D&D is For Nerds - Trouble in Orwa #5 House in House

Episode Date: July 28, 2018

In which our heroes all forget the skull then remember about it together.Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Give the gift of Sanspants! https://sanspantsplus.com/give-the-gift-of-sanspants/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadCass: https://twitter.com/JacksonBBalyShanks: twitter.com/timtimfed Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio, a free pencil sharpening service. Hey everyone, our sister show, Plumbing the Death Star, is doing another UK tour. We're doing Edinburgh Fringe, London Podcast Festival, some late night shows at the Soho, and a bunch of cities in between. So, if you want to catch us live, even if it's just a demand we do D&D and bring Cass next time, you can grab tickets at sanspantsradio.com slash live. But be quick, as a lot of shows are close to selling out. Welcome to episode 5 of Trouble in Orwa,

a D&D is for Nerds 5th Ed adventure. Deviously... So with the two leads of the Skull and the Droogar, you feel like it might be best to get going, because the guards probably will be coming around soon and you don't want to be here when that happens.

That's true. How many people can ride this rhinoceros? Out the front, you see a bunch of elves tittering about something. They're quite obviously drunk. They have several empty bottles of wine around. Something funny? They stop their conversation pretty abruptly

and all three of them are staring at you. Can I get you a drink? One of them grunts surly. Leave, for tonight's only beginning. Filthy Druga. You're not worth the mud on my boots. You're not worth the shit on my boots. I stood on a dog's head earlier.

The Druga goes back down the stairs. I'm about to have a shit beat out of me. Every time your heart beats, a gout of blood emerges from your leg. That's no good. I may genuinely die in this fight. The Drigar just watches you leave. Camtasia!

Actually, I'm not going to use that. I'll save that. I'm going to try and find my buddies. Trisco, you're out the front of the tavern and you have no idea where your friends are. Where are you going to start searching? Well, I guess I just... Knowing that the Drugar upstairs

probably is going to start searching for you pretty quickly. Well, I do have my mad climbing skills. Do you reckon I could start climbing to try and get on the rooftop? Yeah, you could start doing that. This came down, now I'm going straight back up. I'm like, Bitcoin, baby! Roll those dice.

You lost all of your money. No! You start climbing back up to get onto the roof. Around the back of the tavern, what does Jacob, Sickly Jacob, and Brangles want to do? Do you want to just head back inside? One of the drunken elves stumbles out of an outhouse. Is this the one we've seen before? Yeah, one of the three that was outside.

And only one of the Droogar followed us out and they went back in, didn't they? Well, you didn't see him go back in. We assumed that. Yeah, you could. We assumed that he's not. We took a while. Like he's going to be still out the front. Who's got the time?

Yeah. Oh, no. We'd assume they're still inside. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they ground level windows? Yes. Not round the back, though. Okay. What if we snuck around the side, just clammed in? Yes. Well,

if the... Excuse me. Hmm? Sorry to interrupt you on your journey. No, no, no, it's fine. Did you see if the Droogar are still inside? They didn't much like us. I don't know, to be honest. That's fine.

That's very unhelpful. You're very unhelpful. Fine. Well, you're very rude. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you'll be a fucking asshole. He steps inside. That's rude. Oh, I tug safely, Jacob, away from that man.

What? Where'd this fire come from? How many fights do you need to start today? Gosh. What if we just clamber our way up to our bedroom, and we sleep a little bit for a moment, and then we can come out and see what's to be seen see if trisco got anything from actually you know if anything we did tonight it's worthwhile trisco you get to the roof you can hear you could probably hear them talking on the other

side of the tavern okay i go and peer over the edge towards the direction of you see tom the rhino the unmistakable form of tom the rhino and and your two compatriots, Sickly Jacob and Brambles. I sort of shout down in like a shout whisper, Thomas? Thomas looks up. What? Which is it, boy? Oh, well, you could have spoken to us, but that's fine. Whatever.

All right, then. Okay. Hey, guys, it's me. I look like a Drooga, but it's me. Whatever. Alright then. Okay. Hey, guys, it's me. I look like a Drew girl, but it's me. Your boy, Flam Jam. How did you get on the roof? Why? Long story. We'll catch up over a

red moon or whatever later. A blue moon. Where did you get any information? What the hell happened downstairs? Just an incident. We didn't do very well. Okay, can you get to the room? I'm not very strong.

Can we? Is it safe? I would say no. Can we climb on top of Thomas to try and get into a window? Thomas is big. Probably not. Thomas isn't big enough. You'd still need to climb. God, Thomas is big. Probably not. Thomas isn't big enough. You'd still need a climb.

