D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company III #1 Looking for Goo

Episode Date: April 16, 2022

I never knew snails could move so fast. You can see Dice Paper Role perform live with special guests at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.Visit dicepaperrole.com to buy tickets and listen to their podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Home of comedy, culture, adventures, and ghosts. Previously on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company Oh, you fucking see.

I'll fucking eat you. I literally will eat you. I'm going to eat you. And she gestures to her open mouth. What? Yayola steps on her neck and presses down. Ew. The little girl's body has been mangled and broken.

and presses down. Oh. The little girl's body has been mangled and broken. There is a large, like, area of shatter around the middle of the room where she is. Now, two people, two people are dead, and I don't know their names. You know, you didn't think this through. You just acted without a second guess.

You didn't stop. You didn't see the signs. You didn't question anything. You just did it. The lantern has like a beautiful, elegant, probably elven design to it. Oh, what's this? She hands that to you.

Grey Dove was nice enough to help me when I was not myself. They are very powerful magics. So I'm going to go see him. And I think we can take that path and meet you there so you have two whole days to try and do what you can and we'll meet you there. I transform into a horse.

Get me up. Zemia freaks out. I haven't seen this. It's cool. No, Zemia has. Z, Xeomir has. Xeomir's just scared of horses. It happens. And then, yeah, we'll

get... load up the bodies of Suresh and David and we'll head out. You head northeastwards. Big T, you watch the figures of Horseglobble and Tavertine

slowly become smaller and smaller and smaller until they are but pinpricks upon the horizon. And then you head back to camp, the camp that you lost when the Iron Golem attacked. We do. Anything left? Because if I saw something like this i would have taken the door no no one seems to have come by here in your absence oh it's fair enough a lot

of golems the camp seems to be a little bit disturbed like something walk something big and heavy and made of iron and golem like walked through here at one point and quite clearly didn't care about what they stepped on so there are some crushed or trampled pieces of equipment oh yeah but most of it is intact and you can reacquire it so xeomir taps you on the shoulder and then writes down on their little pad of paper, shows it to you. Where do you want to go? I have a big think to myself as to what is the fastest way, because we are going to take

the shortcut, Adam. We're not going to leave this family waiting for longer. Globble said week to 10 days, but I know he's getting there in three. He doesn't have to wait that long I know a shortcut Okay Probably get some information off the survivor Of like where they live

As well Probably should Hopefully someone I know tree stump you might not have thought about it But hopefully someone else might have While you're thinking about it, Zia Mia also gestures. You have the lantern, right? I do.

Look. Zia Mia gestures to the lantern and then pulls out a brain worm to give to you. Yum, yum, yum. I eat it on up. You see yourself wandering kind of where the Badlands becomes grassland. You're not sure exactly where you are, but you can see a shape on the horizon you start walking towards it as you approach you realize that the terrain looks slightly different the train is slightly taller than it might be normally and you you forget oh fuck that's right

i'm not zia mia oh shit and as you as you approach this shape in the distance, you realize it is a giant snail, except where the shell would normally... Well, there is a shell, but the shell is in the shape and dimensions of a wizard's tower, like a three story high tower. Huh. Then you return. You're standing in

front of Zia Mia again. She points at the lantern again. Is that where the lantern is made? She shakes her head. This is where the elf is from. She shakes her head. Is it where we need to go? She shrugs.

Instead of writing something down, she draws a picture of a wizard with little lightning bolts coming out of his hands. And then she points at the lantern again. Oh, okay. This is going to help. That's right. You can't read! bolts coming out of his hands and then she points at the lantern again oh okay this is gonna go this is gonna help that's right you can't read i did the pictogram for no particular reason but yeah she needs to do a pictogram for you yeah when you say help she nods emphatically oh perfect well i'm just glad snails aren't very fast Was that snail fast? It was moving pretty far Like, you know how a big thing would probably move faster because it's got longer legs?

Yeah It seems the same might be true for snails That's why little things scuttle Hmm Oh, well Did the snail leave some sort of ooze? Like a trail of foam? Oh yeah, there's slime in its wake.

A lot of it. Oh, brilliant. Well, we just need to look for goo. She points in kind of a northeasterly direction. Oh, you know where the goo is? She nods. Oh. I think that's on the way.

