D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company I #25 Religion and Society

Episode Date: October 23, 2021

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Before we get to today's episode, I just want to let you know that we went and filmed a D&D's for Nerds miniseries set in the frozen norths of Icewind Dale and based around Wizards of the Coast's recent Rime of the Frostmaiden adventure. The first two parts of this six-part campaign are available right now for you to watch in glorious whatever quality we uploaded it in. Follow the link in the show notes, go to our website, sanspantsradio.com, and hit banner, search for Sans Pants Radio on YouTube, or whisper, where is it? Tell me your secrets! into the mouth of a common house cat

and wait for the next step. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Home of comedy, Culture. Adventures. And ghosts. Previously on Stories of the Greyhill Freakum. And they need to make a constitution-saving throw, which they fail, so they take an extra 12 points of poison. Well, that's great.

You take down a wolf spider. Best news. The other spiders are not sure what to make of this. This is greater news. Kind of isolated from you lot, but also away from the spiders. That's what we want. That's what we want.

Teleporting in behind him is the phase spider. Shit. Shit. Don't what we want. Teleporting in behind him is the phase spider. Shit. Shit. Don't. Not fan. Bad. Hate. Love is blind does the big air suck and goes away. The phase spider obviously tries to attack, but is buffeted by strong winds all

around Love is Blind. You take down another one of the giant spiders. Hey. If you are my friend, what do I call you? I draw a G in the dirt. I try to write it. I do write it. Take me to a cleric.

I cast Cure Wounds on Big T to see if I can. You can cast Cure Wounds. Oh, how much do I get back? The magic is relatively the same. Big T, you recover 7 hit points. Adam, as a druid, I get animal shape.

Can I animal shape into my fish body? As in a human? Unfortunately, you can't. No, you can't. It's like a human? Unfortunately, you can't. No, you can't. It's like a, oh, let me look up the rules.

What if? Can I now transform for an hour a day? No, you can't, unfortunately. It's got to be a beast. Are there any beasts that I have come into contact with that can talk? Well, I was going to say, what about. A cockatoo. Some kind of bird. You can't fly.

Would your character know about cockatoos and birds? Would you have been to an analogue of Australia within this place? I don't know. Would you have been somewhere tropical? Probably, actually, yes. Okay, well, you might know a tropical bird that you could talk through. You could also try turning into a monkey as the closest one and train the monkey to speak for an hour every day.

And so by the end of a week week you should be able to say words i would allow a animal that can innately speak but i would not allow an animal that could slowly learn to speak all right well i will quickly transfer into a non-flying bird that can just hop around for a bit uh but can talk is Is that allowed, Adam? I'd allow that, yeah. Right. Can we get myself to some kind of cleric or a god? Something to... I hate this.

Chantal is trying to keep as straight a face as possible, but you can see the corners of her mouth curling a little bit. And Yeola, looking at your tiny little bird frame, says, I don't know. I kind of like it. I cross my bird wings. Well, I do. I'm glad that we're very brave right now because if we weren't very brave, I'd be very scared. I don't like this very much at all.

Do we know where the- You're meant to be so wet. Yes. I am furry and sticky I'm not a huge fan of it It's not great It's nice that I can do this for about an hour a day

I don't have to constantly get wet What happens to my old body? Do we just dunk that in water and leave it there for a bit? We can perhaps put it in a lake and tie it down or something Just leave him in the lake Does he I don't know, tie it down or something. Just leave him in the lake. Does he still need to eat? I need to

eat. By the way, I'm getting very hungry for mostly flesh. What if you're a bird and we feed you these nice bits of seed? I mean, look, as a bird, perhaps that'll be my eating. So can I eat as a bird or some kind of animal that doesn't feast on flesh

for an hour a day or two hours a day? Four hours, really, because it's a short rest. And that will satiate me so I don't have to keep eating people. Why don't you just cast Goodberry? Oh, yes, I can cast Goodberry on myself. As a spider, can I eat that? Yeah, I'd allow it. Well, I guess I'll get Goodberry then.

