D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company II #22 Hag v Rules Lawyer

Episode Date: April 9, 2022

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Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Home of comedy, culture, adventures, and ghosts. Previously on Stories from the Greyhill Free Company Their heads explode As they die, as their corpses cool, they slowly turn into humans Zia Mia writes down on a piece of paper, turns it around and says werewolves Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark

So yeah, I'm not quite sure when we can head back there I think the element of surprise might be a bit gone. Out of the darkness looms two figures. They resolve into what looks to be serfs or peasants, locals. One of them, they both hold torches. Is he instantly dead or is he bleeding out? That would be instantly dead. He knocks his head around and he falls over.

Yayola swears. With a heavy head and muttering about how I miss Falmorn, we start touching the walls. Good times. Remember how you've only ever been, you two have been the only survivors and that's getting suspicious. You approach the house.

Obviously, no one comes out. Are you going to try and cast shatter in the house from 60 feet as soon as you come into range? Yes. When you get, like, incredibly close, like, right up to the building, the hag bursts out the front door. Foolish. Idiots. Big T, you're first. I would like to rage.

Uh-huh. And charge. You'll need to hop a fence and then hop onto the little porch, which will be two athletics checks, unless you want to go the long way, which means that you won't get to attack this turn. No, I would like to take the risk, please. First athletics check.

Failed. You trip over the fence. No! You fall face first into the veggie patch. She's going to be extra mad. And what would you like Sarin to do? Dissonant whispers, please. What an amazing opening move.

Like, from the hag's perspective of, like, fucking adventurers coming to kill me. Oh, no, here they come. Ugh, what a pfft. Someone screams, charges at you with a halberd, and eats shit in your potatoes. Guess I'm not making soup tonight. The hag takes eight points of damage.

Good. Good. And then it is Tavartine's turn. It's Tavartine! Tavartine lands from above. Death's turn. It's Tabbertime! Tabbertime lands from above. Death from above. He's going to use one of his key points.

And he starts tearing into her. Ah! Fucking bird! Why is it always birds with you adventurers? Ah, a bird familiar! Ah, a bird I'll turn into! Ah, bird, bird, bird. Fuck you.

I can't turn into a bird. It's the one thing that Adam keeps saying I'm not allowed. And yet you have turned into one several times. So you can be quiet. It is just time for you. Yeah, he's made a good point. It's just time for you. Tabatam's made a good point. It's just time for you. Tap of Time deals 21 points of damage.

Calm the fuck down. Good work, Tap of Time. God fucking damn it. Then it is the hag's turn. You piece of shit. You fucking little piece of shit. I'll fucking kill you oh my god she's rude she lashes out with her claws at tavertime tavertime dances deftly out of the way i mean

dances he dances when he fights he does like a cool spin as well. It's like a ballet as he kind of just moves around her. God, you stand fucking still, fuck, cunt, shit, piss. Oh, my God. It's Glovel's turn. Right. Well, I'll get my summon beast in to attack, if I can. Oh, what did you pick? Land, air, water.

Oh, I could pick, can I? I'll probably go with land, yes? Yes, land. It charges forwards, and it gets advantage because tavern time is there. It lashes out and hits. It's going to deal d8 plus four plus two so six piercing damage uh seven piercing damage oh well yeah what a little trooper i'm imagining it's a pug but only because i want to oh yeah a tiny little pug made out of dirt. It would be made out of water or air, depending.

Oh, yes, a little dirt dog. And then I will cast Melf's Acid Arrow. You fire an Acid Arrow at the hag. I think that hits. No. Oh, wow. Her AC is way higher than I thought it was. You should have missed a bunch.

Wow. All right. The Acid Arrow, she, like you would grab, way higher than I thought it was. You should have missed a bunch. Oh, wow. All right. The acid arrow. She like you would grab like you would grab a regular arrow. Like someone who could grab arrows would grab an arrow. She grabs the acid arrow and then it melts out of her hand, dealing no damage. Yeah. Okay.

