D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #14 Entering the City

Episode Date: December 17, 2022

We start in the Vistani tradition: with a story. The party tries to sneak Pip into Vallaki with varying amounts of success. Pip reluctantly stops an abduction while Hecktor lets some very important information slip that certainly won’t have grave consequences. We assure you.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, we are nevertheless marooned, trapped in this nightmare of my homelands, a place called Barovia. While my people may come and go as we please, for you these mists are as voles

and the vampire Strahd Von Zarovich, your warden. The Vistani here, as you approach, they spot you, and a big cry goes through. Hector! Hector! They bring you in. They love you. You can smell something pleasant is cooking. They give you an old-fashioned hunk, a drumstick, a massive drumstick of something,

and a flagon of ale. Oh, thank you so much. You are so very kind. A pleasure, a pleasure. The Vistani part, and Jackson is standing there. Welcome, welcome, friend. Thank you very much. I did not expect you to meet you again so soon. We were going to head on to, well, not to the village of Barovia, but we have just outside a place that we like to camp.

We typically do not go into the Barovia anymore. The village is simply too dangerous. But, well, we like to travel the area. We are the sort who prefer to be moving rather than staying. But we have stayed here for a few days, longer than we would normally. Madame Eva said that you were to arrive. She was not wrong. You have completed the first leg of your journey, yes?

I would assume so, yes. I find the first leg to always be the longest. But you are alone. If anything, you have lost companions since we last met. They are... Yes, they're all dead. How to phrase this. They were annoying

They're all a bunch of cunts They all had it up their ear In a way yes but in a way no They are off doing certain other things They figured it's best to tackle the approach from several different

fronts. Ah, yes, yes. Well, please, come, come, sit by the fire before you speak with Madame Eva. I assume that is what you are here for. Well, I mean, it's always lovely to have a chat with her, but honestly, it was always just as nice to talk to you. Of course, of course. Sit.

Do you remember the custom, he says, as everyone else begins sitting down around the fire with food and drink? I have a thing. A story. A story! Yes! All the Kistani begin clapping. Yes! Would you like to start

us, our guest? I'm going to tell you a story of... How do I try and what am I? I want to use this as a opportunity to learn about Pip. In a kind of a weird, weedy way to be like, oh, I would like to tell a story,

but I think I need some help perhaps filling in some of the blanks of where it might be to go. You see, I am a sucker for almost a redemption arc, if you will. You know, a certain person who has maybe promised to do something heroic, but they fail, and they don't quite get it, what they're after. So he becomes a bit of a pariah.

He becomes almost loathed by the town, and some of his friends even start taking a disc like. Myself included. What are're talking about what we're talking about real son of a bitch actually kind of really fucking hate him that's a garbage

so I guess I apologize if I'm not coming in a bit of a full story but perhaps you might be able to help me with this one so we begin on a dark and gloomy night

a mage a wizard a magician if you will has promised to free a small little hamlet from this ogre tyrant but he cannot do it alone and so he of course he gets some great help he gets a lovely uh an elven archer who promises that when the time is right, she will fire her bow and it will ring through. She gets, the magician gets a dwarven bruiser, someone very good at being able to sweep the legs. And he says, I promise when the time is right, I will be right there.

I will take out the ogre tyrant's knees. And then he also gets a tiefling, a druid, a being that can transform into many crazy things. And he says to this magician that I will be there for you and don't worry. When the time is right, I will transform into the direst bear you've ever seen. And so the magician gets his crew together, as it were, and then when the time comes to march upon the ogre's castle, cave, the ogre's cave, the ogre comes out and demoralizes everybody

the magician stands ready flames pouring out of his fingertips and he goes to throw it and he's waiting for an arrow that does not come and he's waiting for a dwarven

legs to come from the side to kick out some knees that they just never appear. But this he knows and he'll hear the roar of a gyrus bear. That too does not come. So the ogre laughs in his face, grabs the magician, hurls him far away. That is where I need to leave the story because I don't know how to finish it.

Jackson leans in and says, it is a very good story. All the Vistani look around and they nod. You can see they've got wiry smiles. They kind of know what's going on. Jackson says, but unfortunately

it is your story to tell. You must decide what happens to the what did you say? Magician? Yes. The magician, the archer, the bruiser, and the bear.

It is for you to decide. Instead, let me tell you the greatest of all stories. A riddle. All of the Vistani clap in their relationship. Come on. Four men sit down to play. They play all night till break of day.

They play for money, not for fun. So tell me how each person won. So they each played for money and they had a... Vistani are kind of like looking among themselves, conversing. Jackson sits back and looks

really satisfied with himself in that way that Jackson always looks satisfied with himself. Jackson's doing it right now. It is a good look. It was four of them, yes. They weren't playing a game of cards. They play for money, not for fun.

But how can all of them win? I mean, if you play for cards, it's usually just one person winning, unless they checked out very early, which I don't think happened. Jackson nods. He's got like a little bit of a – what you're saying, he's got like a really kind of like self-satisfied – All right, all right. So we're taking off gambling. Can't be gambling.

It can't be gambling. Play. What else do you play? Do you play? Play. You play. I look around. Is there any instruments?

There's all over the place. This place is littered with instruments. I grab something, like either a string or something, and I'm like, and you play with your bandmates. And I just kind of strum a guitar. Ah. Yes, yes.

