D&D is For Nerds - Northern Bounty #3 Buffeted by Snow

Episode Date: February 7, 2017

In which our heroes slowly realise they’re stuck in town. Chet is frightened about Yucks, Trissa gets points for trying and D'aryl needs to say the right words if he wants the right coats.Want to help support the show?Patreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadAdam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio. Brooklyn Nine-Nine's a pretty good show, thank you very much. Welcome to Chapter 3 of Northern Bounty, a D&D is for Nerd side quest adventure. Previously. The Winter Wolf turns around, uh, da arrow, and snaps at you. When you say disarm, you mean cut off the hand? No, I'm... so you've got the sword catching, yeah? Of course! cut off their hair.

No, so you've got the sword catching, yeah? Of course! You're selected to be the just lord queen of the doofuses. So, Frostfolk dead, Winterwolf dead,

Ickfar is being bound as we speak. We manacle up his hands. Then we get a blanket, wrap it around him, get our rope, silk, tie up the blanket

around him like a sausage roll. Then you get another manacle, tie up his feet. Yep. And then another manacle on his fingers, I guess. Perfect. I was going to catch you on the fingers.

No, you had a finger manacle. Yeah, that's good. We got a grip. Beginning of the next day, you arrive at town. Oh, and by the time you arrive at town as well, the snow is very heavy. All right, we'll have to be warm. Welcome. My name is Hob Hamlin.

I'm the curator or the proprietor of this establishment. Passing through, he says? Yes. You're a friend. He's not going to cause any trouble. Not if we put him in a box. Chet, you open the door to the tavern with the intent of searching around town for a box to put Ikvar in. You step outside.

Immediately, you regret your decision. The storm has gotten... It's too cold! The storm has gotten even worse than before. Huh. You got what, did you? It's okay. Let me get...

How many blankets you got? Wrap him up good. He goes and fetches you some blankets. No, wait. Forget that. You got a barrel. He fetches... Don't bring him in the barrel.

He gets an empty barrel. We'll put him in the barrel. It's an empty barrel. Put him in a barrel. It's a good idea. Chuck him in a barrel. Give him some ear holes. Yeah. You might want to keep an eye on the weather if you want to go outside. These blind storms, they get worse and good and worse and good.

It's always going to be very cold outside, but you'll get pockets of, I don't want to say niceness, but you'll get pockets of when it isn't going to kill you with the cold. Fair enough. So how much for a couple of rooms for a couple of days? Look, I'll tell you what. Like I did with the honey mead, I give you the first night for free. But like I said, I think you're going to want to get going as soon as possible.

I agree, but I just don't know how long this storm is going to be. I'll give you the first night free so you can rest, assess your situation, and then you can move from there. All right. Thank you very much, Hob. All right. Next stop is maybe Blacksmith or General Store. It's very cold outside. Too cold for me.

All right. Let's just wait a little bit till the storm is possible. Then we should go on to Blacksmith. Also, if we've got him in a barrel, do we need a box? I couldn't tell you. I don't know.. I don't know. I honestly don't know the purpose of the barrel or box. Either way, he's going to have enough room.

Basically, imagine leaving him unattended. That's essentially what you're doing. He's still manacled. Yeah, but you can't physically see what he's doing anymore. That's fine. What I want to do is go to Blacksmith, maybe get the manacles, like, extra manacle, like, welder door shit or something,

so he can't break out of him at all. Like, just to make sure. I don't know if there's anything better than masterwork. I don't know if there's anything better than a box, but okay. Masterwork box. Masterwork box, put him in. Is there, like, windows where we can see the state of the storm? Yeah, you can see out into the storm.

Does it look like we're in a little nice spot? It's hard to tell. It's just pure white at the moment. When I went outside, was it just like, nope, not going to work that cold? Give me the map of the town again. So from the... I was about to say hospital. From the tavern,

you could... To the blacksmith, you'd be exposed for a while, but you could try it. You're not going to die, but it will be very unpleasant. All right. Oh, enjoy. That's your job. All right.

