D&D is For Nerds - Jarren's Outpost #19 Wererats and Warehouses

Episode Date: September 2, 2017

In which our heroes navigate traps, sewers and enemies.Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our Melb Fringe Shows or UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadHandsome Tom: twitter.com/AwkwardTreedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio. Last night I had a really weird dream where it was like set in the 80s. We were kind of like Stranger Things but not. We were uncover knife attached to the end of it and he put it up against the other guy's chest shot it he dropped it it slipped and it cut the guy's penis off and for the rest of that dream it was very severed penis heavy and i don't know what that means hey everyone sans pants radio is part of melbourne fringe this year and along with some of our other shows, we're going to be doing a live D&D's for Nerds for one night only before we chuff on off to the UK. Just head on over to melbournefringe.com.au to grab your tickets. D&D is on the 23rd of September, and check out sandspanseradio.com slash live for the dates and times of our other shows. Now, enjoy the show. Welcome to chapter 19 of Jaren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Antecedently.

You lost sight of him because there was a warehouse in between you two, and you don't know that he's fallen. He's trapped in the warehouse, surrounded by people that probably want to kill him, and we're on a rooftop. And as we run away, we just call out to the fray,reg piss is in the warehouse any any update on our boys the uh new team uh you can't see them in the mob you're not really looking back though no i'm i'm absolutely not i'm you got you got the scent of blood in my nostrils yes normal damage one con damage so your constitution has been reduced again you lose any bite attacks you might have. Oh no, you'll go too! That's a one, mate.

So that means, like golf, I made it. You made it. You jump, and as you jump, you slip off a tile like your namesake from the movie. You smash the window, but hurt yourself. Hey, good! You deal smash the window but hurt yourself. Hey, good.

You deal four points of damage to yourself. You can see the familiar silhouette of a certain were-rat. Piss, you glance nervously at the were-rat's silhouette. Um. I'm invisible, yeah?

Are you about to launch into the Seinfeld theme? I'm invisible, yeah? So you're about to launch into the Seinfeld theme. I'm invisible. We're rats, right? I mean, what's the deal? Cool, they're trying to keep out of there. They keep trying to find a manhole. That's my plan. That's my plan hole.

Find a manhole. That's my plan hole. You scan the street. It's crust right there. When you need a plan hole, find a manhole. You scan the street and you need a plan hole Find a man hole You scan the street and find a man hole cover I'm going to slide on down

You try to lift it up You can't lift it Can I use my saber for leverage? Not saber, rapier Also probably not good for leverage Do you want to? I'll give it a go I think it's the sabers You bend the rapier Rapier. Also probably not good for leverage. Do you want to? I'll give it a go.

I think it's the sabers. You bend the rapier and make it unusable as a weapon. That's fine. I can still blink with it, yeah? Yes. Yeah, that's fine. Oh, no, you've got one more blink today because we had that long conversation. That's right.

Wait, does that let me phase through things? Yes. I'll just blink down What's also great about that is that Anybody can't visually know where I went Because I was invisible to the manhole And I just disappeared down, didn't even see the manhole lift Maybe saw a bend They just see this shitty rapier just drop to the ground

Bent out of nowhere You're in the sewers. Man, I hope that were-rat can smell you. Me too. Periwinkle? I reckon it can. You keep charging, you go back the other way around. You pass Leo on your way.

Holding my arm up, blood... Keep going! Thumb up, wrapping a fucking bandage around. The only entrance you're able to see are a massive set of heavy wooden doors. There's a big old chain around them and a big brass lock. If only I knew someone who was good at picking locks. I'll be there soon. Leo, you slowly amble through the hole you made in the window and gingerly walk after Periwinkle.

You get to the front of the warehouse as well. Cool. You're going to get over that lot. I'll do my bestest. The mob are, like, right behind you guys. How does that catch up to us so quickly? You guys have been faffing for a little bit. Fair.

