can see. He's on the roof. Great. Mons, you're Pierce. You are first.

Fuck. You are bullshit. Well, you're up on the roof. You can see all around you, the buildings. Some are higher, some are lower, but most are about the same height. Did I hear over here Leo saying he's on the roof? Do I know I've been ousted? over here Leo saying he's on the roof do I know I've been ousted?

over the commotion there's a full like a riot going on between the cultists and the gnomes and me roaring I just keep running a dull roaring sound I might try and get to higher ground

so if there are any higher buildings around you leap to a nearby building fail to find purchase on the opposite building and higher building ground. You leap to a nearby building. Oh, wow. Fail to find purchase on the opposite building and slowly just slide scrambling down the side of the building. You take no damage, but you're on the floor.

Okay. I don't have a chance once I'm sliding down to just smash through like a window or whatever. Into somebody's bedroom? No, you don't. That's fair. Sick. There's a warehouse now in between you and the others.

Yep. Leo, you saw him, like, you lost sight of him because there was a warehouse in between you two. And you don't know that he's fallen. You just know that you last saw him on top of this warehouse. All right, so he's going that way. So I go around the warehouse. Sorry, it's Periwinkle's turn. I'm just saying, Leo, what you saw.

He's going that way. You're telling me he's going that way? Well, I'm going to run after him. Climb up on the roof? Well, no, because we don't know if he's sitting on the ground. Yeah, you don't know if he's on the ground. You last saw him on the roof. Yeah, you know what would be really fun? Climb up on the roof and jump on him.

Can I do that? Yep, you're up on the roof. Yeah, you know what would be really fun? Climb on the roof, jump on him. Can I do that? Yep, you're up on the roof. With two powerful hoists, you've pretty much thrown yourself onto the roof. I should have thrown you up with me. Should have. You have a quick look around. You can't see him anywhere, but that's not unusual. He is invisible.

Yeah, no, true. Oh, no, I can't. Fuck it. Fuck, I should have thrown Leo up there. It's all right. I'm not very intelligent, so... That's fine. You were in the middle of the battle.

Just as I've done this, I just want to take a precaution. I'm going to take the loot out. I'm just going to rip all the strings off. So now it's just a club. So even if I lose the loot and you get it back, you can't do any of your bard shit. I put the loot back. Yeah, you do it.

All right. Clever. Fuck. How long will it take me to climb? it back, you can't do any of your bard shit. I put the loot back. Yeah, you do it. Alright, clever. How long will it take me to climb? Can I climb up the roof? You can climb up, yeah. You're not as good a climber as Periwinkle, but you could certainly maybe get up this fast. We had this whole conversation about throwing people and then I didn't do it. It makes you feel any better, you just couldn't have.

Yeah, alright. If I know I can climb, yeah, I'll climb. All right. Yeah, you're up with Parawinkle. Yep. You spot the top of Greg Piss's head in the street. Dickhead fell. The mob begins to slowly surround this building. They wash up.

The mob begins to slowly surround this building. They wash up, like the riot and combat washes up against the part of the building that you guys climbed up and is slowly like a river wrapping around the building. We're safe, you're not. Can I see either of these two buglers? No. Okay.

I'm going to try and get inside somewhere Is there anywhere that I could run to Like smash through a window or get into someone's house Or off the streets You're in between two warehouses Highs or lows? Highs There's a door on this side

Of the warehouse that you could get into Into this double story warehouse You could smash a couple windows as well, but that might cause you some difficulty. Yeah, rightio. Fuck it, I'll go through the door. All right. The door is, highs or lows?

Highs. Highs? Locked. Damn. You could try kicking it down. It looks kind of flimsy. I'll give it a go. Why not?

With a solid crunching sound, you kick the door and it breaks off its hinges. Sweet. Inside is a, well, it's a warehouse. It's a lot of boxes and there's a catwalk going above them all. There's no light here as well. This isn't the warehouse, is it? No, this is just a warehouse.

You guys are like a block away from where the Surefoots have their stash. Can I hide in the boxes and ready in action? How does that work? Do you want to hide in a box or among the boxes? Among the boxes. All right. So you'd have to wait for your next turn. You can get into the warehouse, but to hide is a standard action

because you've got to find a place. You've got to maybe move some shit around you, that sort of stuff. Are there any windows on the other side? Yeah, there's windows all around. I'm going to head to the other side. All right, you just start charging through the warehouse. Cool. Periwinkle, it's your turn.

