D&D is For Nerds - Northern Bounty #6 Snow

Episode Date: February 18, 2017

In which our heroes must brave temperatures no human was ever made to survive. Chet advises against micro-naps, Trissa is fine because she’s little and D'aryl rages to get himself through the last hour.Want to help support the show?Patreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadAdam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANS PANTS RADIO, 19 and out, but still going strong. Most of us cut our teeth questing in the expansive and somewhat trippy world of Final Fantasy, a franchise that's just D&D, but with better hair and graphics. Well, if you're a massive nerd, and you are, we all are, it's time to face the music, then you'd be wanting to get along to a new world, intimate music from Final Fantasy in Brisbane. Following on from a sold-out concert series across the country, the New World players are back with their tribute to the music of the game series, celebrating 30 years, or XXX.

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Now, enjoy the show. Welcome to Chapter 6 of Northern Bounty, a D&D is for Nerds side quest adventure. Previously, you see out of the snow a giant figure approaching. So, imagine like you've got your basic moose. And then you've basically like, you've cranked it up to 11. You've covered it in like tinsel, almost. Christmas moose. You've covered it in, like, tinsel, almost. Christmas moose. And I think it's... Lots of muscles.

Yeah, lots. Oh, it's muscly. Oh, wait, I have a longbow. Oh, I'm going to shoot at it. Yeah. Oh, you fucking Satan moose think you're better than me? I'll try and rip his handles off. Do you think making a moose blind would make it more dangerous or less?

I alley goofed. Why are you goofing? Alert the guard! Everybody run! And then it gallops away into town. Is this how we die, guys? We die by moose? What's in a crit fail?

If you get a crit fail, what the fuck? What the fuck? Fuck this moose! I just have this feeling that if it's blind, it'll calm down. You reckon? The moose falls to the ground. Still reeling from your fight with the great elk, you're standing in the middle of town.

Um, I should heal up my friends. You're actually kind of exhausted. Like, you probably want to... You probably want to kip for a little while, actually. Let's just go back to bar, have a quick... How about we head out just like a little bit from town so that it doesn't

look real embarrassing so everybody hold up the charade of being proud heroes until we get out and then we can be like oh my god it was a

it was a heavy heavy fight oh jesus how are we alive I thought I was dead I thought I was I thought it was an easy fight

I break its horn and then it gouged me like a cunt. Yeah. So, fuck. Fuck this moose. Let's pitch a tent. Everybody. And rest for a good while.

Have a nap. You deserve it. We're the heroes that this town deserves. Yeah, all right. You're unable to form any type of meaningful shelter because none of you have a tent packed. You guys know some basics about making lean-tos and such like that in the wilderness, but... We didn't bring a tent.

Are we dickheads? A tent wouldn't do you much good here. We can at least make a little snow shelter, yeah? Yeah, you try to make some basic lodging like that, but there's not a lot of material at hand other than just snow, and a purely snow shelter, unless you're really working at it, isn't really that great. How far away is the Trapper house anyway?

It's about a day. Well, in this weather, it's about a day's travel. You're going to need to go there. In this weather, you're going to want to, because it's two days to the Druid. Yeah, yeah. So you're going to want proper lodging on the way. Look, I know we are wrecked, but could we push on and try to get to Trapper's house? Then we rest there.

A solid nap. Good. That's right. True. No micro-naps. Yes. Wipe out five, wipe out lives. So you're just heading straight on to the...

No, that's not... So you're just heading straight on to the trailer? Trapper, sorry, not trailer. The trailer. As you're about halfway between the town and the trapper's hut the snow starts really picking up again and even with your heavy furs it'd be it's just the worst absolutely freezing it's uh let me just quickly. Oh, no.

How much do we even care about this town? Very little. Oh, well, they've got our bounty, though. Oh, true. Oh, you're in the barrel. We'll put that fucking wizard in a barrel. Additionally, there's nowhere else to go. We're kind of stuck. And if we head back to the town and we're like Yeah we just decided we're not gonna

I feel like they wouldn't be super grateful Then we've got that werewolf problem So So like I've said before D&D is all in Imperial rather than Metric so I don't know the quick Conversion here But it's probably

Right now the temperature is sitting somewhere around negative 20 Fahrenheit. Okay. Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit, yeah. What's that in Celsius? I don't know. I could get a quick converter or something like that. Yeah, I'd like to know.

