D&D is For Nerds - Northern Bounty #1 Hiding Halfling

Episode Date: January 31, 2017

In which our heroes introduce themselves after a lot of non-sequiturs. Chet goes through the colours he can be, Trissa is wearing a lot of armour and D-aryl has a vicious halberd. Want to help support the show? Patreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradio Want to get in contact with us? Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.com Facebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadio Reddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradio Or individually at; Jackson: twitter.com/Alldogsaredead Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetype Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, Mama always said, look first before you leap, but gosh darn, I've never done that. to our $5 plus supporters on Patreon. Just head to patreon.com slash sanspantsradio or follow the link in the show notes and help support the show. And before we start this new campaign, in case you missed it, this is Ali's last time at the D&D table with us. She has found steady employment and will be pinching the bums of her new colleagues instead of a grieving father and husband. Man, we were not great people to Dustin. Anyways, this campaign is the result of the art competition that we had

all the way back at the tail end of Season 1, where the winners helped design the story, who we fought, the class roles we had, and so on, with this campaign being designed in part by Ralph from Cake Boss, who sculpted our bumbling heroes out of chocolate.

Like an actual hero. So a big thank you to Ralph Atanasia, Amanda Lanford, Kim Winters, Alex Telfer, Rex Francis, Garden of Lee, Jesse Powers, and everyone else that sent in some amazing art of the show. It was a hell of a lot of fun seeing everyone's different variations of the characters that we should probably do again. So, with that said, we hope you enjoy Northern Bounty. Welcome to Chapter 1 of Northern Bounty, a D&D is for Nerds side quest adventure. So you guys are north, pretty much as far north as you can get, while still, you know, not being at the North Pole. Alright. can get while still you know not being at the north pole all right you're way past a place

called if you guys want to have a look at the map i do summer's pass oh that sounds nice so past summer's pass summer's not oh i see summer's pass is so named in that during summer the ice melts and you can walk to sorry when it is winter you can walk to the North Pole from the northern continent. When it's summer, all that melts and you, well, ships can pass through. So, summer's pass. Cool. That's cool. So, it's freezing.

Yes. Right now, it's basically coming on winter. So, the summer's pass has just recently started to freeze. On winter, so the summer's past has just recently started to freeze. You probably had a bit of a treacherous voyage up there, but now you're on the other side of it. All three of you are bounty hunters chasing a rather lucrative bounty by the name of Ichvar Ramkhal, a halfling sorcerer. Shotgun, not writing it down. Ichvar. That sounds hard.

Halfling sorcerer. Shotgun not writing it down. Ichika. That sounds hard. I-C-H-V-A-R. Ramkal. R-I-M-K-A-L. Ichi Rami.

Ichi Rami. Ichika Vamra. Okay. A halfling sorcerer wanted by the island city nation of Karsri as a illegal sorcerer. Karsri. Karsri. Sorcery. It's illegal. Wizarding. Fine. Don an illegal sorcerer. Carcery. Sorcery. It's illegal. Wizarding, fine.

Don't be sorcery. The bounty is only for him alive. You can't bring him back dead. He needs to be alive. Quick question. If we do kill him by accident, we die. Will they come after us? Or just not get paid?

We just won't get paid. We just won't get paid. We just won't get paid. Yeah, we hit him. He's like a bomb. He will blow up. No, she was saying like if we kill him, does carcerary come after us? Yeah. It's like speed. But I do kind of like his interpretation.

Like I'm stupider, but it's good. Okay. All right. Okay. Like, I'm stupider, but it's good. Okay. All right. Okay.

So, yeah. So, a very difficult bounty, bringing him literally from the other side of the world alive, as a sorcerer especially. But, if you can manage to do it, a hot one million gold pieces. Ah! That's amazing. One million gold. Jesus. That's amazing One million gold Jesus That's a lot

Will they give it to us in like In copper Just to piss us off They'll probably pay No they'll probably pay you in diamonds They'll have to pay us in One million gold written in gold What?

