D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company I #10 Return to Camp

Episode Date: July 10, 2021

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and we'll see you on the 1st of August. Previously on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company The second possum gets higher than my head height, I feel sick. I still don't get that. No one's allowed to be up higher than my head. Hi! Hey, hello there, Mr. I... Miss... Miss Nightingale!

Suddenly, a dragon attacks. The PCs are ambushed by a creature. The two rock eyes blink, blink. Oh. The creature turns around and sprints into the forest. When you wake up the next day, you still feel sick,

and your exhaustion level has increased to two. With you wake up the next day, you still feel sick and your exhaustion level has increased to two. With the assistance of the deer, are finally able to locate what you imagine must be the tree. It is stupefyingly large. This black dragon is about the size of an elephant and its chest has been torn

open. What? What? Yeah, they have a herbalism kit even. I will allow, if they fail the saving throw,, they have a herbalism kit even. Just anything to kind of like cool her down. I will allow if they fail the saving throw, you can make a herbalism check, which is basically just a d20 plus your wisdom modifier. And they can substitute that as their saving throw if they failed the saving throw. You return to camp.

Camp looks about the same as it ever did. It's busy here, as it always is. You can see that Mora Marsh must have come back recently with a big pile of further quests. More contracts. Chantel Stormbender, the knight, or the heavily armoured fighter of some sort, is no longer here, and neither is Yaola, the devil worshipper. Looks like both of them have gone on some sort of mission together, maybe.

Okay, that's kind of nice. Though you do see that they weren't here when you left previously, but have obviously come back from some sort of mission. Are Herdek foam tankard? Mm-hmm. A dwarven cleric? Herdek follows a god of renewal. Okay.

The god of renewal basically is just like death is a part of life and undeath is a part of life and so her deck yeah okay her deck has this kind of like fatalistic view on the world her deck is like we're all gonna die someday yes okay today for me it might be today can someone please help me i don't think so and then also here is love is blind uh love is blind the tabaxi yeah i was like oh love is blind is a sorcerer they harness the power of the wind itself to cast their magic. Okay. All right. Yes. Good. Love is blind is cutting his toenails. That's absolutely gorgeous. Perhaps I will head off quickly. I'll get Big T over here.

Do you want to quickly just have a bit of a sit down? I need to sit down. Hello, new friends. You introduce yourself to the new friends who are our old friends, I believe. I am Big T. This is Possum. What's your nickname? Oh, no, you know these people. Oh.

Yeah. You're Big T now. You can introduce yourself with a new nickname. I have a nickname now. I'm Big T, and Possum is Possum. Ew. You know Possum. Possum's global, but Possum is Possum.

Do you have nicknames? I'm very sick. I am, as always, Love is Blind. Says Love is Blind. And I'm Herdek from Tankard. Pleasure to meet you, T. Big T. Sorry.

No, that's all right. I'm being silly. Can someone help me? Fucking hell. actually yes Herdek do you perhaps big T here is suffering from an illness

disease actually hurling disease oh yeah anything using your clerical abilities I've exhausted all my hurling disease. Oh yeah. Have you been using your clerical abilities? I've exhausted all my nature abilities.

Let me think. Herdek gives you a look over. Oh. Number between 1 and 29? 7. God damn it, her attack Oh my god, you're a halfling Have you always been a goliath?

I've been in the water a lot Maybe I've turned into fish Oh yeah Do I seem wet enough? I don't think you're typically supposed to be wet I thought the same thing I'll leave you to it I'm going to have a quick go on to Morimar. Have you considered dying?

Yeah, but I... I take one step forward. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We don't want that. Do I have to? Your corpse will fuel a tree. You can consider yourself that tree if you want. But...

Or your corpse will fool a zombie. That's also natural. But I don't want to. Not yet, not yet. I know his beliefs, not yet. I know their beliefs, not yet. Well, other than that, there's not a lot I can do. You'll either have to let the disease run its course or die.