You see... Oh, no, you don't see, but Leo points him out. Yeah, that he's ran into the building. Actually, you see the door break open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've seen him. All right, so here's the thing. He's trapped in the warehouse, surrounded by people that probably want to kill him.

And we're on a rooftop. Can we see the warehouse we're going for? Yeah. Do we know the warehouse? Oh, do you know what it is? Like, do we know where the warehouse would be at the shore foots? Oh, yeah. You have a rough idea.

Yeah. Also, do we have the C-team with us? I think the C-team are with us. I'm assuming they're... They're kind of in among the mob. All right. They might be able to make it to you guys if you call out where you're going, but if you call out where you're going, the mob is going to know.

What if I call out to the guys and tell them to get Greg Piss? You see, Greg Piss is in that building. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. He's invisible. He's in that building. Watch for, like, broken shit. How long does invisibility last on this gun? You don't know.

I don't know. I know he's invisible, but that's it. Do I know? Do I know? I'll ask next turn. I think what I'd like to do is I think we should just... As I said to you in this really good plan I wrote down, fuck great piss, let's go for the weapon.

Good idea. Because you're in trouble. No getting out of this one. Well, we put you in this really good plan I wrote down. Fuck great piss, let's go for the weapon. Good idea. Because you're in trouble. No getting out of this one. Well, we put you in a vault and you were basically dead, so... He's resourceful. He's a slippery eagle. So we know where we're going to the warehouse.

And can we conceivably get there via rooftop so we don't have to get back down where the fray is? Yeah, it'd probably be a little bit easier. You might have to take an down where the fray is. Yeah. It'd probably be a little bit easier. You might have to take an odd path, though, because not all the time will you be able to take a direct route from rooftop. Let's do that.

I've got a grappling hook. We're going to make a beeline for the warehouse. And as we run away, we just call out to the fray, Greg Pierce is in the warehouse. He's invisible. Periwinkle, you leap from one warehouse To the one that Pierce is on I should have grabbed him as I did that Can I carry him while I'm doing this?

Pretty strong He's pretty heavy Can I throw him ahead of me? You're less likely to be able to throw him I'm alright at climbing Alright then, I was just going to save time I'm a dexterous little guy. You're just as slippery as the rest.

Alright, so I'll look after myself. You could carry him but it'd just mean that you'd fail together potentially. So like, you're pretty good at jumping, he's not. You can like median your jumping ability out together by jumping together.

But like, I can also, you know, if we have, like, ropes and stuff. Yeah, we've got the ropes and the ropes, so you can use them. Yeah. All right, I'm just going to jump for my... If you do, like, you can do that, but it makes you a lot slower, because you've got to throw a rope, then you've got to attach it, stuff like that. Yeah, but we'll never...

If somebody falls, that's your plan. And also, like, some I can jump, some I cannot. So, basically, I'll be readying my grappling hook, but if I can jump it, I'll jump it. Do one of them things where you're falling. Like an idiot didn't think it is before I jumped. That's fine. You're both across to the warehouse.

You're on the warehouse that Greg Pierce is in. Right. Pierce, you hear like... Something stomping on the roof. And we keep running. Yeah. Then every window on the south side of this warehouse, the one that was close to where you came in from,

breaks open and people start either climbing or falling in. Are they just randos from the- Gnomes and cultists. How many blinks do I have left? You have one for six rounds. I'll blink onto the catwalk. Or, like, blink out, run up to the catwalk. Or like blink out, run up to the catwalk. Yeah, okay.

Or climb a ladder, whatever's necessary. Yep, sure. Any last blink? Good. But then I can keep blinking for seven rounds. Hmm. It's a go of a blink. Anyway, yep. You're up on the catwalk, blinking around. You're invisible, remember? Yeah. I know, but like I didn't want to have to deal

with them. They can't see you though, right? Yeah, but there's but I didn't want to have to deal with them. They can't see you, though, right? Yeah, but there's like a lot of... Why blink up there? Because, like, what if I have to walk through them? They get attacks of, oh, up on me, ah, I just can't be bothered. Not if you're invisible, they can't see you. Okay, well, in that case, I'll just wander through them up onto the catwalk. Also, you don't need to...