Like you moulded the gold It'll be so heavy Put it on a little cart. We'd be fine. Chip a bit off. Whenever Adam says, like, you're going to get paid in diamonds, I'm like, ooh, this is some fancy shit. Whenever Adam says you're going to get paid in diamonds.

You said it once before, and I remember it. Like, what's the pay for this hit? Diamonds. Diamonds. I mean, just one. Worth like 10 gold. You've managed to track him down to a hideout way, way far north, like I said. There's this rock essentially poking out of the ice, and in it is a very shallow cave.

But you know from tracking him, you know that he is in there, and you've also seen three other sets of tracks enter this cave. And you've also seen three other sets of tracks enter this cave. Okay. Two of the sets of tracks you know are humanoid, some sort of roughly human-sized shaped creature. Cool. The third one is wolf tracks, but you can't place what type of, well, I should say specifically lupine tracks. So you can't place lupine or canine.

It could be any different kind of wolf. We don't know. It could even be like a big cat, it's hard to tell. But a big cat is unlikely. We're not that great at track. It's a big cat, it's a dog, maybe it's a horse, I don't know. Walrus, yeah. You're settled outside of the

little ways outside of the cave. Snow is lightly starting to fall down around you and you begin making your plans. Who are you? Alright, I'll go first. My name is De Errol. I am a half-elf

barbarian. I cannot read or write, but that is okay because I have a very big halberd. It's vicious as well. Your plus one vicious halberd means that when you hit someone or when you attack, you can choose to do an extra 2d6 damage to your enemy, but you take a d6 damage when you do it.

Oh, that's all right. Oh, boy. That is vicious. It hurts me, but fuck you. How many hit points do you get? Like 75. You'll be all right, mate. So you also, as a barbarian, have the rage ability.

So the way I always write it down for players is wherever you see brackets, that's what it changes to when you're raging. So when you rage, your hit points go up, your strength goes up, your constitution goes up. Your armor class goes down. You become a lot easier to hit because you throw caution to the wind. I'm wearing a chain chute. Can that be styled like a singlet?

No. It kind of is, though, yeah. Chilly against your nipples. Oh, that's good. Singlet and, like, maybe a rug over the top of me. You're wearing cold weather gear, so not heavy furs, but good insulating clothing. All right then. All right. weather gear, so not heavy furs, but good insulating clothing.

All right then. All right. And I have power attack and cleave, I think is what I've got. Good as. Yep. So power attack allows you to lose points from your less likely to hit, more damage when you do it, though. Awesome.

And then cleave means that if you kill an enemy with one of your blows, you can keep going and hit another enemy. That's very good. What else do you want to know? I'm six foot in height. I'm a tall boy. I weigh 200 kilos. No, pounds, which is pretty big for a half-elf.

So I like to imagine me big, muscular, like, shoulders and shit. You're bulking, man. And a big, like, pasta-filled tummy. A lot of protein. A lot of overhang. No, no, no. A lot of carbs. No, no, a lot of pasta. A lot of overhang. No, no, no. A lot of carbs. No, no.

A lot of pasta. A lot of carbs, breads, a lot of heavy creams. That is what I like. How many heavy creams are there in this winter wonderland? A bit of like heavy seal milk. Yeah, just put that on everything. Put the seal milk in my soup. They'd have a sort of buffalo or some sort of heavy shag.

It wouldn't be cow cream, but it wouldn't be seal cream either. We've butchered this seal. What do you want to do with this blubber? You'll have it. It's mine. No, give me. We call it a seal. I'll have the cream.

Give me the cream. You mean the blubber? Whatever. I'll take the cream from it. Anything else you want to know about me, Adam? Or anyone else? No, are there any finishing touches you'd like to say about yourself? Not yet. I will probably come up with something during the thing.

