D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company I #18 On Religions and Surprises

Episode Date: September 4, 2021

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SANS Pants Radio, Australia's most biased podcast network. Of the Greyhill Free Company. The cayenne chlorola, as it came out, it was kind of like, do they know I'm here? See, it is cute. So I'm holding a big flaming light. Yeah. Cool. I hear the tatters. All right. Ah!

Oh, no. I got too attached. So I'll draw two critical hit cards, and I'll give you the title of the card, and you can pick. Okay. So I'll give you that at least. Shot through the heart. That sounds bad. And I'm to blame. Yeah. Or

shot through the heart or skewered. Look, we should probably take care of its eggs as well. Oh, yes. Can I just go and like... We'll open the door and have a look in there. What's going on? You see there are five eggs. You can see that there is a rolling

the evidence of a rolling fight going throughout here as attackers and defenders clashed with each other. The defenders obviously losing and the attackers continuously pushing forwards. Yeah, we'll go and see how our friends are doing. You return. You see that they're both slowly making

the going around, continuing to say the prayer. Doesn't look like anything else has changed. Well, I'm picking locks and that's all we're doing. Yeah, going around, continuing to say the prayer. Doesn't look like anything else has changed. Well, I'm picking locks and that's all. Yeah, I mean, what else am I doing? All right. You know, sleep when I'm dead. You attempt to pick a lock. First, before I pick it, look at it to see if there's like any traps.

If I pick them, am I going to be like smoted? This was an attempt at a trap finding then. Yes. You do not think you find any traps. Okay. Well, then I'll go and pick the lock. You do not think you find any. I'm pretty confident, yeah.

Well, I don't know what to say. You don't find any. I'm pretty confident. I don't know how confident you might be. Not very, actually. I think I've got some thieves tools. Yeah, you took them from Watson's face. Our good friend.

You attempt to pick the lock, but fail to do so. Well, I guess I'll go with it. Just keep trying, really. Takes you a couple of minutes, but eventually you unlock the first one, open it up, and inside there is a silver cloth. It looks like it's covering something. Yeah. It's like,'s covering something. Yeah. It's like, oh, a magical cloth, I see.

Oh, I'll pick it up and uncover whatever it's covering. Underneath there are silver bars, bars of silver. There's five of them. Do you take them? No. There are five silver bars. If you shift them and look around, it looks like there's just... Actually, no, there'd be a few more than five, actually.

There'd be maybe seven. Seven. I know it's not that big a difference, but it's important for lore reasons. Okay. There's seven silver bars. All right, so seven silver bars. I'll go to the next... Basically, yeah.

As we're not doing much and I feel we're pretty safe from kobolds, I'll just take my time and... About an hour later, you pick the second one. Takes you some time. That was brief. All this hard work's making me very dry. At this point, by the way, I want to let you know that you've had nearly an eight-hour day.

Very dry, yes, yes. So you pick this lock, open this chest, and inside... Actually, you've had a bit longer than an eight-hour day at this point, but that's fine. You only need to sleep for eight hours in a 24 hour and yeah you open this chest and inside you see there is sets of tools in here all sorts so not just forging tools but maybe tools for knitting tools for gem cutting just like artis tools, you could collect in total 14 different sets of different types of artisans tools in this.

Right. I'm not touching. Yeah. And then I. All of them look really nicely crafted as well. They would be masterwork in nature. Yeah. And well, again.

Open the last one. This one opens almost immediately. Maybe by this time you're like I think I understand how the lock works opening this one bound in like soft leather is a holy symbol for queen a god

it is um it's a motherly looking dwarf with a silver hammer in one hand it's just a depiction of her. And she is the god of gems. Yeah, she's the goddess of blacksmiths and gemstones. Right, okay.

It's a very more ceremonial kind of instinct. I'm assuming it's not magic in nature, but magic in religion. Yeah, it's got religious significance to it. You think it would be worth a pretty penny if you were to take it? Right. Well, I'm still worried about that curse, so I don't. You have successfully navigated a curse I was definitely going to give you if you took anything.

