D&D is For Nerds - The Auticcus#2 Strong Opinions about Gnomes

Episode Date: January 9, 2016

The AuticcusIn which our heroes deal with a very special guest on the airship. We prepare our own breakfast, fall off the side of the ship by lunch and kill some birds before dinner. Atticus thinks he knows about arrowhawks, Nathaniel asks about snake oil and Ira decapitates a majestic beast. So join us as we get struck by lightning. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hey, welcome to episode two of D&D Sidequests. I'm Jackson Bailey, playing the part of Atticus Bluebird. I'm Joel Zammett, playing the part of Nathaniel Kraken. I'm Leo James, playing the part of Ira Thornborough. And as always, I'm Adam, your DM. Previously... So I'm playing Atticus Bluebird. I've got an eyepatch, I've got a gold tooth, a peg leg, and I'm just very racist.

So I'm Nathaniel Kraken. I am an orcish wizard. I have a little viper called Betsy. Yeah, the name's Ira Thornborough. I'm a half-elf ranger. I have a familiar who's a powerful owl named Patio. You guys work for Captain Flim Bap-Bap. There's another mercenary called Father Glenn Pollard.

His ship is somewhat unusual in the fact that it's an airship, not a boat. Oh, okay. All right. I don't trust no creature smaller than a frog, or frog-sized. That's just a personal belief of mine,

and I'm sticking to it. At some point, I'm throwing a homunculus off the edge. So a ram is just a ram. It's a ram. You bought a ram. It's like, Jackson, do you own a ram? Yeah. Do you know what a ram is just a ram. It's a ram. You bought a ram. It's like, Jackson, do you own a ram? Do you know what a ram is in our world?

It's a ram. It's that. How much control over it do I have? None! BatBat is there, like, standing on a crate. Come on, come on, look at the amazing airship. He seems to have completely forgotten that he needs to shove off in five

minutes, maybe? That's better. I guess we'd better get going. So, night passes. Morning's coming. Who would be... Well, obviously Ira, you're awake in the morning. Atticus and Nathaniel, this is like

maybe 8am-ish. Would you guys be awake? I'd be waking up. This is probably when I wake up. I'll be awake. Up for like half an hour maybe. Oh, I've got to check my bird now. I've got to let it with it. I can see Nathaniel in his dressing gown.

Atticus, you're like still super sleepy, so you're not really paying proper attention. You're probably like just, you probably just looking over your hammock, making sure there's no homunculi in the night that have accumulated. Do they move? Do they move in the night? Well, during the night, some of them will wake up, go out, and some will come in and sleep. Oh, gross.

Anyway, that's happening. So, Atticus, you're not paying enough attention. You don't notice. Ira and Nathaniel, you both feel like you guys need to be heading straight south. You both feel it when the ship starts moving, like, eastward. Like, there's physical, like, you know, you feel the ship shifting. You're going either off course or something's happening. That's odd.

Let's investigate. You can yell into the pipe happening. That's odd. Let's investigate. You can yell into the pipe thing. Although that would... That's odd. Just letting you know that if you yell like we're drifting eastward,

everyone's going to hear it. Yeah, I know. Maybe I'll be like, well, that seems odd. I'm getting paid. I don't care. Whatever. I'm sure Babab knows

what it is. Am I allowed in the brig to speak to Babab? Brig? The brig is a jail. Okay, brig. This ship? Brig, wrong word. Or it had one, but not anymore. Cockpit.

We are bridge. I meant bridge, but I mean cockpit. So am I allowed back in to just query? Yeah, yeah. You can even just lean through the door. Hey, BatBap. I can't help but notice that we're going off course a little bit. I feel like we're going east.

BapBap doesn't immediately answer you, but he looks over his shoulder and says, Come in here. I like Josh's view. Thank you. I'm sorry about the button thing. He moves past the captain's wheel and stands right in front of the window. He's pressing his face up against the glass almost. He says, Come right up here. Okay's pressing his face up against the glass almost. He says, come right up here.

Okay, I press my face against the glass also. He points at something. You have trouble seeing it because he's pointing at something at his eye level through the glass. What does that look like to you? He points at something. I try to line my eye up against his finger.

What do your elf eyes see? What do your half elf eyes see? What do your elf eyes see? So you see a lot of clouds. In the distance, you see what looks like a bank of blue clouds shifting. You've never seen this before. It looks super odd. Yeah, I can see blue clouds. You say that? Yeah, I've never seen that before.

clouds. You say that? Yeah, yeah. I've never seen that before. Bat-Bat puts his hands back on his hips. Belts? Hips. Do me a favor. Just make sure we keep this heading. He has literally never

let anyone else hold the captain's wheel. He just used for you to hold the captain's wheel. Do it wrong. Just make sure we keep this heading. All you need to do is, if it pulls one direction, Never let anyone else hold the captain's wheel. He gestures for you to hold the captain's wheel. Do it wrong. Do it wrong. Just make sure we keep this heading. All you need to do is, if it pulls one direction, don't let it. Bat-Bat leaves the bridge. All right, I hold that wheel.

That's a lot of responsibility. Yeah, it depends on it. Hold on a minute. He's like a homunculi crawling over the wheel. No, I'm cool with those guys. He's like a homunculi crawling over the wheel. No, I'm cool with those guys. You look like a bolt in his mouth. I'm just super psyched. I'm holding the wheel. So excited.

Okay, cool. Atticus and Nathaniel, you're probably maybe getting breakfast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be preparing a nice, delicious meal for us both. I'll let him cook me breakfast, guys. I ain't nothing touched by them homunculi. Damn right, we've made you delicious. What have I made?

Roll. Let's see. Bread and cheese. Bread and cheese. I'll cook an egg. With some egg. Alright, then. If you cook an egg, you're cooking it on the stove, the homunculi. Nope, nope, nope. I'll have bread and cheese. That's fine. I'd like to slide up.

Is there like a table for like the... It's like a cafeteria I imagine. I'll slide up wherever's free. Okay, cool. Humbly eat my bread and cheese. The only other person who's up right now is Millip. Yeah, I'll eat a hard-boiled egg. Yeah, we'll have some hard-boiled eggs. The only other person who's up is Millip Burfellow, the gnome. He's sitting at one of the tables

eating a slightly smoking meal. Or maybe he's smoking a pipe. Hard to tell. I'd like to slide up against Sidelop to him. Let's all have a little bit of a breakfast with this. You guys are having a nice chat. What's he eating? Oh, what's he eating? Once again, he's either eating

something through a tube or smoking a pipe. And it's actually hard to tell. I'm going to go ahead and assume the homunculi didn't mean that for you no no no he nudges you a little bit with his arm my own supply he says he takes another puff or another sip

you Sharon are just talking you want some? I want to look over at Nathaniel like, what is this? I just give you a nod. All right, yeah, I can scoot in. What have you got? He passes the pipe or bottle over to you. I inhale.

