D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company II #14 Conversing with Statues

Episode Date: February 12, 2022

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Home of comedy, culture, adventures and ghosts. Previously on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company You can see there are some sort of mechanical junctions as part of these pipes, but whatever their purpose is, they are not currently doing it. They are cold and silent. There are two brass statues of dwarves, sure enough, on each side. I only tell truths.

And the other one says, I only tell lies. I only tell truths. Who is your best friend? Truth stops and says, I am a magical construct. I do not have friends. Then lies stops and says, James. Nick says, I'm missing my friend. Oh, who's your friend?

My friend, my dearest, dearest friend is Weeb War. What happened to James? The curse upon us prevents me from always telling the truth, but I tell it whenever possible. You'll need to acquire a dwarven control sphere. And there is a little fire, a little bedroll, and sleeping in it, you see Zia Mio. I recount what's happened.

I tell her everything. Can't you just be there for the sake of being there, right? I think the first one tells what it's meant to, and the second one just goes nuts with it. I think it does have a bit of a curse where it has to tell little bits of lies, but I think they're allowed to say what they want for the most part. How did you get further into the complex? She pulls out from her head a little brain worm

she gives it to you oh this again well it's something I can eat you are once again transported into Zia Mir's figurative footsteps kind of literal footsteps you're walking through, it's a very strange experience

for you Tree Stump because you're walking past those two a very strange experience for you tree stump because you're walking past those two statues but even though they are still speaking dwarvish it now just sounds like like you can't understand what's being said you realize you're you're walking through with zia mia's senses and then sometimes also kind of in her brain once again you have that sensation of forgetting that you are not zia mia every now and then and while that's happening as well like i said the the statues are incomprehensible you cannot understand them zia mia gestures you see your own hand gesturing over your face

and you feel like a little like a tight necklace almost, pressing into your neck, and then the world is kind of distorted in front of you, like you're looking through a plane of glass. You realize you have a big bubble on your head. Zia Mia hops into the water and begins swimming. Does it burn? Is it sort of acidic? It tingles a little bit.

You can tell that it's like i said it is acidic but it's not like active well it is actively melting you whatever it's the acidity is not high enough that that just being in for a little swim is going to hurt you zia mia swims for a little bit there's a little corridor you can see the stone work with the brass inlay and the brass piping. And then you emerge on the other side at a T-intersection, going left and right. Zia Mia heads left and gets to a large circular room. The circular room has some sort of strange contraption in the center of it that whirs and smokes gently.

There are parts and elements of it that are quite clearly still operational and in good working order then in the kind of in a a little plinth in front of the machine you see a a blue orb with mechanical gears inside of it moving at a rapid speed zia mia's hand reaches out and touches it and you can see that she, like, pulls on it a little bit, and it starts to come away from the plinth, and then the machine gives, like, a... And she lets go immediately. She doesn't want to mess with that.

Then you're back in the room. Back at the camp. So you just swim down through. Wasn't the point to break it? This is presumably before Zia Mia found the big machine. Oh, this is like an old memory. Zia Mia doesn't really understand how to break it and is maybe also afraid that if she did that,

she could start the machine. She doesn't know how any of it works. And in a rare display for an adventurer of restraint, she has decided that it would be better not to touch the machine since when she found it, it was currently not operational. All right. Well, we were told from that gnome how to roughly destroy it. Flooding it should work. And we've got that acid that we meant to pour on... Did he tell us where to pour it?

He said it would just destroy anything that was not the glass bottle that it is contained within. Or it should destroy anything that is not the glass bottle that is contained within. Throw it down. He probably also would have told you that you could try pouring it on the machine, but unless you know exactly... like, it would destroy some of the machine,

but probably not enough. Okay. But, yeah, okay. So we have to flood it, and that was to destroy some pipes that have water in them? Flooding the machine itself will hopefully destroy it. Okay. And did we do that with the acid? He just gave you the acid as like a maybe this will help.

Right, right, right. So we need to somehow flood the machine. Okay. Everyone's pretty exhausted. Have you seen anybody coming in or out since, I guess, you arrived? She shakes her head slowly. Well, she'll probably ask that to the statues there. Big T?

Okay. Yes. Shall we, I guess... You've had something to eat, but you haven't rested yet. So your exhaustion is still at level 2. You could stop and have a rest if you wanted to, to raise your level or to lower, I should say, your level

of exhaustion. But this could be a time-sensitive thing. You are uncertain. We could rest here if we wanted to, for a little bit, to try to recuperate some of our energy. Or, I would probably

suggest some of us go down and see what we can do. Chantal nods slowly and says, I would like to probably take a bit of a rest further, but if anyone else were to push on, I would not think probably take a bit of a rest further. But if anyone else were to push on, I would not think that was foolish.

