D&D is For Nerds - The Lonely Tower #2 The Creature Knocks

Episode Date: March 25, 2023

All’s quiet below deck. The gentle rocking of waves lapping the side of the hull, the rhythmic turning of gears as the machine man goes to work. It’s out there. Somewhere. Lightning illuminates the sky signalling the oncoming storm. A deep rumble coming from the horizon. All the while two men wait patiently in the bowls of the ship. Waiting. Listening. For the creature to knock.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. The town of Fairburn Point is nestled near the Kirkman Channel. On the other side of the Kirkman Channel is a place known only to the locals as the Lonely Tower. A imposing presence on the horizon something that people would best just forget as you leave to go back on top side bye i told him to do that Bye. Tipper leans in to Jim and says, don't trust it. Don't trust it.

I'm friendly. Jim nods and leans back and says, in the drink. Oh, no. What a fish. Once that thing's in the drink, maybe we can even just order it in. Her, the rest, an easy strangling. The rest? But wait for the signal.

Our agent needs to know when we're ready. Agent? Oh my god. I say nothing, but if I could have an expression on my metal face, it would be one of stress. Fish, you're able to very carefully thread the line of letting the sails out just a little bit so that they can catch some air, but not enough air that they tear the fucking masts off. Great.

It's not an easy job, but you're able to do it. It's very, very scary as well, because once you open it a little bit, then the wind begins catching it, which is what you want. a little bit, then the wind begins catching it, which is what you want. But that also, the wind catching it kind of tries to, the wind is trying to force the sails open at the same time. So you, once you've opened them a little bit, there needs to be constant tension. You cannot let go. Your hands begin aching.

Oh, there's tension all right. I'm stressed. This is, I mean, I've, you know, I've caught big fish before. Yeah, yeah. Not like often, but this is worse than that. Sure, sure, sure. The rain comes down heavier and heavier and heavier. The wind begins to pick up even more and more.

At a certain point, fish, you don't believe that there could be more water to rain down upon you. And yet more water keeps coming down. And then the worst begins to happen. Oh? Oh, no. Thunder kicks up water all around you. At one point, Fish, you see the thunder reaches down into the water, strikes something big, and that big creature, whatever it is,

is forced to dive even deeper as the lightning splits it asunder. At first you think it's a whale, but then when it's split asunder, you see many, many worms and you turn back to your work. Oh my God. Adam, in the hold, or in the rowing area I would like I gotta get this information to fish

I'd like to fuck okay I need to know how much like if I stop rowing will we sink if you stop rowing uh

you're not sure you have no yeah you alright I'll roll but it's with disadvantage yeah that's okay I'll take that cause you you really all like I'll roll, but it's with disadvantage. Yeah, that's okay. I'll take that. Because you really all...

Like I said, all you could see is the back of Tipper and Jim's heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have... You have vehicle's water, so I'll make this a vehicle's water check. Okay. So you're aware that you will not sink if you stop rowing, but if you stop rowing, you will you you're not like the only power but it will be very noticeable the ship will slow down very quickly yeah okay that's that's that's

fine i just need to get word to fish okay i stop rowing and i'm like maintenance error maintenance error okay so i've got some bad news there were some things that I've been misled there were some things that So Helpful had not considered you're not going to capsize but so you know how

on a wheel right you know how on a wheel in the center of the wheel there's actually not a lot of movement compared to the outer rim of the wheel. Sure, yeah. Because the inner part moves a little bit, but then the outer part, to match that movement, moves quite a lot. Yeah. So, down in the depths of the boat, Yeah. So helpful, you slow down a little bit. Uh-huh. But up on the mast, Uh-oh. Uh-huh. mast, you and Mr. Bellany slow down quite a lot.

Oh, no. The top part of the ship lurches forward. You and Mr. Bellany both need to make dexterity saving throws. Oh, I should note as well, just so that you're aware, obviously Captain Bell Barham is at the helm of the ship, but also there is, where are they, Coke and the Matrix Revolutions. Yeah, of course.

Coke would be, as a halfling, is kind of just darting around on the deck itself, making sure the rigging is all working and everything's going fine on the deck itself. And then the Matrix Revolutions is manning the harpoon gun. Cool. Good stuff. Just in case anyone was curious.

Yeah, well, you need to know where everyone is. Yeah, fair enough. So both of you are going to need to make dexterity saving throws. Okay, both of you pass with flying colors. Oh, thank God. Not only are you able to... Maybe you incorporate holding on to the rigging as well, keeping the sails where they should be.