T'was music they played. Each band member was paid. The Vistani all, like, give a little clap at the riddle. They think it was quite clever. You assume they've heard it before. He's just got one. He's got one riddle.

He's got one riddle, but he loves it. It's good. Jackson reaches into his jacket and pulls out a feather for you. He hands it to you. Oh, thank you very much. It's a white feather, perhaps a dove's feather, you're not sure? Is it for writing? You could use it for writing

perhaps. You could keep it somewhere away and never look upon it. You could keep it somewhere close and look upon it each morning. Or you could sell it to a trader as a trinket. Whatever you do it says a lot about you.

Well, thank you very much. I sort of tuck it, like weave it sort of behind my ear using like – I've got longish hair. Sort of like weave it through there. I'd be like, thank you very much. At about this point, everyone's finished their food and drink. You get up and head over to Madame Eva. Yes, that's why I'm here.

Like sit down. That's Eva. Yes, that's why I'm here. Like sit down. That's right, oh my god. Meanwhile, what would you like to be doing with a go-gash? Well, how long do we give? Can we look down the road and see if he turns up? Yeah, you could. He's gone to the Vistani, he's not going into Valakai. Well, we could just go into Valakai on our own.

Yeah, I mean, as long as we're not together, I guess that's good. All right. What should I expect? Everybody keeps thinking I'm an expert on Valakai. It's the largest city. No, I mean, how will they... Will they treat you as an unpleasant sort,

or will they raise pitchforks and torches at sight of you? It's probably not going to be a pitchfork situation, not for everyone, but maybe for some people. All right, all right. We have to be kind of a case-by-case basis, really. Perhaps maybe it would be even clever if I hid you. How do you propose?

Just to the wagon, to the little car that you've got. Perhaps if we put a blanket or some tenting over you. I give a little kind of resigned nod. Yes, perhaps that would be best. I climb in, just the biggest frown on my face, and pull a blanket over my head. What should I say I'm here for? Just say you're a traveler, you're here to trade. Don't say you're here to trade, because they might look at me.

Say you're looking for work. All right. Ogogash trundles up towards the gates. One of the guards on the gates calls out, Ho, who goes there? I am Ogogash the Mighty. I am here as a traveler. Yes, fine.

Yes, yes, yes. All right, then. Let him fine. Yes, yes, yes. All right, then. Let him in. You hear the gate opening. A gogash enters. What sort of traveler's got a wagon like that, huh? Eyes are low. Should have had you here for work.

Lows. It is merely my equipment. I am from lands far from here. Don't say it's your equipment. You would not know it. Oh, yes, make the equipment incredibly enticing, why don't you? Huh. All right, then.

We'll just have a look. You hear people stepping up towards the wagon. No, I don't think that would be necessary. What? A hand grabs the tent? Get out. Like a big yawn like I was asleep. It's better for them to not think I was hiding from them, you know?

Sure, sure. What a wonderful morning it is. Isn't that not right, Ogoogash, my friend, for travelers? Ah, Ogogash says, a stowaway. My hand just into my hands. Oh, well, a stowaway and a friend. I put a hand on his shoulder. The town guard that you were looking at takes off his helmet and scratches his face.

Hi, Zoloz. Hi. All right, and who are you? I'm, uh... Ted. Alright, then. Ted, what are you on here for? I'm just like my friend a go-gash. We're travelers. We're just traveling through. You came from the same

place, did you? Yes, we both came from Krezok. Oh, okay, then. Well, on your gut. The guards look at each other like you're fucking weird and then. Well, on your gut. The guards look at each other like you're fucking weird and then they go back to their stations. I like flump down back into the wagon. I said to come

here for work. You said a lot of things. I suppose I did. But we made it through alive, so thank goodness for that. I'll direct you to the blue water inn. Alright, are you hiding again? How recognizable on sight am I gonna be? Well, not thank goodness for that. I'll direct you to the Blue Water Inn. Alright, are you hiding again? How recognizable on sight am I going to be? Well, not everyone is going to know

you. In Valakai, there is a chance that people will recognize you, but some people associated with what you did are a lot more likely. Like the Blue Water Inn, they're a lot more likely to know who you are. Yeah, actually, you know what, I'll go back down under the blanket. Alright. You trundled towards the

blue water inn. A go-gash kind of parks out the front. He leans over and whispers into the wagon, I will go in and book us a room, perhaps? Well, you do that. Just book a room for you and Hector. I think it's probably not super necessary for me to go into the inn. Alright.

I don't think I'll be... You can hear music coming from the inn. Would you like me to stable this? Yes, that's all. Alright then, I will go and get stabling for this as well. So at least you'll have cover from the rain. He leaks.

Oh, he just thinks you're going to sleep in the stable. You might just sleep in the stable. Just staring. Chaucer pipes up. Oh sorry, I guess I'm lying on your head, aren't I? No. You might just sleep in this table. Just staring. Chaucer pipes up. Oh, sorry. I guess I'm lying on your head, aren't I? No. I like swivel onto the side,

maybe take him out of the backpack and put him next to me. So do they know you here? Yes, something like that, Chaucer. I kind of got a little bit of, what do you say, an inkling that people were mad at you, but I didn't realize it extended so far. Excuse me, I

simply don't know the common ness of different I've just lived my entire life in one room. So is this like an aura that you project? No. Or have you wronged these people? Not really.

