D&D is For Nerds - Jarren's Outpost #4 Confused Chieftain

Episode Date: July 11, 2017

In which our heroes try to get to the big tent. Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradio Want to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradio Or individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadHandsome Tom: twitter.com/AwkwardTreedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SantPantsRadio, it's all in the wrist. Sending something flying towards the Orcish camp. A large Wright Brothers-esque but big contraption. Are the Orcs rallying to protect any particular point? Or are the Gnomes rallying to go to a particular point? If Adam's happy, I've learned that I shouldn't be. Okay, I've got two pieces of bad news. One's pretty bad. One's just the worst. The dragon steps over you and crushes the

blacksmith. None of you know what dwarves are doing here. I don't even know where dwarves can fucking come from. Talk to my fists and say the word apius, which is Latin for bee. Oh, that's painful, but I'm really excited to fucking do this. You feel the cut on your

belly, and then you feel like a great weight lifting from you. You look down to see your guts lying on the floor. Greg Pierce, you've been grievously wounded while the fight rages around you. I'm an idiot. Should have cast mirror image, made another one of me, and at least I got a 50-50 chance of not getting hit. There you go.

You should have done. Damn, I'm stupid. We are stupid. This is why we're in this mess. Because you're an idiot. No, no, this was me. Your maximum hit points are now 42. Okay.

And your current hit points are now 17. Right. All right. Fair enough. All right, then. Does this mean I'm like, since Periwinkle is punching from the front, I can maybe attack from behind? And like maybe...

Clear some of the dwarves out before I get there? Clear some of the dwarves before he gets there and like, hey, that's pretty good. You got another round. You can certainly try. Oh, jeez. You're not with the rest of the group and kind of being assaulted from all directions.

None of the dwarves were expecting to see a halfling. This was a dumb idea. We should have gone to one of the other buildings. We could have just waited. I was thinking we could just go home, come here tomorrow when none of this is happening. Yeah. That's fine. We'll be fine.

What the fuck's the dragon doing? It's still coming behind us, isn't it? Yeah, seven rounds. That's right. We're ahead of it. Yeah, we're doing all right. We're all right. We're all right.

We're fine. We're doing good. We'll come at us on top. At the moment, we're one round ahead of it getting to where we're doing all right. We're all right. We're all right. We're fine. We're doing good. We'll come at us on top. At the moment, we're one round ahead of it getting to where we're going to be because I killed nine people in three turns. Fuck, you're good. So we'll jump back to... Oh, wait, no.

So Leo, because you didn't really have a turn, you can get up and look around you. The dwarves, some of them are trying to take swipes at you just because either they maybe don't trust a halfling, they're not expecting a halfling. They know you're not one of them. I was like, why? Guys, gee whiz.

You're cutting through them right now. I'm not. You were going. I took a round place like either a block of wood. Actually, you were asking me if you could. I was wondering if that's how the game mechanic works. It's like either a block of wood... Actually, you were asking me if you could. I was wondering if that's how the game mechanic worked. But yeah, you can fight... Actually, it's probably the best idea is to fight your way back to them.

I'd say if you can kill one dwarf, you're back with them. I'm like, why, jerk? Stab. Highs or lows? Highs. Highs? All right. Yeah, the dwarf you're attacking just didn't see you land behind him.

So I'm going to say you get a sneak attack against him. Woo! Oh, you have two daggers. You're dual wielding, obviously. One of them has an ability that's always on. I think it's thundering. Yeah. So one of your daggers named Thunder always has electricity damage that it deals as well.

Fuck yeah, that's rad. That's mad. Your other dagger named Venom has a special ability that you can only use once a day, where when you hit someone with Venom, they are, like, poisoned as the spell, which is a bit more effective than actual just poisoning. Gotcha. No, I'm not going to poison this one. You can only do it once a day, just saying.

Yeah, we'll do that. Maybe if I'm alive, when we get the big orcs. Yep. Sounds good. I don't even know how we're going to really get the weapon out of the tent, to be honest. We probably should have fought. The other side of the tent? Yeah, push it out the other side.

