D&D is For Nerds - Northern Bounty #7 A G-G-G-Ghost!

Episode Date: February 21, 2017

In which our heroes tangle with a dangerous enemy within while an even worse enemy stalks outside. Chet wants everyone to let him die of frostbite, Trissa is helping in the worst way and D'aryl shouldn’t have had his hands in that place.Want to help support the show?Patreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadAdam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio. How you going, Joel? Welcome to Chapter 7 of Northern Bounty, a D&D's for Nerds side quest adventure. Previously. We head out just like a little bit from town so that it doesn't look real embarrassing. So everybody hold up the charade of being proud heroes and then we get out and we go like, Oh my god! That's okay, let's just all get naked under the furs. Negative 30 Celsius.

Look, I don't have your fancy edumacation of fucking going to this school thing, but I know how to survive the mean wilderness. Trissa, you were fine for the first hour, but Daryl and Chet, as soon as they, there's also a blizzard

kicking up as well, so as soon as they... There's also a blizzard kicking up as well. So as soon as it hits, both of you take two points of non-lethal damage that will not heal until you get rid of it. Resistance on everyone. Resistance for the next hit? All right. That's fine. I'm hedging my bets that the cabin is a toasty place. That's what I keep imagining.

A war and warring fire. Chet, one of your legs stops working. Oh no! You hear a howl from behind you. Fuck my life! I don't know! Fuck my life! The cabin is one room. There's two doors. There's a back door and a front door. The back door has been broken

off its hinges and is in pieces on the floor. The gory remains of the trapdoor. You give it a booboo. How are my legs looking? No! Oh, my legs. What do I do, Adam? Ghosts? What do I do? You gotta tell me what you do.

Guys! What? You both see me what you do. Guys! What? Guys, look! What the fuck is this? I don't have time. Alright, you two go in your fire. I will investigate by getting Halberd like the butt of it and poking Trapper with stick. The corpse shifts a little.

Then what happens? That's it. Is it willy-willy, just willy-willying? Yeah. I'll keep inspecting. You can sort of tell that it's picking up, but it's a very gradual picking up. Can I try to inspect a bit? So gradual that it might have been doing this when you guys first came in and you just didn't notice. Sorry?

Inspect a bit further? See if I know what the fuck is this? See if I know. You don't know what you're looking at. Do I know what I'm looking at? With my bardic knowledge? Frostfell ghosts. You remember being told a story about this a long time ago.

Good. Ghosts are the spectral remains of intelligent beings killed in the Frostfell, particularly those slain by supernatural phenomena. Also good. Wait, we didn't kill him. He'll be slain by supernatural phenomena. Also good. Wait, we didn't kill him, not be on our side. Yeah. Good ghost. Frostfell ghosts are much like ghosts elsewhere,

but they often possess unusual abilities not commonly encountered in ghosts. A Frostfell ghost usually resembles a frozen version of the form it possessed in life. Its body is covered in frost, snow, and chunks of ice. Limbs may appear to be broken, the skin covered in bruises, blood oozing from the nostrils, whatever conditions existed at the time of the creature's death. A frost-fell ghost cannot leave its site of demise.

Refusing to travel onward to the afterlife, some remain in the material world to prevent others from suffering the doom that overtook them. Oh, it's a good ghost. Helping us. However. Damn. How do I kill a ghost? Do I drink it? Most Frostfell ghosts are driven to take from the living the warmth and life they lack.

Okay, so this could go one of two ways. Let's be honest. Yeah, I mean, They're not good, they're not bad. It's a grey area ghost. We'll see what happens. Pick a body and put it at the other end and they can sap the ghost. You think you're looking at the birth of a Frostfell ghost. I inform everyone of what's occurring.

Is the wispy willow thing following where the trapper is? It's just sitting over the corpse. Right. I'm going to then pick up corpse and put it to the other end of the… The willy follows. Good. What a line.

Put it gently on the other side of the cabin, away from fire. Yeah. Because from what you just said, I'm imagining it takes far away. Inspect, search the trapper, see what he's got to him. You check the body? Yeah. Any equipment he had on him has been just shredded. Nothing is useful.

Is the fire hot enough that I can boil water yet? I want to prop the trapper up, make it more peaceful. And Triss's menstruations, the fire has come to a level where you could put a kettle over it. Okay, we'll find a kettle in the cabin and do so. Okay. Then I guess we just pour the boiling water on my legs? I think so. You can use a basin and pour that water in and you soak your feet.

