D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #2 Werewolves of Krezk

Episode Date: September 24, 2022

Hecktor talks to a reluctant Pip about who will help them on their quest to slay the devil Strahd. Assassins are thwarted, travelers met and important supplies are purchased that mostly consist of strawberries.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Though you see no water for miles around you, you are, like me, nonetheless maroon. We are castaways in this terrible bad dream somebody decided to name Barovia. To switch up the metaphor, we are imprisoned, and the fog is the bars of our cell, and our jailer is Baron von Strahd. As far as I can tell, there's no way to escape other than possibly by dying. Maybe by being eaten by a wolf, let's say.

Madame Eva drags both of her bony hands over the crystal ball, and you can see the swirling mist within begins to slowly coalesce into a vague figure. You can see it's kind of like from waist up. It's a person. You can see that they're quite obviously like the hard ridges in their figure. You can see that they're wearing like a leather armor. And then as it slowly coalesces to form their head, you can see two horns that curve in a very familiar manner.

I see, I see a woman, blue of skin, horns. Or is it horn? She has traveled far and has acquired monies. These monies will fund your army. Oh. You already have an army. You need generals. And a way out.

She drags the hand over the crystal ball again, and now the single figure fades away, and you see many figures standing like silhouetted shapes. There's so many of them that you can't make out. And their figures kind of like meld together. So you can't tell any individual figure, but you can see that there are many. There's quite a few. These generals will aid you, assist you in your escape and in your battles to come she brings producers from below the table

a deck of cards you identify it immediately it's the taraka deck at that that pia showed you before she begins shuffling it and you go through like a little bit of a a ritual where she asks you to tell her to stop and you tell her to stop she stops stuff laying she gets you to cut the cards and then eventually she lays the cards in on the table in between the two of you and she gestures with her hand the first card slowly like almost as if you're opening the pages of an old ancient dusty tome the first card slowly flips over and once it is flipped over you can see the image this time it's not like a just a little bit of movement and then a stop the image is constantly

moving like you're watching a television screen you see a humanoid figure they have a massive backpack in addition to a backpack they've got like a bindle that they've also thrown over their shoulder and they're walking down what looks like a lonely road the name of the card written above and below says the traveler and madame eva elaborates a stranger to a strange land the traveler is always moving but never at their destination for their path is long and has many detours. I see the traveler roaming a forest, lost but unworried. One of the figures in the crystal ball, you can see that their outline becomes a little bit more solid. Then... What's the outline become? Is it...

It's a tall person. Okay. Other than that, you can't really make much out. A second card flips. This one says Huntress. And you see a woman stalking through some bushes. Actually, you really don't see her. You just kind of see her eyes.

And in a moment, there's a glint, a flash, and then an arrow flies straight towards the quotation marks camera. Huntress is dogged. They see their target and fly towards it like an arrow. But every time an arrow lands, it becomes more and more damaged. It is important for the huntress to fly true, lest their time run out. I see huntress stalking a pack of wolves. You hear, like, it's, you don't think it's actually wolves, but you just hear a howling noise in the distance.

They are not her prey, but she hunts them all the same. Do I get, like, a sense of, like, the color of her eyes or like kind of like either the shape the glow from the card yeah or are they all just kind of like you don't think the card is representative of the person you're oh sorry it is representative but you don't think the figure you see in the card is the person you're going to meet another one of the figures in the crystal ball begins to slowly coalesce a little bit firmer this time you can tell they're not tall they're not short but you can tell that they have long wavy hair then she waves again and another card flips over this one is in a tavern there's at a table two people are actually you don't even see the people you just

see their two mugs slamming together and then foam going all over the place. The slamming together of the two tankards, at first you think it's kind of like jovial, but then when it happens a second time, you get kind of like an almost competitive, like aggressive nature to it. This one says the drinking companions. One might assume that drinking companions are friends, but this is not always the case.

Drink can warp the mind, turn thoughts away from reason and towards aggression. While these two may be inseparable, they may not like it. I see they are laid out on a table. Something is wrong a ritual something is very wrong two figures side by side begin to slowly their their form kind of like coalesces they're so close together it almost looks like one person with two heads. You don't make anything. Their form is like too amorphous to see them properly.

Okay, okay. Another card flips over. This one is, it says simply, the assassin. It is otherwise, though, blank. A dangerous card. Beware the assassin's blade, for it brings more than death. A well-placed blade can topple nations.