You were running around a building. I thought they were stuck in a warehouse all on fire. You can try and strip. Some of them were. Nah, it's kind of like a full-blown riot slowly spiraling out. Does the lock and chain look like I could rip it apart with my hands? You can certainly try. Well, you can try.

If that doesn't work, I'll pick it. All right, I'm going to try to rip the lock open before he has a crack at picking it. That'll be right after Pierce does some stuff in the sewers. Sweet. Great. Sewer Pierce. It's me? Yep.

You just try to navigate your way towards the thing, right? I try to navigate my way towards the blood cult sanctuary. I'm getting my soul back. Smart. Smart, actually. Whatever. I like how I'm going to be able to fight you guys for the weapon in the warehouse. Better you get the weapon, and then I deal with that later. Time to get my soul.

And once you get your soul, all you gotta do now is get your shadow back, and then I'm good. In the distance. Well, you still don't have an eye or a lung. I'm not getting them. All you can hear is, like, of you running through the sewer, and the distant sounds of, like, combat and yelling and the riot. Then your, like, calm reverie as you're finding your way back is broken by the sound of metal being torn off its hinges, something big landing in water, and a voice.

Little pig! Little pig! You're not a wolf. Is there anything sadder than a... Fuck, a were-rat that wishes it was a were-wolf. Is there anything sadder than a were-rat wishing it was a were-wolf? My God. Especially one named Shane. Do you say that, by the way?

Yeah. You're not a wolf. It's running towards you. That's fine. I felt like I was going to have to fight him at some point anyway. I like that it's like your classic D&D sewer level, but like... It's so different. I remember doing this in Neverwinter Nights.

All right. So, Periwinkle, you try to rip the lock open. So, good news, bad news. Bad news is I can't open... No, good news, bad news. Bad news is, I can't open... No, wait. Now go on. Bad news is, you failed to break the chain. The good news is, with your Herculean effort,

you instead just break the door. Well, that's one way of doing it. You break where the chain is fixed to on the door. I don't have my lock picking tools out. Ah, never mind. Just hold up a bit of door, throw it away. You can push the doors inwards now if you want.

Is there an opening that I can see through? You can push it enough so that you can try to gaze through. Both you and Leo try to look through to see beyond. The place is dark. I've got dark vision, remember? Yeah, so I was about to... I literally said the butt But I thought it was

When you say butt it often means butt You're now on fire You go to look but splinters Gouge out both your eyes now It's funny you should say that you are on fire Because literally what I was going to say was But the fire that falls from the ceiling Illuminates it pretty well.

You know how you put a bucket on top of a door? A bucket of alchemist fire. Alchemist fire is like Greek fire. Okay, yep. It falls onto you. Damn. Burnt face. Wait, didn't I remember holding the door?

That's what I wanted to do. Damn it, I'm in trouble. Neither of you are able to jump out of the... Oh, actually... Sneaky boy Leo. Leo probably can. No, Leo just... No, Leo just makes it.

Leo ducks, dives, and rolls out of the way, taking no damage. Holding my bloody arm. Periwinkle, the alchemist fire does six points of damage to you. Ah, what? All right. Strong voice. Trying to get my own track of my own score. Periwinkle, the alchemist fire does 6 points of damage to you Ah, what else? Alright Strong voice Trying to get my own, track of my own score

64 Hey, that's what I thought Well done The warehouse, or the part that you can see Is now illuminated by the fire There's many different boxes here All of them have that Shorefoot family crest

Stamped onto the side of them Is it a shamrock? No it's a leprechaun That's gotta be sort of offensive Wait no leprechauns are probably like a thing They are yeah They're a race That's so weird

The Shorefoot family The Shorefoot family basically like They make dollywogs right? Yeah that's what it seems like. Like a racist depiction of an African-American. It's like a racist depiction of a leprechaun. The Shorfoot family assures everyone they do business with that their gold cutlery and...

I keep wanting to say silverware, but it's not silverware if it's goldware. Goldenware. Goldenware comes from only sustainably sourced leprechauns. You know there are terrible leprechaun mines somewhere where it's just like rows and rows of rainbows. Is it basically like Blood Diamond? Is that the setup that I imagine here?

