D&D is For Nerds - The Search for A'Helm #4 Enter Pirrin

Episode Date: March 17, 2018

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and let's all have a laugh about a Star War or the terrible things Ash does to a Pikachu or whatever. For information on times and where to grab tickets, just head to sanspantsradio.com slash live to grab your tickets today. Kisses. Welcome to Episode 4 of The Search for a Helm, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. Podiatry.

The town guard begin to advance on you a little menacingly. I want to point out to the town guard that if they raise their weapons against me, they're raising their weapons against their king and god. Curious man. I got the money for it. Don't call me king. They're raising the weapons against their king and God. You're a curious man, Dickman. I got the money for it. Don't call me Dickman. Just the attentions of a young damsel,

and then it gets the blood flowing. Then when I get back to her, Please, stop that. I remember what it's like to make love, you know. Hey, Nimue. All the hay you can eat for a month provided by the male horse's dad. Dad? Yes?

In your noble travels, have you come across this coin before? Not this coin specifically. Dad. Dad, was that a dad joke? Did you just... Oh my gosh. A dad joke, dear.

There is a great, tremendous evil upon this place. The veil here between the material plane and other planes of existence is thin. The evil threatens to burst the veil. So, you finally arrive at Jones's Bluff, or what's left of Jones's Bluff. The city has been just destroyed. There's no people left here anymore and the Orc and Goblin hosts, when they came through, they didn't leave

much. You take, between their attacks, 41 points of damage. Oh God! Dropping you to one hit point. Oh, jeez! No! Tiffany, the gnolls menace you, scoring hit after hit after hit. So, Hector, things aren't doing much better for you.

And the two facing you, the big one and the other one with the sphere, launch into a similarly dazzling array. You simply can't keep up with them. And any time your guard is lowered, even for a moment, jab or bite or slash or something. The big one doesn't fight with a weapon. It fights with its claws and with its mouth. And it's fast.

Very fucking fast. You take 25 points of damage. Man. And they've not even touched me. Maybe I'll just go. Who do I save? Hector, who kind of bugs me. Hector, not even touched me. Maybe I'll just go. Who do I save? Hector, who kind of bugs me. Hector, it's your turn.

Or my daughter, who I'm not a super fan of. Right. Bonus actions. Oh, wait. It does not pass the constitution saving throw. I'm sure I secretly have a lot of affection for you. It takes four points of damage further from simply being on fire. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

And then it's, yeah, then it's your turn. Sorry. Right. How do bonus actions work? Can I, like, do a bonus action, attack, bonus action, attack? You get an action A bonus action And an interaction on your turn

I'm going to use a magic weapon as my bonus action So I have My sword becomes a plus one For an hour So if I ran Past these guys To try to attack the ones that are You're fighting next to her

Alright Alright Okay cool Alright I'm going to try and attack the ones that Attacked my good friend Tiffany You take a step closer to Tiffany To try and partially just to comfort her

In like you know This dire situation And also to, like, for functional reasons, such that you're within reach of the two creatures attacking her. You swing. Plus, if you die, I can heal. Hey, true. That is all right.

Or you can heal me if I die. Yeah. Swing your blade. Oh, that's nice. Plus one. Plus one. Plus one. Adam, did you hear? Did you hear this plus one? Did you hear what it that's nice. Plus one. Plus one. Plus one. Adam, did you hear?

Did you hear this plus one? Did you hear what it is? It's plus one. Take the score and then put a one on it. You step onto the corpse, the long dead corpse of a villager, and your feet sinks into the marshy chest. The odd squelching sound, the awful feeling of it all, and the unbalanced nature that that gives you

simply puts you off your combat. And while you attempt to go through a combat routine that you were taught in your youth, you simply can't remember it properly right now. And your practice swings simply look like a child fumbling with his father's sword. Grace. Hey, how you doing? I'd like to step in between my daughter and the hyena.

You simply can't. There's too many in the way? You don't have enough movement. How far away am I from everyone? You're maybe 80 feet. Weapon bond. Does that bring it right back to me immediately, or is that like an action?

It brings you right back immediately. So I could, because I have three actions in a turn, potentially, I could spear one, bring it back to me, spear a second, bring it back to me, spear again? Or is it like, I spear one, bring it back to me, and that's me done? Because I've got to decide how I'm doing this. Because I could spear one, then crossbow, me, and that's me done. Because I've got to decide how I'm doing this. Because I could spear one, then crossbow, crossbow.

That's an option. I've got a lot of business going on. Or fire them all. They can't be within ten feet of me. It's a bonus action, so you can only do it once a turn to summon it to you. They're not within ten feet. Could I get to a position where the gnolls are within 10 feet of me But my daughter isn't?

Mm-mm Alright, I'll throw a spear at one Bonus action it back to me Throw it again, and then crossbow Where are you getting that third attack from? Oh, action surge Alright, then you're getting four attacks Extra attack, that's where I'm getting it from

Extra attack gives you's where I'm getting it from. Extra attack gives you your second one. Shit. Then how am I getting four? I don't know. Whatever. Yeah, I'll use action surge. You're getting four because you used action surge. Then I'll crossbow twice. It's fine. In fact, one of them I'll firebolt. Why not? Who gives

a damn? Okay. You charge... Alright. You charge in. You throw your spear, but it's at a great distance for your spear. So it's on... Oh, no, you hit. That's alright. Never mind. Gotta save my little girl.

I'm crying tears of joy. As I'm lying there dying, I see my dad spearing enemies for me, and it's not hitting me. I think back to the time where I stabbed him, and I try to forget it just to be happy. It just didn't happen. It just didn't happen.

Just push it out. You deal five points of damage to one of them. Got him. So, Tiffany, your vision's kind of blacking out around the sides. You're worried that maybe this might be the end for you when a spear embeds itself deep and hard into one of the creatures so you're gonna see me

you turn around to see the spear leap back from the creature into the hands of your father who then throws it again can I make my second two actions thunderbolt firebolt or is magic From the creature into the hands of your father, who then throws it again. Yep, at the same guy. And can I make my second two actions Thunderbolt, Firebolt? Or is magic like...

No, you can, yeah. Mad. You miss on the second attack. Your spear goes wide. And, sorry, Thunderbolt of Firebolt. Firebolt. Cook him. He becomes like just this blur of motion, throwing spears.

Then when he runs out of spears to throw, throwing balls of fire. How much damage does firebolt do? It does 1d10. D10. One of the firebolts strikes the creature and deals 6 points of damage. I'm getting him. I'm doing fine. It could be better.

