D&D is For Nerds - Return to Grace #1 Mentopa

Episode Date: October 12, 2024

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We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily with Palaton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Palaton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Palaton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push. Find your power. Palaton. Visit OnePalaton.ca Once upon a time there was a peaceful village at the bottom of a beautiful hill. But these things cannot last.

Eventually, inevitably, an evil army, led by a villainous man, came and took that which wasn't his. But these things too cannot last, as one day a brave girl wearing glass slippers snuck into the villainous man's castle and took back what wasn't his. But these things too cannot last, as one day, a brave girl wearing glass slippers snuck into the villainous man's castle and took back what wasn't his. For her bravery, the village made her their leader. And for her grace, they gave her a name. Stephanie, you are a teenager, 15 to be precise. You are in the town of Mentopa,

the village nearby your father's ancestral home, the House of Grace. It is a university city? Well, it's not so much a university city. The city exists to cater to the university. There is nothing except a university here and then facilities to cater to the university. When your father told you, at first when your father told you this morning that you were going to school, Oh!

You thought perhaps because the university is so close, Yeah. It's less than an hour's walk, even less by horse, you thought that this would be where you're going. But instead you are being sent to the other side of the country to a boarding school to learn leatherworking. I mean, did the university have a leatherworking program? I guess it probably would have. Yeah. Is the boarding school I'm going to better known for their leatherworking?

You've never heard of this school before in your life. Even though I really like, okay, all right. And when you say the other side of the country, like small country or Kandor is one of the bigger countries. All right. So how long, how long by foot? And by foot, it would be maybe six months. And by horse.

Probably half that that's not really here nor there though. It could be only a day away. It could be minutes away, but it's a boarding school You are going to be living there for the next six years And how long are the courses at the university? Well, it depends on what sort of course that you're taking if I took leather working at the university How long would that be it? Would this be and this would be something that you like I said you found out this morning

I found out this morning. I found out this morning that I'm going to school. I'm guessing he sent me there because I've shown some interest in fiddling with, like I don't really know much about it, but like I've, I've done bits of just like, you know, crafty stuff, but. Yeah. Okay. So, okay.

So he really liked the crafts I've made him. And so he wants me to get really good at that. Cause he thinks I am good at that. And you know, really, like really good artists focus really hard on what they do. Like, do you know in, in old, old times, how you, you know, you could, I'm sure, you know, it's, I mean, it's not my ancestral home, but it's his, but like, I'm sure there would have been times where they would like, you know, they put up a really promising painter or bard or something, um, just to like put them up with like a, you know, the room of board and stuff. So they can just really focus on their art. And I mean, like he couldn't do that with me yet,

because I don't know the skills enough to, to do, but maybe after this six year, oh, I'm like, I wonder if I could just pick up enough early to come home and cause it would be cheaper than a boarding. I don't think he's short on money though. Um, well, okay. So maybe he wants me to get the best education I can. Um, and six years is, that's a good amount of education and I'll, does that mean I'm not going to see him again until I'm an adult? Okay. We can, I can buy him a beer. That's, that'll be nice. And I found out this morning. Yeah. So my weekend plans Kalina Featherbottom the halfling who raised you You're for a period nursery maid, but now just kind of one of the regular maids and well, yeah You're your minder. She is here with you. You can see that her eyes are a bit puffy and red.

No tears are coming out, but every now and then you see that she looks at you, her upper lip quivers a little bit, and then she looks away. It seems difficult for her to form any words right now. LESLIE Oh, um, are you coming with me? WILL No, my lady. I will be remaining at the home. Oh. But I will visit. She looks at you and you can see now it's not the dam is burst, the dam is leaking. A single tear is rolling down her face.

