D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company I #2 Genealogy and Onomastics

Episode Date: May 15, 2021

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I'm Treece. I'm a Goliath barbarian. I am global. I am what people call a lockethan. Is that right? Or lockethar? For collection, breastplate of the Hulk. Ah. You pick another contract. This one's his. The Bestial Linen Handkerchief of Friendship for collection. You are so good at this, Falmorn says, but please let me do it.

Oh, God, that's so nice. You might be wanting this. This contract's also in the same direction as the other two. You've got to go in there. I, however, happen to be holding on to this one, and I would happily let you have it if I were to come along with you. So what is...

So Kintora is a lizard folk who can take down a bear by themselves. Yeah, some sort of hunter. Some sort of hunter. Enjoys the wild. Probably, yeah. Felmon. You seem to be a friendly sword.

I don't want to cut them in. Felmon's so nice to you. So we'll gather some supplies first, get what we need. Shovel. Shovel. You know that shovel. Jeez, stump. Yes, a shovel.

And then any kind of supplies that we might need. And then we'll... Yes, we'll chuff on off. So you get enough supplies to last you. You're probably going to have to... How long? You count the days. No, I can't. How many days is this meant to take? This would take about 12 days total.

So it would take about 13 days or 14 days of rations just to be on the safe side kind of thing. Okay. Maybe 15. Alright, 15 for Tristan Pierre. She's a growing lass. 15 days each, yeah? Yes, yes, yes. Everyone can carry their own equipment. With that, off you

set. You gather your party and venture forth. I know. I know. I know. Are know. I know. Are we going to be waylaid, Adam? Well, that's a great question. Can I get one of you, because I prefer when you do it, to roll that d12, and on an 11 or a 12, there's an encounter.

Three. Three? All right. Boring day. Day one is boring. Roll it again. Ah, Boring day. Day one is boring. Roll it again. Ah, another boring day. Two.

And one more final time to get to... You going goblins first, sorry? Yeah. Yeah, all right. Three. The three days to get to the goblins, uninteresting. Yes. I'll let you know an encounter happens on 11 or a 12.

An 11 is a minor encounter. A 12 is a major encounter. All right. So a 12 is something that might fuck you up badly. So if you want to have a bit of spice, 11 is what we're aiming for. 10 is also a sighting of the scaly creature, though that's not really an encounter. That's just you see it, and then you get a chance

to determine which direction it's coming or going. All right, okay. Good, good, good, good, good. You arrive at that scrubland. You can see in the distance the massive hulking figures of the ironwood trees. An ironwood tree is simply enormous. I don't know if any of you would have spent a lot of time in this region. Up to you. No.

How far away from, say, a big lake would it be? A few days at least. Okay. Probably not then, no. I would have done some quests on here, but, you big lake would it be? A few days at least. Okay, probably not then, no. I would have done some quests on here, but, you know, my friends don't live here. I'm not coming for social visits. Okay.

The food doesn't live here on my pantry. Yes. And I don't holiday here. So that's the big three for me. No bed, no friends, no relaxing. Well, if this is your first time properly sighting an ironwood tree, even from a distance, it's awe-inspiring. You can tell how far away, how even at a distance,

they are so incredibly massive. The diameter of these trees must be as big as a building. My word, Izay. Very big trees. I just stand there with my mouth a little bit open. Kentura, standing right next to you, also has their mouth open, but they perpetually have their mouth open.

Ah, yeah, in different reasons. A little bird, the same bird, it's always some sort of... Symbiotic relationship? Yeah, there's a little bird that lives in Kentura's mouth and picks at his teeth. That's very, very... Does the bird look happy? It's very something.

Does the bird look happy? Yes. Have you ever thought... Have you ever seen a bird and been like, that bird looks happy? Yes. Yeah? That's insane. What do you mean?

Birds can't smile. You don't have to smile with your beak. You can smile with all kinds of things. You can smile with your little wings. You can smile with your tippity-tappity toes. You can smile with your body. Some dance. Some do that weird head bubble thing that they love.