I inhale. You immediately realize that you should have, like, it's a straw. It's a drink, not inhaling. Imagine trying to inhale smoothie. That's what you just did. Oh, you've poisoned me. Actually, it doesn't hurt. Like, immediately you just cough a little bit. It's, like, unpleasant, but nothing else.

I feel like I did that wrong. You gotta... Millup, like, chuckles a little bit. You gotta drink it. Drink it. Sip, like a straw. You don't know what a straw is. Okay.

I wanna, like, try and drink it like a drink. Like, somehow sip out of it. That works as well. It tastes fruity. I'm incredibly suspicious of what I'm eating. What's in this? A couple different things. Okay, vague.

He basically goes through a Willy Wonka-esque list of different fruits and berries. I'll have a bit of it. Give me a little bit of that. I hand it over to him. I try and do the straw. Do I do it well?

Yeah, you get the straw down. Oh, good. It tastes like a bit fruity. You imagine it's maybe like, I don't know, if your character has ever had watermelon It tastes a bit fruity. You imagine it's maybe like... I don't know. If your character has ever had watermelon before, maybe watermelon?

I haven't. No. Okay, well. A little too intense for my taste. I'll go back to the bread and cheese. That's an honest man's meal. Can I hear you through the tunnel? Probably, yeah.

You don't need to make a listen check. Oh, no, no, no. The cafeteria, that main area like, area is, like, it's an open doorway and then the bridge. Are they, like, tasting this drink by the tannoy, though, so I can hear them? Yeah, quite a bit. So I just speak through the tannoy, like,

guys, can you bring me some of this drink? I like the sound of that. Do you mind if our friend is, what are you doing? I'm steering the boat why is he steering the boat? He shouldn't be doing that he's banned from the bridge I'm pretty sure he was

I'm going to go try and find BatBat to get tell, you know, I'm going to snitch you notice BatBat came out earlier, like while you guys were having this little mealap Bap came out earlier. While you guys were having this little meal, Bap Bap came out of the bridge and went above decks. So you go up above decks. Yeah, I'm going to head above deck.

Bap Bap's standing where Selina was, on the prow of the ship. He's got that little... No, he's got a little sextant. I'm flying! He's got a little sextant and he appears to be looking at something in the far distance. Tap him on the shoulder. He turns around.

You know that half-elf friend of ours is steering the ship, right? Friend. You know that half-elf friend of ours is steering the ship, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gives like a wave of his hand. What does that look like to you? He points into the distance. Do I see the blue clouds?

You do. They're a bit closer now. Blue clouds? Hang on. I don't know the kinds of clouds, but... I think in the bridge, it's just like us two and Millip, just you holding the thing. We're all like drinking out of this thing.

He's chatting to us about what he's selling. It tastes like watermelon, guys. I don't know what this is. I know water. I don't know what a mallard is. I don't know what water, do you grow it in the sea? Sea melon. Sea mallard, that just seems kind of odd. Millip, do you know what it is? Yeah, it's his drink.

Do you know what a watermelon is, Millip? Millip? Millip's distracted right now Sorry, he's just sipping his drink What was the question? Millip, do you know what a watermelon is? It's a type of fruit Do you know what fruit is?

Probably, yeah Anyway So The clouds actually look more like they're a swarm of something. Oh. It's hard to tell from this distance, but you can distinctly make out tiny little figures zipping around in it. Birds, I suppose.

Can a monkey like fly? Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. I throw up involuntarily. You're probably too busy you want a sip of whatever there so you're like you're still holding the wheel

but you're not paying attention a homunculi is holding the drink for me I'm not Millop takes out another one of those pipe things and lights it you're pretty sure this time he's just smoking a pipe

pretty sure Millip just like run out of glasses and was like I guess I'll drink my smoothie out of my pipe today what do you sell Millip oh a little bit of this a little bit of that what are you looking for welcome to the vague ship enterprise

I got potions that'll make people fall in love. I got snake oil if you want to trick someone into buying snake oil. Got a lot of that. Man, we just can't get rid of that for some reason. Curiosity, how much you sell that snake oil for? Snake oil? A snake needs oil. I've got a snake here.

Betsy, meet Billup. Billup, Betsy. Two silver, a steak here. Betsy, meet Billup. Billup, Betsy. Two silver, a flask. Does that work for anybody? What do you mean? Well, I guess if you're convincing enough. So I guess no. What are you trying to do?

I'm insulting him to his face. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. I'm just going to take insults well. In that they don't understand that you are insulting them. But a love potion. Love potion? What's in this love potion?

It's pure distilled love, I think. I don't know. How much is it? That sounds suspicious. That's a good question. I think it's 50 gold. 50 gold. I thought it was going to be cheap, so I just drink it straight away.

Sweet. You'll drink it. Damn right. Let's see what happens now, bitches. Nathaniel's on the war pod. Two silver done, I skull free. You attract the monkey life.

Oh no, it backfired. They swarm you and suffocate you. Have you ever seen like flies, flies crawling out of silence? You know when a cat sleeps in a baby's face and kills it? That's a constant fear. Making up with a dry, leathery mouth. Ew. So is it a literally actual love potion?

That's what he says. That's too funny. Wow. I didn't know that was a thing in D&D. Make a snake and eagle Fall in love I was gonna say Are they best friends

Can they be Are we working on that We're working on it Yeah okay Betsy what do you think I know you can't eat it You know You know how it is

I want it to be like Adam from Farthing Wood Oh sorry it's 150 I can't remember I was being a weasel 150 gold 150 gold So it's 150. Oh, no, I'm just being a weasel. 150 gold. 150 gold. So it's an actual love potion.

Yeah. Permanent effects? Sorry? Permanent effects? What does it do? Sure. Or is it just a fling potion? Did he just pick these potions up from somewhere else?

We ask him about what is clearly potentially a date rape potion. What is this? Well, hang on right here. He hops off the chair, goes back to his room, comes out with like... Do you both... Well, have you left the bridge? No, no. You're still on the bridge?

