D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #15 For Love

Episode Date: December 24, 2022

Unbeknownst to the party, Vallaki is infiltrated by wolves. Pip has a very tense conversation with a bartender while Hecktor starts to think he made a tiny huge mistake.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, we are nevertheless marooned, stranded in this place called Barovia. To change metaphors, we are imprisoned. The mist that surrounds us are prison bars, and Baron Strahd von Zarovich our warden.

I have known many evil men such as him, and if fate is to be believed, I will know many after. Meanwhile, away from the Blue Water Inn, and not far enough away from the campsite that Hector currently finds himself in, many poured creatures begin slowly closing in on Valakai from the west. What did I do to these wolves? Two guards from the Valakai militia are slowly walking their way around the outer perimeter. One of them thinks for a brief moment that they see something in the brush. are slowly walking their way around the outer perimeter. One of them thinks for a brief moment that they see something in the brush. They point to their companion and both look. Unbeknownst to them, the diversion has worked.

Three diarist wolves set upon them. The sentries are killed quickly and quietly and dragged away. The sentries are killed quickly and quietly and dragged away. The diarist wolves already know enough about Valakai's defenses. These gods will not be missed for a little while at least. Several more diarist wolves slowly slink their way towards the walls of Valakai. They, forming a small pyramid, grant enough height to a final diarist wolf to launch itself off their back, up the wall, and onto Valakai's walls.

God damn it. It slinks away into the mist. These fucking wolves. Pop the chicken was meant to deal with them. He's let me down again. The doors to the Blue Water Inn crash open and a member of the town militia steps in. We are looking for anyone who may know of a crime that occurred around the exterior of this building both moments ago. I try to inconspicuously pull my hood over my face.

I guess my big fucking dragonborn snout's poking out of it, so it's hard to hide. Danica Martikov, the wife of Davian Martikov, usually tends bar. Pip, you already know this. She stands behind the bar, folds her arms, and very just aggressively and grumpily looks at the guards as they move from group to group asking questions. Oh, shit.

You know that the Mardukovs don't particularly like the town militia and the town militia don't particularly like the Mardukovs, but they keep an uneasy truce for the most part. She begrudgingly allows the guards to do this. Eventually, they begin to close in on your group. Pip, what would you like to do? Look, at this point, running would be way more suspicious than staying put, so I'm just going to try and bank on the fact that they've

never met me before. Pull back your hood. Of course, I say. Yeah. Pull my hood back. Who are you? My name is Ted. Ted, is it? Yes.

What are you doing here? You are not local. No, we are just passing through. From behind the bar, Danica has noticed that you are chatting to the guards. Fuck, fuck, fuck. For a brief moment, Pip, you and Danica lock eyes. She, it's just a very brief thing, just very quickly, like shock and then outrage. One after the other passes over her face. Then her face becomes a stony mask. She's not giving anything to the town militia, but she's recognized you.

Awesome. Awesome stuff. Cool. Do not stay in Valakai for long. You may temporarily live here at the Blue Water Inn, but if we call for you, I expect you to be here. Much obliged. Move on as soon as possible.

And remember, he hands you a little flyer. All is well in Valakai. I glance up to see if Danica is looking at me. Danica is no longer behind the bar. She's gone. Shit. I'm going to get fucking the shit beat out of me.

No, there's nowhere safe for me. Why did I come back to this stupid fucking city? All right. You start looking around the bar, and you can see Slaldar and Yevengi. They are brothers, hunters, trappers, if you will. You can see Danica is standing next to their table while the guard still moves around.

You can see she's standing next to their table, talking to them, just polishing a glass of something. They look at her, then turn around to look at you. Both of them lost their sister in the past year, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I do. And when they spot you, their looks become very dark why did i come back they stand up and leave the tavern no i can't leave the tavern they'll be waiting outside fuck what do you do uh the town militiamen are still moving around asking questions okay i'm probably gonna wait till the town but if i wait till there i'm probably protected to

be honest whilst they're here, because I don't think Danica's going to want to wallop me while the guards are here. Okay, they went out the front, yeah? I'm going to go to the little boys' room, I say, to a go-gash, and I'd like to try and slip out. Is there a back exit? Yeah, there's a back exit. I'd like to try and slip out

the back exit. As you move towards the back exit, Danica shoots you a very dangerous look, and then begins moving to Danica shoots you a very dangerous look and then begins moving to intercept you. You realize the dangerous look is, it's like a don't do that, kind of like a threaten. Okay. I turn around

and I go back to a go-gash. It went away. I say. At one point when the militiamen are like really far away, maybe on the other side of the tavern, Danica moves over towards you and... I'm white knuckling on the table. She looks at a gogash.

She looked very mean expression towards you, but then turns to a gogash and her expression is immediately pleasant and lovely. And she says, a gogash was it? A gogash nods. I only told you my name once i'm surprised that you could have such a good memory danica pauses for a second then nods and says why don't you help yourself uh at the the bar please and take your good friend, too. Both of you, a free drink on the house. A go-gash

looks at you, Pip. Do I think they're gonna attack me? It's just Danica. Yeah, okay. Her family lives here, you know that. I'm probably gonna get chewed out, but I don't think I'm gonna get hit. And honestly, it's probably better for a go-gash to not be here whilst this

happens. So I give him a little nod, like yeah, it's okay better for a go gash to not be here whilst this happens so like give him a little nod like yeah it's okay a go gash picks up chaucer and both of them head over to the bar danica sits down at your table sets the glass down in between the two of you and the rag next to it hello danica what are you doing here i don't want to be here any more than you want me to be here i'm wrapped up in in some bullshit. I'll be gone within the day. I promise. I would be careful if I were you. There is talk of dark things, tidings within town. More dark than usual?