Where's the pot? Where's the pot? There's meant to be a party under this rainbow. In actuality, you might know that the Surefoot family run a scam using Well with leprechauns using leprechaun gold Yeah not fair, not fair Okay Shifty people Okay

Other than that though you don't see any people but it's a big place Yeah Can I stand in the warehouse and just yell into the darkness? You can yell in the darkness. I'm just going to yell out into the warehouse. Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of ginger scum. Oh, that's good. No one responds.

You guys can move into the warehouse if you want. Yes, I do. All right. You slowly creep in. Did we get any healing potions from anyone? No. I want to scan around to see if there's like a manhole, actually. My plan is to find a manhole.

Find a manhole. That's the plan in the game. Inside, do you mean? Yeah. Because there was like a... They come from underneath. You can't see any manholes, but you'd have to like because there was like a... They come from underneath. You can't see any manholes, but you'd have to start giving this place a thorough search. Alright.

Can I see further than the illuminated area with my darkvision? Not really, no. The illumination actually casts light further than what your darkvision can normally see. You switch out of darkvision. Boo! Do good! Flat mode. If you haven't played Splinter Cell, the noise when you turn your night vision on and off.

What? Boo! I guess we just started exploring the warehouse. Give it a bit of a search. Any signs of where the short-foot smart guy is. Maybe some sneaky health pots. Yes. Love a health pot.

That'll be your next time. Cool. Pierce, you're just going to keep going? How close does the Shane sound like he is? Very close Okay so to drink a health potion And then smash a health potion

To make a makeshift weapon One move Sure I'll do that then And also Quick question If I just stab Where we're at

With a broken health potion That's not gonna heal him Oh that would be Depends how much Trace amounts of health potion. Shut it off. I'll get it nice and effective.

Give him sepsis. You recover 10 hit points. And then I'm just going to wait. Makeshift health potion smashed bottle at the ready to fight this were-rat to the death. Craig Pierce is cleaning up his deaths right now.

Beginning tonight, Greg Pierce cleans his debts. But tomorrow he will have some new ones. The celebration will be earning new debts. Sweet. Run a tab, would ya? Alright. Have you learnt nothing, Greg Pierce?

Learned what? No. You have no credit, remember? Credit Don't know what you're talking about I'll just have my I'll just take a beer, that's fine Out of the darkness, it comes at you So, you look significantly different than when you last saw him When you last saw Shane the were-rat

He was like, he had smooth, like, silky fur Like a house dog or something like that. An animal that has been looked after. Or a lab rat. Or a lab rat. An animal that has been looked after. You believe that potentially Shane has been, has stayed as a were-rat since you last saw him?

Oh, that can't be good for a were-creature. Don't stay as the thing you've become. His once silky fur is now shaggy and mottled in patches. You can see, like, his hair is starting to thin on his haunches, and he's got these sickly, like, bumps and such. Looks like he might have mange or something. Like, my Skepsis-y health potion smash bottle is not going to do much different.

Might improve his health, to be honest. His maw has this, like, reddish tinge to it, and you know he's been feeding recently. I'm going to get rabies if he bites me. I'm pretty sure were-at rabies is the worst kind of rabies. Yeah. Probably turn you into a were-at. Arguably.

It might be all right, because I only have the rabies when I'm a were-at. Yeah. It's like context-specific rabies. If a doctor were to check my body, he's like, it's not here, but when you're in your rat form, Pierce. Oof. Get that stuff back. So I just won't ever transform?

No, no, no, you'll transform every full moon. So I only have rabies for the full moon? Yes, it'll kill you. It takes nine years to kill you. So it'll probably take you 90 years to die. That's pretty, that's livable. Look, were-rat rabies isn't a death sentence anymore. Were-rat rabies is manageable.

He is a death sentence. To be honest, if I was a were-rat, I think my life would probably improve. Yeah. At this point, your life can only improve. He lands on you. Oh, fuck. His first attack, his bite, he sinks his teeth deep into your shoulder. You take five points of damage.