Did you mention your race? Half-elf. Half-elf. Health. Health. Health. No, that's not what they're called. It's not full-elf. It's not health. It's elf and half elf The canon name for our people is health I'm a health

I was taught good I just like Every single adventure we ever have I'm like non-canon Oh we're good at cooking I think You decided? You're going to be our cook? You can say you're good at cooking, I think You decided? You're going to be our cook? Yes

Oh, we're all going to get suffused You can say you're good at cooking But you have no points in it And it is governed by the intelligence What's your intelligence, David? I'm very good at cooking It is my lowest stat Actually, your survival is pretty high

And that would also relate Yeah, you'll cook us a fine meal If you are cooking specifically in the outdoors you're a good cook give you a stove and you're fucking up you can't fuck up meat that bad can you yeah i guess you can uh jackson would you like to go next my name is chat faker like the musician like the singer-songwriter I'm a half-orc bard And I Instead of music

I use comedy I'm a hawk H-O-R-K We've got a hawk We've got a hawk A health You looked me right in the eyes just then Jackson As if to say Yes Adam, fuck you

This is occurring Try and fight me I use comedy instead of instruments To do my barding So good luck to me with that I guess What else have I got I got a longsword, I got a crossbow I got orcish powers

Yeah Bit of an alcoholic, other than that. You have a cloak of charisma. So your cloak wrapped around you boosts your charismatic effect. You also have the wand of cure light wounds. How many uses? 50 uses.

Oh, that's good. You and I will be marking them down together because I don't know if I trust you to mark properly. Don't. I won't. No, fair. You also have yeah you'll have your long sword and leather armor are both magically enhanced but no magical special abilities lay upon them like you don't have vicious like zam yeah yeah what colors can orcs be uh mostly different shades green, but you can also get shades of black or white or greys.

Get lost in the snow. White orc. White orc with dark jet black hair. Done. What colours can half elves be? The elves. Give me some health colours, Adam. Wait, hang on. A half elf's hairy? I'm hairy. I'm hairy as shit. Well, it depends mostly whether

you take most of your heritage from your humanity or from your elvenity. I want to basically, because elves are very, you know, they're kind of androgynous looking kind of thing. So that, so very twink-like, but body hair like a bear. What? Body of a twink, hair of a bear. Yep. Super simple, Adam. Whatever. So like a twink, hair of a bear. Yep. Super simple, Adam. Whatever.

So like a twinkish otter, I guess. Yeah, a twatter. A twatter. See what I'm saying, Adam? Ali, it's your turn. All right. I will be playing the character of Trissa Brinov, a little gnome fighter. I'm a solid three foot, which is not that much shorter than

Ali's actual height I weigh 30 pounds I have a shield I don't know what that means You have a tower shield What the fuck That's even better Wait no

Yeah no it's a tower shield That means it's like as big as you basically Can she use it like a sled? Can I? Yeah. We're going to pull stuff on your sled shield. I mean, it's not what it's designed to.

We can push you. We're strong boys. And I am tiny. I also have a sword catcher, which I presume is some sort of sheath that I run around catching swords in. It's like Pokemon. You've got to collect them all. I throw them out. It opens up, catches a sword, wiggles three times, then stars come out,

and suddenly I have extra swords. Yeah, yeah. Right, Adam? I only have six swords at once. I can't see Adam because of the way it's set up, but I saw his hand go to his face, and then he just slumped forward. Well, I asked Adam to explain this before we started recording,

and he said, I don't want to explain it twice. So we made it difficult. Go on. The joke is I'll need to explain it before we started recording, and he said, I don't want to explain it twice. So we made it difficult. Go on. The joke is I'll need to explain it twice because your fuckers will forget. Correct. So, Trissa, you are, first off, wearing battle plate. Sounds intense. It's a plate he used to fight with.

Exotic heavy armor made of reinforced metal plates and a layer of padding underneath that. Instead of having... Is it heavy? Golly, yes. Oh, okay. Man, it's really cumbersome. Your movement speed is 10 feet. Is that the one we used in the live show?

