D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company I #6 Cautious Return
Episode Date: June 12, 2021Sign up to our newsletter here. Join our facebook group here or join our Discord here.You can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073.Want to help support the show?...Sanspants+ | Shop | TeesWant to get in contact with us? Email | Twitter | Website | Facebook | RedditOr individually at;Adam | Cass | Tom | Jackson | ZammitTheme music by the wonderfully talented Mia (AtomicCupcakes). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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                                         Sants Pants Radio, Australia's most cowardly podcast network.
                                         
                                         Previously on Stories on the Greyhill Free Company
                                         
                                         Kendra, you've got one.
                                         
                                         Kendra's gone.
                                         
                                         Oh, no.
                                         
                                         It was such a good lizard.
                                         
                                         It was such a good lizard.
                                         
                                         How are we doing so poorly?
                                         
    
                                         If memory was to serve me correct, we were doing pretty decent,
                                         
                                         and then someone sprinted into a trap, which was actually an alarm.
                                         
                                         Mr. P.S. Felmore?
                                         
                                         No, who's going to be clever?
                                         
                                         Who's going to be the clever one?
                                         
                                         All right, would you like to roll for Cherry Cheeks?
                                         
                                         Cherry Cheeks is on one fail.
                                         
                                         That's it, that's just us.
                                         
    
                                         No!
                                         
                                         Cherry Cheeks, Kentura, and Felmorn are dead.
                                         
                                         You both wake up tied to a post.
                                         
                                         You're back to back.
                                         
                                         Both of you are gagged because they know that you can at least cast spells.
                                         
                                         You crush his head in your hands.
                                         
                                         He's dead. Does he have the
                                         
                                         salt rub still? Yes. I put it
                                         
    
                                         on him. The goblin has a long spear
                                         
                                         and it pokes the tent with the spear.
                                         
                                         Gargum! Gargum! Gargum! Gargum!
                                         
                                         I call out. Another deception
                                         
                                         joke. I knew this had
                                         
                                         come in.
                                         
                                         You realize that if Tree Stump looked in every direction and didn't see the woods,
                                         
                                         then there is one direction that the trees could be.
                                         
    
                                         Behind us, yes, of course.
                                         
                                         Okay, so what we're going to do here.
                                         
                                         Using a knife, I want to cut a little bit.
                                         
                                         I want to cut a little bit in the back of the tent so I can peer out.
                                         
                                         Without sticking my whole head out, I just want to cut a little bit and see what's going on.
                                         
                                         You cut a little bit into a goblin.
                                         
                                         Actually, I'll give you advantage on this as well.
                                         
                                         You're probably going to pass anyway.
                                         
    
                                         Not 20.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         So a number between 1 and 31.
                                         
                                         Let's go with 18.
                                         
                                         18.
                                         
                                         Quick siesta.
                                         
                                         Gain the benefit of a long rest on a short rest.
                                         
                                         That would have been handy.
                                         
    
                                         So handy.
                                         
                                         No, it's handy now.
                                         
                                         No, because we can't do a short rest.
                                         
                                         I mean, you could do a short rest.
                                         
                                         I mean, you could.
                                         
                                         All right, all right.
                                         
                                         But that card only works for one person.
                                         
                                         Yes, true.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, okay, well.
                                         
                                         Good to keep in mind.
                                         
                                         What do we see?
                                         
                                         You open it up, you look out, and you can see the tree line.
                                         
                                         How's all those?
                                         
                                         How's?
                                         
                                         It's not that busy on this side of the tent.
                                         
                                         It's, like, not at the edge of the camp,
                                         
    
                                         but there's no like creature or tent in your way.
                                         
                                         If you cut open,
                                         
                                         you could just sprint towards the trees.
                                         
                                         You might even not be seen doing it,
                                         
                                         but no guarantee.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         So,
                                         
                                         um,
                                         
    
                                         we could have a quick rest here.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Uh,
                                         
                                         and then perhaps if hopefully no one comes into check.
                                         
                                         But then if they do,
                                         
                                         we are of course stuck in a tent.
                                         
                                         Or we could try and make a bolt for it.
                                         
                                         If we quickly cut here
                                         
    
                                         and we both run into the forest
                                         
                                         and we keep running for a little bit
                                         
                                         and then we can rest up.
                                         
                                         I think...
                                         
                                         I like the second one one the second one's clever
                                         
                                         the second one does i think falmon would have done it right we have to think like right yes
                                         
                                         what would falmon do falmon you trick me you're you trick me all right we'll we'll cut a bit more
                                         
                                         and then we will so we're okay so cut a bit more and have a look more.
                                         
    
                                         So is there any goblins around?
                                         
                                         Like if we were to quietly walk that way, how quickly is the tree line?
                                         
                                         It would take you maybe five minutes to reach the tree line.
                                         
                                         Oh, five minutes.
                                         
                                         That's a long time.
                                         
                                         That's a long time.
                                         
                                         But if we sprint.
                                         
                                         If you sprint there, you'd be in like one minute.
                                         
    
                                         And would they make a noise like you're sprinting?
                                         
                                         You'd make a lot more noise and be a lot more visible.
                                         