That's on the way, yeah? It's kind of on the way, yeah. What, two birds, one stone? Oh, no, Tabitha's not here. It's not rude uh she then gestures to the the she then gestures to the commoner though do you know about the snail the what he says oh uh she shakes her head she gestures to herself she points to him and then she points southwards where all the farms are.

Did you want to come with us to see your siblings, or did you want to go home? He gazes towards where in the distance where, presumably, just slightly over the horizon, Tavertine and Globble are. Is

it going to work, he says? Well, I don't know. My friend, the global who you met, used to be a fish and then he used to be a spider. So it's worked a bit. But I can't say for if someone has died. But they'll give it a go. I promise they'll try their best. Then I'll come with, he says.

Okay. And you live back near the farms? Yes. Well, we'll make sure that we do take you back, of course, to give you safe passage and everything. Have you seen the lantern? I showed the lantern. He has seen the lantern.

He doesn't seem very interested in it. Well, we're going to see if we can help a lot of people today. But we'll still go very, very fast. We just won't be as fast as them because they're on the horse and they're in a big rush. But we'll meet them there after they've had a few days to try everything. So hopefully we show up to good news. And a new elf friend, yes?

I look at the elf. Is the elf my friend yet she can't talk so you so you don't know i don't get a nod um all right what do you say oh i just i'm talking and then smile at the elf the little flame figure puts its hands up against the glass and looks at you but doesn't nod or shake their head. I wonder if there's any foods you haven't eaten that have been invented since you've been stuck in there. I'll make sure you eat them. Do they nod?

They don't seem to respond. Oh, it's okay. You can't hear me. It'll be a surprise. That's exciting. Do you have any foods you haven't eaten that you'd like to eat? Who are you addressing that to? The commoner.

David. No, that's his brother's name. He never gave his name. And no one asked. What was your name? My name? Yeah. David 2. No, David, too.

No. David. Adam, he says. My name is Adam. Self-insert. All right. Adam. This feels illegal.

This feels very illegal. And can you describe what Adam looks like? would you would you personally say he's handsome um uh look i i don't know i'm not does he have your sad eyes certainly not my type no he's got uh no he has jet black hair it's a bit like messy he does have probably like a there would be like like some basic sort of, there would be some like basic sort of spectacles that exist in this world. There'd be like a gnomish sort of invention, but they're kind of like rounded, very thin frames. He's got like a massive beard, similarly colored, kind of like a gnomish face almost, but like a lawn gnome not like a like a gnome the race okay okay looks a little like jackson actually okay okay i see what's going on here it's really nice to meet you adam thank you like this. Actually, maybe he doesn't say thank you as well.

He's still breathing. I don't know. You can say thank you and just be on autopilot. Yeah, you know what? Maybe he does say thank you on autopilot. Oh, come on. You didn't mean that. I'm not... You'd be handsomer if you smiled.

I don't have a brother, I'm fine. I say none of that, obviously. He just interprets it in your body language. No! Okay, well, we hit the old frog and toad. You're traveling for several hours. It's beginning to get dark. And right as the sun is almost about to set,

you can see the suns, sorry, right as the suns are about to set, you can see on the horizon a looming shape that looks very familiar to you. It's not Chantel again, is it? No, not that sort of a shape. Way bigger than Chantel. Oh, no, it's what I thought Chantel was before I knew it was Chantel. If I were to round up, I would say that it has two stories on her. Oh, no, we have to hide.

Are they taller than the trees oh no not that sort of a similar figure no the the the silhouette of the snail the snail tower oh yes i see where the confusion is now no it is not an iron golem it It definitely, it's as big as they are. This is so much larger than any of them. Oh, thank God, because two stories is... Oh, is that the slickly flowing silhouette of a big house on the slime? I believe it is, says Yael. Oh, you follow. Are the snails nice? Are they okay with you?

I mean, I've never seen a snail with a person house before. Does he go in? Who are you addressing that to? No one. The group seems keen to... Oh, we're moving. We're moving toward the snail. The group seems keen to end their journey before the day is out.

As you move, though, Zia Mia pulls at your clothes. What's up? She waves. She reaches out for like a hug. Aww, give her a hug. She hugs everyone in the party, obviously except

Adam, who she does not hug because there's too much awkwardness there. But she hugs all of you and then gives you like a big wave goodbye. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Oh, Ben, how did we get ourselves arrested? What were we thinking? I don't know. I don't know.