You keep hold of... Ikvar. Ikvar. And I'll go to the blacksmith. I'll slide into a little table, put Ikvar next to me, and drink. Okay. And it's just you? The arrow going? Yes. Okay. And it's just you? The arrow going?

Yes. Okay. So Tristan, sit with me. As soon as you step out to the cold, you're like, oh God, I hate it. It's just the worst. This is a stupid idea.

And that dickhead over there, he wanted us to leave in this. In the near pure white that is currently happening right now, you can see a glimmer of fire. You imagine that could be either the windows of a building through which a fire is shining,

or, and it seems like an impossibility, but it could be the forge from the blacksmith. All right, try and forge the snow to get to the forge of the blacksmith. Okay. So the light turns out to be the general store. Damn it. You could go past the general store to the blacksmith

or go into the general store. I'll go into the general store and warm up. You're so fucked up. Step into the general store. Damn it. You could go past the general store to the blacksmith or go into the general store. I'll go into the general store and warm up. You sure fucked up. Step into the general store. Oh, jeez. It's not the merchant here, but you imagine

the merchant's son. There's a boy of maybe nine manning the counter. Hello, little fella. How are you? I'm good, thanks. Are you buying anything? Oh, you've got a deep voice

for a nine-year-old. I'm good, thanks. Are you buying anything? Yes, I am, little lady. Jesus. Well, hurry up then. You practicing a ventriloquism gig or something? No, the second voice I did was a joke.

This is my voice. I don't do voices because every time I try, this happens. It fucks up. So I just flit wildly between accents. All right. Unless they're gnomes. It's the only one I like doing. All right.

I'm going to go and just maybe get some rations. So we have a couple of... You also notice heavy... They have a lot here, a lot of heavy fur clothing. You imagine you could wrap it around yourself and be even warmer. Okay. Can I get three, four of them? Two, like a hawk size, a health size four of them? Two, like a

hawk size, a half size, a gnome size, and a huling size. He sells you none of that, because none of that exists. If you want it, say the word. Say the word and I'll give it to you. Half ling size, half hawk size, half elf,

and gnome. Fucking Adam. Also, do you have like a like a hang on winter wolf pelton to get these heavy fur these are the kid behind my counter explains that fur doesn't come from just any animal it needs to come from an animal that can survive these types of cold those furs are hard to get eight gold a piece so if you want four, it's 32 gold pieces, he says. He looks at you dead-eyed. This is a very serious young child.

Hard to get, like Winterwolf? Yeah, Winterwolf is one of the furs. Tell you what, look, I've got a Winterwolf just pelt here. It's just freshly killed. I can't really do anything, but I guess if you're selling these things, you can make something of this. Could we trade? Not a complete trade, but

maybe knock off a little bit of price for... I'll knock off two gold to call it 30 round. Perfect. And you can have this. There you go. Alright. You pay him 30 gold? Of course. Cool. Anything else you want? You see a bunch of other equipment here. You see... Have you ever seen goggles

before? Not at all. What is this? Well, you see things that are goggles, but you do not know what they are. What are they? Those are snow goggles. They prevent snow blindness. Oh, give me one of them. Just one?

Just one? Give me three of them. Ick fucking fucking gold. Six gold, he says. Six gold each? Six gold in total. Done, mate. Tell you what.

Sweet. Bump it up to ten, and I'll sell you some snowshoes. All right. Done, mate. They're kind of shit, and I want to get rid of them. Done, mate. Fair enough.

Great sales. Look, it's fine. Anything, I guess, some rations for a couple weeks? It's 50 silver for a day's rations. Five silver. Golly, I mocked it up just a second there. It's 50 silver for a day's ration. Five silver. Golly, I marked it up just a second there. It's five silver for a day's rations. How many days do you need?