Can anybody else help me? Oh, sorry, I forgot as well. There is actually someone else in camp who could help you. There is a traveling merchant who sometimes comes to your camp. They do like kind of a loop of the local area. Ah, good, good, good. Well, it's less a loop and more like a straight line back

and forth. There's just a series of camps in a row from different companies like yourselves. Ah, perfect. But yeah, they're here right now. Their name is a Marquillet. Ah, Marquillet. Nice to meet you. They're an elf. Marquillett and their traveling

stuff. No, that's not the... It's just Mark Quillett. He doesn't have a name for his business or anything. I'm writing it down. Traveling stuff, Mark Quillett. That's what we call him. He's the person I guess we sell all our items to that we've acquired, yes? Yeah, if you have anything to sell, he'll pick it up

for you. He also does various different services, like he can sell you... He doesn't himself actually cast spells, but he does have access to a wide variety of potions and whatnot. Okay, cool. So the items that we've acquired, in terms of inventory

management, is that the prices you've given us, or is that... You would sell it for half the price that it has listed there. Okay, cool. So, any of those goods, you could sell them to him. Okay. And then I'll just divide... You could turn that into just cold hard cash. Yeah, and I'll divide it by two, of course.

Divide it by five, my friend. No, divide it in half, and that's how much we get, yes? Oh, yes, yes, sorry. Divide the item in half, and then the total by five, and thenide the item in half And then the total by 5 And then it gets split among you two And the next of kin Okay, cool

All that, that was 155 gold 155, alright That divided by 5 is 31 Good job, is it? Yeah Good job, I don't think I could have done that quickly in my head You each get 31 gold And then you turn in the quests Good job, is it? Yeah. Good job. I don't think I could have done that quickly in my head.

You each get 31 gold, and then you turn in the quests. Morimash can handle that for you if you want as well. Or actually, Marquillet and Morimash work together. The gold that we acquired, do we have to split that as well? Like the 1,000 silver coins and the 40 gold coins? Yeah, typically. Okay, so what's 1,000 You can not, if you want to. Oh, no, no.

The thousand silver coins is, what's that again? A thousand silver coins is how many gold? Oh, it's 100 gold. Okay. So that's another 25 gold each? Yeah. It's 140. 140 gold, and we divide that by five, yes.

Okay, so that's 28 gold. Any leftovers just goes to the company itself. Oh, divided perfectly. Yes. So we both have 59 gold each. Perfect. I have 59 gold. Right. That's good to hear. So go over to

Morimash. Actually, no, we're dealing with your... Yes, please. Morimash, we have returned, unfortunately. Some of our compatriots have passed away. We'll get to you in a minute. It happens. I didn't, but I nearly am.

We're glad to have you back. Not for long, maybe. Can someone help me? Did you go to Morimash first? Yes. And you actually mentioned that you're sick? Yes. Morimash, then, this is what the company finances for.

Morimash pays for a potion of neutralized, not neutralized, but remove disease. Thank you. Thank you so much. Don't worry. It's what it's for. Beautiful. Thank you very much, Morimash. You are still at level three exhaustion, but you, after drinking it, immediately feel better.

Oh, all my veins are cool and all my skin's hot. Morimash puts up two hands, two massive meaty hands, puts his fingers together and says, Together we are strong. Yes. Adventures together strong. Strong. Not what I was trying to do, but all right.

It works. We were successful on the breastplate of the Hulk. We have the 18-day position Hulk. We have it in there. Oh, here it is. I'll take this all for you and I'll have it mailed off. Ah, beautiful. And here's the marking of where the wyvern or the worm was. Yes, the creature.

The creature. Explain what the creature was or what I saw. Monomarsh looks very scared. So, yes. Here there was a black dragon, as you would expect with a horde. It was cut open. Yes, belly to

neck all the way down to groin. Empty dragon. That is fucked. Yes. I hate that. Yes, I notably hate that. Yes, that was it. And then next to it was a lot of butchered or not even butchered, just piles of animal corpses in six eggs. Cool.

They look like... Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, this is very cool. Love that. Loving it as well. Well, I'll note that down. That might be something for... Well, we'll see how that develops.

Someone should go in and push the eggs out of the nest. Someone should. Yes. Absolutely. Someone should. Yes. Absolutely. Someone else. Perhaps not these two. Someone else indeed. I would agree heartily with that sentiment.

Yes. Definitely more for the risk was 100 gold. There was just no animal presence in a wide area. Well, I wouldn't want to live next door to that either. Yes. Well, it's going to go out further if there's no animals. We should put animals in there, get them away from the nest, push the eggs out.

Yes, Big T is on to us. Kill him. Someone else. We have nicknames now. Big T and I'm Possum. Oh, that's lovely to hear. Big T and Possum. No, I prefer just to go by my name, Monomarsh. Okay. Unfortunately, I prefer just to go by my name, Monomarsh. Okay.

