D&D is For Nerds - Stories of The Greyhill Free Company III #10 To Forgive is Divine

Episode Date: June 18, 2022

Where no good deed goes unpunished. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Home of comedy, culture, adventures, and ghosts. Previously on Stories from the Greyhill Free Company Are we lost, perchance? The stale thinks he knows where he's going, so he's not lost. Yes. You spot, it's a different mirror this time, it's a little hand mirror.

The mirror version of you puts her finger to her lips and says, and then gestures for you to come closer. There's a map in the bookshelf. But we can't read. It's a map. You can read pictures. That's what we do. The map will be pictures, but how will I know which is which?

Every town is just houses. But we've been to the town. We'll know the houses. What if it's a mistake to not get the map? No. No. No. You may not be able to help me yet. You have seen

this forest, have you? Yes. Been there? Yes. He starts snatching up the pieces of paper. These are instructions upon how to get to your destination. And thus, I will bid you good day and best

luck. No, you can go. I don't want to be a directions hog. Yayola leads the way. Which was a good decision. Oh, thank god. Can I walk? You can walk with the frame. Yeah.

Hell, here I am. Are they... Are they safe? Tabertine nods. Um, here I am. Are they safe? Tabertine nods. So I guess I want to look around. Are Suresh and David, are they around? You see David sitting away from you looking at Suresh. Suresh is dancing in little circles. She seems to be having a lovely time in the Druid's Grove.

It's quite obviously like the stars above being extra bright and extra beautiful in this place and tonight possibly in general seem to have captured her imagination she's staring up at them doing a some might call it a cast like little jig um i guess this is the point where i'd notice are they themselves adam well david you're only seeing from behind but he looks human he doesn't look I guess this is the point where I'd notice. Are they themselves, Adam? Well, David you're only seeing from behind, but he looks human. He doesn't look like he's changed at all. And if you look for close enough, you see that Suresh, at first, sorry, you see that Suresh appears to still be human.

She still has all of her features in the same place. She's not got a tail or reptile eyes or anything like that. But if you're looking for long enough, you notice that rather than her regular ears, she now has kind of slanted pointed ears and her eyes have a deeper, bolder color, which probably marks her as maybe some type of elf now. Apart from that, though though she looks remarkably similar to what she once did right which maybe makes you think that you currently look like what a glopple would look like as human it kind of implies that if you made glopples features human features

you would be what you are huh is it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I guess I'll try and ask Tavitine to help me up. You immediately realize without Tavitine's assistance, you would not be able to put yourself into a standing position. I'm just, it's all kind of sinking in.

Has this also affected the faculties of mind as well? Is that kind of of like is it just physical or is it very much like mind is also a bit slowing down i would say that once again it's maybe the sort of thing where you would not perceive anything have changed because your brain is like well this is what this is what we are oh yeah you don't think that you have, though. Okay. You can tell, like, you've got aches and soreness throughout your entire body. You are wracked with arthritis.

But you don't think that you, you don't think mentally anything has changed for you. You think you're still as sharp as ever. Okay. Well, then I'll think, thank you thank you and i'll start making my way i guess very slowly towards um the two david turns around to look at you when he hears you approach you see definitely he is still human he lucked out and has not changed a bit. Yeah, yeah, okay. Suresh? Two out of three, I guess, is a human. Well, maybe you only get reincarnated as a human. In your past experience, it's been mostly humans.

It's a human who... You don't. I'm not making that canon. It's just luck of the draw. Coincidentally, two people are human. But it is funny to consider. Yeah, yeah. Anyway.

Yes, yes. As you approach, David turns around to look at you, and you can see there's a lot of caution in his expression. He turns his entire body around so that he can see you properly as you approach with tavera time. He's not recoiling from you or anything like that, but you can tell that he's still got jitters, shall we say. That's fair.

The last thing I guess he remembered was being stabbed by his own knife. Yeah, yeah. The last thing he saw was his blade. Okay. I'll get Hobble over there. And are they on seats or is it logs? Or what's the kind of vibe? David is sitting cross-legged.

