D&D is For Nerds - The Last Queen of Bluebeach #4 Lizardfolk Ambush

Episode Date: May 12, 2018

In which our heroes have a bad time in a fight with some lizardmen.Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/To find out more about all the other podcasts taking part in the Podcasts of Annihilation, just head to http://dnd.wizards.com/poaWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradio Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sanspence Radio, I tore the green off the top of the deodorant. The plastic. Bye. Hello and welcome to episode 4 of The Last Queen of Bluebeach. A D&D is for nerds adventure. Previously. Sometimes when the needle raises, I will poison my arrows. It is common of the royal guard.

Captain Mercer, looks like one of your boys was killed by one of your boys. If you happen to find any messages that might have gotten lost, perhaps, somewhere in the tavern, all you need do is hang them outside this front door. Sincerely, and always yours, The Conspiracy of Plut. If you wish to tattoo it upon yourself, you would need enough room, which would only really be found on your washboard abs, I assume, or your washboard back,

both of which make it very difficult for you to tattoo it. You do a decent job of knitting a decoy hanky. All right, well, we've knitted a decoy hanky, and we're going to give him the wrong time. I'll wind with old man here, make sure that she's okay, and we'll just go along, shall we? Yes. As you're tromping through Normandy forest,

you don't encounter any bandits, but... Passive deception. Too busy having to sing a song. That's what too busy, too busy being merry. That's what we were doing. Oh, who's merry? Very good one, Noddy. Very good one.

You know, I've checked my stocks and it looks like, oh, I've got a good one. So buckle up for a good ride is what I say. I buckle up. Old man. Yep. Old man or old man? Old man Yep Old man Or old mam Old mam Old mam

You start to notice Creatures following you Or people They're humanoid sized But they don't move Like people They're sloped Quit you smooching on now

Alright Because there's something In the bloody woods On either side of us The bloody woods You say Yes Should we get down

And maybe confront these They've been following you for maybe a solid hour. Do they seem threatening in the way they move? They're stalking you like a prey and hunter. So what should we do here is just keep pretending like we are prey, wait for them to jump upon us, and then we're simply just using the element of surprise because they think they've caught us unawares.

We just in the face. All right. Excellent idea. All ready ourselves for an oncoming attack. Highs or lows? All the way up there. Highs. Highs, highs, highs.

High how you're doing is what I say. Okay, can I get a marching order? Who's out the front? I believe. I feel like that's me. The old man would be out the front You two are up the back having a little gossip We've changed horses

You two are on the same horse You better believe we are We're holding each other's horses You only have the two horses Old mam sitting there with a midget I'm on my own horse You two are just on Sitting next to You're on the horse that Pierre supplied with you.

Bitty. Bitty. That's a classic horse name. What's the other horse's name? What's our horse's name? Well, you got it off the soldier, so. Are we going to name this horse? We can name the horse whatever we want.

What are we going to call the horse? Let's call it Your Delight, all right? Your Delight. Your Delight. Your Delight. What a good name for a horse. Your Delight. That's so beautiful.

Okay. Okay. So, old man, you're out front. Yep. Two trees crash in front of you, blocking the path. Your horse, Bitty, rears backwards in fright. Oh, no. And at that moment, creatures leap out from all around you. Oh, here it is.

Here we go. There are five of them in total. That's as many as us plus our horses. I think we'll be okay. Oh, shit. The bloody lizard man. Oh, shit. This guy's got a fucking turtle

shell for a shield That's mad And makes a lot of sense because a turtle shell is basically nature's shield He's also got a mad mohawk He rules Or she It's hard to tell the gender of a lizard You gotta get real right up in there

You push their belly so their cock flops out That's how you do it That's lizard you do it. That's lizard folk for you. Do they need to kill the turtles? Are they more sentient than turtles? Yes, I'd argue. Maybe not more sentient than turtle men, but like...