Lucky you knew, because I was just going to scold myself. Scald. Because you don't want it boiling, boiling. The white wolf goes quiet for a little while. Either it's left or it's... Just doing something else. Who knows? You're not sure. Playing cards. But it's left or it's... Just doing something else. Who knows? You're not sure.

Playing cards. But you don't hear anything from it. Oh, right. You slowly start to boil the water. The little tornado keeps picking up and up and up. Eventually you get the... How much do you... Do you want it till it's boiling or do you want it till it's just warm?

Till it's warm because I want to scald him. Yeah. All right. Scald or scald? Scald. Scald. Because scald is when you get in trouble. Scald.

Scald. Scald. Okay. So. Scald. You submerge in basins. You submerge all of your blue limbs and color starts returning to them. Oh, thank goodness.

The black in your feet, though, Chet, it's consumed your feet now. Your feet are just black and it's not going. Is it spreading? It looks like it's spreading. Are we going to have to cut my feet off? Both feet? Both feet?

Both feet. I don't know if I can walk around on stumps, Adam. D'Arrel, you know gangrene when you see it. Is there any coming back from gangrene? Maybe with magical healing. I've got magical healing. You don't have the right time. Shit.

I have bad news. So. All right. Your feet. They're coming. I reckon I can see some improvement. feet. They're coming. I reckon I can see some improvement. So you notice in the black hair

which is spreading upwards towards the rest of the body. I'd like to grab my battle axe while they're talking. And while he's just You gotta spring it on me. You know what the funniest thing is? De Arrel, as the only one who made the check

anywhere near for gangrene, you're the only one who knows that you might want to cut a little bit higher as well to save... You're more likely to be successful then. So what we're going to have to do is... The question is, do you spring this suddenly on them

and where do you cut? How far? You're going to have to lose one of you. Exactly how far is the black at this point? It's basically reaching his ankles. Okay. Like maybe. He's looking at me.

I feel like. Like if you cut above the ankle and just got the foot, you'd get all of the black. What's that thing? What am I touching? Achilles? I'm touching it on my foot. The Achilles? No, the bump.

The ball thing? The ankle. That's your ankle. That. Just above that. Please. Just above my ankle. I thought you were just touching something weird over the desk.

You're like, what the hell is this? Is it going to be like gum? Maybe. I was feeling it on my leg, and then I realized that none of you can see what I'm doing. Yeah, no. Yeah. All right. So as I'm having...

As I'm trying to explain that we're going to have to cut a limb off. You go. She just springs it on you. Why are you doing this? I'd like to... I'm helping. It's not like a... This isn't dependent on like the second.

The non-lethal damage hasn't properly left yet because you guys aren't properly warm yet if you kill me if you fucking kill me I'm gonna have a dead start so right side, downside upside, downside the upside is

it's potentially a critical hit downside is you're gonna take damage from this attack just Just letting you know. Why was one of them an upside? It's an upside for me. Sounds sort of more like both downsides. As I bring the battle axe down.

I'm like, Trissa, you're helping, but we could have... What the fuck? Like, you've got to prepare a man when you cut off his limbs. No, no, no, this is the best way. No, you put a fucking bite in his mouth and you give him a health potion first, then you cut off the limb. I'm sorry, I don't bite off my tongue.

Now he's like in agony and unprepared. You dickhead. Why? Trisha, I wanted to say like... Why would you do this? I don't want to say queen of dickhead, but... Oh, God, it hurts. I think maybe you are queen of dickhead right now.

My body. Adam, don't pull that face. I feel really guilty already. I know it's not real, but... Another times three weapon. Good work. Oh, no. Idiot.

He's got two critical hit cards that I have to choose. Is one of them amputation? So the titles are... Pain and Simple. That's a good one. And Severed Tendon. Oh! Pain and Simple.

Pain and Simple. So you're going to laugh, because this is literally the same one you picked last time. Double damage and 2d6 non-lethal Okay Do I die? Have you killed me? In a brilliant display of intelligence

Once again Once again Shouldn't have made that joke about the moose before mate This is sweet revenge Why? I'm super bitter You're a petty little moe. 20 regular damage.