                                         But the positioning of tents and whatnot, you might actually go unnoticed.
                                         
                                         No guarantee.
                                         
                                         Oh, but we might.
                                         
                                         That's true.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         But I think we take the risk.
                                         
    
                                         Risk it for that.
                                         
                                         Risk it.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Okay, Big T.
                                         
                                         On the count of three.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         So one, two, three.
                                         
                                         We run, right?
                                         
    
                                         One, two, three. We run, right? One, two, three.
                                         
                                         We run.
                                         
                                         I do that quietly, obviously.
                                         
                                         You both explode out the back of the tent and sprint towards the tree line.
                                         
                                         Highs or lows?
                                         
                                         Highs.
                                         
                                         Highs?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Almost immediately.
                                         
                                         No, not almost immediately.
                                         
                                         You make it nearly half of the way before you hear brrrr.
                                         
                                         And then you can tell the goblins behind you are in like an uproar.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         Keep running.
                                         
                                         Keep running.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
    
                                         Let's go up a tree.
                                         
                                         Let's go up a tree.
                                         
                                         No, just keep running.
                                         
                                         Trap yourselves.
                                         
                                         Trap yourselves.
                                         
                                         Cass.
                                         
                                         If we have a head start, it means we'll get tired first.
                                         
                                         Fucking old Cass.
                                         
    
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Almost immediately, you can hear wolves closing in behind you.
                                         
                                         Do you glance behind?
                                         
                                         I have a quick squiz.
                                         
                                         You can see four goblins riding wolves chasing after you.
                                         
                                         None of them are the alpha, though.
                                         
                                         How close?
                                         
                                         I would say within 60 feet.
                                         
    
                                         I will try and frostbite while I keep running.
                                         
                                         All right, that will slow you down, though.
                                         
                                         That's okay.
                                         
                                         And maybe you could huck one of the knives or something, if you want.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Aim at the wolf.
                                         
                                         Aim at the wolf.
                                         
    
                                         The wolf makes its saving throw for the frostbite.
                                         
                                         And then you throw a knife.
                                         
                                         You strike a wolf.
                                         
                                         The wolf is stopped dead in its tracks.
                                         
                                         The wolf goes from 60 to 0 in a second.
                                         
                                         Is it like hitting a bike with a stick right in the spokes?
                                         
                                         You deal 8 points of damage to the wolf. It goes
                                         
                                         straight between the wolf's head,
                                         
    
                                         splitting it and keeps going a little bit.
                                         
                                         The wolf hits the ground.
                                         
                                         The goblin tumbles off
                                         
                                         taking...
                                         
                                         The goblin...
                                         
                                         The goblin that falls off
                                         
                                         the wolf
                                         
                                         hits a rock
                                         
    
                                         going like 80k.
                                         
                                         Does the goblin
                                         
                                         essentially
                                         
                                         do the exact opposite
                                         
                                         of a gun?
                                         
                                         Instead of fast rock hit head
                                         
                                         fastest head hit rock.
                                         
                                         It sounds and looks
                                         
    
                                         like a balloon filled with jam were stabbed.
                                         
                                         That's the wolf.
                                         
                                         And then imagine that that caused a second balloon filled with jam and white sticks to be thrown at 80 kilometers an hour against a rock.
                                         
                                         That is what it looks and sounds like.
                                         
                                         No, they don't have...
                                         
                                         Both of them die too quickly to make a noise of pain.
                                         
                                         Anyway, you keep running.
                                         
                                         You've lost your cleaver.
                                         
    
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         As I write, here's a knife.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I thought I would have thrown a kitchen knife.
                                         
                                         Okay, now they're starting to kind of slow down a little bit or you're making you're
                                         
                                         making like good time well then look at all these knives i have yeah as we are i want to like frost
                                         
                                         uh are you continuously stopping yeah yeah like frost uh oh in that case then they just catch you
                                         
                                         oh do they well yeah if you keep stopping to cast
                                         
                                         spells they they're already moving faster than what if he kills them before they get there
                                         
    
                                         yes well we'll see all right so you spend another so you turn to frostbite then i turn and throw a
                                         
                                         knife the wolf takes six points of damage and then you throw a knife. You strike the wolf.
                                         
                                         Dealing seven points of damage.
                                         
                                         The wolf does not go down.
                                         
                                         Which part of the wolf is the knife sticking out of?
                                         
                                         Face?
                                         
                                         Shoulder.
                                         
                                         The three goblins throw javelins.
                                         
    
                                         Oh.
                                         
                                         It's easy.
                                         
                                         Duck.
                                         
                                         A number between 1 and 31.
                                         
                                         6.
                                         
                                         Let me show you how.
                                         
                                         Roll a saving throw or attack
                                         
                                         roll for an ally using your bonus.
                                         
    
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         One of them fires at
                                         
                                         Actually, no matter what happens, all of them target tree stump.
                                         
                                         Even if you're downed, all of them target you.
                                         
                                         Oh, shit, shit.
                                         
                                         That's a hit.
                                         
                                         You go down.
                                         
                                         Damn.
                                         
    
                                         No.
                                         