You're the one who said come with me to bloody D&D's for Nerds Pod Cave. Oh, it was just so nice. So what are we going to say? What are we going to say? I don't know. I've never talked to cops before. I know that. I've never been arrested.

Oh, I know. It's coming. It's coming. You're bad, prisoner. I'm good prisoner. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Well, well, well. Dice, paper, roll, is it? Yes. Yeah, you heard us, butththead that is actually my name detective butthead you two have a lot to answer for breaking and entering property damage grievously assaulting a feline what have you got to say for yourself oh we're really really sorry uh i just i left my lucky d20 in there you see we, we're a D&D podcast. D&D?

Yeah, Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah. What the hell is Dungeons and Dragons? Is that some sort of weird, sexy cult? I mean, not yet, but no, we just play like role-playing. It's like a fantasy game. It's better if we show you, all right? Look, I've got a cassette that I carry with me at all times. Can I just put it in your little interview thing there?

I'm just going to stop. Evidence, is it? Evidence. Just have a listen. Go on, then. This is from our latest Curse of Strahd campaign. I think you'll like it. We have already started drinking.

The festival sounds about right. And Sonny flicks the hoverboard switch again, and the thing just kind of really unsatisfyingly just kind of and like slowly just deflates for a really long time oh that's a manual you gotta pop that back in manually

we're gonna tuck it in everyone spends 10 minutes hanging over the side tucking the fucking inflatable bits back in. I've just got this side. But once I put this side in, it falls out on the other side. So after you're holding on to it, you've got to hold on to it while I'm doing it. On the count of three.

One, two, three. Are you doing it at the same time as me? I'm trying. You're not doing it at the same time. Otherwise, it's never going to go in. I'm doing it at the same time. Got to work as a team. Oh, my God.

I can't do this. I think you have to put zip. Oh, God damn it. Who broke a clip? I can see it. It's over here. Someone broke it. Alright, we're ready to zip it up. I'm ready to zip it up. Where'd this peg come from? It's a great team building exercise. On three. Ready? One,

two. Three. No, on three. I said on three. Not my fourth. God damn it. I didn't mean you actually had to role play out mate you give us these like what what what do you want from us you put it out there we're gonna take it we're gonna take it all right what if we had a montage of the 10 minutes yeah perfect yeah that goes for nine minutes I mean, it's in 50 seconds. So you tuck it all into the skull and take off,

and you're heading to... Festival, baby. Road trip to the festival. Burning sun. The Burgermeister is awaiting our arrival. Yes, back to Malachi, please. Someone's going to need to give me directions. Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.

Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually part of a way bigger adventure. It's like 40 or 50 episodes of that. Yeah, we really have a good time. Yeah. You got anything else?

Well, yeah. If you go to DicePaperRoll.com, that's roll with an E as in evidence, then you can see, you know, what we've got, 50 episodes of Stride. We've got a- We've got homebrew campaigns that we've made ourselves. We've got like 70 episodes of that. We've got original artwork and music and you can see all that on the website as well.

And we did live shows. We've even done one with like Tripod and a few other people. It's cool. Yeah, yeah. Look, we've even got an extra comedy show coming up on the 23rd of April. One more because we sold out five of our six shows. You haven't heard of us, Detective Butthead?

Yeah, you got it. You got another show coming up. Well, that's going to be a real shame for you boys and your soft, soft hands. You're going to miss that show because you're going to be in the slammer. No! Oh, where are you going? Oh, do you live in the snail? She shakes her head.

Okay. Okay. It's been really nice to get to know you. She nods. She puts, like, her hand over her heart and then goes in for another hug, if you'll let her. Oh, absolutely. She hugs everyone a second time. You're a very good friend, Zia Bia.

She nods. I hope you have a very beautiful life. She puts her hands over her heart and then gestures to you. Oh, I'm taking it and putting it in my heart. All right. With one final wave, she turns around and walks back you uh you approach the snail yes let's does it i want to vibe out the snail so as we're walking toward it does it look like the snail is fleeing or do we look are we too small for the snail to care the snail doesn't

appear to be giving you any notice it's moving in a vaguely southerly direction. Okay, beautiful. We'll just, yeah, we'll run up to it then if it doesn't seem phased by us at all. When you get closer, you can hear the... ...of the snail moving along. It's a very... It echoes across the Badlands as well. It's loud.