So you're unconscious. Are you? And then 7 non-lethal. So you're on 28 non-lethal. And you've taken 20 regular damage. Which means that you are negative 8. But it's negative 8 in non-lethal and you've taken 20 regular damage, which means that you are negative 8 but it's negative 8 in non-lethal

so you're not dying, you're just unconscious. The pain just blanks me out. You cut off both of his feet immediately. From shock, he collapses. Well done. Okay. First off, okay, I'm going to do like a little compliment sandwich.

Luckily, because it's non-lethal damage, you're not bleeding out. That's good. Somehow the wound either doesn't necessarily cauterize, but you know how when you cut an artery, it clenches up? Yeah, yeah. Your arteries in your legs have clenched up, so you're not bleeding out. All right. So first off, compliment sandwich.

Okay. You did well for taking initiative. Thank out. All right. So first off, compliment sandwich. Okay. You did well for taking initiative. Thank you. All right. So that's good work for thinking outside the box and just doing what needs to be done. Yeah, that's good. I think I'll just cheat out. Now, like, let us maybe don't do that because he's now unconscious and he could have prepared better.

The arrow? But good compliment is you did well by cutting it off So there we go So good, bad, good Right Yes Can I get you to make a highs and lows please? Sure, highs

So Trissa You look down as De Arrel You're not listening to De Arrel's speech? No, I listen to the start and the end I just tune down the middle Well, when you're tuning out, you look down at Chet to admire

your handiwork, and you're like, I missed some. Oh, no! He's unconscious. It's fine. We'll do it again. Before you do it again, I'm just going to feed some health potions to this boy and stabilize him or whatever. What's the health potion?

A potion of cure light wounds. So maybe three of them. I got some as well if you to this boy and stabilize him or whatever. What's the health potion? Potion of Cure Light Wounds. So maybe three of them. I've got some as well if you want to give me one. I've got a wand of Cure Light Wounds. I can't use it. Fuck my life. Fuck my stupid, stupid life.

So I give him three, I guess. Yeah, give him three. So you recover 24 hit points, which means you're completely out of... Yeah, you completely lose all that lethal damage. Yep. And you lose all the non-lethal damage you took from... Yeah, but not my snow damage. Yeah, but not the snow damage. That's good.

All right. So you're on 21 non-lethal right now. Am I back awake? Yeah, you wake up. You shouldn't let him wake up. It's fine. What just happened? Problem.

So we've cut off your legs, but we haven't cut off all of the leg we need to cut off. So good luck. I give him a book to buy it into. Teresa? The tornado on the other side of the room dissipates. And then out of the ground, a ghostly visage appears. Why is this all happening at once?

Slightly busy, friend. Hello, ghost. We're with you in one moment. Just go hang out with the wolf. He's doing a lap of the Bowery White Land. The wolf appears to be a human wearing snow-covered furs over a tattered robe its skin is pale and covered in a layer of frost and its face is lined with rivets of frozen blood covered in dark bruises the image is hazy and translucent suggesting something not natural. It points at you three

and lets out a deathly moan. Combat begins. We don't have time for this. We're going to cut off your legs again. All right. How do we kill a ghost? Quick tactic, Chit. Use that one of yours

and jab it into my neck. I'm exhausted right now. Healing does not fix exhaustion. That's fine. It'll heal up your physical. It'll be right. I'll jab it into his back and cast and then I'll arrange myself with my back to a wall so that I can cast spells.

Pooh brown. Thank you, Adam. Red. What have I got left with? Green. Yeah, good. Green. I like green. I like Pooh brown. I know you good. Green. I like green. I like poo brown. I know you do. Good. We have fun.

We get by. Okay. How many spells do I have left? Okay, let me just fucking work this shit out. I got two left there. I got fucking all of them. All of them? How do you kill?

Do you drink it? Do you drink a ghost? Do you drink a ghost? I just don't know. You could try and set it on fire. How about, well, that's no. We're in a wooden cabin. Plus, if that's gone, gee, what is there?

Just cold. Just cold and a wolf. Never mind. Just cold Just cold and a wolf It glides Silently and as if on wheels Over to Can we reason with him Chet, the one closest to death Why, please And it tries to grab you

If he makes it quick, that's good I suppose it quick, that's good. I suppose. I mean, we're at that point now, aren't we? Well, if my death is quick and painless, that's alright. I'll cop it. I feel as though death is inevitable.

Chet, you stumble backwards and try to roll and crawl away from it, and it's unable to reach you in time to actually deliver an attack. Trissa? Yes. It's your turn. How do you kill a ghost?