Do you think that's them loving it? Yes. They seem happy, Adam. Well, have you ever seen a bird look sad? Yes. I have. Have you, Adam? You ever seen a bird look sad? Yes I have Have you, Adam? You

Ever seen a bird be angry? Oh, yeah Heaps of times Oh, angry, angry little Oh, cute Very cute Furious little bird Fluffing itself up

Almost looks like it's frowning Should we become bird people? Maybe Become bird watchers You, Tree Stump, cannot tell if the bird is happy Can I? Should we become bird people? Maybe. Become bird watchers. You, Tree Stump, cannot tell if the bird is happy. Can I? Globble, the bird seems content.

It's nice. I want to maybe point out to... Kentura. Kentura. It's a lovely little pet you have. Yeah. Yes. So, um,

anyone else been to the ironwood, uh, forest? This is the first time I've seen an ironwood tree. It's very impressive. I, they, they,

they make, what do they make out of these? How do they cut them down? This is so. Kentura closes his mouth and the bird disappears and opens his mouth. The bird flies out as if it didn't really care and maybe lands on Kentura's head and Kentura says, I've been.

And you for a quest? For fun. For fun. What do you do for fun there, Kentura? Hunt. Ah!

What do you do for fun there, Kintora? Hunt. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you hunt? Man. Thank God none of us are that. Cherry Cheeks takes a big step away. Cherry Cheeks is a half-halfling. And what was a Felmorn again?

Felmorn is a half-elf. Half-elf. Oh. Right. Half-elf. Health. Good, good, Good, good, good. You hunt me and for sport, you say.

Yes. Fun. Fun. For fun. Yes. You haven't lost yet. Play a game. Oh, you play a game. What kind of game do you play? Hunt. Chase, man. Child best. Oh. yes, of course. Chase, man. Yep. Child best.

Oh. Child play game best. They run. The game is true. Touch tree. Yes. 40-40. Home safe.

Can't hunt anymore. It's like, does Cantura not know what T is? Did he describe it wrong? Just very much of just like, I don't know if a fish man can sweat, but a fish man had been sweating quite a lot and then been like, oh, right, right, right, right. I'll pull a kerchief out of my breast pocket and just dab that onto my forehead and be like, yes. Oh, yes, yes, I'll be playing that with this in a lake.

Yes, it's quite nice. Very good, Kentura. Very nice. Adults play bad. Yes, they do. Yes, yes. It's almost like it's a joyful thing that we lose when we lose our youth. Adults say to Kantura, stop.

So Kantura find children. Yes, yes. They're always up for a bit of play, a bit of game of hunt. Kantura gets low and then Brushing some dirt aside says Goblins here not long Yeah Anyone else if they want Could also try to inspect the tracks

I will hoik up my tights And I will Bend over and have a look in the ground I would like to bend over from the hip Oh that rolls And get my nose Pretty much touching the ground. I would like to bend over from the hip. Oh, that rules. And get my nose pretty much touching the ground. Globble, you cannot see. Kentura must be a better tracker than you because you cannot see.

Well, they clearly are. They're a hunter and a tag player. Yes. You cannot see whatever Kentura is talking about. I can't see anything at all. I look around like a very confused fish boy are you also tree stump trying to check yep hands behind my back bending down no touching the ground no it's right here kentura points and you're like maybe with your eagle eye view you're able to see

you with like a zoomed out view you're able to see the many goblin tracks here. You would not be able to say how many goblins, but you can see that there is a host of goblins. It looks like they have some sort of riding animal as well. Several paw marks are in the ground. Paw or hoof? Paw. Can I point out the paws at least?

It's just tracing it, kind of like how we did lettuce. Globble, you squint and you can kind of work out that there is tracks here but like goblin paw prints that you can't work out well look I believe you

to me it's oh it's here and then I trace into the dirt on the paw prints see thank you Oh, it's here. And then I trace into the dirt on the ball. See? Thank you. Thank you, tree stumps. Very nice. Thank you.

Okay. It's easier when you draw them again. Do you know where they're going, says Cherry Cheeks? Do I? No, you were not able to. Actually, no, no, tree stumps, yeah. You could deduce which direction they went as well. This way and a point. Fal Morn, also stepping forward, no, no, tree stump, yeah. You could deduce which direction they went as well. This way, and a point.