Hey, how does he become a were-rat? There's a chance every time he bites me. Really? He is. Actually, I remember when he first attacked you. That's what we... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll never know. Like, Adam just rolls for it.

I can't tell. There was a fifth ed game that we played with Dusha and we were fighting a were-rat. And Dusha got bitten. He got got to be fighting a were-rat and Dusha got bitten and he got got to be turned into a were-rat and Claire, I had try as he might, could not get bitten to be turned into a were-rat.

Zamet wanted to be a were-rat so bad. Zamet was very disappointed. Do you know what I like? In my head I'm imagining a scenario you want to be a were-rat badly and Dusha wants to be anything but a were-rat. It was very hard to be like rather than the character, he'd be like Drops my armour Opens up his chest

Please bite me Come at me As he tries to chlorate you You slash upwards With the broken health potion bottle And you cut him along his chest And then into his neck Blood starts coming out thick and fast

And you feel the air leave his lungs Whoa Crit hop Oh crit fail for him Oh well hey look I got him still coming out thick and fast, and you feel the air leave his lungs. Whoa! Crit, hop! Oh, crit fail for him. Oh, well, hey, look, I got him still. I like that, like, no, no, no, you didn't do something good. The were-rat fucked up.

He did something bad. Hey, still a success for you, so hey. Yeah, look. I feel like all of Greg Piss's successes are actually the failures of others. That's the other family motto. From your inbred mother's side. I like to imagine the, like, you know, you have the two animals on either side of the crest.

It's just like two monkeys giving each other the finger. Monkey see, fuck you. Oh, man. But, like, in Latin, written underneath. But, monkus see us, monkus fuck us, you us. You go first. Oh man But like in Latin Written underneath But Moncusius Moncus Fuckus

Uus You go first Yeah There's like a maze of boxes In typical horror trope I turn to Leo And I'm like You wanna split up?

We can cover more ground Scooby do that shit We Scooby do that shit And split up And I start exploring one part How long does message If I cast message How long does that shit and split up and I start exploring one part. How long does message... If I cast message, how long does that last for?

Around. Okay. If I find something, I'll message you. If you find something, just holler out. I'll probably yell. I'll just yell. I'll yell as well. So I head off one direction.

He heads off the other. Okay. As you're creeping forward, you take a step in this maze of boxes and you feel like a twang you know you've tripped something you look around wildly in the darkness and from one of the uh from in between a tiny little gap in between two boxes a massive like half a tree trunk swings outwards to try and slam into you. Jesus. It catches you in the side twisting you around.

You take 10 points of damage. Jesus. We should have looked for traps first. I wonder if you'd be strong enough that when it's coming down you could just grab it. Well, I was going to ask

if there was an option for me to be able to catch it in mid-air and save myself getting damaged, but... It came too quickly. Yeah. That would be cool, though, if I had it down the full Superman stopping a train and just slid towards the door. That would be meh.

The tree trunk slowly starts like... Like slowing down. I just yell out, There are traps! Fair enough. Then, yeah, I'll just kind of maybe slow my progress, but look for traps.

You start looking, you slow your progress and start looking for traps. You find a, I was about to say a similar tripwire. You don't know it's similar, but you find a tripwire. You're not sure what tripping it does, but you think it's probably best not to find out. Yeah, and I'll step over it. Yeah, you step over it.

Keep moving. Keep searching. I'll call out, found another. He just looked out the tripwire. Too late. Ah. Okay. Distantly, you all hear the sounds of the mob.

Piss. Yes. Uh-oh. Yes. Your turn. I'd like to bring my makeshift weapon into the neck of the were-rat. That's pretty much all I can do at this point. You can summon a new loot, by the way.