God, Thomas is useless. We've not been in a fight where he's come in handy yet, but that's... Yes, that is my point. Don't say that like it's hopeful. No sooner have you speculated on how useless Thomas has been as a drugar, obviously looking for something or someone, comes round the back of the tavern. He sees all...

Well, no, he doesn't see the Drugar... Well, he doesn't see Trisco up on top of the building, but he does see you two. Thomas, get him. No, is this person being... No, you already said that. This is definitely one of the Drugar from inside. It's not the lead one, but it is one of the two minor ones. Tell me to get him away.

This big horn. This is good. Why? Do you want to die? Are you trying to die? I just think the time for talking is over. This is fine. You're on the roof. I know you're on the roof.

I know. It's probably like sneak attack position if I'm in a Far Cry game. I'm looking at you again. You owe me. When the time comes, Oh, it's coming. It's fine. Tensions. Are they high?

Yes. So, Thomas rears backwards and gets ready to charge, but the Drugar acts first. Okay. The Drugar draws his... It's called a soul blade. Okay. He draws his soul blade, and who don't I like? Brangles, you're a one, two. Sickly Jacob, you're three, four.

And Thomas is 5, 6 He targets you, Brangle Brangle, you feel that mark That aura descend upon you again And the Drugal launches at you Am I taking it? You get hit The Soul Blade cuts you from one shoulder

To your other shoulder Can I be staring at Sickly Jacob the whole time? You take seven points of damage. I do not avert my gaze from Sickly Jacob. It gets more and more, like, just... How is this my fault? Sickly Jacob. Yeah.

Wrangles, as the Droogar launches at him, Wrangles turns around to look at you,, as the Droogar launches at him, Wrangles turns around to look at you, completely ignoring the Droogar. The Droogar cuts him across his chest from shoulder to shoulder. Blood splatters up onto his face. There's a bit of a twitch when that

happens, but continues to make eye contact with you the entire time. I take a long swallow because I don't have that much saliva, but I am put off. Then it is Trisco's turn. Trisco, you see that happening down there? You can tell that this Drooga has not spotted you yet.

Can I, um, how many floors up am I? Three. Okay, I start scaling. I'd say there's going to be four, because there's three stories, you'd be on top of the third. Yeah, it's four, I suppose, actually. Would I know how many stories from which I can make a leaping sneak attack without hurting myself if I land it correctly? Five feet.

Okay. You are 40 feet up? Wait, it's really more than five feet. Five feet's like jumping from, like, shoulder height. Yeah. Yeah? I'm that weak? I suppose anything before 10 feet then to be fair okay well i i start scaling down the side of the wall uh sneaky sneaky as she goes you have cunning action don't you you can do that this turn if you want well i

could sneak you can use the dash action as your bonus action to move twice you slowly climb down and then you just launch at him you can do that this turn yeah that's what i'd love to do i'd love to do it with both of my daggers like a kimbo like sort of like a legless move just kind of like jump down like sort of like try and like stab into each side of his neck and use that to kind of like land i'm like landing on his shoulders with my daggers hell you hop off the side of the building taking out your two daggers you stab both of them into the side of the wall, and then use that to slow your descent down. That's so cool. Before

you get, maybe you get under 10 feet, and then you launch yourself off from the building at the dwarf. Drugar, sorry, I should say. You land on his back. The drugar cries out in pain, and you deal minimum damage on this attack

That sucks Bad boy Oh I do hate you Does that count as a sneak attack? It does count as a sneak attack So do I still get a minimum bonus? You do, you just get the minimum you would have done Which is

6 points of damage in total Nothing to sneeze at, but it could have been much higher. In spite of that, I sneeze. Talk! Like I said, he cries out in pain. He obviously wasn't expecting that. And now he sees that he was

before fighting a rhinoceros and two enemies. Now he is fighting a rhinoceros and three enemies. One of them is a druga, so hopefully it blows his mind. He's like, what? Prangles, it's your turn. He just hit sickly Jacob. He's weak as right now.

Although you're not doing well either. But if you get the opening salvo, you're more likely to win. I'm going to get dagger whip. I'm going to use my daggeragger Whip on this Drugar. One day you'll attack me, Cass. What a wonderful day it'll be. The lack of answer was really scary.