Can we know about the curse? Well, Cass and Zammett know about the curse. No. Yeah, can we know more about it? What would he avoid? A disadvantage on all skill checks until you got someone to take it from you willingly. You didn't give it to someone.

Someone was like, yes, I will take that. And they take it from you. Yes. Good. Yes. Good.

Well, I'll close them and be like, well, that was nothing to help us with the storm. Okay, well, yeah, I'll just close these and I guess we'll go back to the king room and have a nap. And does Love is Blind come by at any point? If you get up and leave, Love is Blind does not come to visit you, no. Okay.

Well, I guess I have an eight-hour rest. It takes maybe two hours, Big T, for you to search you now. Okay. Well, I guess I have an eight hour rest. It takes maybe two hours, Big T, for you to search this room. Mm-hmm. You don't find any secret doors or passageways or any hidden alcoves

or anything like that. Damn. Yeah, sorry. And I guess I don't gain any good knowledge. You get a good appreciation for how fucking big these tapestries are.

These tapestries are massive. This tapestry could cover a city block. they're big uh plus one art appreciation you can write that down that's allowed yeah art appreciation i can now say what art is i have the power i have the power and i don't find anything i don't find any hints the tapestries don't tell any stories of how to revive people on them. No, the tapestries are just the sigils of various clans. There's nothing hidden in the sigil.

No, I just told you, you find nothing. Yeah. But they want to find something to help. Okay, well, I'll go back in and let's all have a sleep. And people can come to me. I've said we're going to sleep in the king's room. Yes. I'm going to.

I'm going to set up my little bed roll and snuggle near to the king, but not so close. I'll knock him when I sleep. Yes. Well, Yola and lovers blind do not appear at any point. Do I fall asleep before they, before I realize I haven't shown up.

You that's up to you. When do you want to go to sleep? I fall asleep before I realize they're not there. All right. They both get a level of exhaustion. Great to hear. And Yaiola already had a level of exhaustion, so she's on two.

Oh, my God. Adjust your own life mask, Yaiola. Can't pour from an empty cup, Yaiola. What's that? You can't pour from an empty cup. Fill your. What, sorry? You can't pour from an empty cup. Fill your cup. What are you saying? Fill your cup.

You can't pour from an empty cup. So if you want to help someone else. Fill your cup. Oh, you can't pour from an empty cup. Yeah. So I guess we take a long rest? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I take a long rest. Okay. In the morn. Someone's got to be. I'm not going to not take a long rest while everyone's being silly. We go. Anything. Yeah.

Any new friends? Old friends? Any old friends coming back? Oh, you go Chuck? Yes. As you walk. Sorry. At first I thought you were talking about the kobolds.

Yes. Oh, yeah. They've broken down the door. Yeah. Oh, you wake up in heaven. They slit your throats in heaven. Oh. Yes. Oh yeah, they've broken down the door. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you wake up in heaven. They slit your throats in heaven. Oh.

Oh. You return to the chapels and you walk into the one for King Ficklim and you see that Lover's Blind has collapsed.

He just fell asleep. And he's like leaning up against the stone altar and just's like leaning up against the stone altar and just soft like breaths coming in and out of him I'm not gonna wake him up he needs to sleep

with tears running down her eyes like red and puffy she gets to the end of the spell for you cannot even imagine it must be like the 20th time she gets to it and as she utters it she just tears streaming down her face slowly puts her it sees that you two have come in and understands that how long she must have been going for. She rests her forehead against the golden band and just lets slow, soft sobs come out. With her eyes closed.

Yes. You're about to say something, Globble. With her eyes closed, she does not see what you see as a soft light begins to emanate from the golden band. Oh. So, like, smack him a bit like. About to like go over and maybe comfort Yola. I stop in my tracks and just stop so suddenly still.