Okay. Well, either way, I'm not happy. I get stroppy. He is a bit cute, isn't he? Yeah. Yes. I start preening myself. All right.

That taste good? You help those people back to their wagon. They're very appreciative of you. They, um, can I get you to roll the encounter die? Mm-hmm. A nine. A nine. And a second time? A five. A nine. And a second time?

A five. A five? What do I make a living? They, a lot of their stuff has been looted or scattered, but of what

they have left, they reward you with a simple vial glass with an unmistakable skull and crossbones label glued to it. It's a vial of acid.

Oh, not, not pirate juice. It's kind of like of acid. Oh, not pirate juice. It's kind of like a pirate juice. Shut your fucking mouth. A pirate juice. I don't know. God damn it.

And a pair of bone dice with flecks of gems for the pips. Oh, couldn't I have them? Worth seven gold. That's basically all they have to spare now. I don't say anything, guys. I've probably reverted back to a spider. A grumpy spider. You have your old body tied up and on your back.

Yes, I'm not happy either. Well, I don't say this. I skitter. Should we return? So are we pushing onwards or returning back? I do a big shrug. Well, I suppose we've done a lot so far. We've done very well.

Love is Blind has been inspecting you for some time now and been like checking magical auras and whatnot. Love is Blind says, whatever has happened here, I do not know how to end it, but I do know that it is not getting worse. So while obviously this is not an ideal situation, I do not think there is a time element to this.

I kind of like, we'll do like one tap for yes, two taps for no. So one tap. We could push onwards like this. One tap. Okay, I think we should maybe go back uh just to have a look to see if anybody can help us him only one person needs help all right hang on so you're voting go back one tap for go back one tap for continue two taps for go back one tap for continue all right well look I'm counting that almost as two votes because I feel like if anyone has a right to say let's go back, it's him.

I thought you were saying no to the time limit. One for yes, Kimber to another parrot. One for yes, two for no. I truly misheard you. It was pretty clear, yeah. I don't know how you misheard me. It's not great, but it's fine. And honestly, as a bit of a bigger spider,

perhaps it would be very useful against the cult we're facing because honestly, how are they going to expect a big spider? Also, we probably should deal with that. They'll try and squish you. We tried to squish you. I know you did, but you won't. And they will be, I can kind of crawl up onto the roofs, have a look in.

I'm pretty good you know now that's it i think chantelle like the pretending at a serious expression drops and an actual serious expression is there and chantelle says well i think it would be worth going back to camp because i think uh this is not an ideal situation and i don't want to be traversing around with a giant spider yayola socks her in the shoulder and says, Nah, I like it. Yola understands. Look, we've got a mission to do.

We're already here. He's very close to the church. All right. That's why we don't just keep going. It's in my vote anyway, honestly. Should we probably do something with that face, spider? Love it. Oh, no.

Yeah, that is definitely a problem that's going to come back to bite us. Sure is. Don't like the use of the word bite there, but yes. Yes. Probably let that druid know. Also let the druid know that I'm me. Maybe know something. Anyway.

How do I find the druid again? Leafy boy. I'll speak with animals. Yeah, quick. As a cockatoo. No, I can't do that. As a quick. As a cockatoo? No, I can't do that. As a spider? That is going to be hard.

You can cast the spell as a spider, but not as an animal. This is going to be very hard, yes. Yes, well, I'm stumped. Look, unless you can get a squirrel and then bring it to me, and then I become the spider. If you can't speak with animals, it doesn't matter what you're speaking. You speak with the animal. That's fine. Oh, yes, true. Yeah, are you like, oh, I'm a spider. I can can't speak with animals, it doesn't matter what you're speaking. You speak with the animal. That's fine. Oh, yes, sure.