Either way, I'd recommend perhaps, Santal, you stay up here. Saren nods and says, I think it would be clever if we... Yes, clearly this machine is already making the golems. Let us not give it any time that we can afford to not give it. Yeola shakes her head. She says, I disagree.

I think that if we go in there foolhardily, if we die, it's going to produce until someone else comes along, and who knows how long that will be. That's a very good point, actually. That's clever. I can go over now and ask the statues what they know and then come back and take the first watch. Yeah.

Yeah, no, you would ask them some questions about if anyone has come round, how many golems are being produced, if anyone… I don't know how good the answers are going to be, but I'll certainly come back with some. Yeah, exactly. You'll probably find something from at least the Truth Boy. I don't know about the Truth Boy. I think the Truth Boy is full of shit.

Alright, you head back to the statues? I tell only truths. I tell only lies. Who's come past here in the last few days? Lux stops and says, A woman! A strange woman that I did not recognize.

Nox, sorry, Nox or Nyx, says, An army of goblins! Looking for my friend, Weebor! Who else? Who else? Neither of them

respond to that. They've already answered that question. So that was everyone. So perhaps you asked earlier? What about in the last week? Or even just before that woman you don't recognize. Who last came in before the woman you don't know who she is? Lux stops. A man, a strange man, perhaps a farmer.

Nock or Nix stops and says, no one, she is the only person who has ever entered here, aside from the goblins. And was this farmer a human man? Lux stops and says, yes, it was a human.

And then Nock or Nix does not respond to that. Maybe ask when that was, the farmer. When did the farmer come in? Lux stops and says, nearly 100 years ago. Nock or Nyx does not respond again. How long has the machine been on? Lux stops

and says, no, they probably don't respond to that one. Why aren't you answering me? Lux says, Lux stops and says, if I don't answer something, it's because you either weren't specific enough or I

didn't understand the question. I'm sorry, I am limited. Nock or Nix stops and says, because we hate you. You didn't get my friend Weebor. I'm still trying. It's very tricky to try and get them out from

under the water with a bomb. Maybe just ask, how long has the Gollum machine been on for? How long has the Gollum machine been on for? How long has the Gollum machine been on for? And I describe where it is in the building. You describe as best as you can where the Gollum machine is in the building, since you don't really know, you don't know the full layout of the complex yet.

The brain worms have only given you kind of spotty vision, if you will. The brain worms have only given you kind of spotty vision, if you will. Lux stops and says, The Collatorium reopened several days ago. Who turned it on? Nock or Nix says, The Collatorium is a lie created by the gods. My heart breaks for him. He genuinely misses a fake man.

Who turned it on? Lux stops and says, I don't know. Nock or Nix stops and says, why are you talking to him? He's trying to deceive you. Ask how it got turned on. How did it get turned on? Lux stops and says, someone fed it the materials it needs turned on. How did it get turned on? Lux stops and says, Someone fed it the materials it needs to start.

Nock or Nyx doesn't respond. Who fed it those materials? Lux stops and says, I don't know. Did the machine get turned on after the woman came here? Lux stops and says, in between a visit. In between a visit? After the woman came here, but before she came back?

Lux stops and says, she has been here several times. In between visits, it turned back back on but you didn't see anybody else come in lux stops and says i did see someone who was it lux stops and says i don't know the farmer came in a hundred years ago yeah Yeah. And then the woman came in. Yes. And then you said that was it. And now you're saying the woman came in a few times and another person came in. It doesn't respond to that one.

Knowing that, why did you lie to me? Lux stops and says, I'm sorry if I have spoken incorrectly or untruthfully my creators made me the best way they could I'm sorry my parents phrased me wrong Nock or Nix stops and says

his creators are trickster gods trying to lead you astray they have also enchanted me. I am the one that speaks truth. Blub blub blub blub. It makes like a weird noise at the end. What was that? I tell only truth.

I tell only lies. They don't respond. Why did your voice go funny at the end just now? What was blub blub blub? Lux stops and says, he's trying to trick you. Nock or Nix stops and says, help!

Can you describe the person that came in between? Ask him to describe the person I like that you're having this whisper at the end of a really long corridor. You can come and join me. Oh, yeah. I figured I was.