Yola, who obviously detects that you have moved and were about to say something, but have stopped moving and have stopped abouting to say something and she opens her eyes and immediately catches the the light glowing off the band she scooches back a little bit and then all of you watch in awe and love is blind also from the light because the light begins to get brighter and brighter and that wakes him up he begins scooching back as well with a look of astonishment on his face the light becomes so bright it hurts to look at and all of you need to

avert your gaze you hear a tremendous crack sound and then the light begins to fade as the light fades you see that chantelle is sitting up on the slab she's breathing like heavily there is no no marks upon her she looks completely healthy i start welling up i i look overjoyed but it's not my moment i stay quiet yeah this isn't for us. No, no, no. We stay where we are. Yayola issues like a squawk and then she is upon Chantel. They are hugging and crying. I go and maybe just like put my hand on Love is Blind's sort of shoulder. Has he gotten up or is he still? Yeah, he's standing looking in raptured awe. I kind of give his hand a squeeze.

I come over with them, but again, not our moment. Yeah, again. The three of us over in the side. Admiring the moment. Under my breath, like, perhaps it was a time thing? I mean, the dwarves are slow working.

Does she just need to cry? That seems rude. Not everyone's a crier. I do not know. The gods are fickle She just needs to cry? That seems rude. Not everyone's a crier. I do not know. The gods are fickle and strange sometimes. Perhaps this is, I don't know, perhaps she just needed to show her devotion. That's a good point. Go to sleep, go to sleep.

Perhaps she just needed to show her devotion. Perhaps that last time was just the time she completely gave herself to the gods maybe the god was asleep it was night time did you go to sleep I think I might have dozed off but I definitely did not get my 16 hours rest oh he's a cat jump on my back

I got the free spot now. Fuck off. Number between 1 and 31. 31. Loyalty card. The next merchant you meet gives you a discount. Oh, that rules. That's nice.

You know what, Simon? You give me one as well. Let's give you 16 16? We were polite Hyper-focused Triple your proficiency bonus for one round Ah

Well Love, if you want Those two get reacquainted And we give them a bit of privacy Would you like to have a bit of a rest? Come into the king room, have a bit of sleep. Yes, give them some privacy, I think. I would like to, but how much food do we have left?

We did prepare quite a lot for the journey, but it's a good question. How long are we going to be down here? Can we eat the rust monster if we cook it? What? Well, I mean, we haven't found the rust monster if we cook it? What? Well, I mean, we haven't found the rust monster and I mean, there's carrion. The body's been out for at least eight hours.

Not necessarily... But the little eggs. The eggs have been cracked open for at least eight hours. Yeah, and then we'll cook them and they'll be good! If I, Cass, if I cracked an egg open on the floor here and left it for eight hours, would you feel confident? No, but we may be starving. And we're underground and it's nice and cold.

Well, it's near a forge. It's probably hot. Oh, so it's easy to cook. And then. Always looking on the bright side, Cass. That's what I like about you. Yes, good point. Well, well. Perhaps speed would be necessary.

Well, we'll give them at least a few hours together. If you'd like to come with us to the, the only other place we haven't really investigated was beyond the market hall. And then there was, of course, the barracks. Yes. And I guess if they're the forge, we could perhaps look for the... Investigate that forge where the rust monster was.

Do you know much about if the rust monster can eat magical weapons? Or magical armor, as it were? I mean, it was the ethereal minifigure. No, actually, he rolled pretty well. I just wanted... He rolled pretty well. I just wanted to do that because it was funny. It is?

I do not think rust monsters can harm a magical item. Well, in that case, let's... Are you okay to... I'll be fine, yes. I have operated on less than 16 hours sleep before. It makes me very tired. So tired, but I can do it. Look over to Chantal and Iola.

We will be in the next week. So happy to see you back. Love is Blind just gives you like a shove. We'll be in the next room. Bye! Love you! Glad to see you again. Well, I'll waddle out. Tippy cup.

Yes, tippy cup. I'll waddle out into the other room. You go back into the king who is here room. None of the god kings. No, no, the hall room. Yes. Oh, you go into the king who is here room. None of the god kings. No, no, the hall room. Yes. Yes, the marketplace. Oh, good to be back.

Oh, you go into the marketplace? Yes. All right. And you return to where you saw the rust monster? Yes. So we'll be a bit quiet, a bit more weary. Anyone eaten the eggs? And we'll see if the armor's there in the forge.