You just slightly widened your eyes. Like, yeah, good on you for notice. Absolutely, this ends in your death. The Drugar is expecting your attack. He's seen the dagger whip before, and so he deflects the dagger whip with his soul sword, but because you are such a flurry of blows, some might say, you can continue to attack him, just like...

hitting him again and again and again. Eventually, you do get in through his guard, hitting him and dealing five points of damage. Good. Okay. As soon as I get... Maybe during the flurry of blows while I'm missing, just more Stare and Daggers right into Sickly Jacob, hoping it makes him sicker. And that was Brangle'sacob it's your turn your rhino can attack oh yeah yeah yeah i'll get the rhino to charge it's gonna be totally worth it guys all the white this whole finally he's gonna be worth it for this

pure unadulterated moment of animal fury. I promise. I don't want to die, but I really hope the soul sword just cuts through Rhino Horn like butter. Jack, do you think it's funny that literally every single game we've ever done with Shanks, you've made a character that is useless? Yeah, it's weird. This doesn't happen other times? He doesn't normally do this, no. This is actually, it's not unusual.

It's just not the usual. There's a pattern. Yeah, that's weird. I don't know why. It's like you must bow to Shanks. Like, I'm sorry. I'll make a shit character. You can be the best.

I'm sorry. Stupid, stupid. Your rhinoceros charges forwards and would probably hit. Oh, man. Unless the disadvantage that I impose upon him with my bad boy card makes it miss. It doesn't. Yes. That was close.

Magnus wasn't useless, was he? Finding out the characters you didn't think were useless. Which one was Magnus? Magnus wasn't useless, but Magnus did pour out a lot of health potions. Magnus was actually self-sabotaging, which is a step worse than useless.

Grown was potentially useful, he just didn't do anything. Tom. Grown was pretty shit. Tom deals 11 points of damage. Eh? Tom, with his big horn picks the Droogar up throws him into the air

he lands on the ground heavily and then Tom launches up onto his rear legs and brings his front two legs down on the Droogar yes there's an awful squealing sound which as it gets drawn out is turned into a squelching sound.

And the Droogar is dead. You can hear yelling and commotion from inside. You fancy that your noise has attracted someone's attention. What if we send Tom in one direction and we sneak around the other side like nothing even happened? I think we've got to get out of here, guys. We need to leave. All right, let's stop. Everybody on Tom.

There's got to be another tavern here. Well, I think I know a guy in town. Maybe we could get some respite there. Can I invoke criminal contact as, like, a dude with an apartment? Yeah. Okay, sick. Yeah, I know a guy. His name is Bringleberry.

Hans Bringleberry. Yeah. Of the Bringleberry Manor estate. Quick, away. We all go there and arrive unharmed. As you scopper, the Drugar come out of the back of the tavern. They're quite obviously trying to give chase, but Tom is just faster than the Drugar. I just like the idea of trying to hide it. Like, who could have squashed our Drugar friend?

Maybe the big rhino that was in the stable. You are potentially now wanted by the town guard. Ooh, yikes. You go and you find your contact, Hans Bringleberry, a member of the spy network that you have worked with in the past. Now, I warn you guys, I don't want you to make fun of his speech impediment and crazy accent. He's really self-conscious about it.

Look, I'll do the secret knock. All right. Hello? Who's there? A little shutter opens. You're behind a warehouse in some dingy part of Orwa. Is this the Pringleberry Manor? It's an ironic name.

It's a shithole. Who is that? I say, um, the dragon squeals at a gooseberry, which is, of course, the code word for this spy network. Ooh! The door, you hear several locks going off on the door, and it opens. Standing in the doorway is the man you recognise

as Hans Bringingleberry, an elf with one small eye and one big... I thought you were going to say one small arm and one big arm, like a crab. That's great. He has a large hunch. What the fuck?

Is his body a metaphor? His body is a mess. Tell you what. Ah, yes. Please, step in far. I shut the door behind you. We're being pursued on foot. In trouble again, Ollie.

Oh, you know me, Hans. Might I say you've got a lot more going on physically than the other characters in this narrative. Hans locks all six of the locks. Inside, there's a... Inside the warehouse is just a lot of empty space, and in the middle,

a house. A house that has been constructed in the warehouse. It has a lawn, a backyard, a fence all the way around it that does not reach the edges of the warehouse. The house itself is probably like a three-bedroom house, so fairly large, but the warehouse is much larger. It's like a house inside a plane hangar.

Yeah, it's like a set. Yeah, like a set. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Please follow me. You're looking for a place for how many nights?