She nods. There is something wrong. I think part of why the militiamen are here. People are being taken. I look around. The crime outside, I saw two gentlemen, glassy eyes, trying to take another gentleman away.

He said he knew them. He worked with them. You can see she's pondering things. She's got a very pensive look. The brothers, Solbar and Yevgeny, they are mad. Many people within town are mad i know they are especially mad they have been hunting you for the past year do you know this i suspected

i say they wish to kill you yeah and normally i would not stop them. I know. But these events, they are disquieting. Dalekai is, compared to the rest of Barovia, relatively safe, or it has been. I'm not in agreement. If you could help with this issue, I could see to it that the brothers leave you alone. could see to it that the brothers leave you alone i uh i like maybe like put a hand out not on her hand but just like on the table like a kind of like a gesture of you know anything i i know how great my debt is so anything i will tell you what i know. These disappearances, whatever you want to call them, they have been happening for at least two, three months now. Okay.

Maybe I flipped open a manual demonster and I'm writing it down in the margins somewhere. We have not been sure what is happening, but anyone who has survived such an abduction has spoken of their friends, confididants people that they have known for at least a little while suddenly not being themselves acting normally and then until change a sudden change we are not sure exactly what this might mean but we are aware through one person, a small child was able to escape. We think they are taking people north to Lake Zarevich.

I do what I can. I'll look into it. Is there any chance, and they probably don't want to talk to me, but is there any chance that I could speak to somebody who's been the child, maybe? You will stay here at the Blue Water Inn while you conduct your business. I will arrange for these people to come and seek you out. Thank you, Danico. That should have been easy. She stands up.

No, it was not. She aggressively grabs the rag and the glass and then walks away. Good stuff. All right. But also a little victory. Not getting outright killed is a win in Pip's book. Not getting hit. Not getting hit.

No one slugged me, so I'll take it. Yet. Yeah, yet. Speaking of, the Dusk Elf, having lowered her bow, moves over to her little encampment. She begins packing a bag. She turns back to you and says, My name is Eleniel Silverfire. Nice, my name is Eleniel Silverfire. Nice to meet you, Eleniel Silverfire. What business have you next? You said you know

Pip's location. I do. I need to go into Valakai. I assume that you want to remain hidden, yes? She nods. I cannot enter Valakai, not as I am now. Of course. Do you have ways of getting around? Adjusted to, like, you know, faith, like, not looking as is? I am an astute hunter. As such, I can hide myself well. It becomes harder within a city. I could try, she says. No, I do not think you need to head to Valakai.

I believe Pip is in Valakai. She nods slowly. How do you know this? He was the first person I met when I arrived here. He has been a guide of sorts, reluctant one, but nevertheless he has showed me the way of the lands. She nods. She with her backpack now on the floor,

I will need to think on that. No worries. When you meet, what is your plan? Are we releasing the arrow and that is it? She reaches over to her back where a quiver of arrows is. She very deftly pulls an arrow from it and then spins it through her fingers with a natural grace. She hands

it to you. You see that the arrow has red fletching, unlike the other arrows in her pack. Fire this arrow when you wish to speak to me. I pocket that arrow. Hopefully you'll hear from me soon. She nods. Yes, Hector Dragonsbane.

Strahd Bane. We will speak again. Just letting every Dusk Elf in the world know that I'm in the city. Cool stuff. No worries. You walk back with Marquillot. He is very quiet the entire walk back. So, the General, there is no forgiveness there, is there?

Marquillot stops, turns to look at you and says, would you? I do not know, but I've never been a fan of marching a man to their deaths. He looks you up and down and his face softens a little bit. I am not a man of violence, but I know many. And I will, I cannot keep something like this secret. Not when I know there are many people who wish to, who rightly wish to have more than words with that man. Pip is safe while he's in Valakai.

I get a bad boy card. You truly believe him, but is that true? Mark Willett leads you back out of the forest. He shakes your hand firmly, stares you very firmly in the eyes. I hope Pip leads you better than he did us. Me too. You flee one rebellion. You engage in one act of powerful cowardice.

You head towards the city gates? Yeah, I head towards the city gates. Who goes there? Hmm. Who goes there? Who goes there? What else bloody hell could I have said? Sorry, I'm not paying. Sorry, my name, Hector. Hector.

Hector? An adventurer, are you? Sure, yes. What business do you have in Valakai? I would like a place to rest. All right. So long as you make no trouble within these walls, he calls out and the gates open. He comes down to meet you.

He kind of looks you. You've basically just got a backpack. He kind of looks you over a little bit and then just waves you in. On you get then. And don't forget, he hands you a pamphlet. Everything is well in Valakai. It's just a pamphlet. It's just a piece of paper that says everything is well in Valakai.

