D&D is For Nerds - Return to Grace #9 Daughter of Mothers

Episode Date: December 7, 2024

Sign up to the pre-launch of the Jarren's Outpost Board Game on Kickstarter and keep up to date by heading to jarrensoutpost.com or checking out all the links here!Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out Imagination Adventures+ on our website or on Apple Podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Once upon a time there was a peaceful village at the bottom of a beautiful hill. But these things cannot last as an evil army led by a villainous man came and took what wasn't his. But these things too cannot last as one day a brave girl wearing glass slippers snuck into the villainous man's castle and took back what wasn't his. For her bravery the village made her their leader and for her grace, they gave her a name Tiffany you bring your head up and slam your head down onto cinder You feel something gentle tuck underneath your chin Preventing you from bringing your head down upon the point of cinder She slowly pushes your head back up and you slowly regain control of your body.

My mom? Pop, at this exact moment, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, a ghostly figure appears. Each one of them is either a corpse you have felled already. Or I'm about to. Pop, you were the first to spot this. I'm gonna write this down.

Because Tiefenny hasn't seen it yet. Okay. I'm gonna read the note that Adam just handed me. Don't read it, just react. To myself. You know, I'm just gonna go outside the studio for a minute. I'll be back. He's leaving. He's full on leaving. He left. He left. He had the gold.

Oh my god, what is this? He's standing through the little window into the studio. He's standing and pointing it at him and screaming abuse. He's saying fuck you, fuck you, flipping Adam off. Really good at soundproof. I see why he left. Horns over here. Fuck you. Fuck you flipping out of her really good at soundproof. I see why he left. Yeah Horns over here Tiffany you turn around and you can see pop. Would you like to say cinder grace is a tiefling? Yeah, yeah look look wait there is! This is the note I got! Cinder is a tiefling! What?!

Your original ancestor looks like you do! I gotta go! See ya, guys! So long! She's leaving! Bye! She's leaving the studio! That's crazy! Man! Man! So she's leaving yeah, she's full man Here we go, we're gonna get a photo we'll share this where the episode goes out That's good stuff.

We're creating magic here. Welcome back. How was that side? Was it good? Was it nice? Where'd you go? Is she blue? With no color, the ghosts are just, they are all, well, she, yes, they are all a pale ghostly

blue color, but looking at her immediately you recognise your jaw, you recognise your ears, you recognise your horns, you recognise your cloven hooves. Nothing bad happened, it's just genetics. You can't see her colour. You can't see the hue of her skin, but you look so much like her. That painting of her as a human being is fake. I wonder who could have done that? Hey, can I ask a question?

I need to just ask a question for historical purposes, and Pop doesn't know this information and neither does Tiffany. At what point did that painting change? I don't know if that painting would have been Sir Grace. I believe that it would have probably been a dark secret. Sure, yeah. For the Graces. Yeah, going back quite a few generations, possibly people like Aloysius Grace knew about

it. Probably Caratacus with his gold teeth. Probably Caratacus with his gold teeth that painted over it. But yeah, for a while. I don't think, this might, clearly, this is not something even Sir Grace knew about. Oh my God. Yeah.

Okay, good stuff. And all the ghosts have been hanging out, so my mom knew, in Ghostland. Wow, yes, but you know, she didn't have much of an opportunity to explain. Oh no, no, no. So Grace didn't know, presumably your mom didn't know either.

Does she know from Ghostland now? Or did she find out now too? Look, there's no way for me to know it, there's no way for you to know it. That's when her spirits work. This is just all going through Tiffany's mind. Cinder, with a graceful pirouette, slams both, briefly leaves the ground, uses her tail to quickly adjust her balance, and slams both of her feet into the corpse that was once her. The corpse, Cinder, slams onto Holy Avenger.