Are you like, oh, I'm a spider. I can't talk to the animal. No, no, no. I'm worried that they're going to run away because I'm a giant spider and they are perhaps a squirrel or something that... Look, I think it would be a disadvantage on your check, but I don't think it's impossible.

Okay, well, look, I'm going to convert back to a spider and then cast Speak with Animal on my face. And then I'll be like, Hello, anybody. I am not a city giant spider. It looks like I am, but I'm not. I'm good friends with... What was his name?

Druid of the Stars. Is that with a T? Was it Tina? Treeb? Greedove Fashmarash. Greedove. Greedove. Greedove or Greedove? Sorry, it's Greedove Fasharash.

Sorry, there's no M in it. Greedove Fasharash. Yes, we look at everyone around. I'm a friend of Greedove. Anybody? Any animal that you talk to in this region just points in a direction. That's the same one, not random. Yes, look, if you would let Greedove know that we are the adventures that he made.

I'm global. Look, I know I look like a spider. So you're like looking at a mother squirrel holding one of her babies, tapping her foot, just watching you talk. Yeah, I'm aware. Look, I'm very sorry. Magical mishap. I switched with the mind of a spider. No one here is happy. I'm aware. Look, I'm very sorry. Magical mishap. I switched with the mind of a spider.

No one here is happy. I'm not happy. The spider is not happy. As you can see, he's strapped to my back as there's me. This is me. This is my face. That's what I was meant to look like. Look how handsome I am.

Look at this grotesque face. I miss being handsome. Anywho. She gives you a withering glare. I understand. Like she could take you Okay, well if you could let Grey Dove know that

the fey spider is a bit weakened and that yes, we got some of its kin and we're going to go to this church here and we'll be on the way back in a few days or at least let someone know and pass it on.

Hopefully they'll, okay, Miss Squirrel? Okay! Thank you. Very, very nice. I look to the rest of the gang. What do they see? They see a spider conversing with a fucking squirrel. That's great.

This has got to be in the top five weirdest things I've ever seen. I stroppily walk along with everybody. Funnily enough, global is in two of the other ones. I was going to say, surely we've at least made the top three by now. Yes, it is strange. Look. I say we go for ten.

I mean, there are top ten. Whatever. No, but kick the other ones out Sure Top 10 strangest things for us as a fan We do not need to have this conversation Alright everyone gets a long rest The night passes uneventfully

Because now the spiders Were the only real danger in this area Nothing was hanging around here because it was scared of them And now that they're gone You get at least one night Spiders were the only real danger in this area. Nothing was hanging around here because it was scared of them. And now that they're gone, you get at least one night without any interruptions to your sleep. Oh, nice. The next day, those caravaniers make their way onwards into the... Well, actually, they probably turn back and go back the way they came. They're not interested anymore.

It wasn't worth it. This is just a lost voyage for them. They thank you one final time, though, and as they're retreating into the forest, you look northwards towards the looming dangers of the cult ahead.

How would you like to proceed? Stealthily. Me in front, I'm presuming? I'll go at the back. Okay. You're traveling for another day. Can I get you to roll the Encounter dice twice? Nine. Two.

You're traveling for another day before you see it. In the distance, there is a hill. The forest is kind of almost completely gone. Actually, it's gone. You're out of the forest at this point. You're in kind of rolling slow hills. And atop one of the tallest hills near a large lake, there is this massive stone and wooden building. It looks like a lodge house of some sort, like a place where hunters may come.

Or like a country house almost. It's got kind of like a country house vibe to it. There are three separate buildings but one primary one the other two buildings one of them is a stone kind of small castle like structure and then the other one was whatever it was it is long gone it's been knocked down almost completely only its skeletal remains exist still we could probably see through the whole house, yeah? Oh, through that one? Yeah. You could see every element of the house. You could see, it's all of the

walls. You know how that classic sort of appearance where there was a building here and then it's kind of been felled, but there's still the nubs of the walls if you know what I mean? The foundation. Yeah, the foundation still exists.