I gotta just hand it back. I think I can remember this one. No, you gotta keep it. Okay, alright. And don't forget the festival's on in three days. Festival? Yeah, the Festival of on in three days. A festival? Yeah, the Festival of the Blazing Sun. Is that to do with the morning Lord?

No, not to my knowledge. That would be St. Andrew's Feast, which is the day after. No, the Festival of the Blazing Sun is just a celebration of how everything is well in Valachai. In Valachai, yes. Yes, in three days. In three days. In three days. And then the day after is St. Andrew's Feast. It didn't used to be like that.

From memory, it used to be St. Andrew's Feast, and we didn't have a festival of the blazing sun every month, but now we do. Oh, it's a monthly thing. Yeah, it's just to remind the people everything's all right. All right. Never mind. St. Andrew, where is that?

Is it obviously, is there a church with a steeple that I can just like walk to? Do I need directions? Well, he points it out and then you can see it. Thank you very much. Best of luck to you, mate. Your help. Thank you. And don't forget to go to the Blue Water Inn if you want drinking food.

It's a really only place in town. Yes, I will head there in a bit. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. I, um, yeah, go to the, go to, I just make a beeline to the church. This slouching, centuries

old stone church has a bulging steeple in the back and walls lined with cracked and stained glass windows depicting pious saints. A fence of wrought iron encloses a garden of gravestones next to the church. A thin mist creeps among the graves. I'll head in.

Divine sense. This place is, oh, no, it's not, actually. You sense the aura of a place that was once consecrated but is no longer. Oh. Yeah. All right. This would be quite a recent thing, actually. We're talking weeks.

We're talking days. Hard to say. The more powerful the consecration, the more far away it would have been. Yep. It was either something very powerful that happened quite a while ago, or it was something not as powerful that happened quite recently. That's all you can tell. Hmm.

Inside, you can see that there are quite a few Barovians who seem to be at the, it's kind of your classic sort of church. There's quite a few Barovians sitting in the pews. All of them are kneeling and praying, and you can see many of them have like white-knuckled grips. All of them are praying in what appears to be like desperation, basically. At the other end, where there is normally an altar, there is actually still an altar, but you can see it's split. It's cracked in the middle, and there are two people standing next to it. One is a man, an elderly man, wearing robes. And you could see this place as all the trappings of the Morning Lord.

You recognize it from the few bits and pieces that you've seen here and there and from in the Abbey as well. There's just a lot of the Morning Sun kind of vibes from this place. And in addition to that, like I said, you could see many different pictures of presumably different saints and people who are important in the worship of the morning Lord. And yes, that man, he is wearing robes that quite obviously have the same sort of stylized depictions upon them. Like he's wearing a tabard, not a tabard, he's wearing like a robes that have these drawings all over them. It looks like maybe they were done by him.

And then also standing with him, you see another person, a halfling. She's got her hands on her hips and she's looking at the altar and she's talking to the priest. You can see that they're in like a really intense conversation. She's wearing also robes, but they're completely different. Or the stylization on them is completely different. You recognize them, though. She is a cleric of Pena. My eyes jut up a little bit. Well, I start, walk towards them.

Head high, confident as always. As you approach, they turn, they spot you. The halfling gives you kind of like a once up and down, and you see that she recognizes like for like. I did not expect to find anyone of my faith here. Well, I didn't expect to see anyone here myself either. Hector, Hector Dragonspin. Yender Brightmoon, she says. Yender with a Y, as in the question.

Nice to meet you, Yender. A gesture to the cracked altar? We were just having a conversation about it ourselves, she says. Does this have anything to do with a low of my voice? The place being not as holy as it

should? Well, she gestures to the priest, and the priest speaks up. Hello, my name is Father Lucian. Nice to meet you. Yes, until recently this place was consecrated ground, safe. Maybe the only safe place within Valakai. And this was because of underneath the altar here there was was the bones of St. Anderle himself, his remains. A powerful, powerful person within our faith, the following of the Morning Lord. He was a devout of the Morning Lord, perhaps among his greatest and most powerful champions. He was laid to rest here underneath the stone until recently. This happened a month ago. I have been searching for where the bones could be for some time now, but, well, I was

glad for the help from your, do you know each other? We know the same gods. Well, I would appreciate the help from your... Do you know each other? We know the same gods. Well, I would appreciate the help. I can see that both of you are gifted, kissed by the gods. I can see it within your souls. It is a rare thing here. Yes, so I...

People keep telling us that. Well, I would appreciate some help, please. My congregation... He gestures to the many praying people, my congregation understands that this is a place they can come to, a place of safety, but without the bones, I do not know how long I can keep the metaphorical wolves outside. Yes, and sometimes literal.

wolves outside. Yes, and sometimes literal. Was the relics, was it a known thing? No, it was hidden. Well, people knew that there was the remains here, but

I was very careful not to tell people where to find them. I knew that there was some protection to be underneath the altar, but clearly it was not enough. There was... There is one person who could... No.

He seems a little hesitant. I... A young boy, Jeska. He... Jeska, he was the son of the... My apprentice. I had a person in training. he was the son of the, my apprentice. I had a person in training. He was their son.