Fal Morn, also stepping forward, says, uh, well, that... Lead on, they say. I think to myself, wow. Genius. That's the right thing to do. He knew. He did. It is good we brought

this very, very kind person, the smartest man in the world, and we walk on. You follow the tracks for a little while, and you're not going very quick. But I took the bucket off. You still need to stop every four hours for someone to breathe. Big time. I'm like... You still need to stop every four hours for someone to breathe. Dig time? I'm like...

Can we dig a hole? I try digging. I'm digging with the wrong end. Oh, this is a lot better. I try digging with the wrong end. I make a pile. What? Yeah You dig with the wrong end and you make a pile?

Yeah, the opposite of a hole I'm using the wrong end, it went backwards I got a bad boy card Give me numbers 1 and 29 There's only 29 bad boy cards 13 And it's covered in armour I mean, I'm moving one and 29. There's only 29 bad boy cards. 13. 13. And it's covered in armor.

One creature of your choice gains the benefit and hindrance of any armor of my choice. Ooh. Ooh, that is good. Mm. I use that immediately. No. Can I get you to roll the d12 while you're tracking the goblins? Eight.

Nothing interesting happens while you're tracking the goblins. Eight. Nothing interesting happens while you're tracking the goblins, but you can tell that you're not, like, you keep seeing the tracks, and eventually you as well, Gobble, Grobble, Globble. Globble, yes. Yeah, Globble, you also see the tracks eventually as well, after enough time. Thank you, Tristan, I get that, yes. You can tell that you don't seem to be making ground.

Like they're moving faster than you because several of them are mounted on faster animals and one of you needs to stop every four hours to breathe. If we could get there within four hours, we wouldn't have this problem. I think perhaps we're going to be walking in when they are resting. So we might have to cut our rest a bit short. Yeah, if you want, you can walk through the night. I mean, it feels like we're resting every four hours. Yes, yes, we are.

I didn't say that in character. That would be rude. That would be rude, and I'm kind. I'm a nice person. You have a rest every four hours, but you don't sleep. You're not there for long enough. We have have a rest every four hours, but you don't sleep. You're not there for long enough. We have a short rest every four hours, shall we say. Yeah, if we perhaps walk through the night for four hours, of course,

and dig and then four hours. We could cut our sleep by half and perhaps we eat our rations on the go. You know, don't take a smoker. I guess we could eat our rations when we're digging a hole. I ain't happy about it, but I understand it's got to be done. Otherwise, we're not getting them damn goblins, is we? Yeah, that's very true. Who was that?

Cherrycheeks. Cherrycheeks. They don't talk a lot, but when you do, they always have something good to say. Yeah, I like to think I'm a fountain of knowledge. That's what my ma used to call me. Or fountain. Fountain of knowledge, but she shortened it. It's okay, don't think too much about it.

I thought that was Delmarine. It's a nickname. A nickname, it's typically shorter than your regular name, but in this case it was quite longer than my regular name. So like, for example, we could call you Stump or we could call you Tree or we might call you Branch because a tree has branches if we wanted to. We could call you T because T is the first letter of your name. Like a man going for a hug.

Like a man going for a hug. Like a man going for a hug, indeed. So we'll call you Big T. Heaven. Big T over here. Big T is a good one. Big T, yes. Big T would be a good nickname for you. Do you like Big T? Yeah, what do you think about it? Big T. Heaven. Big T over here. Big T's a good one. Big T would be a good nickname for you. Do you like Big T?

Yeah, what do you think about it? Big cup of tea. I have to have a bigger one, actually, otherwise it doesn't work. Big cup of tea. Yeah, it doesn't work. Tea doesn't work if it's not appropriately sized. Cherry Cheeks gives you a weird look. I give the weird look back, like, yeah, what?

Tea's got to be appropriately sized. That's the rule one of tea. Yeah. Rule one of tea. No, that's correct. That's correct. That's right, big cup of tea. That is correct.

You're absolutely right, big tea. No, big tea doesn't have the capacity to convey that they are right and knowing that you think they're wrong. I'm not exactly sure what you mean, I'm right, because what exactly did you mean that you needed it for it to work? Caffeine levels get processed differently with body type. Yeah, but you're still getting caffeine, aren't you? Yeah, but you have to have a different amount.

