D&D is For Nerds - The Lonely Tower #3 The Creature Consumes

Episode Date: April 1, 2023

There are certain moments in life when you make a choice so profound that every choice that led you up to this moment and every choice leading away from this moment is insignificant by comparison. It needn’t be a difficult choice or one that requires much reflection. All that matters is a choice is made. Because once that choice is made the die is cast and the creature will consume.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. The town of Fairburn Point is nestled near the Kirkman Channel. On the other side of the Kirkman Channel is a place known only to the locals as the Lonely Tower. A imposing presence on the horizon. Something that people would best just forget. What happens to fish, Alan? You look happy because I've done well?

As you're watching Coke slip into the water, that is when you fuck up the landing. You roll one of your ankles, cry out in pain and accidentally let go of the rigging. Good. You have just enough time to think, no. And then you're sliding off the edge of the ship. As you're tumbling over, you manage to scramble around and grab maybe some rigging. And then you swing wide.

You are off the ship, hanging onto the rigging. Oh, my God. The sails of the main mast open up. The entire ship explosively jerks out of the hole. Okay, that's good. So, good news, bad news. You successfully get out of the hole, and you're safe from the hole. Now, the bad news is, there's actually two bad news you successfully get out of the hole and you're safe from the hole now the bad news is there's actually two bad news you're gonna need to make another very important check and then also

the main mast is going to be torn yeah there's really not much that can be done about that yeah yeah yeah yep yep yep all right so good for you fish manage to, as the ship jerks forwards, as it comes completely out of the hole and rights itself, you manage to use that momentum to throw yourself back onto the deck of the ship. Unfortunately, the mast is torn out of the ship, and this affects you as well below deck. Below deck's so helpful, because the mast goes straight into the bottom of the ship.

So from the bottom of the ship up, the mast is torn like a plant with its roots. Can I grab it? It's torn out of it. Yeah. I'll let you do that. Girl, let go of the oars and then reach up with my big metal hands to try and stop it going. I get a bad boy card. Oh, no.

Oh, no. The ship's going to capsize, you know. Expired. Good boy card. A player of your choice loses a random good boy card. And stop. That one. Okay.

Steady as a dwarf. Don't even care. Fuck. Gotcha. Jackson. Well, I a dwarf. Don't even care. Fuck. Gotcha. Jackson. Well, I don't want the ship to explode. That's all I'm scared about. I know you're worried about that.

You know, when you ever pull a plant out with all its roots? Yeah. What happens to the dirt that gets stuck on the roots, Jackson? So? I thought I was strong enough. So I'm going to give you an option here. You're not stopping the mast coming out Of course you weren't going to stop the mast coming out

It's so much bigger than you did But I will allow you an option So you can either stay holding on to the mast And you get one more check As you hit the top To try and keep things stable To basically plug the hole. But if you fail that second check,

I'm going to get pulled away with it. You're going to get flung. And I definitely, well, I won't drown, but... Will plugging the hole and still holding on to the mask be helpful? I mean, it'd keep the ship together a little bit. Yeah, but if I let it go,

is the ship going to be in dire straits, I guess? If the mask is pulled out, all right, to give you chances, if the mask is pulled out, you are aware enough to know that if the mask comes out like that, this ship has lost a lot of structural integrity and you will be lucky if you return

with free-floating planks like the last crew. Okay. If you manage to stick this, then you have a much better chance of surviving. Oh, God. Whatever. Fuck it. I'll say hold none. So you need to make one more check.

Oh, it's a disadvantage. Yeah, it is. I get a bad boy card. I'm going in the sea. I'm going to sink. So helpful. You grab the mast and then you go up. The mast makes enough of a hole in the deck of the ship that you cleanly pass through it.

And then you have one beautiful moment of suspended, hanging in air weightlessness. And then you can't help it. The mast is coming up with so much force that you lose your hold of it. And then you're just beautifully sailing through the air. It's a little annoying

that as you sail through the air, the heavy rain is pelting down. It's coming at you so hard. It's like you're in a car with no windscreen through the air, the heavy rain is pelting down. It's coming at you so hard. It's like you're in a car with no windscreen and the air and the water is buffeting you. You close your eyes a little bit as you sail through the air. All right. Now, Fish, a mast is falling on you.

You need to get out of the way. I would like to try. I'm still hanging, aren't I? Yeah. You get a good boy card. Hey, nice. Potion in my inventory is potent enough to confer its full benefit twice. Good thing we have so many potions!

Okay. On the bright side, you roll out of the way as the mast cleanly tears the front half of the ship in half. Oh. Should have held on. The front half of the ship, the weight, with the mast falling down, the weight of the front half of the ship becomes so much heavier. The ship begins a somersault.