Fuck you. You think you're fucking better than me? Oh, you fucking see. I'll fucking eat you. You think you're fucking better than me? Oh, you fucking see. I'll fucking eat you. I literally will eat you. I'm going to eat you. And she gestures to her open mouth. When she opens her mouth, Globble, you see rings of teeth going down her throat.

Hey. Hey, yeah. All right. And I'll, um, now, now, Zia Mia, she knows a little bit about hags, right? Or not much? No, no. We established earlier she doesn't really. Okay.

Well, she is going to maybe Tasha's Mind Whip. She needs to make an int saving throw. The hag fails the int saving throw, is going to make an int saving throw. The hag fails the int saving throw. It's going to take 3d6 damage. The hag takes 12 points of damage. That's good. Oh, you think you're funny, do you? I'm going to take this whip and I'm going

to hang you with it. I guess she thinks she's funny. I'm going to string you with it. I guess she thinks she's funny. I'm going to string you up. She's so violent. Then I'm going to use your fucking intestines to string up your friend. Then I'm going to use their fucking eye sockets as food. Ah!

She points to her mouth. Fuck! Look, look, look. We may kill, but at least we're not mean about it. It's Yayola and Chantel's turn. Both of them charge straight towards her down the garden path. Yayola casts Guiding Bolt. It misses.

The Guiding Bolt dodges, and the Guiding Bolt splashes harmlessly against the wall behind her. Chantel action surges attacking twice a miss and a critical hit yeah it's pretty good and stay down normal damage and target is knocked prone and stunned for one round fort negates stun chantelle slams her into the fucking wall and then brings her hammer down onto her head uh concepting throw she oh well it'll depend on the damage eight points of damage she will fail that saving throw okay and so she misses her next turn basically ah great news and big t it's your turn again. I would like to get up and attack with the halberd.

All right. Do you want to try and jump up onto the porch as well? Absolutely I want to do that. Of course you would. You successfully jump onto the porch. You get advantage because she's prone. Oh, you can do that critical. You get advantage because she's prone.

Oh, you can do that critical. If I get advantage because she's prone and my rules lawyer is on the ball, may I please use my extra walloping? What does that one do? If I hit, it's a critical. Is that one before you play? Yep. So I can't know if I've hit or not.

All right. You miss. So. Can't know if I've hit or not. All right. You miss. So that was your turn, Big T. What would you like Sarin to do? I would like to use Dissident Whispers.

Well, as your rules lawyer, I'm trying to work out maybe how you can help yourself out here. Because you do have that reckless attack, which gives you another advantage on melee weapons. You already had advantage. So you don't do a double advantage? No, there's no double advantage. That's like you did a roll three die. That's a disappointing. Yeah, you got enough. It's probably

a bit late to rage at this point as well. I would say that the opportunity to rage is probably common. I've already raged. She was raging. Oh, wait, were you raging? Wait, are you talking about when you were like, I'm going to rage now? No, before I attacked the first time I raged,

and then I raged, screamed, tripped over a garden bed, and ate shit in the potatoes. Okay, I'm sorry. Well, you actually should have also gotten... You know what? I didn't know that. So you actually should have also gotten advantage on those checks to jump the fence.

So I will allow a re-roll. Thank you, rules lawyer. So you still miss. But if it makes you feel any better, she does have a really high ac hi i didn't realize it's really high i i didn't know that i was like oh yeah hag probably like a spellcaster this is going to be a short fight then i was like oh our hit points are quite high actually oh shit her ac oh fuck her melee attack i guess she's a bruiser. Fuck me. It's not good for us at all.

Anyway. Serene was going to use hideous laughter just to make her shut up, but if she's already. Dissonant whispers. No, she was going to use hideous laughter to knock her prone and make her shut up, but because she's already prone, she will be using dissonant whispers again. Ah, I see.