If I have a little caffeine, I'm still having caffeine. But not the right amount to keep you awake or wake you up. I'm just very impressed that Tree Stump knows the word cafe. No, this isn't Tree Stump. This is Cass. Oh, no, I'm sorry. You can't talk out of character no more. Everything you say, I'm now assuming Tree Stump's saying.

No, well, then I won't speak very much, will I? Yeah, I guess that was the plan, wasn't it? Tricked you. You did trick me. Didn't we get your big T? Yeah. Anyway, Globble needs a nickname now. Yes.

If you want to give it a bit of a go there. Yeah, yeah, give it. No, you try. Okay, okay. Little T. Okay. Okay. Well, little G would have worked.

That would have worked, yes, because my name starts with G, like Globble. And then when you're together, we can call you G and T. That's true, see? Show me. Point at the ground. Show me. I get twig. With my finger or twig, I just write like tree stump.

So T for tree stump. Also like tavern. So tree stump is the same. That is a T, and that's how you say tree stump and cavern. But see, my name is Gloppel, and I write a big G. Possum. Yes, like a possum. That's a G.

A G. Possum in tree. Yes, possum in tree. Possum in tree. So if you want a nickname there, it could be possum. Possum. Oh, my gosh. Sorry.

When they learned that, I just saw some more marbles fall out the back of their head. A nickname there could be Possum. Possum. Oh, my gosh. Sorry. When they learned that, I just saw some more marbles fall out the back of their head. Tree stump turns around. Falmorn slaps cherry cheeks in the back of the head. Be nice. Oh. Oh. Falmorn. That's so sweet.

I don't see it because I'm looking for the marbles. She tries her best. But yes, possum works. Tree stump, big tea and possum. That's pretty good. Kentura turns and says, Kay. Kay, yes.

And gives you like a look. I nod. Kay. Yes, Kay, like Kentura. I write Kay on the ground. Kay for Kentura. Seat on the side. Yeah, like a seat on the side That's K

K like Kentura's mum and Kentura's dad Are they both Kentura? Yes There you go, Kentura Kentura Kentura comes from long line of Kenturas This is Shaken Tree Stumps world It was already previously shaken Kentura's whole family are Kenturas.

Are your whole family fish? Yes, yes. Are your whole family big man? No, one big ape, one man, yes. What? I look confusedly at possum. Why you draw possum? That's a G there, Kentura.

That's a G. G for global. I'm global. G not spelled like that. No? How do you spell G? He writes G-E-E in the dirt. That's how you spell G.

Possum cats cats. Yes, he's like a possum in a catching. Yes, but I'm saying my name is, I write my name. Globble, that's my name. That's my, me, that's me. Is that not fish? No, it's globble. Show me Kintura.

What? Show me in the dirt what your name is. He draws a... Oh, wait. My name? Yeah. He draws himself. Cantura.

It's me, Cantura. Why isn't my name spelled like my name? Why isn't my name spelled Tristan? Why have I got manhug? I ask you. That is a picture, like an art. Art? That's opening up a can of worms.

Yes. You do it again. Yes. So that's art. This is letters. So if I draw, say, another lizard folk, how would you tell the difference between that person and, say, Kentura? But this one's Kentura. Yes.

So if it looks like this, it's Kentura. So if I drew Kentura, do you have any brothers or sisters? Yes. What are they? Do you want to draw their names? He draws himself again. Kentura's brother. Kentura's other brother.

Kentura's third brother. Yes. Kentura's sister. Yes. Oh, sorry. He draws another one. It looks identical. Kentura's sister. Kentura's other brother. Yes. Kentura's sister. Yes. Oh, sorry. He draws another one. It looks identical. Kentura's sister.

Kentura's other sister. Yes. Kentura's four more sisters. See how they're all very similar? Oh, he circles both of them. Kentura's brother and sister, twins. It's actually a pretty good system, actually, Kentura, now that I think about it. But see how that, like, took quite a while?