Because I don't know what Fahrenheit is. That literally means nothing to me. I mean, I know negative 20 is bad in Celsius, but maybe it's good in Fahrenheit. Maybe. No, guys, because like 100 degrees Fahrenheit is like 40 degrees Celsius. Uh-oh. We're really chilly. That's okay.

Let's just all get naked under the furs. Yeah. And cycle up. Yeah. You're only we, man. You can just fit in between us. I know. I'm going to.

32 Fahrenheit is zero Celsius. Yeah. You're only we, man. You can just fit in between us. I know. I'm going to die. 32 Fahrenheit is zero Celsius. Yeah. So negative 25 is negative 30 Celsius. Can humans even survive in that? Yes. No. But you're here. Like.

I'm a no. It's fine. So the way temperatures work is within the, there's different bands. So temperature bands and different bands have different effects. So the cold band, regular cold, is every hour you begin taking damage. Then there's severe cold, which is every 10 minutes you begin taking damage. And then there's extreme cold, which is every 10 minutes you begin taking damage. And then there's extreme cold, which is every 10 minutes you take damage. Usually there's like a saving throw involved.

No saving throw. And then there's a saving throw or take additional damage. Gee, I wonder what bloody band we're in. So with cold weather gear, you don't need to worry about that first level. With cold weather gear and furs, you don't need to worry about that first level yeah with cold weather gear and furs you don't need to worry about the first two but you need basically shelter to save yourself from the third level oh god uh you are considered partially protected from this which means that it's not as bad but still every hour you're going to need to make a save and you're going to start taking

damage that damage will stay no matter if you heal or do anything you need to to need to make a save and you're going to start taking damage. That damage will stay no matter if you heal or do anything you need to warm up to get rid of that damage. How far away are we from the trapper's garden? Also, you're at risk for hypothermia and frostbite. Okay.

How far away are we? You're roughly six hours so you're going to need to make six saves all three of you. All right. That's fine. It can't be that much damage. If I rage

I'll be fine Raging is for one save And then you're exhausted So for the other save you take penalties Although it's actually irrelevant Because you guys set out while you were exhausted So you two actually are already taking penalties God damn it

We'll be alright But if you rage you'll go from exhausted to fatigued, which is like, you just won't be able to make the save. That's funny as shit. Alright, then I won't rage. Probably for the best. Probably for the best. So I'm going to need to make, like I said, six saves for all three of you. Do you want me to just tell you what

happened at the end, or do you want me to tell you as we go? As we go, because then we can be like, alright, now we get to shelter. Yeah, exactly. We can kind of push and push and see. We don't have anything to set up. We can figure it out. As we go, because then we can be like, all right, now we get to shelter. Yeah, exactly. We can kind of push and push and see. We don't have anything to set up. We can figure it out. Skin a cow.

Hop inside. Green. Piss yellow. Piss yellow for Chet. Green for Tessa. And red for me, I guess. So as we're going, maybe grabbing some sticks, grabbing some stuff, seeing that we're going to be pushing this to be hard,

so let's be smart about it. Yeah. As we go out and we pick up whatever little twigs and... I know how to survive. Look, I don't have your fancy edumacation of looking, going to this school thing, but I know how to survive the mean wilderness. All right, then.

Just shake my head. You're tiny. That means you're going to get cold so much quicker. Nah. All right, I guess it doesn't going to get cold so much quicker. Nah. All right, I guess it doesn't. I don't know shit, I guess. Less exposure. Can I cast resistance on all three of us?

That gives you a bonus for one time. Oh, sick. I'll wait until we're nearly done. How many times can you cast that? Three times. Three a day. That means three casts of the spell, so that means once on all of us. Okay. Trissa,

you are fine for the first hour, but D'Arrel and Chet, as soon as they... There's also a blizzard kicking up as well. So as soon as it hits, both of you take two points of non-lethal damage that will not heal until you get warm.

Did you say Da-am? Because your name's Da-arrel? That's bloody good. I'm fucking into that. Do not encourage him. What if I cast Tasha's Hideous Laugh on us? That's a gag. Keep everyone nice and, you know, toasty laughing.