Okay. She casts dissonant Whispers. The hag makes, unfortunately, passes the saving throw. All right. So she'll take 15, 7 points of damage. Thank God for your rules, lawyer. Just saying. Thank you.

I do what I can. Glad to have you on retainer. Yes, you're right. That's why I'm paid the little gold. That was your turn. It's taver time. Taver time. Starts laying into the prone witch.

He misses. And, oh, critical hit. Eh. Long gash, normal damage, and eight bleed. Oh, that's good. Yeah, all right. So he deals. six yeah ten points of damage oh yes the funny little fucking bird you fucking cunt you fucking asshole i'll fucking turn you

inside out so you can eat your asshole you fuck i You fuck. I've got worms in my hut. I'm gonna feed you worms and force them out your anus. You're a fucking bird cloaca shit. Oh my god. Feed the worms. It's the hag's turn. She misses her turn. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Globble. Almost distracted by such a beautiful sentiment, I get my, um my dirt dog to attack. And then... Dirt dog. Dirt dog. Dirt dog. One fine day with a dirt dog.

Baby was born and does a little damage on a dirt dog. Dirt dog. Dirt dog. Dirt dog. Eight damage from a dirt dog. Yeah. And then... I will try. And then, um, hmm.

I will try. And, um, why not? Infestation here. Actually, no. Frostbite. I'll go Frostbite. She needs to make a constitution saving throw. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She goes quiet. Out of initiative. She's dead. Should we cut her up to make sure? She's quiet. Why is she going quiet? Out of initiative. She's dead. Should we cut her up to make sure? She's scary. What? Yayola steps on her neck and presses down. Oh, yeah, good work, Yayola.

I give a thumbs up. Yeah, that's... And then the noises stop. Maybe call up my dog to pet Her bark was worse than her bite Do you think instead of going back to get that camping stuff We can just take her things? They're probably nicer Maybe You going to our hut?

Yeah Is there anything good in there? There is in the middle of the room Like a table. It looks kind of like half an operating table, half a dinner table. So there's like accoutrement, like straps and shit like that to hold someone down and do stuff to them. On the table right now, there is a little girl.

The little girl's body has been mangled and broken. There is a large area of shatter around the middle of the room where she is. Whoops. Whoopsie-daisy. Christ. We don't know that that was that. No, it's very obvious.

Yeah, that was brutal. There's no damage to this room other than the place where the shatter hit it. So she is definitely, there's no like. Oh, yeah. She wasn't even like a level one commoner. She was a child. She had one hit point. Okay. Okay.

Well, that's... I just have a... I just... I get out. I sit. Nope. Nope. Nope.

I leave also. That's not... That's fucked. Having killed that man's brother and sister, what would you like to do? Did we need to see what was in the... Did you need to get your horns back? Did we need to see...

Everyone's sitting outside. No one's particularly happy with themselves. Did we need to get their horns back? Did we need to get the... Maybe? Do we need to get the... Maybe roll over the hag? Anything she's got. That might be able to... Pat down the hag.

Might be able to help with whatever that was. Can we... Is there anything we can... We can do here? Well, without searching the room, as no one seems to want to go back in. Is there anything we can bring? I mean, I know you were saying that the hag is when she brings people back from the dead.

You find a bag of gemstones. That's whatever, don't care. In addition to that, you find a bag of gemstones. That's whatever, don't care. In addition to that, you find a bag of fingers. Okay, we don't need them. Look, don't need them. And in addition to that, you find some alchemical reagents, a vial of blood. Okay.

You find, what else would you find? What's a vial of blood? A vial of blood. Does it say anything? Does it look like it might be? Would that be good to break? All you know is that it's blood. Okay. You find another little tube thing with a rat suspended in liquid.

The rat is half desiccated. It's a long dead rat. Oh, yeah. The rat is half desiccated. It's a long dead rat. You find a bag, a pouch, like a hairy pouch of fingernails and hair. Cool.