Yes. Unfortunately, yes. The corpses, we managed to save the bodies of our fallen compatriots. Always appreciated. Yes, unfortunately, yes. The goblin horde was a little bit more difficult than we first thought it would be. It's a difficult life. Yes, yes, yes.

Not easy. Life is cheap. Yes. Death is quick. Yes. Hopefully. We also have these magic crossbow bolts and this ring,

but we don't really know what they do. Well... Doesn't taste rotten. Yes. Well, if you want, if you don't use a crossbow, the crossbow bolts will be much appreciated. We'll divvy them out to someone who needs them

or sell them to collect the funds. The ring itself, I could have identified for you and then returned to you. Oh, yeah, absolutely delightful, yes. Thank you.

All right. He takes both of them. Yes, good, good, good. Enjoy the crossbow. I couldn't even use a crossbow if you paid me. Yes, we'll perhaps rest up for a little bit until your right is rain there, Big T.

Right is wet, wet rain. I'll start collating some of these potential contracts, shall we say. Brilliant. Yes. I go to sleep. You rest up. Ah, I go down like a log. You both have, you can have a long rest.

As a treat. Do I get a level of exhaustion recovered? Yeah, you recover one level of exhaustion. Danzo, exhaustion level two. Yes, I think we'll probably wait here a few days while that happens. Can I go to exhaustion level none, please? No, you only lose one level of exhaustion for long rest. Yeah, that's what I mean.

We'll stay here for a few days while Big T recovers and we look through the contracts and see what's going on, maybe chat to the camp, find out a bit more about our compatriots. Yeah, wait for those eggs to hatch, you know, normal stuff. Eggs to hatch, you know, those kind of things. Could we have sold one of those broken, like the breakable scimitars, the orc-crafted scimitars? Could you have what, sorry?

We have one left. Oh, could you sell it? Yes. Or is it more of a, not worth much? You could sell it if you wanted to. It probably wouldn't fetch a lot of money. Look, you can have one. Look, here's an ace in your hold here.

Big tea here. Thank you. I put it in my stuff. In the time that that takes, in the time that you can just completely remove the exhaustion, in the time that that takes, Chantel Stormbender and Yayola both return. Some people come and go,

but right now in the camp, it's the two of you, Chantel Stormbender, the knight, Herdek Foamtanked, the cleric, Loveisblind, the tabaxi, Morimarsh, Tavertine, and Yayola. There are other members of your group, but they're

not here right now. Yes, yes. Any other contracts that were kind of near that sword sage amulet of fortune? Contracts that are active and in the area are someone has been bandits, perhaps, not 100% sure, have been waylaying travelers, ambushing them, leaving no survivors. Interestingly enough, it seems that they might be slavers,

because they don't seem to be interested in items, only people. Okay. No survivors so far, though. So not a lot of information. And what's... That is on the road towards that. Okay. Or not on that exact road,

but there's like another road that it's near. And so that's just like deal with them, get rid of them? Just, yeah, deal with the menace. Deal with the menace. And that's worth... They say that it's worth... They say that it's worth only 200 gold, but they're willing to pay more

if it's extra difficult. Difficult. Okay, okay. I suppose they want proof of that. Alright. Yeah, they would want proof. Yes, of course. Alright, we've got the Slaver's Bandits, if we perhaps see them on the way. Okay, anything else? And now, a word from our sponsor.

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of a chickens or their target to get really into birds there are tons and tons of entries so you'll probably never encounter the same effect twice it's the gift that keeps on giving you a headache head to sanspantsradio.com slash shop and look for our dumb wild magic table today there's a just a generally active quest in the area so this one's kind of broad because it's just if you encounter them. But apparently kobolds have been moving down south from north ways from where you've been coming. And they've been just kind of like a menace. And so there is a broad 10 gold reward on any kobold heads turned in. Yeah, all right.

So 10 gold per kobold. It's a big deal. If we ever come across some kobolds, we're just going to make sure all right. So 10 gold per cobbled head. It's a big deal. If we ever come across some cobbled, we're just going to make sure that we... Just collect the head. Collect the heads. All right. Making a collection.

And then finally, a item, a fetch quest, it's maybe literally called on the thing. Oh, we're good at those. Yes, we've got one. We did that. Done.