There is also still the fireplace to that one. And like I said, in addition, there's a lake around the back of these buildings. You can see you get kind of enough of a vantage on your walk through towards there. You can see this on the back part of this property. There is a small boathouse and then a jetty that exists into the lake. You can see a boat on the lake and you can see several people walking around these properties.

Maybe in total, like literally only three people. Not a lot of people. This isn't the cult, is it? It is. Well, at least this is where it should be. I see why they stayed. It's really nice here. They might have tricked me if I hadn't been clear.

Oh, so much wet for your friend. Yes. I assume you're excited. It feels like, by the way, the spider instincts within you exist, but they are controllable. It's just every now and then you act a little aggressively. Oh, isn't it. And three is sorry. That's all right.

It just hurts my feelings. I tap three more times. Okay. That's all right. So we go find a little bit of lake to dunk him in? I point to the cultist with one of my many legs Yeah, should we keep your body safe? One for yes

Sorry, what are you saying? Where's the lake? Is it past? Oh, it's behind So, yeah, you've got that major building There's a path that rolls through the hills And the path leads right up to that major building, there's a path that rolls through the hills, and the path leads right up to that major building. Then on the right-hand side of that building to the west,

there is a stone building that looks almost like a castle. It has a tower attached to it. Actually, it looks kind of... Imagine if a wizard's tower had exploded out of a castle. That's kind of what it looks like. That was on the left-hand side or on the west side. Then on the right-hand side or on the east side, there is the remains of a building. There's still standing a grand, giant-looking fireplace,

but the rest of the building has been largely knocked down. Behind there, there is the lake, and on the lake, there is a boathouse and a jetty. Oh, okay. Probably not. We probably can't drop him off first. I'll, um... Oh, you could if you went, like, a long way around.

It'd take you maybe four or five extra hours. But on a five-day walk, what's that? I convert back into a talking fly-thrus bird. Right. So he's pretty safe on my back. He's pretty fine. Oh, if you're okay. I mean, it's you. Yeah, I mean, he looks a bit dry, but we

dunked him not that long ago. I was just thinking if we, you know, put him in a lake and tied him to something, he'd be fine for like a week. I mean, no. I still have to eat. There's stuff in the lake, yeah? Also, the chance of something coming along and eating it, or me, is quite high in a leg.

Look, I prefer a kind of like... Okay, you can propose. Like a mother spider brooding. Maybe a little bit too protective of myself. Okay. Like a mother spider brooding. You know what that looks like, right? You know.

Yeah. It strikes me in the normal part of my brain. I think, oh, nothing, because it's so normal. Yes, it's fine where he's close to me. Okay. Well, a thing to point out

for this is that our contract dictates that we actually, where is it? Our contract dictates that we actually, where is it? Our contract dictates that we must find the sword sage amulet of the fortune teller. We need not actually deal with the cult. Is it true? Oh, that's good.

I mean, if we just need to find a necklace. Yeah, I mean, we could probably go and talk to maybe one of the cultists. We might even be able to buy it off them. I mean, that seems unlikely, but it is possible. Yes, look, that's not a bad idea. Make no mistake, though. These people are not nice people. You don't think they're going to be reasonable?

They might be reasonable. They might just not be nice. Look, I'm for that. I'll stay as this little talking... Chantal spits on the ground. I don't like the idea of that. Well, what about we go in, we all just stay ready.

I'm all for having a pleasant conversation, but I don't like them. That's fair. What about this? We go in there, we ask them some questions, see where are they, in terms of maybe wanting to purchase something, and then if you

don't like what what the answers they are yeah you can grab your warhammer and start swinging i may just do that yeah and now a quick word from our sponsors hey handsome and handsomeettes today's episode is proudly sponsored by our good friends over at the hard dice podcast what a podcast that takes movies and board games and blends them together into some kind of delicious podcast smoothie with three distinct flavors? Well, Hard Dice has you covered. They take movies and make them a semi-playable board game. They take board games and make them a semi-watchable movie.