You find a jar of liquid that when anyone's holding it, the second Zia Mia sees it, she gives you a really stern look and shakes her head and whoever's holding it just puts it down she doesn't elaborate what it is unless someone asks I don't want to know

and finally you find a well actually finally you find a little coin purse there are five red coins in it. Okay. Do they seem magical?

Do they give off a... Who's holding them? Who's turning them over? I'm doing the searching, I guess. Well, you find the bag, then. And then I would hold them out to somebody. Does anyone have anything to wrap a body in? Zia Mia grabs the coin, just kind of, like, presses her nail on it

and kind of scratches at it with her nail. Whatever the red stuff is, it comes off. There's a gold coin beneath. She hands it back to you, takes out a little notepad, writes on it, shows it to you, dried blood. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Five to you, dried blood. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Five coins coated in dried blood. I don't think we can leave them. We don't need money, actually. Does anyone have any, like, a shroud, anything? Yeah, between the seven of you, you managed to produce a shroud for the little girl. Look, I'm just going to go in and cover her up and wrap her up. Maybe not leave her in this area here.

If anyone wants to look through this before we burn it down, you're more than welcome. None of the NPCs are particularly interested in pilfering through here right now Zia Mia, actually no wait, Zia Mia does like search around the place she takes out a bunch of things and sets them outside I've tried to wrap up the little deal Chantal, Yayola and Sarin go for wrap up the little deal in the end. Some Chantel,

Yayola, and Sorin go for the unconscious man and the dead man. Okay. They bring them back. You've got everyone here. Zia Mia has like a little neat pile of things outside of the hut. You set fire to the hut. Sure do.

Absolutely. Zia Mia digs a hole and puts all of the things she's collected in the hole and covers it up. Okay. All right. You can ask her about it if you want. Is that... What was that? Why didn't you want them to be burned?

She writes on a piece of paper, shows it around. Actually, no. She pulls out a brain worm and gives you the brain worm. Actually, no, she pulls out a brain worm and gives you the brain worm. You see these items being burnt in the fire, and some of them release evil spirits. Some of them burn with noxious poisonous odor that kills things nearby and other various awful things happening if these things burn. That makes sense.

You also chuck the hag in there. She kicks the hag towards the burning hut. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Ben, Ben, which way do we go? Just hold my hand, Ben. Where? It's so dark in here.

I know, it's really dark. I think this is the door. Let me just. Ow, ow. What is that? They left the door open. Here it is. Oh, my God.

Told you. D&D is for Nerd Central. Their pod cave is bigger than our pod cave. Yeah. It's way bigger than ours. Oh, oh, oh. Shit. What?

Did they? They left the mics on They did Oh yeah Should we say hello? Yeah This is Emil by the way From Dice Paper Roll You heard from me last week

I just wanted to bring my friend Ben Also from the show Hey Yeah he wanted to say g'day too Yeah g'day We wanted Oh I did want to show on the podcast But while we're here

It's probably worth saying We've got an extra Melbourne International Comedy Festival show on the 23rd of April. We just did one with Tripod, which you can check out if you get onto our streams. And it's cracking. It's fair to say. It is a bloody good time.

It's a big aquatic adventure. And you should come along and listen to the Melbourne show and also the Tripod game because it's great. Yeah, absolutely. Hey, look, while we're here, we may as well keep playing the little. Yeah, show them a bit more of the last bit, the last campaign. So last week, Emil showed you all a clip from our most recent Curse of Strahd campaign.

It's another water-based adventure, that little bit anyway. Yeah, it's all we do. Yeah, just water. Just water. Nothing else, no. Nothing on terra firma, nothing in the sky. Yeah, just water. Just water. Nothing else, no. Nothing on terra firma. Nothing in the sky. It's all water, goddammit.

But, no, this is a river rescue in a flying giant skull. That's all you really need to know. Let's roll the clip. Here you go. Is it this button? You're the third person to save my life today. Thank you, Sasha. Third person?