I drag it up. Hell yeah. You deal 29 points of damage the corpse of cinder is neatly destroyed crumbling part to dust part to Pieces and holy avenger love zombies. I give holy avenger a little kiss for dragon bait Pop you have a very satisfied look on your you're very satisfied feeling sorry Yeah, and you can see behind or across from you sorry the ghost of cinder gives you like a smile and a grateful nod then looking over your

shoulder a look of dismay comes on her voice and Thudu calls out from behind what do you do I spin around with holy avenger oh yeah lady in L drives her dagger into your heart. God damn it, I forgot about this one. I thought she was helping. You take... Two points. I just like...

Alright. That's the zombie's turn. She wasn't a fighter. Yeah. Nah, she wasn't. It just sort of goes... She wasn't a fighter. Yeah. Nah, she wasn't. I just... It just sort of goes... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Oh, one by one they take turns attacking. Angus Grace attacks first. What was his ancestral weapon?

It would have been a mace, the Grace mace. Of course. Angus Grace, a mountain of a man, swings the mace and strikes the alhoun. The mace passes through the alhoun as if, well, as if it was a ghostly weapon. It does not actually touch the alhoun, but you see its head turns to the side and blood splatters the side of the stand that it's on. Miranda Grace, what was her ancestral weapon? Would have been a spear. Miranda Grace looking at you, Tiffany, from the other side of the Alhoun gives you a nod and drives her spear into the Alh, pinning it in place. Then, Aloysius Grace.

He was a lover, not a fighter, so probably spells. Bardic spells. Aloysius Grace, he's just a singer. Every bit of the Lothario strings on a ghostly lute and sings a ghostly tune. You see nothing, but out of his mouth a literal giant, like, note notation forms and then slams into the al-Hoon. Okay, Doctor Strange. The al-Hoon doubles forwards and more blood splatters down its front. Uh, Karatekus, Grace?

He would have had some mad implement of violence. Something that doesn't even look like it. Probably a hammer, but it looks fucked up, you know? I feel like he was an inventor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Karatikas parts thrown in it. He has a hammer and there's just a sword sideways on the bottom. That man wields a contraption.

Yes, it's a doodad, dude. He wields a chainsword. The chainsword slams into the base of the alhoon, and if you could hear it, you imagine it would sound exactly like a chainsaw. Not that any of you know what a chainsaw is, but you see the teeth spinning around. Smoke coming out the back. Like with the mace, it passes through and doesn't seem to actually be touching, but where it passes through, the alhoun's guts and innards disconnect, cut neatly as if it had been there.

Abner Grace. Legislature. Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Abner Grace! But he might have had a ceremonial sword. For functions. Abner Grace reaches for his ceremonial sword, thinks better of it, and then with the book

that he always carried and always carries, he slams it on the alhoun's head. The alhoun's head caves inwards a bit. There's a lot of policy in that book. Oh yeah. Phineas Grace, also a wizard, probably throws another spell. This one is probably less obvious than... Aloysius? Aloysius, yeah.

It's probably, it looks like a magic missile essentially. And then finally, Cinder Grace, similar in a way to Miranda, launches forwards with her bastard sword, using it, some might say, like a rapier. Very delicately and elegantly, she drives it in. Tiffany, you recognize immediately though, the exact same movements that Miranda used with her spear. It looks like the bastard sword is being used almost as a spear. With the bastard sword and the spear, the alhoon is pinned neatly in place. She cannot speak but nonetheless she screams, Cinder screams at you with an urgency now. No words, just mouthing it at you. Your mother helps you grip the spear tightly and...

I drive it into its head at long last. It got hit in the head with a book. You drive the spear straight through the alhoun's head. The psionic scream ends. And then all is silent. The crypt begins to settle and the darkness recedes. With a thump, the owl, what's left of its innards, release the book and it drops with an almost lack of fanfare. It drops to the ground. Torches that you had previously not seen light along both sides of the crypt,

and suddenly the confined space no longer feels dark and uncomfortable. It feels nonetheless a place of quietness, but a place of peaceful quietness. The ghosts slowly one by one begin to step back and fade away. What about your mom's corpse? Does it just go... Oh yes, I'm so sorry. As soon as the alhoon is destroyed, your mother's corpse... I catch it.