Just break the leather. Cut the leather, grease the floor, push it out. Hopefully it gets it to land to a boat, I assume. Or at least we'll just move it to a boat. Even if it lands in the ocean. Swim after it. Dragons can't swim. Dragons can't swim. Who can? No, they can't go in water because they breathe fire, obviously. There we go. Makes sense lands in the ocean, swim after it. Get it. Dragons can't swim. Dragons can't.

Who can? No, they can't go in water because they breathe fire, obviously. There we go. Makes sense to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sold.

It's not called Dungeons, Dragons and Oceans. Come on, guys. You deal 30 points of damage to the unaware dwarf. Wow. Killing him. You eviscerate him.

Come behind. You keep cutting until you, like, cut through, like, you're just tearing behind. You keep cutting until you, like, cut through. Like, you're just tearing parts out of his back. Stupid dwarf attack me, bitch. Until you reach the skin of his belly. Jesus.

The dwarf collapses and you're with your mates. Hi. Do I even realise that he wasn't there? Probably not. Nah, nah, cool. Turd, turd, turd. You're just, like, punching as Leo climbs out the stomach of the dwarf. Does that mean I have one less dwarf to punch, too? Yes. Great. Shit, yes. You're just like punching as Leo climbs out the stomach of the dwarves.

Does that mean I have one less dwarf to punch too? Yes. Great. Shit, yes. Actually, yes. You only take four points of damage this time. Hey. Doing good.

Oh, God. And I've taken out two more. Yeah, we're getting there. We're getting there. So was that the first layer of dwarves? Yes. Yes. All right. So you got-

First layer of dwarf. I'm basically leaving them stingers out or bringing them back out every time I punch. Apeus, apeus, apeus, apeus, apeus, apeus, apeus, apeus. You get to the next round of dwarves. I really look forward to being able to heal my outside guts. Heys or Loge? Me. Yeah, one of you.

Anyone. I don't want to take this. I'm scared to. See, I feel like I want to go Loge. Go Loge. I also feel like I want to go lows. We're all going lows. Alright, cool.

Greg Piss, you dead? You begin fighting your way through. Oh, Greg Piss, would you like to do something about your bleeding? Yeah, I cure moderate wounds just to sort me out. I'll deal with the con damage and the bleeding out and all that. I'll deal with the rest when I get a chance

whatever I'm not you know I'm squishy anyway so Greg Pierce you recover but but unfortunately

16 hit points okay that's and you stop the bleed damage oh good hey do my guts go back in or do I grow new guts uh your guts go back in

you need a separate spell to regenerate new guts if your guts had been cut out of you, you couldn't heal them back. Jesus Christ. So your skin would heal, you'd stop bleeding, but you wouldn't be able to eat or digest food. Yeah.

I'd get so thin. Beautiful. What was I? Oh, yeah. And Periwinkle, you take 11 points of damage, but you're on another round. Beautiful. Bang. How close to 40 am I? Oh, yeah. And Periwinkle, you take 11 points of damage, but you're on another round. Beautiful. Bang.

How close to 40 am I? 40? Yeah. You're on 19. Heal him. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. So to maybe help some of that, like the 11 points or whatever, can I also be attacking my dwarf in front of me just before he?

Well, we can do this with the next round, but you don't get sneak attacks because people are kind of aware of you in the fight. So now we've got one more round of dwarves to go. Yes, this will be the last round of dwarves.

Oh, you're next turn. Don't worry. All right. That'll be my last cure moderate. But that's fine. It's cure minor. Cure light.