Yes. Just to remind you. But, like, my spells don't really work in combat, unfortunately. No, I can't fascinate or anything in combat, can I? No, not something that's... Oh, no, I think it gets massive bonuses. It's not worth it. Oh, really? Yeah. That's more for, like, bruising people. So, b that's, uh, or, no, I think it gets massive bonuses. It's not worth it. Not really. That's more for, like, bruising people. So, bards are, like,

basically, uh, before combat starts, I've got all this shit to do. Well, like, the abilities that Jackson has picked are, like, buff, buff ones, oh, sorry, um, not in combat, ones, really. Yeah. Okay. They're for getting myself out of trouble, rather than... You slash at Shane with

your glass bottle, but you can't really score a hit. He's too close in with you, tearing at you. Speaking of tearing at you. Shane continues to try and bite at any part of your exposed skin, but he can't get a good hit in on you either. You're kind of like boxers, hugging each other really tightly so neither of you can get a good blow in.

Yeah, he's like trying to scratch, he's trying to bite, he's trying to do anything, but all he can do is like bite and scratch around you. Periwinkle, you continue to move forward. I'm now moving forward carefully, checking for traps this time,

giving the bird to that stupid tree trunk as I walk past it. As you continue to move, you see in the concrete floor an odd-coloured square. You choose to avoid that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see weird-coloured squares? Probably traps. Thank you!

When the mob comes through. Yeah. Good. Good places to leave them. Keep going. Leo, you continue to move. Mm-hmm. Sounds like the mob comes through. Yeah. Good. Good places to leave them. Keep going. Leo, you continue to move. Mm-hmm. Sounds like the mob aren't coming in here.

We found anything of note? Nah, just lots of crates and boxes. This place looks like it's designed to do what it is currently doing. Yeah. Makes sense. This game has lots of mobs. There's literal mobs and then mob mobs. It's more like a riot now, to be honest.

When does a mob become a riot? And other philosophical questions. Leo, you think you see a light up ahead and you are kind of wary of it, you you're peering at it very closely paying a lot of attention to it so you don't notice when you step on a square that clicks down a little bit what color is it that's oddly colored to the rest was it like an odd color to the rest an arrow fires from where you saw that light. Probably. Yeah, arrow shoots. You duck underneath the arrow,

it passes overhead. Oh, boy. Sneaky. Piss. You alive, Leo? Can I just shove my hand into... Got a haircut. Here's a question, Alan.

If I'm to shove my hand down his throat and summon my instrument, it won't summon in his throat. Yeah, that's fine, I'll just cast confusion on him then That actually would have been the best Put summoner loot inside the werewrap Any summoning spell specifies That you can't do that For that exact reason

Nah fair, pity It's so good You throw your mental net around his mind exact reason. Nah, fair. Pity. Pity. It's so good. You throw your mental net around his mind and you feel his mind cave in. Ah, got him. You got him. Sweet. What's he doing? Is this the one that basically can

cause brain damage? Yeah. We brain damaged that orc. This is brain damage. Way early on and he just like fell over. But it can also make him just like redouble his attack. I'd say we're happy at times when we're just hiding behind boxes looking at orcs. Good times. Good times.

We didn't trust either of us. Yeah. Still don't, but... I'm sure you two develop some variety of bonds. You know that your spell has affected Shane, but you can't really tell from his actions. He continues to attack you. Ah, goddammit. I got the attack one.

But on his next turn, it might change. It changes, so look. You're still too close together, however, for him to be able to do anything. That's good. And you have noticed that as he's been swinging and swinging and swinging, you can see that he's still bleeding very profusely

and his swings are getting weaker and weaker and swinging. You can see that he's still bleeding very profusely, and his swings are getting weaker and weaker and weaker. Periwinkle, you continue to move. Continue to move, keeping an eye out for traps. So, Periwinkle. Ah, okay, yes. You see an open crate, and you think you hear a baby crying. You walk closer.

Look in. And you can see like a little stroller. The stroller is turned away from you. As you get closer and closer. You look around in the stroller. What the fuck? And in the stroller is a wooden baby. That is like a doll. Like a child's doll,

and its mouth is open. From its mouth is coming the wah, wah, wah. You look at it, and then the little doll head turns to look at you, and the little wooden doll leaps out at you.