Okay, yeah. Before it hits the ground. You do so. It stabbed me, but you know. Yeah, it didn't know what it was doing. Yeah. Looking back at Pop Catching Lady Annelle, you see first Abner Grace gives you a nod like good.

That is the correct thing to do. You should have done that. I don't like you because you're a gross turtle man, but you have done the right thing. And one by one, the ghostly figures step back and begin to fade away. No. Abner first. Keraticus second. Phoenix with a nod of respect to you, Tiffany. Aloysius turns around like he's expecting something else to happen, but then he fades from the line.

I feel like Aloysius would leave with an extremely elaborate bow. Maybe, you know what? Yeah, you're right. Aloysius gives it an extremely elaborate bow. Angus looks, Angus is the one who looks around as if he's expecting something else to happen. And then he fades to Miranda is among the last. She withdrawing the spear, looks at the spear that you hold. Tiffany gives you a respectful nod, like she's proud of you. And then she steps back and two fades away.

The last two to remain are Lady Annelle, your mother, and Cinder. I just, I, can I stand, can I stare at them both? I just want to stare at them both. Both your eyes like a chameleon. They- I try and, I know I can't touch them, I reach out for them. If you reach out for either one of them your mother more so but cinder also They reach back as if they long to hold you but your hands just pass through each other I don't want to touch their heads. I can't do it, but I try your mother is is

sobbing uncontrollably tears are streaming silently down her face and Anytime she closes her eyes her mouth Opens in a silent whale, but then when she opens her eyes again She the it feels like some emotion within her breaks and she half laughs looking at you But then the the cycle just seems to happen again and again. She is devastated and so happy at the same time and again and again. She is devastated and so happy at the same time. Cinder is a bit more reserved, but you see that her eyes tear a little bit looking at you. Slowly, as if she's trying to hold on for every second, your mother does too begin to fade. Bye, Mom.

Before she's gone completely, when she's nothing more than maybe just a head and hands, she reaches out for one last attempt at a hug, but her hands pass through you and with one last gasp, mouths unmistakably, I love you. And then she is gone. Cinder remains still. She too is fading, but you can see her just power is intense enough or maybe connection to this place, you're not sure. She points at Cinder in your hands.

Yes, I'm sorry, thank you. She considers you for a long while, just looking at you, absorbing you, drinking in every detail, and then she nods, satisfied, and she too fades. Thank you. I guess I'm just standing there. I kind of awkwardly shuffle over holding your dead mum. Do you want to help put her away? Yeah, let's put her back. Alright.

Can I hold her? Sure, sure. Just be careful, obviously. I'm very strong. I'm good at this. I hold my mum. I hand the corpse to Tiffany and I go drag. How about, sarcophagi would be heavy as hell, hey? What, sorry? How heavy is a sarcophagi? be heavy as hell, hey? What'd you say? How heavy is a sarcophagi? They're made of stone, quite heavy.

Yeah, okay, I don't do that. We can give her, we can give them all proper barriers. We do your mum first, I assume, because she's the one who's the most intact. You know what, we can't bury her, I think it'd be Aloysius, because he got like exploded into powder. Aloysius is freestanding molecules. Phoenix is freestanding molecules right now.

Um, is there anything, cause mum had nice fineries on, is there any part of it I can take that's like not super desecrated, but you know, like it did. Oh, yeah, there is. I pull the dagger out of my chest and hold it out to you. That rules. That rules. Yes. Take the dagger. I reckon she want you to have it. I don't really say much. I just hold it. It's not very sharp though. Carved elegantly into the blade of the weapon is the word Enel. I just sort of nod. I nod, I do a lot of nods. Are we burying everyone? Are we putting them back? Yeah, we should bury everybody and put them back.

All right, well. I set me down in the study area. I can't help move bodies, but when the time comes, I will say the words. I put her up on the little like podium because I take her off. I think the book off and I put her on the podium where the book was. Okay. Yeah, nice.

Sit her up on top of that. Yeah. She quietly just reaches out for any books that she can find within reach. She's just flipping through your father's notes and the books here. And you can see she's studying all the runes around her. Uh, let's, uh, come on, let's do this. We'll start with your mum. I am so quiet.