An item called the ethereal manipulation. It's a set of armor, like previous. Done. An item called the Ethereal Manipulation. It's a set of armor like previous. Okay. The Ethereal Manipulation. There is apparently somewhere to the north, broadly on the same road, but a bit a ways off. There's like a really ancient and old dwarven stronghold that someone stumbled upon. Scholars believe that this could be a dwarven stronghold that holds this armor. No guarantee, but if you can find it in this dwarven stronghold,

it's worth 500 gold plus any other magical items that might be there. Yeah, right. Okay. It's all, some dwarf is really keen on collecting them. Okay, well, that's be there. Yeah, right. Okay. It's all, some dwarf is really keen on collecting them. Okay. Well, that's pretty impressive. Okay. So if we wanted to, we could probably knock off

all four of these in that similar, well, I guess the cobalt one is the one ongoing. But if we went, you know, went down there, tried to deal with those bandits,

if we managed to see them, I mean, that's not very nice. There's slavers. And then we go to that chapel. Remember that chapel? Oh, yeah.

So, we get the admonition. And then, perhaps we then go to the, if we manage doing very well, I think I have faith in us. We're lucky.

I have faith in us. Yes. Then we'll do that and maybe head to the dwarven stronghold. It does sound quite a bit adventurous, doesn't it? The stronghold does seem like…

But we are adventurous. We are adventurous. And we're good at our jobs. We're good at our jobs. You're correct there. We're very clever and do a good job. Yes, yes. Right.

While this is happening, perhaps we'll chat to Yola and Chantel, see how their contracts went and how they're getting along and perhaps we've got these contracts as well if they wouldn't mind coming along

or if not that's completely okay I don't really like not a big fan of the foam tank

I'm being I mean look they're fine but they're very I just feel in a life or death situation. They're picking death. Every single time.

They're going to pick death. Every single time. They said they wanted me to die. Exactly. So, look, I don't know if I kind of want that energy. I don't want it. Or in our particular party. It nearly killed me.

Leave it. Yeah, I think perhaps we are. Love is blind? But love is blind seems absolutely a disadvant. Love we are but love is blind seems absolutely a disadvant love is blind love is blind

so yes well perhaps we'll ask Yola and Chantel and perhaps love is blind if they would like

to partake in these particular quests and while we're having a bit of downtime I believe someone owed me

a game of dice yes what is the gambling-est game you can play with iron dice? Liar's dice, maybe? I'll play you for the bad ring. Yeah, all right. All right. For which ring, sorry?

Oh, no, you threw it in the forest. Oh, well, if you were like... You can play for the... Once we get that ring back, the one we got... I'll play you for the funny ring. We'll play you for that fun ring. Do you know how to play Liars Dice? Not at all.

Canonically, yes. Cassie, no. Both of you get five dice. Do we just have to fib? Yeah. Is this the Fibonacci sequence? You roll separately. Now, you need to make basically a wager.

All right? So you wager a certain number of a certain result. So, like, I reckon there's four sixes. So you only know what you got. You don't know what the other person got. But you're wagering across both of you. Okay. So say, for example, Salmon. you got, you don't know what the other person got, but you're wagering across both of you. Okay. So,

say, for example, Xamarin, you think, you know you've got three sixes, and you know that Cass rolled five dice, so there's a decent chance she rolled at least one six. So your three might become four when you reveal. Does that make sense? That makes sense. And the way it works is, you say

four sixes, and Cass, you either need to say five sixes or more. You need to up it by one. So you need to either go a higher number, so a higher result. Six is the highest, so you can't go up in that. Or you need to up the amount. So you could say, if he said four sixes, you could say five ones. And then that is your bet. Maybe you rolled all ones. And so you know, that's really unlikely, but possible. So you know there's at least five ones. Zamit, that seems unlikely.

But Cass also seems confident. So maybe you're like, well, I'm not going to call her on that. Now, you can either raise, you can go six ones, or you can go five twos. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. When you call, when someone calls the other one's bluff, you reveal, and then if you're right, obviously you win. Does that make sense? Yes. Alright, whoever wants to start. Well, you can go first there, Big G. Four fours. Four fours. Across both of you, do you think there are four fours? Five fours. Four fours. Across both of you, do you think there are four fours?

Five fours. Five fours. Across both of you, do you think there are five fours, Cass? I can either up it or say you're lying. You can, yeah, you've got to up it by saying either five, sorry, six fours or five fives, or you've got to call them out. No. Let's reveal then. I have two fours.

First round goes to you there. We'll call that a practice. Okay, I was in the best of three. We can go best of three as well. I'm happy to have that as a practice. You don't have to up it by one as well. You can up it by several. It just has to go up as a practice. You don't have to up it by one as well. You can up it by several. It just has to go up.