Maybe you incorporate that into how you're keeping yourself on the fucking mast. You've kind of like lashed yourself and you're using the tension to force yourself onto the mast. So everything is hunky-dory, but you notice a very quick reduction in speed. Captain Belbarum from down below calls out, What the devil is that? Coke, check it out. The hatch to the deck opens up and Coke climbs down. What's going on? Maintenance error.

Jim and Tip are both staring at you with kind of a look of disdain, look up at Coke and give a big shrug. All right. Where is fish? You say that? Yeah. Coke looks at you and... Maintenance error. You say that? Yeah. Coke looks at you and... I get a bad boy card.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What is it? What is it? You have to say. Does that rock look familiar? The players become lost?

Ain't playing it now Just yeah Get that up your sleeve Good stuff Good stuff That's good to know Because even if we do really really well at finding It doesn't matter

It doesn't matter It doesn't matter Because we could just get lost At any second Yeah good Not only that But Coke looks at but Coke looks at you. Coke looks at you

and he begins shaking on the ladder in fear. I just continue to say maintenance, Sarah. Coke climbs back up. Alright, Fish, you see Coke run over to Captain Bell Barham. Oh, fuck. Coke runs over to Captain Bell Barham and fuck Coke runs over to Captain Belbarum

and says something to her she nods and then looks up at you fish and you can tell something bad has happened Oh no Okay I start running down Captain Belbarum points as soon as you start trying to get down

Captain Belbarum points at you and says Stay where you are, Miss Fish. But I think, as I said, it's secondhand, but I think that Chris is going off a little bit. So it's not strong, but I think that's what's happening. I should fix him. She looks down at Coke and says, Take her position. Coke starts climbing up.

Hold your position, Coke starts climbing up. Hold your position! She says to you. Come down when you are relieved! Not a moment later! That's all good. Coke takes up the rigging next to you. You can see he... Yeah, you can

see he's quite clearly spooked, and specifically at about you. What's up? What's happening? Front and center, Miss Fish! You can see he's quite clearly spooked and specifically at about you. Okay. What's up? What's happening? Front and center, Miss Fish. You climb down or are you going to talk to Coke? Be quick.

I start climbing down slowly. Like, what happened? What happened? What happened? Coke shakes his head. He refuses to respond. You can make a persuasion check to try and get him to talk or an intimidation check to try and make him talk. But that is not climbing slowly. That's not climbing.

It's up to you. Coke won't kill me. She might. I go down. That's a fair point. She fucking might. As you approach, the rat, once again, is staring you straight in the fucking eyes. And right before you get up to Captain Bell Barham, the rat turns around, still staring at you

and whispers something into Captain Bell Barham's ear. I think of cats really hard. Sorry? I think of cats. Really big ones. And I think about how I own ten cats. Captain Bell Barham leans in to listen to the rat and then kind of nods her head.

And as you're coming up to her she starts muttering something you just catch the last actually no it's raining and windy hang on I'll make obviously you're trying to listen I assume I couldn't imagine in a million years you would not

you catch just like a little snippet a little snippet of it is caught on the wind and rain and makes its way to your ears. Yes, I will keep an eye on them both. That's better than I thought. Honestly, that's better than I thought. Captain Bell Barham, when you're standing in front of her, says, you're a man downstairs.

Something's wrong. He's calling for your name. Oh, yeah, I told him to do that let's go you climb oh as you're climbing downstairs Captain Bell Barham calls out the Matrix Revolutions

you have the helm the Matrix Revolutions lets go of the harpoon gun and sprints towards the helm all right the two of you climb down and you are now you're now looking at so helpful okay how do i convey that now we need privacy perhaps your magic man could be assisted by me she says she opens on her on her belt she has kind of i wouldn't describe it as a utility belt But her belt has many pouches on it

She opens up some of the pouches And takes out a set of tools Which need Actually Fish you have no concept of these tools But Sir Helpful you have flash You have like a Narm flashback you're lying on an operating

Table or the equivalent For an iron golem The equivalent of an operating table or the equivalent for an iron golem, the equivalent of an operating table. And you can see some dwarves hovering around you with almost identical looking tools. I feel like I might be about to lose my sentience. What's he been saying? What have you been saying? Maintenance error.

I thought you told him to say that, says Captain Belvarum. Fish told me to say that I needed fish. I'm talking to fish. Thanks, sir. Helpful. I told him to call for me if he got stuck. Remember? I said he should get help.