I mean, it's cool. Yeah, it's cool that the ship is somersaulting, but it's also a shame because we're all going to die the back part of the ship hits the water hard thankfully even though you are 100% going to get submerged fish how?

because the boat's upside down thankfully though the back part of the ship hit the water hard, not you so the ship is upside down. The ship is upside down. I feel lucky. Thank you, Adam.

You nonetheless, though, fish, you're underwater. Okay. All right. So. Yeah. So helpful. Uh-huh. Funny, I'm kind of making this assumption I don't need to breathe,

but I don't know if that's true. I think you're correct. Okay. You got a heartbeat. Say that, Adam. Constructed resilience under racial traits. You don't need to eat, drink, or breathe. Oh, thank God.

Okay. But a little beer's allowed. Yeah, a little beer is allowed. Yeah, a little beer is allowed. You take 10, 20, 3 points of damage. Oh, my God. You pancake. Oh, fuck. You absolutely pancake.

You don't even know how far. You can't see where you came from. You have no idea how long you were in the air It felt like an hour It felt like it could have been an hour Or it could have been seconds Okay Both of you are underwater

What's your first move? Am I sinking? Oh yeah Like a man made out of stone and metal And a little bit of wood I'm not buoyant enough No you're not buoyant no no you're not um okay i guess i'm gonna try i'm gonna bring my huge metal arms down to try and

paddle my way to the surface as i plunge down into the dark bad boy card for me oh so helpful he only wants to be helpful. Now he's going to drown. Fish, what would you like to do? Now, I am a natural explorer of the coast. Uh-huh. How coast is the ocean? You can't see the coast from where you are.

Even in clear conditions at daytime, you would not have been able to see the coast. Okay. Well, I would like to swim to the surface. Okay. You surface. You can see the belly of the ship, and the belly of the ship ripples, and then climbing out of it like it was made out of water or made out of like a quicksand like material. You see Captain Bell Barham climbs herself up onto the belly of the ship so that she's standing up and out of the water. She takes out of her pocket little drop, puts little drop on her shoulder and you see her look around, put her hands on her hips and just watches her ship sinks.

Okay. Can I join her on the bum of the ship? Yeah, if you swim over she reaches out a hand and pulls you up onto the ship. In time Arthur, Bellany, Jim the One and Jim the One, Tipper and the Matrix Revolutions all join you. Okay.

Can I try and swim up again? Or from underwater, what kind of like a view do I have of the surface? You can't see anything. It's pitch dark. Oh, fuck. Okay.

You're not 100% sure you're swimming up. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that is my concern. All right. You feel, actually, you know what? You definitely have

righted yourself and you begin swimming upwards. Okay, thank God. All right, you're trying to swim, but you can't. Okay. Something moves in flaming red eyes to look around me. Something moves in the darkness. Dark moon?

You don't need it. No, I don't. It's cool you're not creaking underwater at least yeah that's true the golden cod yeah is it's tired it's hungry it's even maybe thirsty to be honest it's not had a chance to properly slow down and process the seawater that it's been swimming through it just needs something just anything to keep it going. Something glints in the darkness. Time to fight the big god.

And then whatever's chasing him. So hopefully you are consumed. You didn't even realize it was happening until it closed around you. But pitch darkness became pure darkness and then you are evacuated out of the golden cod's mouth and into its esophagus where you are being squeezed onwards i'm getting bored can i fight back you could. I'm just going to start pummeling, Adam, from within. I'm just going to start beating the shit out of the golden cod from inside it. Oh, no.

All right, your first attack is a hit. Your second attack is a miss. I assume you've not taken out your shield. No, I didn't. Yeah, not really. It's not been really my priority. You deal nine points of damage to the golden cod okay and the golden cod continues to digest you you are forced further

down what would you have me do fish there's nothing else you can do but killing this cod is the worst thing you could do because then you get double it You get vored twice You take 8 points of damage You take 8 points of I'd say bludgeoning damage You don't have any resistances do you? To being vored? No We didn't put that in there We should have predicted this

By the way you're in pitch You can't see anything This is a fucking nightmare You're in some space It's big enough that you could crawl around, but not so big that you could stand up. As soon as you enter this space, you hear, and then you smell like an awful bile and also burning.

You bring your hands up, and you realize your hands are being melted away. You are in a stomach. What would you like to do? Okay. Hey, I'd like to attack again. Uh-huh. Now, Adam.

Yeah. Tell me how this ability of mine would work in this situation. Please, please. Once per turn, when you hit a creature with an attack that deals bludgeoning damage, you can move it five foot to an unoccupied space. Can I punch the cod up? I'll allow it. Oh, wait, is there a size limit for that?