Are they turtle men? There's probably turtles. There's elephant men indeed. I would be surprised if there wasn't. I think there's two different types of turtle men. Of course there are. Yep. There it is.

Cass's face is just pure joy right now. I don't know if it is because that means that. Well, you don't know if that turtle shell shield is from a turtle man. Good, from a regular turtle. Love action. No, the type of turtle man that has a shell is too big for that, I think. Okay. Thank God.

Phew. So that would be like if i were a human yeah and then i used like chimp legs as batons yes i guess that's the equivalent a hundred percent a hundred percent well, I feel like I know how. I don't. Look at that lizard man. He's looking over his shoulder like, what do you say? Excuse me? What do you say to me? Come over here and let me smack you with my baton.

What the fuck are you saying? Yeah, it's good. Five of them? Yes. Five in total. So four of them, they were the ones who were obviously, you know, sneaking up behind you or sneaking around you guys. The fifth one comes out from ahead of you and stands on the fallen logs.

Separate from those ones, he seems to be not holding a weapon. He's got this weird-looking bead dress all around him and a massive headdress made out of many different types of feathers and emblazoned with uh dried starfish oh that's very nice naughty you know lizard well uh unfortunately neither of you have really encountered lizard folk before but uh naughty you have encountered lizard folk before. You're vaguely aware of them as a constant blight upon the area around Blue Beach. They typically come out of the water and send

raiding parties deep into Blue Beach territory, where they'll often kidnap people as food or sometimes slaves. Well, I can definitely say I don't want either of those options to happen to our team today. Okay.

The one standing on the logs opens its maw and just screeches at you guys. Combat begins. All right. Can I try and sing back at it louder in like a better – can I harmonize with the screen? Let's get to your turn. Do you know how bards work, by the way, Cass? No.

I don't think we went through your abilities. Pardon? I don't think we went through your abilities. Perhaps we should. Now would be a good time to tell you how bards do. Just in case anyone else listening doesn't know about bards. Yeah, exactly. This is for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like for monks, I mean, I get to hit some guy twice. You, though. First things first, you get spells. One of your sheets has a list of spells on it. I'm gazing upon them now. I think it's on the front sheet how many spells you actually get a day. I get three spells per day.

Yeah, so that's three first-level spells per day. And then your cantrips, the zero-level spells up the top, you get those just infinite. Wonderful. Wunderbar. Mending and vicious mockery. So vicious mockery is one where you call out something, insult them, and if you make Adam laugh, he'll usually do double damage.

As a general rule of thumb, if the insult makes me laugh, I do double damage, yeah. general rule of thumb, if the insult makes me laugh I do double damage, yeah. That's good. Any spells here that you have that you want to clarify? Now's the perfect time to ask. Yeah, so you only have the spells that have an X next to them. I believe we went through them before and you chose which ones you wanted.

Yes, so charm person, cure wounds, and sleep sound pretty straightforward. Dissonant whispers, which is not disappointment whispers, as I read. Disappointment whispers. Can I please get some clarity on dissonant whispers? Dissonant whispers is similar to vicious mockery in that you project or you whisper at a distance, whisper into someone's ear.

The whisperers, like, you know, mess them up mentally, causing them considerable damage. So you physically damage them. And it can also make them scared of you. That's great. Tasha's hideous laughter is just make them laugh till they go silly. It incapacitates someone with laughter. That's adorable. It is good.

Do they look scared while they're laughing? I think they look like they're having a good time. It's just like, you know, when you tickle someone and they can't do anything, they're laughing so hard. That, essentially. That's too much power. It really isn't. This boy's ready to fight. Noddy, you're first.

Will I use an action if I harmonize with the scream? I'll allow it as a free action, so you go for it. I harmonize with the scream in the attempt of putting him off. You do a decent job, but it doesn't put him off. Does he slit his eyes while he's screaming at least? You harmonize with his screech and he closes his mouth, turns his head so that one of his eyes is regarding you, as a bird might.