Jeska's father, though, met with a grisly end, unfortunately, as many do within Valakai. And I had told Jeska's father, and I fear Jeska's father may have told him. Sorry, people meet ununtimely, but I thought all is well in Valakai. Father Lucian narrows his eyes at you like he thinks you're stupid. It is a bit tongue-in-cheek.

Very little is well in Valakai. I have many problems with the Burgermaster and his insistence that improving the spirits will improve safety is one of my greatest gripes. With the town guard. They handed me and I showed the flyer. They are under order from the Burgermaster to do this.

This improves morale? Basically, yes. The people are fearful, and he thinks that the illusion of safety is enough. Well, that is something. It is better, at least, than Lady Vacha. Lady Vacha? A vile woman, he says. I would spit at her name, but this is supposed to be consecrated ground.

Well, have you spoken to Jeska? I asked him if he knew and if he had told anyone, but he evaded the question. I did not wish to push upon him with the tragic passing of his father. How old is Jesker? Jesker is 12. And how did he, if you don't mind me asking? He was drained of his life force in the night. Some creature of the darkness killed him in his bed.

In Valakai? In Valakai. And was he the only one that's has that's happened to or is that a common occurrence it is i would not call it common but it has happened a few times before drained of blood or just no we know vampires if there is anything we know it is vampires and no it was not like this. It was like the life had been drained from them.

I did notice, though, that Jeska's father in his last days, something was wrong with him. Acted strangely or was... Acting out. Acting out, you say. I selected my apprentice for his good temper.

He was a kind, lovely man. But in the last days, he became mean. I thought it's a symptom of perhaps whatever affliction was upon him. But when I found out it was not an affliction, he shrugs, perhaps some demon or devil. Where did your friend go? You look around and Yender isn't here anymore.

Oh, I don't know. Oh. How long has Yender been helping you out? She arrived in town earlier today. But I think she has been in Barovia. There she is. You turn around and you can see that she's moving from Barovian to Barovian within the pews.

You couldn't spot her before because she's short. Yeah. Fair enough. But yeah, you can see that she's moving from person to person and she's talking to them. Once she turns away and moves away from them, you can see that they return to praying, but now there's

less of a white-knuckled grip. She just naturally, just going from person to person, seems to be improving their spirits. Well, I think she's doing a lot more for your congregation than a festival might. He nods.

Where does this Jeska good boy uh where where does he i was telling your your friend uh yes she knows all right well thank you very much oh okay okay i'll speak to her oh yeah i thought you would no it's fine i was done. I thought you would. No, if you're like, I'll speak to her. He nods and he returns to leading a sermon. All right, I'll go over to Yender. Yender just finishes talking to someone. It's like an old Barovian woman.

She's holding her hands and whispering something to her. You see that she's nodding slowly, this old Barovian woman. And when she turns to look at Yender, this Barovian woman seems to have a little bit of hope within her. It's like color is returning to this person. The old Barovian woman turns back to the sermon and Yender turns to you. Get everything you want to know?

I guess this Jeska person is the... At the orphanage after his father passed. Okay, right. That would make sense. So you've been here long? In Barovia, about six months at this point. I spent most of my time in the village of Barovia doing what I could, but it's limited. It's rough.

It's rough as guts there, I'll tell you what. I've only heard that it is bad. What has happened? Did you hear about a year ago it was like an uprising? I did hear that, yes. I heard something. Yeah, some or other. Someone said something about it.

Well, after it got put down, the Baroviansians sorry, the people of the village of Barovia, they were like the most defiant and basically the entire town rose up. Strahd decided to make an example of them. And he, well, they keep calling it decimated, but it's more of the reverse. My understanding is about 90% of the people were killed and brought back as a very awful type of zombie.

Oh. Yeah. Then Barovia was also kind of the red basket of this area and he turned the well. Salted the lands. Yeah. So there's a, I don't know if you've noticed a Valak. So have you been to, I heard there's a, I don't know if you've noticed, a Valachai.

So have you been to, I heard there's Krezik? I've been to Krezik, yes. My understanding, I hadn't affected Krezik as much because they grow their own food. But here in Valachai, not as many farms. And when Barovia fell, there's a lot less food going around here as well. A lot more hungry folk. I had a chat to the priest in Barovia. I'm glad I'm here, she says.

Right. Oh, that reminds me. So I'll be right back. Sorry. All right. I head back to the priest. Yeah. So sorry, Father.

We dealt with some werewolves out north, I believe, of Krezik, and there was a lot of letters from people that they've kidnapped or turned or done horrible things. I did not know where they were, but I was aware of werewolves kidnapping people. But I know this might not do much, but I do know maybe it gives a form of... Closure? Yes, a form of closure to the families. But look, these are letters that we were able to, I guess, ascertain were from Valakai. I don't know anyone here.

Perhaps you might. He nods. If you give me the letters, I will see to them as best I can. Yes, yes, of course. I hand in the letters. Thank you, thank you. I head back to... Yender.

Yender. Sorry, just to... She does not seem to stand still. She's been moving from person to person. And you can see that the spirit of the room has been lifted a little bit. Hmm. Shall we, did you want to go to have a chat with Jeska now? Or did you want to?