Uh, well, let's just start with the one I, I, I, me reckons. Hmm. One night is fine, but beyond that, you'll need to pay. And it's expensive for lodging like

these. Hans opens the front door and inside it's quite a cozy, nice house. This is way nicer than where you were staying before. What did you recover from? Sorry to impose, but time is of the essence. What did you recover from

the two-guy room? If anything, the bathroom is mine.do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Looks like someone's house. There's paintings of a family that isn't Hans. Is it just paintings of Hans with normal sized eyes? Like an idealized version and no Hans? It's an elven family, but it's not Hans. It's a mother, a husband, their three daughters, and potentially a grandmother of some sort, or an elderly person in the family. Did Hans steal a house? There's a big portrait of all

of them together and then individual smaller ones of different groups. And in all the portraits you can see Hans in the background slowly advancing with a dagger. It's just not there. There's paintings of them on holiday. Hans stole this house. Yeah. Well, it's a good place to

sequester it. Is the grass rooted or is it astroturf? It's grass, grown grass. Maybe he just built a warehouse around the house. You can see through the window there's a veggie patch out the back. Is this his prized possession? How are those veggies growing? There's no light in here. Anyway, can any of us-

Tomatoes and lettuce. Can any of us read Drew Gunny's? I can't read this at all. Can your friend Hans read this? Hans, I have a request of you. Do you know what to make of these runes and figures? Why do you have dice, Hans? Come on.

I'm going to go lose. Yes, it's written in Dwarfen. What a twist. As expected. It's a ledger. It looks like perhaps they were running some sort of racket.

A numbers game of thoughts. It also had some receipts in here. They were looking to buy alcoholic beer. of thoughts. It also has some receipts in here. They were looking to buy alcoholic beer. They're quite mad, though. There's a

misunderstanding here. They referred to it as poison. You know how someone would, um, you know, say, what's your poison sort of stuff? They were supplied with actual poison

by the alchemist, who clearly misunderstood them. This explains a fair bit, but just pushes us back. I mean, that's a pretty dumb thing to do, to go to, like, an alchemist

who creates poisons, and is do, to go to, like, an alchemist who creates poisons and is like, make us some poisons, you know, in, like, the colloquial bro sense, but don't worry about that. Anyway, I'm calling the bed. Oh, see you, Hans. Goodbye, Hans. Hans gets up.

Thanks, Hans. Puts on a little nightie that has A.S. stitched onto it. And then he goes over to the master bedroom. Okay, so who's killing him? Tell me, do you want to have a match, too? You don't want to kill your criminal contact. You'll get ejected from the... He'll be made person non grata.

Yeah, I just want to poison him. With beer, of course. Whoa! Wipeout starts playing. Is this the coolest campaign ever? playing. Is this the coolest campaign ever? Well, this doesn't help

us find the ledgers at all, does it? The other tablets. Yeah. No, no, really. I mean, we know it's a red herring. Ah, I see. Well, if this is a spy network, perhaps they could do some spying.

The only criminal contact I have can blackmail which i was initially hoping we could blackmail some drewgar but we keep killing them so it seems like maybe the drewgar just aren't relevant anymore did we grab the ledger from the the silverstone place we grabbed the ledger, well, this ledger that we're decoding now. No, because it might not be the Drugar that's the problem, but clearly somebody bought something

from the Silverstone alchemy place, right? Yes. Yeah. Or the Drugar is on sale. Yeah, possibly. Can we see any mansion? Oh, well, we don't unsolved. Yeah, possibly. Can we see any mansion? Oh, well, we don't know how to read it. I'll just go on to bed.

And we don't have the Silverstone ledger. Yeah, we might need to go back and get that. To analyze the skull, we'll take a rest. Oh, the skull! Meditating on it. The skull! We've got the skull! We stay in unison.

Three, two, one. The skull! We've got the skull! We stay in unison. Three, two, one. The skull! We get your bed right here. So the two bedrooms that are not the master bedroom are one bedroom with a big single bed which has the entire room is covered in crocheted things.

This place is creepy. The other bedroom is obviously several little girls bedrooms it's got three small children's beds in it everything is colored pink in here all right i'll just sleep in one of the beds that i'm sure it's just not the right size oh yeah your feet stick out the end um it's got like one of those bed the bedhead kind of thing yeah it's got it's got a metal wire uh bedhead at either end, and your feet are sticking through two of the struts, if that makes sense.