Guess I'm just driving the car. Right on. Sorry, Sadie. Did you say something? No, no, no. Third person. Guess I'm just driving the car. Right on. Sorry, Sonny. Did you say something? No, no, no. It's fine. I'll roll the window up and like a chauffeur's window goes up in between all of you and Sonny. Also, a mini bar pops up in the middle.

Oh, I could matter a vodka right now. Should we maybe land this thing on like dry land before we start drinking and driving? No, we're in the back. He's in the front. He can't drink. Bloody Mary, anybody? Yes, thank you. Wait, wait.

Wait, I can't drink? Oh, shit. You can't hear us. The thing is up. The thing is up. You can't hear us. It's an open tap. We can say anything.

It's literally an upside-down giant skull. Lash. All right, so where are you flying this upside-down giant skull? Ragyog whips out the tourist map of Barovia. Have a look at this. Haven't you learned anything? I'm a Republican. I can't read.

Ben, that was good. You were really good in that. Oh, thanks. Yeah, no, you were. No, you were. Come on now. Come on now. You were.

I knew I brought you along this mini-adventure for a reason. Stop it. Yeah. If you liked that, then go to DicePaperRoll.com and check us out. We have the Stride campaign. We've got a homebrew campaign that stretches two seasons over 70 eps with original music, original artwork. That's all on the website too, by the way.

Yeah, check it out. And we've got heaps of big plans. Like we're going to do more live shows more regularly. We've also got an Into the Feywild adventure coming up. So keep your eyes on our channel for all of those updates. And you can also find us at Dice Paper Roll on all of the socials. That's Roll with an E, as in role play, because we like stupid bloody puns. I thought it was Roll with an E, as in every time we say it,

we have to say it's Roll with an E. Hey, I didn't leave that door open. Oh, shit, did you hear that? What was that? Hello? Is anyone in there? Oh, my God. They're back, they're back.

Samit, is that you? Go, go then, go. Hey, come back here. Fucking dice, paper, roll. Right, well, I guess she doesn't burn. Out of all the things, though, that you bury, she doesn't bury one thing, a lantern. The lantern has like a beautiful, elegant, probably elven design to it.

Oh, what's this? Okay. She hands that to you. Oh, thank you. Is this for keeping or? She seems to struggle with it. She writes on a piece of paper, shows it to you. Prison.

There's somebody in here? She nods. How do we get them out? She shrugs. Does If Cass Knows About This Country Stump know about this? Yes. Oh, I think there's a spirit trapped inside the lamp. Which means the lamp can be helpful to us until we figure out how to free the little spirit. Okay. Hello, little friend. Can the spirit hear me?

There's no response. Yeah. Okay. We'll get you out. Can you open the lamp? Zia Mia slowly turns a little knob at the top of the lamp, and a flame comes on inside the lamp. The flame, you realize, as it begins to move it it stands

up the flame turns into like the shape of a person there's a little person like vaguely vaguely person shaped but made out of flames they're teeny tiny maybe smaller than a smaller than half your thumb they walk to the edge of the lantern and put their hands on the side. They look up at you pleadingly. I reach out my finger and touch it to their hand. We're going to get you out of there, okay? They nod and put both of their hands over their chest. I give a squint.

What kind of person do they look like? It's hard to tell because they're small and they're made out of flames. But you see obvious elven features, ears, stuff like that. Even, like, the flames are detailed enough that you can probably even make out, like, some parts of their dress. And you can see that they are wearing what would be called leaf weave armor. Okay. Yeah, we'll attempt to free you at some point. I look over to the...

I think I'll also wrap the other person who is dead in a shroud of some kind. Sure, yeah. And then I guess we'll turn to the rest and be like, well, what do we do with the Theod? Wake him up and say that... He's free now. The hag. I think we should sleep on it,

says Yeola. We've experienced a lot of trauma recently, and I think we need some time to process that. That's fair. We should set up... Are we taking these with us and setting a camp somewhere? Everyone nods.