Yes. Awesome. You had double sets of armor. No, it was the same one, isn't it? Yeah. Battle plate, I believe, was the one you used at the live show from memory. Although, specifically at the live show, your Battleplate was a little bit more magical than Ali's is.

So mine, because I think yours was magic, so it didn't feel heavy. Oh, no, equally. It's like basically the same set, except Triss's is sized for a gnome as opposed to an orc, I think you were. I forget exactly. You might have been an orc. I was a hawk again. No, I was a fork.

A fork. Anyway. Let's have an adventure. All right, let's do it. Let's use our minds to imagine. Wait, what does sword stealing do again? I think that was the question. I actually wasn't done.

I literally just tangent upon tangent upon tangent. So there's the battle plate. There's the slightly enhanced magical tower shield. So a tower shield is literally as big as you are, Trissa. It completely covers you. You can use it sort of okay in combat, or you can set it down and you can use it as cover if you're being attacked. That's sick.

You also have a cloak of resistance. So the cloak sitting around you improves your reflex, your fortitude, and your willpower. I will need that. And finally, yes, you have the gnomish sword catcher, as it's referred to as. Uh-huh. What's the red ninja turtle? Raphael. Raphael.

You know Raphael's weapons? Sai. Sai. Imagine a Sai, but the middle prong is a short sword. Oh, cool. Like a trident. Oh, I know what that is. Like Electra. It'd be too hard to show you a picture,

but like Electra? Yes, got it. I understand. Oh, that's sick. How big is it? The gnomish sword, it's only about as long as your forearm. All right. So the gnomish sword catcher is designed to catch swords. You get a plus four.

That makes so much sense. Bonus to disarm people. You're a good disarming little baby. Cool. I'm not a baby. You are three feet tall. I am very tall. As far as the world is concerned, you are,

and you are three years old as far as the world is concerned. My next question was going to be how old I am, but does it have age on here? There's probably a second. Oh, there might not be a second. I'll be young because I'm an orc. Oh, it says looks. This is where I get to write in positive things about myself.

One time I wrote Aben. I just wrote Twinkish Otter. I think that sums it up real good. Looks. Adorable. Tired. All right. Let's go, Adam.

Okay, let's have an adventure. Like I said, you're standing there in the light snow. What would you like to do? You can approach the shallow cave if you want. Before we do that, I'm going to ask, potentially a stupid question, do we have anything to catch a wizard? I have shackles.

Because I think I have something. Quick question. Shackles and rope. With catching alive, do we need his hands intact? Don't remember. Follow the manacles you do. No, because like he's a wizard. We can manacle it. We can tie him

up in a net. Are you talking about cutting his hands off? Can we try and remember how intact they want him? I'm just curious. Like, as a bounty hunter, how do you catch a wizard who does stuff with magical hands and mail? I believe, Jackson, I might not have written it specifically, but you have a set of manacles,

right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, those are specifically finger manacles. If you cuff him with those, he can't cast spells, unless he gets out of the manacles. All right, then. Okay, then. Paralyze him, put the manacles on him, take him home. Got you. Put him in a box if we need.

A big box. Right, big box. Okay. Build a box, put him in a box. Chain off the box. Then, big box. Okay, build a box. Put him in a box. Chain off the box. Then kick it in the river. And take him home. No, no.

Take him home. Do we want to make a quick... Who's the makeshift leader of this ragtag group? Ah, shuck a nut. You with a face. I'm an idiot. You are. Bods do tend to be the default leader. I'm an idiot. You are. Bards do tend to be the default leader.

I can't read or write. I don't want anyone to know this. Don't tell anybody. You're just... Everyone. Was he with anybody when we were tracking him earlier? He was alone when you... Thus far up until this point,

he hasn't had contact as far as you're aware with anyone. That's the closest town? The closest town is... I'm trying to figure out if I can figure where these people are from, if we saw any other signs of civilization. You came here... Well, you traveled north out of the town of Valhaven, which is the smallest settlement around.