No, that's me trying to cheer you when I'm dying. Dad, you're always laughing at me. Tally-ho! Call Sir Ware. He charges into the fight as well, but that's his turn. Unky Dick. Unky Dick. You didn't do anything.

You just charged. Tiffany. So, what I would recommend is you can attack and then use your bonus action to disengage. So you strike, but then fuck off back behind your dad. Will I hit any of my friends slash my dad if I use Thunder Wave? You'll hit Hector. That's fine.

I won't. Hector's fine. He's tough. He's tough. You've got to get out of there. No, that'sector. That's fine. I won't. Hector's fine. He's tough. He's tough. You've got to get out of there. No, that's fair. Tiffany. Okay, I use Thunder Wave.

A wave of thunderous force sweeps out from underneath. I was trying to help you, and now you're wounded me. Why? You're at odds with this party's golfs. I'll pretend I sneeze later. You'll be like, I don't know, it just happened. I'm sorry, it's a tiefling thing. Sometimes we just sneeze electricity, I don't know.

Did you not know that? You do have hellish rebuke, by the way. Which means if someone attacks you, you can point at them and you can attack and kill, like, light them on fire, basically. It's a good spell. That's instant, isn't it? Yep. I could have done that before.

You could have done that before. That's right, isn't it? Yep. I could have done that before. You could have done that before. That's right. I always forget. I was too busy dead. You were too busy dead. You got stabbed and eaten by hyena people. Sometimes like I got stabbed. You're inside them now.

It's fine. Rest in peace. Jesus. Just a little bit. Like a chunk is inside you. Is inside you? I have a chunk of hyena in me and myself and the hyena are very confused

about how that's happening. The hyena bites you and you're just like, what? The four hyena creatures and Hector all take eight points of damage and are thrown

ten feet away from you. Oh, that's awesome. And also emanate this ball of force from deep within your center. Good work. I like that we both have hellish rebuke. That's good, that's awesome. I also emanate this ball of force from deep within your centre. Good work. I like that we both have hellish rebuke. That's good.

It's genetic. Oh, that's so beautiful. Like, someone attacks me and I turn around and immediately set them on fire. Someone's like, whoa! And it's like, yeah, my dad taught me that. It's because, you know, it's a family thing. We have a special bond. He adopted me, but, you know, we have a special bond.

Yeah, they're like, gahooey! he adopted me but you know we have a special bond you're there like time for me to make it out of here then i get on a penny farthing i imagine your legs are the right length for a penny carving the one you set on fire takes another three points of damage from being on fire. Oh, wait, no. And then did you want to run back behind your dad? Yes. I roll away. The one that you set on fire takes another three points for being on fire. They all get up. Highs or lows?

Highs. Why not? Do it. It's a fitty-fitty. True. Never say lows. That's a fitty-fitty. True. Never say lows. That's the trick. I always go high. Clever. Would you like me to re-roll that?

No. No? They scatter. Got them. Wait. Did we get them? They run away. They seem to have possibly determined that this fight is harder than they were originally expecting.

While they have numbers on you, they don't seem to have you outmanned necessarily, if you know what I mean. But yeah, they choose to take their action to just sprint away from you. Hector, it's your turn. Anyone near me? They're actually a bit far away from you. What ranged weapons do you have? I have a trident.

Well, you're probably too far for the trident. They'd be... Well, the closest ones would be 70 feet from you. Maybe longer. How did you... Yeah, the closest ones to you would be like 70 feet away. The moment I see them fleeing, I'll rush over to my daughter. Yeah.

Right next to her. I ran behind you. I'd turn around and see if I can tend to her wounds. Do I have a healing spell? I don't. I pretend I'm a little bit more injured than I am. Piece of shit, but all right. That's what I'm doing.

Are we okay? Hector, what do you want to do? I'll lay a hand on this one. All right, cool. We'll call it out of initiative then. They fuck off to wherever they came from. Lay on hand. And the healing.

36. Blonk. 36 hit points. The 36. Blonk. Yeah, the 36. Blonk. You're on 37 hit points, Tiffany.

36 Matt LeBlancs. Lucky. That guy's a decent-ish act. It's a moo point. It's a moo point? You know, when a cow makes a point? It's meaningless. I didn't realise I heard that from you guys.

You did. You did. Thanks for playing, Adam. We love having you on the show. It's always good to have you on the show. You're always a team player. Unfortunately, tonight you're not the winner. You lost this one, boy.

Join us next time, ladies and gentlemen. We love having you around. Jackson was dressed by the... Sir Grace? Yes? You clutch at your chest and fall to the ground. It was coming eventually. You feel numb in all your...

I just feel like this. So, as you guys rest a little bit and dole out some healing magic, how exactly close do you want to be to the town centre where all the bodies are? I mean, away? Yeah, probably. Like a ways away from it. All right.

Just for smell purposes. Give them a little bit of room. Just maybe, uh, risk, I guess, respect for the dead. Uh,

I'm going to say you guys can take like an, uh, Hmm. I'm going to say you guys can take like a, an hour break, just a quick breather. Uh, so you'll get some of your powers back. If you, or you could take an extended break if just a quick breather. So you'll get some of your powers back.

Or you could take an extended break if you want, I guess. An extended break gives you everything back. Short break just means it's only an hour. It's an hour or eight hours. It's up to you guys. It's a morning. So Hector, you're feeling pretty bad after that fight.

I think also Tiffany might be almost dead. No, she's doing pretty well compared to you. How about we'll take a long run? How about everybody just... Probably should have healed myself. Oopsie daisy. Goodbye.

We'll take an eight out. Can we go back to our campsite? Our horse and cart and... H was it? The Constant Hitchiner and Peter Craven. What's that called when it's a horse drawn? Carriage. Carriage. There we go.

What caravan? Wagon. Wagon's East. Good film. Not very. Kind of bad. So, Zamit, what you did was you just started trying to come up with the word for wagon. You got to the word wagon.

Yes. And now, what about a wagon? And now I'm thinking about John Candy. Can we go to our wagon? Yes. Where did we park? Yeah. Where are the horses?

I think you left it out of town before you went. Did we parallel park the wagon? We left our horses? I don't remember. I weep for vengeance. They're not dead. We'll go to our wagon. You either hitched them or you had them with you.

Either way, they didn't run off and they weren't taken by anyone. So it's not a difficult prospect of getting them back. Is it close enough that we could go to our wagon and then rust? Yeah, it's not that much of a walk. Do you want to go to the wagon and then we're just safe? Yeah, I want to be with Vengeance and my dad. Of course you do. That is a good idea.