I want to also just be in a hole in the ground right oh yeah it's like just like uh uh like arms as you would if you're on the edge of a swimming pool it's very good that's very nice so what i would do and then like see that's very nice over there so good like i called icons there it's making a name but over here we can this is a bit more um safe so if if were, say, other Kenturas or other lizards folk. That aren't Kentura. Yeah, that aren't Kentura. How would they write themselves next to Kentura? A picture of them and not Kentura.

But if you've never seen them before. Falmorn gestures to Kentura and says, take a seat here next to tree stump. And Kentura does so. And then Falmorn sits in between you tree stump and Kentura and takes out one of their books, opens it up to a page, just any page, and starts pointing out letters to you and stuff. Yes, yes, yes. So these are words and letters.

What Kentura is doing is often called like maybe a – it's called pictogram. That's the word I was thinking. Yes. Thank you so much, Feldman. Thank you. So a pictogram is different to words and letters. It looks like what it means. But my name starts with a man giving a hug.

So that is kind of like a mix almost of letters and pictograms, what you're describing. But what Globble here has written is your name in just letters. They're pictures. No. Simple pictures. See, they look like pictures, but they're not. Why?

Some people just do it differently. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Everyone does what they're comfortable with. Like the glue in the hole. Yeah. It's different.

Yes, exactly. Like the glue in the hole. They both work. Both of them would have definitely accomplished the same things, but differently. Oh, thank you. No, it's okay. What's your picture? Falmorn writes Falmorn in the...

Actually, no, they probably write in a very cursive, strange-looking script. Globble, you know Elvish? It's Elvish. Yeah, right. I don't think I know Elvish, but... Yeah, so this is... I do know Elvish. The letters I was showing you just now, the letters and words,

these are common. So this is one. It's like how pictograms and words are different. There are also different kinds of words. I look exhausted. Like I'm trying, but I'm just like that bit of information that there's more has sent me over the edge you don't need to worry about that it's fine

what's your nickname? it's kind of say if you were to draw our good friend Kentura how it would look a little different to how Kentura would draw Kentura yeah that's a good way of putting it you know how sometimes I speak and you don't understand what I'm saying yes To how Kentura would draw Kentura? Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. Yeah.

Do you know how sometimes I speak and you don't understand what I'm saying? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. How? It's like a different language. It's a different way of speaking and there's a different way of writing that matches the different way of speaking. Does that make sense? Like how Tavernin for my dwarf friends, isn't the man giving a hug.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly like that. Yes. It's a lot of knives and forks. Yeah. Well, so do you feel like you kind of understand? It's okay if you don't. No, but I'd like to stop.

It's okay. It's fine. Thank you. Are you hungry? Yeah. Belmorn pulls out an apple for you and Kentura. Yeah. There you go.

Good job. It's nice, isn't it? This is like one of the letters. It is. It is. But we don't need to talk about that. Thank you. Yeah.

But you're learning. You're doing very well. I'm very proud of you. It is. But we don't need to talk about that. Thank you. Yeah. But you're learning. You're doing very well. I'm very proud of you. Thank you. You're very welcome. Love some apple. I'd love a little bite of apple. Yes, I'd break a bit of apple, have a bit of a nop.

Then I'd hop out of my bath and... After that little side? Shell? Yeah, you keep going. I like that you leave little ditches everywhere you go. That's so easy to track. That's so easily trackable. You're filthy, by the way, because you're always covered in mud.

Yes, yes, yes. I mentioned my pristine white tights. I mentioned they're quite long. Yes, not pristine anymore. Maybe you should bring a towel. Yes. And you don't do it in your clothes. Yes, probably on the smarter side.

So there's strip down time. Yes, yes, yes. Well, you can strip down while I'm digging the hole. Yes, yes, I can do it in my small clothes because I want to absorb the water. Everyone takes on a level of exhaustion from walking through the night. Well, mine's from thinking. You have two levels of exhaustion. Cass, in real life, from role playing, I was furrowing my brow and now I've got to head tank.

Can you roll the d12 one more time before you reach the goblin? Oh no, we've got a 10. Oh no, we've got a 10. 10? Alright. Well, it's the worst time to get it because it's night. Damn. All of you, your entire entire host hears a roaring sound somewhere

in the air and then kentura gets low it says flying snake oh is that the um yeah that'd be that'd be the thing what whatever it is uh do i have dark vision do any of us have if you have dark vision you don't have dark vision to a sufficient range. Okay, right. It's up in the sky. Alright, so I'm going to make a perception check for everyone. Globble, you don't see it. Damn.