I don't know. What's the ability called? Crusher. Oh, there's no size limit. Oh, provided the target is no more than one size larger than you. And do we reckon that counts? Did you say there's one size? I'm sorry. Okay, I'll'm sorry I got no other option then

I'll just keep trying to fight my way out Just try and tear open the cod from the inside Well actually hang on I'm in its guts right I'm not going to try and tear out of the cod I just want to tear the lining of its stomach Let's get some of this acid Into other parts of its body

Okay okay You hit twice. You deal a further six, seven, eight, nine points of damage to the cod, and I'd say you've given it a pretty bad ulcer at this point, but that's

really all that you're worth so far. Okay, cool stuff. You take six points of acid damage What am I on out of curiosity? 7 What would you like to do? That's awesome

I'm just going to go for broke You look like you've made a tear When I say an ulcer For the golden cod It's just an ulcer But for you, it's like you can get your head through it. Okay. All right.

I'm going to just pummel again with my fists. And maybe I'll action surge and do it twice. Okay. Hit, miss, hit, hit. All right. So that's three hits. I should have picked something other than champion. Would you like to, by the way, you've got second wind.

Would you like to use that as well? Yeah, maybe let's use second wind too. I'll burst my way out of this cod one way or the other. We'll do second wind first. You recover 14 hit points. Okay. Hey, that's not so bad. And then you deal 9, 10, 17 points of damage.

You rupture, you tear a giant hole that you can step through the cod's stomach. You are in just its, like, guts now, and you can hear its stomach acids falling behind you. This is so gross. This is the grossest fight I've ever

been in. The golden cod feels so sick. Maybe it'll throw me up. The golden cod begins slowing down almost completely stopping in fact no it does come to a complete halt and when it comes to a pure pain like something strangling around its throat and then forcing its way down into its stomach and then when it gets to its stomach the giant cod has a brief moment of uh and then as something feels so wrong the giant cod wishes it had the capacity to vomit but it only has that thought for but a brief second before the creature catches up uh-oh

doesn't want me it wants wants the cod. So helpful. Yeah. You find your confines begin pushing against you. Oh, fuck. You predicted this, Cass. I'm getting double-vored. This is someone's dream. The creature has found the golden cod,

and its tendrils wrap around it, constricting it. The golden cod cannot fight back. It is trapped. As it begins to get smaller and smaller and smaller, as this creature is draining its essence from it, as the golden cod gets smaller, it begins to realize it has some sort of, like, a kidney stone that is remaining the same size as it gets smaller. So, Helpful? Yeah? kidney stone that is remaining the same size as it gets smaller so helpful yeah you take 10 points of crushing damage oh god and then you explode out of the golden god when it gets to be smaller than you oh Oh my God. You look around. All you can see is darkness

all around you, but then the darkness moves. Oh, fuck. You hit the ground. You are as far down as you can get, but looking up, you think you can see the surface. Okay. Okay. The

darkness, though, does it seem interested in me? The darkness? No, it's darting away. Okay, I'm going to start swimming then. I'm going to try and swim once again for the surface. Okay. Fighting against my own bulk. Meanwhile, on the bottom of the deep drop, what's left of the crew sit down. Captain Belbarum is chatting to Arthur Bellany. Captain Bell Barham is chatting to Arthur Bellany.

They're kind of as private as they can be right now, having a hushed conversation with themselves. Jim and Tipper are sitting off in one corner, also kind of as far away from the other two and as far away from everyone else, actually, as they can be. And you can see they're having kind of a hushed conversation. The only person next to you is the matrix revolutions he is standing up he's got like a blanket that he's recovered but the blanket's soaking wet he's wrapped that around him just trying to get anything on his frail form you can see him How you doing? Doesn't look good.

It's all right. I start doing the arm rubby thing. Is this helping? Oh, you're doing it to him. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He turns around and maybe a little too familiarly leans into you heavily to try and share body warmth. You could be fish revolution.

I remove the wet blanket because I'm sure it's not doing anything. It probably would be doing something. Actually, Jesus, yeah. I get under the wet blanket and start. He maybe returns the favor to you. I'm going to have the toastiest backs and nothing else. Can I eavesdrop? On which conversation?

Captain. You attempt to eavesdrop on Mr. Bellany and Captain Bell Barham. You are unable to do so. As you turn your ear to try and listen, the conversation just ends instead. And Captain Bell Barham addresses the group. Normally it would be custom for the captain to go down with

the ship. But I think in extreme circumstances such as these perhaps the gods will forgive me this one time. There is, we have but two options. She gestures into the horizon.