And also, what's going on? Any other surprises? Yeah. Are the eggs still there? Did someone eat them? Or are there... Will rust monsters eat their young is what we're asking, I guess. Can we see tears?

You don't know if rust monsters eat... Can we see the telltale sign of a crying rust monster? Or monsters? Oh, my God. Their tears would make it rust. So the weapon you found in this particular... or monsters. Oh my god, their tears would make it Ross. So, that, the weapon you found in this particular, if we do discover the Ross monster,

I mean, is it a magical weapon, the plus one? What, sorry? Yeah, we could probably use that on the Ross monster, I guess. I mean, they're very much like my halberd, but it was free, so you know, if I lose it, I lost nothing.

If I keep it, I'll get something. I'll take that risk. Now, from memory, zombies, I don't think it matters if we use piercing or bludgeoning damage to Adam's anger. Is that correct? No, it's infuriating, yeah. Yes, yes, that's good to know. Well, that's also kind of maddening. But all right.

So piercing and bludgeoning. Well, in a previous edition of this world, previous edition. We had to use certain kinds. Sorry, in the multiverse. In the multiverse. In earlier editions of the multiverse. Like younger, I guess, or older,

depending on where you look at it, depending on where you're from. Undead really only responded to bludgeoning damage. And so piercing or slashing kind of did nothing. But in this new updated world, whatever. Anything's fair game. Well, that's good. Yes, very good for us.

Damage is damage, you know? Yeah, exactly. It looks like something has come through and eaten things. You can see that there's like a clear mark through the dust and debris and whatnot. Something has like almost cleanly just cut its way through. And you can see that there are no longer eggs or a nest. Or the carrion crawler, actually. They're all gone. Would it be a certain other carrion crawler, perhaps?

Does it look carrion crawler-y? Are there little pinpricks next to the big slide? No. You both see it's almost like a snail trail going through. Well, at least it's full. Here's where something else is here. It's nice and new. So, standing in the doorway, do you want to have, like, a look around, or do you want to go in?

Oh, yeah, well, let's go in. Who's first in? I'll do it. All right. Oh. You walk into, like, a solid jelly. Oh. Am I in the jelly? It's a slime. Yeah, you're in the jelly. Oh. Am I in the jelly?

It's a slime. You're in the jelly. Oh, I forgot about slimes. Can I try and cut my way out of the jelly? Well, we're in initiative. Oh, can I use my roll initiative with advantage good boy card, please? You can, but there will be a surprise round, and the jelly will go first in the surprise round.

That makes sense. I'm surprised. Yeah, in the surprise round. Well, it's going to be the only one who goes. So basically there's going to be a round of combat and in that round only people who knew about the combat get to act and that's going to be basically just the jelly. I wasn't ready for this jelly.

Oh, my God. But you can still roll with an advantage. I would love to. Because then you might get two attacks, you know, one after the other, which is always bad. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. get two attacks, you know. One after the other, which is always bad. Oh yeah. You just basically start inside it. Yeah, it's a clear jelly.

Glute. Yeah, it's how it gets a lot of its prey. Gotta start drinking. Hey, if Samet got in, healthy boy, breathe it in. Because it's wet. It's not water. Is it acid? It's like a gelatinous glue.

Yeah, but like- Salt water is bad for him. No, it's not. You just said it- Oh, no, that salt water at the previous thing is fine. That salt water specifically is okay. Oh. Oh, wait, did we determine that you were salt water or fresh water?

Oh, we didn't. Oh, oh. I thought we determined that you were fresh water. Oh, I didn't. I thought there was no difference. I would say that like salt water from the sea is no good for you. Oh, oh. I thought we determined that you were freshwater. Oh, I didn't. I thought there was no difference. I would say that, like, saltwater from the sea is no good for you. Oh, okay. Well, we can determine now.

We can say now. Are you saltwater or freshwater? I would be a freshwater boy. All right, that's fine. Yeah, because you've just been making freshwater. Exactly. We've been Lake Boy, so yeah, no, that makes sense. I didn't realize that that was part of their racial traits.