She looks outside. The sun is setting. Uh, well, I'd be worried to, no, I think it's best that things of the sun are done in the sun you know what i mean yes uh i've i've got a room at the blue water inn i've all right yes i need to nice enough place there's a little frog man who does singing it's nice Does he play the piano by any chance? Ha, come on He plays anything That makes it sound like people come to him with instruments Play this, play this, play this

Go on, go on He'll play anything you bring to him Honest to God, Scalzona Someone brought a dog to him a couple days ago And he, I kid you not Played that dog like a set of bagpipes that is hard to imagine i've never heard a musical dog in my life until then well i i don't know the way so um she leads let's go i have uh yanda question you're you're you're still in touch with your She's having this conversation to you in between

talking to people She moves to the Blue Water Inn via every person you meet It takes forever and the sun has well and truly set by the time you get to the Blue Water Inn You never feel like she's not

paying attention, you just feel like she's capable of having three different conversations at once. You wouldn't happen to have with your, I guess, access to the divine, with your connection to the divine. Did you find that fading recently by any chance? She stops, turns to look at you and says, I'll explain it to you when we're alone. I don't want to... Look, if it weren't for the fact that you're also a member of the clergy,

I wouldn't even mention this. But look, I'll tell you when we're alone, she says. Thank you. All right, eventually you get to the blue water end. She steps inside. Half of the blue water end turns around and calls out, Yanda! She turns to you and says, I just going to say hello to a few people.

I'll be right back. She goes and says hello to everyone. Everybody. I understand. Everyone she talks to seems to fucking love her. Yep. You spot a very pensive looking pip. I like to think I've got, like, manual to monster open and I'm just scrolling through,

like maybe using my pinky to like go line by line, trying to find anything that reminds me of what Danica described. Sure. I probably glance up briefly, see the detector and like, oh, okay. And then just go back to my book. I don't know. A look of, God. Not happy to see Pip.

Just a hmm. Hmm. I like rub my eyes. Head over to Pip. Oh, hello. How is things? Sort of somewhere in the middle. Do you know anything?

You're magic, right? In a way. Some kind of magic, some kind of enchantment that could turn somebody otherwise regular and just living a normal life in a flesh into a marauder some kind of anything like this is the kind of person who might attack or kidnap a friend as in the suddenly they've gone yes from from acting normally regularly suddenly or is it over a couple of days? I think it's suddenly. Let me have a think.

You don't know a specific thing, but you have heard many tales of people being mentally controlled. It could be a bunch of things. It could be anything from an evil wizard to an illithid. You're describing... It could be anything. Evil wizard. That's not useful.

I'll write that down. Evil wizard. That's not useful. Evil wizard. I'll write that down. Evil wizard to a mythic. Anything else? Demand you'll demonstrate wrong places edition. No, kidnapped. Was there anything? What did the kids say? They said that they were being taken north to the lake.

North. Yes, to the lake, toward the lake. Anyway, it's fine. Were you successful in whatever you were doing? You can tell that when I ask that, I'm not interested in an answer. Oh, yeah. It's courtesy. You were close with Keening, yeah?

Like close my book? Yes, I suppose you could say that. Who was he like? Commanding, I suppose you could say that. Who was he like? Commanding, I suppose. Impressive. I suppose they call it a force of personality. You know, you're kind of just drawn in by...

Why? Why do you ask? And the Dusk Elves. Who have you been talking to? The Dusk Elves. Holding my book in my hands, knuckles going white, and Hector, this pretty important question, what did you say to the Dusk Elves?

They do not like you. Shocker. And what did you say to the Dusk Elves, Hector? Ender takes a step in your direction. You can see for a brief moment she means to shake Pip's hand

in just her movement all around but she takes one look at the two of your faces and then a right turn and keeps going somewhere else and did you mention Hector where we would be staying at all? I like to think I've closed my book at this point

Pip maybe if I had known at all? I like to think I've closed my book at this point. Well, maybe if I had known the gravity of what had transpired, I would have made sure I was a lot more careful about mentioning you. You see, I knew not to be associated with you. I didn't know the

Let's, how about, instigate a rule. If anybody asks where I am, you don't tell them. Act perhaps like you don't even know me. That's going to be safer for the both of us. And why bring up Keening? Do you ever wish to make amends? Do you ever wish to... How would you imagine I would do that, Hector?

I don't know. How would you imagine I would make amends for destroying the city of Brovia and having every single female dusk elf killed? What single act do you think I could do that would wipe that away from my very dirty soul? I don't know, but have you tried anything? I'd like gesture around. Hector, you know the answer to that. Please, what?

No, I do not. What I know is that you're in a shack. What have you done? Did you do anything? I suppose I did not. I'd like to stand up. I'd like to close my manual, the monster. I'd like to stand up. I'd like to close my manual, the monster. And I'd like to...

Anyway, I've been lucky enough to be granted a room at the Blue Water Inn. It's been a pleasure, but it's incredibly sarcastic. Oh, yeah, of course. Pete, what happened? I cannot imagine that there's the moment, the moment that you left the battlefield, it all went to shit. Strahd slaughtered a town and raised half as undead.

The slow genocide of the Dusk Elves. Surely there was a resistance. Well, surely people put up a fight. And where were you? I'm done. I'm done with this conversation. I just leave. You get up and...