Beneath those robes, though, stands a man mortal as any other. Madame Eva pauses for a moment, and then you see kind of like a smirk at the side of her mouth. They are close. Perhaps within the camp oh i see and then

madame eva leans back and you can see that the the the effort oh of course sorry another figure within the crystal ball their outline becomes more solid but there are still many figures who are still quite shadowy and you can't make them out properly. Madame Eva leans back in her chair and you can see that she didn't have a lot of color in her face to begin with. But you can see that what little color has drained away from her. She says, visions of the future tire me. I understand. If we meet again, I will give you another vision.

Until then, I must ask you to leave. Of course, thank you so much for your assistance. She gestures to the cards that have been flipped over. You may keep them. I grab them. You wander out of the wagon, and that Vistana who let you

in, Jackson Bailey, closes the door for you. What you see. Yeah, of course. Closes the door for you. What you see in there, what you spoke of, is between only you and Madam Eva. I do not want to know. Of course. Thank you so much. Do you have a merchant around here?

I'm looking to perhaps trade for some items. We have some equipment, yes. What would you want? Honestly, I'm looking for anything. All my equipment was stolen by a druid. He takes you to the second last wagon. They have mostly trade

goods, but there are some items that you can buy. You're probably not going to be able to purchase armor here, and maybe only simple melee weapons. Yep, that's alright. I think I need a weapon. I don't want to take Pip's only mace. Sure.

Well, they could sell you, they have a club or a great club. That's easy. There's just a bit of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a stick. You can purchase a dagger, a hand axe, a javelin, a light hammer, a mace, a quarter staff, a sickle, or a spear. Okay, so no sword or anything like that? No, they don't carry swords.

Okay, okay, okay. You don't think that they trade in weaponry much? Yeah, right. What would I be proficient with, I guess? You'd be proficient with all of these weapons. Oh, do I have a shield as well, by any chance? Highs or lows? Let's go with lows.

Yeah, they could sell you a wooden shield yeah sweet um what if I get like a a shield and let's go with um

yeah a mace a shield will set you back for alright you got any trade goods well I've got that incense and these strawberry seeds

uh well and this bread and wine that I've been eating the Vistana puts his hand up at the strawberry seeds and says we do not do trade backs oh these are of course um but he uh the block of incense they'll accept he looks at you and he says we can give you for the block of incense you can see he's quite obviously

bending over backwards to help you here for the block of incense and your coins we will give you a shield and we can give you a club but that is great thank you so much I appreciate that that is so kind of you

I appreciate thank you I will accept that offer you get a club and a wooden shield the wooden shield it's so when i say wooden shield don't imagine like like a viking round shield made of like hard sturdy wood imagine like a part of a door that someone has broken away and stuck a handle on. Okay, okay, okay. It looks like it might have already splintered a little bit under someone else's attacks. That's pretty funny.

And yeah, just like, I guess like, maybe I got him anything down the tray, but do you happen to have any strawberries by any chance? He searches through, has a lot. Nice. Yeah, they have a single punnet of strawberries. What can I offer or do to try and acquire even just one strawberry? He thinks for a little bit, and he says,

it would be, I think, unlikely for us to not meet again. I do not have a gift of this sight, but I feel like I will see you again. Let us say you may have the Pondert of Strawberries for now, for a future exchange. Of course, I will owe you one. He hands you the Pondert of Strawberries. I thank him again for his

hospitality. Was there anything else? I guess could I interact with the people in here? Almost try to like... I mean, it's going to be hard to scope out an assassin. Sure. But I guess, yeah, look around to see if there's anything like that that might be able to like ascertain that, oh, hey, maybe I can find somebody. Or like, is assassins just like blend in? Is anyone that's like trying either too hard to blend in

or there's just something a little off? You look around at the Vistani wagon train and you realize, wait a minute, this isn't a camp, this is a wagon train. You look back at Pip's camp. Ew. Pip. Yeah. Get a good boy card for getting the eggs.

Thank you Pop is still I'm rubbing my temples because I've got a headache There's a slight pause And you're maybe facing away from Pop There's a slight pause in Pop's cawing And then I swivel around

You swivel around and we're going to go to initiative. Oh, what? This is why I need help. Pip, you get tackled from the side. You manage to see them just before this happens. So you don't auto-fail this check. But someone, a robed figure, has slammed into you. You feel in their hand a dagger that they are trying to work towards your neck.