Suresh is standing, dancing around. All right. I guess I like to sit in a way where it's sort of like I can kind of vibe david is sitting cross-legged sarash is standing dancing around all right uh i guess i like to sit in a in a way where it's sort of like i can kind of see them both as it is as it is well when you get close enough sarash also spots you and then she stops dancing and regards you curiously you're awake she says uh yes so are you um you slept for a long time. Yes, well, I'm very tired these days, it seems. Are you okay? Are you feeling well? She gives you one of those childlike big nods, you know, like her entire body nods.

You're sick, but it's nice to see that you're better now. She's got, like like the pointed ears. Yeah. You can see now as well, now that you're a bit closer, your eyes aren't what they used to be. You can see now that you're a bit closer, she's got the angled features of an elf as well. I see you've got a

new set of ears. Do you like them? She puts her hands up and explores her ears, almost as if she had not noticed until this point. She nods again, with that big sort of nod.

The tree man said it's forever. Yes, well, see, I used to have gills, you know. I used to look like a little fish man. She, with a little bit of shock, puts her hands over her neck. Will I have gills?

I don't think so, no. No, not at all. You've just got those ears, I see. My name's Gloppel, by the way. It's nice to finally meet you. She gives a little giggle at the name Glopple. And David grabs her by the wrist and pulls her closer to him. Not necessarily away from you, because he's not any further away than she was. But kind of just pulls her in close to him, I suppose.

It's okay. We don't mean anybody any harm. We're just okay. David, was it? He nods. So, do you have a favorite animal? anybody any harm. Which is okay. He nods. So do you have a favourite animal? What was your...

Suresh, wasn't it? She nods, yes. Mine's a frog. I love how they jump and croak and croak. I'm also partial to a bit of a salmon myself.

Yes, do you have a favourite animal? Papa had a horse. A horse? You like horses? She nods. She nods vigorously and says, I like Papa's horse. Papa's horse is named Sebastian. Sebastian, yes.

He's a brown horse and he's really, really big, and she puts her arms out as far as they'll go either side. Do you know if it's kind of like a Clydesdale or does it have big hooves kind of thing? It's a brown horse. It's a brown. Okay, that's good to know. Now, I know I can, like, not right now, but I think shaping stone is a thing.

Can I shape wood? Is that a thing that exists? I know it used to exist, but doesn't anymore in fifth ed, apparently. It might. I don't know. Hang on. It should, because, I mean, a tree can shape wood just real slow. Why can't you do it fast?

Well, we can also shape wood real slow. Real, real slow. Yeah, real slow. So I think it should be allowed. But basically what I want to try and do is just either grab a little bit of like a log or like a twig or something like that, a bit of wood and just shape it into the shape of a horse, like a rudimentarily carved wooden horse. That's all I really want to do. Do you have druidcraft?

No. Someone who, when they made my character, was like, we don't need druidcraft. So closest I can get looking through the spell list is, like, bark skin mixed with shape water. Well, I mean, if you give yourself bark skin and then you are still a person who's 70% water, you should be able to do 70% of a good job. All right. Statistically.

I am. I'm going to allow it. This is not normal. That's fair. You do not actually have a spell that allows you to do this. I am allowing this for role playing. Thank you. This is, again, this is in role playing.

I will never, ever use this in combat. And if you did, you can have like three to four bad boy cards if I even suggest it. Oh, I give myself a bad boy card once an hour during recording. I just don't tell you. You deserve it. You do. I do. Yeah, you've been...

By the way, an NPC takes a sudden dislike. Ah! I hate you! She spits at you. Man, I fucking enjoy this horse. You're not my real dad. I never claimed I was. Where's my horse?

No, when you create the little wooden horse, she seems really, she's like, ooh. But David, like, pulls her in, brings her into, like, a bear hug, and does not let her approach you while you're casting the spell. I hope it's, I don't know what your father's horse looks like, but I hope this is a good recreation, shall we say. It's yours if you'd like to keep it. Papa's one is bigger, she says. She's holding it.