Yeah. It's fine. It's good Bang You take six more points of damage But you're through another wave Duh We're at the bloody

Grizzly walks now I'm just like Yep Breathing heavily Covered in Gore and blood I like to think Every level

He is like He's shrinking Because he's losing bone mass Now they've replenished And that's the pain I imagine your arm Is purple with like is shrinking because he's losing bone mass. Now they've replenished, and that's the pain. Imagine your arms purple with veins sticking out. It's grody, but

it's getting the job done. These orcs look like they're some sort of honor guard, or just the personal force of the chieftain, perhaps. You guys all maybe know a little bit more, some of you more than others, know a little bit about orc you more than others know a little bit about um orcish tribes and how they structure themselves there's a chieftain who's the technical

leader and then there's a shaman who's like the spiritual leader and while the chieftain makes pretty much all of the decisions a lot of big decisions need the shaman's approval or at least need the quotation marks god's approval the shaman throws some bones up and is like the god's approved because if the bones don't land correctly the chieftain will kill the shaman and pick a new one

it's actually a very tenuous relationship where either can kind of kill the other and take their place but everyone knows it's on purpose because orc tribes are supposed to be all about strength.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you can't defend yourself, you don't deserve to be chieftain or shaman. Man. Being an orc is scary. It's fun too. I'm only half. Your knock-knock has words with you. A knock-knock would be proud of me. Yeah, I think knock. Knock Knock would be proud of me.

Yeah, I think Knock Knock would be proud of me. She left the tribe for love, I assume. Yeah, she did. Aww. The fact that I'm killing them orcs, she'd be like, good boy. They were too weak to live anyway. We're a fail. Yuck. Alright, strong orc time. Alright, here we go. So now I need to actually roll damage because it might matter.

Yeah, oh yeah. You still do a lot of damage. Yeah. Are you gonna heal me soon? Yes, that's the plan on my next round or turn. Okay. Are you gonna heal him? Yeah, yeah, well he's the one doing all the damage. If he dies, I'm killed. We're fucked.

Yeah. Both, I think, me and you just... Part of it's like, at this point, am I too fatigued to keep going with the stingers and do I just go into a bloodlust rage and start power-hitting the shit out of people? I feel like the more stingin' you get, you lost four hit points, you're only on 16.

I think I'm only on, like, 13. Yeah, yeah, I can get rid of them stingers now. Yeah, I want to get rid of this, not using the stingers, unless you've just rolled for me using the stingers. Adam, why that face? I have. Sure. I've got bad news. Yep. And I've got some

really fucking shit news. I'm dead. Now, you have 13 hit points, and you took 12 damage from this round. So you're on one hit point. That's the bad news. Yeah, yeah. Someone shouldn't have used the stinger.

I've got some bad news, I've got some worse news, and I've got some fucking awful news. So that was the bad news. Yep. The worst news is that you actually didn't kill all three. There's still one standing. The one in front of Greg Pierce. Right.

And third off, you missed because you got a critical failure. Oh, yeah. You're getting too fatigued, man. I'm too tired. I should have

put the stingers away and just gone into a blood rust punch. You're getting too fatigued. Your cutter, by the way,

this one's called. Oh, gosh. Adam looks gleeful. He's looking up stuff Oh boy Periwinkle This might be your

Last stand Sonny Jim Oh boy Oh dear Sorry I have made a Tiny Huge mistake

You have Worn out the magic Of your gauntlets You've done it so much They're not used to this It's like exercising a muscle. Yeah, yeah. It's like the muscle is now spasming, cramping from having to like take all this mass.

Yeah, yeah. And now they just won't stop taking from your muscles. So I can't go back? No, you can still stop, but they are still draining base from your muscles to rebuild themselves. And because of that, every round, you are going to lose one point of strength until someone makes a successful

heel check, DC 15. Now, I've looked at it. None of you have ranks in heel. The best wisdom that any of you have, which is the skill that dictates it, is 1 plus 1. Because all of you have wisdom 12. Yes.

Right. You need to roll 14 or higher. And every time you don't I lose strength. Which is basically my thing. Your whole deal. So your strength is now 17.