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Yes. All right. That's probably clever. Do you want to jump on the shoulder? Yeah, I'll jump on your shoulder. Can you carry me like a baby? I have to. Yes.

I have to pick him up. What about your body? I'll be picking up a big... Oh, he's holding that. All right. Can you carry me like a baby? Yes, I have to pick him up. What about your body? I was picking up Big T's, holding that. All right, so you've got both. Okay. I start preening Big T's hair. It's just a habit. That seems fine.

How long is your hair? It's past my shoulders, which isn't very long for me. But for other people, it's pretty long. Why is that not very long? Because I'm very tall. So it's not very long. But you're proportional. Yeah, but my hair is only past my shoulders, so it's not very long.

But you're proportional. Yeah, so for me. So are you saying that for anyone hair past their shoulders is not long? Yes. I said not very long. It's got some length to it, I'll admit, but it's not very long it's got some length to it i'll admit but it's not very long and so but if you took one of my hairs off and you put it on a halfling it'd be a very long hair well correct yes it takes me longer to grow i think i don't oh does it no i think it does. No, it doesn't. I grew it with my big girl roots.

You've got bigger cells. Oh, I don't like that. Do you have earrings? Your red blood cells are a bit bigger than a halfling's. Either way. Do you have earrings as well? Yes, and they would be very heavy If you were small Cool

But I'm big So it's alright It's allowed I'd be preening your hair And occasionally Going for the earrings No need It's too big

You joke You don't have lips To spit it out Wouldn't this be terrifying For you? Because sometimes Because if If the pirate is perched

On your shoulder You're surely When you turn to look You're looking up at the bird. No. I think it depends on the size of the bird. That's true. Parrots are pretty big.

That's true. How big is your talking bird in your world? A parrot would be probably is appropriate size for how they would be here. And so I would say that as a parrot, some parrots are small. How well versed is Globble in types of parrot? How tropical have you lived? How tropical have you lived? I would say probably not that tropical.

I imagine being more like a swamp dwelling. Occasionally go to like a tropical swamp. So you probably don't have a lot of... All right, highs or lows? Let's go with highs. Highs? Okay, you could pick a smaller parrot if you want All right, highs or lows? Let's go with highs. Highs? Okay, you could pick a smaller parrot if you want. Okay, like a smaller macaw.

Yeah, sure. I don't know many types of birds in paradise, so... Let's go with some kind of, yes. Like a lorikeet, eh? Sure, yeah. I don't know if lorikeets can talk, but all right. Good point. I'll just go with a macaw.

We don't know any pretty birds. I'm not an avarist, and I choose not to know about birds. I choose to never learn about birds. I'll be a pretty macaw. Yeah, all right. All right. So I turn my head. No, he's small.

You'd be looking down. No, we have decided that was this role, that was this conversation. You don't need to be afraid. An important conversation that we had. All right. Roll for spoken spoken your friend okay if you insist so chantelle gestures forwards and says well no time like the present i suppose you move forwards there is that main building there's the side building and then the like i

said there's like just some rubble that was once a third building that is no longer would you like to approach the main building which is kind of a little bit more it's probably the furthest building from you and then the side building is a bit closer the side building has also farmland around it it looks like this place is kind of somewhat encapsulated like it and they probably grow and then like harvest or whatever their own foods and stuff like that so if you wanted to you could approach from you could approach towards the main building you could approach the side building if you wanted to go to the side building you could through that farmland

probably arrive unnoticed if you wanted to. You see, as a quick reminder, you see, because we had a long conversation, you can see about three people wandering around the grounds. You assume there are more because the buildings are quite big. It stands to reason. But you only see three people outside. I'll be a cockatiel. I was just Googling some certain birds.