I figured he walked over and was like, okay. Someone needs to... This person that came in after you trickily tricked me, after the woman, the person who came in, and presumably started the machine, what did they look like? Lux stops and says, I, I, I

Nock or Nix stops and says, they were a giant man, big enough to be a town. Ask them if they're still here. Is this person still here? Lux stops and says,

I, I, I, I. Nock or Nix stops and says, No, they've been dead for nearly 10 centuries now. Why can't you speak when they ask these questions? They don't respond to that one. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Our good friends over at Dungeon Studios is creating original content for Dungeons and Dragons 5th Ed, and has a brand new Kickstarter with six one-shot modules. Taking place in Eneron, a richly developed world with

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with please contact my creative knock or nix stops and says got him yeah so we can, I guess the person who meddled with it probably is still here, I guess. Would they, meddling with something like this, what would that require? Powerful magic. Something that kept going for this long and seems, look, as meandering and strange as these creatures are, as honestly unhelpful as they are, the amount of energy that has been clearly put into them

and the length of time that that energy has been this active implies that this is some powerful magic indeed. Right. And so to meddle with it means a lot of magic. Okay. Well, it seems that I can't

answer direct questions, but you can go around that and they will be able to say anything. The person, can you ask them something like, the person that meddled with them, they weren't human. Correct? See if we can get them to kind of answer

a negative. The person who meddled with you wasn't human, yes? Lux stops and says they were human. Nock or Nix stops and says, they were human. Nock or Nyx stops and says, there are no humans. Can you ask perhaps what we can ask about the person who meddled with him? What things can I ask you that won't result in you having to say something

you were programmed to by this person they don't respond to that one that was a confusing way of putting it i think it was very clear um what can we talk about freely you and i They don't respond to that one. Does Big T think that they're sentient? Clearly. I don't think they're sentient. You literally said that Nock or Nyx actually misses their fake friend. I think if you're programmed to miss something,

you miss them. So I guess we can ascertain that there is a very powerful, potentially human wizard down there, and they're still here. Are you guarding the wizard now? Lux stops and says, We are assisting in any way. Nock or Nix stops and says, we can't help anyone. Is the wizard behind you?

Lux stops and says, physically, no. Magically, maybe. Knock or Nix stops and says, yes, physically. Ask them how we fix the meddling. How can we fix your meddlement? Lux stops and says, I don't know. Nock or Nyx stops and says, Weebor knows. I'm going to go back to the party and tell them some of these things

to see if they might have anything else that they might want to input. Try and find out any information you can about this meddling person. But I think in this instance, Yola might be correct where we need to rest. I think it sounds like this wizard fellow is very powerful and we need to take all the rest we need. Does resting work

in that it's like we need eight hours to resume that, to get that health? Or is it a thing where we can do it? Okay. Okay. Well, I go back to the group and parlay this information

about this potential meddling wizard. As she listens, Zia Mia has a very thoughtful expression. She pulls out another brain worm and hands it to you. I gobble it up, of course. I come back to it. These people aren't nice. You really don't like being alone heartbeat What?

I've never noticed that before It's very funny, I notice it in most games I've never noticed it before The world's scary But it's better with a friend I understand, I just thought you might be asking a bit more questions about the wizard Yeah, ask If you're worried I understand. I just thought you might be asking a bit more questions about the wizard Oh, I could

Yeah, ask If you're worried, it's fine. No, no, no I get it. You want to be close to a friend Well, I think, no, genuinely I would ask How can I help you? But I just can't imagine that would result in any sort of answer Anyway, you consume the

brain worms You're walking down one of the paths in this uh here in carcassan you uh you stop as zeomere and you see something you're a little shocked to see it you have explored this place a few times and this is something new it looks like someone else has been through here there are a couple of bodies lying up against the wall they're humans you move to inspect them they're dead they've been dead for a little while maybe days it's hard to tell though you see that they are wearing uniforms of a sort as the amir you do not know what these uniforms are hereraldry is not something you are very aware of. Could be anything at this point.

You recognize, well, you can see that the heraldry is of like a shoe, which you don't really recognize. You're not sure what that could possibly mean, but it looks like from some sort of noble house. Okay. Interesting. Okay. It looks like these people like from some sort of noble house okay interesting okay it looks like these people were from some sort of order huh okay they have a kind of like a classic adventurer look to them as well hmm is it the nice shoes uh yeah it's a like a glass shoe perhaps oh yeah so so some kind of adventures have come through and i mean or someone's collected

these adventures these adventures look like they died here in in this place you as you probably are aware of several traps and stuff like that you've disabled the ones you can disable but a bunch are are beyond your skill so you just kind of learned how to avoid them. It's, it's clear these people fell into some of those traps. Ah, okay. Okay. All right. Okay.