If I take the gauntlets off I've got no weapons because I didn't... Oh, I've got the fucking sword! Now, options are you can focus on stopping the strength bleed or you can focus on just keep pushing forward until you get to the tent. You might, if you just

ignore it all, you can let them two try to just like heal the strength bleed and instead of rolling three times a turn just roll two times a turn yep and just like keep pushing forward prioritize that and then just minimize the amount of time you're taking strength bleed or you can stop and just try to fix it now uh it's up to you guys. How strong am I? What's my health going? Your health is one. So actually,

he's going to need to spend this first round. That's what I'll do. Yeah. You help me. I'll try and do a thingy. We'll start with you, Greg. How many?

Cure moderate. Cure moderate? Yep. That's my last second level spell. Oh, boy. You recover. It's almost going to be like you're just going to be cured.

16 hit points. You're going to be cured. All right. That's better. Yeah. So it's up to me like, you're just going to be cured. 16 hit points, Sean. You're just going to be cured. All right, that's better. Yeah. So it's up to me to cure his strength. Yep. Good luck.

Now, Leo Shadow, you roll to... Oh, but I put the stingers away. Probably for the best. Strength bleed still happening. Leo Shadow is just desperately trying to, like, fix you from behind. But at first, he's like, bandages. And that's not what he needs. My injuries are internal and many.

Bandages will do not help me. Do you want to just keep punching, yeah? I kind of have to, don't I? Is he better with the sword or with his punches? Sorry? Sword or his punches. Punches. He's better with the punches than anything else.

Punch away. I'm a billy club too. And a bow. Oh, billy club. That's I've got a billy club too. And a bow. Oh, billy club. That's mad. Can I billy club one hand, scimitar other hand? You get penalties. Massive penalties.

But you can. I'm not going to do that. You're much better with your fists. I'm just going to keep punching. We had the conversation yesterday. Can I take the gauntlets off? You can, but their effect will still be working on you. They'll be added to your fists.

Basically, my hands are cursed. Yeah. You've got cursed hands. Oh, man, we thought it was like a bee magic. It's a bee curse. It's a bee curse. Well, being a bee is a curse. Bees struggle.

Now you truly understand why the bee dies. Well, at this point, I'm in a shitload of pain. This thing's draining my muscles. I'm angry, Adam. I'm very angry. And you're not going to be my friends when I'm in a shitload of pain. This thing's draining my muscles. I'm angry, Adam. I'm very angry. And you're not going to be my friends when I'm angry. So I'm going to start just a bit of a bloodlust. Punching, punching, punching.

Do you want to go like still using the gauntlets to draw all of your energy out? Or do you still want to be taking the damage? You don't have to be. The gauntlets, like I said, will be drawing on your muscles regardless, just to rebuild themselves. You can also still make those stingers if you want. I'm only on 17, though, and you've used all your healing. I've got more healing, but it's just not as good anymore.

I'm not going to put the stingers... Hey, question. If I put the stingers out, went into my power striking mode, and just started punching how many orcs could I kill successfully at max? At max? Like everyone around you?

Just like in the immediate vicinity? So I could kill all of the orcs we had to get past? No, because there are orcs beyond. Like further along? I don't think it's worth it. We just got one orc and he's probably along. I don't think it's worth it. Yeah, I don't think it's worth it. You just got one orc, and he's probably damaged.

Yeah, he's just one orc. You can instead use your power attack stuff, so you go into that fugue state. Yeah, I'm going to go into a fugue state, just start wailing on bitches. All right. You can do it up to six, so like levels. Six is the highest, one is the lowest.

And the higher it is, the less accurate I am. Yes. The higher it is, the more the effects are. I'm pretty angry, Adam. Six it is. It's O'Rourke-en time. You make no progress this round. God damn it.

You missed entirely. You're just wildly flailing. Do I hit either of these guys? No. Don't give him ideas. Jesus. wildly flailing. Do I hit either of these guys? Hey, no. I mean, no. No, you don't hit either. I don't give him ideas. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, that's that turn. So, the support team. What would the support team like to do? So, I can't charm a person in a fight, can I? No. What does confusion do? Confusion makes you confused. What? Why are we fighting, guys?