Jesus. Can I try to flick it away from me? As soon as it wraps itself around you, it explodes. Jesus. What the fuck? I don't like these surefoot people. No, thank you.

I feel like Periwinkle would be dumb enough to fall for a crying baby in a warehouse. Periwinkle would absolutely be like, I've got to help this baby. Oh, shit. It was one of them splody babies. He takes seven points of damage as wood fragments embed themselves deep in him. I'm going to stop keeping score. I'm in trouble. You're still healthier than me.

Haven't found any potions in my explosions of this warehouse, have we? You can start trying to crack open crates or the shipping containers if you want, but you feel like maybe they are also trapped. I feel like everything is trapped. It's a mixed bag. Leo. Yeah, I'll just keep going forward looking for them. If you hear a baby

It's not a baby I very much like that you're warning each other of the traps Like one of you is always going to get got by the traps So far it's just been me He dodged I got got but I dodged it As you're walking Leo You see a training dummy

Like for someone who's practicing Martial arts or sword blows or something like that. I don't know what this is. You think it moves when you're not looking at it, but you choose to ignore it and keep going. The sun sets. Just like that? No, it's been setting for a while now. I just wasn't sure if it was like, guys, something is terribly wrong.

Which sun? The sun, well, the second sun has set. And so the light coming from outside has completely diminished or is completely gone now. You guys are drenched in darkness and you're going to need light to be around. Is there anything like, say, another light source? Well, there is the fire. The fire is kind of your own. Is there anything like a say, another light source? Well, there is the fire. The fire is kind of going out. I meant like as in a clue

of maybe where to go. Oh, when the light goes out completely? Yeah, you can see somewhere deep within the facility there's a light shining. It's like a glow, like a sun rising sort of thing, but it's not very bright. Cool, I think I know where we're going.

Can you look to whatever direction it was? You guys have to really yell now to hear each other. You think you're moving away from each other. Cool. Anyway. You've also got spells that you can talk to me. Yeah, I'm going to cast light. You cast light?

You can use darkvision. Yeah, cool. Cast light on my hand. Your light illuminates the darkness and makes you feel... You've got my lantern still, too. Remember? I gave it to you. That's true.

With the light in hand, you feel a little better. Yes. And we're making our way to that thing. Glowing our way downtown. So, confusion? Is that still in effect? It's still affecting him, yeah. Okay.

As far as you can tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not strong enough to roll him into the water to drown him, am I? He's feeling less and less... Oh, let's give it a go. Whilst we're tangling, I'd like to hurl us around into the middle of the sewer so he's beneath me. Do you like a full crocodile death roll? Yeah, and try and death roll him into the water.

Drown this rat. Drown this confused brain-dead rat. Drown the rat. You feel like you wouldn't normally be able to do this But because he's been getting weaker and weaker As he's been bleeding more and more heavily You roll him over and push him underwater Yes Drown the rat

He continues to try and attack you though They kill a werewolf right? Silver bullet or drowning They have lungs they need them to work I feel like setting a werewolf on fire would also kill it. Yeah. Look, basically anything that would just kill people is good for a while. You know.

It's all much the same. He sinks his teeth deep into your arm. You take seven points of damage. You're fine. You're fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I've got fucking five potions left.

Four potions left. Yeah, you drank one, smashed one. After his bite. Why didn't you just smash the one that you drank? fine you're fine i'm fine i'm fine i've got fucking five potions four potions left yeah you drank one smashed one after his bite why didn't you just smash the one that you drank it just did you not no no yes i did no no no no he just said i drank one and i smashed one i've only got four left he used up for real yeah i'm not a clever man It was like In your hand I like to imagine that you drank it Threw it away

Pulled another one out And went yes let's go No you would have had to Because it would have It'd just be too dumb If you did that We can go back And listen to it

He said the words He is stupid I'm not like We can go back and listen to it. He said the words. He's stupid. I felt like, Jack, you were knocking my DM screeners in like, come on. Give me the phone. Ah, whatever. It was a moment of panic. Were you actually in your mind thinking that you had used two?