So, so, so adventures have been here, um, perhaps to turn it on or perhaps to, to, to what we're doing. Zia Mia doesn't know.

Zia Mia just knows that in between some of her visits, these bodies showed up. She didn't think anything of it until now. Okay. Interesting. Okay, well, it looks like somebody has come down here and either as an adventuring group tried to do whatever, I guess explore, or they perhaps knew where they were going

and they lured these people in, and perhaps they're feeding the machine. Zemir nods warily. And there was two guards. I mean, there was two adventurers, yes? Sorry, I might have said two, but there were three. So there's three

adventurers. So we know at least perhaps... Is it a one-to-one? Do we know with the machine that one person will make one golem, or is it a thing where perhaps three people make one golem? Maybe the gnome would have known, but you definitely don't. So we know there is at least one to three

golems, but the other golem walk the other way, so we're down to at least between one to two more. Okay. Okay. And you didn't see anyone else, did you, Zia Mir? We're down to at least between one to two more. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. And you didn't see anyone else, did you, Zia Mia? Zia Mia shakes her head. Hmm. Did you explore all the areas? No. Well, she obviously doesn't say no, but she shakes her head very profusely. She gives you another brain worm.

You see several, like, really death-defying, terrifying-looking traps where several instances where, like, like really death defying, terrifying looking traps where several instances where it's like a corridor or whatever. And there's a constant trap going where the walls of floor like bang slam, like a really long corridor as well. Walls and floor bang slam into each other. Walls on either side bang slam into each other. And like a really rapid, both ends of the corridor bang slam into each other, and like a really rapid rate, both ends of the corridor, bang, slam into each other at a really terrifyingly rapid rate.

Zia Mia, several traps like that, Zia Mia takes one look at them and is like, nope, and just walks away. Yes, definitely not for us. Hey, hey, well, I guess we all need to, I guess, rest and recuperate. Wait. So there was three people that leave the dead bodies, but the statue only said there was only one person

that comes through. I guess it's the meddling thing. I guess you could ask the statue a bit more about that. I'll go back to Big D. Relay that kind of information. I guess you could ask the statues, any of you would be a bit about those adventures but i guess they're already being muddled with maybe the entire group comes over to the statue thing they're all like everyone's

kind of curious about them yeah yeah let's go together come on zeo mia just has like a little feel around the statues just checking them out there's not like much that she knows or can do but she's just curious now now that she knows what they're constantly saying. So these three people that came in, did they end up in the machine? They don't respond to that one. Are you

not allowed to talk about the three people? Lux stops and says, I don't know what three people you're talking about, as they were not privy to the conversation you had back at your camp. The three adventurers with the glass shoes on their chests. Lux stops. I don't remember any adventurers.

Nock or Nyx stops. There were two adventurers, not three. Interesting. Okay, okay. So perhaps he's only meddled with the truth-telling one, and the lie one can tell a little bit of a truth, but not really that much, perhaps. I kind of mutter out loud.

We've been trying to base off, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. These four adventurers that came through, these two adventurers, were they the ones who messed with the machine? Lux stops and says,

Tamper warning, tamper warning, tamper warning. Nock or Nyx stops and says, Yes, the adventurers messed with us. Well, now I'm stumped. When did these adventurers come through? Lux stops and says, No adventurers have come through here. Nock or Nx stops and says,

At the same time as her. All right. Okay. So, is there any other way out here? Is there any entrance? Xeemia shrugs. She doesn't know. Oh, I meant to ask them.

Big T. What other entrances are there? Lux stops and says, There are several entrances and exits, especially now that the Iron Golems have made more. Nock or Nyx stops and says, There are no entrances or exits. You are trapped here forever.

He makes like a noise, like a wall sliding sliding shut but no wall slides shut anywhere where is the nearest exit lux stops and says back the way you came uh knock or nix stops and says you are trapped forever i hope you don't rely like relay that one onto us, Big T, because you would have got to look like this. What does that mean in Dwarven? What does that mean? I've never heard that word in Dwarven before. Where is the furthest away exit? Lux stops and says,

At the other end of the complex. Nock Unix stops and says, at the other end of the complex. Nock Unix stops and says, intruder alert. Security has been dispatched. You will be automatized and sent to the chambers. You are boring now. Ask how many iron golems there are now, currently. How many iron golems exist now from this facility? Lux stops and says, 422, 3, 4, and then he stops.