                                         The second attack will be a miss.
                                         
                                         The third attack will also be a miss.
                                         
                                         Three chavelins.
                                         
                                         One javelin impacts Big T, knocking them over.
                                         
                                         Two more javelins land next to them.
                                         
                                         I thought we had a lot more time than we did.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         We did 60 feet.
                                         
                                         I don't know how fast a wolf travels.
                                         
                                         40 feet.
                                         
                                         I don't know how fast a fucking wolf.
                                         
                                         Anyway, it's your turn.
                                         
                                         Fuck, fuck, fuck.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         Well, I will, I guess, Frostbite.
                                         
    
                                         The wolf fails its saving throw.
                                         
                                         You bring down another wolf.
                                         
                                         Right, and I'll try to drag my good friend Big T.
                                         
                                         That goblin falls down, taking only three points of damage.
                                         
                                         And I'll keep dragging Big T.
                                         
                                         The two remaining, God bless, the two
                                         
                                         remaining riders
                                         
                                         you are struck at least once.
                                         
    
                                         You only have one hit point.
                                         
                                         So would you like to do your saving throws again?
                                         
                                         Yeah!
                                         
                                         Yeah!
                                         
                                         Sixteen.
                                         
                                         Twenty!
                                         
                                         You will be bound again.
                                         
                                         You just don't go to...
                                         
    
                                         In 12 seconds?
                                         
                                         In 12 seconds.
                                         
                                         Well, all right.
                                         
                                         So, if you want, we can play this out,
                                         
                                         but the goblins are probably going to capture you.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Well, okay.
                                         
                                         Let's see big T.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, let's see what big T is.
                                         
                                         Yeah, look, to be fair, let's see what big T gets.
                                         
                                         19.
                                         
                                         Success.
                                         
                                         9.
                                         
                                         Fail. 20! All right. 19. Success. 9. Fail.
                                         
                                         20!
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
    
                                         That was one round after.
                                         
                                         All right, so you get one round of action, Globble.
                                         
                                         You wake up.
                                         
                                         The wolves are, like, circling around you.
                                         
                                         There's one goblin, two wolves.
                                         
                                         Sorry, there's three goblins, two wolves.
                                         
                                         One of them is on foot now.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
    
                                         Okay. Okay.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Back against the wall, baby.
                                         
                                         Back against the wall.
                                         
                                         What have we got?
                                         
                                         I've got frostbite.
                                         
                                         I've got not much in terms of shape water.
                                         
                                         I can't shape their water inside them.
                                         
    
                                         Have you used your spells?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Oh, shape water is a cantrip, right?
                                         
                                         Mm-hmm.
                                         
                                         Because like, oh, imagine, imagine.
                                         
                                         Imagine if I had good spells.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, okay.
                                         
                                         Equipment.
                                         
                                         Don't have much.
                                         
                                         Do have a knife.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         I'm going to take a defensive stance.
                                         
                                         Stance.
                                         
                                         Sure.
                                         
    
                                         Of dodge.
                                         
                                         No. Okay. Yes. Let defensive stance of dodge. No.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Let's go for dodge.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         The goblins lash out at you with javelins.
                                         
                                         Just the mounted ones.
                                         
                                         That's a miss.
                                         
    
                                         And another miss.
                                         
                                         Two javelins fly either side of you.
                                         
                                         You're standing.
                                         
                                         You're awake.
                                         
                                         Do you have any rage? No, you're out of rage. You're standing. You're awake. Have you had any rage?
                                         
                                         No, you're out of rage.
                                         
                                         I was so mad.
                                         
                                         You remember when they raged and ran at the camp?
                                         
    
                                         Yes, I remember.
                                         
                                         How could I forget?
                                         
                                         Why was there glass at the bottom of the pit if it was a warning?
                                         
                                         That was there because they were just throwing in lanterns
                                         
                                         and then they got excited and started throwing in other things they're simple creatures canonically bald
                                         
                                         um how close uh yeah how where am i in relation to everything how you're close enough to reach
                                         
                                         out and touch one of the wolves and riders can i reach out and cut the face off of one of the
                                         
                                         wolves and riders well you don't have a knife
                                         
    
                                         right now. Yeah. I had more knives.
                                         
                                         We grabbed all the kitchen knives. Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         How many have you thrown? You've thrown two.
                                         
                                         I'd say you have, if you, I'd say you would
                                         
                                         have had five knives total. So you've
                                         
                                         got three left. Alright. You
                                         
                                         slash out at the wolf.
                                         
                                         This one's gonna come down to the wire.
                                         
    
                                         Uh, do we have any?
                                         
                                         Oh, wait, no.
                                         
                                         Your bonus is incredible.
                                         
                                         No, you hit.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you bring a wolf down.
                                         
                                         But you don't bring them down at speed.
                                         
                                         So the goblin only takes four points of damage.
                                         
                                         But it's now an even amount of goblins and wolves.
                                         
    
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Then it is...
                                         
                                         Globble, it's your turn.
                                         
                                         One wolf left, and two wolves.
                                         
                                         Two goblins.
                                         
                                         No, one wolf. One wolf, two goblins.
                                         