About a year ago, Chaucer, I made a pretty big mistake, and I'm sort of still suffering the consequences of it. And the mistake was so big that it affected a great many people. So everybody affected by that mistake still holds a grudge. And it was one of those mistakes with a lot of far-reaching consequences. And that's why I'm lying in a wagon under a blanket.

I hope you don't mind terribly if tonight I sleep inside. With a go-dash. I haven't anything against sleeping in a stable with you, but I do feel the cold a little bit. And it is less interesting.

Not to say that you're not interesting or that a go-gash is. Just, I mean... I put a finger up against his porcelain lips. I get it. When a gogash comes back, I'll tell him to take you inside. Thank you, he says. So somewhere here we shall find, though, a permanent home for me. Well, apparently.

Chaucer gets a little upset at you, but when he turns away, you can see him kind of like psyching himself up. Like, I know a great deal many things i would be a good teacher i an incredible companion i'd like to roll around on my side put one ear one hand over one ear and then one hand over the other ear and try to get some sleep not listening to his ramblings at a certain point a gogash returns and then moves the wagon into the stables. I don't know if I said this before but you can hear

from the tavern, you can hear the sounds of music and a lot of people all singing together. Staring, like lying on my back, staring just into the blanket of my face, muttering to myself, oh what a good situation you've found yourself in here Pip, well done. Really knocking it

out of the park on this one. In a wagon, in the cold, everyone's inside. Very smart. Very clever. A go-gash. Make sure that you have all the blankets and anything that you can to be comfortable. He probably also, at a certain point, he takes Chaucer. You tell him, I assume.

He takes Chaucer inside, and when he steps inside with Chaucer, you hear the entire tavern erupt with cheers. And then a few moments later, you hear Chaucer's voice joining the singing. Very clever, Pip. Any guy who comes into your camp with a nice smile and some big ideas, oh, well, let's just see where this goes. I'm sure it could be helpful. Look at you now.

Look at you now, Pip. At a certain point, a gogash comes out and he tucks underneath the tarpaulin for you a hot meal and some ale. Much obliged, a gogash. Not to worry. And he pats you like you were a dog over the tarpaulin and then he walks back inside. Feels good, doesn't it, Pip? Eating the meat under the hot meal underneath the blanket. Alright, meanwhile.

Fuck. As you walk up to Madame Eva's carriage, Hector, it starts raining and you look as a wagon pulled by a go-gash trundles towards the gates. A go-gash briefly looks your way, but makes a point of not engaging you. Yep.

All right. I guess I ascertain that Pip is in the back. That's clever. They've surely got this. Nothing bad can happen there. Everything's going to go well. I think to myself, oh, what a brilliant idea that both of them have come up with

in a great way. Yep, that makes sense. Really clever. Clever guys. Wish them luck because they've got this. Yeah, head towards Madam Eva's. You open the door.

As previous, it's heavily perfumed in here. You can see an ornate wooden table with a crystal orb atop it. And Madame Eva, in all of the splendor that she was previously, is haunched over it with her bony, crooked fingers wrapped around the orb. She doesn't acknowledge you as you enter, but as you close the door, she says in her willowy voice, Yes, Hector the Brave, the Beautiful. the door she says in her willowy voice yes hector the brave the beautiful the dragon slayer please be seated i um i have a seat i like i oh brave is nice um yep there it is The follies of youth. I say to basically no one.

You have come for another reading? Yes, I guess. I have a question, though. Please. She gestures with her hand. The light. Where is it? Do you know? The light can be found wherever you search.

It is within you, Hector, of you. But you must be careful, wary, not of the light's intention, but of the light's ability. of the light's ability. For, though you can see light anywhere here, Hector, you are seeing only your own. Right. Head to St. Andrew's Church. There you will be able to find more.

Thank you. Thank you. She nods. Gotta put my hand on her hand as if she'd like to thank you. Thank you. Thank you. She nods. Gotta put my hand on her hand as an intellectual thank you. Thank you. It's an unpleasant sensation.

I can imagine. It's papery. Yeah, it's like a glove filled with bones. Ew. That's gross. Yucko. Thank you so much.

I almost go to leave and then I remember. Yes, you have a vision. She waves a hand over the crystal ball and those figures begin to kind of fade in, the shadowy silhouettes. You can see now even more vibrantly than when she introduced them to you. You can now, the people that you've met are now actually visible. You can see their faces in the crystal ball. You see a Gogash the Mighty, Esmeralda, Gorob, and Lushen.

Now that you've met them and now that they're clearer, you can see that in the, previously you thought it was two people standing very close to each other, but now you can see it is clearly one person. And you see as well, Piran. it is clearly one person and you see as well pyrrhon four more people while you can still only see silhouettes they become slightly more more visible you can their silhouettes are less blurred now you can see their vague outlines two of them are short so maybe about the height of a toddler or rather a halfling yeah a halfling or a gnome. You highly doubt you're about to be told, ah, the toddler.

A very powerful card. But two of them are roughly human sized. Okay, okay, okay. Then she begins flipping cards. The first card is the Entertainer. You see like a jester. They have several balls that they're juggling. And with one of their feet, they're kind of kicking, you know, the little pins that they also juggle?