It's a town of maybe... You were only there for minutes, scant minutes, just to find out where your target was heading. But you would imagine it to be a town of maybe 50 people. Okay. Well, how big is the cave? Well, it's hard to tell.

You can tell definitely that it's shallow. If the cave extends all throughout this, you know, massive stone sticking out of the ground, then the cave would probably be maybe 30 feet deep. So not very deep. Does he know we're tracking him? I assume he is. He knows he's on the run. So he might not necessarily be expecting you,

he might not be necessarily expecting someone hitting him now, but he knows that someone is tracking him. Chances are we are probably not going to give element of surprise because there's only one entrance. I say we just go in there careful. Throne. What if?

Yes. Because the cave only has one entrance. Yes. He can't live in a cave his whole life. We can't wait outside all life. True. All life. Can we smoke him out?

Could we smoke him out? Yeah. You haven't any firewood, and there does not appear to be any trees in this hellish, cold, barren hellscape. Barren wasteland. Some people believe that if you travel far enough north, you actually leave the material plane and enter a plane of endless ice

around where the North Pole is. I don't know if you guys are... Well, it's not really superstition. Like, you live in a world where a god prays... Someone prays to a god. And things happen. Yeah, things happen. So...

Maybe. It's almost science that if you travel to the North Pole, you leave the material plane and head to another world. No fear. Question. Who here also, as well as me also has a potions of invisibility I have two

I just got a cue of light wounds that's not useful I have cue of light wounds as well you could have said no we got you excited and then we shut you down

okay plan yes me and Darl drink the potions of invisibility because I'm little? You're little, you hide

Okay Then we have the element of surprising Okay Where do I hide? It's dark in there Turn off your torch Me and you drink a potion Send Trisha down

They think, oh, only little shit know him She go in We're like behind them They're like, ha ha, we attack We stab him in the face with respective sword and halberd. You have a brilliant, you've got a brilliant strategic mind.

Good plan. So, should I pretend to need help? Nah, just be your like normal self. Sorry, can you run this by me again? It's a dumb plan. No, I, sorry, I tuned out for just a second You guys sometimes you talk and I'm like

Wow, wow, wow I'm just not listening So me and Daryl drink potions of invisibility And you're gonna have someone out here In the middle of literally Practically nowhere Maybe in another plane of existence No, no, no, no, no, no

We get Trissa to go into the cave with us following behind Invisible. She's like, oh, it's just me, a little gnome. And then we attack. The nearest people are like a day away. It's quite a lie, is what I'm saying. Quite a lie she's going to have to tell. Oh, no, no, no.

We're not trying to trick them into being like she needs help she's there to attack but it's just like oh there's only one of them that's easy to take okay because you know they're probably going to attack on site yeah but then they're going to attack her and she got a good shield okay no no okay cool cool i was just making sure and then we're gonna be like plan wasn't to gain their trust slowly by pretending to be a damsel in distress or something. No, no, no. No, she gnome. Who wants to rescue gnome? Hey, some people

like gnomes. I don't know who, but someone does. I guess them gnomes like gnomes. That makes sense. I chug my invisibility potion. Give me one. I throw it to him. I chug that. I don't remember how long this lasts for, so we've got to be quick. Well, how about we go to the entrance first and then drink?

A few minutes. We're at the entrance. You're near the entrance. Okay. A couple steps will take you there. Then we'll do that. You take point. We will make noise if you need us.

You will make noise? Or I will make noise. No, we didn't make noise. You will make noise. If we needed you, why would you make the noise? I got confused. I thought you were saying you make noise if you need me. No, no, no.

I wasn't. We're going to be there. Just go forward. We're behind you. Okay, all right. Drink, drink, drink. I wander on in with my sword catcher slightly hidden behind my giant shield. You don't need to hide.

Oh, yeah. We're being very aggressive here. I'll just still be quiet, though. I don't know why. Well, it's good. We don't want to. What if there's a bear? At Good Day's Tracks, bear, seal, dog, horse.