                                         One wolf, two goblins. That's great.
                                         
                                         Okay. We can do that.
                                         
    
                                         Globble.
                                         
                                         In that case...
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Both those goblins are a bit injured, yes?
                                         
                                         One of them has.
                                         
                                         One of them is still riding a wolf and is uninjured.
                                         
                                         Okay, okay.
                                         
    
                                         The one that was downed has been injured or is on foot is injured.
                                         
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                                         I would like to frost the one of the goblins.
                                         
                                         Which one?
                                         
                                         Let's go with the one on top of...
                                         
                                         Let's go with the goblin that's injured.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         They failed their saving throw.
                                         
                                         Good start.
                                         
                                         Three frost damage.
                                         
    
                                         That goblin goes down.
                                         
                                         That's good.
                                         
                                         We've got one goblin, one rider left.
                                         
                                         Unfortunately, it is their turn.
                                         
                                         I want to then.
                                         
                                         How's the lows?
                                         
                                         Can I move as well?
                                         
                                         Yeah, you can move if you want.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, I'll try and move away.
                                         
                                         How's the lows?
                                         
                                         Highs.
                                         
                                         That goblin and rider turn around and ride back towards the camp.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Let's run.
                                         
                                         Yes, yes, yes.
                                         
                                         We run, we run, we run.
                                         
    
                                         You just keep moving, trying to get away.
                                         
                                         Can I get you to roll the encounter dice?
                                         
                                         You travel for an hour, basically.
                                         
                                         Seven.
                                         
                                         Seven?
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         After maybe one or two hours of traveling, you encounter no goblins.
                                         
                                         You think you've evil...
                                         
    
                                         Well, you don't know that you've lost them.
                                         
                                         It's very possible that they could be tracking you.
                                         
                                         But you have an hour or two breather now.
                                         
                                         Let's dig a hole.
                                         
                                         Up a tree.
                                         
                                         What is it
                                         
                                         with you and trees?
                                         
                                         You can get too high.
                                         
    
                                         No, it's only
                                         
                                         if things are over my head.
                                         
                                         That's too high.
                                         
                                         And you'll climb up a tree over your own head.
                                         
                                         My head's coming with me.
                                         
                                         No, it won't. Yeah.
                                         
                                         Not if you climb wrong or if you're judging it by your original height.
                                         
                                         No, I don't have relativity.
                                         
    
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Well, if you don't have relativity, then when Globble put his hand over his...
                                         
                                         All right, never mind.
                                         
                                         That's different. So I don't have relativity in that he did that his... All right, never mind. That's different.
                                         
                                         So I don't have relativity in that he did that and then it was...
                                         
                                         Never mind.
                                         
                                         Unimportant.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
    
                                         Climate tree or whatever.
                                         
                                         Can I dig a hole and try...
                                         
                                         Can I try and do what Kentura was doing and find some water in the ground or whatever
                                         
                                         to try and not die?
                                         
                                         Do I know what she was doing?
                                         
                                         Yeah, you're not an incredible
                                         
                                         survivalist.
                                         
                                         Actually, no, you are. You're a pretty good survivalist.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, good. Oh, good. Alright then.
                                         
                                         You're pretty decent at this. I know what I'm doing. You find water.
                                         
                                         Yeah, dig.
                                         
                                         Let's have a quick short rest.
                                         
                                         In fact, you actually don't even need to dig a hole. You find a
                                         
                                         little spring. You find a little
                                         
                                         like... I hop in. It's not like
                                         
                                         especially big. You would
                                         
    
                                         describe it as a babbling brook,
                                         
                                         basically, but you can submerge yourself in it.
                                         
                                         I get in there, get that soup smell off me.
                                         
                                         I know you don't see, like, I'm actually,
                                         
                                         I'm good. I wasn't going to suffocate, but I just feel like
                                         
                                         I would like to get clean.
                                         
                                         So I get clean.
                                         
                                         And during this, maybe take
                                         
    
                                         a short rest. And then, as such,
                                         
                                         that gives me the benefit of a long rest.
                                         
                                         You get a long rest?
                                         
                                         I take a little rest, too.
                                         
                                         I don't know that it's better for you than it is me.
                                         
                                         How many hit points?
                                         
                                         All of them on a long rest.
                                         
                                         Oh, this is glorious news.
                                         
    
                                         You can now also take a short rest.
                                         
                                         Ah.
                                         
                                         And you don't need it, a long rest.
                                         
                                         I don't need it.
                                         
                                         You're going to play the recuperator.
                                         
                                         All right. Big Big T come here
                                         
                                         Ah
                                         
                                         Cure wounds
                                         
    
                                         You look very injured
                                         
                                         So I'm just going to quickly
                                         
                                         Ah
                                         
                                         You recover six hit points
                                         
                                         Tree Stump
                                         
                                         Oh thank you
                                         
                                         I feel a lot better
                                         
                                         That's good
                                         
    
                                         Right
                                         
                                         So
                                         
                                         What's the plan of attack here
                                         
                                         Do we
                                         
                                         How long have we been
                                         
                                         Because we could go back
                                         
                                         To our camp
                                         
                                         We need our weapons
                                         
    
                                         And we need
                                         
                                         the breastplate. Yes.
                                         