He didn't do a very good job, did he? All right, that's fine. He called for me. I've told him that before. That's fine. I told him that. The error codes are different for everything. Your story is full of holes, and Captain Belvarum is absolutely...

This cat was! No, my story is a beautiful net, and I'm catching fish, baby! No, that's what I meant when I said That was what I meant when I said I told him to say that I told him to call for me That is true Captain Balbarum is not biased No, I can fix this

Give me a moment Captain Balbarum passes you the tools Yeah, thank you so much Okay Just catching each other's eye passes you the tools. Yeah, thank you so much. Okay. Just catching each other's eyes. She walks right behind you with a solid tock, tock,

right behind you as you walk up to Sir Helpful. When you get there, once again, in another one of her pockets, she pulls out that ruby, which she begins playing with in her hands. You can hear a subtle static electricity coursing through it. And then she picks up the rat and puts it down on one of the seats. If only we had a genuine telepathic bond.

It's very funny you don't. That's right. I'm looking at the tools. Where's like the sharpest one? You've been given a set of eight tools, I would say. So one of them is a kind of like a, it's got a hook to it, but it's also a blade, a blade that kind of ends in a hook. Then also another one of them looks like a trowel,

like a three-pronged trowel. It just looks like a trowel to you. Another one of them is just a long, thin one, which gets really thin and pointy at the end. Then two of them are just different sizes of a, some sort of like gear, with like a gear, a, what do you call them? Wrench? No, no, no, not a wrench.

Like the rolly things oh i know what you mean with spiky bits at the end oh sometimes for leather work sometimes for fucking yeah yeah i forget the name of them wheel yeah yeah kind of like a little device with a pin wheel at the end with uh various looking spikes the spikes are not uniform they're different sizes one of them is slightly bigger than the other one. Yes, there would absolutely be a wrench, maybe an adjustable one as well, and a screwdriver.

Am I hollow? Have you ever cracked yourself open? No, I don't know. I don't know what's inside me. I would say something that you definitely, I mean, I don't know how comfortable you two are exploring each other's bodies

but Sir Helpful, you have a heartbeat What? If you put your head up against Sir Helpful's chest and listen, you can hear he has a heartbeat What the hell am I? It definitely would have been a situation

in which I wanted to see if Sir Helpful could pick me up. Yeah, absolutely. I imagine there's lots of situations where I have to grab you when we run away from something. Oh yeah. Rife with them. So I probably know you have a heartbeat. But that's probably all you know about what's going on inside Sir Helpful.

This is a very tense situation right now. So what I was going to do, what I was going to do, was grab the long sharp one, the really long sharp one, find a part of him that looks a little bit cracked and open because, you know, you wash up on a beach. Yeah, yeah. I've seen better days. So, and just start wiggling it really slowly

as though I'm trying to, like, pick a lock, but what I'm trying to do is guide it through so that I hit nothing. Okay. And just find cracks. So I want to grab... I'll call that a dexterity check. Obviously, because you're not proficient with these tools,

you don't get your proficiency bonus. You do get a plus three for your dexterity. Can I help by shifting my body in the right way? All right. I will allow you to make a deception check. I'm so bad at that. To try and do that. Yeah, you are. My charisma is negative one. If you succeed, if you succeed on the

deception check, and I'll make it a DC, let's say 12. Okay. If you succeed, then Fish gets advantage, but if you fail, Fish gets disadvantage. Because Fish needs to cover up for the fact that you are obviously trying to help. Yeah.

Maybe I don't help. Maybe I don't help. Maybe it's better if I don't help. It's only slightly less than 50%. Alright, no, I'll help. I'll help. I'll help. Alright, I'll help. So your deception is negative 1, so you need to get at least 13. Actually, it's a bit less than 50%. Oh, okay. Disadvantage. Okay. Dis disadvantage okay disadvantage but you get a plus

three and you also only need to get 12 so you only need to roll at least a what's that you nine if you roll at least a nine yeah that's easy you're fine oh my beautiful you missed out on a good boy card but you're fine you're just like oh he just like, oh, he's jittery. He's just jittery. That's all. Oh, sorry. I'm poking you in his bits, you know, his gears and stuff. So what I do is I wedge that long, thin one really slowly in, again, with all the finesse of picking a lock,

trying to miss any major screw, key, bit of wood, bit of flesh. Sure. And I want to get it as far down in as I can until I can feel highs. So, helpfully, your chest pops open. I make like a strangled... You see, yeah, the big...