All right, the bloody Joker over here. It's two damage, it's fine. Trissa, you're fine Aral and Chet I told you, I'm small Why are you so okay with this? Two more points Whatever, it's two points, it's fine

It was all freezing Fuck this Everything's fine Reversed Trissa Aral and Chet Somehow both of you are able to... We huddle together.

You huddle together to start fighting off. Although... We don't let Trissa in. Both of you have frostbite. Your legs are completely frozen over and you're having trouble working your knees. Oh, God, that's okay. You start taking penalties to your dexterity.

Two more hours and we're there. It's fine, it's fine. And you might lose a limb in this. Maybe cast the resistance on us and sneak in now. Yeah, cast resistance on us. Trissa, I'm going to say you fell down somewhere and you got covered in snow, so you're kind of soaking wet because you take five non-lethal and are now the worst out of everyone.

Oh, no. Cure a moderate wound. No. Resistance on everyone. Oh, no. Cure moderate wound. No. Resistance on everyone. Resistance for the next save? All right. That's how all my spells sound. Like a Mario noise.

They really do. Unfortunately, that helped literally no one. All three of you will be taking damage this round. Sorry, I'm garbage. Sorry, I'm garbage. So it's been... Sorry, I'm the worst part there ever was. Three hours so far. Three points of damage.

Holy fuck, it's so cold. Trissa, you're on eight. Daryl, you're on seven. And Chet, you're on seven. What's our maximum? Is that our maximum health? Yeah, just when it reaches your health. So you can stand this for quite a long time.

A normal human being would have been dead an hour ago. We're heroes of old. Yeah, I get that. You guys are able to withstand this a lot longer, but like I said, until you get to a fire, this damage stays. All right, so what, three more? Three more.

No, two more. Yeah, Adam? There's three more. It's okay. No, two more. Yeah, Adam? There's three more. It's okay. We'll be fine. Was there anywhere we could... No, there's no shelter. There's no shelter.

There's nothing we can do. Yeah, right. Everyone just bring it in. Huggle around me. I'll keep you in my coat. Maybe for the last hour I'll rage. Will that help at all? I don't think it will.

It will help, yeah. In the last hour. In the last hour. But when you get to the cabin, you'll be fucked. That's fine. I'm hedging my bets that the cabin is a toasty place. That's what I keep imagining. A war and warring fire.

Hot cocoa and a arrow. Both of you literally got the number you needed to make the save. So you're both dying. I like to think I have them in my coat. That's why they're warm this time. You're absolutely dying, but you're fine. Good. Chet, however, they have stolen your warmth. You opened

your coat. That was the problem you had. Warped vampires! Turned on lethal, so now you're the worst, Chet. You parasites! Get out of my coat! One fourth of your hit points are gone I kick them out of my coat No thank you Trissa, you're okay for

Frostbite? You're just fine, Trissa I'm little, little amount of exposure Chet, one of your legs stopped working Oh no Shit You can't feel anything in it Do you want to have a look at it? No

I'm just going to keep going Anybody comes up to me I'm like fuck off Don't look at me It's fine You stole my warmth You're a parasite Fuck off! Don't look at me! It's fine. You stole my warmth! You're a parasite! I'll kill you where you stand!

Warmth vampires. Good. Not gonna lie, Chet's panicking. Just an iota. You know what's really great about frostbite? There are rules for how you cure it. Oh! And you can take extra damage and penalties if you cure it in the wrong way.

Oh, good. Maybe I'll just let it die. Lose a leg. Lose a leg. It's fine. Put a moose antler where my leg was. Okay. So.

I'm not really, you know, the fighting type. We can still do magic. It's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not a kicking bard. Yeah, I'm not a kick wizard. It's fine. You're not even... You're no longer a thing.

This is the fifth hour now. So... Oh, good. You're close to done. Nearly out. Nearly out. This is when it gets the worst. Or the best.

Oh, that whistle. I think I was right the first time. It's not great. It's okay. Trissa, once again. It's fine. You're doing fine. Trissa, once again. It's fine? You're doing fine. Fuck you.