                                         Okay, so let's see. How many
                                         
                                         goblins were in that band?
                                         
                                         Did we ever take a quick head check
                                         
                                         or at least
                                         
                                         any kind of notice of
                                         
                                         perhaps how many that are left alive?
                                         
    
                                         Did we count?
                                         
                                         Can I count? There was the big bitty one.
                                         
                                         Yes. Yes.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         And then there was definitely one more left.
                                         
                                         You saw in your look nine goblins.
                                         
                                         You count nine possible goblins that could be at the camp.
                                         
                                         There could be more, at least nine more goblins.
                                         
    
                                         What if we set the whole camp on fire?
                                         
                                         I like where you're going with this.
                                         
                                         It's a great plan.
                                         
                                         That's the plan.
                                         
                                         Okay, that was it.
                                         
                                         Our weapons have metal, so we're okay.
                                         
                                         And the plate is metal.
                                         
                                         Your weapons are the only things that are from you.
                                         
    
                                         Your backpacks.
                                         
                                         So our rations, our food source.
                                         
                                         With money, we can buy new food.
                                         
                                         That is a good point.
                                         
                                         How about, what do we do? Why don't we go back a little bit
                                         
                                         Stalk them a little bit
                                         
                                         Think like Falmore
                                         
                                         Think like Falmore
                                         
    
                                         I've had the two of you live so long
                                         
                                         Luck Adam
                                         
                                         Pure luck
                                         
                                         It's been insane
                                         
                                         I nearly died
                                         
                                         So many times so many times.
                                         
                                         So many times.
                                         
                                         So why don't we go there, stalk them, try and maybe lure a few of them out,
                                         
    
                                         and then we take them out.
                                         
                                         It's little by little because you're very strong.
                                         
                                         You are incredibly strong, Big T.
                                         
                                         And so if you can just get a hand on them, well, off they go.
                                         
                                         I want my cleaver back.
                                         
                                         Yes, your cleaver was very good.
                                         
                                         You were very shockingly good with that cleaver.
                                         
                                         It was terrifying to watch.
                                         
    
                                         Thank you.
                                         
                                         That'll make dinner too.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it was very good.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         I like dinner.
                                         
                                         So I guess we need to head back to where we came, maybe take a wide berth,
                                         
                                         and let's see because hopefully they won't pack down just yet.
                                         
                                         Oh, no, they'll move.
                                         
    
                                         They did seem to be more set up to eat.
                                         
                                         So I guess they're going to be there for at least a day, I would think.
                                         
                                         It will take them a very long time to eat all the food.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Or to cook it.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Halfling takes a long time to break down.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
    
                                         So let's head. make a fall off the bone
                                         
                                         Let's head back there
                                         
                                         Big T
                                         
                                         Great, good thing to say
                                         
                                         You love to hear it, you know
                                         
                                         So let's head back
                                         
                                         And we'll have a see
                                         
                                         See if there's anyone guarding
                                         
    
                                         And perhaps we'll try and
                                         
                                         Get them before they alarm anyone else
                                         
                                         Because that's really what got us a lot.
                                         
                                         They keep telling other people.
                                         
                                         They keep getting their…
                                         
                                         How do we call our friends?
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         I want to call our friends.
                                         
    
                                         Unfortunately, our friends are back a few days away at camp or uncontactable.
                                         
                                         Or dead.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Well put.
                                         
                                         Yes, big T.
                                         
                                         Or dead. Let's Well put. Yes, big T. Or dead.
                                         
                                         Let's give them a wide berth and head back to the camp.
                                         
                                         So you're going back home?
                                         
    
                                         No, no, no, no, no.
                                         
                                         Sorry.
                                         
                                         Going to go to the camp.
                                         
                                         The goblin camp.
                                         
                                         The goblin camp.
                                         
                                         We'll do a wide berth.
                                         
                                         You have to tell me when to go.
                                         
                                         I will, of course.
                                         
    
                                         Because I'll go.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         Have I gotten back any of my rages?
                                         
                                         No, you haven't had a long rest.
                                         
                                         I'm tired. Tell you gotten back any of my rages? No, you haven't had a long rest. I'm tired.
                                         
                                         Tell you what.
                                         
                                         Why don't we?
                                         
                                         You've only used it successfully once.
                                         
    
                                         That's 50%.
                                         
                                         A lot of universities would consider that a pass.
                                         
                                         Tell you what.
                                         
                                         Let's go so that then we're at least in earshot of the goblins.
                                         
                                         We'll have a long rest around the goblins. They'll hear us.
                                         
                                         Are you allowed sleeper?
                                         
                                         I don't know. I'm not awake
                                         
                                         for it.
                                         
    
                                         Fuck it all.
                                         
                                         Fuck it all. That's a good point.
                                         
                                         That's a good point. Good point, Big T.
                                         
                                         So how about this? We'll go over there and we'll be like and we'll have a bit of a look out, see what's going on.
                                         
                                         And then if things were safe for us, we'll do a hidey hole.
                                         