So, helpfully, you have like a big one solid piece of metal that forms your chest plate. That... pops open, exposing some more shifting ones underneath obviously these shifting ones they're still hardened so they still look quite tough but these ones are not as impenetrable because they're meant to move with you you can see there's some clicking whirring gears behind you can kind of see in behind them as well there's some clicking whirring gears and now that the big single chest piece has come off if you didn't know that so helpful had a heartbeat before you know he has a heartbeat now you can hear cock conk cock conk

cock conk and then you can see something red behind the gears undulate and pulse in time with the heartbeat. I'm so frustrated that I can't look. I've got to keep looking ahead. This is a crazy thing to learn about myself. At that moment, well, I'll roll for you, Sir Helpful, but Fish, you would just notice

because it's happening to you. Both of you, you spot this Sir Helpful and you notice it, Fish as you. All right, both of you, you spot this so helpful, and you notice it, Fish, as well. The rat has crawled onto your arm and is just clinging onto your clothes, and it's just getting a good look into your chest cavity. I know we have no psychic bond, and there is no crystal in your brain,

but I think with every inch of my mind, don't let the rat go in me. don't let the rat go in me. Don't let the rat go in me. The rat looks just comfortable. The rat appears to be comfortable to just look. Okay. Oh, hey, what are you doing? Who's this guy?

What's his name? If you look down at the rat, the rat looks up at you. Oh, you turn around? Yeah, I talk to him. I'm like, oh, who's this guy? You're not accomplished, spellcaster. Oh, you turn around? Yeah, I talk to him I'm like, oh, who's this guy? You're not an accomplished spellcaster You must be to have been able to work on such a creation Again, secondhand

So I didn't have to do a lot I've just been really winging it I'm going to be honest, I've been winging it And sometimes this happens But he's great I mean, I've been winging it, and sometimes this happens. But he's great. I mean, I wouldn't trade him in. His name is Little Drop. Oh.

Does he like a little scratch? She gestures. Deep drop and little drop. I give him a little scritch. He turns his head and allows you to scratch him. Oh. You're a bit special, aren't you? It's helpful watching you scratch the rat being like oh my guts are

exposed you are distracted this this could not have gone any worse when you additionally when you turn back to look at captain bell barham you can see that mr jim and mr tipper have both stopped rowing and are curiously looking at the insides of Sir Helpful. You can see, Fish, that as they stare curiously, it's more than just plain curiosity. You can see that they're thinking a lot as they stare at Sir Helpful. There's like gears chugging away in their brains. Can I see this as well? No, it's obscured by Captain Bell Barum for you.

Okay, damn. I turn around and hold the big long pointy thing. You want me to do you next? I'll do it. Jim gives you a very, well, they both give you very unpleasant looks, but Jim, no, actually neither of them say anything. They just stare at you. They give you the, you're probably quite used to this,

but they give you the look that any person of Fairburn Point gives someone that they consider an outsider. You know, they're just not straight up, I mean, obviously if you stab them, they'll respond. But short of stabbing them, they're not going to give you anything. I say, I turn to Captain Melbarum and say, tough crowd. At least the rat likes me. Went over the rat, didn't I?

I give him a scritch on the top of his head this time. He accepts that. I think seeing that this didn't work as a way of imparting the information, I just start rowing again. Chest still open. Yep. Okay. I've seen what the problem is. Okay, stop now.

I stop? Yeah. I go and tap on some of the chests and maybe wobble one of the plates a bit. Highs or lows? No, I tap on a gear. I don't tap on the heart. Highs or lows? Highs.

Oh, no. You can't reach the heart. Highs? Highs. Okay, you tap on one of the gears and then the chest plate springs back into place. You need to pull your hand out before it's crouched. There we go. Oh, that's right.

I've been told to stop. I don't start again. I don't start again. No, sometimes what happens is just look. You can see his wood. Sometimes it's the salt air. The salt gets a little bit stuck and you just need to get some airflow in there to unclog the stuff. It's good now.

It's good now. You can start again. Start again. Start again. Start rowing again. Of course. Of course, says Captain Bellbottom. Tell me.

I've never seen. She turns around and gestures for you to follow her back up to the deck. I've never seen Iron Golem with a beaten heart. Do you know what that's about? No. Again, second hand. She nods. This is for the first time. She accepts that you don't know what... She accepts something

that you've said just on the face value of it. She accepts that you don't know what that beating heart was. A curious thing indeed, she says. She gestures for you to go up first. I'm gonna absolutely be taken apart by this pirate crew.