I have many, many accrued time that I may take from the home and I will use it to see you. Well, can't you work for me? It would bring me great happiness to be able to see you through your education, but unfortunately your... she looks away... father, she looks back at you, has instructed that I am to remain here and there will be other jobs for me. What's your new job? I will be as one of the other maids,

cleaning, cooking, assisting in many of the household tasks. But we all, she looks around, and you can see there are a few other members of the household staff that came here with you. There's some of your father's coachmen, and perhaps the butler as well are here. Some of them are, oh no, anyone here actually, anyone here right now is looking at you with kind of commiseration. Like they're

sad to see you go. No one is as broken up about it as your old nursery maid, but they are definitely upset. Not every member of staff are here, but I would say most of the household staff are here. Does that mean I'm getting sent off like right now? Yeah, you are in town waiting for the coach that will take you. Woof! Okay, I'm really going to miss you guys. You can see that she's fighting it back still, and after a moment of silence, she manages

to kind of, it begins tumbling out of her, and she, her chest begins heaving, the tears begin coming, the dam has now burst. We, we, we got you this, she says. She produces a little package from underneath her coat. Oh, I take it, what is it? Present. You open it up, and inside there is a locket. You open the locket, and you see there is a picture of a

little painted portrait. It's quite tiny so there's not a lot of fine detail, but you know enough to know that it is in one picture it is of you and Kalina and then in the other one there is the entire staff of the house. Oh this is so nice. I put it straight on. Thank you. She comes in for a hug. You are a teenager, but nonetheless as a halfling, she still really only comes up to your waist. Oh, I bend down a bit, really scoop her up in it. She gives you a fierce, strong hug, and you feel two little spots of wetness where she's

crying essentially into your shirt. Ew, no. No. Several of the other household staff come in for tearful hugs as well. This is really nice, guys. From behind you, you hear, yeah, yeah, and the coach that will be taking you to university, well, to a university, pulls up behind you. So Grace, did you come to see your daughter off?

No. That was my next question was, I look around for dad? He did not come with you. I think the last you would have seen of me is a wave as you left the house, Grace, for the town. And then I would have turned around and gone back inside. Nearly a decade and a half has passed since that day. Tiffany Grace, you stand once more in Mentopa in almost literally the exact same place as where you were that day.

It feels too familiar, uncomfortably so. There's a bad memory about this place for you, and the energy feels awful. Pop, you are also here. Oi oi. You can see Tiffany is having a moment. She visibly stopped. A lot of cogs turn. Let's, let's Tiffany have the moment.

Um, I feel for a locket that is no longer there. What happened to it? I got a crush on someone at university and I didn't know how to express that for them, so I bound the locket in leather and gave it to them with a love note inside. They never opened it. Oh, that's good. I kept the pictures though. Every detail is sad. Every, every detail. I kept the pictures though. Every detail is sad. Every detail.

I kept the pictures. In tow with you are the Lich Archmage, Velyndra Shadowmantle. That's my good friend Velyndra, yes, yes, yes. Yes, your good, good friend. Going to kill her at some point. The Tabaxi Guide, Flask of Wine. A good friend, Flask, yes. The elf Starfallen, who you'll recall was trapped in a lantern and you freed her. Yes, yes. She said she'd come help you because of companionship and also a feeling of like, you helped her, she should help you.

Yep. Yeah, more like Star-Risen, am I right? Yeah! Risen as in rising or risen? Like as in, like she's risen. Yeah. Risen you up rising or risen? Like she's risen. Risen you up. She's risen us up. Okay, fabulous.

Unkey Dick and his wife Lady Ware are not with you. They have gone to their ancestral home, Ware House. After your return from Chulp, all of you agreed that both of your houses, House Grace and House Ware, have not insubstantial resources literally in the house, in the building, that you should go collect. Unki Dick and Lady Ware, as their property is still quite maintained and they know the start, they left staff there to look after everything. They know that everything's going to be fine. They traveled on their own. You, Tiffany, have Velyndra, flask of wine, and Starfallen in tow with you, just in case,

because you don't really know what's going on. And also, if Sir Grace is in any way still connected to your old ancestral home, it might be quite dangerous. That's also why Pop's here. Definitely. That's definitely why Pop is here. Yes. Definitely. That's definitely why Pop is here. There is no guilt that needs atoning for. Tiffany, you are aware that your father kept relics, powerful magical items. They should be collected, absolutely. They'll be very useful. There is also a treasury, literally gold, kept on premises, though you aren't exactly

sure where they're kept. That was not something you were privy to as a child. Just a quick question. Did you say relics? I had actually forgotten. No, no, I'm a changed man. Well, you know, I mean, dad's, dad's not quite here anymore, right? And I, we want him back, but.