I don't even have this spell. God dang. Excuse me? What? What? What's happening? I could grease the floor in front of us. Everyone would be bad for all of us.

A confused person has percentile chances to do different things. So a 10% chance that they'll attack whoever casts the spell. There's a 10% chance they'll act normally. There's a 30% chance they'll do nothing but babble. That's all right. There's a 20% chance they'll flee away from the caster at top speed. That's pretty good. And there's a 30% chance they'll just

attack the nearest thing to them. Are we the nearest thing to them? I'm the nearest thing to him. There'll be a bunch of people standing around them. I'll roll. So, like, nearest thing to them, and then I roll, like, a 1 in 8 chance that it's 20%. So, 20% chance of 8 in chance of something good. Yeah.

I'll slide underneath old Perry's legs and be like, confusion on the orc. It's just music. Power slide while I do it. Good thing I gave you your loot back. I think I can summon instruments, but it's like a garbage instrument. Yeah, I think so.

It's like a bad flute. Does it have to be any flute? Like a magical one? Because I have a drum. Yeah, I can do. It's like a bad flute. Does it have to be any flute? Like a magical one? Because I have a drum. Yeah, I can do it with any instrument. That's alright. I have a pitcher made of clay you can blow into it. That's good.

You see the orc's pupils not dilate. What's it when they go to pinprick? Is that dilate? Yeah, that's dilate. Dilate until they're but a pinprick. And his eyes also Take on this odd purplish hue The orc lowers his weapon

And is just like Past him Did you cast confusion or lesser confusion? Confusion Oh okay wow Yeah you um Messed him up for life I would have given an orc

Permanent brain damage That's the best Oh my god What a good spell I imagine like His wife and kids Are just like crying Because

What happened to dad I don't know We gotta put him in a Gotta put him in a home We gotta put We gotta I don't It's what happens

People can just do that to you What a harsh world We live in I'd like to try and cure his strength. Oh, yeah. I thought you were talking about the orc. I'm like, it's not his strength that's gone. I feel such sympathy for this orc I've damaged.

Wah, wah. Oh, God. There's another point of strength. Strength goes down to 16. Oh, fuck. Next. Alright. Periwinkle, just the same as before? I am still bloodlusting, but we're up to another row, aren't we? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

We've got two more rows to do. You can't miss anymore. If you miss, the dragon gets you. Oh, shit. Yeah, we're one turn behind the dragon. All right. You like... At first, your blows were like nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

But then you're like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. You slowly compact your way forward. Yes. Are they all dead? Yep. You're good another round. Two more rounds until the dragon gets here. Two more waves of orcs to kill.

Oh, God. Oh, we're through two. Yeah, we're through two. We got one more wave of orcs. One more wave to go. Yes. Oh, I must have forgotten to count around for the dragon then because you're even with the dragon. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, because you missed a round so that makes you even with the dragon. So we've got one more wave of orcs and then the dragon's behind us.

All right. And some people took disliking to you guys. Oh, no. Fuck me. Well, it's fair. I am just ranting.

But they miss you all. Oh, thank God. That's okay. One orc charges in towards you or like a group of orcs charge in towards you guys But then you hear like Bang bang bang bang bang Like the crack of rifle fire

And they all fall over Gnomes from the other side of the battlefield Formed up into an infantry line And fired Destroying a wave of orcs How are we gonna get out of this? How are we gonna How about the side of the tent?

The tent is on a Now that you're close of the tent? The tent is on a... Now that you're close, you can tell that the tent is on a slight incline hill. And it's kind of like water to one side. Like, melee all around. It's either go back through the melee or try to get into the water. Can I talk to Meat Pie and be like, so what's the best thing around the tent? Is there like a particular area

that just goes straight to the water? There's no one there? Meat pie will need to get back to you. Alright. It'll take them around to assess the area. Bastard. Fucking meat pie. No, I've got a lot of time for meat pie. It's good people. Alright.