What? What? What? Fuck. Well, you saw them before, but it didn't help me much. You roll around on the ground and you come in such a position where they are underneath you. You are on top, but they have got their legs locked around your waist. One arm locked around one of your arms, but they have got their legs locked around your waist. One arm locked around

one of your arms, which they've dragged aside, and a dagger to your throat. You hear a voice, a hot breathy voice in your ear. Please, we could be civil about this. What is your name? You attacked me. Please, please, please. No need for

specifics or semantics. I wish only to understand. I'm just standing here with my hands on my hips. Look at my chicken. I wish only to understand where I am. Are you a wizard? Do I look like a wizard? I'm in my long johns.

Well, I was standing somewhere entirely different to here, and then suddenly I'm here. You're the only person I see. What am I to conclude from that? How has this happened twice in one day? Get off me, and then perhaps we can have a civil conversation. Oh, let's have a civil conversation, Pip. I'll say after I tackle you and put a dagger to your head.

The attacker lets go of you. You turn around to see a tiefling with a hooded cloak and kind of obviously dressed a little bit like a characteristic assassin thief sort of character. But nonetheless, you can see that he moves very lively, and you assume that most of his stealth relies upon just not being seen, as opposed to not looking like an assassin. For sure. He stands up, looks you dead in the face, and says,

So you didn't magically conjure me here? No, I rubbed my tentacles. Has Pop shut up? Oh, yeah, Pop shut up. You think he was trying to warn you? Oh, that's nice. That's nice of Pop. Deep down he cares.

No, I didn't summon you here. You've been... Well, it did, to be fair, you do not... Well, look, hey, not to say that there is a wizard attire, but you don't really look like... A person can look like a wizard. You don't know... Please, forgive me.

I'm sorry. I know I jumped to aggression, yes. But, in my defense, it's disorientating. That it is. I, like, look up at the castle. I look at the mist. Though you see no water for miles around you, you are nonetheless marooned. Like me, you are a castaway.

To change metaphor, the mist is a prison. Strahd is the guy who's kept us in jail and you can't get out except by dying. The place is called Barovia. You're in Barovia. Barovia. He pockets his dagger and you can see he's like calming down he you realize you realize maybe now yeah he was his attacking you was probably a very un not just unjustified but you could tell that he like uncharacteristic no not uncharacteristic you could tell that he is like trying to he

attacked you out of like pure white hot aggression. And you can see, maybe you could see because you recognize in him, a person who has some white hot aggression and is like back in the box for you. So, yeah, you understand now why he attacked you. You think, yeah, he was just lashing out in pure rage. Yes, Barovia, that's where we are. There's some soup left, I think, if you want some soup. he was just lashing out in pure rage. Yes, Barovia, that's where we are. There's some soup left, I think, if you want some soup. I'm good for soup, thanks.

Wonderful. Hector, you see Pip is chatting to someone. I used to have another fella, but he's left. Can you do radiant damage? No, I'm quite the reverse. I'll start heading up towards Pip. You approach and you recognize each other.

You recognize Piran. If you'll recall, you saw him last at Fairburn Point. He's an assassin who works for, well, Goldcrest as a nation and a king no longer exists. But you know that he was kind of like part of

their official state sanctioned assassins uh yeah and he'll he helped you out back at fairburn point oh um pyrrhon isn't it hector correct yes did you get my i left uh i think i left your companion on um he when he joined us i'm sorry to say he died. Oh, okay. I don't know him about a week. Oh, right. Did you get my... We left some correspondence for you.

How did you get here? No, what? How could you have left correspondence for me? I left a drop-off point for you. It was like three hours ago. What are you talking about? What? It's time doesn't work the same.

I'd like to imagine I'm just leaning on one of the posts on Pop's Chicken Group at this point. Yes, and that was days ago, weeks even. Not for me, pure incest. Time. Sorry, sorry, of course. I look at Pip.

I guess you have given I've done the spiel Yes, we're trapped Yes Got to kill someone, wouldn't be the first time I've had to kill someone to get out of a country Me and Hector here, we have something to do

So you're welcome Well, not to stay here, this is my house Sorry, yes The So you're welcome. Well, not to stay here. This is my house. Sorry. Yes, the seer, you're the assassin. You're the assassin. Right. She said we'd have an assassin.