You can see that they're kicking the pins into the air. And an automatic piano is playing behind them. As the card is flipped, you can see that the balls and the pins are in motion in the air, and the piano is kind of almost like a cartoon playing itself, like the entire thing is moving and the keys are running up and down.

The entertainer. She smiles. It's a massive, cracked grin, but genuine pleasure. What a pleasant little fellow. I hope he finishes his song. I see them singing and dancing.

You will find them where deep water turns to beer. In a pub. All right. She flips the next card, and you can see the words are mother and child, and you see a woman who is holding a baby to herself. She's a toddler. Oh, my God. She is surrounded with images of nature, like trees and bushes,

and a deer you can see peering, almost as if it's trying to see past the trees and bushes, and a deer you can see peering, almost as if it's trying to see past the trees and bushes. Mother and child is a card of the past and the future. Mother represents the past, what has come before. And child represents the future, What shall come to pass? A good past should nurture a healthy future. Well, that can't be pure. They are hidden.

I see why. Evil forces hunt them. Eyes scour the land searching. But they cannot bear to be away from their family. Somewhere in the forests nearby, they camp. She gestures around like she means the forests around here. Okay. She flips the next card.

This one says the Archmage. She flips the next card. This one says the Archmage. You see on a cliff face, like a jutting out, like pride rock from the Lion King, the archetypical wizard. He's got massive purple billowy robes, the big purple hat. All of them have stars and moons on them. Louie robes, the big purple hat. All of them have stars and moons on them. His hands are outstretched and his gnarled, wizened hands, similar to Madame Eva's hands, actually, stretch out before him. You can see lightning crackles from his fingers and his lips move as if he's casting a spell.

Raw power, unchained. The Archmage is the embodiment of intellect or wisdom. But look at how high they sit. It is the highest of us who fall the furthest. Wounded, he bides his time. I see wilderness and a great body of water. He faces it from the north. And then the final card flips.

This one says Crusader and Grail. You see a knight, a strider horse. Both of them look angelic and beautiful. It's you. That's me. As the card shifts, you can see that the horse has wings. They spread out. And you realize that the figure is actually, you thought it was a blow shot of the figure going over you.

But you realize they're actually riding, sailing through the air. The figure holds the sword out. And you can see through their helmet, you only see their eyes. But their eyes are determined and focused. They look like they are on a holy mission. The Crusader lives for their religion. But for the Grail, the Crusader will die. The Grail will be immensely helpful on your journey.

But the Crusader guards it carefully. I see angels and saints. They stare down upon them with kind eyes, but stony expressions. They stand on holy ground. Madame Eva leans back in her chair, and you can see the effort of this reading has exhausted her. Thank you. She nods. Good luck, Hector.

I wish you a speedy journey. Where will I meet you again? She takes a deep breath. I see. Your future tells me we will meet again very soon. We will stay here for a few days more. Perhaps by then I will have recovered. Okay.

Will you rest up? She nods. I get up to leave. You head out, and where do you want to go next? Hmm. Well, mother and child. When Madame Eva mentioned the forest, was it like where the camp was?

As in like where the, this, so, because their procession is not with that Vistani and Dusk Elves, yeah? No, that's a separate group. That's a separate group. And it's like, will the wilderness, was that referring to the forest around here or was that referring to maybe? She gestured in a very broad thing. Like she kind of meant just around this area but if you gaze around you're in a valley right now valakai is in the deepest the lowest part of barovia beyond just a valley it is also very very sparse with trees you have left the svalic woods for the

most part but as you look around you can see that is, the trees are the thickest near that encampment. I'd like to look over to Valakai, look at the encampment. Oh, they've got it covered. I'll head to the encampment. The woods part to reveal an expansive clearing, a small grass-covered hill with low houses built into its sides. Fog obscures the details, but you can see that these buildings feature elegantly carved woodwork and have decorative lanterns hanging from their sculptured eaves atop the hill above the fog is a ring of barrel-topped wagons and tents that surround obviously the tents are not also

but you can see wagons and tents that surround a large tent with a column of smoke pouring out through a hole in the top. The tent is brightly lit from within. Even at this distance, you can smell the odors of wine and horses that emanate from this central area. Is there like an entrance-ish kind of way, or is it all just like a major encampment? Yeah, there's no entrance per se. There is a road, I suppose, like a little

trail that leads up the hill. I'll take the trail. You can see that this place is predominantly, this community is predominantly two different peoples. It is the Vistani who you recognize as being very colorful in their clothing. They seem to be

in good spirits compared to a lot of other native Barovians that you've met. They're walking around just doing their own business. Some of them maybe nod or pleasantly smile at you, and sometimes it feels genuine. Sometimes it feels like it betrays some other

intent, but they're doing their own thing for the most part. None of them bother you. I try and act as surreptitiously as possible, but I guess it's hard to do that. You're an angel boy. You stand out. Purple skin, eyes glow.

It's one of those things. Aside from that, you spot, presumably, dusk elves. As Pip mentioned, they do bear a striking resemblance to Drow, but you can see they are quite obviously, well, it is not truly, it's always overcast in Baronia. So there's no like sun that's shining down on anything. But even just being outside is enough for drow to be like, ah, that fucking sun. and sun. So that these,

and even in these conditions, you imagine that these dusk elves do not share the drow's complete aversion to sunlight. Also, they are not as deep in color. You see that they are more ashen in color for the most part. Additionally, as they're walking around, you spot, or you register

that there are only male dusk elves. You don't see a single female Dusk Elf. Interesting. Is it any young Dusk Elves? No, no children either. So it's just male Dusk Elves. Yeah. Interesting.