Oh, do you give the tools back? Oh, yeah. Alright, she rolls them back up into, they came out of like a leather case. She rolls that back up and then stuffs it back into one of her pockets. They're nice. She also gestures for Little Drop, and Little Drop climbs onto her hand, and then stuffs it back into one of her pockets. That's nice. She also gestures for Little Drop, and Little Drop climbs onto her hand,

and then from her hand down her arm onto her shoulder. Made two friends this month. Yeah. That's something I say in my mind. The golden cod is tiring. It's beginning to get slower and slower and slower as its heart rate gets faster and faster and faster. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

For such a massive creature, a heart rate of this speed is simply incredible. Obviously, we don't really have that much of it because we're quite small in comparison. We don't really understand the scale of this. But imagine a heart that you could stand in going at that speed. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Fucking hell.

The golden cod's heart is moving enough blood to drown a family through the cod every second. Wow. The picture behind it gets faster and faster. It does not seem to be tiring at all. It grabs and pulls, grabs and pulls, grabs and pulls.

It gets closer for one second that instead of grabbing and pulling, it tries to reach out and grapple the golden cod. One of its many tentacles wraps around the golden cod's tail and for a brief moment, the golden cod one of its many tentacles wraps around the golden cod's tail and for a brief moment the golden cod feels it feels itself kind of shrinking the world around it begins to morph and move as

whatever this creature is it's trying to take the strength that has been given to the golden cod the golden cod though kicks once well as best as a cod can kick. But kicks once and forces itself out of the creature's grasp. It begins swimming as hard and as fast as it can, but it's beginning to slow down. But we need to kill that. I want him to live so we can get him. We got to get it first.

Back on the deep drop, you climb up onto the deck, and Captain Bell Barham calls out, Cook, stand ready to change spots again. She looks at you, Fish, and says, Resume your position. Thanks. That didn't go well. I go back.

How do I talk to? Yeah. We should have a telepathic link. That would be so helpful. Maybe we can get a crystal put in your brain. We'll see when we're back in town. So you will both need to make another roll. So helpful. So help me God.

Am I getting another level of exhaustion? I am, aren't I? Oh no. You have two levels of exhaustion. I've got to stop soon. What's the maximum you can have? Depends how you look at it. Of all the ways to die in this game, that's funny.

Getting just worked to death in the fucking bows of the ship. So, so helpful. You can see that ahead of you, Jim and Tipper are quite clearly not pulling their weight. They, at certain points, they just stop rowing. And they just aren't generating enough strength that it would have been obvious anyway. They really, honestly, they weren't really start. They weren't trying from the beginning. It's kind of been me the whole time.

Yeah. When they stop, it's not even really that noticeable, to be honest. You incur a second level of exhaustion. Yep. And that means that your speed is now halved in addition to you have disadvantage on ability checks. Okay. Good stuff.

Good stuff. Yeah. So when you said what's the maximum you can have, so there are three levels of exhaustion, checks. Good stuff. Good stuff. So when you said what's the maximum you can have, so there are three levels of exhaustion, but the six, sorry, there are six levels of exhaustion. The sixth is death.

So I don't know if you'd count the sixth as a real level. It's more like the conditioned death. I've kind of got three left, really. Yeah. Before things go really south. Meanwhile, up in the I've got three left, really. Yeah. Yeah. Before things go really south. Yeah. Meanwhile. Okay. Up in the masts, you, fish, will need to make also a really important check.

Okay. You're fine. How's fish just been surviving this? It just has been rolling better than you. I'm on a boat. This is my natural habitat. Yeah, that's fair. It's that or under a bridge, baby.

And I don't see a bridge. And then, Fish, you need to make a perception check. Okay. You spot shapes in the water. The sea here, the water here, is already quite dark. And then with nighttime, with the heavy blazing rain, it's already quite hard to see anything. Do you have dark vision? No, you're a human.

Are there lanterns on the ship? There are. There are, yes. Okay. So you are really only able to see by the lantern has at the aft and at the bow, there are a lantern. And then there's maybe one or two lanterns on either side, port and starboard. And then, oh, no, actually probably would also be a lantern, sorry,

at the base of each mast. But you are not holding onto a lantern, and there's no lantern. No lantern would survive, to be honest, up here. So you are very in the dark up where you are right now. You're only able to see by the dim light being cast by the lanterns below you. And in that dim light, you can make out in the dark sea shapes.