Yes. Odds or evens? Odds. Yeah, you used two. Like an idiot. Maybe as he sinks his teeth into your arm, you contemplate the choices that you have made that have

led you to this point. You don't contemplate them for very long, though, because one of his arms comes up and tries to scratch your face. Successfully scratches your face, I should say. You take five points of damage from that. Well, good. He's dying.

Whatever, you're drowning a rat. It's easy. Drown the rat. You've got four potions left. I'm fine. Five would be better. You'd be really awkward if you needed five. If you only had one more potion,

you would have survived. What happened to that fifth potion? I will heal you completely in exchange for five potions. I will give you the weapon

in exchange for five health potions exactly. And I just need to look up disease. God damn it. Disease? Well.

Well, you know, at first, like, there's the lycanthropy thing that we need to worry about but now you've been bitten and your wound is in sewage. Yeah, no. And also, he's not a clean rat.

No. And also, sewers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Open wound in sewers. How do you get typhoid? How does typhoid work? Feel this. I feel like this exact situation.

All those people on the wall, they got typhoid. How? They fought were-rats in the sewer and were bitten. I'm going to be so sick when this is done. God damn it. But hey, look, that's life. That's what all the people say. Is it fully sick or just like fully sick?

Periwinkle, you keep moving. Keep moving, checking for traps with my dark vision. You see, as you're walking through, two containers open, and you think you can hear running water coming from one of them. You choose to ignore it. You keep moving.

You turn a different way. Yeah, no, I'm definitely doing that. Yeah, no. Don't need that. Don't need that in my life. You do not need open containers in your life. Not for me. Maybe more wood babies.

Are we getting closer to the source of the light? You're slowly making your way towards it, but it's difficult to know exactly because you're... This place, like I said, is designed you think to be an actual maze. Get on top of the boxes. Would it be easier to climb the boxes?

Could I climb the boxes and walk on top of them? You could certainly try. That'll have to be your next turn. That's alright, that's okay. Leo, did you want to climb this turn? No, I think I know enough about traps that I'm like, I think I got this. And plus, I'm thinking, they're halflings.

They think like me. If I was thinking to climb, they might fuck me. So there might be traps on top of every box. Yeah, I'm staying here. You know how you can get walls and stuff like that that aren't connected to a ceiling? It's like you get them sometimes in office spaces and stuff like that. You come to a wall that has a door in it.

You could climb over it if you want, but you choose instead to open the door. And when you do that, you feel a magical energy sock you in the face. No real artistry to this trap and that's why you fell for it. It's just dumb and obvious.

It's literally a door. Door, door. You take four points of damage. Who traps doors? This would be way too easy if it was a trap. I like how I'm Irish.

I'm a mysterious evil baby doll and you just got punched by magic. Yeah, I'm looking through this like detecting magic looking at everything. It you just got punched by magic. Yeah, I'm just like looking through this like, oh, this, yeah, this is like

detecting magic, looking at everything. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. Oh. Oh, wait. Does confusion change every round?

Uh, yeah, it does. Yeah, cool. Um, I will... I actually forgot that last round. Yeah, no, I figured. Um, that's okay.

Um, I'll stab him again in the head. That's fine. Alright. Oh, you just wanna... You can stab him in the head or you can keep him pinned. Oh, keep drowning I figured. That's okay. I'll stab him again in the head. That's fine. Alright. Oh, you just want to... You can stab him in the head or you can keep him pinned. Oh, keep drowning him. Keep drowning him. Because you need to, like, work to make that happen.

Yeah, I can't do both. That's fair. You keep him underwater. Will the were-at-Shane drown? Find out next time on Jaren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D is for nerds adventure thanks for listening if you want to help support the show why not become a member at sanspantsplus.com and get early access to our shows a bunch of exclusive content and much much more that's sanspantsplus.com

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