Interesting. Okay. I'll sort of like wander around to see if there's anything like, if anyone, is there like almost like a market, as it were, or a store or something you can buy some things at? You get to the wagons up the top, but you don't see anything other than the buildings, the wagons and the tents. There doesn't appear to be anything set up like that. Like, is there a place to buy a drink or to like eat or something along those lines?

Somewhere communal kind of? Yeah. If you get to the center, there is a communal space and there is like a fire pit and some food and some drink and stuff like that. But as you enter there, this area here is, there's no Dusk Elves, there's only Vistani. And while they don't stop you or anything like that, they look at you like you're quite clearly, they're like, this is a private event.

Oh, I would never. I would never. If I'm getting the vibe, I'm not going to sit down and sort of drink like that. I'm just kind of either, basically what I'd like to do is go somewhere where I can either have a drink and basically like going to a barkeep and hitting that heard any rumors button. I see what you're saying. Yeah.

This does not seem like that. This seems kind of like a more permanent version of Madame Eva's procession. So, like I said, there's wagons here, but the tents look more permanent in nature. This does not have the vibe of like you're going to find a storefront. This is like an insular community sort of thing yeah right as you walk out maybe one of the dusk elves sees that you're kind of just walking around he strides over to you can i help you i was looking for a place to drink and i guess i've never seen anything quite like this before, that kind of gesture. I'm new.

Oh, well, this is a camp of sorts. I suppose there's nothing stopping you from staying here, but I would not linger for long if I were you. This is a place of tragedy, as much as any place around here could be. I feel like you might be more comfortable within Valakai unless you have specific business with someone here. I am looking for somebody, a mother and a child.

The Dusk Elf's face becomes very stony and a bit distant. I don't know if you'll find any such here. Oh. Why are you looking for a woman and child um i believe they can help me with something uh i've been told that um it might be higher his stony expression you can see it's a shield of pain but beneath that you can see that when you said a mother and child it like sparks something in him a spark of recognition look I in a

former life of mine I used to be a I guess a holy man a priest anything you want to get off your chest you seem pained and I you seem aed you seem

a great tragedy has befallen my people he says about a year ago it's never good to hear it's like a I assume you are aware of the devil he pauses for a second and you realize he was going to say Strahd

but then he stops himself and like a mental tick he wanted to but then he stops himself. And like a mental tick, he wanted to, but then he doesn't. And instead he says, the beast. I threw the gesture. He does the same, and he says, Strahd. Apparently he is my jailer. Yes, yes.

Well, about a year ago, there was an uprising of sorts. Lead. Well, it's not important. There was a mage, correct? Yes, a mage. I've heard about this mage. Poor man, unfortunate. Yes, and their friend.

I don't want to lead on because it seems like a mage and a friend. And... I don't want to, like, lead on, because it seems like... And their friend. Anyway, the mage, he came to us with his general, and they pled their case. Our people, we are not... We are of the Fae. This is, he gestures, this is as far from the Fae wild as one can be.

Our people struggle here to meek out an existence even more so than the Barovians. It's a place devoid of joy and hope. And he gave us, they gave us, hope for something better, for the death of Strahd. He does the gesture. I copy. something better for the death of strad he does the gesture i copy um for his death and for our release from this place and our people rose with them and we were put down brutally strad i shudder to remember what he did to barovia but to my people here, he decided that we would end. And he did not want to make it fast.

He wanted to extend our suffering as much as possible. So he killed every woman he could. And now we are what we are, destined to die out. I'm so sorry for your loss. He nods. Please, come back to mine. You want food and drink?

You would be so as a hospital. I would appreciate that. He takes you back to one of the buildings, the little dwellings inside. He opens the door and you step inside. There's a few other people living here. You get the impression that they live kind of communally. You can see, though, that that was not always the case.

You can see that this used to be a family's home, but now it is just a shared home with a bunch of people. You get the immediate impression, actually, maybe they even just tell you, that as a community, once this tragedy befell them, they decided that they would not die alone. And so they made a commitment that they would kind of share houses like this. Right.

I have no words. Sorry, I'm Hector. My name is Mark Quillett. I have only been in Barovia now for probably a couple of weeks, maybe less. I've been informed that the reason I am here and the reason I am trapped here is because of the—I do the gesture. He copies you. Everyone—when you say—not everyone realizes you're about to say Strahd, but when you say Strahd, everyone in the house does the little gesture. I guess I'm of the—I guess where you were a year ago.

If someone came to me and offered me freedom, I would have signed up in a heartbeat. And I still want to do that. I still want to get out of here. I am going to get out of here. Mark Willett nods like he's heard this before. Meanwhile, Pip, you're underneath a blanket, underneath a tarpaulin in the wagon. You hear some scuffling noises,

and you hear someone say, Get your hands off me! I'd like to flip around onto the blanket and then crawl to the edge of the wagon and lift up the tarpaulin to have a little peep outside. You can see a man is being grabbed by two other people. These two other people Yeah, you rolled high enough. These two other people

have just glassy blank expressions and they're quite clearly trying to grab and then capture this person. What's the person look like? He looks like a native Barovian. What are you doing?