It's still howling wind and raining heavily. She gestures into the darkness. We can attempt as best we can to make our way back to land. Or she gestures in the complete opposite direction. Everyone turns to look and you can't see the Lonely Tower. It's black upon the black of night. Save for a single light up at its very top. Often used to guide ships and to ward them away from the Lonely Tower itself.

But now it sits as a beacon, the only feature in the darkness. We can make our way for the only land around. Now, I can, after a fashion, move the boat slowly with magics of my own, but I haven't the magics I think to get us to shore. The Lonely Tower is almost certain death, but so is the dark unknown ahead of us. Do I know about the Lonely Tower? Yeah, you know of it. It's said that if as a child you were especially precocious and you simply refused to listen to people when they told you not to talk about the Lonely Tower, you would have been given the response of just like a hand wavy, a necromancer lives there.

A powerful ancient lich, a magical entity beyond our understanding lives there and does not bother us, do not rock the boat. So our options are go to a place, present a body to a man who needs bodies, or go home. You could try for home. I put it to a vote, she says. What's everyone else voting?

Well, everyone else voting? Well, everyone else is having a moment to consider. If need be, we can make it a private affair, but I think perhaps that would be a little exaggerated.

Surely we can all come to an agreement. Jim and Tipper stand up and present a united front jim jim the one says i ain't going i ain't going uh into certain death the tower is the only way to go tipper nods i i i i thought it was all certain death j Jim the One looks at you like you're a child to be told off and says the tower is the only feature.

If we head back, back the way we came, we'll die for certain. We don't even know where we're heading. We just know a vague idea of the direction. Can any of us even be certain that's the way home, he says. Fair point, I guess. You know, why not

know how you die? Alright! You're voting to go to the Lonely Tower as well? I'll go to the Tower. The Matrix of Revolutions, the youngest of your party, takes a couple steps back, shakes his head. He clearly doesn't want to go, but it's one, two,

three, and then the captain's vote doesn't... Yeah, you clearly outvote everyone else. The captain nods slowly. She doesn't make it clear which way she would have preferred necessarily, but she steps up to the back of the boat, puts both of her hands on the back of the boat, and

then you just begin moving towards the Lonely Tower. I keep hugging. The Matrix Revolutions are doing the little arm thing to warm them. Okay. I reckon it'll be okay. I mean, we didn't even have enough. We couldn't have even gotten back the other way, you know? At least this way we get somewhere.

No, no, no, no, no. He just mutters it to himself over and over and over again, shaking his head. I mean, it's just a person who lives there. What if they're nice? I say that not believing it. You do a decent job of lying. Oh, that's good. So helpful.

Yeah. You manage to, oh, I guess you don't make that noise. I silently emerge from the water. You, yeah, silently surface. Yeah. You are, immediately you have something to grab. It's not wooden, though. It's rock. You, grabbing onto rock,

look up, and you realize exactly where you are. So the Lonely Tower is... Imagine a tower... Well, actually, you don't know exactly what's on the other side of the wall. But the wall is not on ground. It's more of a sea wall. So the rock face, it goes down into the water. But the wall is not on ground. It's more of a sea wall.

So the rock face, it goes down into the water. Above water, it's like a proper paved stone wall. But below, it's just rough-hewn rock as far down as you care to investigate. You just look down at rough-hewn going way down into the eventually darkness. And then you are kind of where, yeah, where the rough hewn rock meets the well-made rock. There's a little bit of a lip or there's enough space where you can stand. Okay. I, having been born sexy yesterday,

I don't know like a great deal about the tower. Nobody really talks about it, do I? Do I sense anything from it being myself animate magic? You look up and then you hear an incredible deafening noise behind you. Something immense launches itself out of the water. Oh my God. Am I doing like a free willy? You look around and you see it looks like a central, a bulby circular object with infinite tendrils.

And when I say infinite, I mean literally infinite tentacles. Oh, it's getting fractal. Coming off it. As it soars over your head, it opens and you realize that central space is one big eye. And then as it moves, you can see attached to the eye is a beak. Oh. It launches itself clear over.

Do we kind of lock eyes as it goes over me? We lock eye. Excuse me, excuse me. It looks down at you and then, yeah, you, for a brief moment, lock eye. And then it lands on the other side of the it lands on the other side of the wall okay well i know there's land within this seawall right like there's the lonely tower and whatever it's built on top of there yeah yeah well you're not sure exactly what's on the other side though okay well look i'm gonna climb it's better there than

just here on this kind of precarious rock wall. Can I clamber over the actual wall itself? Climbing the wall is actually a surprisingly easy affair. As you climb, you kind of, you're not sure if you came to this conclusion yourself or if this was maybe actually some magical compulsion, not compulsion, but a magical effect. But as you're climbing,

you come to realize that this wall does not exist to prevent people from accessing. The wall cannot actually stop. As any normal wall, you can climb it. You could climb any wall. The wall does not exist to stop you from getting in. What the wall exists for

is more of a contract. You must purposely make this choice. By climbing this wall, you, in the back of your mind, understand that whatever happens, you have chosen. Okay. Okay. Well, too late now, I guess. Okay. Cool.