Tree stump, no. Tree stump, no! I look down. Yeah, looking at the ground snake. Snake? I don't know where snakes would go Kentura, looking up at the sky Points and then obviously is tracking where they can see it Big, he says Right, oh, right Anyone else tracking it?

Is it like, it's We can hear it, yeah It looks like Falmorn is also able to... Falmorn nods and says, yes, I can, I see it as well. Are there any night birds around? I see what you're saying. You can make a survival check.

I'll quickly make a survival check. Yeah, you could quickly find an owl, I suppose. Right, can I just quickly do speak with animals? Boop. Woo. All right. Hello there, with animals. Boop. Woo. All right. Hello there. A little fellow there.

Hello. That big thing that was, did you see, did you happen, that big thing that you saw that made the loud sound? Big bird. Yes. Does that come around here often? Hi, Zalos. Hi.

Hi, Zalos. around here often. Hi, Zalos. Hey, hi. I'm new to the area. It's my first day. Have you perhaps seen it anywhere else? No.

As we're having this conversation, I want to kind of scan for a different bird very nice you find another I don't know another type of owl maybe good hunting recently yes you have a good night

lots of good mice excuse me oh delicious mice no no put a quick pause because I forget my favorite thing to do is put a timer on this. Right. It's 10 minutes. 10 minutes? You'll be fine.

Unless I drag this out. I'm going to give you nine minutes and 30 seconds from your current chat. Okay, that's more than enough. Yes. Hello. Hello. Yes. That big bird.

Hi, Solos. Hi. Yes. You see it often. You see that often? Hi. Sorry, did you say hi Solos hi no I do not oh

you don't know why but this bird is lying to you perhaps if I gave you a bit of food maybe you might change your mind? No. Is there anything you want? And now a quick word from our sponsors.

Also, do you know we do far too many things? Like, we've gone and adapted one of our campaigns into a novel. So if you're sick of listening to us and want to instead enjoy your own voice narrating an adventure, just head to SandsPantsRadio.com and grab your copy of The Auticus today. Print run is limited, but it is available as an e-book, or grab them both in a bundle. Once again, that's SandsPantsRadio.com. I just want to be left alone. Right. Okay. The bird want to be left alone. Right.

Okay. The bird seems to be scared of you. Oh, so I don't need to be afraid here. Here, I'll grab like a ration or something like that. I'm like, would you like... If you get close with the ration, the owl hops a little further away. No, it's okay. I'll put it here on this branch here, and I'll back

away. Is this fine? The owl hops down and eats it. Are you together? Who's the big thing? Oh, no, no, no. We just want to know where it's going. I thought you were like a distraction maybe. Oh, no, no.

You've got nothing to worry about from me, Mr. Elu. My name is Globble. Nice to meet you. I am... The owl has a moment. Names. I will call you Mr. Hootie, how's that sound? Okay.

Yes. So, Mr. Hootie, have you seen that big worm? Ten minutes up. But you spoke so long. No, I'm kidding. Sorry, keep going. So, have you seen that worm a lot? Yes, sometimes.

Yes. Do you know which way it flies in particular? About the same way it's flying now. All right. And how often does it come back here, you say? Every now and then. Every night? The owl seems to be contemplating names and time, and that seems to be really freaking them out.

So does it happen every night, or perhaps every time the moon is full? When the moon is full? When the moon is full? You know, that big thing in the sky. No, it happens more often than that. Okay, so it happens more than once a month. That's nice. Is it every day?

I don't know. I'm sleeping. Sorry, every night. My bad. Sometimes, yes. Yes. Yow, burps. What did you give me?

You must have done a bit of... Poison! A bit of ingestion there, I see. So sorry, Mr. Hoppy. So this happens every round again, right? Does it land around here or does it just fly on by? How's the lows again?

Highs. Highs? Yes, highs. Oh, he's going to trick you. Yes, lows. Will Mr. Hoody be forthcoming with any useful information? Find out next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company.

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