Fuck you with your tiny body. Oh no. Is Daryl losing a leg? Maybe. This is fucking bullshit. This is what this is. I don't even care about the werewolves.

I never said. Quite frankly, I want the werewolf to come and eat one of us and then I can like bathe in warm blood. I wish that werewolf would eat I never said. Quite frankly, I want the werewolf to come and eat one of us and then I can like bathe in warm blood. I wish that werewolf would eat the whole town. So it's funny you should

say that. Why? You hear a how from behind you. Fuck my life. I don't know. Fuck my life. Bullshit. Do any of you turn around? No, not at all. Keep walking. I will. You turn around? Idiot. Keep walking. Just like still walking, though.

The snow, the blizzard is coming down pretty hard. It's not whiteout conditions yet, so you're not snowblind or anything like that. And you guys have the goggles anyway. But when you turn around, it is daytime, so there should be light, but there isn't a lot. But what light you can see by, you can see there is something big following you. The big thing pauses again and arcs

its head up towards the sky and you hear another howl. Fuck off. I'm just gonna say run. Don't touch me. It's big. Run. Bigger than the moose. It's very big. Is it what colour? Is it a mammoth? You can't see, it's just a shadow. Run. This is bullshit. Run. This is the fuck off. It's very big. Is it a mammoth? You can't see.

It's just a shadow. This is bullshit. This is the fucker. Hang on. I'm not even done with you guys yet. I mean, mammoths don't howl, but like... Oh, my God, Chet. Someone needs to carry you. Your legs are dead.

Guess who can't? Because I'm a gnome. Get under Daryl's arm. Climb onto Daryl's arm. You guys are hampered right now You're moving Well no actually Never mind

Daryl Daryl you can still move faster than Trissa can Trissa I got no legs In this heavy snow conditions You're moving at five feet around Yeah can they get me on either side like this And I'll just heal them as we go

You can't heal this damage I know. But I've got other damage. He's got other damage. Do you want to heal that? Yeah. You have to make a check because your arms are also frostbitten. That's fine.

If this spell fails, you just lose the spell. That's fine. You mean forever? Not forever, but like you lose a casting. Yeah, that's fine. So the spell fails. lose a casting. Yeah, that's fine. So the spell fails. The spell fails. No, it's fine.

Keep walking. We'll keep walking. And I'll rage. Last hour. Last hour. Fuck this bullshit. My legs are gone. Good to get to kibbut.

Good to get to kibbut. Tell my mother chat's legs are gone. It is a good thing you raged. You wouldn't have made this check otherwise. Fuck my life. Oh, Trissa. Are there wheelchairs in D&D? We'll invent one for you, especially.

D'Arrel, because the warmth, the extra, what do you call it? The extra metabolism and warmth that raging gives you, you're the only one who's fine. Trissa and Chet, you both take three points. Is this going to be yet another adventure where Jackson dies?

Maybe. Hey, I might just lose my life. Chet, half of your hit points. And literally, we're there. We're home. We're there. We're in a warm place. We see the cabin. Does it look warm? Hang on. Does it look warm? Hang on Does it look warm? Please don't have it be a bed

There's certainly no light on That's ominous Trissa, you fall over in the snow As you try to get up By the way, you can still hear it behind you It's been getting, over the hour It's been getting closer and closer There's lies

Trissa, as you try to get up behind. It's been getting, over the hour it's been getting closer and closer. It's lies. Trissa, as you try to get up you realise one of your legs isn't responding. I pick her up by the scruff of her neck. She's too heavy. Bullshit! Just limp. You can't carry both of them. Just limp. I'll do that. Limp away. It's alright.

Hop to the cabin. You're crawling. At a crawling speed I'm going to say you're just moving like one foot around because I can't dock your movement speed anymore. That's fine. I'm like, get to the cabin. Drop this boy. Run back. Grab that girl.

Get to cabin. In a full round, if she does nothing but move, she moves at the same rate you do when you take a step. Can he do that? Can he go to the cabin, throw me on the ground Go get her? Yeah, you can hike towards the cabin Like I said, there's no lights on And snow has piled up all over the place

The door is partially snowed over You've got to either dig the snow out Or just try to kick the door down I'll either kick the door down or get his boy to dig And I'll go get that one You dig, I'll go get that one. You want to just drop him in the snow? You dig, I'll go get her.