Do we? I mean, dad's, dad's not quite here anymore. Right. And I, we, we want him back, but do we? I mean, sure. We do want him back because he, he does so much for you. He does. Yeah. He, I wouldn't have a father if not for him. I mean, that's technically correct.

That's technically correct. No, but like, you know, I would just would have been left somewhere. Absolutely. Like in a box of mandarins. I get that. So technically he has done a thing for you. He paid for all of my education. He certainly did. And how far away was that from your ancestral home again?

Oh, it was, it was, it was here. It was like, it was in. Yeah, like in, yeah, of course. It was in Kandor. He didn't send me, you know. Yeah, no, of course. I apologise. I'm getting a bit... as rude of me. No, that's alright. Um...

I'm working on it. No, and you... yeah, no, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. No, no, no, I should apologise. I brought you into my space and I'm making it all about me. No, it is... it should be. It is your... I'm here to help. No, no, no, no, no.

It's basically the chest. And thank you. I really thank you. You're welcome. And we can take some relics to the museum. I think that's, I think, I think Dad would understand. He was nothing if not honorable. Vilyndra interjects.

I have business to attend to in the university. Oh, sure. There's a university? That must be new! That's fucking funny, Cass. Where are the good boys and bad boys? Fuck, that's great. Man, I forgot about the reward system.

I'm gonna be chasing those rewards. Cass, draw a good boy card. I have a business in the university. I, there is a professor there I wish to speak to on matters of arcane knowledge. What, what? What business? Can we? She narrows her eyes at you, Pop, and she looks like she isn't gonna say anything initially,

but then Tiffany, when you ask, she turns to you and there's a begrudgingness But she does she does say more to you than the pop it is a Discussion well there is a debate. I wish to have with this person he believes quite fervently that there is a limit to astral magic concerning speeds and I wish to demonstrate to him that there is not one. I sort of like, really like knock on pops shell. Like we don't want to be near that.

We don't want to be near that. That guy doesn't want to be near that. That's not a debate. That's a murder. Why have I knocked your shell before? Maybe you haven't been this close before. I think maybe we're getting there. I take that as a sign because I'm learning to be less rude, less me. To not ask questions.

Whether that's what the knock intended. Who's to say? Good luck! Belindra from Within A pocket produces a coin. She hands it to you, Tiffany. The coin, when you raise it to the heavens, it will summon me. Oh, I don't want to be a bother. Should you need. I assume. Wait, you're coming back. You're coming back, right? I will not be leaving town. Oh, cool. Just like me at university. It should not take too long to have the debate, but should you need me in between times? Just the idea of me going to

university. There's this guy at this university, right? He reckons bullets can't go that fast. I'm going to do a demonstration and show him. I can actually do this way of showing him. That's not true. They're very fast. They're really quick. Anyway, you may summon me through this if things prove dangerous at the manor. Thank you. Do not, perhaps this goes without saying, should Sir Grace's influence there be obvious, do not enter. Not at least until you have collected myself. She looks around and you can see Flask of Wine is just gone.

He's just gone. Did we notice him later? No, we didn't. No, you didn't. He's just gone. The Starfallen is still here. She takes a step forward. You can see she is quite clearly,

her face has become increasingly worried as Velidra has spoken more and more. Yeah, we definitely didn't tell any of these people what we were getting in for, partially because Pop doesn't totally know. Tiffani wouldn't have said. Well, cause there's no, we don't know that it'll be that bad. Like it might be like, I don't know. It could just be your old house. It could just be my old house.