I am upset with you. I asked you not to tell me. I'm not telling. I'm telling Cas. All right. Good. Just in case I'm getting a bad boy card. Oh, man.

Give me a number between 1 and 29. 4. 4? 4. I missed out on why you're not allowed to tell him. What did you say? An NPC takes a sudden dislike to a PC. I think that's like the third one I have as well.

Yeah. Yeah, good luck with this encounter. Yeah. Good luck finding a non-violent solution, because I got one for each of them now. Either way, I'm being distracted by the shininess of your earrings. I feel like I'm going to just encapsulate the smooth brain of a bird right now.

Right. Well, in that case, Love is Blind kind of takes a natural leadership role, and you just kind of walk along the main road towards the main building. Well, you think I can't lead? Do you try to? You think I can't lead?

Love is Blind says, let us go towards the main building. Oh, good idea. Yeah, I fucking thought so. All right. As you approach, you can see one of them stands up. He's a elf, but he, you know that like classic monk attire and haircut? Yes.

Yeah, so imagine a elf, but in that sort of a, like the simple brown robes and then with that bowl cut with the big bald patch in the middle. Their ears would look so funny. Sticking out of that little bowl cut. Be cute. Good funny. As you approach, he looks at you quizzically. You can see that he was tending to a small garden bed.

He approaches you. As he approaches you, you see that he has, he's wearing like around his neck, a metal pendant. The pendant is in the shape of like a frog's head. Maybe more of a toad actually than a frog. So like larger, a little bit more warty and almost intimidating looking. As he approaches, you can hear a soft jangle, jangle, jangle in one of his pockets.

I probably unlocked something cool. Probably money, maybe. Anyway, I keep going back to this. Can I help you, he says. Oh, hello. Oh, sorry. Love is blind steps forward. I've become confused because I forget you're allowed to speak to monks.

Depends on the monk. Yeah, I know. And I panicked. Hello. No. We wish to discuss a proposition with you. You have something we want and we want to trade for it. The monk looks at you, like your entire group, very hesitantly.

One of you is, oh no, you're a bird right now, not a giant spider. He looks at each of you hesitantly and then says, what are you exactly looking for? We are... I stare with my beady bird eyes. I kind of cock my head, you know, like a... We are looking for the sword sage amulet of the fortune teller.

We are led to believe that it is here. I nod. By one of those bird nods, you know, they do it with the whole body. I do one of those nods, but it's a bit stupid. You can see the other two monks who were kind of standing next to each other. They're, like, crowded or huddled, I should say, around

something. You can can't you couldn't see it on the approach and you still can't really see it they have quite clearly taken notice of you as well and both of them are wandering over curiously uh okay then you'll probably want to talk to the friar um come with me i suppose suppose, he says. Thank you. I bow. I do a little chirp. All right. He doesn't return the gesture.

As I nearly launch you off my shoulder with the bow. As you walk past where the other two monks were, you can see that there's cards laid out on a little table. It looks like they were playing a game of cards. As you approach and they can see that everything's okay, they return to it. You're not sure exactly what game they're playing, but when one of them, clearly they're trying to put cards into a pile in the middle.

When one of them places a card down, the other one quickly snaps his, one of them's a human, the other one's a tabaxi. The tabaxi quickly snaps his paw down on the table and says, Fruits! And then you walk past them. Oh, they're so huge. As you approach the main building, the doors swing open as if,

well, probably guided by some sort of magic. And you step into a large atrium. The second the doors start opening as well, you can hear the sound of like an old time piano playing, like, you know, one of those automatic ones. There's like ding, ding, ding, like the, like just slow plucking. You can hear that. And then when you start adjusting to the inside light as you approach it, you can see inside

it's like a casino. There are a lot of monks here here maybe 20 to 25 in this the atrium is also quite large in itself you can see that this building splits off into two wings and then has from a grand staircase goes up to an upper floor through either of the wings all the doors are open on this ground level all the doors are open and you can see like blackjack tables roulette wheels card games dice games of all sorts you can even see some sort of strange like a row of some sort of strange boxes that a couple of monks are sitting at and every now and then one of them there's like a an arm like a gnarled wooden arm on each of the boxes one of the monks pulls at the arm and then a little viewing slot

on the box starts whirring rapidly and if you take a if you take like a glance you can see that it's running through various shapes and colors i mutter i look at big t and mutter under my breath oh no oh my goodness. You could also see here as well. In addition to... Whisper, stay on. Focus. I want to see him spin. Oh, there are lights and colors all over the place, Tree Stump.