Alright, I'll whip my crossbow out and I'll fire two bolts just into their legs just to Looks like a native Barovian. What are you doing? Fuck. All right. I'll whip my crossbow out and I'll fire two bolts just into their legs just to try and stop them from attacking this man. Is this club up? Assault? Yeah, sure. You tear one of their legs off. He falls over.

The other one gets shot in the leg. Still with that blank expression like nothing's happening. They look at you, then turn around and run. Okay. The man. One's hopping, I guess. Thank you. Yeah, that's fine.

Heyselers. Heys. Thank you very much. You're welcome. What the? They looked enchanted. They were enchanted. I do not know.

He looks at the guy whose leg you destroyed. I hope they were enchanted they were enchanted I do not know he looks at the guy who's like you destroyed I hope they were enchanted this man we work together I do not understand what is happening

he staggers a little bit you can tell that he's a bit drunk I'll like look around and slide out of the wagon you're at the back of the blue water inn

so what happened they just jump you they just leapt out of nowhere wagon. You're at the back of the blue water inn. So what happened? They just jump you? They just leapt out of nowhere and attacked you? We were drinking together. We had finished work. We were drinking together and everything seemed normal. And then when we stepped out into the back here, they just changed. They attacked me.

I don't know what was happening. I don't know either, pal. I mean, it looked like they were enchanted in some capacity they had the glassy fish expression of somebody under some kind of magical spell uh but otherwise that would they know any sorcerers or something i'm going to fetch the gods uh can you do me a favor? For saving your life, feasibly. Just don't mention that I was here. How's that sound? Who are you?

My name's dead. He nods slowly. He is just not going to question it further than that. I give him two thumbs up and then I'm like, I probably can't even stay in the wagon. And I might just kind of steal off into the night. All right. Where do you want to head? Is the person

whose leg just shot, they dead or they bleeded out? I don't know. Oh, they're lying on the ground. I thought they hopped away. The other person ran away. Yeah, I'll go check. Just give me a second. Do you want to save this person's life?

Yeah, they're just a guy. Well, you're fucking up. They die. Oh. That's a shame. Did you know this one well? Yes, his name was Carl. Oh, well, I apologize.

We worked together. You were in trouble. No, I mean, I knew him, but I didn't. I don't know. This was the first time we have interacted outside of work. He just wanted to. They invited me to. I'm going to get the guards.

Yeah, all right. You do that. I wasn't here. Best of luck. Sorry about Carl. He nods. He wanders away. Not wanders.

He probably runs. All right. All right. Do you want me to tell you about what you know?ers. He probably runs. All right. All right. Do you want me to tell you about what you know? Yeah. Tell me what I know in Valakai. There's the town square. Best place for me to go.

Lenski's toys. Uh-huh. There's the, you're at the Blue Water Inn. Yeah. Suppose you could try to hide there. There's Watcher House, which is where the second most powerful person in Valakai lives. And the Burgermaster's Mansion, which is where the Burgermaster lives. I don't want to go to either of them.

There's also the St. Andral's Church. There's a few shops, and there's St. Andral's Orphanage. Do you want to know the shops? I don't know if that'll help you. No, you know what? I'm going to flip up a hood over my face and steal into the blue water inn and hopefully I'll get lost in the crowd.

Okay. It's quite busy tonight. So you feel like you've got a decent chance of that. Damp cloaks hang from pegs in the entrance portcullio. The tavern is packed with tables and chairs with narrow paths meandering between them. A bar stretches along one wall under a balcony that can be reached by a wooden staircase that hugs the north wall.

Another balcony overhangs an entrance to the east. All windows are fitted with thick shutters and crossbars, which you know is a very classic security measure that a lot of Barovians take. Lanterns hanging above the bar and resting on the tables bathe the room in dull orange light and cast shadows upon the walls, most of which are adorned with wolf heads mounted on wooden plaques. The Blue Water Inn, as always, is, well, no, this is the busiest you've ever seen the Blue Water Inn, but it is always pleasant in the Blue Water Inn. It's warm and inviting. It feels like you've stepped out of Barovia for a brief second. Especially lying under a... Imagine I'm wet, so it's nice to be in here. You're a bit sodden as well, so this is quite pleasant.

There's a roaring fire. A lot of people are singing and dancing. I would say very easily, especially if you pull a hood up, most native Barovians would recognize you as an adventurer but they wouldn't recognize you beyond that okay i'll take it yeah i feel like you'd go pretty well unnoticed on one of the tables there everyone's kind of turned towards the center of this room standing on the table with a loot in his hands with a kazoo held in his mouth by a little metal like you, you know, the classic thing.

He's got in between his legs symbols, which are clasping together. And then underneath one foot, he has an accordion, which is going up and down. A grung is playing a song. A grung? Yeah, a grung. In between blowing into the kazoo, he begins singing a song. This is a song that I have written. This is a song for you to listen.

This is the name of the song. My songs begin with their name. This is the way I write my songs. What should I write next? Pip receives an instant headache. Quite the contrary. It is maddeningly catchy. This is my song. All of my songs I write the name of the actual lyrics themselves are

devastating mentally you cannot consider them yeah but the tune and somehow the way he says them yeah make it pleasant almost like magic is layered into the music itself. Perhaps there is magic layered into the music, but the ultimate effect, he is a really good performer. You understand immediately. Why everyone's looking at him, yeah, fair enough. Everyone's having an absolute blast. Can I see a go-gash in Chaucer? Yeah, you see a go-gash in Chaucer.