I would say it should be. I agree. Yes. Oh, so it's not like you're going to the sea anytime soon. I would say it should be. I agree. Yes. Also, it's not like you're going to the sea anytime soon. I mean, let's never say never, but you're not going to the sea anytime soon, so that's not within the purview of this adventure. Anyway, and then it is, it's the jelly's turn.

So, I like calling it the jelly. When we weren't ready for it, as Cass has mentioned. You need to make a dexterity saving throw. Yay! Yay! And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, did you want to run

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than we ever did. Oh wait, no, it just hits you. Sorry, you take 12 points of acid damage. Oh, fuck. It did pretty well. And then you make your dexterity saving throw. Yay!

You can be pushed. It's trying to engulf you. You can either be pushed back or to the side. Which would you rather? You could also use your resistance if you want for that kind of damage. That's up to you. I don't think you can use it for acid. Oh, wait.

Are you saying the roll to reduce damage? Yes.'t think you can use it for acid. Oh wait, are you saying the roll to reduce damage? Yes, you can use it for this if you want. Just reminding Cass of some of her moves she may have forgotten. Would you like to do that? I would like to use my stone's endurance. You only take four points of acid damage. That's a big difference. It is.

And would you like to be pushed back? Back. Or to the sides? To the sides. All right. You get pushed. You jump out of the way as it slides right on past you, and then you're going to need to make a saving throw as well. Ew.

Why did you stop? Oh. You fail your dexterity saving throw. What's going on? Love is blind, it does not. So? Yes. Yes, Adam.

Am I a fried fishy? You have to tell us. Are they going to, is the jelly going to reach into its mouth and pull me out, skeleton all? You take. A lot of damage. Nine points of damage. Oh, shit. And you are inside it. Okay.

Start drinking! You move with it. Okay. Yes, Adam. How do I get out of it? Alright, then it is Big T, your turn. I would like to extend my halberd knob first

I've got the pointy end into the thing and say, grab it. Ah. Okay. So I want to stick my halberd into the back of it so the slime is moving forward. And then my friend is saying in the same spot, what are you smiling for?

So you're going to help me? At the start of your turn, yeah. I will say that you're giving Globble the help action. So you will roll. It's a strength check to get out of it. You'll roll that with advantage because Big T's helping you. At the start of your turn, you're going to take 66 damage. Why?

Because he's in the acid and he's being dissolved. Just grab me. Grab me. Grab me. No, this is still, it's basically the same difference. Okay. Now, I was thinking like, oh, you should just use your turn to attack but this is actually so long as he survives this is the smarter course of action how many hit points do you have

at eight i better roll a lot of ones 66 6d6 yeah 6d6 that is insane um but i'm helping you are helping i'll allow you to reach in and pull him out you can make the strength check but you'll That is insane. But I'm helping. You are helping. I'll allow you to reach in and pull him out. You can make the strength check, but you'll take 3d6 damage. I will do that for my friend. All right. Would you like to rage to get advantage on this? Yeah!

In my mind, the rage means I rev up one of those little pullback cars, and my feet go off, and I run through and pull him out that way. You take 12 points of damage. Okay. And you pull him out. This is technically a fair encounter. That's fucked. Everybody run

run away. That's fair. Yes. Back off. Back up. That was your turn, Big T. Would you like to also run? I would very much like to run. Everybody back up. Everybody run.

So you'll get an attack of opportunity if you try to run, but the creature won't be able to suck you up. It needs to run over you to do that. Disengage, I guess? Could I just drink a health potion, please? Smart. You could drink a health potion, yeah. A. You could drink a health potion, yeah? A chug-a-lug, thank you.

I now see why, actually. So this is an ambush. So it's got a powerful ambush, but I'm realizing very quickly its weakness. Its greatest weakness. Did anyone roll well? Oh no, you don't know what it is yet. Alright, hang on. Big T. what do you know about oozes?

You recover six hit points. Oh, right. I just drank it. Yeah, okay. It's Love Is' turn. All right. Love Is Blind is going to... He's not going to cast Lightning Lure and drag it closer.