We need three weeks for four people. Three weeks for four people. Tell you what, how much gold do you have? How much gold do you need? I've got a lot of gold. Don't want to tell him this. I don't want to quickly... Okay, I'll quickly do that. I've got a lot of gold. Don't want to tell him this. I don't want to quickly,

okay, I'll quickly do that. I hate Windows 8. Fuck you, Windows 8. I'll just do it on my fucking phone. Okay,

I'll say for the sake of the argument, you guys have probably come here with, you guys have your own equipment and stuff like that and you maybe picked up

some trade goods as well along the way I say maybe even you even pilfered like the equipment that you got from the snow folk oh yeah sorry for us book like they're not that battle axes because she's collecting damn right sure but the other composite longbow that sort of stuff oh yeah so for all that stuff you just get the three weeks worth of rations. Young boy, this isn't your store, is it? It's my dad's store.

All right then. Do you know how long you've been living here all your life? Yeah. Have you seen any kind of storm this bad before? It happens once a winter. Do you know how long these last for? Roughly? He shrugs his shoulders. Could last for maybe a month. A month, you say?

Four. Okay. All right. Is there any way you can get a horse or something? Not a horse, but an amount that we can go through snow. Like in the picture books, he says? A horse? What do you use?

Like a beast of burden? We have yaks and goats and such. Do you have like a yak you can get? A yak? We haven't any for sale. What the fuck is a yak? A yak is a rock.. Do you have like a yak you can get? A yak? We haven't any for sale. What the fuck is a yak? A yak is a rock. You don't know what a yak is.

I'm frightened. Isn't it a yak? No, he said yak. Oh. What is yak? Like in the picture books. I don't know. Like in the picture books, he says.

For the first time, you seem to have knocked his very serious demeanor out of place like in the picture books like he's genuinely surprised you do not know what a yuck is

you're not going to find any beast of burdens in this town he says they all need to be stabled in also you probably just don't want to

take one out into this weather you should wait in about maybe don't leave in a fortnight, I would say. It'd be dangerous to leave

before then. You could lose yourself out in the snow. No, fair enough. What was your name again? My name? Gilly. Gillyweed. Oh, shut up, both of you. Gillyweed butt face.

Nice try, Ali. Ten out of ten for just, okay. Points for our favorite. Nubble. Nubble? Nubble? Nubble. Nubble.

I'm writing that down. I hope he becomes a member of our team. You're a good businessman, Nubble. Back in the tavern, the doors burst open again, and a figure stands in the doorway, silhouetted by the white blinding snow outside. He steps in, and you hear him shaking all the snow off his furs and cloaks and stuff like that.

He falls face forward onto the floor as soon as he does that, and shakes like a dog would to get just all of the snow off him. You finally get a good look at him. Can I see him from where I'm sitting? Or am I facing away from him? I just sat down wherever. I just want to know if I'm going to be like, shut the door. It's cold outside.

Fucking hateful eight shit going on there. Close the door. It's freezing. He steps up and he says, that's stammering some i'm so sorry i'm so sorry let me quickly and then he just i'll just close the door that's right good thank you he closes the door behind him he steps proper in you get a good look at him he's wearing rag tag shitty looking armor made of bits and pieces of other armors he's wearing the holy symbol of some god that neither of you could possibly

place. He looks like a homeless man in some ways. He says, hello, my name is Terrell. I'm a wandering paladin. I didn't ask your name. It's funny because at this point he's stepped right up to you and has a hand stretched out

and you can smell the alcohol on his breath i'm not this why would you i don't own this place or this buck or cub the fellow who owns hob hamlin hub hub there's a customer hub comes back down from downstairs hob greets uh terror so dreadfully sorry he says i'm absolutely terrible about these things i don't want to talk to you. Please go away. You know the feeling I get when you do shit like that? That's it.

That's the one. It hurts. Yep. Physically, you get a pain. It's roughly here, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you're like, I wish I could cut out my heart. You're like, what organ is dying?

Because one of them. What organ is dying and can I cut it out in time. You're like, what organ is dying? Because one of them. What organ is dying? And can I cut it out in time to not feel this anymore? So Tyrell explains that he is a paladin. He tells Hobb this sob story. He's a paladin who's fallen on hard times. And he needs, please just spare me, just butter drink. A single drink of your finest.

He scans the drinks they have. I was like, him one i'll pay for it nah he's dodgy never mind give him water she's right give him water adam i'd like to pay for a water and be like you don't pay for water flick of a silver. He's like, okay. Do you want to pay for a drink? Yeah, but like a cheap one. A cheap one that's not alcoholic? Milk. When you offer to pay, Hob is like, it's fine.