It's a loud snail. That's the Badlands as well. It's loud. It's a loud snail. That's some great ASMR to fall asleep to. Do people have that? As opposed to like, you know, I can't only fall asleep when I'm near a train tracks or like an oscillating fan. It's like, no, no, no. The sound of a giant snail going through sand. Oh, yeah. Snail in sand sounds really awful all right so wait i want to try and get into the house

is there a way as you approach the side of the snail that you are approaching from you can see there is like a uh made out of the entire the entire tower is made out of snail shell. And you can see that in the snail shell, there is a set of double doors that are low enough down over the side of the snail that someone standing at ground level could access them. And on the set of double doors, there is a big old brass knocker. I don't know what to do here i knock knock knock on that door knock knock knocking on the snail's door when when you do so you hear like the entire shell of the snail kind of like echo with the reverberation of the dock dock dock and as soon as you start knocking as well, the sail comes to a complete halt.

Very suddenly. Well, not really very suddenly. Like, it's moving, but it's not moving, like, super fast. It probably moves at, like, a human's jogging speed, if that makes sense. I imagine we still get a bit inertia-ed around. Yeah, you get rocked a little bit. The door opens, and standing in the doorway you see a man dressed in very classic big old purple robes with like silvery or golden stars and moons printed

on them with like the big classic wizard's floppy hat you look into the face of Sir Isaac, just Isaac Newton. Hello. Hello there! Big T, was it? How did you know my name? I am a powerful wizard! It is for me to know such things!

Or was that a joke? Oh no, we have met him before in this campaign haven't we yes sorry it was a while ago i thought it was a different campaign please please come in come in hello isaac come on in is a friend everyone trudges in i think everyone in this oh no oh tabatine's not here yeah i think oh no sarin does not know this person who is your new friend there this is sarin sarin this is isaac newton a pleasure to meet you he takes off his hat and bows low you see he has a bald head he puts the hat back on is his head shiny

well sorry not bald head he's got like he's riffraffing it so with the hat on it looks like he has long gray hair but when he takes the hat off you can see he's quite clearly riffraffing it for those of you who don't know that's a reference to a show a movie called rocky horror picture he he's just got like he's balding I guess is the term that you would use. Friar tucking, is that also an expression? Friar tucking is like a messy Friar tucking. Friar tucking gives you front hair, I think. I thought Friar tucking was like, yeah, middle was all like gone,

but you have like a hedge around. Yeah. Like your ears. I thought Friar tucking was where they just do the like little bald, where your crown is. No. I thought it was aing was where they just do the little bold, where your crown is. No. The crown of the head. I thought it was a bigger crown.

Yeah. But it's still. I'm going to Google it. This is important. To me, I would say a riffraff is like an unkept fryer tuck. See, every time I think of a fryer tuck, it's like the middle bold bit is completely bold. It's smooth. But a riffraff is almost finished going bald, but not quite. So eventually a riffraff will become a friar tuck, but it's not there yet.

Oh, okay. I think the important part is, so if you Google riffraff from Rocky Horror, you get just the one haircut consistently. Yes. riffraff from rocky horror you get just the one haircut consistently yes but if you google fryer tuck hair you do get there is in the top row there is like a guy who has the haircut you're you're describing zamit but a lot of them have the like front part of the hair okay okay either way he's looking a bit he He's not going great. For clarity's sake, I'm calling it the riffraff from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Okay.

Anyway, he takes his hat off, he bows low, and then he gestures for you to come inside. Oh, thank you. I shuffle on in. The entire house, in addition to any furniture, is made out of snail shell. Oh, hang on. house, in addition to any furniture, is made out of snail shell. Aw. Hang on.

So he destroyed this snail shell, used the shell for furniture, and built a house in its place? This looks like the snail's shell. It looks like the material is snail's shell. Oh, so this is the one piece? Yeah, yeah, it's all one piece. Ah. Oh, sorry, yeah.