She snatches it from your hand. And she, david's protest david maybe tries to start saying not to grab it but she's she's grabbed it already well um i want to look at david and be like so look sir um me and your brother need to have a very quick conversation about more adult things. If you'd like, I could probably call over some squirrels or something, and you could play with them. Maybe you could show them your new toy.

Even Tavitine might, you know Tavitine. He doesn't talk much. He says looking at Tavitine. Yeah, he's a quite stoic man. But if you wouldn't mind, I have a few things to chat to your brother about. Is that okay, David? David sets Suresh down next to her and then gestures to a part of the Druid's Grove far away from the three of you and says, Yes, Suresh, go play.

She wanders off. Right. Thank you. I think we should discuss a few things that are probably not great for someone as young as that to hear, I think. So, David, yes? David? Yes. So, um,

David, yes? Yes. You feeling all right from what you know about the spell that was casted on you? It's very remarkable that you didn't go under any physical changes.

Maybe that's just the template. The druid said that it's just luck. Yes, yes. I understand you might be a bit frightened right now, a little bit scared, and that's perfectly fine. It's not just for yourself, but for your sister as well.

Again, that is fine. That is completely understandable. It's okay to be paranoid of the unknown. It's how we operate, really. It's fear keeps us safe. It takes a lot to get past that.

So all I ask for right now is for you to listen to me, if that's okay. You can hate me later if you so desire. You can be afraid of me later and be afraid of everything that's happening. But in this moment, be present. Enjoy the grass under your feet, the bird songs in the trees, and that you are in fact alive. I just i just want to catch you up to speed with everything that's happened is that okay david says nothing you just get a lot of tense

like a lot of tension from him it's like he kind it's like he thinks that you're a wild animal that could attack him at any moment but the silence the tense silence that it hangs between you has like an air of uh affirmation to keep going your sister is young very young she's not going to remember a lot of what happened, nor really understand until much later, I think, even if she ever does, the things that sort of happened here. But I guess this must come as a bit of a shock. Oh, sorry. Would you like something to drink or anything like that? He shakes his head slowly.

I've had enough of magic, he says. It wouldn't be magic to just be a drink. But I guess, look, there's no easy way to tell someone this, but you were dead, and so was she. So you attacked one of my companions. Twice, actually. The second time you got her in the neck, she retaliated. Rather too forcefully, in my opinion.

And for that, I'm very sorry. She should not have done that. But it was quick, and I hope painless, but I don't know. Your brother, if it means anything, immediately tried to avenge your death. He wasn't at all

very successful, but we subdued him. He is unhurt, and he is travelling with my companions to be here. I was just with my companions to be here. I was just a little bit faster getting here. So look, we had no idea what we were going

to face when we approached that river witch's house. And that's on us. We tried scouting ahead but it didn't work and it's not an excuse. We tried scouting ahead, but it didn't work. It's not an excuse. We probably should have tried a little harder.

But we had no idea that Suresh was in the hut when we attacked. The river witch, she cut off the horns of one of my good friends days prior. You see, and she wanted revenge. Not the most honourable of girls, I guess, but one that I feel is understandable. I do not know the state of your sister, what she was in when she was brought to that hag. I do not know if we could have done anything ourselves. I'm a nature healer, the one with horns that was taken.

She's a healer by using divine powers of a dwarven god. We would have tried. I don't know exactly we've done anything, but we would have tried because that's what we do. Or at least what I hope we do. We try and do good, David.

I don't know exactly the spell or the dark ritual the witch would have performed, but I do know if Sir Ash had come back, she would not have been the same. And look, I know her elven features. Yes, I understand she's not quite the same. But apart from her physical appearances, her mind isn't yet. Her personality is the same just like yours

the witch's magic is unholy and unnatural but I understand why you went to her it was hope hope mixed with fear fear of loss fear of being responsible fear of being responsible.

Fear of repercussions, you know, from your elders, community. And Seres mentioned your father's horse. I mean, are your parents still alive? I'm so sorry. I didn't even ask. I must be worried sick. This entire time you've been watching David, you've noticed that there is like an anger slowly building up inside him.