First drink is free. First drink is free for everyone. That's a new rule now. You're weird, Hob. You run things straight. This is not the best way to run a business I'm not running a business I'm running a family That's cute

Let me rephrase that, I'm not running a family I don't have a family I consider the town my family You know what I kind of mean? I didn't even I didn't ask Why is everyone telling me this? Hob and Terrell have both moved over

And they're having the conversation around you Wait I pick up my bag I pick up Ichabod And I move to another table A cold table You were in the conversation Gentlemen

I don't remember ever placing down a sign saying, come talk to me, I want to know what's going on. Hob understands, and he's like, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And he moves off. Terrell thinks it's a bit of a joke, but he also moves off. He gives you a smile and a wink as he leaves. Don't look at me! Not a joke, Terrell!

He makes the terrible joke again. God damn! And it wasn't funny the first. He makes the terrible joke again. God damn. And it wasn't funny the first time. But he does it again. I'm going to turn to Tris. What the fuck? I don't know. Did I give off a vibe or a pheromone?

Yeah, probably. You look very friendly. You're a friendly hawk. You're like, excuse me, I need to have a bath. I need to get the stench of friendliness off me. I don't want to smell like friends. I want to smell like grumpy. Grumpy and unwelcome.

Daryl, is there anything else you'd like to do in the general store? No, I'd like to kind of forge my way to the actual forge. Can I even see the forge from here? No, it's once again white-out conditions outside. You cannot see anything. Fuck this, I'm going back to Tivin. With your new furs, it's actually not, I was about to say pleasant. It's never pleasant.

But you are able to walk and endure the cold without it biting too much at you. But you still can't see. You're nearly, not even your hand in front of your face. Snow goggles. You put the snow goggles on. So now your eyes aren't hurting from the blizzard. The door to the tavern opens and three figures walk in. The first is your good friend Daryl.

But then behind him is a big hulk of a man larger than any of you he's wearing like a fur coat fur like fur everything and you can tell quite obviously because he hasn't looks like he's done it on purpose you can see the wolf heads incorporated into the furs all over the place sick he steps in as well and you can see his he's got the pommel of his sword. It's quite prominent on his side. And it also has a wolf head to the pommel. Alright, John Cena. He fucking loves wolves, I guess.

He walks in, and then finally behind him, walking as if they were together, is a human with... The first thing you notice about him is that he has a necklace made of mummified elf ears. That's fucked up.

He looks like a bounty hunter, like you guys. Hey! You're like, no, what are you... Oh no, you're a half elf, it's fine. I'm fine. You're not going to enjoy it. Nobody's got orc ears. You better get some earmuffs. No, you fucking will get him good. Both the figures who walked in behind D'Arrel

approach the countertop where they can order a drink and such. But the second one, the one with the mummified elf ears, gives D'Arrel the stink eye the entire time. I'm like, what do you want, friendo? What? He shakes his head and says, nothing. Just thinking about a collection I have. D'Arrel.

D'Arrel. Smick you in the middle. D'Arrel. What? Do I look friendly to you? No. No, you look kind of grumpy. I am.

That's what I thought. Hang on, look at me again. No, you've got a smile. You're smiling too much. I don't mean to be. It's a grimace. D'Arrel, you also see the line of three people uh tarot the homeless paladin the guy in all furs and then finally the guy with the mummified elf ears incidentally if you're curious he also has weird looking

goggles on his head not the snow goggles that um thel has. And he has a big bushy moustache. So we've got Cobb. No, that's Hob... Oh, is it Cobb? Hobb? Yeah, I remember. H-O-B. H-O-B. Okay, okay. Hob. Terrible. Terrible. Wolf. Wolfman. What? Can we

ask who they are? You can if you want. To make this easier for our notes. The Wolf man introduces himself as Huck Duffy. Oh, that's a good name. He's the town sheriff. And then the elf ear man is Alexander Telfer. And he says he professionally hunts elves for Husgrath. Shit.