Two ones. We'll bet low at first. Two twos. I reckon two threes. Two fours. Two fours. Two fours. Two fours.

Let's see here. Could you... Three fours. I call you out. Well, I have a one four. I have one four. You lost again. So close.

First one was a practice. First one was a practice. First one was a practice. You're right. First one was a practice. Okay. Your two, they are big T. Three sixes. Three sixes.

You can only up the amount of sixes. Wow. Oh, sorry. Sorry, you can. I can go like four ones or whatever. Yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry. Three sixes. Three sixes.

Four sixes. That's probably correct. Well, you got off the bet then. Five sixes. Five sixes. Well, I'm going to call you out on this one. Yes, I've only got two. I've also got two.

Yeah. Okay, well, it's one each then Final round Two fives Two sixes Three ones Oh, that works But all the numbers went up Three twos

I'm going to call you a bluff there But all the numbers went up. Three twos. Three twos. I'm going to call you a bluff there. I got the one two. I have zero twos. Samet wins. Samet wins. By the hair of... Sorry, it's a possum.

All right. Well, I'll take the dice back and you win the ring. Whatever you want. Well played there, Big want. Well played there, Big T. Well played. It was a lot of fun. That's good. Good game. So we'll wait those three days

for the Exhaustion to wear off and perhaps we'll see if the ring comes back with any information about what that is before we head off. If not, we'll get it done on our own. You do find out. It's a ring of water walking.

No. While wearing the ring, you treat water as if it was physical ground. Oh, no, I don't need this at all. I don't want that. No, thank you. Thank you. Look. You have to be wearing the ring for at least 24 hours to gain the effect.

It is. You can actually walk on water with this ring here. That's bad for you. Yeah. I don't want this. You told me a game of Liars Dies and I appreciate that. So as a token of, you have this. Thank you. I gambled and lost and I still won.

That's just to myself. Are you putting it on? So you can add ring of water walking to your character sheet and after 24 hours you will treat water as if it was land, letting you know that has benefits and disadvantages. Figures. I get to stand on you and be like, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.

That's the benefit. Oh, we can share a ditch. You just go in the water, and then I lie on top of the benefit. Oh, we can share a ditch. You just go in the water and then I lie on top of the water. Protection. So, yes, we'll ask the people in the camp if they would want to come on this. We don't ask her deck. We do not ask her deck. Her deck is.

All right. You don't want her deck's help. Don't you have death to admire? Her deck's not even her deck. Yeah, so you've got, all right, so any member of the, you all kind of like roughly trust each other for the most part. So anyone here would happily come with you. Like I said, you've got Chantel Stormbender, the knight.

You've got, Herdex, I'll just skip. Love is Blind is a storm sorcerer. Morimash is a legitimate businessman and physically massive. Let's bring the strong businessman. Tabertine is a Arakokra

monk. Oh, I forgot about him, yes. And Yeola is a tiefling diabolist. Diabolist? Devil worshipper. Okay. Chantel, I think, is lovely. We need another good fighter there. Love is blind.

Look, I'm quite partial to the company of a good tabaxi because, you know, every adventure will end in a good meal no matter what. Very good. Does Chantel come with Yayola like are they a twofer they like they're big they're good friends

okay well I don't want to split up a good friendship so we can ask yes the tiefling and the storm bender

if they would like to come and we'll see if love is blind would like to accompany us it would be very sad if one of them

died without the other one interesting all right yeah they'll all three of them are without the other one. Interesting. Alright, yeah, all three of them are happy to come with. Moromash? Moromash will come with if you ask. Max 5.

Yeah, and you're a legitimate businessman and I think someone needs to be here running the camp. Okay. No, that's fair. Look, it makes sense. Because, like, look, I want to look at, like, the graves of the Thievik the graves of whatever it is of our fallen comrades because if you know

all three corpses have been sent away their families want them maybe we should have written a letter who hurt you where did we find you a great funny response would be your dad Adam because that's what I sometimes say

when people say, Who heard you to me? Adam's dad. That's the first time I've explained a joke and it became funny. That doesn't tend to happen, you know. It's quite the opposite. What would...

I'm forgetting his name now. I was going to say Forlorn. What was that old good friend's name Falmorn yes think about what Falmorn would do if say

because he was very much adventurous together strong and if anything was to happen to our legitimate businessman that wouldn't be good we couldn't do any legitimate business

yes what happened to the chapter as much as I would love the chapter would end that's what I know about the books. What are you learning? Every book is one chapter. And then when the chapter finishes, the book is done.