They're still behind you. Oh, right, okay. Well, I'll get up on the catwalk, then. You get up... Gosh. You get up on the catwalk. That was exhausting. You're moving around up on the catwalk. You get up... Gosh. You get up on the catwalk. That was exhausting. You're moving around up on the catwalk.

Cool. Can I get out of any windows from here? I was just like, he's up on the catwalk. They fire at you. Sorry, what was your question? Can I get out of any windows from here? There are windows that extend up here, but it's a bit of a fall. If I blinked down, would I be fine?

It's not really a teleportation, more that you're moving through two planes of existence. Yeah, so I still cop the damage when I fall. You'd just be falling in the spooky ghost world. Imagine it more like Shadowcat than fucking... Nightcrawler? Nightcrawler.

But Shadowcat can walk on air. How do I walk on air? And also send Wolverine back in time. So there's that. That's a bonus. Go back in time to when the orc is holding... Don't be mad, but I get off the catwalk. Okay.

I'd like to exit the warehouse and look for a sewer grate. All right. You are... Well, to exit the warehouse and look for a sewer grate. All right. You are... Well, to exit the other side of the warehouse, it's either a door or jumping through a window. Obviously, it's not as much a fall now that you're not on the catwalk, but you might still take some damage leaping out a window. I'll leap out through a window. That's fine.

I hope you take a lot of fucking damage, boy. Dramatic failure. You missed the window. You just threw yourself into a wall. Bright side, you don't take damage. Oh, that's good. But you're still in the window. You just throw yourself into a wall. Bright side, you don't take damage. Oh, that's good. But you're still in the warehouse. Periwinkle and Leo.

Do I know that invisibility lasts for a certain time? Like, he can probably only be invisible for maybe 10 seconds at a time. All right. I think we pop into existence soon. Cool. We just keep going. Yeah, we keep going towards the gnome. The warehouse.

The Shawford warehouse. Periwinkle, you jump to the next building, but Leo, you do not make the jump. As you're leaping, you immediately are aware that you don't have enough room. And I throw my grappling hook that I readied. He's so angry. I do say that...

That's not how actions work. Alright, you just drop whatever, it's fine. The only thing is I'm having a grappling hook as I'm running and then if I fall, like, shit! Throw the grappling hook. He's pretty good at reflexes. You told me this when I tried to kill all of his kind earlier.

It's not how reflexes work. It's not how any of this works. I deal with all the rules, and I'm telling you. It took us a lot of the game before we got to a point where Adam got frustrated with all of his points. It's been a slow building thing, really. It doesn't matter, though, because the sudden jerking, like, whatever, you get the rope,

but the sudden jerking motion doesn't break your arms, but you have to let go of the rope and you start falling. You try to grab the rope again. Can I try and grab him? You're on the other side. Oh shit, yeah, I'm ages away. I'll just keep scoping.

At least we're clear of the bad guys. So, options. You either just fall or you fall but slow your descent with the rope, potential rope burns. Which would you prefer? How will rope burn affect me later on? Is it going to affect my physique or anything? Both of them will just smart, to be honest.

Rope burns only potential, though. I feel like falling... I think it's the difference between, like, cut skin on your palms and a broken leg. Cut skin on my palms, let's go with that. Alright, so you still impact quite speedily to the ground, but not as speedily as if you hadn't have grabbed the rope. You take six points from the fall, and one point of damage from rope burns, so seven points in total. That's not too bad. I mean, you're weak, but it's fine.

You'll be alright. You're weak, but you'll be fine. you're weak, but, like, it's fine. It's fine. You'll be all right. You're weak, but you'll be fine. You're weak, but tough. Okay. So, Leo, you're on the floor now. Periwinkle, you're still moving from roof to roof. Yep. Absolutely.

You guys glance at each other briefly. What's the plan? Keep going like this? I'm saying, I'll meet you there. All right. I keep going. All right. The mob starts spilling through the warehouse.

P.S. Highs or lows? Highs. Highs? Because no one can see you, the fight is just happening around you. Yeah, that's cool. I feel like it's been longer than 10 seconds. Yeah.

It's only an estimate. Okay. You don't know exactly how long it lasts. True, and I don't even know how long it lasts, so what am I bitching about? Pierce, it's your turn. Can I try and get through a window again? You sure can. I love that? Pierce, it's your turn. Can I try and get through a window again? You sure can. I love that you failed.

That's so good. Windows are just stronger than you thought. I'll try the door. Highs or lows? Highs. It's locked. I'll go through the old door. That's fine.