Yeah, no, no, no. So, like, the chairs would be positioned in such a way like chairs that you might find at like a low-class diner or or some such where they're kind of like part of the floor and they don't move yeah in fact this table might be more of a booth to be honest it's a lovely place you got here thank you did it grow like this no I sculpted this from the creature's shell non harmful

I assure you he says that's so impressive and how's the snail doing well I believe I haven't spoken to it in some time the spell to speak to the snail is ancient and complex. Well, that's fair enough then. Sounds hard. Yes. The snail knows to contact me if it needs anything.

I think it wants for very little at the moment. Well, that's good to know. We just came back from the elemental plane of cabbage. Oh, what a treat. Or as I like to call it, the supermarket, he chuckles to himself. That does sound super. Anyway, what may I, to may I... Why are you here? I was wondering if you could help my friend.

I pull out the lantern. They're stuck. They're stuck on a little foam. Is this the fish man, Gloppel? Or is this the... Is this the Tabaxi? This is a new friend. Oh. The tabaxi retired and gobbles on a different adventure very important he's trying to save his sister and brother i gesture to adam

do you know their name he says gesturing to the lantern oh no i can't talk to them and we found them like this so i'm not I'm not sure how to get that information out. That makes things tricky. Excuse me, can you fog up the little glass and write your name? I put my face against the lantern. You see them lean in really close to the glass, and you see that they try to do that, but nothing happens. It doesn't look like they're blowing air.

Oh no, it's magic glass. Mmm, yes. Well, I could try several things. It might take some time. I will need to consult books. Okay, will it be faster with the name? Maybe we could find the name out.

If you can deduce their name I could certainly use that. Well, if they're made of flame, what about if we hold a piece of paper just above their head and they run in the shape of all the letters? The lantern is like a sealed glass container. And I'm guessing I have enough sense to know that breaking it open would be bad. I don't know if you do. Why can't we just open it? I've broken lots of lanterns before.

I do not know the magics upon this lantern, but I would suppose that breaking a magical object might be bad. It could do any number of things, including killing your poor friend and also entrapping you there as well. That's the opposite of what I wanted, plus a worse thing. Yes! I mean, sorry, no, they're

both very bad. Neither are ideal indeed. What do you need? I need to consult my books, as I said previously. Is there nothing I can do to help? Um, I I said previously. Is there nothing I can do to help? Um, I

don't know. I suppose just be patient and wait. There will absolutely be some costs involved, too. That's alright. Would you need help with your dishes or something while you do that? Yes, alright then.

Okay. Also, with the money, I might need some up front. I've got cash flow issues at the moment. Oh, that's alright. I've got money. How much money do you want? Perchance could you forward me

200 gold? Oh, yeah, of course. Here you go. Thank you. Very helpful indeed uh i will put it to good use immediately he says he stands up and like whips his cloak around him i must uh i must travel to the library you have free range of the kitchen for now i must must, for other rooms, I must make them adventurer friendly. Until such a point, please remain here. Okay, did you want anything? I'll try and cook.

No, I'm fine, thank you. I just ate. Are you hungry? Oh, I could go a snack. I have some sandwiches in the chili box. Oh, that's a treat. I look over to Adam. Do you, I know you don't know, but do you maybe have a suspicion about how long this might take?

You're asking Adam how long it'll take? No, as in I'm glancing at Adam, as in, oh, I'm very conscious that this person is waiting for their siblings. But I'm also asking you, Adam. I really couldn't say. I really must investigate further. But it could take anywhere as short as an hour to anywhere as long as several days. Okay. days. Okay.

What if you could ask the snail or direct the snail to help us get to where we need to go? I can pay you more gold or I can... I don't know what the snail wants. No, no, no. That would be fine.

I can do that free of charge. I will contact the snail. Where are we heading? We are heading to the druidic circle um i describe where that is because i'm sure that just means nothing to this person he like taps his finger taps a finger to his chin you i guess are gonna need to give him very specific directions as well it's okay i'm really good at them yeah just ask really great at them oh i've done really well again haven't i yeah oh you've done so well anyway so this is the shortcut i know so makes it a lot easier to get there huh i didn't know there was a forest in that direction

all right then we will away oh i suppose i suppose oh of course your sandwiches he goes over to basically a well not really a refrigerator but it's kind of like shaped like a imagine those old you know those old kind of vaguely curved refrigerators yeah like the really thick chunky looking ones yeah he there's one there made out of snail shell when he opens it it's not actually like a refrigerator it's just an ice box basically like a glorified ice box and from inside he produces some cold water for you and also a small plate of sandwiches oh thank you they're neatly cut into triangles with their crust cut off they They're a mixture of cucumber sandwiches, tuna sandwiches,