Chaucer has a little mug of water in front of him that he's quite obviously not really drinking from. It's just kind of like a social thing. Yeah, of course. A go-gash is a big tankard and is throwing it back and forth, the ale sloshing from side to side. Now, Pip,

you could try to go up to the bar and order a drink, but you are aware that the Martikov family who run the Blue Water Inn are very well acquainted with you and would have a very good chance of recognizing you. I'd stay pretty well away from the actual bar.

Okay. Maybe even just at the back wall of the inn. Maybe I don't even go up to a Gauguin and Chaucer. I'm just going to kind of find a little quiet place if I can. Quiet. Not a quiet place, but somewhere where there's not so many people and just sit down at one of the circular tables. The rain outside begins to get so heavy that you

are first off glad that you're inside. But then it becomes to get so heavy that it almost drowns out the music. Oh, wow. The little grung man begins. He kind of like the current song that he's playing dies down a little bit and everyone

you know yeah claps cheers money is thrown at him and there's a little like a massive sorry did i say little i meant a massive wide-brimmed hat that all the money is being collected into there's a little pile in there that's great after everyone's died down and after all the money has been thrown forward he slows down again and everyone's looking expectantly at him. And then with his free foot, the one that isn't standing on an accordion, he makes like a rhythm that you can tell is in tune with the rain outside. And the entire crowd, everyone begins clapping. I'll tap my foot along to it. And he begins a new song, just rhythmically pounding. He doesn't play any instrument. He just begins clapping. I'll tap my foot along to it. And he begins a new song just rhythmically pounding. He doesn't play

any instrument. He just begins singing. This is my rain song. The song that I make as I sing to the rain. Shouldn't be catchy, but here we are. Something about it, you could

not describe it, but something about it you could not describe it but something about it this song fucking slaps well yeah I just sit and listen to this grung sing and try to keep myself as inconspicuous as possible grungs are the little frog lads

yeah yeah yeah this is good at the end of this song everyone's absolutely deafening with their roars of approval. Yeah, I'm clapping too. People absolutely loved that he used the rain as an instrument, basically. He gives a big bow and then begins collecting all of the money that has been thrown at him in the hat. He has to lift. The hat is straining under the weight of the coins.

And he bows. People are absolutely devastated that he is finishing his routine. His set. Yeah, but he starts clambering down off the table. People are chanting encore, encore, encore. But the little Grung, now no longer visible. You imagine.

He's putting up a hand. You imagine he puts up a hand. No, no, no. And then he wanders over to the table. He sits on one of the little bar stools there, puts the money down on the table, and orders himself a drink and some food. A plate of eggs is brought out for him. And a mug of water, which you see the bartender

takes a salt shaker and just kind of up, which you see the bartender takes a salt shaker and just kind of upends it into the mug. Oh, okay. Does the grunt look happy? He looks ecstatic. Actually, you know what? He didn't even order this. He sits down and this is brought to him, quite clearly his favorite meal.

It's his signature food. He begins eating the eggs like a duck. Just swallowing. And he intersperses that with drinks from the salt water. How big is his head versus the eggs? Yeah, great question.

His head is big enough to, if he closes his mouth around the egg, you can see that it has altered the shape of his head. Good. Yeah, I watch with a kind of disgusted fascination, watching him suck down the eggs. Is it the kind of thing now where, like, if I moved over to a go-gash and Chaucer... Things are quietening down, yeah.

But do I think I would be more noticeable if I did that? No, actually probably less. At this point, now that there's a single focus, the single noise is kind of left. No one is leaving just yet, so everyone's turning to have their own conversations. And the noise is becoming almost deafening, but really hard to distinguish anything through. Cool.

Well, then maybe I'll sidle over to Chaucer and Agogash and sit up next to them. Agogash looks a little surprised to see you, but claps a big old meaty hand on your back. I go to explain and then... Nearly killing you. Yeah, I go to explain and then stop myself and be like, yeah, yeah, I just came inside because it's warmer here.

It is good to see you inside. You're telling me. I don't know if I should go and order a drink for myself. A good guy puts up a hand. He gets up and orders you a drink. I don't say anything to Chaucer. We're having a fight. Chaucer seems more interested in the crowd, to be honest.

This is the most people he's ever seen by a lot. Actually, maybe I do talk to him. I'm like, you could stay here. Yes. I don't feel like I would get my proper respect here. And also people keep nudging and I am but plaster. Yeah, that's a good point. If I get nudged and fall.

Yeah, that's you pretty much kaput. Yes. I don't fancy to find out what life is like is just a mouth. Yes. Yeah, that's you pretty much kaput, huh? Yes, I don't fancy to find out what life is like is just a mouth. Yes. Yeah, fair enough. I'm sure you'll find somewhere nicer, probably. Yes. Yep. Meanwhile,

in the Dusk Elf house, may I ask, what is it that you... Please, do you know... Maybe I met them. Do you... What else do you know, maybe I met them. Do you, what else do you know about this mother and child? Are they Barovian? Well, honestly, I don't even know if they are a mother and child.