I'm still on the carpet. You can't read over his shoulder, but fucking you, Nathaniel, you can. When he takes out this scroll, the scroll is just instructions for the potion. The potion basically has the effect of charm person on someone, but for a lot longer a duration. Like, rather than

hours, it's like days. That doesn't seem ethical, Willem. Fight him. Fight him. Fight him in the brood. Who do you sell this to? Where did you get this? These are just trial ones.

We sell them in bulk. That's not good. I start explaining consent. He nods politely. I actually have some words with Atticus. I now have very strong opinions of gnomes. Rock and roll. I'm not done through my inventory, he says.

Would you like gunpowder? What does that do? He goes into his room and comes out with another sheet of parchment. Seems less rapey. It's just the description of what gunpowder does. It doesn't mention anything about guns, though. It's just like, you know, firepowder. It sounds like a party trick to you.

Yeah. Apparently you can use it in, like, fireworks. That's lovely, but I need to go now, Milup. Hey, all right. You enjoy your meal. As you walk away, you hear him talking to himself like, all right, Milup, that was a good attempt at a sale. Good practice.

Nobes or rapists? Gnomes don't know right from wrong. I'm going to find Atticus to regale him with information about gnomes I have. So is it visible what the dots are flying amongst the clouds? You could stand there and wait. In maybe another ten minutes you'll be able to see them properly. I'm assuming some kind of birds there. Some kind of big cloud birds.

No birds fly on this high. How do you know? You seen any birds fly on this high? Doesn't mean there's none. You ever seen a, you know, red dragon? No. They still exist. Do they?

Well, I don't know, but I don't know. Do they? But I don't know. They could be birds. Do you know what they are? I think I do. Do you want to enlighten me? I think they might be arrow hawks.

Do I know what arrow hawks are? You've never heard of arrow hawks before? A hawk you fire from a bow. Yes. I understand. I want, BapBap. I want you to do something for me. I want you to go downstairs, tell the folks to get into their cabins

and not to come out for a little while. Then I want you to grab Nathaniel, Ara, and we'll probably need Tolod as well. Grab the three of them, come back up here. Wait, no. Keep Ara on the thing, the wheel. Yeah, that's probably not a bad idea. Okay, we'll do Captain.

He nods. I head down to the cafeteria where everybody is. Attention! There's a hawks from Bo's Arrow Hawks. So that's bad. Everybody get in your cabins. Hunker down.

Nath! What was the other lad's name? Hoggum? What? Oh, Glenn. There's Lord Byron. No, no, no. Glenn.

Glenn Hoggath. Father Glenn. Tullard. Oh, Father Glenn Tullard. Sorry, I thought you were talking about the passengers. No, no, no. I sent everybody there. Nath!

Tullard! You're needed on deck. There's some kind of arrow hawks coming. How can my God appease you? I don't have fucking time. How can our God help you the dawn of fucking time? How can our god help? Anyway, come on deck. We're about to be besieged, all right?

If you're going to fuck around. By the way, I've got... Ira, you're good. I've got some information about... I guess we talked about noobs. As you're leaving... The god? No, no, the noobs.

As you're leaving, Lady Sif looks at you super concerned and says, is there any cause to be alarmed? I don't think so. I mean, any hawk that's small enough to be fired from a bow can't be too much trouble. Lord Brian laughs. The man's obviously right. Any hawk fired from a bow is not going to be a hassle for us. You know, the largest bow I've seen is about yea high,

which means the hawks are about the size of a chicken. That's the largest bow I've ever seen then as well. He laughs and gives you a little bit of a clap. I think we're going to get me again. I'm going to look back at him. Right, so it shouldn't be too much trouble, really. Do you mind if my boy stands on the deck

and just watches? Look, like I said, they're very small, about the size of a chicken, so I can't say if it's going to, you know, it won't be too much danger. Well, if it's not too much danger. I can't imagine it would be. He takes his boy and puts his boy on his shoulders. Come on, lads. And the glass is going to their room.

I'll take him onto the deck. No, he's carrying the boy. Oh, good. Oh, he's coming up too. Yeah, he's coming as well. Looks like mostly it'll just be batting away birds. Does any of us know what an arrow fork is? No.

You all get up on deck. I want to pull up my net because I might catch some to use in my arrow. Batbap isn't paying much attention so he doesn't know that the lord and his son are on deck. I don't want to get in such trouble.

I'm on the tannoy again, guys. Would it be better to have a bow on deck? I've got a bow, I think. It's fine. They're just tiny arrow hawks. They're just tiny hawks. It's going to be battening them away so they don't break the bow. You're once again a bit closer to the clouds now.

You say that, Ira, and Captain Bat-Bat says, no, that's a good point. He turns around, immediately sees the Lord and his son. The hell are you doing up here? Well, they just wanted to, you know, see the birds come by. It's going to be dangerous. Oh, I can't imagine it would be, Bat-Bat. They're not going to be that, you know, what?

Being swooned by a bird never hurt no one. He walks up to you. Like, he gets up to your waist. But he looks you dead in the eyes and says, take them downstairs, please. And then he passes you. Well, I don't know why he's so insistent, your lordship, but...

Captain's wishes. Look, you can leave the boy up here. We'll look after him. The boy nods and says, Yeah, can I please, Dad, please? Lord Byron nods... Brian. I keep saying Lord Byron.

Lord Byron. Lord Brian nods and says, Well, are you sure it's going to be safe? Well, I mean, I don't know what the captain's fretting about. You know, if things get hairy, we'll send him downstairs. Well, are you sure it's going to be safe? Well, I mean, I don't know what the captain's fretting about. You know, if things get hairy, we'll send him downstairs. Well, okay. Bat-Bat switches with you, Ira, and he says, get up on deck.

They're going to need you. Aye, aye, captain. Okay, you head up above deck. You pass Lord Brian on the way down. Master Tom Wilton is still on deck. How old is Master Tom Wilton? He's maybe 12. Oh, boss.

I thought he was going to be 8. I'm imagining Lord Brian, like, I'm going to say Brian Bless. Brian Bless. Brian Bless. Oh, man, imagine. Okay, all three of you can see proper now. The Arrowhawks are super close. They're all about the size of, like, maybe a halfling,

so, like, a toddler's size. Roughly a bit smaller than Master Tom. Yeah. I'm going to, once again, Jackson, if you would like to describe. Oh, what the fuck? So imagine, like, a pirate's X marks the spot. But then give the X feathers, okay? Right?