Nock or Nyx speaks up and says, he doesn't know what he's talking about. I convey that information. 423 and then 34? Yes, 422, 34. Are there iron golems being made currently? Lux stops and says, Production just stopped. More material is required.

How many iron golems exist now? 424. Ask him how many iron golems are operational in this facility. How many iron golems are operational in this facility? Six. So there are six iron golems walking around this place.

Five. Five iron golems are currently walking around this facility. Did one just get out? They are constantly escaping. Who just stopped production? Production stopped when we ran out of material. Has anyone been informed that the production has been stopped?

Who's the we in that sentence? Lux stops and says, is now aware who is we lux stops and says i used we in a general sense we kind of meaning the facility what does nox say uh nox or nix you, you have run out when we said we. Pat, could you ask them, to the name that they cannot say, ask them what is not the name of the. What is not the name of the person running this facility? You have to tell me a name that it isn't. Lux, Lux stops

and says knock. Okay, that one sounded that was in every language. Knock Onyx stops and says the Grey Hill Free Company. Well, that doesn't seem... That's us. Free Company. Yeah.

Well, that doesn't seem... That's us. But we're just a bit of the grave. What wizards do we have back at camp? Or what wizard left the camp? There are a few wizards at camp. The Greyhill Free Company is quite large. Well, that's... Are we on the mission we didn't know about?

Perhaps. Maybe there are two missions, and one of them is bad. Perhaps they need our help. Just like looking to Shad-Tal. It's just like you can hear a penny drop right now. With the exception of Zia... Well, thank God Zia Mia can't talk, so now you can definitely hear a penny drop.

But yeah, Zia Mia is the only one who doesn't know that you're the grey hill free company zia mia yayola and sarin are all like kind of just dumbfounded at that are you so are you sure you've translated that right yeah yeah all of my not reading goes into listening i've got you know we don't have one sense, so good to the other one. I guess I rack my braid for the higher-ups in the free company.

Laura Marsh is in charge of the Greyhill Free Company, but there's a lot of elements. It's not that centralized thing. Right. If someone's been sent out on a mission, and this is the mission, maybe they did the mission, and maybe someone sent out a new mission because the old mission was a mistake. I'm sure everyone was just doing their job, but now it's a new job. working for the Greyhill Free Company, and then when they found this place, like how we are here to stop this, perhaps they were also investigating something else and they came here and perhaps opportunity,

perhaps some of the more greedier members of the Greyhill Free Company. I guess I'm trying to hide the fact that we are those people a little bit from the mirror, I guess. Yeah, no, that's clever. Perhaps the more greedy I'm envious of... Good job in being a bad friend. Yes, the Greyhill

Free Company. Oh, I'll take a 17. Prepare to make a note. Walk it off. Heal a d10 plus your level damage. ZiaMia believes you. Excellent.

So yes, so perhaps a greedier member of this Greyhill, because Ike has decided to then utilize the facility that they found, and instead of destroying it, they're perhaps doing their own thing for their own means. That seems reasonable. I want to maybe try to, I don't know, either convince myself and those around me of this. Because that seems just like, I don't know,

finding out that perhaps the company that you're working for are not great. I don't know how much that would do for morale right now. Everyone's so in shock that they're either not really listening to you or not really thinking about what you're saying. I think it makes sense. I mean, this company is for people who want to. Can you ask them if they're, they won't say if they're still here.

You've got to phrase it in a negative way. We've got to basically ask a lie. Where this Freehill, I need you to tell me where this company isn't. Right now. Right now. Tell me where they are. They don't respond to that one. Where aren't they? Where aren't they?

Where aren't they? Where aren't the Greyhill Free Company? They don't respond to that one. Where is the leader of the Greyhill Free Company? Where isn't the leader of the Greyhill Free Company? Lux stops and says, I don't know who leads the Greyhill three company where isn't the person who meddles with your settings lux stops and says they have left here knock or nix stops and says

they have left here and we know exactly where they are it's in a castle not too far from here called Count Dracula Castle. Okay. Why don't we? I think instead of focusing on exactly where these people are if they are gone, we focus on fixing their mistakes. Yes. So we need to have a rest, and then we need to go down there and figure out how we can flood it.

You want to go have a rest? Yes. I think that might be the best option for us. We'll have a rest and just all be in a bit of silence for a bit. Find out next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company. Has this ever happened to you? You look down and, oh no, my titties are out and I've spilled sauce on them from this sausage roll I'm currently eating. If only I had a t-shirt to cover up my shame

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