I'll go try and find my quarters upstairs. As you go to leave, I just call out, Keening did not die when you fought Stratt. He is alive. I stop very, very suddenly. He died, I say. He's dead. Really?

You looked? People told me soon after it happened. He was thrown off the cliffs and onto the rocks beneath. Why is it that you believe that story, but everything else anyone tells me, you take with a pinch of salt? Perhaps that's easier to believe, Hector, for me, than

any alternative. Well, he is alive. I cannot believe you never even looked. Good night, Pip. I get up and I head to the bar. Okay. Or head to a go-gash. Do we have a room? A go-gash turns around and says, yes, we have a room.

Also, I'd like you to meet my new friend. And he gestures to a little frog man. Pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to meet you too. Hector Dragonsbane, how are you? My name is Kribbit the Amazing. I hear you can play...

I love Kribbit. I hear you can play anything from a piano to even a dog. I played the dog well. Yes, that's what I heard. Excuse my language. It is strange to speak with proper nouns. What are you doing here, Hector? Ordering a drink. Would you like one?

Yes, they know my favorite. I'd like to be standing right behind Hector. Like I didn't go upstairs. I just followed him to the bar. I know you. I ignore the frog. What do you mean Keening's not dead? What do you care?

Answer the question. How do you know? Why would you say that? I was told by Madame Eva. A charlatan. Krivit's looking from one of you to the other What is happening? Nothing Krivit

Don't worry about it I don't know his name You were right behind me Oh yeah that's true That's true I heard I heard Madame Eva said That he is another person

He is Who is Madame Eva? Madame Eva is a Seer of Astani And where did she say Prophecy? That's the one yes And where did she say... Prophecy? That's the one, yes. And where did she say...

She make prophecy? Yes, she's the one that makes... For these ones? I'd like to grab Hector and spin him round. And where did she say Keening was? Why do you care? Because I loved him. Oh.

He is north. By a body of water. not too far from here i like hold up the mania the monster where i've got like all of my notes figuring out this fucking other thing for danica yeah okay thank you i put a hand on your shoulder like a all of a sudden it's strangely affectionate one and then i'm gonna to go upstairs. You have prophecy? Yes, Kribbit, yes. I think you're part of it. He leans in. He's really excited. Prophecy with this one? Did she say this one writes epic?

You actually didn't understand half of that. He spoke half. He's so excited he started speaking presumably his language. You heard like, you spot... These ones! But if we were to just descend into bubbles... Yes, Kribbit.

Yes, yes. You were the... Happy day! Kribbit kicks ass. Kribbit's the heart and soul of this party already. Yes. Krippet stands up on the table. This one has prophecy!

You are going to write an incredible tale. This one will write that one's tale. Once again, so excited. It was just if you would if that one he's like he's trying to figure out common and grung right now if you had if you

were instrument what would you be he brings from out under underneath, as soon as he grabs it, a massive cacophony of different noises. But then he brings a backpack and lifts it up onto the table. When he hits it down, it's like, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. And you maybe hear something break. He upends the bag and any instrument you could name

falls out onto the table. Anything like a trumpet or a harp a gogash picks up the symbols i would be these ones cribbit nods and picks them up i will make this song i think um that's like a less harsh trumpet that oney tiny little trumpet. A French horn. Elvish horns. No, it's French. Okay, excuse me. Excuse me. Forgive me.

A little French horn. Kribit picks up the French horn, gives a little bit of a toot and says, yes, this is good. Yes, it is something. He starts stuffing them back into the backpack. Wait, wait, wait. he won't let you leave until he's stuffed all of them back in then he flips it back he closes you realize he has nothing packed except instruments that is his entire so much that is his entire uh backpack is just instruments he puts it back on and then he climbs up, so long as you don't stop him,

he climbs up onto you. Yep. And then puts his legs around your neck and just sits on your shoulders. You're giving Kripp a shoulder ride. Yeah. Okay. Let's go. Gagash nods.

I like this little man. I like this little man I like this little man too Yes let's go I say as I sit down and order a drink Drink drink drink drink This is a drinking song He starts tapping out a little song on your head It's a little annoying

to have the tapping but damn the song rules It fucking slaps It rolls Drink drink drink Alright But damn, the song rules. That's so catchy. It fucking slaps. The rules. Krippet kicks ass. Drank, drank, drank, drank. All right. Pip, you go upstairs.

Yeah, I go upstairs just to get out of a hostile situation and to sit on the knowledge a little bit. Yeah, I guess there's actually kind of not much I can do really until I start interviewing the various people in town who've, yeah. But I have some theories. I read over alive puppets. Sorry, little guys, excuse me, from Emmanuel the Monster and some of the undead ones as well. But I'm still unclear as to what specifically is happening. But it's allowing me to stay in... Have I been shown my room at all?

No, you have not. Okay, well, I'm just awkwardly standing up in the hall, I guess. Maybe one of the Mardukov kids, they've got two kids, runs past he looks at you and he says Mister, do you need Oh, I know who you are.

He says he turns and says, hang on he runs downstairs, comes back up with a set of keys. Mother said you were to be given a room. Yes, yeah, that's I was going to ask. Thank you. He goes over and unlocks a room for you.