Hang on, half elf. Am I? Let's see what I want to be. I love it when you're like, you know, an hour, two hours into a game and you're like, what do I want to be?

Do I want to be like half elf raised by humans or half elf raised by elves? Flip a coin. Flip this deck. This is rubber. This is razor. The Derwent side of the...

It's Derwent on both sides Just roll a bloody dice We've got enough of it Odds Raised by humans Evens Raised by elves Evens

Raised by elves Can you roll for me? See if I'm raised by orcs Or humans The who-mans Odds Humans Evens

Orcs Evens Orcs What about Ali? Probably gnomes But I'm not sure Who means? Odds, humans Evens, orcs Evens, orcs. Let's try this by orcs, rock and roll What about Ali? Probably gnomes But I'm not sure Evens, orcs Odds, gnomes

Just no I'm pleased. Just a straight up Hot little Baby for ya, no So there are four people in the tavern I'm pleased. Just a straight up hot little baby foyer. No. So there are four people in the tavern aside from us. Terrell, Huck, and Alexander. Yeah.

All right, can you believe this piece of shit over here, Huntsman? Fucking anyway, look, I've got you some lovely cloaks. Oh, thank you. Just with a grunt. Not directed necessarily at anyone, just directed at the room. Huck Duffy says in his deep baritone voice keep the peace yeah I know look I'm giving gifts I was intended I got cloaks I got goggles

I got snowshoes for all of us and I got some rations so if we need to like chuff off this tavern got very full very quick and you got coffee coffee no coffee would be too foreign a thing damn it That's a hot area. I want an espresso.

Cocoa beans. Oh yeah, something. It is cold as shit. I want a hot drink. Do you have such as hot lemon drinks? They can do hot drinks, yeah. Like a mulled wine or a hot cider or something like that. Yeah, you don't have to give me one of them hot ciders you have.

Once again, when Hobb comes out, he says, you know what? Just drinks on the house, I reckon. You know what, Hobb? I really like you, but there is a boy down the road. You should do, like, his name's Noble. You should get some business sense of him. He knows his stuff anyway.

Thank you very much. Well, it seems to me, like, Hobb, is it you and the boy who runs the general store swapped minds okay he wanders back over uh you three oh wait can you trissa you can yes the arrow you can well yet you cannot it's got nothing to do with reading then over over here hobb is trying to engage huck duffy the sheriff in conversation huck duffy though he's not he's not interested in any of things that hobb wants to talk about uh alcohol pleasant stories stuff like that huck it says very bluntly blacksmith says all of his silver has been taken you know what what that must mean. What does that mean? Do you just pipe up?

Yes, I do. Huck Duffy slowly turns around on his chair. And I don't care how experienced a bunny hunter you are, you're a little scared. You're a little intimidated. You know the best part is as he turned around, it'd be like, who the fuck? Oh, down there? Yeah, like turn around.

He's like, I don't see anyone. Oh, okay. He's like, female don't see anyone. Oh, okay. He's like, female voice. It's from a gnome. Looks at me. Looks at you. Looks like, what the? Oh.

Probably notices the shield before he notices me. The first winter storm is coming in, and that means two things. The first thing is we're going to have trouble doing anything outside of a building. All right, then. The second thing is the white wolf is coming. What? Sorry. No, I think we're fine.

We dealt with the white wolf. As soon as Huck Duffy says the white wolf is coming, Hob behind the bar starts humming a very loud, and he picks up something and starts cleaning it like, please don't have this conversation in my tavern. It's fine. What is it? White wolf.

We took care of a white wolf before. I don't know how I got your bloody accent. We dealt with it, mate. No, we dealt with it. You killed the white wolf. We did. I would be very surprised that you did not start as a party of ten. We killed a white wolf.

Let me, so what is this white wolf? It's a werewolf. It flicks our town once a year. How do you know that? How do you know that it's not a werewolf? The white wolf that we killed, how do you know that's not a werewolf? That's a good point.