Four of them. They're about the size of maybe a dolphin. There's two kind of in line with the front of the ship and two in line with the back of the ship. And they're swimming, quite obviously. They're swimming not as a dolphin would even though they have dolphin size, which would be

kind of like in an up and down motion. They're swimming more like a fish from side to side. Or a shark, actually. Also moves like that. At one point, one of them crests and then goes back down in and you get a view of it. You see, it's not

like a fish, it's not like a shark. You see layer put upon layer put upon layer of hard chitinous or chitinous. I forget how to say it. Whatever. Chitinous. I don't fucking know. Chitinous. Yeah, chitinous sounds better.

Fuck you. Fuck you. In your world it's chitinous. Chitinous. I'm saying chitinous. Get fucked. I don't fucking care. It's chitinous.

Hell yeah. Anyway, it's chitinous or as heathens. Sorry? What was that? Like an insect shell. Yeah, like an insect or a crab or a lobster. You would describe it as a chitin. I was telling people I might say chitin, but they'd be wrong.

They would be incorrect. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So it's like plates. So plates upon plates, kind of like, imagine scales, but they're much bigger and they would be made out of the same substance or they would appear to be similar to like a lobster or a crab shell.

Does that make sense? Skididdley, Bob. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a butchie boy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a butchie boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a butchie boy. Yeah, so you can see that it's something like that. When it crests as well, you can see it has four limbs,

front limbs and back limbs. They come up into a point and then go back down ahead of it and behind it, kind of like a grasshopper, actually. So imagine the limbs of a grasshopper. I'm there. And then as it goes back down under the water you see a long purple tail with knobs and pokey outy bits stuff like that which comes down with it this now you don't know exactly what this creature is but this

is absolutely the sort of shit that the people of Fairburn Point typically ignore. This is, I wouldn't say that you've ever seen this exact creature but it would not, it is not the first time you have seen something and then your brain has immediately told you to forget what you saw. Okay, so I don't know what it looks like specifically but I know it doesn't look like my business. Certainly, yes. Okay.

Well, all right. Okay. You stay in your lane, we'll stay in ours. No fucking issues. No worries. All right. They seem to be following you for a little while, but then, sure enough, they peel off. That's what I thought.

Yeah, nice. Then you see a dark mass of lots of little things beneath the ship. It looks like a school of fish. But then when they surface, it's just many tiny ones of the bigger ones. This time you get quite a better look. Does it look like worms again? No, these do not look like worms. All right, I'm going to show you a picture.

Cass, feel free to describe. This is the creature. It's the same creature you saw before but it's much smaller versions of it and there's a lot of them all right getting down with the chitness so i want you to imagine that those scales the chitness adam described were made out of the skin of an of a dinosaur yes very true. It's giving Walking With Dinosaurs CD-ROM. It's also got a kind of bat-like visage, almost, in its general shape,

but then the big curly tail has this gross hook at the end that looks like a sort of slug a bit. But it does have a hook. Yeah, so I was imagining sort of like a sort of slug a bit. But it does have a hook. Yeah, so I was imagining sort of like a crab where every bit of it is made of a different bit. It's all made of that weird, wrinkly, slightly dinosaur skin. It looks like it would be really tough to get through. Like you'd need a saw.

Yes, absolutely. And yeah, when you say knobbly bits, it's more like spines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is very dinosaur. It's almost teeth coming out of the tail in a way. Yeah, it's more like spines yeah yeah this is very dinosaur it's almost teeth coming out of the tail in a way yeah it's very teeth um there's no consistency to them as well they're kind of just pell-mell coming out they're not even pointing in one direction it i the back legs also kind of fade into the whole shape of the body so and it's got no eyes either just a horrible now something something that i noticed

that you maybe aren't 100 aware of but if you notice down here where it's holding the skull on its chest it actually has two hooks which kind of function a little bit like a hand nasty stuff that's good yeah now we've mentioned it. Yeah. What we haven't mentioned is it's got two of those sideways teeth coming out. Pincers. Yeah. Yeah, pincers. It's a pincer-y animal. It is.

Honestly, looking at this now, I'm shocked it swims. Yes, me too. I can't imagine it in the water. It swims quite proficiently. Speaking, though, of swimming and then also in reference to the skull that the pitcher is wearing, in among the rabbling mass of them, a big one, one of the ones that you presumably saw earlier, moves or pushes its way through. And then with its long arms, you see it clings to the side of the ship fish. in those two little hook hands on its chest up near its head.