So make the ends of the X, the lines, wings. And then out of the middle of the X comes like an ostrich head, kind of? No, more like a flamingo head looking at it now. Right? Poking out. But it's got eyes... Okay, so this is complicated to describe.

Its mouth... It's like some sort of fucking Escher creature. It is. Its mouth is less like a mouth and more like the two top parts of the beaks come together. Does that make sense? And it's got four eyes. So it's like the top half of a bird and then underneath that is, again, another top half of the beaks come together. Does that make sense? And it's got four eyes. So it's like the top half of a bird,

and then underneath that is, again, another top half of the bird. Gross. And it has a long tail. I'll pass that around. People can maybe make it a bit clever. Guys, imagine an X-wing. There you go. An X-wing with a jagged beak, two tongues.

Yeah, it's like one head. Oh, sorry, that's a photo of my ex. Sorry. Jagged beak, two tongues. That bitch, Stacey. One head, but yeah, the top and the bottom are both the tops of a bird's head. And yeah, they have two tongues.

So someone got a bird head, and then got a mirror underneath their head? Yes. they have two tongues. So someone got a bird head and then got a mirror underneath their head? Yes! Which is funny because it means one eye is flying upside down. Yeah. They look very vicious. Oh, Christ. Yeah, right?

It's a puzzler. Someone's got two birds and smushed into one bird. Why has he got a bottom wing? Ladies and gentlemen, Arrow hawk, Google it. That's magic, I'm assuming. Nothing evolved. That's an arrow? What have I been looking at?

I was looking at assassin vine. There's a massive swarm of them. About as big as a cloud. At this distance now, you can finally... It was obscured by the cloud, but you can notice it finally now. There's a... So you guys know what a griffon is, right? Yeah. Like eagle head, body of lion, giant wings?

Yep. Fucking sick as shit. Where are you? Everybody's favourite. Everyone loves a Griff-on. Griff-on. Griff-on. Griff-off. Exactly. There's one of those in the centre of it and these arrowhawks

are just going to town on it. Like, you can, there's more blood than griffon going on right now. Um, let's, I'm just going to grab Master Tom. Tom? Tompkins. Tom. Master Tom. Let's just put you down. more blood than griffin going on right now let's i'm just gonna grab master top tommy topkins tom master tom let's just put you down go find what are they doing to that griffin tearing it apart they're just saying hello to him but let's just i'm just don't cuddle the boy i want to like lean down put my hand on the child's shoulder, gesture out and be like, that's nature.

That's the real world. What you're seeing right now is the true way of the land. You're going to get coddled, boy, because you're a rich child. I see it. Remember this moment. So, Nathaniel. So young. I like traumatizing young men.

Take him to the stairwell and go find your father. As that's happening, I'm going to need you guys. And then I'll stay on deck. Oh, no, I don't want to. But I want to, though. Hi, Solos. Oh, no. Joel, you haven't done one yet.

Hi. Oh, no, Adam's in ecstasy. As you are ushering him down on the side Like the sidewalk way Bap Bap says over the tannoy Hold on ladies and gentlemen The airship gets a massive burst of speed Heading towards that formation

You and the boy need Everyone needs to make balance checks But formation. You and the boy need, everyone needs to make balance checks, but for Nathaniel and the boy, these balance checks are very important. We're on stairs. What if we just fall off? What if I break my neck? You can become a vapor.

Let the child die. Become a vapor. Adam's like thanking the god of mean DM. The sudden burst of speed makes you slam into the side of the railing. You're holding on to Tom with both of your hands in the gesturing back. You flip over the side, taking him with with you and you start falling what you guys are in the cloud bank that's how high you are shit get out of there you idiot as soon as you go off the railing the first thing you notice before you even start falling is like as the fucking air just hits you proper now that you're out of the protective area of the ship.

Hang on. And just on another note, yeah, Atticus and Ira, you both keep your footing. But do. Can we help? Can we? Oh, no, there's no helping at this point.

You don't even know he's gone over. I'm a cast fly. Yeah? Yeah. I think that's the only. I'm going to cast Fly. Yeah? Okay. I think that's the only thing I can do. Drop the boy. Drop the boy. Drop the boy.

He's weighing you down. I'm an orc. I can live. Oh, yeah. That's true. What level spell does Fly? Three. Oh, you are so lucky.

You cast. You managed to keep your concentration. What would have happened if it was a higher level? In high stress situations, you need to make a concentration check. Otherwise, you fail the spell, don't cast it, and you lose the spell. How many castings of fly do you have? Only two. That would be funny.

Fly, fail, fly, fail. I'm flying. Now a more important thing. Goodbye, guys. I'm dead. What do you have on you? A ram. No. Rod. What's you have on you? A ram. No.

A rod. What's a metamagic rod? Oh, I forgot to explain that. So with that, three times a day, you can cast any of your spells silently. Oh, cool. Neat. You need to have the rod on you and in your hands.

So, okay. So that's all the items on me is the metamagic potions of levitate, gaseous form stuff. There you go. Man, you pretty much had perfect spells for this particular situation. Almost as if I helped you out there. Who knew? Not me. Yeah, you and me.

If you're like making the child chug a potion of levitate and then just holding on to it. As soon as this happens, I'm just thinking, guys, we need some kind of man-safe system. We need to tie some ropes around our waist. You don't want this to happen again. What if it had been either of us, Ira? We'd have been screwed.

We'd have been dead. I would have been calling on my owl. See if you can lift me. Yeah, you're super lucky you have basically nothing on you. You're able... Because you can only fly when you're in your light encumbrance load. And you're carrying the boy. I'm sorry, Tom.

I'm so sorry. No, no, no. Drop your backpack, you cunt. You said it was fine. I wasn't dropping nothing. Yeah, I know, but you were like, if you were to... Well, if it was, I mean, quick thinking, I'd be like, what's heavy, the boy? Highs or lows?

Lows. Screaming? Just a lot of screaming? I put my hand over his back. It's got... I lose. Screaming? Just a lot of screaming? Click him off. I put my hand over his back. It's going to be okay. Suffocate him? Shush him. What an ironic death at this point.

It's going to be okay, Tob. It's fine. No, you need both hands to firmly hold him. I'm holding him. That's true. Have a shush spell. Okay. So where do you want to fly and land?