So a magical weapon might be able to harm it. Hey. All three of you have magical weapons. Like a fucking manacle. Really? Yeah, you got the gnomish Your sword catcher is magical No use that

Good stab him good Take his sword Take his ghost sword Have a ghost sword Oh Never mind Can I have a look? Maybe it isn't

But that's okay Because your shield is magical Bash it Yeah squish it Like not even kidding Bash it good Just fucking Yeah

So the gnomish sword catcher is not magical, but your shield is. So you could actually hit it with your shield. I'd like to squish a ghost, please. Yes. Captain America, that shit. Yes. Yes. Squish that ghost into a fine ghost paste.

Now I'm super into it. Yeah. All right, Cap. All right, Cappy Cap. No. Capper, Japanese mythological creature. For cutting off your legs potentially twice, but just calm down.

Once now, a potential second time in the future. Can we just do it with a knife this time? Like an axe? Just like a... Just saw it. That'll be worse. One big foul sweep, I guess, to get the bone. Yeah.

Fuck. Just let me die. Then we're just going to put your stumps in the fire Yep Yeah that's fine And smell like a barbecue I'm excited And then we need to fashion you

Fake feet Fake feet somehow Oh boy Okay Odds or evens? Um um um Evens Even Stevens

Because odds I don't know I got nothing Evens? As it drifts past you To try to get to Chet, you slam it with your shield. Yes. And you feel your shield bodily connect with the ghost.

Super good. Takes some damage. Yeah. I mean, it's not nothing. Hey, shield fight. That's sick as. The arrow. All right.

Halberd. And get him good. Not with power attack, because I'm scared. But vicious, though. And also, like, please go away. Don't hurt us. We tried. The werewolf is outside.

Get him instead. Get the wolf. Or the ravens. Ravens. Get the wolf. Get the wolf instead. Trying to, like, back demon ghost. You've lost all of your confidence.

Go, I'm so tired. It has been a long day. I'm exhausted. I just watched a good friend get his leg cut off. There's blood all over the place. It's freezing cold. Fire's good, though. Fire is pretty nice, but the wolf, he stopped for a bit, but that's good. We'll have a lot of business to take care of. Come's freezing cold. Fire is good, though. Fire is pretty nice. But the wolf, he stopped for a bit.

But that's good. Come on, ghost. Go for it. You slice at the ghost. And the entire time, because it's got this ethereal nature about it, the entire time when you swing, you're expecting your halberd to just go straight through it.

But instead of going straight through it, it connects very heavily with the ghost and you see the ghost stumble. Beck, go away. Chet. My plus one longsword. Is magical, yep. Am I close enough

that I can hit it? Yep, from the ground. Alright, I'll stab at it from the ground. Give it a tap. Huh? Give your longsword to the fucking gnome.

Oh yeah, true. I should. To someone you... Odds or evens? Evens. God, you guys are lucky. We're getting it. Lucky!

Really? Is that what you'd call our fucked up life? Well, you know, it doesn't get a single hit on you guys, and you just killed it. Hey! From the ground. How lucky are we? You stab upwards with your longswordwering the ghost the ghost crumples

in onto your sword and then just disappears into nothing when will it end uh i'll just quickly let you know like it probably isn't going to affect you guys much but when you kill a ghost oh no i what i want to cry it'll come back when huh sometime but it could take as long as a week oh that's all right then it could take between a day and a week but it will come back we'll kill a ghost that's all right we'll heal up tied to the body it it tied to the body? It's tied to the body, yeah. It won't follow you guys past. Throw the body out the window. We will. Oh wait, actually, I think it's tied to the place of its death.

Hang on, let me have a look. Throw the whole cabin out the window. The side of its... Sorry, it's tied to the place. We won't be here our whole lives. Rest up and, you know... You're probably safe for roughly a day. Well, safe is a relative term. The wolf howls again, and you can you're probably safe for roughly a day well safe is a relative term the wolf howls again and you can tell it's still outside

damn it so how about this look do we know it's going to come back the ghost? yeah you know it will come back eventually but it's a matter of time you need a cleric to properly exercise the ghost so we know that my sword or my halberd

your sword and her shield can do shit. Yes. So let's just hold up here for a bit. So when we need to, when we see it's coming and forming, we stab it. The ghost comes back and kills the ghost. It's good.