As he listens to you talk, he's been getting like steadily more and more furious. But it's an impotent rage. He, you can see, he's well aware he's lost this fight already and he does not plan on losing it a second time but he is incensed he's going like a little bit red around the edges and both of his hands are bowled up into fists he's listening calmly and patiently but you can tell that he if he could would throttle you to death okay okay yes he says very shortly you could tell he probably says it as quickly and as sharply as possible because he's trying to stop himself from saying anything else

you also at about this point feel a presence behind you i look over you see great up is standing behind you i just give give us a moment creative he nods. He takes a step back so that he's standing at a respectful distance, but he's not leaving this alone, I suppose. He's standing nearby. I understand. There's a lot of fear involved, but also a lot of hope. You hope that it will go away. Hope and fear makes you do stupid things.

It can also make you do courageous things. You know, attacking a fully armored knight with a butter knife twice is courageous. Stupid, but courageous. And no matter what you take from these events, know that you are, Deep down, when push comes to shove, you are a very brave man. I don't have much to give you, but I do have this shield. I think it was magical,

or it could just be a shield. We got it off a kobold or something. It's been a long time. I might have sold it, but I don't know. Either way, I'm terrible at keeping notes. But here it is, if I have it. It is... This is how item duplication glitches happen.

Yeah, I know. Either way, it's yours to take. Mistakes were made. And for that, once again, I'm deeply, deeply sorry. You know, I traveled here, not out of fear, but out of hope. You know, there are powerful magics within a druidic circle, powerful magics that can alter fate, but, you know, not without a cost. not without a cost. And while I did not hold the handle of the dagger that pierced your throat

or cast the spell that killed your sister, I was, in a way, leading the team that did. So again, I am very sorry for that. But I have paid that price to give you and your sister a second chance. This might mean absolutely nothing to you, but there is nothing tying you to that bargain. You are in no debt to any magical creature, fey, or to me, especially not to me. This is my cost to bear, especially not to me.

This is my cost to bear, and I bear it gladly. So I hope that is enough, and I guess I hope you can forgive me. And I know, again, this might not be much, but look, this is a lot of the, some of the gold, this is all the gold that I have. It's around about, I think, a thousand gold pieces. Just use it to better your lives and give her an incredible education. Move to some place, I don't know, warmer, whatever you want. All I ask is that you set aside some for her learning.

She's going to have a lot of questions, and we will be here to answer them if needed. There are ways to get us a message. I'm sure we can teach you that or her of those messages. But she has, I guess, elven blood coursing through her veins there's something inherently magical about the elves so again if you need anything

with any help with that we're here to help so hopefully your brother is not too far off they're only one or two days And hopefully your brother is not too far off. They're only one or two days behind us.

When he gets here, we will, of course, escort you out of the forest into your home. Unless you'd like to stay here, we can talk to Greedove about that if you need. But the decision is yours. Look, once again, I'm sorry for what happened. I cannot change the past. I do hope you can forgive me. And if not, that's okay.

I guess you have any questions for me? I'm getting rather tired. He looks at the money and the shield that you've offered him, and he shakes his head slowly. I don't want money, and I don't want a shield. Those are adventurous things. They come with trouble.

No, there's zero trouble. I'm only here to wish you well. You don't have to take the shield. I was just thinking because you were so very brave you might appreciate it with the money at least that that you can use that no i can't he says i can't just take it and use it these things come with trouble surely you you've been gone for a few days off work. Surely I could at least pay you for the time lost. He slowly gets up, cautiously, and he's looking past you, presumably to Gray Dove.

And he says, I would like to go home now. I would like to take my sister and go home now. Gray Dove takes a couple steps forwards, puts a hand gently on your shoulder, Glopple, gives you like a reassuring squeeze, and says, yes, I will make preparations. Presumably, at some point, your brother will arrive, and I'll make preparations for him to be taken to wherever it is that you live as well. May I have a moment to confer with my colleague?

David gratefully leaves. A lot of anger in that one, huh? You did a good thing. Yes. It was preceded by a bad thing. I was going to say, I think we did a bad thing first. Well, here's the trick. Nature is neither good nor evil.