                                         Kind of like, you know when cherry chicks put us in a way to hide?
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         We'll do that again and have a long rest.
                                         
    
                                         What do you think?
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         How well did that work?
                                         
                                         For us, it worked very
                                         
                                         good. Okay. Yes.
                                         
                                         So we'll do that. We'll head
                                         
                                         back to the
                                         
                                         goblin camp, trying to
                                         
    
                                         be extremely stealthy.
                                         
                                         Okay. Yeah, and to a wide-ish berth.
                                         
                                         Both of you gain the benefits of a
                                         
                                         long rest. Oh, yes.
                                         
                                         It feels good to have a good
                                         
                                         big sleep. I guess you slept most of the day.
                                         
                                         Oh, both of you.
                                         
                                         Oh, well, they've already removed you.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, no, wait.
                                         
                                         I haven't removed your long, your exhaustion.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         What is it still?
                                         
                                         Hang on.
                                         
                                         Oh, that's right.
                                         
                                         We were.
                                         
                                         Wow.
                                         
    
                                         We did not handle the first encounter with these gobos well.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         We were exhausted.
                                         
                                         I think. And full heart. We just weren't ready. We just weren't well. No. We were exhausted. I think.
                                         
                                         And full hearted.
                                         
                                         We just weren't ready.
                                         
                                         We just weren't ready.
                                         
                                         We didn't have preparation.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You know what it was?
                                         
                                         A lot of dead weight.
                                         
                                         And now we're skinny.
                                         
                                         What a dead weight.
                                         
                                         What a dead weight.
                                         
                                         The weight is dead now.
                                         
                                         So you're approaching, I guess, at night, since you've slept most of the day.
                                         
    
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Night owls!
                                         
                                         Oh my god, you can talk to the owls again.
                                         
                                         I could talk to the owls if I needed to, but let's save that for healing.
                                         
                                         So, you approach the encampment, I assume stealthily?
                                         
                                         Stealthily.
                                         
                                         We're doing this very stealthily.
                                         
                                         We're trying to give it a bit of a wide berth so we can kind of be very sneaky.
                                         
    
                                         All right, so I get a bad boy card.
                                         
                                         Goddamn.
                                         
                                         Nah.
                                         
                                         Nah.
                                         
                                         That was a good sound.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I don't know where it came from.
                                         
                                         Can I say, Cass, love the sound.
                                         
                                         Oh, thank you.
                                         
    
                                         Why are we so bad at this?
                                         
                                         No, we're good at finding adventure.
                                         
                                         That's true.
                                         
                                         Does trouble find us or do we find trouble?
                                         
                                         Can I get a number between 1 and 29?
                                         
                                         29! Thank you!
                                         
                                         29. Shouldn't have done that.
                                         
                                         DM hit points. Creature of your choice
                                         
    
                                         regains 10% of its full HP.
                                         
                                         Gonna be using that one soon.
                                         
                                         Soon?
                                         
                                         Hey, if it's creature,
                                         
                                         what about
                                         
                                         your pals who are oi creatures?
                                         
                                         Anything is a creature, basically.
                                         
                                         So what I'm hearing is if you use it on someone else, that's rude of you.
                                         
    
                                         No, it's not.
                                         
                                         Oh.
                                         
                                         Oh.
                                         
                                         What about your good friends?
                                         
                                         Yeah, one day we'll loophole him into helping us.
                                         
                                         Highs or lows?
                                         
                                         Highs. Highs or lows? Highs.
                                         
                                         Highs.
                                         
    
                                         You know we like highs.
                                         
                                         It seems like it'll have a better outcome for us.
                                         
                                         A group of five goblins just randomly patrolling around.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         Ew.
                                         
                                         Happen to stumble upon your tracks.
                                         
                                         You can hear them from behind you with the camp in front of you going
                                         
                                         and then rustling as they start making their way towards you right um we need to like
                                         
    
                                         uh gesture to trees you can see there may be uh they have dark vision so i guess they're not
                                         
                                         dangling any sort of lantern wait do you look a minute. Did goblins just trick me?
                                         
                                         Do they just seem like they have dark vision?
                                         
                                         They do.
                                         
                                         They seem like they should, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah, they seem like underground dwelling creatures.
                                         
                                         They have dark vision, so they don't have a lantern of any sort.
                                         
                                         But you can, even in the moonlight, still make them out.
                                         
    
                                         Although they have yet to have spotted you.
                                         
                                         But they've found your tracks.
                                         
                                         How far away would they be?
                                         
                                         You have maybe one
                                         
                                         roll.
                                         
                                         Ha!
                                         
                                         Is there anything around us we can quickly
                                         
                                         duck and hide and then maybe ambush them?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, you...
                                         
                                         There's like a ditch,
                                         
                                         a natural ditch in the undulating
                                         
                                         wilderness that you could secret yourselves in.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         Would you like to try and conceal your movements so they're not tracking directly towards you?
                                         
                                         We'd like to conceal our movements and then quickly hide.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
    
                                         So then when they come to us inspecting, we can then jump out.
                                         
                                         Which one of you are doing it?
                                         