That's good. And now you're unsure what to do. After you've done your harmonize. Are we best friends with him now? I stand a bit shocked as it's not affecting him Usually my voice can shatter glass I use Tash's hideous laughter On the one with the headdress?

Ah yes The one who's turned his head to look at me Smart You attempt to mentally You know if you hear you attempt, you're like, ah. You attempt to mentally cause him to break down in laughter, but his mind is so alien to you that when you try to contact it, you have no idea what's going on.

This is when you can use your initiative if you wanted to. Oh, can I? No, not for this, unfortunately. Never mind then. Forget it. So to use my inspiration point, do I have to do it before? It's not like a. No, it's this, unfortunately. Never mind. Forget Soz. So to use my inspiration point, do I have to do it before? It's not like a... No, it's when you roll.

In this instance, he rolled. Do you have any shit ones? I've got a five. Do you want to use that? I have a vision. Fuck, that's half-arsed. This is the least arsed I've ever seen you

in a role playing game like outside of role playing games you're like this all the fucking time but like fuck you're like I mean I have a vision you know a vision has come to me that's the Jackson I know

I want to vomit a little bit oh this could be very bad for you I see a lizard I see a lizard man you went from my first D&D session to hello my name is Jackson and I like to fuck with Adam when we play D&D but no yeah

the lizard he fucks up as old man begins to tell you of her prophecy the perhaps it's maybe just the sick that she throws up but it disturbs the creature enough that suddenly it's alien mind. You find something to grab onto, like a common shared knowledge. You latch onto that and then the creature begins to laugh. Laugh.

Laugh. Gross. I give a bit of a wince. Frodi. Laughing lizards. Are lizards one of those animals that can laugh? Very unfettling. I hope not.

I feel like I've seen them laugh. I feel like I've seen someone tickle a gecko. Surely you have never seen a goanna laugh. Surely. A gecko, I think. We're not talking about goannas. No, no, no. When I was up north, I saw a guy tell a joke to a gecko and it just started laughing.

Pissing himself. He was pissing himself laughing. Oh, man. The funniest joke a gecko ever heard. started laughing. It was pissing itself laughing. Geckos love comedy. That's geckos for you. They've got sticky fingers. What's not to laugh? Exactly. Old man, it's your turn.

Chromatic orb. How's that go? What damage did I do? Did I do any damage? No, but he won't be able to attack or anything. Yeah, so... Oh, it's incapac... Oh, okay.

Yes. The way it works is, so long as you're holding onto this spell, the creature must make a wisdom saving throw on each of its turns, or it's just like this for up to a minute. If it takes damage, though, it gets a save, and on its turn, it gets a save.

So, if you want, until it stops laughing, you should probably avoid trying to hit it with damage. Just wait, leave it for last or something. No workers. Do I have to continue the spell every time? You can do other things. You can even cast other spells. You just can't cast certain other spells.

You can't concentrate on two spells at once. So another spell that requires concentration, you can't cast. I spells you can't concentrate on two spells at once so another spell that requires concentration you can't cast i think it says doesn't it on the spell it should i think uh yes concentration under concentration it has yes yeah there's a head so you can't cast the two spells with concentration at once but any other spell you can still use none of my other spells have concentration. There you go. Traumatic orb. So you hurl a ball of acid, cold energy, flames, lightning, poison, or thunder. What's going on? Oh, okay.

Or. Never mind then. It does a decent amount of damage. I'd like to fling my walking stick and fire a, let's go cold damage. Yeah. At one of the lizards. Because they're cold blooded. You know, I'm thinking like a lizard, they don't like the cold, of the lizards. Because they're cold-blooded. I'm thinking like a lizard, they don't like the cold,

they like the hot. They're already cold. Shit. No, I was in good. You did a critical. Oh! Baby girl! You deal in two-tail. Take that, sunny jib.