Set up a camp, yes. Journey into the forest a little bit? Well, there's no forest But there is a river nearby You stroll to the river Just away from this I was hoping for trees so we wouldn't have to see what we did Well you could probably

Well no you'd see the burning in the distance You reach the river though We angle ourselves We go to sleep facing the water. Okay. So what's your next move here, gentlemen, gentle ladies, and all other gentles in between? So I guess we've decided to go have a rest, yes?

It's a rest for our minds, too too because of the crimes we've done. So I guess we set up a rather sad camp with the meagre possessions we've got. I guess the – what would you call them? A non-adventuring person. A civilian. A non-adventuring person. A civilian. A non-adventuring person. Ah, yes, a civilian. Someone who is adventuring challenged, yes.

A level one. A level one commoner. See, what do you, what does the world call, because I'm like citizen, right? But I'm like, well, citizen of what? And then it's like peasant seems just too mean. Commoner also seems kind of mean. What are you asking?

What do you refer to? Maybe a homebody, because if you don't adventure. The general populace? The general populace. Is there just general populace, or is there like, ah, yes. People, I suppose. I mean, is it people? Well, I suppose, like, the closest I've got.

I'm not sure what you mean. Well, we don't refer to everyone who isn't an actor as a civilian. Well, we don't refer to everyone who isn't an actor as a civilian. Is it closest to army? Yeah. Because army has civilian. I don't know if, I suppose you could call them non-combatants or civilians. Peasants, serfs, depends where you are in the world, I suppose.

Is there an affected occupational status? Maybe if you're a nurse, you could call everyone who isn't a nurse a patient. Do we have rules of engagement with this company outfit? I don't know. Well, hang on a minute. Nurses can still be patients. That's true. Yeah. And rules of engagement, there would not be a standard set

that's kind of a very i'm not necessarily a modern take but they're yeah they're well i suppose there are some rules but those rules would probably be because of local lords and whatnot like it's not like the uh the the i was about to call you the gray dove free company which wow things have changed holy shit going getting up in the world yeah yeah no the gray hill free company doesn't have like uh like a only fire if fired upon you can't attack religious buildings or something like something something like that they just be like local lords or barons or whatever whoever could control the area that whoever can control an area gets to make the rules kind of okay just don't be a piece of shit you know so the rules will kind of vary from place to place. So in some places in Kandor,

you may not be allowed to carry a weapon freely into a church. In some places, you may not be able to carry it freely in a city. In other places, you can cut a man down if he stares at you wrong because the local lord doesn't have enough control in the area. Actively encourages it. And what tends to cause adventuring is when the local lord can't control the area. Actively encourages it. And what tends to cause adventuring is when the local lord can't control the area very well, so there aren't

a lot of rules. So we're filling a gap in the market. Yeah. If you want to call it a market, yes. We're getting paid. Hmm. Yes, I guess we are.

So I guess my question, the non-combatant, the level one commoner that Chantal, I guess, beat up, shall we say. Cut down. No, the one she beat up. Oh, beat up. Yes. I guess the surviving one. What would we do with them? Would we just, like, I guess we would clearly disarm them.

They are unconscious. Would we tie them up? Like, they were fairly aggressive towards us. I would assume we would tie them up, yeah. Yeah, well, I think if you don't, other members of the party restrain them. Oh, yeah. Well, they don't know what they're doing, so. Well, yeah, like, again, it's just when they wake up, things are good.

Well, yeah, so I guess we're getting prepared for the campsite, I guess, in a very somber mood. I would either help place, I guess, the two bodies that we've wrapped up somewhere. And, yeah, help, I i guess restrain and disarm because we just don't know how he's going to act maybe a conversation happens where like this person is not a threat to you you really don't need to restrain them well even if so long as you set a watch there's not a lot they can do oh that's a good point look if if we took took him once, we've already given them the mental prison of knowing what we're capable of.