                                         That's a survival thing, yes?
                                         
                                         I would call it a stealth role, actually.
                                         
                                         I'm plus two on stealth.
                                         
                                         Plus bloody three, mate.
                                         
                                         Oh, take the lead.
                                         
                                         Take the lead.
                                         
    
                                         Global.
                                         
                                         I'll follow you.
                                         
                                         No, you have to follow me.
                                         
                                         Oh, so I have rules for assisted checks as well.
                                         
                                         So, Tree Stump, you could help if you wanted to.
                                         
                                         The DC is 15, but if you fail it by 10,
                                         
                                         sorry, if you fail it by 5, so if you get a 10 or less,
                                         
                                         you impose disadvantage.
                                         
    
                                         I'll do my best to help.
                                         
                                         You're helping?
                                         
                                         Yes, we are.
                                         
                                         You help, we'll do this.
                                         
                                         All right, you get disadvantage.
                                         
                                         Sorry.
                                         
                                         Cool.
                                         
                                         As Tree Stump, instead of covering up your... You're maybe like Tree Stump.
                                         
    
                                         You cover up this section, I'll cover up that section, you're maybe like tree stump. You cover up this section.
                                         
                                         I'll cover up that section.
                                         
                                         And you look back to find that tree stump
                                         
                                         has done a big arrow in a different direction.
                                         
                                         Well, it'll confuse them, I guess, but not great.
                                         
                                         No, look, it'll do something.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         You still do a pretty decent job.
                                         
    
                                         You maybe like run over and then scratch out that arrow as well.
                                         
                                         And you're like, come on.
                                         
                                         No, no, no, no.
                                         
                                         This way, a different arrow.
                                         
                                         Got this.
                                         
                                         Yep.
                                         
                                         And then we'll, good work.
                                         
                                         Good work.
                                         
    
                                         You did great.
                                         
                                         Thank you.
                                         
                                         Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.
                                         
                                         Shh, shh, shh.
                                         
                                         The five goblins make their way near your position.
                                         
                                         And, well, we'll roll for initiative as you leap out to surprise them.
                                         
                                         We'll wait for them to be almost their backs to us,
                                         
                                         and then we'll leap out.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, that will be their closest to the encampment.
                                         
                                         Is that okay?
                                         
                                         How close are we?
                                         
                                         Not incredibly close.
                                         
                                         A goblin would be able to make it to the camp in two rounds,
                                         
                                         but noise might also travel,
                                         
                                         so you might have to deal with these goblins quickly.
                                         
                                         Okay, well, I guess because we're quite melee characters, or at least
                                         
    
                                         Tree, Big T over here
                                         
                                         is definitely melee, so we don't, we want
                                         
                                         to basically, so basically Tree Stomp
                                         
                                         can get there in a single turn
                                         
                                         and hit them in a surprise.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you could do that this round. Yeah, you could
                                         
                                         attack them from kind of any angle that
                                         
                                         you chose, it's just where exactly
                                         
    
                                         you want. Okay, we'll do that from like
                                         
                                         far away from the camp as possible.
                                         
                                         Alright, so basically as soon as they're within range of you.
                                         
                                         Yes, as soon as we get that.
                                         
                                         Going to get the drop on them.
                                         
                                         So inventory-wise, we have the spear
                                         
                                         that we got from that guard
                                         
                                         and maybe like
                                         
    
                                         two daggers. Yes, we have
                                         
                                         two knives from the kitchen.
                                         
                                         Throw?
                                         
                                         Throw.
                                         
                                         Throw then charge. Throw it and charge.
                                         
                                         Throw a knife, run with the spear.
                                         
                                         Should you rage now?
                                         
                                         How many rages in a day do you have?
                                         
    
                                         Big D, it's your turn.
                                         
                                         I usually get angry twice a day.
                                         
                                         Twice a day?
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Maybe today is when you get angry now.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         That didn't make a lot of sense sense what you just said, but sure.
                                         
                                         Alright, Tree Stump, you're raging? Yes,
                                         
    
                                         I would like to rage and throw
                                         
                                         Un Petit Dagger.
                                         
                                         You rage, rage, rage,
                                         
                                         rage against the... Hey, do you know
                                         
                                         Big D, you have an ability called
                                         
                                         Stone's Endurance, where as a reaction
                                         
                                         you can reduce the damage
                                         
                                         that you take by a d12 plus 3
                                         
    
                                         once per short rest. Huh.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         No, I didn't know that.
                                         
                                         Wow, that would have been real useful.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         We'll make a note of that.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Make a quick note.
                                         
    
                                         We're making a note.
                                         
                                         So reduce damage.
                                         
                                         You can reduce damage.
                                         
                                         And I die if I don't breathe water for every four hours.
                                         
                                         Cool.
                                         
                                         Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
                                         
                                         Cool.
                                         
                                         Cool.
                                         
    
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Nat 20.
                                         
                                         Hey.
                                         
                                         You. Oh, wait. You're using a knife right now.
                                         
                                         You get what you pay for, maximum damage,
                                         
                                         and you and the target must make a contested strength check.
                                         
                                         If the target loses, their weapon is broken.
                                         