14 points of damage to the creature. Your ball of cold energy slams right into the side of its head, freezing half of its face, and the flecks of frozen skin begin to chip off. The creature screeches at you. Oh, yes. Very nicely done. And that's one of my two first level spells down for the day.

Good stuff. The lizard creatures charge at you. Uh-oh. They wouldn't attack a nan. Surely. Yeah. I'm aged. Yeah.

The age of the infernal. Would creatures consider that? Lizard people probably would. I wonder if bandits, though, if I'd have an up on them by being like, I'm a nano. Ain't you ever had a mother? Come on now. I imagine they would.

Yeah. Like, the honorable bandit is not going to attack a nano. Exactly. I feel like they're not going to see you as a threat. Old man, a javelin skews you through your upper torso. Oh, my God. Oh, no. You're so frail.

Oh, my God. You take eight points of damage. Don't kill her. Don't kill old man. I'm the backbone of this community. Did the javelin just go through your backbone? Oh, my community. You can get that javelin, put it down his spine,

the javelin can be his new backbone. Very simple. Done. You're so inventive, Petra. What a fucking amazing posture if my backbone is a javelin. Another one of the lizard folk reaches up to your, or gets to your horse, old man, and tries to bite you on the leg.

You bring up your leg, kick it in the face, and it stumbles backwards. None of that. None of that. Old Mam and the Gams. I'm actually wearing slippers too. Time to suffer, Old Mam's Gams.

Another one charges at you, Noddy. And it also tries to bite at you. You do a similar thing where you just bring your leg up, kick it in the face, but you don't kick it as hard as old mam did. So instead of stumbling back, you just fend off its

bite, and then it brings a giant club down on your leg. Oh, that wasn't polite. Not very nice at all. You take three points of damage. You feel a snapping sensation in your foot. Don't worry, I will break his neck for you.

Oh, I really appreciate that. The final one of them charges you, Petra. I'm going to break this one's neck for me. Just give me a second. I'll break someone's neck. As it leaps towards you, what weapon do you use? I use my fist. You lean sideways off the horse, swipe with your hand in a practiced blow. Your hand

collects it in the side of its head as sharp as a sword coming about. The creature's head snaps around. It stumbles backwards and nearly trips over a log. Then it is Petra's turn. I'm going to get down from the horse.

You hop off. And I'm going to spend a key point so I get three attacks. I'm going to smack. How many horse. You hop off. And I'm going to spend a ki point. So I get three attacks. I'm going to smack. How many lizards can I smack right now? Just the one that attacked you. Can't skip two? All right. The other one's on the other side of the horse.

Never mind. I won't spend a ki point. I'll just smack this one twice. You sweep low and it jumps over your attack. But then as you come up, you uppercut it underneath the chin and giant flecks of frozen scale and skin fly in all directions. Yeah, very weird. It's kind of great imagining like this waspy, middle-aged,

the kind of woman you might see at like a... I imagine her at a shopping center getting yogurt, just slamming a lizard in the mouth. You deal five points of damage to the creature Perfectly manicured nails And like a gold bracelet Like a couple of gold bracelets on your arm That's good Black turtleneck as well

Yes, yes You maintain your spell on the creature It's still Lying on the logs, clutching at its chest as if it's in pain. It's not. Hilarious. Laughing to them is a foreign concept and it hurts them. It's just scared.

Can I give them tummy cramps? Yes, it has tummy cramps. Is that damage? None. Yes, it has tummy cramps. Does that damage? None. If you want, you may use dissonant whispers or vicious mockery to deliver some damage.

You might also want to hop down off the horse. It's a little awkward fighting on the back of a horse. But it's safe up here. I can cast these spells. Okay, okay. I gingerly slip off me horse. You can slip off on the side with your mate Who's fighting a lizardfolk Or you can slip down onto the other side

And keep that other lizardfolk in sight I'll keep other lizardfolk in sight Alright, you slip down and you're standing next to it Spooky I might I might use my dissonant whispers At that Mr. Lizard. Spook that lizard's brain.