Even the children are being taught to hate me. It is by far the smallest room. I didn't think I was going to be getting comfort, but at least I'm getting privacy. It's essentially just a bed. When I say this is a bedroom, I mean this is a bed in a room. Yeah, good, good, good.

And there's not much room for anything else. All right, I'll step inside, close the door behind me, and sit on the bed and just go through Emmanuel the Monster. There's just a single – you know the sort of window you get in a toilet? It's small and high up. That is your only window. Can I like stand on my bed to look out of it? Yeah, just have a look out at

Valakai. You gaze out at what little Valakai you can see through the window. Yeah. Back downstairs and for as long into the night as any of you are capable of, go g, crib it,

Chauncey, because he hasn't got a fucking choice. Chauncey can't go anywhere. Yender. He's a statue. He's fine. He's a head. He's never going to ask to be picked up, but he wants to be picked up.

Sure. Yender and yourself, Hector, sit around a table and eat and drink. Eventually, as the night wears on, any other patron within the Blue Water Inn begins filtering out, either because they have work in the morning or this is not their home and they're not allowed to sleep here. Yeah, that's fair. It's closing time. Yeah. A few people Danica has to forcibly remove, not like violently,

but certainly a few people Danica needs to maybe help, shall we say, out of the blue water. She's got to cut them off. Fair enough. You get the impression, perhaps, Hector, that Valakai might have a bit of a, well, I don't know if I'd call it a drinking problem. They have some pretty big issues in their lives,

and drink is quite clearly one of the best ways of dealing with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is fair, that is fair. But eventually, one way or another, it is really just your table and Danica behind the bar. She quietly cleans up. At a certain point, Erwin, Erwin Matochov, the other proprietor of the Blue Water Inn, joins

his wife, and the two of them are just kind of doing bookkeeping and after-hours work, the sort of classic stuff that a tavern needs for its own upkeep. They're busy doing that every now and then. One of them comes over to check to make sure that you're still okay for drinks.

I don't know about you, Hector, but a few other people, I won't mention who, are getting quite inebriated. Sean, sir. It's his first time. He's a tea toddler, yeah. He's never had alcohol touching those beautiful porcelain lips. He doesn't understand what he's doing to his brain.

That's crazy. There's a brain in there. Kribbit is downing mugs of water as if they were beer. I don't know if you would have seen this at any point, but if Kribbit drinks alcohol, he pukes it up almost immediately. He does not seem to really acknowledge that that happens, though. So anytime, especially while people were still in the tavern, people would buy him drinks.

Anytime that happens, Danica would have immediately swooped in to switch it out for a water because Kribbit will drink it. She doesn't want to kill Kribbit. Fair enough. At those points, I probably would have asked Danica, what is happening? He seems to be... Danica gives like a shake of her head.

She seems deeply upset. She says, either they are too drunk or they do not know. Kribbit quite clearly just, I don't know why. He knows he will throw up. But he does it anyway. I assume, I assume that he is just weird like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She keeps moving. A frog physiology is probably not designed for beer. Probably not methamalizer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brugogash gets quite drunk, and Yender, at the very least, is getting tipsy. I don't know about you, Hector, but yeah.

I'm more like a nurse. Again, there's a lot that has happened. Probably just nursing a mead or a beer or whatever. What do they serve? What's the general gonna drink here? Provenious water. They have a kind of shitty not great ale which is very watered down but on purpose it's kind of like the drink you drink if you don't want

to get drunk you just want a liquid they have a beer which is a little bit heavier and then they have a large selection of wines there's many many many different types of wines and all of them look quite nice i might take the watered-down piss water. All right. Some pissy ale. Probably a good move. Just to have something to drink. Something to drink.

A bit of things that is mine. Maybe sitting at the table, just maybe absentmindedly, like as I hear him absentmindedly shuffling a deck of cards, maybe absentmindedly twirling an hour. You're stimming your little brain now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe a similar kind of thing, of just twirling a certain arrow that I'm like,

tapping it, giving it a bit of a think, twirling it around, paying attention here and there of the conversations that are happening with the rest of the party, as it were. The rest of the group were having a lively conversation. It's moved through several different things at first it kind of began with just a where are you from sort of thing and yender talks about growing up within candor and maybe some early

tales of her family a gogash regales everyone with basically the same thing the tales of his faraway land for a brief little while yender and a a Gogash are trying to work out, like maybe Yender brings out one of her many books. Oh, you see, she takes out her backpack is not so much a backpack as it is more a chest that is, it has two belts that she loops around her shoulders. She takes the chest off. You see, it's got an elaborate, a very elaborate lock on it. She takes out a ring of keys from around her neck.

And with three different keys, she unlocks the chest. And then opens it up. She's very secretive about this as well. There appears to be some sort of order that the keys need to be inserted in. Anyway, she eventually opens the chest. But just enough so that she can slip out a book she doesn't open it very wide and in the book she has a cosmology wheel like all the different planes and how they interact with each other and she's flipping through it trying to figure out

where a gogash is from and where he's been that's cool and you find out a gogash has been a lot of places it actually becomes at a certain point it becomes easier to find out Agagash has been a lot of places. It actually becomes, at a certain point, it becomes easier to find out where he's not been. Okay, okay. Hell yeah. Then Chaucer is very interested in that. He knows a bit about cosmology,

and he joins into the conversation. Kribbit is just furiously, like every now and then, he'll insert some words, but he just spends a lot of time furiously writing all of this down. Got it. Good on him. God bless that little frog, man. I love him.