It's a good plan. Now we need to rest. That's a good way to build up XP. All right. The ghost spawns, you kill him. Sweet Luke. You guys were really lucky. All three of you hit.

Chet, how's your leg going? Because I know it's not going well. And I'm not happy about it, but at least you got off the black, you know? No. Don't think we have got it all. You look at your stumps, and you can see tiny splotches of black here and there. Around where the cut is. It'll need to happen again.

So here's a book. Bite down on the book, Adam. You know what to do? Yeah. I know what's going to happen. I'd like to do the same thing with the battle axe. What do you want to cut now?

I'll give you my leg in reality. Show me what you want to cut. Where do you want to cut now? Do the deed, as it were. I'll give you my leg in reality. Yeah, show me where you want to cut. I'm going to do something completely unlike me. Where your sock is. So about there. Okay, so I'm going to do something that's really quite rare. Hey, Zamit, you know how you've noticed all of this kangaroo and whatever? Where should I cut? Tell her where to.

You think? Well, do you want to be safe yes the safest place to cut would probably be above the knee oh oh fuck off if you wanted to risk it like above the knee you're giving him like a 90 chance of of no gangrene. Below the knee gives him more functionality, but it's probably going to be like 60% chance. I give Chet those options, those odds. So the way I see it, if I've got no feet, I'm basically fucked for legs.

If I've got no calves, there's no difference. What's a calf give me that a foot doesn't? Daryl, surprisingly, with his limited medical knowledge, explains to you there is a slight difference. Having the knee is important. Like, with the knee, you could get a prosthetic, and it'd be a lot easier on you. It's both legs, yeah?

Yeah, both legs. Oh, fuck off, I thought it was just one. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. Just, okay. Oh, fuck off, I thought it was one Okay, alright Okay, alright Just, okay Below the knee We got a gnome to make me new legs Below the knee

What's hanging, what are my chance below the knee Well, Daryl is guesstimating here So below the knee is probably A 60% chance of the gangrene returning Above the knee is maybe 90%. Of it not returning. Of it not returning, yeah. Well, look at this, I suppose. You take it off

below the knee and the gangrene comes back, you're just gonna go above the knee. Well, if the gangrene comes back, by the time you guys notice the gangrene's still there, you're gonna have to take a lot more than above the knee. Well, you can't get above my dick, so... Well, that might be death well fuck it'll be quick and easy just do it below the knee below the knee go just go

don't miss no what happened is it a critical success again fucking hell just get you one prepared to stab. So, I have a home rule where you get a 20, right? That's a critical chance. You roll again. If you get 20 to confirm the critical, you roll one more time. And this is only if you get two 20s in a row.

And then if you get a third 20, it's death. You just kill the person. Oh, Jesus. 20, 19 to confirm. Potential It's death, you just kill the person Oh Jesus 20 19 to confirm Potentially Ally might have missed so bad She cut your head off or something

Regardless, you did get a critical I did? You confirmed the critical You're good at cutting limbs off Hey, decapitation or swing through? Choose decapitation. Ali Caffley. I feel like I'm going to get in more trouble for that one.

For which one? For decapitation. I don't know. I don't know. There's too much power. There's too much power. There's too much power. Which one? Which one?

What do you mean, which? Like, this isn't... You are actually having trouble thinking which one to choose here. Wow. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait, hold on. Is decapitation my head?

Yes. It's the thing. It might be. It might be a claim. Follow through. Follow through. Why risk it, Ally? How is this even a choice for you? Because it might be like...

Do you hate Jackson? Do you want me to have no head? Follow through, Ally. I don't know, but one of them has a very, very good chance of killing Jackson. And I don't want to say which one. Okay, so here's the thing. Originally, I didn't know if... Like a really

good chance of killing Jackson. Okay, okay, okay. Right. When he said decapitation, I thought maybe it's like you could do, like you could decapitate your leg. Yeah, when you say it out loud, I'm telling that reasonable. Are you dense? Are you an idiot?

We were joking before about Trissa being a queen dickhead. No, no, no. I don't know what's D&D wording, okay? It's very confusing. I'd like to do follow through, swing through, whatever. So if you had picked decapitation, it would have been double damage. And Jackson would have needed to make a fortitude save or die outright. So let me give you, let me show you.

Okay, so three. Plus another three for your strength. Six, twelve. So Jackson would have needed to make a fortitude save of 22 or he would have died. Jackson's modifier for his fortitude is three. So on a 19 or a 20, Jackson would not have died. So good thing I picked the other one. Good thing you picked the fucking obvious answer.