Yeah. Can they be a bit of disappointment whispers? You're a disappointment to your father. Are you a doctor yet? Oh, well, oh, no. Look, your gift. No, I really did like your gift. No, I did. It's great to imagine the lizard, like, flashing back look, your gift. No, I really did like your gift. No, I did.

It's great to imagine the lizard, like, flashing back to sitting around a campfire and somebody gives him, like, an old bit of, or he gives somebody an old bit of meat. They're like, yeah, it's good. But he knows. Yeah, he's like, has he had kids yet? Oh, no brood.

You begin whispering under your breath at the creature. The creature's eyes from the Go wide And it takes a step back from you Then another step Then it turns tail and runs from you You do 16 points of damage And the creature is fearful of you

Good Champion That was your turn, Noddy Old man Is there any lizards near me? Yeah, there's one fighting at you. I'll grab its throat and cast Chucking Grass. Get out of here, you scaly bastard.

Haven't got time for all these silly buggers. I was imagining you as like an old, like, drover. Like an old salt of the earth kind of Australian woman. I know. I've got a bit of like an older version of your accent. It wasn't intentional, but here we are. Here we are. I suppose I'm not quite as waspy as you.

You try to grab it, but your hand, you're just like not close enough. I'm quite short, I guess. Your hand gets nothing but air. Nothing but net. Nothing but net. It's the nothing but air. Nothing but net. Nothing but net. It's the lizard's turn. Also no net. Old man, another javelin comes your way.

Get out of there. That's a hit. Oh, no. You take six points of damage, old man. Another javelin strikes you in the chest. Full of javelins. There's javelin in old man. You are more javelin strikes you in the chest. Full of javelins. There's javelin in old man. You are more javelin than body right now.

I have a lot of javelins in me and I'm fucking frail, guys. Do I have any healing potions? No. That'd be fucking stupid, wouldn't it? No, why would we? If you're stupid for us, have healing potions. I've got a deck of cards, though. That's nice.

That's good. I've got my crystal ball. That's all right. Look, I can cure wounds. Old man, the last thing you see is the creature's open maw. Well. Naughty and Petra. The lizardfolk fighting old ma'am wraps its mouth around old ma'am's head, squeezes.

You hear a snap, a crack, and blood spurting out. It lets go and old ma'am drops like a marionette with its strings cut. Perhaps you should cure Old Mam. Yeah. When can I go? Right then. I have a very important task to attend to. One of the lizards attacks you.

Noddy. Not N the lizards attacks you. Naughty. Not naughty. Petra. I keep getting your two names confused because I'm a dickhead like that. I know. We should wear name tags. You try to punch at the creature. If you guys could wear name tags, that would be super nice. You try to punch at the creature,

but it bites your fist. Got me. You take seven points of damage. Okay, more than just a whore. That's blood. You try to punch at the creature, but it bites your fist. Got me. You take seven points of damage. Oh, boy. Okay, more than just a hole. Seven points. Oh, that's blood. That's a pierced...

You know how a crocodile does that death shake or whatever? Yeah, it does that with your hand. Stop that. Well, okay then. The creature that was fleeing from you, Noddy, turns around, has like a, wait a minute sort of moment, and charges back at you. That's its turn, though.

Wait a minute. My family love me and say I could never disappoint them. They'd be nothing but supportive. The one with the headdress. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, God.

Why do you do that so well? You're very good at doing a lizard laugh. Petra, it's your turn. Alright, so I saw old ma'am just have a bit of a tumble. So what I'm going to do now is definitely spend this key point and smack this lizard folk in the mouth several times.

Upside his own head and be like, don't you dare get in the way between me and my old man. I'm a pillar of the community. Well done. This isn't great. Will a 13 help? So. I see. The lizard folk

brings up its shield as you're about to launch into a literal flurry of punches. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, you just start hammering away at its shield. You're making all these great dents in it, and the shield starts cracking up.