I do know that they are related. And I do know that they are being hunted by evil forces. And that they are hiding or being hidden, but they do not want to be away from their family. So I would assume that they are Barovian, native Barovian. But if I am to believe something, and I do believe this, that they will help me in at least trying to take down. I do the gesture.

They all imitate, everyone in here. You can see now everyone is listening to you. I do not want to give you any false hope. Mark Willett nods. I may know who it is you're looking for. I cannot. We, you mean to face Strahd? Is that what you're saying?

Everyone does the same gesture? Yeah, do the same thing. Yes, but I don't... We lost a lot the last time we came to the aid of someone saying that they would strike Strahd down. Gesture. I do know who it is you speak of, perhaps, but it is very risky.

I will take you to them, and you can make your case to them rather than me. It is their risk to bear. We have gestures about the house to everyone else we have little left to lose of course and i would never ask you to risk what um what you have he nods he stands up and he says uh do you have a cloak uh no i i do not he gestures to near the door. There are several cloaks hung on pegs. Grab one. You'll want to hide yourself.

And this, I think it goes without saying that what I am about to show you is not something that you should share. Of course. You both put on cloaks. You throw the hoods over. Got a cloak. Yes. Yeah, nice. Warm.

Add one cloak to inventory. He takes you out into the wilderness. As you move out, he looks over his shoulder towards the Vistani encampment. He looks back at you, Hector, and he says, Beware these Vistani specifically.

Some of them are in the employ of Strahd. Yes, I think I have, well, not these ones in particular, but more of the nature. I would broadly beware of anyone that I did not know in this place. Well, thank you so much for putting some trust in me. He looks you up and down and he says, I have the utmost certainty that should you prove to be a spy of Strahd,

she will dispatch you like she has the rest. Alright. I just like... Okay. I do have a... I think I've got Esmeralda's cloak she lent me. Oh yeah, you do too. You're super cozy. If you've got that, then you don't get a cloak. Yeah, I don't want to get the cloak.

Yeah, what the hell? You're getting cloak fucking... He turns around, sees you've got two cloaks. Wait, none of this. Cloak greedy. Cloak greedy. You die, Hector, in the mud and the rain. Cloak covered in. Killed.

Covered in your two cloaks. Yeah, enjoy your beauty. Who do you think you are? Yes, I love, yes, you say, Esmeralda's cloak. You begin traveling, setting forth into the wilderness. You can see Marquillot quite purposely takes you down a specific path, then stops, pulls you aside, and you wait for a moment. You spot a figure has followed you through the forest

and is walking kind of stealthily behind you. Marquillot's just holding you up against a tree and has put a hand over your mouth. He whispers to you, do not engage them. Let them think that they've just lost us. I nod without saying anything. The figure walks past,

and you see underneath their cloak, you see a flash of very colorful clothes, but then they keep going off into the forest. Mark Quillett drags you aside, and then you keep moving in a different direction. The rain has become so heavy that it feels like a hand is pushing you down.

I wrap my cloak a bit tighter. There is very little that the cloak can do at this point. You are very thoroughly drenched. In a clearing, you spot a tent. You would have not noticed it

for what it was unless you came in it from this specific direction. You can see that it is covered in very purposeful camouflage from all directions except this one. This one, there is just the slightest opening, and within the opening

you can see a single dusk elf crouched down and doing something in the middle of the tent. As you approach, her eyes dart upwards, and you can see that she was stringing a bow. She pulls the bow taut, and the arrow is pointed directly at your heart. Mark Quillett puts a hand on your shoulder, steps forward and says, It is okay. He's with me. I just have my hands up. Are you a servant of the Devil's Strahd? No.

No? She slowly rises to her feet and steps out of the tent, still holding the bow drawn firmly at you. Mark Quillett takes a step away. Like a hunter stalking prey, slowly begins to prowl at you. Mark Quillett takes a step away. Fair. Like a hunter stalking prey,

slowly begins to prowl towards you. What is your name? My name is Hector. Hector, that is all? Hector Dragonsbane. She begins slowly stalking around you. Why have you come here, Hector Dragonsbane? Because I had a reading that I would find people that would help me in my quest if I help them in this. What is your quest? To get a friend her father back.

This friend and their father. I see they live in a faraway land. That is correct, yes. To leave this place, one must be ready to face Strahd. Do you know this? That is what I've been told, yes. My people faced Strahd not long ago. Do you know what happened to us? I've recently heard. She's kind of like moved so that she's behind you now how do you feel about this hector dragon's bane well i'm deeply sorry it is a tragedy a great one she begins you can see her in the periphery of your left side now as she begins to completely circumnavigate you as you and as you as she comes into your left-eyed periphery, you spot for the first time she's standing in such a way that you can see just ever so slightly a bump on her chest. Facing Strahd is a dangerous prospect. Few survive. Even fewer prevail. Even in the smallest of tasks.

Fewer prevail, even in the smallest of tasks. I've heard that the uprising did not go as well as it could have. I will help you, Hector. Dragons Bane. Strahd Bane. In exchange, I want your help. Anything you'd like. Destroying the monster that did this to my people.

I want your help. She lowers her bow, killing Pip Mandarin. I do not know if I can help you kill Pip Mandarin, but I do know where he is. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! They're gonna tear me a fucking... Tear me to bits! On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner.

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