I don't think I've ever been this quiet. Pop immediately, like once you're over where the sarcophagus is and you put, you, we put your mum in there, pop just fucks off straight away. Not normally a good reader of the room. This room is in bold print. I get to work burying my family. As you do so, you feel that coldness that had spread through your arm when the alhoun nearly tore it off. You feel the coldness recede and that warmth spread again. There

is a warmth unexplainable radiating from your centre out throughout your body. I take a lot of care in putting my family back. I'm gathering as like trying to, man, I did some real numbers on some of these bodies. I'm trying to put like Angus is in shavings. Although I could kind of connect them back together because they're quite neatly bisected. It's such a unique awkward position to be in, to be like, oh, I'm sorry. I desecrated your corpse. Angus was like, I get it. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely understood. I think the ghosts understood. They got they look, you know, they weren't there anymore. You know, they started attacking their own ghosts. Yeah, exactly. For sure. Um, I would like to start a small, take one of the torches off. I'm going to burn the Alhoon's head.

Yeah. You do what Jordan Grey's should have done like 35 years ago. Just burn it to just, you know, just make sure it, um. Oh, yep. Yeah. You write horns? No. But you will be.

I mean, I always have been. Yeah, but I think now you'll, it'll be different, right? I always have been. Yeah, but I think now you'll be different, right? I guess it will. This might be the wrong time to say this part, but um, it's probably good prep, yeah? Killer members of your family, because I mean, I hate to overstate it, but whatever the fuck was going on down here, I do not know how much your daddy's left. I Don't think there'd be a lot of him Right. Well, I'll say some words

I I know something of the rites and rituals proper and then we can leave I Pick up the big cursed book and I take one of my belts off in a simple font The title of the book is I Maledictor Horta. Maledictor Horta. You open it? I sniff it. It smells bad.

It smells of leather, which is what the book is bound in. Would I have done a better job? No, I don't think anyone really could have come away from I, Maledictor, Maledictor Horta unscathed. No, it's in the leather binding. Oh, the leather binding. Oh, the leather binding? Yeah, would I have done a better job?

Yes. Embarrassing. Hm. Embarrassing. Can I hear anything coming from the book or is it just a book? Does it just feel like a book? It just feels like a book.

There's nothing dangerous, but knowledge. So like you have to read the spells within. Yeah. Which is what I assume read the spells within. Yeah. Which is what I assume old mate was doing when he opened it with his esophagus. Yeah. Yes. From a cursory glance, you can see each of the book is, you know, you know how when a book not, not books that we might have, they're also like neat and tightly packed, but old

fashioned books had a messiness to the pages. Pages are uneven. Yeah. This is even more so than that. You can see the pages appear to be made of even different substances. Some of the pages are paper, but some appear to be leather written on leather and many different types of leather at that. Some are papyrus.

You can't even understand what some of these materials are. One of the pages looks like it's made of metal. It looks like many different, from a cursory glance, many different authors contributed to one work. God, it's tempting to read, isn't it? I want a thumb. I want a thumb through it. So flick through. I wrap it up with a belt. That's probably clever. And loop it in through another belt.

That's very smart. I try loop it in through another belt. That's very smart. I try and politely hurry the funeral along. I also collect 32 gold pieces. The room to the right is indeed a treasure room. I picked up teeth. I know what I meant. Yeah, that's fine. You pick up the gold teeth. Yeah My mother's dagger and 32 gold teeth down. Yeah, I Like 31 gold teeth one silver. Does that seem good? Yeah, that's good Yeah, all right off to the right you find indeed. The room is it's a treasure room. There is a Immeasurable amount of wealth here, more than enough to finance the beginning of what you need. And then probably even, and then some probably much more. With

the addition of what Unki Dick is able to bring to bear, it will be a formidable force that you can amass. Well, as the sole living heir of the grace fortune. Yeah, that's good almost. Let's take our stuff. You know what? I never thought that would be its color, you know. The color of rebellion would be gold. Just out of curiosity, maybe even, you check that other path and you find it leads to a opening, which if you were not aware of exactly where it was, you would forget where

it was. In fact, actually, you step out with gold in hand and you didn't pass through a door, you just passed through an opening. Looking back, you're like, wait, where was it? And you have to do the long trek back up the side of the hill to get back to the front door. You return to the house and it's quite late at this point, so you unfortunately will need to stay a knighted greaseman. I hear that place is haunted dude.