No, every book is multiple chapters. There's a lot of paragraphs. So it goes letters. Letters are the small ones that look like things. Tree Stump looks in pain. They didn't expect to have to think like this. Yes, I'm so sorry. Gail shakes her head and looks at you.

Yes. It's fair enough. Yes, Tree Stump, you're doing good. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. So shall we head off first line? The five of you head off the next day.

If I could remind everybody. So the mission's at hand. It's that we're heading towards that church to get the sword sage amulet of fortune teller. Yes, that's the one. And on the way, if we happen upon some slave bandits, we have to deal with that particular menace. Also, if there's some kobolds, remember to keep their heads or at least not destroy their heads so we can keep their heads.

And also if we wanted to, there's a particular old dwarven stronghold where there's an ethereal manipulation armor maybe. There's no guarantees with that one and they're all roughly in the same direction. Is this correct? The two of you plus Love is Blind, the tabaxi, Chantelle

Stormbender and Yeola. Yes yes yes. On the third day you have a choice. You can start veering a little bit eastward and find that Dwarven Stronghold or you can try and get it on the way back. Yeah I think

the Stronghold personally I would put forward the Stronghold we do on the way back but this is a little bit opened up to the party of course what everybody would want to do chantal doesn't seem to mind she is kind of like whatever whatever is whatever it won't matter that much to us lovers blind says dwarven stuff is heavy better to get on the way back here's a good point and then Yeola says but it could be helpful I really like if I'm going on a trip once I'm done I want to go home quickly

so if we do it now the journey home will be faster and I think that's nice Goliath speaks right! That's not actually a bad point. So I guess here I am the deciding vote for lack of a better word. I mean it I mean water is very dangerous and

like for when coming back. It's got a good point both of you Yola and of course Big T. Let's go to the old dwarven stronghold to investigate that. I want to go to bed is helpful. Can I get you to roll the encounter dice?

Eleven. Eleven. I'm sorry. That's the first one I've rolled this session. That's okay. It could have been worse. I mean, like, not by much. By one.

By one, but. Oh, no, sorry. This is a heavy encounter. Sorry, you're off-road. The encounter rules change. Heavy encounter on 11 and a 12. Light encounter on a 9 and a 10. Oh.

Oh. Well, good. Yeah. Will this be the encounter that finally takes down our newly formed party? Find out next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company. In 1977, Marvel attempted to answer the important questions with their What If line of comics. They failed. Now, in the year of 2021, the Plumbing Boys have picked up the slack

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Benny G You are no one's uncle Okay No Listen Not a single person Don't answer Don't talk back

Know this in your heart of hearts I need to know you were listening when I say this Your siblings have not given birth to children No one calls you uncle You are not an uncle Johnny Storm But Johnny Storm is the dumbest one, right? Because he was just there

Why is he just there? Why did he go to space too? Is that a lie? Captain America They put him in the machine They're like, he's gonna come out a super soldier They open it up They're like, he's gonna come out a super soldier they open it up they're like

he's fucking dead we cancelled a project he just died sorry Mr. Sark you got stupid sperm I got no strings

cause I'm not Pinocchio I'm just a dumb boy don't worry dad I'll fight the bad guys did you give me a gun. I made you strong. You got powers.

What? No, no, no. Give me a gun. Give me a gun. Give me a sword. I'll patrol outside. Dad, I'm not wearing pants. You're a robot.

Give me some pants, Dad. Dad. At least underwears. My robot dick's hanging out, Dad. No, it's not. I didn't give you a robot dick. Why not? Dad!

Write that down. Write that down. A clever Hulk's more frightening than a stupid Hulk. It's like a clever bull is more frightening than a stupid bull. Yeah. If you see a bull and the bull is like, I'm going to gore you. What if the bull stands on its back legs and is like, let's have a conversation? I am afraid.

No, wait. Okay, what's more scary? No, I'm not. We, wait. It's okay. What's more scary? No, I'm not. We eat you or your wives. Couple of cucks, eh, Reed? What? Hello? Couple of guys getting cucked.

What's on TV? My lady, she loves an astronaut. Your lady loves a fish boy. Crazy. Air. Water. Hey. The lady loves a fish boy. Crazy. Air. Water. Hey. The two elements of cock.

Yeah. Yeah. What If? A new series coming soon, only to Sandspans Plus for King subscribers. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for nerds plus the symbol,

not the word where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans plus members. The further adventures of the Greyhill free company. If you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds

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