But getting to the wagon is probably going to be... So we'll go to the wagon. All right, you get back to the wagon. All of your equipment and supplies are there. Can someone tell me? I don't know who has it written down. Is it an actual wagon or is it a cart? There's a size difference. I certainly didn't write it down.

That does not surprise me. I wrote down my horse's name. Yeah, I've got a drawing of my horse. I wrote down Radney the horse. Alright. So I'm going to give you the smallest one. No, no, no. But we can all sleep in it, can't we?

It was the rich boy. What's his name? You actually can't lie down in the smallest one. It was Dick Ware. It was Dick Ware's wagon. Dick Ware's wagon. Unky Dick. It was Unky Dick's wagon. There he is.

We were just playing Ware's wagon as well. That's fantastic. Quick game of Dick's wagon. There he is. We were just playing Where's Wagon as well. That's fantastic. Quick game of Where's Wagon. Welcome to all of the wagons. You've got to pick out your own wagon. That's the hardest part. Yeah, you could sleep in his wagon. Yeah. He was big. He was well.

That doesn't mean that much. Quite a lot of big people have very little wagons. For comedic purposes. For some reason, I meant wealthy but I just said big. You were just like, oh, in general a carriage.

They're sick. I'm pretty sure I said carriage at one point by the time I got to wagon. We said wagon. We meaning me. I'm sharing the brain. No, a chariot. He has a chariot.

We can't sleep in a chariot if a chariot is what I think it is. Like what a Roman might run into a Ben-Hur. Anyway, yeah, to a carriage. I'll take watch while they sleep because I'm fine and they're ill. All right. Thanks, Dad. Yep. Thank you, Sir Grace. ill. All right. Thanks, Dad. Yeah. Thank you, Sir Grace.

You're very kind. Just not tired. I did not. You could have just said thank you. You don't have to say everything in your. It's good to be honest. I agree. It is very good to be honest.

Sometimes I wish he wasn't so honest. Who's going to take next watch? I'll do it. Dad, go sleep. Yeah, okay. I'll watch out. No one will come after me.

I'm a tiefling. Who'd want to come near me? Okay, no, that's fine. I'll watch. I'm going to bed. Yeah, okay. Enough. All right.

Who's taking third watch? Should it be noted that my watch isn't that great because I'm crying? It's largely irrelevant. Okay. You actually don't have a high enough perception anyway. I'm just sitting there lying. Like wake up, like hearing some sobbing, and maybe try and comfort young little Tiffany here.

It is okay. He doesn't mean what he says. I do. He's sleep talks. I'm sure he is a good, kind father. I mean, like, you know, he doesn't do a great job of it, but he doesn't do a bad job of comforting you either. He's like a shoulder to cry on, but his words don't leave much of an impact.

Oh, well, that's, you know, I was worse off before, so thank you. You know, one way or another, you're a do-er. Maybe you feel slightly comforted. I do. It's nice to know that, you know, someone's there. Yeah. Because I don't know what that's like. Just see if you need anything.

It's true. And I suppose you get Unky Dick to take the fourth watch yeah yeah unky dick he's got the eight hours past everyone recovers all of their hit points oh good old fifth ed oh man you're the best it's good in 3.5 it's like I want to get all my health points back. I'm going to sleep for a week. No. It's like, just take some rest. But I guess maybe it's built for long-term games where you can just knock out a week and it ain't no thing. It's built so that you don't need a healer anymore.

You don't need a dedicated someone to give out hit points. Sort the party out. Who would wake up first? Probably you, I feel like. I feel like I sleep in. Yeah. Night. Yeah, yeah.

No, I try to get up, practice, you know. Sword manoeuvres. I feel like I wake up as soon as I hear someone else stirring. Yes. I feel like I wake up if you're going, Yeah, yeah, yeah, every time. I'll wake up early and make breakfast for everyone. So Hector is actually so quiet as he gets up that he does not rouse you, Tiffany.

So you're also asleep. You jump out of the carriage. The first thing you notice as you jump out of the carriage is Unky Dick is fast asleep, sitting where the person who, you know, where you like control, you steer the carriage. He's fast asleep lying back there. But he's propped up in such a way that if you couldn't hear him snoring, you might think him awake.

Adorable. That wily unky dick. Classic uncle dick. Feels weird when you call him uncle dick. Unky dick. I'm so sorry, I misspoke. Classic unky dick. You set off, Sir Hector, to collect some firewood

to start a little campfire so that you can cook something? Yep. The nearest obvious place that you could get it from are some of the burnt out buildings. There's, you know, not all of the wood is destroyed there. And you can, from the nearest one, collect, you know, just bits and pieces. You bent down, grabbing one, sliding it out from under a pile of refuse, when a black boot steps on top of the bit of wood,

and you look up into the hooded face of a tiefling, similar to Tiffany, but male instead of female. Ah, marrying my daughter off! No longer my problem. Just under the rug.

Good morning, sir. Hello there. Hello. My name is Pyrrhon. I have some business with you. He slowly pulls his boot off the bit of wood wood so you can slide it out if you want or just let go it's up to you i'll let go and stand up and um good afternoon good morning my name is i'm hector what what business do you he uh oh you're intimidated by him oh what yeah

he's like just suddenly he was there it's a bit scary um where where did you um where did you come from well i'm from a little bit of here a little bit of there no in particular uh can we go back and speak with your compatriots of course would you like come this way all right he did you make like any effort to be in front, behind, anything like that? I want to be. Because he tries to be behind. I'm going to be in front, but like spider sense tingling. Just be like, I'm aware that a man that's crept up on me is very behind me.

And I'm going to try and get Richard Ware's eye, like try to get his attention. Richard Ware's napping. But he's sleeping and snoring. So I don't know how this is going to work. I feel like I'm about to get stabbed in the back. As you go back to the carriage, the morning sign is positioned in just such a way that your shadows fall in front of you and a little to the left, so you can actually see from his shadow where he's standing in relation to you. Oh, that is good news.

We're leaving. Rather than having his arms by his side, he's standing in relation to you. Oh, that is good news. Relieving. Rather than having his arms by his side, he has his arms up at his chest. But because of, you know, the way shadows work, you actually can't tell what his arms are doing. All right. You get close to the wagon. How do you want to attract Richard Ware's attention? Just call out, Richard. But loudly.