We can enjoy the breakfast no, tomorrow. Or breakfast. The staff are very grateful to see you and promises are made to help you collect all of the gold tomorrow. But Tibbolt simply insists, my lady you are exhausted. You're wounded, please. You look fucked. You've been stabbed multiple times in the belly. You, he will warm to in time. But Adam, no he won't. No he will. You are just not worse than what he's used to.

Anyway, Tybalt insists that you stay the night. You go upstairs and you realize they've already made your, they have completely converted your dad's bedroom into your bedroom. Oh my god. This is so nice. What a day of just coming home from that, getting to the stage of being like, I want to bury my family and then being like, well, they're not, they're not even here. Like I want to give them a good funeral, but they're not here. I met them. They're

gone. I'm just putting their bodies in a thing. They're not here. I don't have anyone. You've learned so much in 24 hours. Not even. Still nighttime. Yeah. I've come back. Well, imagine if we'd gone to sleep and we'd rested and waited until day. Might not have had all that dark trouble. I come back to this house and find out that, Hey, I was, I mean, I knew I was trying so hard to impress my dad and I wanted him to love me. Everyone else did.

Everyone else did. And it wasn't enough because it wasn't dad's, but it is enough in some ways. Yeah, fuck his bed off. It's my bed. This is my stuff. I know what I come from now. This is all my stuff. This is mine.

Every, every piece of anything in your father's bedroom has been, while you were away, removed systematically expunged from the room, and all of your things have been moved in by the staff. I wasn't allowed to have anything. I wasn't allowed to go into the rooms. This is my house. There are many guest bedrooms. The nicest one, Pop, is made for you. Well, that's pretty good, eh? You're given a beautiful view of the grounds and the statues

that gave you so much trouble. They're lucky. It doesn't feel like a sarcastic job. It just feels like, Hey, look out on. So at some point in the night, Tiffany, you get up with a lantern in hand and you wander into your father's study. This room has not yet been demolished for you yet. The stuff simply haven't had time. But your father's old oak desk sits where it was always sat. And you just wandering around, you can't really sleep right now. You sit down in the chair and contemplate

all that has happened to you over the last, yeah, 24 hours. And you look down at the, there are two drawers on either side of the desk. You are familiar with three out of the four. One of them, the fourth one, has been locked since you were a baby. You don't think it's ever been opened, or at least certainly not while you were alive. I used the butt of my mother's dagger to break that lock.

You break it open. Inside- I slept with it. It's never leaving your side. I use the butt of my mother's dagger to break that lock. You break it open. Inside... I slept with it. It's never leaving your side. That's a funny thing to sleep with. If it's small enough, I can use it to put my hair on. Yeah, of course. Oh yeah, absolutely.

It is little. You know what? It absolutely would be. Yeah. In fact, maybe... I hope you cleaned it. Yeah. Because it's got me on it. It's got Pop-Lot on it.

That's not bad. That's nice. In fact, I would say in the painting of that would should have included you from the beginning in that painting with your dad and mom, what looks like just a regular hair clasp you immediately identify as this dagger. Oh, God, powerful women, all of us. Cracking open that drawer, you see there is one thing inside. It is a copy, a dog-eared, very well beaten copy

of Emmanuel the Monster first edition. Nice. Right. Oh, I'm thumbing. There's something written on the first page. For Tiffany, in case you too are cursed with adventure. What a complicated man. Fuck you. I'm sorry. Hey there, fellow adventurer.

If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for nerds plus, the symbol not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to SansPants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D's for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D's for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice, and join us on this

epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.