You can see it is holding a skull, which it moves out and then clonk, clonk, clonk, clonk. It knocks on the side of the ship. When that happens inside the ship, so helpful, you hear a... On the side of the ship, Jim and Tipper listen for a second. Then Tipper stands up, walks to the side of the ship. Jim and Tipper listen for a second. Then Tipper stands up, walks to the side of the ship. Oh, no. Oh, no. Fish, you just see the creature.

It knocks the skull a couple of times, then waits. You don't, you're not hearing. It's you, not even with a perception check. You cannot hear this over the din around you. The creature waits for a moment, then as it does it a second time, you see it kind of glances upwards, and it does not spot you, very thankfully. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Tipper gives one more knock, and then outside, you, fish, see the creature let go, fall back into the mass, and then all of the mass falls away.

If only you had a psychic imagination. Well, you actually had that crystal in your brain. I'm so sad I don't have that crystal in my brain. It wasn't an elaborate lie. Do I know what knocking on the outside of the ship could refer to? Do I have any kind of frame of reference for that hi mermaids there are a great many creatures that it could be okay i will one thing i guess specifically communicate with a person well are you assuming you're just

not assuming that it's a alien creature no no, no, no, no, no. But it's communicating with something. You, yeah, there's... It could be too many things. It could be too many things. And you don't even know if all of them are real, to be honest. Mermaids might only be a theoretical thing for you. You don't actually know. You were born sexy yesterday.

You don't actually know mermaids are a thing. It's a good point. Yeah. Okay. were born sexy yesterday you don't actually know mermaids are a thing point it's a good point yeah um okay i guess i just stay quiet but i just don't have all the pieces of the puzzle yet sure but i assume he's communicating with whoever he is also planning the mutiny with so i mean he said wait for a sign this is signee is that the sign a signal i don't know yeah i don't know either um maybe i but i don't want to stop rowing i don't want to get split open again i'll keep rowing i'll just keep rowing i'll just keep rowing all right i'm gonna get another level of exhaustion god damn it okay then you need to make

a another perception check fish all right this time it catches you by surprise, as it does you, Sarah Helpful. Uh-oh. The ship lurches forwards. What? Like it's falling. What? Whoa. What?

The bow of the ship begins dropping downwards. At first you think you must have struck something, and you have begun sinking. Uh-huh. That is your first impression. have begun sinking. That is your first impression. Then Captain Belbarum grabs a rope near where she is at the helm, and she starts pulling at it.

I would say, Fish, you can only see it, but it's so helpful. You hear ding, ding, ding. Is it ding, ding, ding? No, it's ding, ding, ding. What was three dings? She did not give you an instruction for three dings. I don't know what three dings means. I just keep rowing. I know what one ding then two dings means.

Also, no you don't. That wasn't a command either. Yeah, but it's a helpful herd, right? The Matrix revolutions! Below decks! Tell them reverse! Reverse!

Up in the mast, you need to make another perception check to actually see. All right, all right. You finally see what's happening. There is, in the sea, a, like, a bowl. A hole?

What the fuck? It's just water. It's all still just water, but it's like a big bit of the sea has just been scooped out. Like a crater in the ocean. Like a crater in the sea. And you are precariously teetering over the edge.

The hatch to above Dex explodes open and the Matrix Revolution sticks his head in. At first he looks at Tipper and Jim. Then he quickly ratchets his head around to look at you so helpful. And he screams, reverse, reverse, reverse. I start reversing.

Meanwhile, Captain Belbarum screams up at Arthur Bellany and at you, Fish. Close the sails. Close them tight. I close. All right. Both of you are going to need to make strength checks. Oh god. Good thing I'm strong. Good thing I'm not at disadvantage because I'm

so tired, right? Yeah. Right? You do pretty well, actually. Okay, thank god. Yeah, both of you do really well. Okay. Help you... Help, sorry. Fish. Fish, you grab the rope. Maybe the rope's part of a pulley system as well. You grab the rope, and instead of just trying to pull, you grab the rope. Maybe the rope's part of like a pulley system as well.

You grab the rope, and instead of just trying to pull, you grab and then let go of the mast. You begin falling, and the mast slams shut. Meanwhile, Sir Helpful, you hit full stop, and then begin slowly reversing the ship. The ship begins slowly bringing itself back from the edge. Both of you feel as the front part of the ship, the bow of the ship, begins slowly lifting itself back out of the water.