You get dropped in the snow? Like placed in the snow? Don't like... He's in snow, though. Like, oh my god. Three. I'm fine. I'm fine. Dig in the hole, I'll get her.

Okay, you start digging. You go back. As soon as you turn around, the werewolf is closer to Trissa than you are. Oh no. Oh, so it's a werewolf? We can tell it's a werewolf now? He's the only one who can see it. You see it pretty well in these conditions.

Bullshit! Trissa is 30 feet away from you. The werewolf is 40 feet away from you. Trissa's gonna get eaten! It's massive. Absolutely from you, the werewolf is 40 feet away from you. Tris is going to get eaten. It's massive. Absolutely enormous.

Maybe the size of an elephant almost. It's big. Pure white fur covers it all over itself. Is it blizzarding down? If I yell something, they're going to hear me. You don't think so. I want to point behind the werewolf and go, another moose! Guys, I'm so little. He's probably going to hear me. You don't think so. I want to point behind the wealth and go, ah, another moose!

Guys, I'm so little. He's probably going to eat me in one. It's claws and it's maw are the only parts that are not white. They are rich red with blood. It looks like it's fed recently. That's right. He's not hungry. He's not hungry. You'll weigh him down.

He's going to swim enough to eat. It's bad. I know. I know. I'm running towards Tris. Tris? He's not hungry. You'll weigh him down. He's fine. He's going to swim enough to eat. It's bad. I know. What do you do? We've got half an hour, guys. I'm running towards Triss. Triss? Oh, wait. Can I? Oh, wait.

Ah, bow and arrow. Can I run towards Triss, bow and arrow? Not at me, by the way. At the werewolf. You don't even know if you think you'll hurt it doing that. There's an actual Primal monkey fear Within you right now Oh wait I think it has an effect on that

Did elves evolve from monkeys Adam? We all evolved from monkeys No humans evolved alongside monkeys Elves evolved from monkeys Alright I wrote rumours that you could hear about The white werewolf Well we did investigate. Did not listen to those.

Maybe the trapper will know. Maybe the druid will know. We'll ask them. Maybe the trapper, who's definitely alive and has a fire and soup. All right. Yeah, like I said, you're afraid to attack. I'd say you need to make a wool save to go get her. I'll do that.

I'll make wool save. Like, oh, shit, I've got to get to get yes you work up whatever courage you have maybe you're still raging even and you charge through the snow to get to trissa trissa at first at first you think it's you're going snow mad or something like that because snow starts snow's falling on you but the snow falling on your back feels warm. But then you realize it's not snow that's falling on your back when it drips around your helmet, but drool. It's warm. It's not all bad.

That's a bonus. It'll be warm inside the whale's stomach. As you see Daryl approaching you, you can see the concern on his face, and you're pretty sure you have a good idea Of what's happening You reach Trissa The wolf hasn't moved much at all

But it is slowly advancing It's like, have you ever seen like an animal Or something like that slowly stalking Google A person not looking at Big Cat at the zoo Have you ever seen one of those videos? That is what is happening The werewolf, without even looking at Big Cat at the zoo. Have you ever seen one of those videos? Oh, it's good.

That is what is happening. The werewolf, without even looking at you, is slowly stalking behind Trissa as if it's ready to pounce. Yep. All right. I'm going to grab Trissa and put her behind me. You can't pick her up, but you can drag her. I'm dragging her and not taking eyes off Wolf back towards the cabin. You slowly back towards the cabin, dragging Trissa.

It slowly advances on you about the same rate. Its eyes have shifted from Trissa to you now. This is fine. Have I dug enough of a hole? Because I need the door to be open when they arrive. You've dug enough that you think you could open the door maybe, but you're wearing gloves, but you can't feel your hands or fingers. I was about to say, you'll find out in a minute.

You're literally blue. Oh, that's unusual. You're wearing gloves, so you can't see it oh okay true uh can i open the door to roll myself in and like leave it open for them with some effort you're able to open the door and roll in okay the cabin is one room in the there's two doors there's a back door and a front door the back door has been... The one that you guys didn't see has been broken off its hinges and is in pieces on the floor.