You go back the way you came. That's fine. Go on the catwalk again. All right, that'll be your next. Yep, that's fair. Periwinkle and Leo. Periwinkle, you jump. You make it to the next building.

Cool. How many warehouse... Am I close? You're two jumps away. All right, good. Sick. Cool, cool. Leo.

Yeah, we're going to keep running. Yep, the mob is getting very close to you. You hear a bunch of gnomes call out, Wait! And I assume ignore them. Yes. Alright. Heyselos? Heys. Three stray attacks get quite close to you.

Why? That's what happens when you run in a riot. Like a magical bolt of energy Whistles past your ear An actual physical bolt From a crossbow Hits the ground in front of you

And an axe Hits a wall next to you But you just keep going Call back rude Any update on our boys, the new team? You can't see them in the mob You're not really looking back, though. No, I'm absolutely not.

You've got a missus to save. I've got blood in my nostrils. Yes. Got some redheads to kill and a wife to save. Hi, Zolos. I'm on a day's work, really. Hi. Hello.

You barrel through the warehouse. Two large boxes are on either side of you. You see a gnome fall off one of the boxes, slam into the ground in front of you. You leap over the gnome. And as you leap over the gnome, whipping her out from around behind the box is Monday with a club in hand. He socks you solidly in the face. My boys! Go Monday.

Take me out to the ball game. You take five points of damage. Monday's good. And you flip end over end. I just want to point out to my notes about the new team. Colin is a good guy. Goggles is a dwarf. Monday, I have no information next to you.

Tuesday is a racist. Monday is a bit of a wild card. Monday is a bit of a wild card. Monday is a bit of a wild card. As you're struggling to your feet, you see Wednesday with a light crossbow lying like a sniper style on top of a bunch of boxes. He fires the light crossbow at you. Sharpshooter that Wednesday. I've heard never misses. Uh-oh.

Oh, good. Crit. As you're getting to your feet, the impact, the solid impact in your upper sternum from the crossbow bolt knocks you back

onto the gnome. You take a further... Greg Piskett. Eight points of damage. I can never get relieved that you're in trouble Because I just have seen you escape So many times

Is this Jack and his element? Yes, it's your turn Major image, everything's on fire So the way major image works is Everyone is going to get a will saving throw Immediately because they think everything's on fire Anyone who fails Even if they fail the save and see fire

everywhere, they're not going to feel fire. Yeah, right. Well, isn't there... I think they do with Major Image. Yeah, actually, no. I think it does damage to you as well. It doesn't do damage. You're thinking of a spell from 5th edition. I also have a spell called Summon Instrument which just gives me like a newie.

Yeah, but it wouldn't be as good, I feel. No, it's not a club. It's just like... Okay. No, you can make them think it's actual fire. Sweet. They don't take damage, but they believe it's real fire. Oh, good. Okay. And then I'd like to... It's the sister from trying to... Scarpa passed him, if I can. Sister from the chimney. Yeah.

He's like, ah, I'm on fire, but they're not. Everyone's cooking. So, Wednesday, you see him try to Pat out his arm At first But immediately He's like

Wait a minute He looks down at the arm Where he thinks Fire is happening Then up at you Chanting a spell And he's like You're not fucking fooling me

Wait No Not Wednesday Sorry Tuesday The one with the club Yeah Monday Monday

Sorry Monday with the club Wednesday Up on the boxes however Starts screaming And trying to put himself out Wednesday, sorry? Tuesday, the one with the club. Yeah, Monday. Monday, sorry. Monday with the club. Good, Monday's in front of me. Wednesday, up on the boxes, however, starts screaming and trying to put himself out. Ah, silly Wednesday. Everyone around you, whether they be blood cultists or gnomes, starts screaming. That's good for us.

That's good for us. I'll enjoy the commotion. And can I try and run past on this turn? Well, you can get up and run past, but that's an attack of up from Monday. I'll cop it. He swings again with his club. He hits you again. That's fine.

Cop it in the back of the head. You take three points of damage. No worries. It's fine. Guys, I have six potions of moderate wounds. I'm okay. Oh, fuck. I forgot that.

Yeah. He took all the commander's potions. I should have taken more from him. He was very willing to give me stuff. Oh, well. No, not willing, Jack. You've basically forced, I would say. Mind-controlled.