Like I kind of want to go back to my old house. Here's a fun philosophical question for Tiffani. What would be worse? If it was Inky Black Evil, or if it was just Sir Grace at home? Yeah. Just- Ponder on that for a bit. Ruminate away!

The Starfall leans in. I- I see no- no evil of great power within range. If Sir Grace is, as you say, he is possessed by an otherworldly entity or some otherworldly entity is acting within him, I would feel its ripples through, well, through the very natures of reality itself. I feel the manna will be safe from Grace at least. Velindre has begun leaving. Well it's a question. She said I feel no evil of great power. That's what she said.

As Velyndra's walking away. You love me? No evil of great power here. That's bizarre. What about evil of like pre-good power? Average power. Velyndra ignores you. Very firmly ignores you.

Man, I'm, she gonna kill me. The Star-Fallen ignoring pop leans into you, Tiffany, and says, I fear what Vellindra may do to this man. I wish to also, if you would be okay with it remain in town to prevent a crime I fear what would happen if she does attack him because I'll be in the middle I Will also not be too far if you If you can find any piece of nature grass a tree anything touch it with your bare hands And I will know you will call for me should you need me

Is there like grass on the ground that I can put in my pocket Yeah, I was gonna take like a daisy or something to put in my hat There would be yeah, but if she watches you do that she says it must be you cannot take it like that It will not work. Oh, that's not really an indoor plant kind of guy I think I have I think I have a spell for that. I think I can grow a tray I think we're good. I will come running as soon as you as soon as you alert me, but I I look Belendro is becoming a speck The star fallen looks back at you. I wish to impress upon you very strongly. I

I am only doing this because I am genuinely afraid someone's about to die. I pull out my big sword, my very big sword. Starfall, we got this. You alright? She nods. I put it back. I promise I'll let you know if one of us starts dying. She brings you in for a hug very quickly.

Oh hell yeah! This is the second best hug I've ever had at this location. The Starfallen turns to you, Pop, and she also hugs you before following after Velindra. When she hugs you, Pop, she pulls in close and whispers just for you, Keep yourselves safe. Yes, ma'am. She turns and runs. Hug.

Big leaf. Big leaf. It's now just the two of you? You know what? He'll be right. He'll be fine. He's gone now to the Wels. Did you want to head in? To the manor? Yeah, sure.

We came here to go to the manor. Yeah, let's go, let's go. What else would we do? I'm walking. I was psyching myself up. I'm walking in now. Okay, so we're going into the manor. It's alright.

I know where the door is. Obviously, you, yep, you're going to the manor. I'm going to the manor. I'm going to the manor. I'm going to the manor. I'm going to the manor walking. I was psyching myself up. I'm walking in now. Okay, so we're going into the manor. It's alright, I know where the door is. Obviously, you know where the door is.

Why am I saying that, oh my god. Alright, the two of you take the long winding path up a nearby, not mountain, more than a hill, a something in between. While we're walking up to the manor over the grassy knoll, I'm like, so, um, just, just, so we're ready, like on a scale of one to bad, where we sitting? What's your gut feel, eh? On the manor? Oh, um, I think it will be surprising.

I think, I think it'll, I don't think it can be that bad. It can't be as bad as what I'm thinking of. Well, I'm gonna let you in on that bad. It can't be as bad as what I'm thinking of. Well, I'm going to let you in on a secret. It always can. Honestly, generally in my experience, every time it is. So just so we're ready, look, I'm ready. I said I'd come here with you, you know, I'll support you in whatever endeavor you need, you are my friend.

And, you know, we're going to go in there. But just I need to know what I'm up against, right? We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts.

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No. I mean, is he, is he, or is he not under some kind of curse? Well, I think, I think he needs help, but I, I wouldn't. We don't kill him? No. I'll wait for your signal. Yeah. I think we should just hear him out.