Can we tell the difference between a werewolf and a normal wolf? What is a werewolf versus a normal wolf? What is a werewolf versus a normal wolf? Versus a man wolf. Versus a man wolf versus a wolf man. There's a lot of complicated wolf variations. Trissa and Chet, you are both free to assume whatever you wish about werewolves. Daryl, though, Daryl, you have the burden of being the only one who rolled high enough to know something about werewolves.

That's rare. So you know that werewolves are sometimes people, sometimes wolf, sometimes a hybrid between the two. You also know that it can either be an affliction where the person can't control it. Just sometimes they turn into the werewolf depending on circumstances. Sometimes, though, a person can control it and they become a werewolf as they wish. Tris, yeah, it was not a werewolf that we got. We got not a werewolf, trust me.

Werewolf is bigger, basically. Oh, yeah, yeah, you would imagine the werewolf to be a bit bigger than what you thought. Unless we killed, like, baby werewolf, but I don't think we did. Well, who would have taken the silver? The werewolf. Why? The blacksmith says it was taken last night.

His blacksmithy was broken into by something big. There's a hole in his wall. How did the werewolf pick up the silver? Because werewolves are like, they can either be men or they can be... It doesn't burn the werewolf to the touch. It can pick it up the silver. Because werewolves, they can either be men or they can be... It doesn't burn the werewolf to the touch. It can pick it up. Oh. But a weapon that has been silvered can cut through its hide.

Oh, right. Do you have any other silver in the tale? Or was that it? I have. He pats his sword. This sword. And that's it. They were in the blacksmith for safekeeping

But apparently it wasn't safe enough Adam, what are my battle axes made of? Probably steel Ah, never mind Adam Carry on I was going to be everyone's favourite Never mind There is apparently

One other weapon That can harm the werewolf It's made of a substance called blue ice, which is like regular ice, but as hard as steel. Oh, yes. There's a druid up north who owns the weapon.

Oh, alright. Okay, then. That's good to hear. So what does this werewolf do? I thought you were interested. I'm sorry. Well, actually, you know what? It wasn't even addressing you, you fucker. He doesn't say that. I say that. Sorry, what was your question?

What does this white wolf do? The white wolf, once a year, comes and terrorizes us. It kills a bunch of our livestock. It kills Hobbes' cows. Well, yucks, sorry. You would refer to them as cows. We call them yucks. Oh, okay, yucks sorry you would refer to them as cows we call them yucks oh okay yucks of course like in the picture book yes like in the picture book uh it kills a bunch of our livestock it kills some of us if it can and then it just disappears for a year oh how long has this

been going on for? As far as I can remember. That's not good. All right, so because we want to be gone fairly soon, but I guess... You're not going anywhere in this storm. You're in for the duration. Yes. How long might that be? The boy down the thing said the general store was like a fortnight maybe.

I'd say that's generous. It'd take a month at least before the storm dies down and you don't want to travel far during that period well okay all right um so uh huck you're the you're the mayor was it you said i'm the sheriff all right so um we've got the mayor is off somewhere else all right then uh we'll meet him later, I suppose. So we've got a... Yeah, don't worry. You're not done meeting all the cast of this game. It's all right.

So we've got a very dangerous criminal we've bound up. He's... In a barrel. In a barrel at the moment. He's poking his head out. In a barrel and some... The barrel's too big for him to poke his head out. All right, then.

I reach in. I pick him up. A scruff of his neck. What's he done? Oh, well, he's done... He's done... I've got it here. I pick him up. A scruff of his neck. What's he done? Oh, well, he's done. He's done. I've got it here. I've written it down.

26. One count of assassination. 100 counts of theft low. Sounds like such a judge. It's the best. 26 counts of murder. Or maybe Muppets. I can't read my own handwriting.

16 counts of theft high. That. He did that. Hi. That. He did that. Those. That little one did all that. What is he? Six? I don't.

He's little. Yes. No, he's a halfling. A what? Half. A hling. You explained lots of them. A hling.

A hling. A hling. Hi. He's a hawk. I am a hilf. He's a hling. All right. All right. Not a reaction from Adamite people.

Halfling. We got a gnome. That little. That little. No, just... All right, what up? Look, Leondra, can I... What are you going to say if he...