Periwinkle, you jump. I jump again. Oh, shit. It's a close one. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Pretty strong. Whatever, then you're just on the ground.

Don't fall on me. I'm on the ground three warehouses away, so that's okay. You jump, and when you land, you land not on the tiles, but on the guttering next to the tiles. The guttering crumples immediately inwards, and you have to scramble on tiles, but you drag yourself up onto the next roof. Good.

One jump away. All right. Then it is Leo. Leo, you keep moving. Highs or lows? Highs. The mob is still slowly encroaching on you, and you're going to take another two stray shots go your way.

All right. Could I try and duck behind? Like, basically hide. I know it won't progress me further, but it might. You can hide after this happens. Alright. So, a magical bolt, another one, misses you, and so does another axe.

Not sure where the axes are coming from. Why are they throwing axes at me? That's goggles he actually can't see very well. That's why we call him Goggles. You can try to hide now if you want. So, my options would be... I could climb, hide, or keep running, would be I could climb, hide or keep running Yeah, climb, hide, keep running

So hide will make it slower Hide means you just stop moving Climbing and How far away am I from the warehouse? A bit, you're a lot further than Periwinkle is I'm going to climb Wise, I reckon I'm like two warehouses ahead, three warehouses ahead now.

Yeah. So you're halfway up the building. You try to grab at a, you try to grab at some of the, like, you know, the pipe guttering? Yep. Try to grab at that. But then a shadow jumps over you and the guttering warps before you can grab it. I'm so sorry. Tim!

Could be another giant half-orc leaping from rooftop to rooftop. I like that timing-wise, though, like, I jump, land, survive, and then we flashback, and that fucks you up. I'm like, oh, this is good, this is good, I'm gonna, oh.

It's the butterfly effect. Jeez. Yeah, so you don't fall, but you lose your handhold, and now you're just halfway up the building, and that's where your turn is. Cool. Is there, like, a window near me? There...

Highs or lows? Let's go with lows. Lows? Yeah, there's a window near you, but to scramble through it would be your next turn. All right, cool. Then it is the mob's turn. Highs or lows?

Highs. None of the mobs seem to be seeing through your ruse still. Then it is the mob's turn. How's all those? Nice. None of the mobs seem to be seeing through your ruse still, Greg Pierce. So you've got a large area of distraction where you can just charge through. Cool. However, Wednesday comes up behind you. Monday. Monday. Monday.

Excuse me. Comes up behind you. Wednesday's on fire in the raw office. Yeah. I'm a champ. God damn it. Oh, comes up behind you. Wednesday's on fire in the office. Yeah, I'm a champ. God damn it. Oh, boy. Fucking Monday. What a hero this guy is.

That's why he's named after the family that everybody hates. Yeah. Uh-oh. What? Wait. Monday grabs you by the back of your shirt and drags you towards him. You turn around, maybe to say something. Or to let loose a spell. Something anything like that.

But before you can do anything. His club clocks you in the face. Knocking a full half of your teeth. Into your mouth. Normal damage. One con damage. So your constitution has been reduced again. You lose any bite attacks you might

have. Oh no, you'll go too! You know what though, I feel like he would have used a bite attack at some point. And you gain a 20% spell failure chance on verbal spells. So any spell that requires you to say something has a 20% chance to fail.

How many of your spells require you to say something? Presumably all. You take four points of damage from the attack. Monday, I'm going to promote him. Yeah, head guard. Well, make a new militia. I'm going to make a new militia. Hey!

That's not a bad idea. A new militia with a weapon and your favourite halfling buddy by your side. I'm not against this idea. Your total hit points goes down from 56 to 49. All good. Look, that's life.

And your current hit points would also be dropped by the same amount, so they go from 35 to 28. Cool. That's a healthy boy. That's basically what that means. You've been through worse. Yeah, I was on nothing. In a cell. That's fine. That's a healthy boy. That's basically what that means. You've been through worse. Yeah, I was on nothing.

In a cell. Locked up. Losing my teeth. Do I speak like this now? Yes. Alright, it's me, Greg Piff. I like that now you have two speech impediments. How you doing?

It's me, Greg Piff. I think the first one's just an axe. It's on a speech impedimentpip. I think the first one's just an axe on a speech impediment. I have a cleft palate. That was their turn. Pierce, it's your turn. Okay, so a couple of questions. Is my exit to the of the warehouse still blocked by Monday,

yeah? No, Monday was behind you. Cool. Can I run through the door, fire a spell, shut the door? Yeah, you can. Cool. I'd like to run through the door, confusion. Lesser or on? Regular or lesser? Lesser. On Monday and then slam the door.