Meanwhile. Yeah. Cool. Meanwhile, yeah. Fish, you, as the boat moves, you can hear coming from the back of the boat where Captain Belbarum is.

The rat is Captain Balbarum is on their hands and knees With their hands just on the wood And their eyes closed The rat is kind of standing in front of them Standing, Quidditch remarks, just in front of them And appears to be in Almost like a defensive position

Like they're protecting the captain From the rest of the crew Is it magical noise that I'm hearing? Can I discern that it's like the sound of magic? No, you can't tell. It's coming from where Bell Barham is but you can't tell exactly what it is. It sounds like it's beneath or next to the ship or with the ship. Something's making that noise. I want to look and I absolutely do not want to get close to that rat. That rat will bite. I want to look and I absolutely do not want to get close to that rat. That rat will bite.

I want to get us, I want to look and inspect. But I don't want to know the rat. The rat moves as you walk towards the back and prevents you from getting to the back. You'll have to try to step over the rat. No, no, absolutely not. Fair enough. No, that rat scares me. Yeah, I'd do exactly the same. I want to be friends with the rat, but I know the rat probably could kill me with its mind. If you then back off, the rat

returns to its original position and has kind of like a self-satisfied look. You made the rat smug. Oh no, I'm making a smug rat. Alright, eventually the boat hits up against the wall. It is the same for you as it was for when Sir Helpful, you arrived there. Sir Helpful, you climb over the wall. Well, actually, I'd say you get to the top of the wall. When you can see a little bit around the wall, you can see the ship, what's left of the ship, with people on it, knock up against the wall.

Now, on top of the wall, beyond just being able to see the ship, you can see over to the other side. There is no solid land. There is water, a massive ring of water, and the tower just sits kind of almost atop it. Does the tower seem like it's on

some kind of rocky outcrop in the water? Or does it seem like the tower maybe goes all the way down to the bottom of the ocean? The water on this side of the wall is perfectly still and pitch black. You cannot see anything beneath it. I know I've sort of signed my name by crossing the wall, but do I have a compulsion to go over the wall or you don't have any particular compulsion okay i'd like to then walk i'm like on top of the wall right now yeah yeah i'd like to just walk to where the boat is you walk to where the boat is you everyone sees are helpful walking along the wall when that happens jim and tipper begin leaning into each other they there's just a really brief

exchange like jim says one thing to tipper and then jim and tipper walk towards the rest of the group where the captain has released their spell and you are all reconvening on the ship jim the one points at you fish and says she says, I think she did this. How? I don't know, but her and her damn beast up there. They both, Jim and Tipper, look at the captain who looks over at you. What say you to this claim? I can't help but looking a bit proud.

You think I could do something like that? She led us here. She led us here on purpose. When? Wait, here what? Here to the tower. I was agreeing with you. For some fell magics, I suppose.

I was agreeing with you. You said this. You said the tower was good. You said the tower was good. There was no other option, they say. Have I arrived? Yeah. Cards on the table. I am alive. Liars! Look at

them both! Liars! These men, I'm speaking to the captain, were conspiring mutiny in the hold. Accusations. Accusations from perhaps the real mutineers. This one knocked on the wood.

I don't know why. Knocked on the wood? He went knock, knock, knock. And then there was a knock, knock, knock. And then he returned the knock. You're pointing to Jim? Yeah. Tipper, you see anything like that?

Tipper shakes his head and says, no, but I do recall hearing knocking behind us. He is in on it, obviously. Knocking? Oh, I actually saw some knocking when I was on the mast. I described those chitinous creatures. Chitinous creatures. Yeah, it's chitinous. Yeah, it's chitinous.

There is no alternative that we will consider. I described the chitinous creatures that I saw knocking on the side of the boat. Yeah. The captain looks around at the rest of you and eventually puts up both of her hands and says, Enough! I'll hear no more of this. Whatever has happened has happened so far. I have just as much reason to suspect anyone here of being a

mutineer or worse. For now at least our objectives are the same. To survive. And that we will do. Standing on the wall, on the sea wall, you look into the tower and then

out to the empty expanse of nothing that goes infinitely in kind of all directions. You have really no idea where even land is. Captain Balbarum looks around and once again, it is still absolutely pelting down with rain. It feels more and more like you are underwater rather than in rain. The wind is blowing at you hard. All of you are kind of struggling to remain standing. The Matrix Revolutions looks...