We'd meet an assassin to help. She mentioned generals. Please, say my profession a little louder. You got two of them. You poor son of a bitch. Sorry. Well, um... Hey, you got two of them. You poor son of a bitch. Far out. No, sorry. Sorry, Peter,

but you're not exactly subtle about the whole thing, are you? Well, the fucking idea of it is that you don't see me, though. Or if you do see me, I kill you. Well, that's some assassins. Some assassins just blend in.

The good assassins blend in. Oh, do they? I'm sorry. And your extensive knowledge of it would be? Nothing. Never mind. Forget I said anything. Please get this over with.

Are you also an assassin, he says. Assassin. Yes, call it out like that. Like you're doing the job as well. I am a chicken farmer. I'm sorry to say here. This is the chicken. I wanted to grab the card of the assassin.

Just slam it, chuck it towards him. Well, she already knows you're here. Well, whatever then. So you're hitching up with the chicken man instead of me. Yes, we have to go fight. What do you mean instead of you? Well, do you know where we're going? The gentleman over here gestured towards the castle.

I can see the castle. Oh, yes, if you want to go and die quickly and painfully, yes, you can go straight to the castle. Sure. Generally, when you are taking a job, do you try to get as much information as possible or do you run straight there? Well, I don't typically interview a chicken farmer. Yes. Hang on.

Let me count. One. Yes. That's the chicken I'm farming. As much as you are a chicken farmer, you did deal with those diarist wolves. He's amazing. What? Those what-ist wolves?

Diarist wolves. Apparently there's something called a diarist wolf. It's not important. He was able to chase them off. And as you can see, well, maybe not, this place seems very hostile and he has managed to keep a chicken alive. To be fair, that's mostly

on the chicken. Never mind then. Honestly, if the chicken died, that would be quiet. I'm in your corner. What are you doing? I just take a breath. Sure. A hostile environment here on this little farm.

I spoke to this seer who suggested that – My seer? This seer. This seer that was in this – her name is Madam Eva. If you want – look, it's not that far up here. And if you would like to have a chat with them themselves, they are tied, maybe not. They would suggest I would meet some people that would,

I want to maybe even just like, maybe glance at Pip to see if perhaps Madame Eva gave him something similar, and now things are clicking into place. She says, she prophesies that I would meet several people that would help me with this particular goal of escaping, as well as in the future.

Do you believe this, Sia? Well, quite frankly, it's all I have to go on right now. So this, what did you say his name was? His name is Madame Eva. No, no, no, not the Sia. Oh, Baron von Strahd. Strahd von Zarevich. Zarevich. Yes.

That was all we know. Zarevich. Yes. That was all we know. Is this going to be a difficult assassination target? Because it wouldn't be the first count, Viscount, or whatever that I've killed. Is there any extra that I would need to know? There was a story of a powerful wizard that one of the Vistani said that went up against him.

And there was an army about a year ago. So this is true? Yes, I've – yes. Okay. So – Get a good boy card. So there was a – look, I don't know. You perhaps know. It's not important.

It's not worth talking about. Yes, Baron von Strahd, I mean, it's more than just a – he's more than just a simple human being. Well, he's kept people entrapped here in Barovia for centuries, for a very long time. Evil sort of person, then? Yes. Alright, well, I'll shack up with

you, then, he says to you, Hector. Evil sort of person. You're a paladin, right? You kill them. You're like an assassin, but for evil people. I'm like an assassin, but for everyone. Mostly, yes, for devil's demons. These are the kind of things that we...

Yes, I guess you could argue yes. Yes. Madame Eva said that I'm going to help you kill them, and then we're going to leave. Yes, to escape and then hopefully... It seems like a long, roundabout way of doing it, but I put a lot of stock

in prophecies, he says. I just, like, give an incredulous look, like I don't. Well, she also... I grabbed the other three cards. Yes, there was the drinking companions, this huntress, and this

traveler. Perhaps there are other people like ourselves that are trapped here that perhaps they could help us out. If you look at that, Pop, I say, we've got two chosen ones. How lucky could we be? Two chosen ones who've entered Barovia with nothing,

no idea what they're doing, and they think they can do something that, you know, if it could be done, surely by this point... You're right, Peeb. I'm so sorry. You're very right. Maybe we're getting ahead. We have werewolves to fight.