That'll be my turn. Is confusion a verbal spell? Probably. I assume all my spells have a 20% chance of failing these days. You manage to get the spell off and you can throw your mental weave, your mental net at Monday.

You feel it wrap around his brain, but then he shakes it off. Ah, piece of shit. All good. Can I have a pencil? Monday is amazing. Monday is like, he should be in charge.

Not you. Periwinkle, you jump to the next building. Jump to the next building. Oh no. That's a next building. Oh, no. That's a one, mate. Oh, no. So that means, like golf, I made it.

You. You made it. You jump, and as you jump, you slip off a tile, tumble into the street. You take... A lot of damage. Seven points of damage when you hit the floor on your back. I'm still fairly tanky. Yeah, you're doing fine.

Am I now in front of the warehouse that we're going to, though? Because it was the last warehouse I had to get to. No, you had to... So, one more jump and... Oh, actually, yeah, I did say two more jumps. Fair, whatever. You're one warehouse closer. This is the warehouse.

I'm now in front of the warehouse. I'm just on the ground. Yep. Great. Are there any shorefoots around? It would be so unlikely. Like, they're not allowed in this area. They could be hiding.

Highs or lows? Eh, lows. Surely it's easy for a halfling to disguise themselves as a gnome. I wish you got, like, a hunt. Like, you know, you just go, It'd be so stupid to be, You landed near one. Like, he's right in front of you.

Oh, my God. You certainly don't see any shore forts. Right. Is my turn falling, or can I now proceed? That was your turn to fall on four. Great. Leo? Go through that window.

I will be the champion that I am. Highs or lows? Highs. Highs? It opens. Cool. Go through that window. You slip in.

You're on a catwalk, like from that first warehouse. Cool. Run to the other side. You get there. I was going to say it was an apartment, but oh well. No, these are all warehouses. Run. You get to the other end.

There's a window, but it's not like an openable window. You can see Periwinkle out on the street. Can I go downstairs? Not on this turn but is there like a ladder to go downstairs one of my options basically downstairs there would be a yeah there's stairs going down but there's more windows that can't be opened it's all on this side windows that can't be opened that's all right you can get to the bottom level but you'd have to smash a window yeah i figured all right that was leo the mob. They continue to just mob, I suppose.

Hi, Delos. Hi. Still on fire? Cooking them. Incorrect. That's okay, I'm out of the house. It's very hard to read. The gnomes who get an inherent bonus on detecting illusion spells

immediately begin to see through this after one of them is like, wait a minute. And when the gnomes stop acting like they're on fire, the blood cultists are like, maybe there isn't something to this whole fire thing. I can imagine Wednesday, though, just thinks he's still on fire. Okay, so someone tries to open the door, Pierce. Do you want to try and hold it closed?

No, I'll run. No, it's not your turn. Oh, yeah, sure, I'll try and hold it closed. Are you visible yet? Yes, I assume so. Yeah, Monday's been pretty good. Oh, yeah, no, if you didn't turn on invisible once the spell happened or you were hit, you turned visible.

Cool, cool. The door is wrenched open and Monday's standing on the other side. Hero! I'm promoting the shit out of this guy if he survives. He swings at you with the club, but you slam the door on his attack and his arm is, like, in the doorway. Damn it. Oh, wait, his arm's, like, in the doorway? Yeah, it's your turn.

Can I cut it off with my saber? No. You wouldn't. First off, it's not a saber, it's your turn. Can I cut it off with my saber? No. You wouldn't. If he's trapped like this... First off, it's not a saber, it's a rapier. Rapier, rapier, rapier. Um... Oh, rapier's not very good for cutting, is it?

You can attack him, sure. I feel like that was directly just to hurt me. Well, he's been hitting me a lot. Um... Hold on, let me look at my spells for a quick sickity sack. Mirror image. That makes heaps of me, yeah? I believe four of you, yeah.

But they do exactly what I do, yeah? Yeah, they copy your image. Whatever you do. It's not like I can leave one and fuck off. They'd all run. I can never remember. Just like send them all off. Yeah, that's what I'd want.