Yeah, cause that's the kind of thing, it's not really like, you know, he's not a criminal, he's not anything like that, like he just acted out of some kind of fear, I guess, and as long as we've disarmed him, and yeah, I guess we keep a watch, I'll just make sure his wounds are all patched up, and whatever, and just make sure they're, I guess we keep a watch. I'll just make sure his wounds are all, like, patched up and, like, whatever. And just make sure they're, I guess, rested, like, comfortable as much as they can be. And I guess, yeah, we'll just have a rest. A very sad, angry rest. You set a watch, or one of you remains conscious at any point in the night.

And as each of you take turns in the watch so long as you're not like the first couple of watches you notice that he has kind of recovered at least uh recovered from his wounds and he's not standing up or anything like that he's just or doing anything he's just sitting there cradling his knees and staring at the two shrouded figures okay um i guess at some point like do we know whatever order we're in in the watch i think i said whatever that is i don't know i think i'd like to just almost i don't know i think i think it was gonna be just pissed off just very i think glopple is just angry and sad and just very like almost staring at this guy with with just like contempt kind of thing just to kind of as we're watching as you know standing over guard i guess just

yeah almost just not saying much just kind of staring at him just very angry clearly angry at like himself and the rest of the party but i guess guess can't take it out on that just right now. Well, even if you're staring daggers at him or whatever, he doesn't really respond. Unless you're interacting with him very directly, he disregards the entire party for the rest of the night. Okay. The next morning, you begin breaking camp.

Yeah, I think... They've said nothing, yeah? No, hasn't said anything. How well did we sleep? I'm guessing not very. I probably didn't sleep a lot. For the purposes of recovering abilities and whatnot,

you can assume that you have had a long rest, but perhaps it was not a very restful rest. There is no stress mechanic yet in 5th edition. But mark our words. I'm on 6th ed. Maybe someone else should introduce a stressed condition. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe someone needs to get some darkest dungeon into this motherfucker. Yeah, why not? Get some kind of like, yeah, this is not great on our psyche. Well, if everyone started like packing down things and the guy hasn't moved, I just want to like, I don't know. I think snap. Just have a bit of, have a shit one. Just have just absolute, just like, almost throw a tanty as it were.

Just be like, why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you say anything? We were here to help. We were meant to help you. We are adventurers. We do good. You simply jumped to a conclusion. Now, two people, two people are dead, and I don't know their names.

You didn't think this through. You just acted without a second guess. You didn't stop. You didn't see the signs. You didn't question anything. You just did it. And you act out of what? Fear?

Paranoia? You strike first before my friends can what? Stab me in the back? Is that what you did? Does that make you a friend? It makes you some kind of monster? Like, why attack us? You had six sets of duty that you thought you were doing good?

Because the pay was nice? So you, what, who cares about the consequences? As long as I get what I want. As long as I come out as unscathed. It doesn't matter. Now they're dead. Two nameless adventurers. Tell me,

what are the names? What were you trying to do? With the River Witch? What deal did you strike? The man, still cradling his his knees without looking at you says david his name is david and her name her name is saresh and what deal did you strike what did you what were you hoping to do hmm saresh is our little was our little sister like let that like pregnant pause just kind of just hang and you were dealing with the we were in a field our father's field um a cow saw a snake

cow saw a snake. Reared up, and it kicked her in the head. The doctor said there was nothing that could be done. We'd heard tales of the wild woman who lived out in the badlands here and how she could for a price fix maladies of the mind right right when we arrived the wild woman said that there were people in the darkness and that if we could stop you, she would help her.

And Dan, you didn't think perhaps when you see us, who we were, when we tried to speak to you, perhaps ask us for assistance? Do you know what we found in her hut? Do you know what she did to my good friend? Do you know what we found in her hut? Do you know what she did to my good friend? Do you know what she does?