I want to try and fly you want to be really quick because the ship is a lot faster than you to broader horizons child the quickest thing onto the ship so I can get him below deck okay you can just get yourself back super quick back onto the walkway you get there and you're probably like a bit

like even in the six seconds it took you to cast the spell and fly towards the ship the ship's like pulled really far away and you started at one end the front end of the walkway, you landed on the back end of the walkway if it had taken you any longer

you might have been using that fly spell to descend super slowly instead I'm just loving the image of you hugging the child around your waist using that fly spell to descend super slowly instead. I'm just loving the image of you hugging the child around your waist and flying off to the sunset. And everybody on the deck of the ship being like, where's he going? So for the people on the deck,

Ira and Atticus, you both, it becomes super quickly apparent that bat bat means to ram the cloud. Uh-oh. Sick. Rope around our waist.

Yeah, wise. Yeah, there's like just hooks on the sides of the ship. Cool, we'll tie rope around our waist and hook ourselves on because Nathaniel. This ship was obviously once designed as a sea vessel because there's like flotation devices Is there any Is there any way for me to set up a net now? No not with the time you have

Okay never mind I was like maybe I could catch one Just train it Throw it between us Yeah Can we do that? That's quick As we ram

We're tied to the side Yeah And we hold the net between us. We'll hold it between us. Okay, so I'm going to say... I'm going to lose the net. Nathaniel, are you going to make sure that Tom gets to his room? Okay, you make sure he's...

Yeah, I'll be the responsible adult here. You're escorting Tom to his room. When the ship hits the cloud... Uh-oh oh it's like your your full orc body crushes the boy uh there's like this massive jolt throughout the entire ship everyone feels it and um fuck your names atticus and ira you just like break you've properly braced you uh just roll with it did you have a net out yeah yeah extreme fishing yeah I'm sorry so I said I said hi Griffin was like just below the prow of the ship bang slams into it the Griffin rolls up on top of the ship slams into you. The griffon rolls up on top of the ship, slams

into you two, holding the net. The griffon is too big for this net. Oh, wow. Hold, lad, hold! All three of you, plus maybe half a dozen arrowhawks, slam onto the deck and are rolling around on the deck. I'm going to go to initiative

because combat is beginning. You nearly caught a griffon in a net. She's sick. Not even nearly. What the... Shut up. Almost. It touched the net. That's nearly. Oh, that's right. What's his name is here as well. Father. Father Ted.

Father Ted. Father Ted. I'm not even... He's just there. We're going to fight some... I'll fight these arrow hawks he's just there. We're gonna fight some... I'll fight these arrow hawks. Fight the griffins or the hawks? The hawks are fighting the griffins.

So are we on team hawk or team griffin? That's more dangerous to me. Nathaniel! That's not me, that's Sam. You looked at me. Nathaniel! Your turn. But I'm putting... where am I?

You're downstairs with Master Tom. Okay, I'm going to like push him into the door or whatever. Into the door. Just smack him in there. He's not physically harmed, so my parents don't really understand. They just know that he's like bawling his eyes out. Is he quite, yeah, quite pale. But there was, look, there's hawks are everywhere.

Just like he might lie to you and say we fell off the boat. Don't listen to that at all. Hawks swooped him. He's a bit of a faint of a hawk. Through the open doorway to the walkway, one of the arrow hawks is slammed into the

side of the doorway and tumbled into the room. It stands up. What are you doing? How does it stand? It didn't look like it had legs. It also had a wing underneath its belly. Well, it writes itself, I guess. Okay, that's fine.

How does it land? Adam, I'm scared and confused. Like an X-Wing. Here's little landing sticks. There's a guy with lights They don't land Well then it's flying in the room It like slams around and then just like It's flopping around on the floor riding itself

I have acid Something called acid splash Is that just like Is that going to damage Anyone else in the room Is my question. You are standing at the doorway to the fucking Wilton family. It's slammed into the main room.

It's up the hole from you. If you throw that ball of acid, the only thing you're likely to hit other than the arrow hawk is like the surrounding ship. Alright, I'm gonna use...

Which could probably handle a blob of acid. I'm gonna use magic missile. Okie dokie then. I hear the question you've asked is

great. That does something different. Okay. I've got no area of attack spells. Really? Are you finding

sphere that you? No, I don't think so. Oh, that's an AoE? Yeah, that's an AoE. Oh, sweet. I'm going to kill a bunch of things. Sort of AoE. Actually, it's just not.

Not really at all. It affects one target, but it lasts for rounds. And then you can move it around. Yeah, you can move it around. Anyone who runs through it gets hurt. Pardon me, Atticus. Thank you. I say in the commotion on deck.

Allergic to a griffin. Griffin and elves. Three bursts of magical energy leap from your hand. One of them strides. One of them is just this massive fuck-off-like one. And the other two ones were a bit smaller the first one slams into the arrow hawk and it fucking starts tumbling again across the floor the other two blast into it uh you're like standing there like because you know you've been flying out in the air

you're old this fucking thing's landed in here just burst out. You're like firing magic at it. It's the time. And you're like, did I actually need the second two bolts for the first one? Just kill it? You're like, was that overkill? Whatever. Whatever. I draw my knife.

What's happened? It's dead? Oh, it's buried. It's rolling around on the ground in like bloody chunks. Collect its feathers. Make a headdress. Okay, above Dex. Yes. The griffon starts fucking thrashing about with you guys on top.

I don't know. It was caught up in Samus Adventures. It starts riding itself, and the arrow hawks are just swooping down at it. You guys are both underneath it right now. are just swooping down at it. You guys are both underneath it right now. It's like massive front and rear legs are like stomping around you. This thing is like,

imagine a horse, but with claws and heavier almost. About the size of a horse, but heavy. It's got fucking weight to it. They just continue their fucking fight. You guys are being drenched in griffin blood By the way

Atticus it's your turn I'd like to draw my cutlass and just stab up Into it's haunches No it's underbelly With a griffin It's on me I gotta get it off me Are we killing everything

I don't give a fuck I don't want to die Get gone Foul beast Are griffins like unicorns Where they're like You know It's bad to kill one? No I think it's good

I think it It's like They're like the middle ground Like dragon's bad A griffin's neutral A unicorn's good So like Don't kill a unicorn

Kill a dragon Maybe kill a griffin Maybe Do what you like really kill a griffin Maybe Do what you like really With a griffin You know You're like a hot maybe Yeah

Are we Getting any special powers From the griffin blurts Yeah You uh Stab upwards And you cut Like your cutlass

Goes deep Into the griffin And then you like Slide it across You can feel it like Raking across bone And you just like Work it as well as you can. Rock and roll.