But you notice as you're punching the creature backwards, you're not doing any damage to the creature. And that would be that if Old Ma'am hadn't given you that 13 So right at the end of your repertoire The creature lowers its shield To be like Don't laugh When you do that Bang!

Once in its scaly nose You're welcome You deal 5 points of damage to it It Yeah, it goes down Right, it's one down I start making my way to Old Man. With a tremendous nosebleed

rocketing blood all over the place, it collapses backwards. Nicely done. Maybe I'll just do a bit of a tumble and maybe help out my good friend Noddy over here. Alright. You move around the horse. Do a bit of a tumble underneath it.

Alright. Alright. You successfully tumble underneath the horse. Couldping her flank. You move around the horse. Do a bit of a tumble underneath it. All right. You successfully tumble underneath the horse. Good. Could have ducked. Fuck yes. Come up from a roll and you're on the other side of this lizard folk. Then it is Noddy's turn.

Noddy, you go help Old Ma'am. And I've got this one. You know what? That's a great idea. I think I'm going to take your advice, Petra. If you want to help Old Ma'am in this turn, you're going to have to take an attack of op from the lizard folk. So it gets just a free attack at you.

Not necessarily a hit, but possibly. Can I attack and move this turn so that next turn I can help Old Ma'am? If you attack or help Old Ma'am this turn, then it gets an attack on you if you still want to get to Old Ma'am. If you want, you can just get to Old Ma'am and that's your turn. still want to get to Old Ma'am. If you want, you can just get to Old Ma'am and that's your turn. I might just just get to Old Ma'am. Alright. You carefully extract

yourself from the combat with the Lizardfolk and move over to Old Ma'am. There's the Lizardfolk that bit Old Ma'am on the head who's here as well, but you just move from one fight to the other and you're ready for a fight with this one. Should I be rolling saving throws?

Well, it's your turn now, so yes. Sweet. Four. That's a fail. Oh, yes. Ladies and gentlemen, here we are again. Jackson Bailey back in his favorite place. Everything's so familiar.

All my stuff's still here. Yes! The lizard lying on the logs continues to chuckle to itself at some imagined joke, perhaps. The lizard folk chucking javelins draws its great club

and charges into the fray fighting next to Noddy. So it spends its turn. One of them spends their turn getting to you. The other one attacks you, Noddy. The one that got Petra gets you.

That's one powerful lizard. It bites you on your arm as you try to bring it up to fend it away. Brings you forward and then socks you in the gut with its great club. Oh, that's not good. I need my gut for digesting meals. No, I need that gut to just, like, pat a bit. You take 12 points of damage in total.

You start coughing up blood. Yes, I do. I definitely start coughing up that blood. Got to get it out of you somehow. Ya boys on five! The lizardfolk that you're fighting, Petra, clocks you on the side of the head. It's a blow that you weren't expecting, so it hits you particularly

hard. You take six points of damage. Oh no. What am I on? Four. Well, you particularly hard. You take six points of damage. Oh, no. What am I on, Adam? Four. Well, that's good. You girls on four. Okay. Hey, you nans on none.

No, that's true. That's why I thank our lucky stars. Let's just try and get a good creative. How many lizards are there left? Are we about to die? Petra, it's your turn. So I'm going to spend that other key point and hit this other lizard folk in front of me three times.

Smack once, smack twice, and a third. You rain, some might say, a flurry of blows down upon this creature. You grab its arm, the arm with the great club, and you wrench it to the side. You hear a snapping sound, and then bone is sticking out. You punch it once in the face, breaking its nose. You punch it once in the gut so it its nose. You punch it once in the gut so it doubles over and you karate chop the back of its neck.