Take the thing out of his mouth you can talk to him yourself if you want hey I'm not going to try to cast spell anymore I don't know what

you're talking about I'm not a caster that's clearly a liar that's a good lie I don't even know why I rolled he couldn't just couldn't

anyway put him back in the barrel. So any questions you want for this boy, Huck? No, so long as you're serving a lawful warrant. Yep. Chuck Laney's. Gag him again. So is there any way we can, like, safekeeping that he definitely cannot escape from?

Well, I would have said the blacksmith, but there's a big hole there now. You're right then. Fair. That's well you keep him in the barrel that'll be safe as safe can be masterwork barrel tell you what you three look like you can handle yourselves i need a couple extra strong hands oh Do you think you could help us out? You're stuck here, he says. Frankly, you're stuck here. I know. I'm just comfortable. I don't need you to help me with something just now. I wanted to say

you think if the time comes to it, you might be able to help with the werewolf. I reckon we can. Sure. What's your usual strategy with dealing with this werewolf. I reckon we can. Sure. I mean, what's your usual strategy with dealing with this white wolf? Do you just hunker down in tavern? Do you hunker down in blacksmith?

Hunker down in tavern? I like to treat this as a military engagement. I do like to hunker down. It's better to have a defensive position. Unfortunately, the ultimate say is the mayor. And the mayor, the door bursts open. Close the door say is the mayor. And the mayor, the door bursts open. Close the door. A different idea.

In wanders a very panicked looking man who says, the silver is gone. The silver is gone. We need help. We need help. Oh, Jesus. This has gotten very busy very quick. Yes.

As he waddles, he's a fat man. As he waddles over's a fat man as he waddles all mares are huck duffy gestures and says uh introducing mayor fenris wolf fuck off really fin right you know what huck i don't want to say like who is werewolf but i've got a sneaky suspicion falls to his knees next to Huck Duffy and says, You need to send someone, anyone. You go. Cold Rose.

Someone needs to go to Cold Rose. We need help. We will go to Cold Rose to get out of this tavern. Huck Duffy puts up a hand. Huck Duffy, the sheriff, puts up a hand and says, No, no, no. I'm not sending anyone useful to Coldrose. Not in this weather, at least.

We're completely useless. We'll go. Please let us go. What's in Coldrose? More silver? Is that what's happening? Oh, my God. Please, we need to go to Coldrose.

Someone needs to go. But we can't because of storm. It was a whole thing. Huck Duffy grabs the mare bodily and shoves him to the side near where Teril is, where he has also shoved Teril when Teril tried to talk to him earlier, and then addresses you guys directly. He says, what are your plans? Look, our plan was to take Ikva all the way down to Coldrose.

Then from Coldrose, we just keep going and eventually we go as far east as we need to go. South. South and then east as we need to go? Or is it all the way south? Where's Karsari? It's basically a south. Straight south almost. Yeah, all the way south as much as we can. I don't have much gold

but I have a brother in Coldrose who owns a ship. What you could do with a ship? I could arrange free passage straight to carcery. If you help me with this. Done. Deal. I don't want to go. It's real cold here and then it gets real hot.

I don't want you to go anywhere. I know I'm saying a ship would be good. Yes. I'm saying yes. Alright, good. So, first things first is Someone should probably make an attempt At going to Coldrose

We need to find someone who can do that What about Which is the one that annoys us the most Fenris, who got very quiet when he shoved aside Stands up and says Will anyone save us and go to Coldrose Teril stands up and says I will go to Coldrose For Teril stands up and says,

I will go to Coldrose for you, Mayor. Yes, excellent plan. That's the best plan I've ever heard. Nobody here is more qualified. I'd like to get up and put an arm around Teril. And Teril right here. Look at his muscles. Between you and Huck Duffy trying to get the mayor and Terrell out,

and the mayor trying to get Terrell out, Terrell and the mayor leave very quickly to go to the general store and gather supplies for the trip to Coldrose. We did it. It's one problem solved for us. Take that off the ticker. Will Terrell make it to Coldrose? Will the mayor ever shut up? Find out next time on Northern Bounty,

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