Yeah! It dies. A simple man. He's a ranger. Can he commune with animals? That's what I was just... Too late. Oh, are they? Yeah.

I think a griffin counts as a monster. Anyone can communicate with a griffin. It's intelligent. Oh, straight up? Like, he a dude? I'm not sure if they actually just talk. Is it male or female? She a dude?

No, she a lady? They're intelligent. You just stabbed an intelligent... I feel this is now... Is this murder? I feel this is now leading towards the unicorn scale of dragon and unicorn. It's basically like someone who has a... Who is...

Imagine someone with an IQ of 50. Oh, okay. That's what this is. Not a very clever guy. Yeah. Oh, he's a dullard. No, that's fine. Mule kicked.

They can't speak, but they understand common. That must be a living hell. Tough more with among their own kind. Plus, I guess, how are you? Ira? Ira, sorry, your turn. Yes, well, I suppose because we've engaged the griffon in combat, I too am lying under the griffon, is that right? Yes.

You could use your bow and arrow, but in your current position, it would be super awkward and you probably wouldn't hit. Okay, let's... I'm trying to mime it right now, it's hard. You have your longsword. Yeah, I'll go with my longsword as well. I would recommend. Let's see how we do.

See, I'm waiting for Adam's reaction, because usually when we do something bad, like, say, kill a unicorn, he kind of is like, ooh. But I think it's good to kill a griffon. I don't know if we're doing good or bad. It's spooky. Like I said, Griffin's the neutral animal,

so Adam's going to be neutral for it Adam gave me a look like What Jackson? You are neutral Okay That could only be more perfect If you followed that How about that?

There we go Ira, you stab upwards Your sword blade However, it pierces the Griffin How about that? There we go. Ira, you stab upwards. Your sword blade, however, it pierces the griffon, but in its side, and you don't do nearly as much damage as Atticus. Your blade is more of a glancing blow. Hey, we're still taking it down. Nathaniel, it's your turn.

Come on, Nathaniel. It's hectic here under the griffon. Come join us. Someone below deck, yeah? turn? Come on Nathan, you're on this tactic here under the griffins. So I'm going to run up the deck, someone below deck, yeah? Have a lie down. If you want to hurry, you're going to have to make a climb check.

Yeah, okay. Yep, cool. That'll be your turn, yeah? That will be your turn, yeah. But you'll be on deck at the end of this

turn. Just watching us. Knife in my teeth. You're up on deck. You see what's happening. What do I see? You see this... Hang on.

Actually, quickly. 14. 106. Okay. So, Nathaniel, you see this massive griffon. You know what a griffon looks like, right? Yes. So it's standing over the prone forms of Ira and Atticus.

Both of them are thrusting upwards, so obviously they're not dead or anything like that. Inadvertently, the griffon is either the subject of the arrow hawk's aggression, or it is protecting them from. Probably not protecting them though because both of them have swords lodged in the griffin's underside

alright if the griffin weren't there though the arrow hawks are just bang bang bang just fucking going at it if the arrow hawks weren't there they would be just filled with arrow hawk arrow that was not a sentence but I understood what you meant filled with arrow, hawk, arrow.

That was not a sentence, but I understood what you meant. Filled with arrow, hawk, arrow. Sentence now. Sure, if the arrowhead wasn't there, they'd be filled with arrow, hawk, arrow. Got it? Yep. Good.

Okay, sure. Why not? Let's go. What does it happen now? What do you do? Nothing. No, you came up and backed up. I came up up and bought it and went, oh, this is... Oh, shit!

I might go back down. This is a bit much for me. Wiltons, I'm going to stand here with you. A bunch of the arrowhawks, like, slam into the griffin, and they just start tearing into that fucker. They've, like, got, got you know those fucking beaks like both way around beaks you know what I mean? Eyes on all sides.

They start tearing into that you guys are just being like, you're pretty sure an artery, several arteries have been severed. The griffin is bleeding very heavily and it almost feels like you're underneath a waterfall of just hot blood coming down. Oh god.

See some of that slime inside the griffin. The griffin, like, spins around in a rapid circle, and of the maybe 20 arrowhawks here, the griffin, like, slays 10 of them in one go round. Are we still attached to the griffin when he spins around? It's like... Are we getting dragged along? Not really, no.

Your sword probably slides out. Maybe if you don't attack him, he might not think it was you. Atticus. No, no, I'm not that clever, Zan. I know. Yeah, because you stabbed it. No, am I still stabbed into the griffon? You can go again if you want.

Can I, like, stab into it and then heave up and try and push it over? So, like, I'm underneath. I'll mime it for you. I'm underneath. Yeah. I go, whoa! And, like, stand. Like, push it off me.

That was such an exasperated yeah. You know what I mean? Like, here, I'll do it with my hands. I'm underneath over here. I know what you mean. I'm like, whoa! I know what you mean. I'm thinking of logistics.

I'm going to tip a griffin over. Throw it over the edge. You're only size medium, remember? Yeah, but I'm super strong. Okay, sure. I'm the strongest lad in the land. You are. Strongest and handsomest.

Strongest and handsomest man. Even though I've got an eye patch, gold tooth, peg leg. Eye patch, gold tooth, pedicling. Oh my God, yes. Adam Cannavale's exasperated That means that I do the thing that I want to do Okay stab deep with your

Scimitar your cutlass And with your other hand you grab Like the side of the griffin You push With all of your might And you roll the griffin onto Its side and you are standing Over it now.

Hey, do I have... I don't have action change, that's not a thing. Dang. Ira, it is your turn. Okay, so what are the arrowhawks doing now? They're still swooping around. They don't look very friendly to you, though. Okay, are they going for us now?

They're like... Well, they haven't started yet. They don't look friendly towards you,, they haven't started yet. They don't look friendly towards you, but they haven't outright attacked you yet. If we are going all the way of killing this griffon, now that

Jackson's flipped it on its side, I will take my long sword and leap on top of it, stabbing in. You actually want to leap on top of it? Let's give it a go. Yeah, go nuts. Fuck the police.

We started underneath, now we're on top. We're on top. Started on the bottom, now we're here. Exactly. It's a thematic circle. Yeah, hero circle. Journey of life. Circle of life.