Unfortunately, Swing Through has a really unfortunate downside of, I'm going to say, to help her out to Aral, you were holding Chet in a certain position. Oh, good. She cuts through Jackson. She cuts through Chet like a hot knife through butter. That's real good. And you the same. Oh, God. Hey, can I just say?

What have I lost? So, Chet, you take 12 points of damage. If I pick the other one, it would just be Jackson that died. I know. We could have just sacrificed him. It was bad either way. Yeah, I know. But, like, you picked the right choice.

I don't know how to... The arrow, you take six points of damage. That's fine. Does he lose anything? No, no, no. He's fine. You get a really bad cut across your arms, but you're fine. This one, good work.

Trissa, the cold does all weird things to our brains sometimes. Sometimes we look at leg and we're like, maybe that's neck. I just want to lean down. You must be hazy. Five times three multipliers. What a hectic time. Unconscious with pain. What?

Did we get the grand... Real quiet and be like, I don't like you. Yeah, she cut where she meant to. Did we get the game? She cut where she meant to last time. Are you okay? Are you all right? She's trying to kill me.

She just. Highs or lows? Would you like a health potion? Hey, highs or lows? Do you have any health potions? He's got them. Lows. He's got a wand.

He can just stab himself. No, no. I've got some health potions. I'll give you a health potion. No, use the wand. Don't trust her health potions. I'm so scared. You didn't even hear what she said?

What'd she say? Nothing. Nothing. Here, I've got a health potion for you. What did she say? Nothing. Nothing. Here, I've got a help. What did she say? I'd like to give her a look. Nothing. She said nothing.

What did she say? She said she doesn't like me. She let in a whisper. I don't like you. She's trying to kill me. All right. Trissa, do you want to just go near the body of Trapper Inspect him a little bit See the walls

No it's fine here I've got a health potion for you No no no He got the wand No no no I'm okay I'm fine Thank you Trissa

Thank you very much Thank you Trissa Good luck He's got a check body Can you wand yourself And then me Because this hurts Jab myself with a wand

Heal up I'm so scared Okay Good So Because this hurts. Jab myself with a wand. Heal up. I'm so scared. Okay. Good. So. Give a quick scan of his legs to see if I have to do that again. Please.

The cut was as good as it could have been. You just have to wait. Good luck. Let's soak them stumps in. You'll probably know in less than a week's time. You'll know. You're not sure exactly when, but if a week passes and it hasn't come back,

he's probably fine. All right, I'll soak my stumps and try and heal the rest of them. Cauterize them first, then we'll soak them. Do all that kind of stuff and be like, just keep jabbing me and you with that wand. Get us all full to health. Trissa, you go over there and inspect. I didn't have a quick go.

What did she say? What's going on? Are you also healing Trissa? Nothing. She said nothing. Are you also healing Trissa? Uh, yeah. No, no, it's okay.

I'll say, no, no, I got this. I have a potion of Cure Light Wounds. I'd like to use it. Okay, knock off a potion of Cure Light. You're at full hit points, Trissa. Thanks. Also, I'm going to say it's been long enough that you guys heal your non-lethal damage from the snow.

Good. I mean, not good because I have no fucking legs, but good. All right. Okay, so just give me a tick. I'm going to do a bunch of rolls. Then let's assess what's in the cabin that we can use as legs. Yeah. Book legs.

Everyone's favorite game. Book legs. Shove them in under my knee. Walk on foot. Or can I make a little, what is it, pompoos? Yeah, pompoos. Popoos? A what?

A little popoos. Like a popoos that he can carry me in. Oh, gee. You're a fuckingose that he can carry me in. You're a fucking half-orc. You heavy bitch. You cannot papoose my body unless you want to cut off my arms as well. A little bit. A little bit.

Maybe I don't like you either. Take my chances with the wolf. Maybe we kill the wolf and use the wolf legs. Hey. Maybe the druid that we're meant to be going to see, maybe he will have legs. Yeah, maybe the druid can give me like... Maybe we can cut off his legs and then you can...

So they're on my body! Triss is insane. I think the snow has driven her mad. She got snow madness. It takes you ten uses of your wand, but all three of you are fully healed now. The wand has healed your physical injuries, but will it heal your ice and snow madness?

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