                                         The goblins have, I imagine, drawn their weapons
                                         
    
                                         as they're tracking your footsteps.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         This goblin, as you launch out of the darkness,
                                         
                                         brings their scimitar up,
                                         
                                         and you stab through the scimitar into the goblin.
                                         
                                         Good.
                                         
                                         Delicious.
                                         
                                         He gave me a target.
                                         
    
                                         That is three years.
                                         
                                         Yeah, the scimitar shatters in the goblin's hands,
                                         
                                         and you deal maximum damage, so there's four goblins left.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         That's great.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I love to hear it.
                                         
                                         We love to see it.
                                         
                                         I love to do it.
                                         
    
                                         Bubble.
                                         
                                         Yes, I would like to do a frostbite and then try a bit behind.
                                         
                                         Maybe still stay in the ditch so I'm not a target.
                                         
                                         Goblin fails its saving throw and takes but one point of damage.
                                         
                                         The goblin's arm becomes stiff and slightly blackened from frostbite,
                                         
                                         but the goblin is nonetheless still in the fight.
                                         
                                         It is now their turn.
                                         
                                         Back to where in a regular round of initiative,
                                         
    
                                         your surprise round is over.
                                         
                                         There are four goblins.
                                         
                                         Highs or lows?
                                         
                                         Lows.
                                         
                                         Lows.
                                         
                                         We'll go lows.
                                         
                                         Let's swing low when they go high.
                                         
                                         The wounded goblin is going to piff a javelin at, let's say, globble.
                                         
    
                                         Am I in a ditch?
                                         
                                         You're in a ditch, so you get a bonus to your armor class.
                                         
                                         This is good.
                                         
                                         I'll get down real low.
                                         
                                         I think it will miss you.
                                         
                                         Goblin, it's plus.
                                         
                                         Plus four?
                                         
                                         God damn.
                                         
    
                                         Gobble.
                                         
                                         Oh, yep.
                                         
                                         All right, by the hairs of your...
                                         
                                         No, you don't have your armor.
                                         
                                         I have a shield, though.
                                         
                                         I have nary armor.
                                         
                                         Where did you get your shield?
                                         
                                         Fuck, I don't have a shield.
                                         
    
                                         Shit, we need that.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you left them behind.
                                         
                                         I put them right next to you and you left them behind.
                                         
                                         A javelin impacts your head where your helmet usually is.
                                         
                                         Damn.
                                         
                                         It goes right down your spine.
                                         
                                         If anything, you're stronger now.
                                         
                                         Five points of damage.
                                         
    
                                         And then the other three goblins all try to surround you, Big T.
                                         
                                         That's a miss.
                                         
                                         That's a critical hit.
                                         
                                         That's a miss.
                                         
                                         So one of the goblins...
                                         
                                         Hideous scar.
                                         
                                         You receive a permanent scar on your face,
                                         
                                         giving you advantage on intimidation checks
                                         
    
                                         and disadvantage on persuasion checks.
                                         
                                         That's cool.
                                         
                                         If how much damage you take, maybe we'll do
                                         
                                         that endurance thing we learnt about.
                                         
                                         Yeah, would you like to
                                         
                                         reduce the damage? It actually doesn't have a modifier for
                                         
                                         damage, which is very funny.
                                         
                                         You take six points of damage, unless you'd like to reduce it.
                                         
    
                                         No, let's take it down.
                                         
                                         Okay. So you are reducing it?
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'll reduce it
                                         
                                         Bum that sort of
                                         
                                         disfiguring scar
                                         
                                         I guess you wouldn't get the scar
                                         
                                         if you took no damage
                                         
                                         That wouldn't make sense otherwise
                                         
    
                                         Do you want the scar?
                                         
                                         No, did the damage get reduced to zero?
                                         
                                         Yeah, you took, did I say
                                         
                                         six points of damage?
                                         
                                         You just reduced six, so you take no damage.
                                         
                                         So I would say you wouldn't get the scar as well.
                                         
                                         It's like you slashed me with a vial of vitamin E.
                                         
                                         Pure vitamin E oil.
                                         
    
                                         Maybe rose hip infused.
                                         
                                         I got prettier.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         Oh, thank you.
                                         
                                         The scimitar bounces off your face.
                                         
                                         Oh, lucky.
                                         
                                         Somehow.
                                         
                                         The scimitar gua sha's me on the way out.
                                         
    
                                         Gua shashars?
                                         
                                         My god, so beautiful God, what a chiseled face
                                         
                                         It's that thing where you rub like a cold stone or jade
                                         
                                         Or a cold spoon on your face to sculpt it
                                         
                                         Oh, to sculpt it
                                         
                                         Yeah
                                         
                                         Okay
                                         
                                         Anyway, the other two goblins slash at you but they are
                                         
    
                                         too they're like both of them are maybe five feet away from you because they don't want to get too
                                         
                                         close so imagine i was standing like a table away from you cast and swinging a dagger or whatever
                                         
                                         they're just terrified to get close to you they should be will big t's gua shard face be enough
                                         
                                         to keep these goblins at bay?
                                         
                                         Find out next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company.
                                         
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