He startles a little bit and sits up in his seat. As that happens, from, so imagine it's the gentleman who's identified himself as Piran, you, the carriage with Michael Ware on it, and then, you know, wreckages all around you. From the wreckages past the carriage, a very surly but also hooded and wearing cloak and dark clothes, a dwarf steps out. From the appearance of both of these men, you think they're wearing

a uniform. Piran, was it? It was your name, Piran. Sorry, I forgot to say this. The dwarf is carrying a crossbow. He doesn't have it pointed at anyone, but he just has it at the ready. I want to just slowly inch towards my sword. Pyrrhot, is he one of yours?

Why, yes. This is my compatriot. His name is Odell Shieldcracker. Odell, introduce yourself. Classic dwarf name. Odell gives a slight bow, but he never takes his eyes off you. Richard Ware sort of sits

a little bit uncomfortably in his seat. He's not sure 100% what he should be doing at this point, but you can see quite obviously a Hector that his hand is on something underneath some rags which you assume to be perhaps his weapon. Richard, this is...

Oh, incidentally, sorry. When he calls out Oh, yeah Both of you also wake up You hear Hector calling out for Michael For Richard Ware Does he sound nervous? Little bit

How did you say it? Richard, wake up We have guests Ah, well, you heard that Sorry I'll clamber out Sit on the edge of the chariot Guests?

I don't know. I crawl out slowly. The light is not good with light. You both clamber out. You're probably blinded a moment in the morning sun, but then the scene slowly becomes very clear to you. You see on one side a very, like, sort of serious, gruff-looking dwarf.

Because you guys are a bit closer you can see him in a lot sharper relief and you can tell that he's blind in one eye he's got some sort of awful claw mark across it and it looks like his beard doesn't grow in properly because the claw mark extends down along his cheek that's cool and the tiefling behind sir hector the tiefling makes no effort unlike you um tiffany he makes no effort to conceal his heritage he has these big wicked goat horns that extend from out under his hood and he's made allowances such that his tail can come out behind him i wag my tail in excitement and say hey what's up? In Infernal.

Oh, boy. I make no effort to conceal my excitement. We can all speak Infernal, can't we? Yeah. That's great. Piran's, sorry, the character, I should say to you, switches to Infernal and says, Good morning to you. My name is Piran. And sorry, the character, I should say to you, switches to Infernal and says, Good morning to you.

My name is Piran. And you are? Tiffany. Yeah. That doesn't translate very well in Infernal, does it? I say that in regular. I want to find an equal pun. Okay, sorry.

One extra thing. Sorry, just one extra thing. You can both see that Piran has a hand crossbow, a crossbow the size of like a pistol, pointed at Hector's back. Are we in trouble, I say? Are you getting us? Quite the opposite. I have an opportunity for you. Good, good.

I instantly relax, maybe lean up against, like pull whatever bedclothes I was using up against myself. It's cold. I say I like your horns. I have horns. I just hide them. Sorry say, I like your horns. I have horns. I just hide them. I'm sorry. Sorry, you were talking.

I'm sorry. I just, no. You go, you go. It's on a whisper. She's got some. She's never seen another. I don't know if she's ever seen another one of you. She's never seen another tiefling.

She's got some father issues. It's a whole thing. I hear everything they say and just nod. It's a mess. Her father issues are a mess. The father is a bit of a mess. That is him over there. As you can probably see how they're standing together,

you might not have recognised that they are father and daughter, but I assure you that they are. She's adopted. My tail's still wagging and waving behind me. As you can see, he's very enthusiastic about trying to get that out. The adoption comments this time like, they make my smile drop a bit, but my tail's still going. That's good.

I'm just happy to see... I don't think I've ever seen another tiefling in my life, except for in books when they're portrayed as demons and they're often being killed. I remember some cruel nanny being like, and all the children taken away by the T-Flick for not brushing your teeth. And you're like, um... This isn't a

big school scenario to you? Like 30 students in a classroom? I want like, new addition to my backstory, me between the ages of 5 and 10, wondering where I was meant to take the children and when I'd find out. And thinking that there was a secret place

that I would know about eventually and it was like me finding out that Santa wasn't real I get to like 13 and Dad's like tieflings don't actually take people away but I was looking forward to meeting people like me I like to think that I found out when you took children at your school

and took them to like a tree or a lake and they were like Mr. Grace grace your daughter has kidnapped some children from the school who didn't brush their teeth uh i just think that you have like gone to bookstores and is there any books where the tiefling is always portrayed as a villain because i just need i just want them that's important for my child's education for reasons. Anyway. Sorry, Pyrrhon.

It is a very complicated situation. I don't know why we explained it to you. I cannot take my eyes off this tea flask. Odell and Pyrrhon give each other, like, a look, except it's more like Pyrrhon gives a very exasperated look. Odell's face does not change. Can I have sidestep during that explanation? Just a sidestep, not so he's behind me, in kind of a subtle way. I'll say, sure.

Pyrrhon is so distracted by the rambling that is going on that he doesn't notice when you step a little bit out of his sights. And when he comes back to it, he's a little surprised that you've moved without him noticing. He retrains the hand crossbow on you, but it's no longer pointed at your back. You're kind of facing him. So if you have a business proposal, maybe you could lower the... Of course, he says. He doesn't put it away.

He doesn't drop it. He just lowers it like Odell. They both are armed, and they're quite visibly armed, but they're not pointing their weapons at anyone. As I said before, I have a proposal for you. So, we represent a group of people who would much enjoy to have, well, to seed a little bit of chaos in the area. well to seed a little bit of um chaos in the area and a helm is shall we say not the chaos that we want yeah like you're lesser evil kind of yes yes exactly yes well we are yeah i'm assuming you guys are still speaking in phone. I never spoke in phone.

I know that he switches back to Cormac, assuming you do not understand. He probably introduces himself again. Hello, my name is Piran, and this is my associate, Odell Shieldcracker. Court it all. Sir Jordan Grace, how are you? So, anyway, as I was saying. But that's fine. I'm under the understanding that you are here looking for a helm yourselves. Do you know what he has done?

There are rumours from the city we came from. What was it called? Fairburn Point. Fairburn Point. He is responsible for this. It points to the Jones... Jonescliff, is it? Jones's Bluff.

Jones's Bluff. Is that a Jonestown reference, Adam? I don't know what Jonestown is. It's a cult. A lot of people died. I don't know. Oh, no, I have heard of that. No, it is not.

That's kind of a shame. Jonestown, they killed themselves by drinking whatever poison. This one was raided by orcs, goblins, gnolls. Slightly different. Much different. Same, but different. Yeah. I point to Jones's bluff.