Giant cat. Car. A sled? I think it was a shark. We're in pisky land sharks. Anyway, yeah, we're good. All right, we've riffed our rift. Hold on.

What's a land shark? It's like a shark in land. I'm just going to make some rolls while you guys are using this. While we explain land shark. A joke, Ali. I made a joke. So you know how, in general, sharks exist within the sea? Yeah, and how we're bad at tracking.

So we were like, he was like, it's a shark. And I was like, yes, one of them pisky land sharks. Okay, I thought it was like a well lizard. No, no, no. Okay, all right, all right. Well lizard's totally different. Goodness, Ali. Well lizard's just another name for a crocodile.

That's what I thought. I was like, oh, land shark. Maybe you thought about a seal. What are those things that look like land sharks? Like a bull arc or something like that? There's a D&D thing that looks like a land shark. That's awesome. A bull rat.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's adorable. I love it. Yeah, those things are cool. I like them. So I guess they're kind of like a land shark. You can get them as mounts, which is very funny because they're burrowing creatures. Aww.

But burrowing... Imagine like a fish swims through water. That's how they move through rock. So riding one, When it does that Do you just get squished up against the roof of the tunnel? Technically there's no rules to say what happens It'd be just like rock smacking the mouth You'd be choking on rock

Come out just dead Like when it emerged from the earth It's hunkered down real close Well anyway let me know when you guys are done We're done Okay so It's hunkered down real close Well anyway, let me know when you guys are done We're done Okay, so Trissa, you charge in first And you see a small campfire

Well, it's not a campfire It's a small attempt At a campfire In the cave, it's a little less shallow Than what you were maybe hoping Or expecting It's only 20 feet deep. But up the other end, hunched, clutching his robes very tight, is your supposed target.

Just him? Well, I wasn't actually done. Oh, well, you took a pause and I thought you wanted my input. I was going to look up his name. Oh, okay. Ichvar. Ichvar. Ichvara. Ichram. What? That's what I remember. Bikram yoga. wanted my input i was gonna look up his name oh okay it's far it's your camera it's ram what

that's what i remember bikram yoga additionally a two other tall humanoid figures they're wearing nice looking furs and they're armed to the teeth bows and arrows axes shields They look ready for a fight. Their eyes glow a dull blue, and their skin looks like it's roughed out of ice. What the fuck? What the fuck? The fuck is this, I think? They look like Iceman. Not Iceman.

Bobby Drake, the Iceman? I don't know that reference. Right. Trissa. Play X-Men. Trissa, you know who these are. Frostfolk are an isolated and xenophobic race descended from humans who struck a bargain with the gods of winter.

Oh, shit. Fucking Frostfolk. Because originally I thought like, oh, I'll just tell him like, stand down, come quietly, and then you'll survive. And then I realized that there was two other people and I I thought, oh, no, it's three against one, because I forgot about you two. We disappear. It's actually four.

I'm not even finished describing what's in this fucking room. That plan we just thought, yeah. Whoa, Frostfolk are cool. He's got a sick shield. Ali, I'm going to move it around for you. I have glasses. Bring it down. How do you not see you're wearing glasses?

Oh, my fucking God. They look pretty cool. I'll describe them. I'll describe them. That's why I actually showed you guys. I know. I know. So imagine, you ever seen that?

It's a classic ad from the 80s, and it's this Native American man, and he picks up litter. Oh, yeah. And he has a tear. Imagine that guy, but dressed like one of the wildlings from Game of Thrones. He's holding a big stick, like a pick. It kind of reminds me of an anteater. That's supposedly a battle axe.

It looks like an anteater head on a stick. And he looks real big, and he's got white hair. There you go, Adam, my handsome friend. Additionally, the Frost Folk appear to have on like a harness as if it were a dog. Oh, cool. One of these. Oh, that's sick. The white one or the brown one?