Okay. Pop has said, we'll hear him out internally. I'll rip that man's head off if I have to. I mean, if Starfall doesn't suspect great evil, then it, it can't, it can't be as bad as what I was fearing, right? The natural slope of the hill, places where it becomes inaccessible, impassable, and the trail must slowly curl around such features, forms a impenetrable but natural barrier or defenses almost. While

this place, the moment you see a pop, you see, you know how like Buckingham Palace is a castle, but it's- Yes, it's a big house. Yeah, it's just a big house. Yeah. Really actually a defensive structure. Yeah. You can see that the that Grace Manor is more more a big house than an actual defensive structure or that is its design. But with the addition of these natural fortifications, you would imagine it would actually be quite difficult to take the building. Yeah. This is these are are, these are siege-proof hills.

Pretty much. Yeah. Grace is clever. Pop is raising the danger level internally, a fractum. Does this look like the kind of thing that if you were to be able to get in, it's going to be really tricky to get out? Probably not.

No, it would be a lot easier to get out than it would be to get in. Cause you can jump a lot of the... But you do have to get in. You can jump down. Like if you brought an army here, you'd be fucked. They've got the high grounds, a lot of stuff. Well thank god there's only two of us. Good thing there's just two people.

Christ almighty. I have a very big sword. The first thing you see is the tops of four, five, sorry, yeah, five towers. There are five towers to Grace Manor, one on each corner and then one additional in the middle of the western side. When you reach the peak of the hill, you see that the path becomes a little bit nicer, it becomes paved rather than the gravel that you were walking on previously. And there's this very pretty white alabaster driveway or carriageway, I would imagine it's

more called, that slowly circles around the front of the building. And there's a beautiful fountain with a swan in the center of it and a neat little row of bushes that look like they've only recently stopped being maintained. Does it look suspiciously fine? That is what I'm asking. Pot, scanning the building, you see nothing very suspicious, though you do notice there are several chimneys to the manor. One of them is there's a little bit of smoke curling upwards.

You can see someone has a fire lit within. Does it look like it's being maintained to a degree or like it's just starting to just starting to stop? It looks like it's just starting to become a bit messy. But that someone has been attempting to maintain it. Yeah, neither of- Because if the timeframe, from what I know from Tiffany and just stuff,

it would be well beyond repair by this point if that was the timeframe, correct? Yeah, it would have well beyond repair by this point if that was the time frame, correct? Yeah, it would have been months since someone was here last with the exception of any servants that might still be here Okay, so it's oh Maybe some maids that I might know maybe we're gonna have to kill those maids. You know that they're all inkied up We don't know that actually as you walk around the carriageway Tiffany when you get close enough to the swan sculpture in the middle of the fountain, you are six. You're staring up at the swan statue.

It's so much bigger than it is now, obviously. You're six. But staring up at the swan statue, silently wondering to yourself why you don't have friends. So, Grace, one of the servants has come to fetch you. They can't find your daughter. I'm sure she'll be in the ground somewhere. Tiffany, you're standing outside. You're standing outside the entrance again, staring at the swan statue.

And did I have the, sorry, the ugly duckling where I'm from? There would be an equivalent story, yeah. The hideous freak. Written by Sir Grace for his daughter. I would almost guarantee that if you go to your room, there will be a bunch of books. And among those books, there would be absolutely, your nursery maid, Kalina, would have read you the ugly duckling many times. Really trying to reinforce that one for you.

Yeah. No, not one dad purchased me though. No, no, definitely not. Okay. Well, I'm looking at this one now and being like, wow, it did just take a lot of time. Didn't it? The book was right. It just took a while.

And now I have a friend. Oh, brother. We, something in the fountain? You were, you were lost in the, is it a spell in the fountain? I could smash it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just, I just haven't seen it in a while. Right.

When was the last time you were here? I think I've been gone longer than I lived here. I can relate to that. Did you ever go back to the orphanage? Go back to the orphanage? Go back to the orphanage. That's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, I like going into hell.

That's my favourite place. Yeah, that's good. I like setting myself on fire and stabbing myself in the eyes with knives. Definitely. Definitely like that. Walking in a wasp's nest with my dick out. That's perfect. Yeah.