Jones's bluff. Do you know, because there's rumors that he was responsible, but we have been sent to acquire him, but there is rumors that he has turned quite evil, I guess. Well, I had heard about him before he came here, and I had heard good things, but I've not seen much good things, shall we say. But all I know about him, because I only came into this picture recently, before you people, but only recently,

I am aware that he is in command of the forces that attacked here. But I'm not 100% convinced that he likes that he's in command. not 100 convinced that he likes that he's in command i think he wishes to um to go with you but maybe he's a little bit trapped it's a very complicated situation see there's some sort of magical presence creature some something like that in the area that's affecting the minds of some of the tribals here and it's it using a hound to try and control them, but also he's not 100% in control. I'm not... Sounds messy.

It is quite messy. I'm not 100% on the details. Very complicated. I was hoping if I could grab your help on this one. I don't care exactly... Sorry. Yes. Sorry.

Sorry. Keep going. I seem disappointed his proposal wasn't of marriage to me. God, me too. I know where he is. Oh, that was going to be my next question. Yes, you're really clever. Once we get a helm, we can get out of here.

We can all get on with our lives. I'm happy to give you only the rest of the information I have on him. Who is it? The political. So, Chris? While I am sometimes a spy, my spy work is a little rusty or something like that. So that's all I know about the politics of the situation. That there's some sort of weird magical creature.

I think it has maybe mind control, some weird ability like that. And it's using a helm because for some reason it can't directly step in. Don't know why why do you know what happened in sunson so there was apparently a lot of deaths there well it's very hard to determine exactly what happened to sunson because the center can i stop making coffee sorry can i be like is this this conversation is how long is this going to go on so grace can you do as long as i'm going to make coffee for everyone who wants coffee, could you please make me a coffee? Pierron raises his hand and looks at Odell.

Odell shakes his hand. I'm going to make coffee for everyone. You guys can... That would be very good. Dad, Dad, you're embarrassing me, Dad. Maybe our people are like this. I don't know. Honestly, Tiffany, he He's gonna propose something

We're probably gonna say yes Like Look at Hector Like Give him like The eye Like yeah We're gonna say

I roll I roll my eyes And I'm like Just go make It's all just It's all just foreplay Tiffany Just

Right now I'm making coffee Go make some coffee Because I just would like some intel Before we go off Half cocked Okay Point to note Adrenaline is starting to die down a little bit Your heart's still Go make some coffee because I just would like some intel before we go off half cocked. Okay?

Point to note, adrenaline is starting to die down a little bit. Your heart's still, you know, fucking off its chain. But you're sort of there enough again to notice that the uniforms that both of these men are wearing have a sigil on it. And have actually identified the sigil as there's no actual name for it but the neighboring nation of goldcrest had kind of like a sanctioned assassins guild so the king's assassins essentially and these people if their uniforms are correct are members of that guild goldcrestrest, I should let you know, has been at war on again, off again with your nation of Kandor for quite some time. And we know.

You know everything that I've just said. Oh, good. I'm now even more worried. Although, Kandor recently fell into civil war and you have no idea why these assets are being squandered in Fairburn Point. So, are you here on official business or did you just find yourself here? Well, there's no such thing really as official business for us anymore.

Oh. What business do you do? They're assassins. Actually, you knew, Tiffany. You were the only one so Grace you didn't know actually Richard Ware knows that's the best

instead of saying they're assassins I'm like sugar Tiffany you're quite aware of the just state sponsored assassins guild you know that when he says official business and when he's talking about business he's talking about spying and assassinating wow that sounds like the

tieflings i heard about in my childhood stories i don't say that out loud i'm beginning to think that maybe you are not here as esquire it's it's it's who wanted sugar again I'll have two please Two sugars? Sweet That's a sweet coffee So there's no official Well When the king was killed

In the civil war You were not aware That the king was dead The king of Goldcrest is dead King Goldcrest In the capital city Goldcrest In the nation of Goldcrest Fuck that's good Oh that does my heart good King Goldcrest Of Goldcrest. In the capital city, Goldcrest. In the nation of Goldcrest. Fuck, that's good.

Oh, that does my heart good. King Goldcrest of Goldcrest of Goldcrest is dead. Yes, he was killed quite some time ago, actually. I'm surprised you're only just hearing about this. How long ago? Sorry? How long ago was quite some time ago? Months. I actually we've been on the road since, well,

for quite some time. So what is happening to Goldcrest? So what is happening to Goldcrest? Some damned adventurers came through Overthrew the king Now mercenaries Classic adventurers Isn't that always the way You can't bloody keep a Kingdom

I'll go back to my coffee She's glaring at you You go back to your coffee and Perrin stares at the back of your head For like another Just an extra second Like what is this man I say we're not actually related I think you've already stated that

Actually maybe he was quite insistent That you were adopted He wasn't kidding about the adoption thing Not at all He's very serious about that one. Tells everybody. Even when we don't ask. He tells me sometimes before I go to bed.

Do I know that Goldcrest was in a civil war? You were aware of the civil war, although you probably didn't know the king was dead simply because you just didn't care. It was a moment of peace, and Goldcrest falling in among itself is like it's just good news. It's no news other than good news and so you probably

didn't pay too much attention to it. And so now with the king dead I'm guessing are you guys out of a job? Well that's basically the idea. We're going from place to place picking up odd jobs here and there. The current job that we have is to sow a very specific type of chaos around here

and it just so happens that the chaos that we want and your goals kind of line up. We need a helm out of the pitcher and you need a helm out of the pitcher as well. Well, this is very interesting information. If a helm is someone who is not in control

of his actions, then this is someone we need to take and try to get to the bottom of this, because the king needs him for... Do we actually know the reason? Yeah, he needs him to scry. Yeah, he's a powerful diviner. He's got to do a sneaky scry, figure out what the heck's going on.

The king needs him for some... Because he was a seer. A very powerful seer. A very powerful seer. It sounds like we're all wanting the same thing, so we should stick together. Maybe not stick together there, Tiffany. I told you we'd say yes. Knew we'd say yes. I hand out the coffees.

Not saying, stop saying just yes. Durin takes his coffee. Do you, but you have no idea. Probably as you're offering the coffee, like he holsters his hand crossbow so he can grab the coffee. Do you know what's happened? You have no idea what happened in Sunset. Well, no. Any evidence was

destroyed in the fiery explosion. Also, we just weren't around at the time. Do you know anything about Askargit? He's the one currently in command of Fairbairn. Seems like he's in a cult. Seems like he's a culty guy.