Pierce, what do you want to do? Uh, cue a light. Wounds on old mate here. people. Alright. Pierce, what do you want to do? Cure light wounds on old mate here. You recover five hit points. Ten hit points. No. Six.

Wait. Ten. Roll a curse roll. It's a journey. Great. I'm back in a good territory of health I feel. 27? Not really. 50. Great. I'm back in, like, a good territory of health, I feel. 27? Not really.

50 points down. I was one. Better than one. True. You should have spoken in the chat. Jack loves the one hit point party. Wow, being a one hit point. It's a rush, man.

Well, I have to admit, I was worried I was going to die. It's so exciting being a one hit point because you're like... Go either way. Go either way. I'm living on the knife edge, motherfucker. No, I prefer to be on zero and staggered. The very first Sans fans game we ever did, I ended up with a spear through my throat, staggered,

and I could only do one move at a time. It's so great to be like, oh, God. Oh, God, every move could kill me. You can do two moves, but if you do both of them, then you go to negative one. It's your last action, basically. Alright, so.

I want to try and kill him. You are so tenuously close to the tent. You can see it. You could throw a rock at it from where you are. There's just like a light smattering of orcs still here. Just orcs who have been holding up the back, trying to

either guide the others or keeping themselves safe. Safe or ready or whatever. Just like the auxiliary orcs, basically, for whatever reason. Did Zammack get a heal check to fix that strength? Well, this is the new turn.

Oh, okay, yeah, cool, cool. You got the heal. He's going to do his heal check. No. Your strength goes down to 50. Fuck. And you have to battle your way through one last line of orcs.

As the dragon has entered the fight, and it is not engaging with anyone, it's just stepping its way forward. In one step, the dragon covers as much distance as you guys did in four rounds. Oh god.

Okay. So, is there a chance we could wait for the dragon to kill these orcs? Or would it kill us? You're getting weaker. You make no progress. So, is there a chance we could wait for the dragon to kill these orcs? Or would it kill us? Kill us. Get us. You're getting weaker. You make no progress. God.

The dragon... Wait, did I kill no one? No one. Fuck. The dragon steps over you. Like, everything goes dark. The moon goes out when the dragon's giant... The moons go out when the dragon's giant paw flies over you guys.

Highs or lows? I'll let you take this one, Samit. It's all on you, buddy. Lows. The dragon steps exactly around you guys. Oh, my're the cameraman in godzilla the poor comes down and it's like you ever seen buster keaton go through that window yeah yeah yeah each of the dragon's fingers or like toes or whatever is around you guys. You look at each other from in between the toes. The dragon

has crushed the three orcs. You need to get through. You can just charge forward now if you will. Charge forward. Charge forward. Charge forward. We're gonna have one round to get that weapon out. You burst into the tent.

A mad, awful fight is happening in front of you. Two dwarves are hanging off this giant orc who's trying to wade his way through notes. Oh, God. The orc has a round... Hang on, let me check. Adam's taken out a leather-bound tome. We're in trouble when he's got the leather-bound tome.

Are we going to finally learn satanic powers like all of those dockers from the 80s promised me we would? We've been doing this for how many years and Adam hasn't let us in? It's a male orc. Okay. And he's wading through gnomes with two dwarves hanging off each arm. In his hand, he has clutched just a leather bag. Okay.

That... Periwinkle, you do not know magic very well. That's why you're wearing bee armor. Correct. Not a great line. Leo and Greg Pierce, you both know, or you are able to identify a bag of magical holding when you see one. So this bag, while it is only maybe the size of a small satchel bag, you

know that inside it could be the size of a room and could contain any number of massive things. That's how you get it out, right. Of course, that makes sense. What a fucking idiot. Didn't think of that. The orc picks up one of the dwarves and crushes a gnome with him.

Right. Alright. What would you like to do? Who's up? Hawke picks up one of the dwarves and crushes a gnome with him. Right. All right. What would you like to do? Who's up? Oh, Greg Pierce will say. Fascinate. I'll try and grab it.