I know exactly what she does. Right. Could you have helped her? He turns around to face you, finally. Maybe. But I'm going to help her now. I'll do my best. What's the rest of the party doing?

The deathly silence has kind of like moved itself across the rest of the party as well. Everyone has paused in their activities and was just looking at you at this conversation. I'm going to try. At this conversation. I'm going to try. I look down at my, like, gross, dry, pink hands.

I breathe in where it's, you know, again, doesn't have that beautiful, like, scent of wet air going through my gross fish-like nostrils. Run my tongue over my teeth. I'm going to try and make this right. It's not going to be perfect. It may not even work. But it's not dealing with the devil. But I'm going to try.

I'm going to stand up to full height. Because I imagine we were crouching down face-to-face. I'm going to try. Can I stand up to full height? Because I imagine we were crouching down face to face. So I'm faster by myself, but what I need to do, I cannot do alone. So I need somebody to come with me. I look at the... They kind of like awkwardly look in between each other. Tavitine standing up says,

well, no, he says nothing. Tavitine standing up says, well, no, he says nothing. Tavitine just steps forward. So, um, Grey Dove was, um, nice enough to help me when I was not myself. And they have very powerful magics. So I'm going to go and see him.

I need someone to help me. Because by myself I'm a lot faster, but I can't pick them up as a horse. Tabertine nods. Okay. So the rest of you, go get out of here.

See what you can do for that poor elf trapped in that lantern and meet us at the druid circle in how many days would it be by horse Adam, like going full well you wouldn't be able to spend the entire trip as a horse but spending as much of the

trip as horse as possible would take you 8 hours a day basically it would take you... That's too close. Eight hours a day, basically. It would take you approximately maybe three days. Three days? Yeah, because you'd be able to cut through a lot of space as well. You wouldn't need to go via... Well, provided you didn't get lost,

you wouldn't need to go back the way you came. Okay, true. We've got Tavitide, and he can circle up ahead to navigate. Yeah, and that definitely will prevent, makes getting lost impossible. Exactly. Bird's eye view, it's perfect. Yeah, that's perfect. There's nothing ever wrong with a bird's eye view.

It makes them omnipotent. I know. Yeah. And how long would it take us to get to the Druidic Circle if we're meeting there? It would take you a lot longer. You might also want to go via the grey hill free company camp just because it it's like the route that you know and i don't

think any of you are very good outdoors people survival time is of the, and as good as a tracker as I am, sometimes... Times of the essence, but also getting lost is a big time loss. Sometimes I'm not perfect at it, and that's okay. Actually, forgetting that... I forget, though, that, Tristan, you are pretty confident in your outdoors abilities. So maybe you think it's fine. I think I'm so good at it. It could take you a week if you went the path that you already knew, or it could take you, let's say, five days.

So you could shave two days off by going basically as the crow flies, as it were. And I'd, again, they would be going through the Greyhill camp, yeah? They'd be going via. They don't need to stop in, though. Okay, because I'd be like, if you can, avoid staying at the Greyhill camp, yeah? They'd be going via. They don't need to stop in, though. Okay, because I'd be like, if you can, avoid going, staying at the Greyhill camp until we know further what's going on there. It's important that we know more before acting rashly.

Yes, you do. Think things through this time. Doesn't feel good to talk about it. What about, I think I might know a way where we don't have to go through the Greyhill Free Company and it'll be much faster. And I think we can take that path and meet you there. So you have two whole days to try and do what you can and we'll meet you there. And we can see if we can figure out some things about this elf in the lantern.

Sure. Yes, well, I'll try and get a message somehow if things are working well. Either way, meet me in the Druid Circle. In five days. A week to ten days is what I give. Meet me there there I'll see you soon good luck

good luck good luck to you yes well I think I'm going to need it on next time on stories of the Greyhill Free Company This is a message for all the seasoned and aspiring DMs out there. Do you wish to treat your players like the common dogs they are

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