Yep. I also get one of the kids' beds because I'm still Drooga height, but then in, like, five minutes I get too long. By the time you get here, it's probably worn off. Make yourself, like, a pixie size. Then you can sleep in a matchbox till. Yeah, can I use disguising? Oh, that only lasts for an hour. I just get in one of the kids' beds to sleep in a matchbox till. Yeah. Can I, can I use disguising? Oh, that only lasts for an hour.

Um, I, yeah, I just get in one of the kids beds and sleep as well. All right. Okay. Being polite because, uh,

because Brangle's just got a mad, uh, mad chest slash. Where do you want to sleep, Brangle's? Uh, as far away from sickly Jacob as possible. All right.

You sleep in the other bedroom. Yeah. And I want to, cause I want to meditate as well so that I can get my key points back. Okay, cool. Well, you are all fully healed the next day. Sick. All right, let's crack that skull out of her breakfast.

You've spent some time meditating and focusing on the skull. Yeah, because you're the only one who can. Am I? Well, you're like the magic one, right? Yeah. I have some spells. We can't do it. You're the one who has the best, you're the one magic one right yeah i have some spells we can't do it you're the one who has the best you're the one who's best suited for this cool

that's why you're not dead like to imagine my pouring over the skull involves moving it and licking it occasionally oh yeah and you and i are just watching, like, disturbed, not moving or blinking. Is this so? That thing where your mouth goes a bit wrong? Yeah. So you may extract one memory from the skull, a memory that is a response to a verbal question posed by the characters to the skull. Oh, God.

This is the only one you'll get. You can only do it once. Basically, you're releasing the memories. You can, as they are released, snatch one of them up and view it. You have succeeded on this and now you need to decide what the question is and a memory

will be given to you. This is a stress. Because if we ask, who did you sell the knockout gas to? The knockout gas was also sold to the. Oh, this is a stress. Because if we ask, who did you sell the knockout gas to? The knockout gas was also sold to the Drew guy, yeah? You don't know? It appears it might have been. Actually, I would say, I would just tell you that Hans,

you may be asked this when Hans was reading it, there is no mention of that in the Drew guy's ledger. Okay. So if we say two weeks ago is when the crime was committed, yeah? Yes. So if we say maybe a little bit more than two weeks ago, who did you say a knockout guest to?

We see that memory? That's him sound, right? Yeah. Or maybe is it possible at all that it was stolen or taken? Do we have maybe- Was it two weeks or a week ago? I'm not sure. Ask it for its top three memories of crimes.

Top three memories of crimes that happened. Like a BuzzFeed list. Yeah, like the thing, it works with genies. This won't sound relevant right now, but the elves didn't say that the comet was in the sky a week and a bit ago. They said it was in the sky a month ago. Okay. Cool. Cool.

And ominous. Well, what do we reckon then? Do I ask it, when did you lose it or did you move any knockout gas within the last two weeks, something like that? Are we able to give a long introduction to the question and then shake and hope for the best you can ask whatever you want but being concise will be helpful here who did it and shake the memory because i suppose we could say you know knockout gas was found at this time. Who is likely to have done

the crime. Could you have sold it to in that period of time that would make sense? Is that a bit too long? So what's the question? These tablets were stolen at this time and knockout gas was found at the scene of the crime from

your store. This is long. Could you tell us? It is kind of long. You could try it, but like I said, being concise will be helpful here. Perhaps a knockout gas from your store was used one week ago. Who could it have been sold to? Who could it have used?

Who could it have been Told to Who could it have used It looks unlikely at this stage That the Droger were the ones Who killed Sarah So it's potentially possible That maybe asking questions about her Death might be more helpful

I feel like we just pressed H for hint Yeah No you failed This is the loading screen taking you back. A little tool tip down the bottom. All right. Tool time. So what did we take?

Cash, you didn't make the sound. We all made sounds, but you made a laugh. There you go. That's very nice. This is the first time I've done that. I'm proud. We should have had you fiddle there. I'm proud.

We all heard your first Tim Allen. Everybody remembers their first Tim Allen. But no one else should remember your first Tim Allen. It's 11 p.m. Do you know where your Tim Allen is? So what if we asked... Who killed you? Who killed you?

What about that? That does seem like a concise question. All right. I say, who killed you? And then I shake the skull like crazy. All right. I say, who killed you? And then I shake the skull like crazy. All right. You shake the skull and see what falls out. It's like shaking dice in a dice shaker.