Pyrrhon? Yes. Yes. So if you wouldn't mind, I mean, once we've done that, he's all yours. We did have sort of a deal. Why are we killing... Whatever. i've killed werewolves before oh good three people oh this is this is going to be a breeze although i have i like waggle emmanuel demos the dark places edition silver don't have any silver need silver to kill a werewolf pyrrhon takes out of his pocket a dagger

you can see it's made of silver. Can we melt it down? It's just that I tend to fight with a crossbow. Well, one silver dagger between three, you know. It's okay. I have it, he says, and he pockets it. Is there anywhere else we can perhaps get some silver? Do I know where silver would be acquirable? The Vistani wagon might have it.

I don't want to go there Well you keep quiet on that And I know as well that healing magic will damage a wolf man That's true Oh in that case great Look I'm a little bit If they're transformed

Sorry Transformed into a human or transformed into a wolf? God, now I have to look through the book again. Once they're in a trans,

I had to quotation myself, transmogrified state, so yes, whilst they're transformed, then healing magic will harm them. So,

sorry to, I don't mean to bother to ask the same question again, but do you mean in their human form or in their wolf form? In their wolf form. Okay, thank you so much. If they're in the human form, we need wolfsbane. The theory holds that if they are in a transmogrified state,

then the magic contained within the god's own healing will attempt to heal them back to their state of origin. Which you take to mean they've got werewolf legs, but then the healing magic is like, well, you should have human legs. So let's force that. That's very good. Well, I've had a morning. If we could perhaps just have a bit of a – what time is it already? It's probably noon.

Noon. I would like, if possible, a rest. But, oh, oh sorry I forgot this conversation I just grab a punnet of strawberries and offer them to Pip as a thank you for your hospitality I take the strawberries off you

I perhaps I was a little rude earlier for that I apologize thank you for the strawberries a little rude earlier. For that, I apologize. Thank you for the strawberries. Would you like a strawberry?

Piran just takes a strawberry. Thank you. I appreciate that. So kind of your strawberry. Yes, you're welcome to rest up here at my property for the day, conceivably. We could take the night, too, if you think you need a rest. What's the nearest town? Kresok.

Can we not stay there? You can, yes. There is, wasn't Velikai? Velikai is the bigger town. That doesn't seem like the reason why he wouldn't have mentioned Krezic. And Krezic is just across the road, really. I let the pregnant pause just happen. And maybe just eat the strawberry.

Piran, who hasn't picked up on this yet, says, Perhaps we should head to Krezik. I feel like I would rather be within walls. Is there walls to the city of Krezik? There are, yes. There are walls to the city of Krezik. He's already failed this check. No, actually, this time he looks at you suspiciously.

And if I were to head to Krezic, I would be allowed within? Well, they're very particular about who they let in. Is it because we look like? Look like. Well, he's a T-Fling and he's an ASMR. I don't think they'll care. I don't think they'll care, right? No, you actually don't know the racial disposition of the president. I've actually never been inside.

Yeah, you wouldn't know shit about him. I don't imagine they'll care. I mean, it's rare to see an ASMR or a tiefling anywhere in Barovia just because it's rare to see anyone from outside, but I don't think that'll be a problem. So what is it? It's just a particularly safe city. And in a place like

Brovia, where everything's trying to slit your neck, I want to make sure it doesn't get overrun, I suppose. They're particular about who they let in for that reason. No riffraff. So we could just give up and ask for entry? Yes, I suppose you could.

I will remain here. If that's all the same to you do you have any anything on your person there Pyrrhon Pyrrhon pats himself down I believe everything I left with

I've got he moves his cloak and you can see he has a rapier at his side he has a pack with him

that contains oh he's also on his belt he's got several daggers and maybe throwing knives you can see in his pack he takes out a short bow he's got he's got a lot of stuff

is what I'm saying he's I happen to be robbed by a druid perhaps we can maybe if we're done with this werewolf thing we can hunt that down

perhaps I don't have any gold left unfortunately Maybe after we're done with this werewolf thing, we can hunt that down. Perhaps I don't have any gold left, unfortunately. How sad. If we are pipped, maybe like kind of like swallowing like he hates to do it, take a gold out. For the strawberries, let's say, and I'll give you a gold. Thank you. Just if we need to stay somewhere for the evening.

Yes. Thank you a gold. Thank you. Just if we need to stay somewhere for the evening. Yes. Thank you so much. We'll head to Kresik and we'll meet you here in the morning. In the morning. That sounds like a good plan. I need to… If you can get silver, if you can find silver or otherwise, I'll figure something out. Silver or that wolf's bane you said.