Maybe for the best. What about Lightning Lure and slice it in half? No. If only. Is there a way we can pour poison into it? Or make it drink a bomb? Well, you can just throw a bomb at it. It'll consume the bomb.

Whether or not the bomb will explode, it's another thing entirely. He backs up, and he fires his light crossbow. Actually, no, wait, he was in attack range. No, he's just backing up. He didn't want to get touched by it. Alright, and then globble. Globble.

Alright, so... Gelatinous cube. Large ooze. Unaligned. Surprisingly doesn't have an alignment. Armor class, 6. Hit points, 84. gelatinous cube large ooze unaligned surprisingly doesn't have an alignment okay armor class six okay hit points 84 speed 15 right so we can just outrun it yes it you just don't want to get next to it okay everybody um we need to maintain a a good distance from it but only use ranged attacks oh here it is yeah the creature within five...

Yeah, I literally... I just made up that rule about pulling another creature out, but that is part of the thing. Ah! I just didn't read that one paragraph. The one paragraph I didn't read was like, yeah, no, no, it's okay.

You can pull them out. Okay, so... There you go. And take acid damage. Yeah, of course. Yes, so everybody just back up and... Just stay...

Just do not... Whatever you do, do not get within 15 feet of it. It is slow, and we just got to chip away at it. Okay, okay, okay, everybody? Yes. This is a manageable problem. This is a problem. Everybody just stay. Do not get anywhere near it.

All right, Glove, what would you like to do? I would like to back up 30 feet. All right, you use disengage so it doesn't get an attack of up as well? Yes. All right, it's the Jolly's turn. One, two, three, four. No, one, two, three. It slides its way off the lover's blind.

The lover's blind used his feline agility and is 60 feet away. Excellent. All right, then it is Big T, your turn. Okay. So, run. Range attacks only. Then delete my javelin. Well, Big T, you have a halberd.

Are they counted as ranged? No, they don't count as ranged. It's a 10-foot weapon. It's a reach weapon. Okay. So you can go in there, stab, and then back off. You've got 30 feet of movement. Is that right?

Yeah, 30 feet of movement. So you might not be able to attack this turn, but what you could do is move in, use your range, and then back off. But you might have to set that up for next turn. So it's now 30 feet, 40 feet from you. So yeah, you don't want to double

30 feet puts you... No, actually. Yeah, no, you can attack this turn. I'd like to do that and then can I run the way after? Yeah, no. If you attack this turn, it can reach you. So...

Just maintain. Don't get too close. You set yourself up for an attack next turn. Okay, I set myself up. Yes. All right. It's lover's blinds time. Call out the same thing.

Grambit's got to stay. Maintain this much space between them. He hits with his crossbow. He deals seven points of damage. This is good. This is good. Everybody just maintain a nice distance and then back up, back up, back up. Everybody just back up.

Right. Well, I'll ensure that I am at least at least. Well, actually, 20 feet is enough. At least 15. So, yes. And I will. 20 feet. Don't be 15.

Then I can hit you. Oh, yes. At least 20 feet away at all times. Do I know flame or frost would be a bit... If I know flame, I'll just produce flame, and I'll hack flame at it. You know it doesn't really matter.

That one. The target of your attack is infused with the damage type of this spell for the next D4 rounds. Each time the target makes a melee attack, they add a D infused with the damage type of this spell for the next D4 rounds. Each time the target makes a melee attack, they add a D4 of that damage type. Oh, okay. The Jadalatnus cube begins burning. But good.

But not good. Well, good for it. Yeah, good for it. For the next one round, it's slightly more dangerous. Okay. And I'll maintain that, it's slightly more dangerous. Okay. And I'll maintain that distance. It's its turn. I'll maintain that distance. It continues to slide towards Love is Blind.

Love is Blind starts panicking. Right. No, actually, sorry. It moves its way towards you, Globble. Okay. And I'll make sure I have backup. Big T, it's your turn. I do the attack.