You forgot for a second. I forgot. I forgot. You forgot about the Matrix Revolutions. I forgot. The Matrix Revolutions is shivering heavily, and both of you spot that his face has begun taking on kind of a bluish tinge. Oh, no.

I recommence project rub that guy's arms. How warm am I as a guy? Not at all. Okay, I stay away from him. I'm chilly, I guess, to the touch at the moment. You're wet wood. Oh, actually, no, sorry. Wet wooden metal.

No, I'm so sorry. That's actually completely incorrect. You absolutely feel the cold. Oh, no, sorry. I meant how warm am I to the touch? You would be a little warm. I mean, rapidly losing it. But yeah, actually, you would be absolutely a little warm to the touch.

You feel the chill and you, like you were human, you would also be quite like, oh, I'm quite cold. Yeah. Actually. Okay. I was wondering if I could help warm up the Matrix Revolutions. But I mean, you're further body heat, I suppose. Although you're not 100% sure where that body heat's coming from.

Yeah. You can make a little Matrix Revolution sandwich. Yeah. Rightio. I'll sort of up behind him and then maybe pick him up in a little bear hug to warm him as fish warms him from the front or vice versa whatever end of the Matrix

revolutions you want I mean it's a revolution it'll come back around Jim the One looks at Captain Belbarum and then at the Matrix revolutions and says we got to get inside all of us need to be inside

now or we'll freeze to death. Okay, yeah. Neither of you notice. Well, I am deeply suspicious of this guy anyway, but he's right. It's either that or try and die of exposure on the seawall.

It doesn't really seem like there's choices, right? Yeah, the Matrix Revolutions is definitely the worst out of your entire group, but the two of you as well are feeling the cold, and I mean, to you, so helpful, you don't know what death is, really, but you feel like if you were to stay out here in this weather I would stop. You would soon discover what death was like. All right, I'll turn to fish and be like, fish on shoulders, and then I'll start swimming.

If you want to climb, I'm big, so if you want to climb on me and I'll swim us across to the tower. You do so. You wanted me to say, God, sorry. do so. You wanted me to say God's sorry. Tipper and Jim the One both managed to get

themselves across as well. Oh, I forgot. Arthur Bellany. Mr. Bellany is also here. Mr. Bellany and Captain Bell Barham make their way across as well. When all of you get to the other side, there is similar to the wall. You can see that there is rock beneath the tower that

extends deep down below you wonder what it must be like in that black it's quite the water is incredibly incredibly uh yeah dark it does not look it does not look like regular ocean water and it is also very still almost weird yeah Yeah, almost flat, in fact. It doesn't even look like the wind is really properly touching it. But you have a brief moment to consider what is down in that space, in between the wall rock and the tower rock. You get to the tower, and there's enough space that you can kind of stand, and you begin feeling your way around the tower,

trying to search for an entrance. Yeah, are there obvious doors, or...? Well, we'll get to that in a moment. Okay. Additionally, Fish, as you around the tower, trying to search for an entrance. Yeah, there are obvious doors or... Well, we'll get to that in a moment. Okay. Additionally, Fish, as you climb the wall, not unlike Sir Helpful, you also, as you're climbing it, you're not sure if it's some sort of magical message

being projected into your mind or if it's just something that you come to the realisation of. But it becomes quickly apparent that this wall actually would not... Like any wall, it's not really going to stop someone if they're determined enough. They will climb over it. This wall does not exist to actually keep people out. It exists more as a contract. You have crossed a threshold and you have made a decision. This is your own free will. You're here because you chose to be here and whatever happens

is your fault. Oh no. As you search for an entrance, it takes maybe an hour to do a complete circumference of the tower. It's quite big. While you're doing that, high that high high high

above you up in about as high up into the tower as one can be before they must force themselves from this realm of existence the creature that dwells within the tower the creature that owns the tower sits or stands it's hard to say. Once, long ago, it was like you. And it can, it is vaguely aware that several humans and some other creatures are at the base of the tower. It tries to remember if it was once human. It might have been human. Or it might have been lizard folk. It can't remember the difference anymore.

Anyway, it has visitors. The visitors are, of course, in danger. As anyone who comes to the Lonely Tower is in danger. The entity begins to pull itself back in, collapsing itself down from its many, many, many folds, the many dimensions that it exists within. It collapses itself back down from a near-infinite number down to four, three, two.