The gory remains of the trapper. But did he leave a fire going? Looking to the fireplace, you think the fire went out recently. Oh, that's good. The trapper was also killed recently Well I mean that explains Where we found it And the blood

Anyway I'll leave the door open and I'll crawl my way over to the fire And try and get it going whilst they come inside The wind like I said has nearly put the fire out Completely but there are some smouldering Ashes you're able to work with Trissa And D'Arrel You both stumble in through the doorway completely, but there are some smouldering ashes you're able to work with. Trissa? Yes. And D'Arrel? You both

stumble in through the doorway. I'm going to say, D'Arrel, you are able, with your foot, to just kick the door closed. Oh, someone's still got their feet. You can see a lock on the door as well that you could probably work. You haven't seen the cabin properly

yet. But I will look that look. Alright. You secure that door. Flashback to the night before the door ripped off hinge. No. There's furniture all over the place. It'll be fine. There's furniture all over the

place that you guys could pile up against the door if you wanted. I will be doing that. I'm going to say, you're just not paying attention to the rest of the room, so you don't know that the other door is just gone. Good. It doesn't take long, though. Trissa, you're very aware of the room.

I just feel like, back door! Back door, guys! It's not a door! Now is not time for anal sex, Trissa! No! After a couple tries, Chet, you're able to get the fire starting again, but the wind keeps just putting it out. Somebody close the big hole! And I'm not after anal sex!

Through the blizzard, you can see the white wolf slowly stalking its way around to that opening. Alright, I'm going to... Do we pile furniture in front of us? There's a bookcase that's right next to it that you can just tip over if you want. I'll take some of the books that fall out and put them on the fire. Pile up as much furniture as you can.

So, Daryl is the only one who can walk right now. You're the one who goes around and just starts piling furniture wherever possible. Trissa and, well, actually, I'll get to you in a sec, Trissa. But Chet, you start collecting stuff for the fire. Trissa, what would you like to do, knowing that you can't walk right now? How's he walking?

I'm not. He's crawling. You can crawl around and help. I guess, yeah, crawl around and help if that's an option. I'll say, Trissa, you start breaking down bigger pieces of furniture. To put on the fire. Pieces of furniture that are too small to block any passages or anything like that. Do you also want to block windows?

Of course. As you're blocking the door, one of the windows smash. The glass is shattered and a massive arm. The arm is as long as you are tall. Oh, fuck. Try scraping around on the inside. Can I get my hell buried and just quickly give him a bit of this? Tap, tap.

No, big, big wolf. Ah, the wolf's arm. And this is a fucking vicious attack if I can't just... I don't care right now. I'm already wounded. Fuck it. I healed you up a bit on the run. just... I don't care right now. I'm already wounded. Fuck it. I healed you off a bit. No, you didn't.

You failed. You did, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm garbage. You hit as hard and as heavy as you can. It's like a scratch. Literally. Have you ever fallen off a playground and been like,

Ma? Yes, last week week you give it a booboo oh no you however take two points of damage that's super

not worth it fuck this wolf maybe if I make it blind the arm goes back out is this something I can deafen

to good effect you can try make it blind like this. Although you are collecting materials for the fire. Focus on fire.

I'm freezing still. Get us warm first. The wolf either stops stalking around the house or the blizzard is picked up to such a condition

that you actually just can't see that it's stalking around the house. She keeps piling stuff up. Yes. How's the fire looking Adam?

Trissa and Chet you both try to light the fire. You're not doing well. Give us a hand when you're done. At some point, literally all of the furniture has been used. All right. Give a hand. The only thing that is not furniture, that is not piled up against the walls, is the body of the trapper, or what's left of the body of the trapper.

I'll put it on the fire. It's not like a barbecue in here. It won't burn. Do I have anything to burn? Yeah, I'm looking through my stuff. What can I burn? Hold on. An antler.