Nature worships neither chaos nor law. Nature simply is. It is neutral in all things, as all druids should strive to achieve, and neutrality. Yes. Good for the sake of good is lovely but um blinded in many ways and evil for the sake of evil is similarly blinded yes like uh waves crashing on a shore it is what it is yes so anyway a wrong was done you attempted to write it to the best of your ability

and even though you will receive no gratitude for it it's not it's all right it's not your place to accept any we don't do this for gratitude no we do this i guess to make the place a little bit better for tomorrow great of kind of pauses on that. That certainly can be your philosophy. That's fair. What is yours? I guess it's just for the natural balance of things. For everything there must be an opposite,

for nature to remain stable. There is such a thing as too much good as there is too much evil. That's fair. Tip the scales too far in one direction and everything collapses. Right. Is she going to age like an elf? Yes.

She is, for all intents and purposes, an elf now. I believe a star high elf, many different phrases or words, terminology for the different types of elves. But an elf, yes. Her brother didn't seem very, I guess, keen on the idea of a great many things. Is she going to be okay? Is she going to be okay? He has much anger for you, but i tell that he has much love for his

family i do not think she will be mistreated and perhaps perhaps it is worth remembering that he looks he looks like kind of at you but past you, like he's thinking of something else. You see his mind kind of like chewing over something for a great time. And then finally he kind of like returns to himself, looks at you and says, It is worth considering that in the grand scheme of things, everything is okay.

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slash shop and click that downloads icon. In any case, he looks kind of off to the north, northwest, and he says, in any case, your friends should be arriving soon. I've been tracking them for a little while now, ever since they entered my forest. You should probably eat and drink. You've been asleep for many days now. They'll arrive soon, and when they do, I imagine you'll want to be ready to leave almost immediately. I guess I'm just still quite tired. Even more reason to eat and drink.

It's like he was expecting a certain answer, because food and drink appears before you instantaneously. Thank you. Am I, like, ravaged? Like, am i hungry or am i yeah you're starving you've been unconscious for days yeah yeah and didn't realize but um yes no i i could definitely eat definitely eat the food before you is on simple wooden platters not like nothing here is plates or knives and forks or anything like that. It's like a slab of wood with food atop it.

There's fruits, nuts, berries, meats, maybe cheeses as well. And you see a big wooden bowl similarly filled with clean, clear water. I guess I tuck in. It's all finger food and delicious by the time that you're nearly done you hear rustling among the trees and tree stump you arrive with Chantel, Yegola

and Adam oh and fire of course the little sprite fire that's everyone right? oh Sarin, how could I forget Sarin oh my other best friend so many best friends Right, fire. That's everyone, right? Oh, Sarin. How could I forget Sarin? Of course. Oh, my other best friend. So many best friends.

Oh my god, we're about to see my best friend again. You see everyone in the clearing. Grey Dove, Tabertine, Suresh, and David. Suresh, David, and Adam all reunite very tearfully. You spot an old man eating food who you do not recognize where's glopple um i'll say hello to everyone have you seen glopple what happened to glopple who are you saying that to every i assume everyone's sort of congregated so i give her as like i'm hugging all my friends i'm just like who's glopple i can't see him. Who are you hugging, Tabartine or Kraydov? Everyone.

Well, David does not hug you. Well, actually, the siblings are all kind of off to one side. Adam and David quite clearly don't. I think if they're sending a vibe i leave them be tavertine awkwardly allows a hug but does not hug back great of is surprised by a hug and after you hug him is like okay just gives you a very gentle pat on the back and if you ask both of them where glupple is tavertine gives you an awkward look, says nothing. Greadov gestures to the old man.

Hello. Do you know where... Oh, my God. Yes. Hello. Are you too old for me to hug you? If you're gentle, I guess you could... I give a big gentle hug.

Thank you. Thank you very much. It's nice to see such a familiar face. What happened? Well, I don't know if you... You're not really much of a magic user, yes.