You shake it and then you droop it out. I was thinking like a magic eight ball. And it's just going to come back and just like. On the corner. Yeah, someone. It's on the corner. And you're like, it's not doing it. Mom, mine's broken.

the corner like it's not doing it mom mine's broken a mighty whooshing sound occurs as all of the memories are released from the skull one of them lingers and wraps around all of you you're suddenly standing in the back of the the alchemy store once again this time though obviously sometime in the past there's no use there's. There's no appearance of decrepitness to the place. Sarah is kneeling by some boxes and you see her turn around as the ding, ding, ding. Little, you know, the door opens. It's got a bell. Yes. Thank you very much.

You're so clever. Thank you very much. You're so clever. She calls out in a language that none of you understand, but is probably gnomish. There's no response. Then she changes to comment. Who's there?

Hello? And the back door opens, and in the back door stands a very sickly and dreadful looking person. It was you. No. What a twist. Sickly Jacob. That would be an incredible twist. That would be so good.

No, he's human. His hair is long and matted. He has a very unkempt looking beard. Looks more like Jackson than like sickly Jacob. No, he looks like... Like a wild man? Well, yeah, he looks like... Like a wild man? Not... Well, yeah, actually a little bit like a wild man.

His clothes are dirty, soiled and filthy. He looks like he's never seen a bath or a shower. And the man's eyes are a bit wild. He's wearing one shoe and the other foot is just open and exposed. And it looks bloated and sore. He looks maybe homeless. Okay. She says, oh, you again?

And then in a wink, he's gone. Sarah looks very confused. And you three see, but she is not aware until it's too late, a green slug on her shoulder. The slug jumps into her ear. She jerks suddenly, grabs a potion that she was unpacking, and begins to drink it. As she drinks it, the area around her mouth begins to turn to cracked stone. It spreads and spreads and spreads until she is covered in it. She drops the potion bottle, falls down where she was unpacking,

and is completely transformed. The memory ends. Well, that raised more questions than it answered. But clearly this hairy man is our culprit? Say it with a questioning, hmm? Yeah yeah is there like can we do checks or something

to see what do we know about wild men and and shoulder slugs well beyond knowing that he's homeless or identifying that he most definitely is a homeless man. You can tell that he looks addled, mentally addled by magic, potentially. You can see the telltale signs of some sort of magic affecting his mind in his eyes, something in it. It's like his soul is tainted. Also, I'd say in the memory, Sickly Jacob, you noticed that he had a tattoo

on one of his hands. The tattoo looked arcane in some respect, but not necessarily magic, but more like something of the planes, different planes of existence. I expressed that to you. He was wearing an extra planar tattoo. So from another plane of existence, something from another plane of existence has marked him. Our search just got trickier. Finally, Trisco.

Yes, that's me reporting for duty. You know what happened. You know what happened to the man and the lady. You're a clever boy. Or dumb boy. You know what happened to the man and the lady. You're a clever boy. Or dumb boy. There's a particular type of cult that worships creatures from another realm.

Not necessarily a different plane of existence, but somewhere still somehow far away. You don't know a lot about that aspect of it, but you do know about that aspect's influence here in the world. So you don't know what these cultists they are worship necessarily, but you do know you've heard of this as the cult of Hask. They call it the Hask's presence. Oh, Hask? H-A-A-S-K. The cult of Hask.

Okay. They call it Hask's presence. Cultists who were some cultists who worship or are members of this cult can transform into tiny leech-like beings that teleport onto people's shoulders and can control their minds for a brief time. Like the, what are they called? The slugs from Animorphs. The yorks? The yorks? Yeah. Or the Animorphs. The yorks. The yorks? Yeah.

Or the mind worms from Del Toro Quest. Or the mind worms from Limbo. Yeah. That side-scrolling game. Yes. Or those little goop aliens from Futurama. Or those little worms from real life. Isn't that a fondness?

No. It's nothing, but the silence made me laugh a lot because i was again i was like what show is real life i don't know that movie um would you express such opinion to us uh no no i don't hey guys i know what happened it's these cultists right i've heard of these cults the cult of hask and they like worship like, worship for Hask's presence, who lies in R'lyeh, dreaming. When Trisco says that, Wrangles, that triggers something in your memory.

When you were walking up to the elves last night, you heard the elves say that name, Hask. Well, you see. I heard the elves talking about this, perhaps. They were mentioning it in relation to the comet. Oh, shit. And that did happen

one month ago, which was before all this. Whoever told you that? I know it from life. Well, so then perhaps I suppose our next clue, our next place to head would be the elves, correct? The elves have to know something.