A hundred percent. Definitely went back to the orphanage. That's good horns. I consider everything we've done. You speak about the orphanage in all terms, worse than being in- did we literally go to hell at one stage? No, we're in a lot of bad spots. Oh yeah.

It was hell adjacent for sure. We saw like the death persona. We did. We saw where all the souls- We're in the biggest dungeon of all time. Orphanage was worse. Orphanage was way worse. They fed you three meals a day.

With nice cutlery. You spend enough time outside by the fountain, you hear a voice from inside the building calling out, who's there? Watch out or I'll run you through. Familiar voice? You are, I mean, obviously a lot older, but it is definitely a familiar voice. The cook, Harry F, wanders out. In one hand, he's propping himself up. He has a, not a cane, but a walking frame. He's only holding it with one hand though. He's holding a butcher's knife in

the other one. I just very corner my mouth. I can fucking take him, you just give me a look. Harry? Why he rubs, he puts the knife down. I could definitely take him now. Rubs both of his eyes, he drops the knife, literally. Oh the idiot, he's unarmed now.

You can see, both of you can see quite plainly, his eyes, when he stops rubbing them, they come away a little milky, he quite obviously has trouble seeing now. Why, is that you, Tiffany? Harry! Can I run up and scoop him up? Yeah, sure, absolutely. He's a little no-go. He's bigger than now, yeah. I can tell from the voice. Why, it's been too long. How are you, ma'am?

Oh, I'm doing well. I feel really touched that he's not pointing out how fucked I look. But my lady, you look so fucked up. Classic Harry F. He really says that? Yeah. Oh. Um, Pop steps forward on the polite part.

I'm a lot bigger than Harry F right. I'm a little yeah He's the size of one of my legs. Yeah That's not very nice thing to say well. I'm known for my quick wit and my Who is this mad man so crazy? Yeah, he's a cook you never see here. I didn't look at TV and just like, I'll punt him. What's your favorite breakfast food? Big juicy sausage, mashed potato. You want me to make you a sausage, taters and all fixin' and whatnot?

Oh yeah, I look at Pop like, do we have time? I look at him like, yes, two?? Yeah, I look at him and I'm like, yes, two? Two? They're really, really good. Of course. Pop is not going to, ah, that'd be rude. I promise you. God damn it. This old fucker's

lost the lot, but he hasn't lost his cooking abilities. Is this known just like,...senile Gordon Ramsay? Just rude and a brilliant chef. Well anyway, come on in, he says. We follow him, which I imagine takes quite a while. You look pretty fucked up too, what are you? A witch do that to you? He starts slowly turning himself around with his little walking frame Harry

What? You know I'm famous I am I Really want to cast a spell on Could I fix his eyes with lesser restoration you what about healing spirit Adam could I fix his eyes with you actually probably can with lesser restoration great right now you're just blurry outlines what are you doing just as he turns around I just flick him in I don't know how this restoration works but this is how it's gonna work for me I flick him in the back of't know how Lesser Restoration works, but this is how it's gonna work for me. Sure.

I flick him in the back of the head like you do with like a kid when you flick him on the ear, and as I do that, I just cast Lesser Restoration on his eyes. He stops for a second, turns back to look at you. Everyone can tell you just cast the spell, and you watch as the cloudiness in his eyes fades and then completely disappears. Wow, thank you there. Just wanted to make sure you could see me clearly so when I punch you in the face you could see it clearly.

I see why you keep this one around. He's real useful if you're going blind. I can make you blinder, just know that too. Oh, I'm sure you can. Are you a big old brute? Anyway, let's get you inside, get you some breakfast. It's probably closer to dinner time right now. That's alright. I think he likes you.

Pop is really confused by this man. He is both rude but friendly and that is a combination that is baffling. Short, glaring... Should it be baffling? Because that's Pop! Yeah, if that's where you want to live. You're shocked that this isn't an option. And he said, I could be this man. I'm sorry. D&D is for nerds plus, the symbol not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to SansPants Plus members. The further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests. And D&D is for nerds not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest.

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