Do not mess with my good friends. That's bloody great. And maybe future lover. I don't quite know what this situation is. Who knows? I have this feeling that like tomorrow if you have a new personality that will just have gone. You deal 20 points of damage in total

to the creature. It was dead when you broke its arm. Super good. Now I'm going to run over to Old Man. Alright, that's your time. Fantastic. All three of us there. Just one lizardfolk. No, two lizardfolk, I guess. No one's dead yet. We've

still got our health. And all this started out as just a little journey. Naughty. I use cure wounds on old mam's wounds. Cure my wounds. Cure my...

I worry to think what caused the blood explosion. I'm assuming like an artery in my neck somewhere it was just pushed out of your head oh gosh oh make me feel you reach down and you're about to touch old man's forehead when you think better of that and touch her shoulder there's more to touch slowly old man's head comes back together and re-inflates Jesus Christ old man you're on 10 hit points I'm unconscious though yeah

no you're conscious now oh dearie thank you very much that nasty brute had my head in his head have you got any healing spells in your bag for me old man it's your turn there's still a lizard isn't there there's two

I will send a Old man, it's your turn. There's still a lizard, isn't there? There's two. I will send a electricity ball at the one closest to us with chromatic orb. Chromatic orb? All right. You throw the chromatic orb upwards into the creature, striking it underneath its chin. The electricity ball blasts all around its head, catching it, going up into its nostrils and coming out its eyes. Oh, yes. There it is.

A lizard's not going to get eaten by a lizard today. Not today, not tomorrow, not any day. You deal 14 points of damage to it. Just eat them. You know what I think I need? I think I need a dead husband that I talk about often. Griffith. It's never too late to start.

Did you name him after Andy? Is that because we were talking about Andy Griffith just now? I mean, probably. Because I was just thinking then, being like, yeah, Griffith would never have stood for this. He wouldn't have stood for lizard paper, not in this forest, but in any forest. This is what's happening now, you know.

We've losing our queen, and it's the lizard folk that's going to run amok. It's all, it's a slippery slope. Handle's never going to take care of us, are they? So, Naughty, I've got some bad news. The lizard folk that you're fighting kicks you in the leg. You hear your femur snap, but you don't feel it. You're in this dreamlike haze of just adrenaline has prevented you from feeling whatever is happening below your neck.

That's nice. The lizard folk grabs you by that neck, begins to squeeze, and you see spots coming out in your vision. Then, thunk, once in your head, and everything goes dark. Now it is Noddy's turn to fall limp. Noddy, you are on one failed saving

throw to begin with. Because it did damage to you while you were unconscious. Or while you were already at zero. Good luck, Nods. Then, the other lizardfolk attacks Old Man. Get out of it at zero. Good luck, Nods. Then the other lizard folk attacks Old Mam. Get out of it. Get out of it.

I just came back. I just came back. I thought we killed one of them. I just came back. Did we not kill them? You've killed two, the two that attacked you and Noddy originally. Then there's the two that, the one that was throwing javelins and then charged in.

And then the one that took Old Mam down. The one that got a chromatic thing in the face., the one that was throwing javelins and then charged in, and then the one that took old ma'am down. Ah, the one that got a chromatic thing in the face. Which is one of those two. Oh, plus the one chuckling to itself. Oh, that one gets off. Oh, jeez. Who knew lizard folk would be such a hard fight? Yes.

I always have it in my head that lizard folk, I guess because they're like a basic mob in your basic RPG, like, yeah, it's like a big rat, you know, you fight a giant rat. Big rat, less fur, less hassle. So, old man. Yep. The one that you're fighting swings downwards to try and hit you. You roll out of the way, but then it bang, clocks you with its spiked shield.

Oh, the shield. Spiky? No. Bloody gonked me. Not gonked. I don't know why I looked up the damage. Every single attack they have does the same damage. You take four points of damage.

Okay, not bad. That's all right. Can our heroes overcome the lizard folk menace? Find out next time on The Last Queen of Blue Beach, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support the show, why not become a member at sanspantsplus.com

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