Yes, if there's wolf's bane there, that would be useful. If they are not in a wolf form, silver is better. If they aren't in a wolf form, it's a whole them. I don't know. Wolf form is a whole thing. Wolfsbane is a plant. Does it grow in Barovia? Yeah. You could search for wolfsbane. Maybe I'll find the wolfsbane.

They've got it. You would probably actually want to. It's a forest that you find wolfsbane in, which so would mean that you want to head towards Krezic. You could go westward, but that's where Boris lives. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Look, I'll search for wolfsbane around my house, and you go to Krezic you could go westward but that's where Boris lives yeah yeah okay look I'll search for wolfsbane around my house and you go to Krezic if you can find silver or whatever else you need clothing are you going to head westward where Boris kind of lives or are you going to head because you'll be walking basically with them towards Krezic and then you just keep going all right well I'll walk with them to Krezic but like the moment we get within the border of the road or the town, I don't want to be seen. All right. I would say it's kind of obvious that Pip doesn't want to be seen by the town of Kresik. He's making a very obvious...

It's impossible for him to not make an obvious show of not wanting to be seen. Yes. Have you ever seen a man want to try to be avoided by people? I see it quite often, actually. But I would be biased. Yes, fair. People who I tend to interact with don't, like, kind of, they will often know that someone, not necessarily me, is coming.

So they try to hide, you know. Oh, do you think somebody is hunting a good friend? I'm behind them, I imagine. Oh, you are? No, not like directly behind you. I was thinking we'd have this conversation when you had left. Yeah, that's fair.

Because that would be rude. Well, yeah, I was like, if I'm still here, I imagine I was like way up the back looking for Wolfsbane so that I couldn't overhear. But also it's good to have it after I've gone. Yeah, yeah.

I would not be that direct. Pyrrhon smiles to himself and says, I would highly doubt if there wasn't someone out there who wanted him dead. Well, do you want me to do the talking? Yes, as an ASMR, if they're going to be racist towards anyone,

they will be racist towards me before they're racist towards you. I wish that was not true. Right, we'll head off to the gate. We've got t-shirts with Jiggle Lump on them. We've got t-shirts with brown travelers on them. We've got the Greyhill Free Company logo, or just the D&D is for Nerds logo if you're not feeling too fancy. Show off your love for D&D is for Nerds and help support the show by heading to sanspantsradio.com forward slash shop today. Assume there's an entry point where there's guards.

Yeah, you see showing off there's a big, solid, sturdy-looking stone wall that clearly runs the entire perimeter of Krezik. You can see... Well, you can't see into the town itself, but there is a giant hill that sits on the... That would be the eastern side of Krezik. And on that hill, there is another walled compound, and you can see there is an abbey within.

You can see, like, the bell tower and whatnot yeah okay as you approach the gate house the air grows colder as you approach the walled settlement two square towers with peaked roofs flank a stone archway into which is set a pair of 12 foot tall iron bound wooden doorsved into the arch above the doors is the name Krezik. The walls that extend from the gatehouse are 20 feet high. Atop the parapet you see four figures wearing fur hats and clutching spears. They watch

you nervously. I want to huddle up because I'm now very cold. So they're the people that, like, there's no one in the gates. There's no one at ground level, no. I just want to wave. Who are you? My name is Sir Hector.

I am a knight of the cloth. We were wanting safe passage into your city for the night. We do not recognize knights of the cloth. That's fair. We just arrived. The guards look about each other and one of them calls out, We will have to talk to the Burgermaster.

I will return. Take your time. It is fine. You're waiting maybe 15 minutes and then another figure steps out onto the parapet. Maybe go to the parent, have you ever heard of a virgin master?

yes I believe I have, yes it's like a mayor yes, just the leader I mean like of course they're searching for a leader I think it's like a mayor type character

it's rare though, I think the h like a mare-type character. It's rare, though. I think the Huss people sometimes use the term. Right, okay. Yeah. Another figure steps out onto the parapet. You can see that he has kind of... Well, I guess you can't see his balding head because he's so much higher than you,

but somehow you're aware that he has a balding head. Exactly like how I imagined. He's got a big, bushy, handleding head. Exactly like how I imagined. He's got a big, bushy handlebar mustache. Exactly like how I imagined. I'm basically imagining Dr. Robot right now. And he's wearing heavy, fur-lined clothing. It looks, even from a distance, you can tell that it is fancy, like wealthy-looking clothing. Probably quite warm.