I'd like to imagine they're all trying to fuck you. Everyone's like, that's her piss. What the fuck? They're all just pointing inwards. Him. No, they all point at you. Where are my images? He's the real Greg Piss.

No, it's that nother way. They slip up. You're not going to exist for long enough for that to be... They remain within five feet of each other. And you. So, yeah, they run kind of like next to you. Oh, good. I'll cast Invisibility again.

Because why not? I've got another casting of it. All right, you take a step back first, because otherwise it gets a free hit. And can I run as well? Yeah, sure. Oh, no, you can't. So you can cast the spell, but he gets a free hit, and then run.

Or he gets a free attack, and then run. Or you can take a step back, cast invisibility, that's your turn. Or you can attack, I suppose, as well. That's also an option. I'll take the hit. If he hits you, potentially the spell doesn't work. Well, then I won't take the hit. I'll step back, cast it. Yeah, that's your turn then. You're invisible again. Sweet. If he hits you, potentially the spell doesn't work. Well, then I won't take the hit. I'll just set back past it. That'll be my turn. All good? Yeah, that's your turn

then. You're invisible again. Sweet. Damn it. Not a fail chance? Is it verbal? Correct. Yay! Usually I wouldn't care, but I want anything to fuck him over. Anything to hurt Pierce. Nah, you you're able to without your front teeth, you're

still able to say the spell. Invisibility. Invisibility. Invisibility. Perfect. I like that all of my spells are just saying the name of the spell. Right. Major image.

Confusion. Dancing lights. Where you're like. Dancing lights. Your teacher ever taught you magic was like, these are the arcane words. Can I just get by with saying dancing lights? Because I will. I guess you can say it in common.

I mean, it's not supposed to. It goes against tradition. Yeah, whatever. I'm doing it. I like how with the broken teeth, you start to become more like Michael Caine. Yeah. Poof. She was only 19.

18? How old was she? 17? She was only 19. 19, I was right. Mark the proof. Mark the proof. A tangerine.

Big as a tangerine. Bigger than a tangerine. Bigger than a tangerine. Bigger than a tangerine. Yes? Very well, Colm. There's no door on this side. There's no windows on this side. Just painted, though, is a symbol of the company that the Shawfoots own.

And I obviously recognise this symbol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How far away are you? I'm behind you. Like, literally behind you. I probably see you through a window. If you turned around, you might see me. Can I smash the window to get him out? Does he? I'm behind you. Like, literally behind you. I probably see you through a window. If you turned around, you might see me. Can I smash the window to get him out?

Does he know I'm there? He's a bit close. You went around. You do see Leo in an upper story window, but you can't, like, get up there. You could climb up and smash the window. That'd be your turn. No, no. I think I'm going to try to get into this by the way out.

Leo waves, you wave. Hey, Leo. Hey, Leo. I'm going to get in the warehouse. Give him the. Leo waves, you wave. Hey, Leo. Hey, Leo. I'm going to get in the warehouse. Give him the thumbs up. There soon. You got up. You got down.

What? That's exactly what happened. One of you points up. One of you points down. I've decided that this relationship has turned into Holland March and Jack Healy from Nice Guys. Perfect. Yeah, yeah. That's not too inaccurate.

That's good. I'm Russell Crowe. I'm going to try to get in the warehouse, obviously. I was imagining the gauze mustache on Leo. You run around to one of the sides. This side also has no entrances. You think you're around the back of the building now.

Leo, you charge down the stairs. You're at the bottom level. You want to try and smash a window? Is there any that are open? Do I know? No, it's all unopenable windows, just like a glass thing. Then you smash one open and clamber through.

Hell yourself out. Like your namesake from the movie You smash the window but hurt yourself Hey good You deal 4 points of damage to yourself That's good Nice callback from something that happened just now But still good You're welcome

Still a callback We called back We weren't calling forward Heys or lows Heys Sorry You shut the door in Monday's face Yep Took a step back We weren't calling forward. Heyselos. Heys. Sorry. You shut the door in Monday's face. Yep.

Took a step back. Cast invisibility. You're invisible. And in the distance, you hear... Were-rats don't make a wolf sound. All were-creatures howl. It would be more like... That's infinitely more disturbing You turn around

On the roof of the building behind you You can see the Familiar silhouette Of a certain were-rat Speaking of callbacks But is this were-rat Shane? Or is it some other were-rat Greg Pierce knows? Find out next time on Jaren's Outpost Hustle,

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