He seems like he's potentially got his mind... I don't know much about the cults themselves. Well, like I said, my spy work is a bit rusty, so I'm not very aware of the political situation or exactly what these cultists are even about. I just need a helm out of the picture, and I don't need to know everything about him to do that. Okay, and why do you need a helm out of the picture?

What is in it for you? That's for me to know and you to never find out. Well, then I think we're at a little bit of, not an impasse, as one would say. I think we'll say that's a deal. Yes, please. I spit in my hand and it's done. No, no, hang on.

Wait a minute, Sir Grace. Pyrrhon takes a sip from his coffee. While I seem to be outvoted by my compatriots here, I would like

a little bit of information. Nudge Tiffany and be like, we're going to say yes. My tail starts wagging again, just waving behind me. It's not that we're not saying yes or no,

because of course we're going to say yes, because he knows exactly where Ahalm is. Yes, that is what we're doing. But I would like to know... Perrin has a very smug smile right now. Why are we doing this? Be cool, Hector. Comparison, Tiffany.

It's like, I want to pinch my nose, the bridge of my nose, and he's like... Richard Ware pipes up. So, if we could just... I actually need to use the facilities. If we could just... All right, all right. You can go use the facilities Just, can you tell us what exactly

Is it that you're trying to do because At least give me a little Bit of a Richard Ware Classic Could you just please Maybe give us a little bit of information Just give him something to

Quietly yammer You wanted to know why we're trying to do this What are you after Maybe give us a little bit of information. You just give him something to quiet the yammering. What exactly was it? You wanted to know why we're trying to do this. What are you after? Yes. Well, the client that we're currently working for is emphasizing discretion. So I would actually be in violation of my contract if I told you anything. Okay.

How about this? Is there something else I can give you as way of... Yes. Okay. I would like as much information about Askargit as you have, or as you can get. If you can get us information about Askargit and perhaps what is running Fairburn Point.

We will track down a helm. No questions asked. Tell you what, I was in the room. Do you know that the sheriff, the local sheriff is dead at Fairburn Point, the leader of the town guard? Right. I was actually in the room when he, quotation marks, jumped to his death. A skarket pushed him. Right.

I knew it was shifty. Yeah, so he's definitely a murderer. I'm not, well, I kind of understand why. Do you know why he pushed him? Yes, he was aware of kind of understand why. Do you know why he pushed him? Yes, he was aware of the conspiracy. So there is a conspiracy. So another group of adventurers, separate to the original ones, had uncovered some nonsense.

And Asgarkit had been quite obviously found out. They'd gone to the sheriff. And in a moment alone, he'd pushed the sheriff out a window. Sounds like the sheriff was a bit of a dickhead. I guess. I feel that's A, neither here nor there. B, largely... Oh, wait, no.

My second point is just my first point again. Okay, then. So Asgharq is in charge or at least a part of a conspiracy. My second point is just my first point. Okay, then. So there's a... So Askargat is in charge, or at least a part of a conspiracy. Do you know what the conspiracy is? It's the occultists. They basically run the town. I think

they engage in ritualistic sacrifice. I'm not 100% on that. When you start a cult, you want to get... My paladin blood is boiling. It's like, whoa! Demons and shit. It's like, whoa, demons and shit. Whoa, it's not good, boys. Activating your primal paladin lizard brain.

Whoa, it's there. Okay. I climb and remain calm. Okay. If you can give me as much information as possible about Skarget, the cult, all of that conspiracy, if you could perhaps work with me here. Other than that he likes his tea black, that's largely all I know, actually. That is okay. Would you perhaps, if we could engage?

Tea black? He can have it. He has tea without milk. You can have black tea. It's fine. It's quite nice. I don't know if you call it black. No, you do.

Black tea is what you can have. Oh, my God. I like black tea. I crawl back into the chat. Wait, no. There is one more thing I don't you call it black? You do. Black tea is what you can have. Oh, my God. I like black tea. I crawl back into the chat. Wait, no. There is one more thing I don't. It's a sham marriage. I thought that was quite funny.

There is a sham marriage? That is quite funny. What's a sham marriage? He's married to his wife simply for appearances. Okay. There's no love in that relationship. What's he hiding? I don't know. I just know that he doesn't love his wife. What's he hiding? What's he hiding?

I don't know I just know that he doesn't love his wife It's quite funny Fair enough Do you have any more gossip? Do you have like a teen Heartthrob Magazine That we can just have a read through

Can we start printing a gossip column? Dragon Beat. Yeah, Dragon Beat Weekly would be nice. The top nine tips to keep your Orc Man satisfied. One, red meat. Two, slaughter. Three, the first two again

and again. That's it. The cycle. Nine, consent question mark. That is orcs. Classic orcs. Don't get into an orcs situation with your man. Okay, Perrin. How about this?

Tell us where Helm is. We will do everything in our power to get him out of here and take him back to Kandor. Yeah. But I would like information about the cultists. I think he's given you all the information he's got. I know he's got. If we're going to help him, Dad. I'm just kind of like fucking put my hand in my head.

He's given us everything. I know he's got the information he's got. I'm asking him to do more for us. It's just mutual. We're solving everyone's problem. Dad, he seems really capable, okay? We should just get him to help us. Is that okay, Perrin?

Maybe he should join us. I briefly phased out there for a moment. He can join us. He can jump in the wagon. If you could, perhaps, we will do this. And if you could help me in finding out more information at a later date about Askargot and the cultist.

He has that look on his face. I want to give him a look like, I know. It's rich. You exchange that. It is like, stop. I can see what you're doing. It is if we are doing a favor for you, I would like a favor for us.

For me. Can I ask? Yes. Are you a paladin? Yes Alright, so here's what I'll do for you. So I'll get Yes, I will actually rather than I'll get Odell to do it. I'll have a look into this little oscarchid fellow. I'll Tail him a little bit more go into his private life. Whatever willy-nilly tail him a little bit more, go into his private life, whatever, willy-nilly. I'll get that information for you. Meanwhile, my good friend here, Odell, is going to

show you not only where a helm is, but also a back entrance. That is very nice. Thank you. That is good news. Can't you show us? No, it's fine. Do you give up that quickly? Because you can make a persuasion check if you want.

Do you need an assistant? Do you need an assistant? Yeah, that's a good question. Do you need an assistant? Are you trying to get rid of your daughter? No, you might need an assistant. Do you say that? Yes.

Are you trying to get rid of your daughter? You might need an assistant. I'm just joking. You're like, you had him persuaded. Then you said that. And now appearance seems a little torn. Like, what exactly is going on here?