No, you need to stay 30 feet away. Sorry. It was 30 feet because it can double move. So yeah, you attack it. I would like to do my attack and then get 30 feet away. Can I do that?

Yep, you can. You swing. You roll the three but it's AC of six so you hit by a lot. Yeah. And the killing?

And you're still raging. Oh yes, I'm mad! You deal 16 points of damage. Yeah! Forgot I was furious! My dad's day fears! And then it is Lovez's turn again. Lovez fires his light crossbow.

Yes. That's good. He deals five points of damage. Global. Every little bit counts. Every does. Let's try that again. Produce flame.

My hands weren't wet enough. You strike it. So yuck. You deal eight points of fire damage. And I will move 30 feet away. Stay every time. 30 feet away. All right. It is its turn. High I will move 30 feet away. Stay every time. 30 feet away. Alright.

It is its turn. Highs or lows? Highs. Okay. You're lucky. The creature doesn't... The cube does not actually have an intelligence. But there is a chance, because there's rubble and whatnot, that you might unintentionally corner yourselves.

Huh. At which point, it becomes interesting. So, basically, this is just because we don't have tiles to do maneuvering and stuff like that. Of course. It's slowly, like, working its way around, trying to target someone, and it's just

over time, someone's gonna accidentally, maybe, trap themselves, and then we'll deal with that when we come to it. Okay. Of course. Big T. Okay. I'd like to attack with my halberd again. You hit. Oh, no, I forgot a man. You deal

6 plus 8 is 14 points of damage. God, I'm going! This is dangerous. This is very dangerous. Oh, yeah. There's not that big a chance it's going to corner anyone, but there is a chance.

It's Lover's Blind's turn. Lover's Blind fires his crossbow. That's right. It's a hit, of course. He rolled eight. Does he have a negative? No. Do you have any, perhaps, range spells you have there, love?

None that will not drag it closer to me. That's fair. Or that have a range greater than 15 feet. Love is Blind is a short-range spellcaster. Fair enough. Can I sort of shimmy my hip out to offer my javelin? Don't use it. Well, he actually does better with the crossbow than he'll do with the javelin.

Also, you'll lose the javelin. Yeah, but I barely use it. I gave it a bit of thought. I think it would be nice if it could serve a purpose. And at the moment, it's not getting a good... He does better with the light crossbow. That's so fine. He's very thoughtful of you.

Gobble. It's your turn. Yeah, I'm going to produce that flame. And hack it in, and then we'll back up. You hit, and you deal six points of fire damage. You're doing well. You're doing well. It's beyond bloodied.

I'm so tense. You have no idea. Highs or lows? God damn. Lows. Okay. No one gets cornered this time. I was so wanting to go high.

Big T. I would like to attack with my halberd and duck in, duck out, duck in, duck out. Look, it's a war by attrition. Yeah. You deal 10 points of damage. It's really the hokey pokey at the moment. Oh, the hokey pokey. Oh, it's big love.

It's big love. Big Love. It's Big Love. Big Love. It's Love is Blind's turn. Love is Blind hits and does but four damage. And global. Yep, once again, case producer claim. Hark it at it. You hit.

Back off. You deal six points of damage. Okay. That's not so bad. That's not so bad. With one hit point left. Oh, fuck. It's its turn. Okay. That's not so bad. Not so bad. With one hit point left, it's its turn. No. Highs or lows?

Cass, you go. I can't be it. Highs! All right. So you are one, two. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Cass, you're gonna fuck. You are one, two. Globular's three, four. And Big Love is five, two. Globble is three, four. And Big Love is five, six. Big Love. Oh, no. Big Love is backing up as it slowly slides towards him. And then he backs up against a pile of rubble.

He looks behind him, looks at the gelatinous cube, looks at the two of you and says, don't let me die like this. the latin this cube looks at the two of you and says don't let me die like this and then he needs to make a dexterity saving throw is this the end of our favorite tabaxi find out next time on stories of the gray hill free company Hey, dickhead, are you thirsty for more Sandspants? Let us shoot our long, hot ropes of content right into your gaping ear holes. Head to sandspantsradio.com to check out all 26 of our public podcasts

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