and probably also like just cheese sandwiches. This is delightful. Thank you very much. We'll get started on those dishes. Please take your time, he says. With another like billow of his massive cloak and robe, he turns around and walks off. I stand in the kitchen in silence there from for half a moment,

take a bite of sandwich and say, so we're not meant to go into the other rooms? Why do you think so? Did he not just say they weren't adventurer proof? Whatever that means. That's the thing. I don't know what that means. I want to see what I'm not allowed to be in,

but I won't go in. I just want to see what I, what's, what's wrong. What am I clumsy? Saren, Saren shrugs. Maybe it would be because of a curiosity or something.

Oh no, I got that right now. Yes. Maybe we'll be, we would be too curious. A touch of things we are not meant to. Okay, I won't go in. I'll be nice. I'm going to do some dishes.

No one else has to help. I just want to keep my hands busy. Is Adam eating a sandwich? Adam sits down and maybe eats. Yeah, he has a sandwich. Good. Just wanted to check, make sure it's doing all right. You go do the dishes?

Yeah. Are they all made of shell? No, the dishes are... No, they would be made out of probably like maybe clay or something simple. Okay. They're not very pretty dishes. They're just functional. That's allowed.

Now, as I have realized that curiosity is something that I am oozing as an adventurer, but I'm not allowed to access outside of where I am right now, what if I look around the kitchen a bit and see what's good? I'm allowed to have food here, so I'm allowed to look. You could search. There's many cupboards here. Yeah, you could absolutely search some. Does anyone want to look in the cupboards with me?

I've already opened the cupboards. Saren stands up. Saren maybe, actually, no. Saren turns to you from the pantry the open pantry and says yes would you like to come in it's a walk-in pantry oh my goodness um yes okay what about we look around and we try and find the best food in the in the whole pantry first section of the pantry is the pantry is divided into four sections the the sections are labeled but you obviously can't read the first section has just meant like many many many many many many

many jars small jars filled with different presumably spices and herbs i pick up the reddest looking one and give it a sniff. It smells like paprika. Oh, it smells like a fire. What has Saren found? Saren is in one of the other sections. Saren comes out, Saren turns around and shows you, like this section just has many, many, many, many, many, many cans, which is something you would not have seen before. All of the different cans have a label on them

and a picture of what is inside, which you find very helpful. You don't know why more people don't do that. Oh, this is good. I don't know what's in there now, but I don't know how it fits. You could find almost any canned cannibal good in this section of the pantry. Do I find canned beef? Yeah.

I stare at it for a bit. Do you know? Surely not. Surely not at it for a bit. Do you know? Surely not. Surely not. Saren shrugs. How do we get in? She, like, gives the can an experimental kind of gnaw with her teeth. Strange.

Maybe you crack it open like an egg? She tries that. It doesn't work. I look around the room to see if there's anything I could cut. I'm thinking going through the middle. Is there anything that I look around? One of the other sections is, oh, no, not in the pantry. No.

You look around in the pantry and you find nothing that could possibly help you get into this. Okay. I give it a squeeze. Does it have any give to it at all? You give it a, like, you try. You give it, like, a fair go. The can does not, it doesn't really buckle under your strength. There's a lot of pressure on the inside that you can tell.

It feels pretty solid. You don't think you could just break it open with your hands? Or do you feel like even if you could break it open with your hands, that's not very practical? Huh. Maybe you have to burst it open. Will Big T find a can opener? Find out next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company. I'm going to go. Favorite fuckos, Sants Pants Radio. If only they had digital downloads I could acquire and listen to, with many of them having a choose price option so I could swindle them by choosing zero dollars.

Oh shit, they do? I just gotta head to SantsPantsRadio.com slash shop, click on downloads, and peruse all the garbage they have on offer, and then give them nothing? Well, dreams can come true. have on offer and then give them nothing? Well, dreams can come true. Thanks, SantsPantsRadio.com slash shop for letting me take advantage of you and not setting a minimum spend. You dumb fucks. To be continued... Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favorite podcast app of choice, and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.