I just want to shrug. Kind of point. Do like this. Point to my forehead. Do horn gesture. Point to her. Then point to him. And then point back to Sir Grace. you know what the fuck you're doing right now

you're like oh um my best girl I met her at work or whatever her daughter

likes video games you like video games you should get together it's even worse it's like I know a Chinese guy and I've met a chinese woman and i'm like god that'd be perfect for each other i am going with it oh no fair enough it's the first

tiefling you've literally ever met yes i do not know what to do with myself i feel my ears ringing a bit i'm just a bit overwhelmed So what was your answer to his question? I actually think we've only asked what's going on here Oh you just were like, horns? Yeah, I was like, horns, Tiffany, you, together, him And I just went, like dickhead A gesture for dickhead I'm right here

Point to Greg Are they different? Actually wait, not even gestures I'm just going to outright say Well it's actually wait not even gestures I'm just gonna outright say well it's very simple it's because he thinks that because you are a tiefling

and his adopted daughter is a tiefling that if I'm reading the situation correct you almost want to marry her off well I just he needs an assistant

dad oh my god dad embarrassing dad you do know I'm an enemy of the state

right a bad boy I know our kingdoms an enemy of the state, right? A bad boy I know Our kingdoms are kind of sworn enemies I'm beginning to doubt that you want to be a squire I think that only I don't say out loud, ooh, a bad boy What we're going to do with this book right here

We're going to find the page that we're currently on Put a little bookmark in there Close that going to find the page that we're currently on, put a little bookmark in there, close that book, and put the book away for a little while. That would be very appreciative. Pick up something more constructive and time sort of... Sensitive? Time sensitive, yes. As the book is metaphorically closed,

I wink and use my tail to do the pointing gesture He like Awkwardly does the pointing gesture Back just to humour you I get butterflies I start trotting my little hooves I have hooves yeah I start trotting my little hooves as subtly as I can

Because I don't know what else to do with myself. I'm so excited. All but in the bag right now. The first people I've ever met and they like me. No one likes me, guys. That's true. Tiffany, everyone...

Jesus Christ. Don't listen to your father. You are a likable person. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have to say that. What a family drama. I don't have to say that. I am not your family and your family don't even say that.

That was pure and utter. I am a very poor, I seem to be a very poor spy because I was quite under the impression that you were two knights and a squire, not a family group. I can't call him dad. Yes, we are two knights and a squire, not a family group. I kept calling him dad. Yes, we are two knights.

I am not part of this. Whatever this is. You seem quite intimately wrapped up in it, though. When you were traveling with them for several months, you kind of like... When I asked what it was all about, it was you who explained it. You care an awful lot, Hector, about our personal business.

Perrin, how did your father treat you? My father was very lovely. I miss him dearly to this day. My father left me orphaned in one of the nine plains of hell. I adopted her. That's basically the opposite of what happened to you. It's like we complete each other. But you adopted her, but you're very mean. You fill each other's

blanks. Why did he pick me if he didn't It's not like I changed. I've never told anyone that. Why did I just blur that out? I feel we're connecting. I reach out with my tail to his tail. It happens but only because he's so preoccupied

with his own thoughts. I just bamboozled him. I'm also bamboozling ourselves. I think myself. Anyway, he shakes you off. Anyway, I'm going to go after Oskarkat. My friend here is going to help you. He doesn't talk much, but you don't need him to talk.

You just need to follow him. That is fine. Excellent. Now, I would advise, very strongly if you can, to maybe pick up some uniforms. Now, I would advise, very strongly if you can, to maybe pick up some uniforms. Well, not really uniforms, but like the bits and pieces that these disgusting creatures,

he nudges maybe a nearby gnoll corpse that you guys fought from yesterday. These disgusting creatures call a uniform. Done that, maybe paint yourselves green and they might think you're orcs at a distance. Okay, yeah, if you think that'd help. Adele can actually help you with that one. That's what his speciality is. Adele is good at being discreet.

Well, if any of you need help reworking the leather from the armor, I'm actually quite apt at my profession. Well, we probably will. I'll look over to see if Tyrion is impressed. She's very good. When you say that, he nods and says, yes, that might be very helpful. But he says it in a very casual way. Like he's not impressed.

But he does think it's a good thing. And give her like a nod. Yes, it might be helpful. I just want to be shaking my head. I don't care if you notice, but I am. It's fine. Anyway, I leave you in my compatriot's capable hands. Catch you later.

Did you mean to come here to offset your... I knew we'd say yes. I know he would have said yes. That wasn't what I was asking. There's a loud stumbling sound from behind you. You swing around to see Odell swinging around to point his heavy crossbow at Richard Ware, who was obviously

attempting to sneak up behind Odell. Richard, Richard, Richard. Anki. Anki, no. We said it's fine. We're mates now. It's okay. Richard Ware lowers a giant tree branch that he cracked as a weapon. God, he's good. Not a tree branch, just a

log of wood. Kind of casually disarm someone who's just in makeshift. That is okay. I'll just take the three. Here we go. No, no. We all crowd around him like this. He lowers his weapon. Put it down, Unky Rich.

Unky Dick. Unky Rich. Unky Dick. He stumbles over to you and you need to explain to him. We give him the score. He seems a bit nervous about the entire thing, but he's like, he kind of sees, he's like, oh, a bit of an adventure, let's get on with it then.

Exactly, exactly. Dealing with unpleasant people, I suppose, but hey, we'll get them in the end. It's like Unky Dick spent his life adventuring and it left a very lovely mark on him and it became part of who he is. I spent my life adventuring and it just a very lovely mark on him and it became part of who he is i spent my life adventuring and it just soured me to adventure every time i hear adventurers got rid of a king i'm like of course adventurers got rid of a king that's how kings die adventurers

they ruin everything they ruin towns you come and you get a good thing going you know you give whatever to the rat king then the venturesance Killer Rat King. You have to choose a new system of government. I search in Null. For? Leather or whatever. He's beautiful. He has like an odd hodgepodge of armor bits and pieces that you can take off him. It's quite bloodstained and stinks because it's been wrapped around a creature that was in its life unhygienic and then spent a night dying in the armor.

Good. It's not pleasant. I start picking pieces up like I'm inspecting them and going, and start getting to work on reviving the leather. I will give my null leather to you so that you may make me an appropriate null outfit. My heart gleams with joy. It's probably the kindest thing you've ever done. Odell silently...

You scumbag. I make a quiet promise to myself that Dad's will be the best and then he'll like... I think Zabit hates me as much as Hector hates... I also decide that maybe, just maybe, if I make this leather good enough for you, Dad, because you're like a cool knight and stuff. That's true.