Oh, that would be... He looks down at you and calls out, I am the Burgermaster, Dmitry Krezkov. Nice to meet you, Burgermaster. I am Sir Hector Dragonsbane, Knight of the Cloth, and this is my associate, Pyrrhon. You wish to... Oh, by the way, before I say Pyrrhon, I have asked,

what does he like to be called? Pyrrhon is fine. Pyrrhon is fine? asked what does he like to be called? Pyrrhon is fine. Pyrrhon is fine? Yeah. You wish to enter Krezik? If possible for the night. This will not be possible. Is there anything we can do to get into Krezik?

There is to the north of here a den of werewolves. If you were to slay the werewolves and bring proof, we will let you in. Until then, it is too dangerous to allow anyone who, to be honest themselves, could be a werewolf. It makes a level of sense.

We were just going to do that. Is there any... Do you have any items to help us, like silver or wolf's pain? My good friend, if we have silver, it is being used in defense of the city. Fair enough. We are going off to this den tomorrow morning. Do you have anything to spare, if possible? He gives you an almost sad look, and he says, We will give you some clothes, but I will not spare anything that I do not think will come back.

Clothes would be useful. They, in like a bucket, lower down some warm clothes. Excellent. Hell yeah. Fured up. I wish you the best of luck. If you do not return, I will ask the next people to gather your corpse that we might bury it. Thank you. I

appreciate it. Love that Barovian hospitality, baby. Alright. You and Piran leave somewhat dejected. Piran turns to you and says, I could sneak in. And to get what? Well, if they do have any silver, I could search for it.

Yeah, I mean, perhaps that would be useful. It might go... It might not look great if we go back tomorrow, so... Well, if you don't think you can be seen, I don't see why not. Alright. Are you heading back to Pip's shack?

Um... Because you went... Because Pip went further than us, didn't he? Yeah, Pip passed. I'm in the woods. Pip probably mentioned, I assume, that you're in the woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you why I was coming with you. Alright then. Well, I'll

attempt to find something within Krezak. I'm going to see what you can find. I will meet you tomorrow at midday at Pip's shack. You part ways. Okay. Hi, see what you can find. I will meet you tomorrow at midday at Pip's shack. You part ways. Okay. Heyselos. Heys. Ah, that sucks. Alright. You see

a dark figure crouched low and perfectly still, aiming a crossbow in your direction. Then you scan and you see one, two, three, four more, five total, all with crossbows aimed directly at you. One of them calls out, identify yourself. My name is Sir Hector Drakenspen.

I am a knight of the cloth. I am new here. I just arrived. It's my first day. It's my first day. One of the figures slowly approaches you, still with crossbow drawn. They lower it slowly. If you want to rob me, I need to inform you that unfortunately I have already been robbed.

The one approaching you slowly lowers his crossbow and says, Do not resist. If you are not a werewolf, you have nothing to fear. Oh, yes. No, I'm not a werewolf. He takes from within his cloak, he takes out a small silver dagger. When I say dagger, I mean like this dagger is maybe the size of, I don't even know. It's like a butterfly knife.

Like an envelope, you know. Yeah, like an envelope cutter sized dagger made out of silver. He presses it against your skin. Okay. And when nothing happens, he backs away and nods towards the first guy you saw. All of them slowly lower their crossbows. They don't disarm, they don't, like, they're not, they're just not

pointing them at you anymore. They're still loaded, they're just pointed at the ground now. We are guards for the local town of Krezik. Yes, we just, I just came from the entrance where your Berger master gave me some clothes. You are to hunt the Werwels? Yes.

All of them make, not a sign of the cross, but kind of like a... You can tell that it's got an equivalent significance to them. They all kind of bring their... What's the finger? The pointer finger and thumb. Index.

Index, yes. Index and thumb, they bring them to their lips and then kind of point it up towards the sky. And you get the air of making a sign of the cross sort of equivalent. Not now. I'm looking for a friend of mine. He went to the woods to get some wolfsbane.

A clever tactic to gather wolfsbane. A pity it only grows in places where wolves live. Ah, oh. I'm sure he knows that. Well then, carry on, and good luck to you. May the Morning Lord watch over you. Yes, may the Morning Lord watch over you too. You wouldn't happen to have a spare anything silver on you by any chance?

We have no spare silver. Anything I could do to acquire a silver... One of those... I kind of jested. Anything I can perhaps do? We... You can have the silver if you kill the werewolves. Until then, we need it.