They do know something. They were talking about it. Do we know if they were staying at the usual? The elves were drinking there, certainly. Well, it's as good a place to start as any, and the only other place in this world. Well, you could ask your spy network if they know about... Where?

Hans! Hey, man, what's up? I'm good. So how long have you lived here, man? It's pretty cozy. Most of my life. Right. How old are you again?

That's a confusing answer. How old are you? I'm's a confusing answer. How old are you? I'm nearly 60. Oh, okay. That's pretty young for an elf. Yeah, okay. Well, I'm a young boy, you know, bachelor. What's with the family portraits, man?

Never mind. Hey, look. What do you know about the cult of Hask and Hask's presence? Does that have much of a presence in this little town of Orwa? I get a bad boycott? Oh, that's a shame. He's going to tell an untruth. No.

No, I don't know anything about them. Are you sure, Hans? Yes. Okay. Good enough for me. Hey, guys, he doesn't know. That's unfortunate. I know about spying, not Hey, guys, he doesn't know. That's unfortunate. I know about spying.

Not about, what did you say, cults? What about, like, you heard any rumblings about comets that have been flying overhead recently? There was one a month ago. Oh, yeah? I would ask, well, maybe at the scriptorium. The scriptorium. Yeah. Or the observatory that's connected to it. Well, we've chosen because it contacts the scriptorium. The scriptorium. Yeah, or the observatory that's connected to it.

Well, we've shown you if you're going to contact the scriptorium. We do. We've got a good friend. We've shown you the best of you. All right, so we talked to him about your comics, and we tried to attract under elves. Okay, yeah, or this observatory. As the local spy, you don't know of any secret entrances into that. I'm thinking it might still be under guard from the crime scene.

If you want to talk to the speaker, I know where he drinks. Can I take a guess? No. It's at a tavern called the Bee's Wax. The Bee's Wax. I'm so sad it wasn't the usual. The Beeswax. I'm so sad it wasn't the usual. That would have been amazing. Everybody in Orla goes to the usual.

How many hexes? It's an upper scale place near the scriptorium. I'd watch out, though. It's very close to a guardhouse. They'll come running if they can hear anything happen there. Like anything at all?

Well, obviously I mean a commotion. Okay, that's fine. We'll fucking cut off their ears. Let's go. Alright. So we head, what's our destination? Is this the wax? The bees wax? If we go to the bees wax we can speak with the elves there.

Ah, I miss Sanskrit. Alright, let's head off. Let let's do it my lips are becoming the sickness is taking hold uh all right we had that you go to the beeswax it's a much nicer establishment as compared to the usual the beeswax is... The sign out the front is a hive that has literal dripping honey coming off it. Oh, my God. Magic is cool. Yeah.

I have a bit. Is it real? Yeah. Yeah, it is. Does it cure what ails him? It tastes nice. Sweet. That's super cool.

You're going to be healthy, Jacob, any minute now. There's a small flower garden out the front that a bunch of people are drinking in. It looks quite nice. The flower... Oh, no, it's daytime. The flower garden quite obviously has actual fairies in it that at nighttime you imagine would be lit up. Oh, my God.

Those are so great. It's also weird that the fairies, they work for the beeswax. They look like they're having tiny little dinner parties. This place is adorable. A cough on them. They scatter before you. There's a member of the town guard standing right outside. He has that

spear. I know I described this a while ago, but it's a spear with like a... Yeah, like a Pringles can at the end of it. He's standing just out the front. It looks like he's a guard here, like working security. We just try to head full. Yeah, but are they looking for us after the whole usual incident? I mean, we might be the usual suspects.

You don't think that... Get a good boycott. Really? Just for some bad wordplay? Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. That's a dumb but good joke. The Drugar doesn't look like...

You don't think the Drugar will have called the guard. They will be looking for you, but you don't think they're going to contact the town guard over this. Okay. Okay, cool. But guys, let's play it cool. That's the... And I look at Brangle's plan.

Okay. I'll be a good boy this time. Brangle's, you've done a lot of following plans actually In this game No I haven't She hasn't had a chance to break them The plans keep getting broken Like there was a plan and I was like good a plan to ruin

Then Jack just ruined it so there was no plan anymore Alright fair I just had to try and keep him alive Because he's the only one who can work the skull And he owes me. Absolutely. You look like you're Jones and Jack. We'll head inside.