And then Captain Belbarum begins pulling on the chain again. Once again, fish, you can only see it, but down below decks are helpful. You hear it. Yeah. Bing, bing, bing. Okay, hard left. Hard port, hard port.

You begin rowing hard port. And I would say Jim and Tipper both take, they're actually properly trying now. That's good. So I'm going to say rather than disadvantage, you just roll normally. That's great. Yeah. Is it great, Adam? The ship begins falling onto its starboard side.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You need to try again? Yep. Adam, what's... What's happening? The ship is now completely on a diagonal angle. Things begin sliding across the ship.

You're going to... So, hopefully, you're going to need to make a check just to stay where you are. Oh, God. All right, you managed to hold on thankfully you've got the oar right in front of you do i think it'd be worthwhile kind of putting the because i'm quite heavy and big putting the bulk of my weight on the other side of the ship to help us tip you could try yeah yeah i'll do that if you fuck it up though you're gonna fall yeah right now you're able to

stay where you are i'll try i'll try uh yeah i'll try i'll try, I'll try Get a good boy card King of the land You manage to force Pulling yourself up along the rudder You manage to force yourself onto the port side And then Jim slips And he hits the other side But Tipper is able to stay where he is

And he keeps helping Meanwhile, on deck You're gonna need to make some important rolls. You're going to fall in the sea. Oh, my God. All right. We're going to go with Arthur Bellany first. Okay.

Arthur Bellany's fine. We'll go with Coke second. Fish, you get down to the deck just in time to see Coke fall onto his back and then slide off the side of the ship and into the water the matrix revolutions please go please go please the matrix revolutions holding onto the harpoon gun matrix the matrix revolutions is fine hang on let me just quickly note coke is dead i mean we don't know he's not yet. But none of us are diving in this heat to get him. Nah, he's gonna die. It's die, Coke.

And then Captain Bell Barham. Yeah, she's fine as well. And finally, fish. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What happens to fish, Al? You look happy because I've done well? As you're watching Coke slip into the water,

that is when your feet touch the ground and you fuck up the landing. You roll one of your ankles, cry out in pain and accidentally let go of the rigging. Good. You fall down. Similarly, your butt and back finds the wet deck of the ship. You have just enough time to think, no. And then you're sliding off the edge of the ship. All right.

You get one more saving throw as you hit the lip to try and grab a hold. Oh, thank God. You fall. You hit the side of the ship. The ship has like a railing You tumble over that As you're tumbling over you manage to Scramble around and grab

Maybe some rigging and then you swing Wide You are off the ship hanging on to the rigging Oh my god Cause the ship's on such an angle Could fish like stand up? Oh wait no you've gone in the other direction, haven't you? Your feet are dangling towards the hull.

Yeah, yeah. The ship is starboard side, is falling into that massive divot, and you have fallen off the side of the ship. You're hanging onto the rigging, and you're kind of dangling in the air. Do you look up or down? I look down. You see Coke hit the water. Oh, my God.

Well, Coke, actually, because of the angle. Coke, they skip like a stone. Down the side of the bowl? Yeah. Okay. And what happens when I look up? What do I see then? We'll get to that in a minute.

Uh-oh. Yeah, I guess I'll just keep trying to stabilize the ship. You keep trying to row, yeah. With Tipper's help, you still are just not at disadvantage. All right, you begin turning the ship so that the back part of the ship is now the majority outside of the, or hanging over the side. Everyone hears, everyone on the ship hears captain when i

say everyone i mean captain bell barham speaks and if you are in the vicinity of the wood of the ship yeah you hear this voice echoing from the ship itself captain bell barham screams release the mainsails you see mr bellamy sliding down the same way that you did, Fish, but instead of grabbing on the exact same rope, he's grabbing on the opposite rope. The sails of the main mast open up. The entire ship explosively jerks out of the hole. Okay, that's good.

So, good news, bad news, which would you like first? Good news first. Good news? You successfully get out of the hole, and you're safe from the hole. Now, you said you successfully get out of the hole. Is that... Now, the bad news is, there's actually two bad news. The first piece of bad news is that you're going to need to make another very important

check as this happens. That lurching definitely jolts you around on the rigging and you are over the side of the ship still. And also the main mast is going to be torn. There's really not much that can be done about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep. To be continued... can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favorite podcast app of choice, and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.