The white one. Big old white wolf. It's a winter wolf, it says. I can see that from here. The Frost Folk just look like if, you know, the White Walkers. Were well-dressed. Were well-dressed, yeah. Less icy, though. Like, you know how the White Walkers. Were well-dressed. Were well-dressed, yeah. Less icy, though.

Like, you know how the White Walkers are a little icy? And less zombified, I guess. Yeah, okay. There's kind of two types of White Walkers, I guess. Like the zombie ones and the non-zombie ones. Adam? So, in summary, Ixvar, huddled in the corner, clutching his robes. Standing over him, almost menacing him, are the two Frostfolk.

And on a lead is a white wolf that you actually, none of you guys know what is. Alright. Trissa, you... Have they noticed? They noticed, yeah. You aren't quiet. So the Frostfolk were over

Ichikawa yelling. As if they were not saying anything, but it looked like an intimidating sort of stance. Ahaman. As if they were not saying anything, but it looked like an intimidating sort of stance. Okay, so they weren't saying anything. Maybe they're bounty hunters. Maybe. I mean, let's not assume. Or this is their home, and he's just like,

I'm just going to crash here. And they're like, mate, you've been here for four days, and you haven't done any of the dishes. Are you staying here for a while or not? Are you going to pay rent? In our case. Do the Frost Folk look threatening to us? Like when they turn, they see Trisha. They don't look like they're pleased to see you.

Do they look like they're about to fight us? They probably had their weapons sheathed, but when they see you, they start to draw weapons. Okay. All right. I'm just going to... Yeah, all right. Wait. See what happens.

I'll look at them and say... Oh, are you... Oh, okay you oh okay where do they attack you i'm sorry i assumed we were in combat right now oh i missed my one-liner never mind you can have your one-liner i was no i wasted keep your one-liner in your pocket there for if you ever need it when you find a one-liner pick it up and all day you'll have good luck. So I guess they charge. I'd like to... Plunk down your tower shield. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I'm sure that's exactly how it goes.

And we are invisible, so they just attack that one. How did we just go? So, Tristan, you set down your tower shield, and then you hear... Plunk! Plunk! The two Frostfolk just slam into your shield your tower shield and then you hear the two Frostfolk just slam into your shield and are unable to land a single hit

on you. Are they running? Do they run or do they fight arrows? No, they both charge you. They draw their battle axes and attack at you, but they can't get around your massive shield. Can I sneak out of the shield? If I leave the shield there shield? They've noticed that.

If I leave the shield there, it's crawling around behind. There's no way they would not notice that. Okay, okay, okay. I'm not done yet. Uh-oh. The wolf and the ifka. Ishka ram. Ikvar.

Itchy ram. Itchy ram. As if you got a ram and you took its wool and made it into a jumper and it was itchy. The wolf stalks around, Trissa, to your side, opens its mouth and then a burst of cold air, far colder than the world around you right now, buffets you. Can I just say, you guys are jerks. I didn't get a chance in a one-liner.

I haven't had a chance to attack. I've had three people attack me and only me. It was a good plan. That's just why we do what we do. You are tough, boy, now. Not much like this. I'm three foot. I'm 30 pounds.

You're very tough. You're very tough. Three foot, 30 pounds of fury. That's what you are. Yeah, because I'm mad at you two. Get out your anger on the Frostfolk and the Hulves. Of course I will, because I can't see you Trissa, you take 15 points of damage

When the cold air buffets you Chilly Then, finally I take cold damage as well, do I? Is that a thing? Did I just make it up? Yeah, you take cold damage 15 points of cold damage Not extra cold damage

Yeah, the damage that was dealt to you is cold Then you take some points of fire damage. Presumably, as Ikvar leaps to his feet and bursts and casts a magical bolt of fire at you. At the very least, now you'll be warm. Will Ikvar firebolt and escape? Find out next time on Northern Bounty, a D&D is for Nerds side quest adventure.

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