You walk inside. Sure enough, the speaker is sitting here. He's at a table, bringing a shaking hand with a drink to his mouth. His head is off, and part of his hair has been shaved. He was already balding, but part of his hair has been shaved He was already balding But part of his hair has been shaved away And there's a metal plate there Oh no It's where he fell

When he made him sleep I mean Do you reckon he'll be cool If we just sit down And one of us just grabs his hand Just to let him know that if he tries to run... I mean, I was going to go with a kill him with kindness approach. Oh, that works as well.

You get more flies with honey than vinegar, right? I look to the honey, for example, and it's just like surrounded with flies. It's really gross. What a disgusting design. The drink sport implies that every drink in this establishment is somehow themed with honey. That sounds delicious. As are most of the meals. That's nice.

Honey braised ham? Hold on, guys. Let's consider a different table. I look at what the speaker is drinking. He's drinking a honey mead. I call over a waiter. A waiter comes over. Can I get a jug a honey mead. Can I call over a waiter? A waiter comes over.

Can I get a jug of honey mead, please? To the finely dressed metal-plated old man over there. The waiter looks at all three of you and says, are you sure you can afford a drink here? Excuse me. I believe that I can.

I don't want to cause any embarrassment. How much? It will cost you five gold for a drink. I'll cover it. I just give him five gold. We also have a 20 gold minimum. I don't think I wrote down how much gold I have. I have 15 gold.

Do we know? We know. How close are we? Do we know the financial sitch of all the party members? Well, you have 15 gold. How much of... Do we know... We know... How close are we? Do we know the financial sitch of all the party members? Well, you have 15 gold. How much do you have, Shanks? It should be bottom in the middle. I had 15 and then I didn't write down how much I spent on the rapier,

but I think I spent four on repairing my rapier. We'll call it four then. So you have 11 gold. Okay, cool. Shall we... So that'd be one drink for your friend and a drink each for yourselves. I think I have 25 gold for being a noble, but I didn't write a deal. You can get the 25 gold.

Yes. Well, I think perhaps it's your shout, Jacob. Out of fear, I pay. Pay for everyone? Yes. Well, mark off 20 gold pieces. The waiter looks a bit incredulous at the money. Like he doesn't

trust that it's real, but he accepts it. Do you think it's fake peasant? Oh my god. I'm not the one in soiled clothing, he says, looking at your blood-stained outfit. Some of us earn our living. We all

earn our living, unless we're filthy peasants. He walks away. That felt like we all came to an agreement. I scanned the room and with perception I figured does this guy have a, can I see this guy's boss?

There is a Mater D. That would probably the Mater D would probably outrank him. Okay, cool. I follow the waiter. There is a maitre d'. That would probably... The maitre d' would probably outrank him. Okay, cool. I... No, I follow the waiter. Can I get to, like, a back room with the waiter? You get up and follow the waiter? Yeah, I get up and follow the waiter.

He's fucking pissed me off. The waiter's going behind the counter and into the kitchen. Okay, is he alone? He won't be. You won't be able to follow him, is what I'm saying. Okay, fine. Then whatever. When he's out of eyeshot, I disguise myself to look like the waiter, and I go up to the

maitre d' and say, hey, fuck you, fucking job i hate this fucking place and you know what fuck it and i take off my clothes and like start pissing on the maitre d and then i like scarf her away and take off my disguise before i can be caught and like casually walk back in you've just done a lot There's a lot to do here Yeah my tactic is like You're also using your only disguised self for today Yeah fuck this guy I want to ruin his employment opportunities

Now who lives in scraps motherfucker Okay Maybe I should just at the end of it No this is good You go to the maitre d' You transform as him You go into the toilets First you go into the toilet

Transform in the toilet You come back out Highs or lows? Lows At one point While you're undressing You're getting your pants off, and the man you have transformed into

comes back out of the kitchen. The maitre d' who was shocked before becomes very shocked now, looking between the two of you. What do you do at this point? I say, shoot him! He's the clone! And I point at him.

He doesn't have a weapon. What are you doing? And also when I do that, I go, rah! Do you have anything to help with a skill check? Yeah, I do.

I do. No, I have saving throws. Oh, no. Plus one D8 after making a skill or attack roll. You'll want to do that. Okay, yep.

Put that back in the good boy pile. Do you have anything else? I do. Here, have one D6. Put that back in the good boy pile. Do you have anything else? I got one of these. No. Well, in that case, I'm going to use one of my bad boy cards

to give you a negative. Will Trisco's plan work? How possibly could it? It makes no sense and he gave me the finger. But maybe. Find out next time on Trouble in Orwa, a D&D is for Nerds fifth ed adventure. Thanks for listening.

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