Antlers don't burn. Don't be stupid. Does silk rope burn, Adam? Silk rope? Yeah. It does. Well? Probably not well

Better or worse than the books we're using? Worse than the books We'll keep using them books Silk rope is something you put on the fire after you've got a roaring fire Alright Keep using those books Okay I have a torch

Is that going to help? I guess you could Yeah Like The torch does burn I'll use the help with the torch or something I don't know Sell anything out of anything I don't know what to help We'll tear out floorboards if we have to Yeah, I'll use the help with the torch or something. I don't know, sell anything out of anything.

I don't want to help. We'll tear out floorboards if we have to. We will. We'll use our clothes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jackson, no. I'll cut off my gank leg and cook that. Why not?

Smell like barbecuing. Yeah, that'd be all right. No, that might attract the wolf. Oh, shit. Oh, wait, he's already here. That's fine. Trissa, you're able to wipe the fire off. Yeah, that'd be alright. No, that might attract the wolf. Oh, shit. Oh, wait, he's already here. That's fine. Trissa, you're able to light the fire. Oh, thank Christ.

You've got a little bit of a fire going. Might have victories. Might have victories. That's what it's all about, you know? Here in the fucking snow. Fuck my life, I guess. Now that we have a moment, I'd like to inspect my legs Start peeling off pieces of clothing

Just you or anyone else? Who here can't feel a thing? As in like Not a thing As in like a thing of their body I raise my hands You're fine Trissa

You can't feel your legs below the knees Both? Yeah both legs Chet You can't feel anything to do with your legs, and your hands are incredibly numb. So who wants to strip? I'll get naked.

Fix me good. Can I do survival checks on them? Is that what this is? It'll be heel checks. Do I have a good heel? That is not as good. I have a heel of two. Daryl has a decent heel.

I don't know. Does that handle animal? Yeah. Yeah, you're all shit at heeling. I have a hot one. I got two. I got two. If we put it together, that makes four.

That's true. We got four, Adam. Well, we got five if we include Daryl. Yeah, but he's... Not how it works. You take off your gloves. Chet, your hands are pale blue. Am I dying?

Yeah. Do you want to have a look at your feet? I think... Stay by fire. Your toes are black. Stay also by fire. Right, so I've lost them. That's that, just done.

How are my legs looking? Your legs are ranging from a deep blue to a pale blue. So I think maybe those toes are gone, but the legs are pretty blue. Trissa, do you want to have a look? Mm-hmm. Your feet are going blue. So I'm like fine. Just stay by fire.

You two stay by fire. I'm going to quickly check myself. You look okay. You're pale, but you're okay. Stay also by fire. Everyone stay by fire. I'm going to quickly check myself. You look okay. You're pale, but you're okay. Stay also by fire. Everyone stay by fire. Keep keeping fire warm. Can I roll to see if I know how to heal frostbite?

You know some things. You know warm water is ideally what you want. Dry heat will help, but dry heat will cause you damage as well. Does any of us know how to deal with frostbite? Yeah. Do Aril, you know about what I just said? Trissa, you too. All three of you are aware that

warm water is the best solution, but dry heat... What's my can? We can heat it up. We've got water, but... The fire is not big enough to heat anything yet. We've got water, but do we have a container for water? One of the barricades. Alright, um, can you guys... You hear a howling as well. Just give us a second. water but do we have a container for water one of the barricades all right um can we just like

like just hold on howling as well just give us a second fuck off wolf my mom would run probably better time just good time that wolf it's fine just do a lap of the barren wasteland then come back and then come back if you want i can give you trapper to eat on. Fuck off. Trissa, you're the only one who notices. Oh, I thought it was like... The other two are too busy, either with looking at the barricades. Every now and then, one of the barricades is like... As the wolf tries to make its way in.

But you're both too distracted by whatever to notice this. Trissa, near the corpse of the trapper, you notice a wind has started to pick up. Like a tiny little, you ever see those mini cyclones? Like a willy-willy? What the fuck is this? Can I put, hold on, are you saying it's coming from the body? It's over the body.

So I can't use the body to stop that. I was like, just put it across the wall because that's where the wind's coming. No? No, the wind's not coming out of anywhere. It's just, it across the wall because that's where the wind's coming. No? No, the wind's not coming out of anywhere. It's just, it's almost supernatural in origin. Is this cyclone an omen of good or ill fortune? Find out next time on Northern Bounty, a D&D is for Nerds side quest adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar,

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