Maybe Pyram will be impressed as well. He'll be like, where'd you get that leather? Like, I can make you leather. I turn in. Exactly. My heart beams with joy and I work my little tiefling fingers so hard cleaning that leather. It's going to be shiny. What if she loves you and leaves you?

Not my problem To be honest The love part has never happened So I think I'd be okay with her Also within Another man in your life leaving you You're like that's how things go I guess That's a normal relationship

I've taught you wrong Well it's not just men. Like, mum left me. Yeah, mum left. Everyone left me. Who the hell's mum? I wish mum hadn't left. That's because she died.

Oh, you're like, oh, wait. Yeah, no. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, mum left. Yeah, your mum and dad left you at an orphanage. Mum and dad weren't only the kindness of me. Your mum didn't die horribly in childbirth, giving birth to a demon baby at all.

Why would you even think that? Oh, my gosh. So I currently don't blame myself for my mum's death, but you know I'm gonna if I find out. Oh, God, yeah, you will. And then I'm gonna know why Dad's so sad and it's gonna be on me. Oh, I hope I kind of never find out.

That'll be an unpleasant conversation. I've engineered a scenario where you should. That's going to be rough. Good. But hey, as a knight, look, you know, compassionate, honour, I do hate you, but I'm not going to say anything. That's my saving.

I think you'll find one of your tenets is honesty. Yes. So I'm honest, but like, you know, I have honour and duty, so I'll stick by the bastard. Oh, I see. But you will tell if you find out. Oh, of course.

Yeah, yeah. All right, good. Dang. Like, I have to. I just need one of them to find out, that's all. And then the other one will find out. Either through honesty or through a yelling argument and crying. Real life me right now is so scared for future me, who is

Tiffany. It's gonna be a bad time for everyone. Oh, it's gonna be a bad time. Oh, man. Everybody here is gonna be sad. Think about it. This is so great. He was my hero. I respected him. Now I've met him, spent time.

I value honesty. He's made life 20 years. Have we established how you know Richard Ware? Not my brother, but just like an old chump. Who I assume I adventured with back when we were young and full of hope. Because otherwise I was going to make him your half-brother. If only. If only.

Odell. Odell the dwarf wordlessly takes out a little kit, opens up and inside of paints and odds and ends it's a disguise kit essentially he starts painting his own face green and uh he's doing something with his beard like it looks like he's tying it up or something do you want to like try and salvage what bits and pieces you can from the the uh nose i certainly do Tiffany, if you could do me a favor and help me with that, that'd be lovely. I'd love to. You could get one set of, um,

like one quotation marks uniform out of what you've got here. But a lot of it is either just like too mangled and damaged or actually like so disgusting that you just couldn't wear it. But you could assemble together one bit okay or one piece for one person i feel like i've let myself down but i don't let anyone else see that all right so have we noticed that she's only got one yeah yeah it's quite obvious she's laid it out on the in the ground um did i make it like did i restore it at all yeah you like did some restorative work to it but it's not perfect i'll go have a search yeah i'll go see if i maybe there's some more stuff we can look for without any training between the two

of you you're only able to get another bit together so you've got two sets your options are you could maybe like do an old ah we're transferring some prisoners bullshit uh you could try and find maybe like another group of if there's one group of gnolls there'll be like another group somewhere surely so maybe you could find another patrol or group which you might want to ask adele about or you could just scrap the uh uniform idea altogether go in just completely silently or go in completely loudly it's up to you i think everyone would believe that i'm a prisoner yeah that's true that is correct but there is there is a one two three four there's five of us we've only got two at the moment can someone be be a dead body? Yes. I don't really want to have to pick you up.

Dad just wants to be carried. Okay. Well, then I guess we could ask. Odell. Yeah. Do you know of any patrols of gnolls? Perhaps the ones that. Gnoll patrol.

Do you know where the gnoll patrol are? Would you gnoll here? Would you know here? Would you just know with me? She's Shannon Null. I know you're Nolan. Seems like. Anyway. You ask him if he knows of any other patrols.

He grunts in the affirmative. Any what nearby? Perhaps maybe even the ones that we scattered off last night. We just need some more leather. He shakes his head at that, but he stands up and like gestures eastward. Let us go east.

He nods and like gestures Nulls is nulls, you know. They are evil creatures. They need to be put down. Yeah, I mean, I guess. I look down at the floor when people mention evil They need to be put down. Yes. But yeah, I mean, I guess. I look down at the floor when people mention evil creatures needing to be put down. You are not an evil creature. Yeah.

Well, technically. You say that and Odell gives like a... I hear it, but pretend I didn't. You have no control over who you are. You were simply born a tiefling like i was simply born in asmia oh um so it makes me feel worse while you guys are doing all that adele has like tied up his beard tucked it up under his chin and like down into his shirt so you can see you can see now the the scars from the claw or whatever it was has blinded him fucked up his beard and seems to have torn out a large chunk of his throat.

Is that why you don't talk too much? I pointed the scar. Yeah, that makes sense. You didn't have to bring it up to him, clearly. That's just for the clarification. Odell shrugs. He doesn't care, see? Well, I guess he doesn't.

Let's keep walking into these woods. Sometimes I seem like I don't care when I care. Sometimes, Sir Grace, you lack tact. Yeah. Okay. Good to know. Thanks, I guess. No, I don't want your thanks.

Don't know why you told me that. Then why did you ask the fucking question? I think you wear it well. It makes you look tough. Adele stops. He's usually like stony expression. I don't know. You guys describe the expression I'm making.

Just like utter bafflement. Yeah. Mouthing vowels but never making a word. Yeah. Adele looks like he wants to say something but when he tries to speak just air passes through him. I put my tail on his shoulder and say, me too.

He brushes your tail off. You truly are the heart of our team, Tiffany. Shakes his head and then gestures for you to follow him again. We follow. I skip. But will Tiffany be skipping for long? Find out next time on The search for a helm a dnd is for nerds adventure thanks for listening and if you want to follow us on twitter you'll find us at

sans pants radio or you can find us individually i'm'm at AllDogsAreDead. I'm at RetroArchetype. I'm at GodDammitZammit. And I'm at JacksonBBailey. And if you want to hear our other shows, head to Sandspanceradio.com and you'll find all of our content there. There's heaps. And if you'd like to support us, head to Sandspanceradio.com See you later, dickheads.

Don't call them dickheads. Nah. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more dnd content we have just what you need to scratch that itch dnd is for nerds plus the symbol not the word where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to sans pants plus members the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests. And D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice

and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.