So, when you're dealing with, I guess, some powerful magics, there's always, I guess, a price to pay. I guess I never really stopped to think about it. When Neola bought back Chantel, I guess prior to that, Eola, she would have had some sort of patron or master considering. So I guess that that individual might not be too happy with Eola considering she's, hmm. Look, when it comes to magics, a price is paid.

Oh, yes. I made a powerful enemy, but it was worth it. She says, glancing at Chantal. Chantal gives her a big smile. Yes, so the price for their lives was mine. Well, I'm glad you didn't die.

Yes, not yet. But then I could get old so you could keep living. And then all I have old so you could keep living. And then all I have to do is make a new best friend and then no one dies. Yes, but unfortunately when you get older, so will I. So will I. Yeah, but I... It's going to look...

If you make a big chain of people giving life up, then no one dies. Right? Well, I'm a firm believer. of people giving life up, then no one dies, right? Well, I'm a firm believer. If you're remembering somebody, if you're thinking quite fondly of them, then they will never die. Oh, that's too sad. Stop. That's why we just remember the people that we've come and gone. No.

Stop. It's okay, Big T. Like, you remember, you know, like, Falmone, Cherry Cheeks. Chantal for a brief period. What was the lizard's name? Kentura? Yes, you remember Kentura,ura Salamorn you know Cherry Cheeks

Herdek even you forgot Herdek didn't you I was going to call them Havastack you've said that before I know that's the one that's stuck

so so so you know we remember them even I see but you're not there yet

stop I see the Amir stop it's okay it's okay three times the Amir is is no longer I see they've gone gone there yet stop I see the Ymir is stop it's okay it's okay tree stop the Ymir is

is no longer I see they've gone gone back and um so long as we you know remember them too

I give you a big hug around the face stop of course sorry it's going to be okay I'm gonna figure out magic I'm gonna learn how to do it

okay okay tree okay Chantal it gives like a like what you just did a big a big like and let's do it. Okay, tree. Okay. Chantal gives, like, what you just did, a big, like, breathe in and says, well, the day is still young. We could start heading back to camp if we so desired.

What about she looks over at the siblings and you see that Gray Dove has organized a couple of stag steeds and is explaining how to ride them to the uh siblings you can see now that you're paying attention to him you hear kind of like the tail end of a tail end of the explanation he says and if you if you hold on uh as i as i instructed the the stags should know exactly where to go i've instructed them how to seek your home out it will take a little while to ride but should be faster than a horse he says you see the two boys mounting up onto stags and then maybe there's not a third stag. Maybe instead, Grey Dove had to find a bear instead. That one bear that you recognize from the many encounters you've had.

I love that bear. And Suresh is hopping up onto the bear very excitedly. That's very cute with like a with a massive trumpeting sound gray dove instructs or gray dove sets the animals to lead them back home the two stags leap forwards and you see both boys are like jerked suddenly and even holding on presumably as they were instructed both of them nearly tumble off. Suresh, on the back of the bear, has a lot of hair to grab onto, so she manages to keep her holding fine enough.

And the last that you hear or see of them is Suresh calling out, Whee! As they move at high speed through the forest. Yes, I think she's going to be just fine. Oh, my God. Her life's going to roll. She's going to have no idea about anything. No.

Someone will explain it to her one day, and she'll be like, weird. Yes. Right. Gradov watches them leave with, like, a contemplative face. Yes, Gradov? Was it clever to teach her that bears are fine? Surely that won't come back to bite

us next time on Stories of the Greyhill Free Company. Holy shit, we have such good shirts available at the moment. Seriously, if you head to santspantsradio.com slash shop, we've got a bunch of new amazing shirts available for you to grab and wear on your filthy bodies. I personally currently own a long-sleeved black Plumbing the Death Star tee with the Sants Pants logo on the breast and a huge Plumbing the Death Star logo on the back. I wear it all the time. And I also have one with the logo of the Greyhill Free Company on it from the latest season of D&D is for Nerds because it looks sick as hell. It's probably one of the best designs I reckon we've had in ages. So head to sanspantsradio.com slash shop

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