The Lion King 2. Nature. Yeah! Super good. Oh my goodness. Adam's making like these faces good faces for us

maybe maybe no because he's not joyed so we're not dying yeah it's true Adam's not happy so we're not

it's dead a look of disbelief the idea that Adam was trying to kill it's a look of betrayal at his dice exactly I guess because the with the idea that Adam was trying to kill us. It's a look of betrayal at his dice. I guess because the griffon is on its

side and somewhat incapacitated and busy you are able to leap onto the griffon and stab downwards with your fucking longsword. Yes. You stab

into the griffon's neck, slide across, you behead the griffon. Yes, four moves. The griffon's body is propped up enough on its side that its head makes an audible squelching sound as it separates completely.

It is not a clean separation, though, and gore and grizzle are everywhere. Take a speak. There's long stretches of fucking skin still holding it back. You could have mounted that. Put it on a wall. I did that. That was me. Nathaniel.

Okay, then. I'm going to lob some acid splashes at some arrow hawks. You throw a glob of acid. The group of arrow hawks part almost perfectly. And the glob of acid flies clear past them. I see how this goes. I was going to say, does it hit the deck? No, you haven't ruined your day. You've ruined some random person below you.

Lent on the same child. Jakes and spats on. A little elf child. Mama, the sky is beautiful today. Oh, no. Heard of acid rain? This is quite literal. Well, even acid, when people say acid rain, they do mean acid rain.

Yeah. But this is acid rain. they do mean acid rain. Yeah. But this is acid rain. This is equally acid rain. Little Master Tom sitting, looking outside the window. Just a splosh of acid in his face. Through the brain. I think that's how it goes. Hey, is it the mandrill's turn?

I mean, the Skyhawks? That's a band. No, Skyhooks is a band. Skyhooks is a something. I'm sure it's something. Was Skyhookks a video game? Was it like a CD? Two of the Arrowhawks.

Well, actually, wait. Hang on. Highs or lows? Any one. First one. Low. Low? A lot of you fucking don't.

One of the Arrowhawks flies over the side of the ship and you lose sight of it. That's good. Two arrow hawks open, like, their massive fucking weird moors at you, Nathaniel, and then bolts of electricity launch from their mouths and strike at you. What?

What the fuck is this bullshit? God damn it. I will have none of this. strike at you. What? What is this bullshit? God damn it. I will have none of this, thank you very much. I enlarge in them. Would they get confused? You dodge to your left and one of the bolts of electricity blasts against

the deck of the ship and you dodge that one. But the other one strikes you dead on in the chest. Oh man. Get fried. Five damage. Alchihuahua. Alchihuahua, heart-shaking mama.

Oh, that is not good for me. Then of the seven remaining ones. Oh, wow, okay. Dang. Can I get an odds or evens, Jackson? Evens. Evens, evens. Evens. Okay, cool.

Three of them swoop you, Atticus, and four swoop at you, Ivan. Sweet. That's all right. We got this. Yeah, we got this. Just yell along. Make yourself seem bigger. Cast a spell on us.

In Ludge. How are we doing? Well, my bad, actually. One of them, Atticus, one of them swoops down, and you, like, lift your shield. Bang! Just slam it out of the way. Another one comes in under the shield, slams into your chest, and rakes you with its beak.

And then, as you're doubling over from that one, you lower your shield and expose your head, and one comes in at your fucking face. Ah! God, they are birds. You take five damage from the one that slams into your chest. Oh, no. Oh, no!

It's a crit hat for the bird man. It's a crit sad for old Atticus over here. Old Atticus Bluebird. That's my name. Don't worry about it. Adam, you're silenced. And I've got four of these to look forward to. And no shield. I'm like reflex.

What's this, Adam? Okay, so I can choose piercing or slashing here because it's got different types. So I want you to choose for me if you took piercing or slashing here, because it's got different types. So I want you to choose for me. If you took piercing or slashing damage, knowing that one of them is going to lose you a body part. What do you want?

Yeah, I kind of want to lose a body part. I think you want to lose a body part. What is it going to be? Slashing or piercing? Slashing or piercing? Which one do you think? Piercing just throws. Probably slashing might take an arm, I reckon.

All right, let's say slashing. Slashing, severed hand. The hook! That's so cool. Normal damage and target loses a hand and takes a D3 constitution and strength drain. Fortitude negates. That's amazing.

That's so cool. I'm going to get a hook. I know. So it slams into your face, or at least you thought it did. Its main body slams into your face, but the side of it clips your arm and snips your, we'll say... Dominant. Whatever your dominant hand was going.

Left hand, which I'll say has your shield. You take five points of damage. I wonder if we can, like can weld a shield onto that. There's a way. There's a whiz, there's a way, as they say. And you lose two points of constitution. Is that permanently?

Drain. It won't come back naturally, but like a cleric. Hey, we've got a cleric. Hey, we've got a cleric. You guys know he's bullshit. He's legit, guys. He's the best cleric in the land.

He's the worst cleric in the land. Okay, so that will lower your maximum hit points, BTW. God damn. But that makes sense. There's less of my body now. I get it. Your total hit points go down by five. Dang, son.

I had a rough day just now. Also, how many points did I say you took? You said I took five and then another five. And two con. So you're on 40 hit points total. Wow. That's pretty good. That's fine.

Thank you, shit. Fuck. I'll lose a hand. And That's fine. Thank you, shit. Fuck. I'll lose a hand. And then four of them swoop you up. Are you ready for the pain? Blood's spurting out. What if I can just slam my stump into the bird? Adam's exclaimed, good or bad,

what's going on? Imagine if they all got critical haps. I said that and Adam's eyelids went off good or bad, what's going on? Imagine if they all got critical haps. I said that and Adam's eyelids went off. Oh my goodness. Are you just dead? Are you like blind, no hands? A similar thing happens where one of them swoops you and with your arm you just reach out and bat it out of the fucking way.

But you open your chest, three of them, like fucking missiles, strike you. Oh, fuck. From two of them, you take a total of nine points of damage. Jesus. Oh, I did the wrong one. Sorry. Maybe you don't take nine points of damage. I did the wrong one.

Oh, sorry. Jack, you lose a leg. No. Your torso, gone. The other leg. Two peg legs. I had a cliff everywhere. I'm trying to imagine somebody without a torso

and their legs just extending into their hands. Just sinew. Yeah, like, whoa. Atticus, sorry, you're on 55. Oh, yeah, I thought I was doing, yeah. Out of 60. I thought so. I thought so.