I love the little scribe we've got. Yeah. You maybe at some point glance over and look at Chris. Yeah, I'll have a bit of a squeeze if he's like writing something down. Maybe he is writing down, but it doesn't look like it. So you know when a kid just like scribble, yeah, like just draws like scribbles in a book? That is so funny. That is what it looks like he's doing.

But I don't know how to speak frogman. Yeah, look, maybe he's got his own code. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, actually, let me quickly... Alright, you can work out that there is some sort of pattern to it, but it really just kind of looks

like a child scribbling I don't mean like lines I mean like it's all there are pictures which appear to be part of the language that's awesome almost like that journalistic shorthand that some people do

it's impossible to know having only got cribbit as a reference point, you don't know if this is shorthand or if this is the grung version of Ulysses. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Don't know if he's making, this is notes for himself later on to type up, or if this is

literally just like, this is, oh wow, it's a beautiful language, I see. Alright. Okay, well, I think maybe like half listening, half sort of really distracted by like the pip and everything and just like glancing up like where the – I'm assuming it's like a stairwell that sort of like goes up into a corner. Yeah.

And just – And are we the waiting either – No, maybe not. It's like waiting for a lull in conversation. But probably not. No, maybe not. He's like waiting for a lull in conversation. But probably not.

If we're just like splurting out, like, what is the dumbest thing you've done for love? Everyone has like a moment to think. And then a go gash says first, I think the strangest or dumbest. Good question. What's the strangest thing you did for love? The dumbest thing I have ever done for love would be, I suppose, one time when I was but a wee boy. I fancied my neighbor from a few buildings away from where I was raised. And I remember we had these strange contraptions where I'm from called bicycles. Do we have bicycles?

No, that would not be a technology you're aware of. That rolls. What is it? No, I don't even. I don't. It is kind of like a mechanical horse in a way, if you will. It's awesome to imagine Hector's imagining of what's happening in a GoGash's story where it's not on a bike, it's on some kind of robot horse.

It's a horse with wheels. What is it? Look, it's neither here nor there. I'm just picturing a metal horse made of bits of scrap and bolts and stuff, and each with the four legs, just four very large wheels that are on a wagon. It is a very simple machine, but it imitates a horse quite well. Imagine it drinking, eating, neighing, rearing up jumping yes okay i had one as a a child i was the only one in in town i think of my age who had one and i remember i wanted to impress her by uh

jumping it over a rise this makes sense to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I missed, he says. And I dashed myself and the bicycle upon the rise. I was nearly killed. It was quite a fall, but thankfully, my species, we are hearty.

I almost want to be mouthing, like, along his like, because I'm assuming we've got this speech before like hearty powerful one of the best out there like a phrase that I would feel he would use all the time just be like yes hearty I thankfully

survived but the bicycle the only one of its kind for at least my age within the town was destroyed. My parents were upset with me. I imagine, yes. But I, well, she was impressed. That is very good to hear.

It's so funny that a go-gosh was doing sick tricks on a bicycle. It's so funny that a gogash was doing sick tricks on a bicycle. It's probably like a bicycle from maybe the 1800s, 1920s, but I just can't stop imagining a dirt bike. We have this contraption in our world, dirt bikes. Yosef, Yender? Yender thinks for a second and she says well i uh i guess i i guess i did this she says i raise my eyebrows um i only really got the the one love it's uh the church i guess to borrow a phrase to borrow a bit of a commonly said phrase, I'm married to the church, as it were.

My love for the gods is the greatest love of my life, and I gave up everything for it. I don't regret it for a second. Understandable. Glad you'd have no regrets. On that line, I almost got kicked out of the order for love. I think I did for a few months. I was very young, very young.

Young, rebellious, an idiot some might say. Her name was Svetlana. I came this close, this close to stealing an artifact. I think it was a mummified index finger of one of the Lerse prophets. I had a plan to crush it up and make a sort of a paint out of it. and make a sort of a paint out of it. And I was going to paint a lovely portrait to draw her as a sort of a misbegotten notion that her beauty could only be captured by the divine.

It's such an ugly shade. A mummified finger. It's kind of like a light wave. Fair, fair call, fair call. Very sort of lightish, sort of brown. You kind of do some stuff. You dilate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dilute it. Not dilate. Not dilate. Don't dilute. But yes, I planned to steal it and use it. I stopped because I was afraid. They found out I would have been expelled. I was thrown out of the church and sent back to my parents

after all that they had sacrificed to get me into the order. And I was afraid I would be excommunicated or sent to, like, the front line of the abyss. I was so afraid of, like, look towards the end of the stairwell, once again, just absentmindedly playing with that arrow. Yeah, I was afraid I would be killed, so I didn't go through with it. So I did not go through with it. I simply, I guess, threw away the notions of what I imagined what love was.

I thought, I think I got myself back on the straight and narrow. It gets my tongue pierced there for her. That is something that did happen. Let me tell you, Yenda, that is something I regret. I'll be back. I get up and head upstairs. I'll be back. I get up and head upstairs and I head towards Pip's room. To be continued... If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch.

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