You know what? That's a fair fucking point. Each of you need to make a wisdom saving throw. Tree Stump, you're bad at this. Tree Stump immediately diverts. Almost immediately, it's like three steps into the room. I don't know how to play. Okay, we'll play... I know, so I figured that out. Globble. You manage to keep your wits about you.

You can see that a lot of these sort of attractions and sights are quite obviously designed to catch the eye and you feel like there might actually also be magic to this. Like literal magic compelling people to wander. And you can see the tree stump is quite obviously... I don't mind even. Because you have a gambling problem. I think it's good.

Chantel also similarly turns and wanders away. That's what I play for you. Oh, fuck. Love is blind as well. Yayola, with your wisdom. Yayola also wanders away. Globble, you're the only one who made their save. For the love of...

You're just sad because you don't have fingers right now. Yes. You lose sight of the other three. You and Tree Stump are alone right now. Anyway, where are we going? Put a coin in my beak. I'm putting this lot. In addition to monks, you see other creatures here as well.

You see people who must be bandits. Like they look hard and rough sort of people. One of them is still covered in blood and is pulling incessantly on a box. And you hear as you walk past them, you hear them muttering, Lemons, lemons maybe some people here are more cogent than others though you can see there is like an old-fashioned wizard like purple robes with silver stars on it and like that big classic hat you can see he's at a roulette table and he quite obviously when when you walk past he gives you like a morose sort of

nod like he he knows what's happening you see that he's not really been affected he is maybe just here to actually have fun as opposed to some people who seem to be magically compelled right yes yeah um big t i have a thing what would felmon do here when we have to try and get a particular amulet? Would they be distracted by these – give me a coin. Come on. Tree stump. By these things. Just once. And then we'll go and – okay.

You can have one. Have a go. Have a go. All right. Have a go. Will tree stump and global be able to stop at just one little flutter? Find out next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company. What if I told you everything you know about the world is wrong?

What if I told you that all the things you were told were impossible were, in fact, very much the opposite? Reality is not what you think it is. It's so much more complicated. Fascinating. And, above all, terrifying. We are at the fringes of the map. And there's more than just dragons. As you're travelling further and further and further north,

you're looking at your phone, watching as five bars becomes four, becomes three, becomes two, becomes one, becomes that little emergency E sign. About a year ago, a company called Bismarck Oil & Co. collapsed. When it collapsed, several documents became unsealed. It was filled out by Officer Lenny McBride. That's who I am. I got one girl at home.

I got a daughter and a wife, but she's looking after the daughter at the moment. And yeah, that's who I am. Len, Len to my friends. at the moment and yeah, that's who I am. Land to my friends. You see a big painted sign in very big and bold words both in English and in French. Warning

at all times, please keep your weapon. Okay. The elevator takes you down underground. You get the willies. Do you think that once it's out, it will be gone, or...? It'll be free. What are we dealing with?

What is this? What on earth could you think it is? An awful thing. Something that turns men against men. I gently put my finger under Wade's chin and lift him up and kind of look him in the eyes. You all right there, Wade? You took a bit of a tumble. I don't know. I don't know. You don't believe these stories, do you?

Beyond the Map, an anthology series set in a world not that different from our own. Listen week to week on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Alternatively, you can just grab the whole campaign as a digital download on our website, sanspantsradio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch.

D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice

and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.