How many dimensions is the material plane again? It can't remember. It looks around at itself. Its head gives way to its neck, which gives way to shoulders, arms, legs, shoulders, arms again. It's many, many eyes. Hair, perhaps? What was hair again? It can't remember. How many dimensions is it again? It can't remember. How many dimensions is it again? It can't remember. Hmm. Its visitors are in trouble. It needs to figure this out.

Okay. You get around the tower completely, and there is no obvious entrance. That's sort of a worry. That's sort of a worry. But as you're investigating, Fish, you begin to realize that there is something more to this tower than what you originally saw. There is absolutely some extra element. Perhaps it's magical. You're not 100% sure. But as you walk around, it feels like sometimes you look and you can see the tower stretching in a direction it shouldn't be.

And then you kind of like snap your eyes and the tower's back where it should be it feels like for brief moments you view the tower in a dimension that it should not stretch into like width height and depth had an extra fourth element and sometimes you get to see that fourth element like if a like if a cube could be made even more cube. Can I recognize this on Fish's expression? Yeah, Fish looks very disconcerned. You can see as well, Fish, you're way too distracted to notice this, but Captain Bell Barham, you would notice this, Sir Helpful.

Captain Bell Barham also, if Fish looks in a direction, Captain Bell Barham also looks in that direction. But instead of worry, you can see she's considering things. Although when she turns, that causes kind of like the same thing for you as well. She turns her head to look at a dimension that you can't see. And that is like seeing the shadow of something you can't see. Okay. I imagine my like fiery burning eyes, like eyes just sort of dim for a moment.

I'm like, huh? And then they light up again as I process that. Fish, okay. Yeah. Okay. What? I don't know. Captain Balbarum, okay?

I found the door, she says. Wall is blank, a gesture to the wall. As far as we're aware, you're aware with your vision, there is no door. but I see the door well enough, she says. She reaches out her hand and her hand disappears up to her wrist. You hear a clicking noise and then she steps to where her hand was and she just completely disappears. Follow my voice. Actually, perhaps her hand reaches out from nowhere. Grab my hand.

I'll lead you in. Is safe fish? I mean, surely, right? So helpful doesn't know. She wouldn't kill herself. So helpful doesn't know. Jim the One and Tipper immediately, both of them, get a good boy card, Sir Helpful. Yes, I'm so rich.

You're, once again, Fish, you're like, what the fuck is happening? What am I looking at? You're so distracted. You, Sir Helpful, as you have not yet seen it. Your mind is basically just not fucked up right now. And so you are able to see quite clearly on Jim the One and Tipper excitement. They're very, very excited. Both of them immediately rush for the door and Captain Belbarum helps them in. Does that mean that I'm privately out here with fish?

No. Arthur Bellany is also with you and so is the Matrix Revolutions. But Arthur Bellany wasn't downstairs with me, was he? That was just Tipper and Coke. No, Tipper and... Tipper and Jim the One. Tipper and Jim the One, that's right. R.I.P. Coke.

R.I.P. Coke. Arthur Bellany looks at the two of you and says, Best you be making for the captain. She knows what she's doing. Okay. Tipper and jim suspicious too excited you hear from where the captain's hand is yeah we can still hear you how could i have known i just feel like it's best that you know no, says Captain Bell Barham. I have made suspicions clear already. This not new news.

All right, I'll step inside. You take the captain's hand and they drag you forwards. Maybe as they're dragging you forwards, duck your head. And, well, you can't move it in that. She puts her hand on your head and then moves your head in a dimension you don't know. Oh, no. Deeply unpleasant, but also I was bored sexy yesterday, so I'm like, maybe this is normal. You are, well, we'll get to you in a second, but you're standing in one, several rooms?

Hard to say. Okay. Fish, are you coming with? Yep. All right. Captain Bell Barum helps you in as well Thankfully you're not nearly as tall So she doesn't need to move your head in a direction that you have just begun to perceive

Good, really happy with that Alright, and then Do I see my good friend's head go wrong? No, you probably wouldn't have noticed that Because he was stepping through the doorway as it happened He slipped into a dimension that neither of you can see. Man, putting your head in a dimension you can't see, that's fucked up.

Anyway, everyone enters. Mr. Bellany and the Matrix Revolutions follow soon after. You're standing in it looks like some sort of atrium or entrance way. You can see there is a long corridor and then it extends

upwards like it ramps. Like a slope. Yeah, it slopes upwards. There are columns all along this room. Also, it is way larger on the inside. You'd realize almost immediately. It sort of extends upwards. There's columns running all along it

and there's on either side of you many, many alcoves. The alcoves have plinths where a statue should sit, but there are no statues on the plinths. There's a deep purple carpet that runs the length of the corridor as well. And you can see ahead of you. It's unpleasant to think about, but you can see ahead of you. As the corridor extends upwards, there is... So it should go out of sight.