I'm going to get him to throw it to me. None of them are listening to you. Between the fact that they all consider you hostile, there's a fight happening, and they're just like, no, fight them. That's my round, yeah? But, no, actually

they just can't pay attention to you in the middle of a combat. The fascinatability does not work when you're fighting. Okay, in that case, confusion. You can only confuse one. The big orc, holding the bag at him. Duh! You can only confuse one. The big orc. Holding the bag, Adam. Duh.

I feel like the logic is sound. So, do you have regular confusion or just lesser? I have regular and lesser. Oh, you have regular still? What level of spell is that? One? It's third. Oh, third.

Oh, you have to use your third. I have two third level spells. And this is me done for third level spells. It's so easy. Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Well, he fails. The same thing happens. His pupils turn into pinpricks. He gets that vague purple glow behind his eyes.

I'm going to grace the floor. He picks up a gnome and crushes another gnome with it. You think you got one of the attack ones. Fuck. Is this regular confusion, though? Yeah. Every round it's a different thing. Oh, cool.

Every round I reroll. Awesome. Well, that's right. He's killing the people that we have to get to. Yeah, I mean, it's all right. It works. I'll call it as you now. Can I try to get my own strength back?

Sorry? Can I try to get my own strength back? Yeah, you can certainly try. I'm going to do that because these guys seem to probably be fighting, so I'm going to try to get my own strength back sorry can I try to get my own strength back yeah you can certainly try I'm going to do that because these guys seem to probably they're fighting so I'm going to try

to get my own strength back finally hey oh thank god you are able to like I'm so sorry I just don't know what I'm doing

for some reason I imagined it just pushing a hood into your back yeah yeah sure you're able to like push

just force muscle back into you just your sheer will your strength is still 15 but it'll slowly come back into you. Just your sheer will. Your strength is still 15, but it'll slowly come back to you over the course of days. Just like Jack's constitution will slowly come back to him.

Alright. Thanks for nothing. Shadow boy. So, can I get to the orc this round? Yeah, you can, but you gotta like shove past gnomes and climb off him. Grease the floor. Alright, you wanna do that? Yes., but you've got to shove past gnomes and climb up and... Grease the floor! Alright, you want to do that?

Yes. Alright, you cast Grease. Grease the floor! What does Scatter Spray do? Scatter Spray launches small items in you in a burst arc. Nah, Grease the floor. Alright.

Grease the floor! Meeply! What's going on? Dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon Dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon The gnomes All of them fall Topple over But the orc holds the bag up aloft

Sorry I think he's confused That's babbling Yeah Let's hope so Unless he comes and attacks me In which case Shit The orc holds the bag aloft

So that one dwarf is, like, hanging in the opposite direction off the other arm. And the orc starts... Yes! We have one round of this. Dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon! The tent crunches inwards. Have you ever seen Melody?

Maybe you guys all have. But, Handsome Tom, have you ever seen Melody very you guys all have But Handsome Tom have you ever seen Melody Very gingerly and carefully Melody as Amidstock Very gingerly very carefully Take a treat from someone's hand Yes You will never feel those teeth

She does not touch your fingers She's just very She did it to me the other day In a similar manner the dragon very carefully carefully grabs all of the orc's arm and tears it off. No. Motherfucker. Motherfucker. Boom.

All of you, no roll. You're just bowled over when the dragon's mighty wings unfurl and it takes off. Motherfucker. Right. Yep. You mean I punched all of those people for nothing. That's a very typical... We made.

That's, yep. Killed so many for... Well, to the sea then. To the sea. To the sea. All three of you run past. There's no one blocking your way towards the sea. You just dive into the water off the docks

Oh, do you want to go with Periwinkle? Yeah, I'm coming with them They're going after the weapon Fucking hell I get to fight him for it later I think I might win Will Periwinkle fight piss on their swim back to the city? Find out next time on

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