You take, Ira, you take nine points of damage from two of them. Jeez Louise. And then from one of them. Oh, boy. Oh, no. Okay, so. Piercing or slashing? Know that you will lose a body part.

Piercing or slashing I don't usually give people this option but I'm no for piercing punctured lung double damage and target begins to drown three rounds later. Oh my gosh. Hey, and guess what we don't have? Clary. But, will a health potion sort that shit out? No. How do we sort that shit out?

You need a restoration potion. Oh. Have you got one? Because I don't. No. Cure light wounds. You like started flipping through your thing

and I could have just immediately been like because I bought those potions for you. No. I wanted you to keep the hope for just a moment. You see my face.

How do you stop him drowning? He every round he'll make a fortitude save. Okay. So he just writes himself. That's fine. That's fine. Don't even.

Stress. Jesus Christ. 14 points of damage from that last one. As it literally embeds itself in your chest. Get my... Oh, Dak. Yeah. Let's...

How much damage did you take? Nine from the other ones. So a total of 23 damage Nearly half your hit points You don't have any restoration good times do you? Samad over there Enlarge him Then the poison will have more body to go through

Okay Atticus Oh you drop your shield Your armor class goes down by two. I'd like to yell, Get below deck! to Ira over here. And then I'd like to use my... What's it called?

It was one of my feats. My power attack? Yeah. This one that makes damage more, but I'm less likely to hit. More damage, less likely to hit. And I want to try and stab the one that took my hand. It's just flying off of your hand in its mouth.

Well done. Okay. Thrust forward. How many... You can do up to five points. I should have said, you can do up to five points. You should have... So I do up to five points extra? Yeah, you can do up to five points. I should have said, you can do up to five points. So I do up to five points extra?

Yeah, you can do up to five points extra. Okay, but if I do five... So it's plus five damage, negative five to hit. Oh, yeah, yeah. Up to. I would have gone all the way. All the way every day. That's me.

Take my hand, will you? I'll take your life! I'll take one of your four... You can't use your sword double-handed now either. No, I'm going to be like... You thrust forward, skewering one of the arrow hawks. It dies on your sword. Spasms once and dies.

I'm just going to start skewering them. Hey, I have cleave. You can keep going. Yes! You keep with the power attack You hit another one Can I just skewer it again Yes Do you want to

Well you could have killed another one But okay you only killed one No no no I wanna like Skewer the others I just wanna get like a shish kebab Of them on my sword You skewer, you kill two Two are spasming, dying in death throes on your sword

Go for another I thought you were like, I want to hit this one again No, can I go for another? No, cleave only once Hey, still good Okay, Ira, first round. You feel woozy. What are you doing?

To be fair, just letting you know, you don't know that you're going to start drowning. Try to keep yourself separated from your character. Can I attack? Yeah. You might want to pull out your bow and arrow because you're slightly better at that. Yeah, I think I'm going to give a rapid shot to go.

Okay, cool. So you've got to pick now. Do you want to hit the same one twice or two different ones? So you can do quite a bit of damage with one arrow, but you're not sure if that's enough to kill one. Yeah, I'll have two shots at the same. Two shots at the same? Cool.

Take him out of the sky. You hit the same one twice Two shots at the same line. Cool. Take him out of the sky. You hit the same one twice. That's my arrow noises. Okay, so your first arrow, like, sends it spinning, and it, like, starts flying really erratically. Your second one strikes it, and it stops flapping its wings. It just, like, sails over the side. Sweet.

Some elven child, like, looking up in the air. Mama, I just got acid over the side. Sweet. Some elven child is like looking up in the air. Mama, I just got acid in the face. Spit, acid, What is that? Is that an angel come down the sail?

Oh, no. Shut up. My eyeball has been pierced. I'm going to need to lodge in person. Is that a man's hand, mummy? Okay,

so you rush over to Atticus. You put a hand on his back. I'm going to make you huge. All right! It's like the thing I grab his shoulder and scream in your face. Not like angrily, just... Showing him my stump hand. Is my viper... Can it do poison bite?

Yeah, its attack does have a poison bite yeah it does it has it's attack does have a poison element to it do you want it though to get caught on a bird that flies away go and attack one

for real for real it can't they're flying it's a snake you can you can throw it you can pounce

you can curl um strong oh never mind you useless let me have a look at your sheet. Just throw it, Zoma.

I guess if you... No, you can't throw it because he used his spell. No, I mean, he could throw it physically with his arm. You wouldn't be aiming anywhere. It'd just fly through the air. Just throw it up. A bird comes in, takes it, and fuck off. Ah!

No, it's... Shit. Like,'s just period can't leap ah it can't coil up like a spring boing boing

no it can't leap that's sad so if it's if it isn't on the ground it can't really attack alright Betsy you just keep being a brat

it does that good okay ah you can swore yeah that's pretty much it that's your turn okay cool

I'll be big next turn and I'll be able to grab them out of the sky yes can I get a highs or lows first person highs good job yay okay

three of them just scarper they're just gone sick you're welcome I just highs highs of the three that are left two of them are ones that Scarper. They're just gone. Ah, sick. You're welcome. I just shout, hi! Hi!

Of the three that are left, two of them are ones that, like, blasted you with bolts of electricity. They swoop down and try to attack you, Nathaniel. The final one, like, flies super high, opens its maw at I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. Six.

Five. Five. 5. 5. Attacks you, Atticus. I hold my stump to the heavens. It blasts electricity at you. The electricity strikes you dead on in your shield. Conducts, not your shield, sorry, your breastplate. Oh, rats.

The electricity courses through your armor. It's like your stone cauterizes it. Yes. You take four

points of damage. That's fine. I'll fucking shrug off four points of damage. Don't give a shit. Yeah, try 14. Tell me how you do.

Then the other two, yeah, swoop Nathaniel Oh no Swoop Nate Nate get eight Get away from me bird Both of them hit you

Dammit you birds These fucking birds Have actually Wow both of them got max damage Okay so the first one Slams into you Ow Spins you around

It's like Like in a cartoon or something like that You spin around You're like What was that And then the second one slams into you right after that you son of a bitch you take um 14

points of damage yes I want to hit the point what the fuck what the fuck looks like the D&D lads have got themselves into a bit of trouble will they get themselves out find out next time on D&D side quests into a bit of trouble. Will they get themselves out? Find out next time on D&D Sidequests. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account?

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