Yeah. But you can see the end of the corridor. Oh, no. And you can... This is so much to take in. And you can see a set of double doors at the end of that corridor. In addition, either side of the double doors on the side walls, once again, this should curve away upwards, but you can still somehow see the end of the corridor.

You can see two doors on either side. All three of these doors, the double doors and the other two sets of doors, they're made out of some black stone with diamond handles. Are we cold still? diamond handles. Okay. Is it, are we cold still? You step inside and you're still chilly, but then Captain Bell Barham closes the door behind you. You don't see the door close.

You just hear it close. And when it closes, the wind dies down immediately. You don't feel super warm, but comparatively you feel quite warm, shall we say. Huh. Is it worth having a rest, I say? Captain Balbarum nods slowly. Perhaps it would be behoove us to indeed rest.

Is there anything I can tear off the walls or whatever to light a fire with? Tear up some of the rug and kind of pile it? You could try that, yeah. Yeah, all right. I'll tear up some of the rug. I don't know if I've got a flint and steel, probably uh surely bits of you are flinty or steely yeah exactly surely i can just yeah i got a tinderbox so i'll tear up some carpet and try and light a fire for everybody okay yep you're successful okay you tear up a bunch of carpet you pile it

up because the room is quite big yeah it like a carpet obviously doesn't burn very well but you just get a lot of carpet yeah sure you tear up the carpet make a pile and you start a fire while that's happening captain bell barham gestures to mr bellany and tipper and she says explore to the end of the corridor let us know if there's anything in the nooks and crannies. Then she gestures to Jim the One and to you, Fish, and she says, Explore the side corridor over that way. You see no side corridor. And if I was to, if I were to venture off to the side corridor, I would go, I like hover a foot out and start pointing it.

Forgive me. Sorry. She takes a little drop off her shoulder, hands it to you, hands him to you, and says, he'll lead the way. Follow the rat. All right. If you need to speak to me, depending how long that corridor is, if you need to speak to me, the rat knows how to get a message. Coolio. She looks at all four of you,

Fish, Tipper, Jim the One, and Mr. Bellany. Well, she kind of really doesn't look at Mr. Bellany. She trusts him. But she looks at you three and says, I expect you to be on your best behavior. Don't have any other kind. I've separated you into such a group that ensures neither of you

should be able to plot should any of you be traitors no traders here i put my hands up to the side of my head she nods slowly she seems content that the piece is being kept currently then she turns to the matrix revolutions and while you're making a fire so helpful she is just trying to warm him up maybe she tears up some carpet as well and uses that make yeah towel him off or whatever all right it's ruining this person's house yeah it's very funny um little drop kind of squirms a little bit like to be let down oh sorry here you go you place little drop on the floor he gives a little squeak and leads you in the direction that you need to go. Now don't go too fast. If you vanish, I don't know how to find you.

And I don't want to find you with my foot. Little drop. I was about to call him little squeak. Little drop. Aw. Yeah, cute. Little drop wanders over to one part of the wall and then he just walks through the wall. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

He comes back. Okay, thank you wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He comes back. Okay, thank you. I follow him. All right. He very... Jim the One keeping up? Yeah, Jim the One's walking right behind you. You can see, if you look back at him,

you can see he's got one hand on his scabbard and then the other hand on the hilt of his weapon. He's not drawn it. He just looks ready for a fight. And he is, with his incredibly scarred face, he looks you up and down when you look back and gives you a little nod like, like, you're right.

I extend my hand so we don't get lost. Jim the One looks back at the captain, who's not too far away, and then takes your hand. Which, is it scabbard or sword that he's giving up? He gives you the hand. One hand is still on his scabbard. The other hand that was on the hilt of his weapon,

he presents to you. It's like a Taylor Swift lyric. Okay, let's go. All right, you pass through. You're not using Adam. And to be fair, Jim the One, are both suspicious of this maneuver. Are you doing anything? Was this just...

No, it's so I don't get lost. Okay, cool. No worries. You step through to the... The rat disappearing was bad enough. Yeah. Fair enough. There's truly no plot there.

All right. No, that's fair enough. Going through dimensions, it seems risky. I was wondering because Cass, you asked about the which hand is it? I was like, are you trying to keep his hand away from his weapon? I just felt

it would have been a very Cass move for you to be like, I cast Witch Bolt as we step through. And then to be like, oh, sorry, I got a buzzer. It's a joke buzzer on my hand. That's a joke spell. It doesn't count, you know. If you got hurt, that's your fault.

It does 1d12 points of joke damage. Thank you. To be continued... Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot,

where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.