It is fair. Thank you anyway. Pip. Unfortunately, you are unable to find any wolfsbane, but... Shit. You do find Hector. And Hector, you find Pip. Couldn't find any wolfsbane, but you do find Hector. And Hector, you find Pip. I couldn't find any wolfsbane.

Well, we couldn't. They actually want us to kill the werewolves to get into it. So Perrin's going to maybe try to find an alternate entrance to see if he can procure some things that might help, to see what he can do. And then he's going to meet us in midday. I rather hope we leave in the morning, but I suppose we can wait till midday. Do you need some help looking for the wolfsman? Yes.

Do I think that continuing to search is, like, risky? I mean, yeah, every time you roll to search, you're also making an encounter roll, so there is a risk involved, but it's not a guarantee. What time is it? It would be about, like, 3pm, and you know that this place gets a lot more dangerous after dark. Yeah, I don't want to be here after dark. You know it would be,

if you left now, you would get back to your shack before nightfall, you could keep searching, and then you would be at least out of the... So, all right. Levels of risk. Being in the woods, riskier than being anywhere else. At nighttime, it also gets riskier. So, it would be nighttime before you got back, but you would be out of the woods before you got back.

Oh, okay. So, basically, nighttime woods, guaranteed dangerous situation. Yeah, guaranteed bad time just being around Barovia slightly possible bad time night time or in woods chance of bad time now with wolfsbane

so I use wolfsbane to identify if somebody is a werewolf but do I think knowing where the werewolves are and how werewolves operate that the chances are if I see a bunch of people together in a cave, they're the werewolves. Well, you know where their cave is. Yeah, so I'm like, they're all werewolves,

so getting the wolf's bane, whilst useful, might not be super necessary. Well, wolf's bane also hurts werewolves. Yeah, okay. I mean, play that as you will. Yes, I think it's worth considering that we have one silver dagger and you're healing magic anything we can have

in our corner is probably necessary so if you don't mind me searching I'll describe what Wolfsbane looks like yeah exactly if you would let me

what it looks like I could help you look as well so the way I'm gonna do this is Hector yep

you can make a survival check to give Pip advantage on their survival check. Oh, yeah. You need to get at least a 10. If you get five or less, you give them disadvantage because you fuck it up so badly that you mislead. Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, I've got only a plus one on survival, but, however, I am optimistic to a fault. So, I'm helping. Good stuff. Well, double good news. Get a good boy card for being optimistic to a fault, and also you give advantage to Pip's roll. Lucky. Pip, you get, let's say, three doses of wolfsbane.

Nice. Plenty. Fifteen pieces of ammunition or five, fifteen strikes with a weapon. So do I just apply it to the weapon? Yeah. Just the Wolfsbane Roar, basically? Oh, no, no, no.

Well, Wolfsbane Roar will do a little... Imagine, like, Wolfsbane Roar does one point of damage. Yeah, okay. But if you put it into a potion... I can enhance it, yeah, for sure. Hmm.

That's great news. Yes. All right, well, thank you very much for helping me identify. This is going to make this a lot easier. Not that this will be hard, I don't think. But this will certainly make what was already an easy task more simple. Yes.

Yes, but it is getting terribly dark, and if we're in the woods after dark, we might as well be dead. So let's... Yes, of course. Mosey on. As you're walking back towards your cabin, Pip, you spot that there are a bunch of ravens, six ravens in total, just circling around in the air.

They don't appear to be doing anything specific. You can't tell what their purpose is here, Pip. You just see that they're like lazily flying in circles. Whereas Hector, yeah. Hector see that they're like lazily flying in circles, whereas Hector Yeah. Hector, you take one look at this and you think, you immediately you're like, this is really fucking weird. There's just a bunch of ravens lazily

flying in circles. What the fuck? I'm gonna set up a scarecrow I say. Are they ravens? They come around here and they want to eat the radishes and pumpkins, I think. They're here after my crops. This is still within the radishes and pumpkins, I think. They're here after my crops. This is still within the wooded area. Yeah, yeah.

There is a little bit of a clearing where they're flying around. You assume they're on, you know what ravens mean. You assume they're on some business, you're not sure what it is. But also standing in this little clearing area, you see a absolutely mountainous creature. It's not a monster, it's a humanoid an orc specifically actually even from behind you can tell he has a long staff that he has kind of resting upon one shoulder he's got a big backpack like mass like a modern day not literally a modern day but you know you can imagine like the size of a backpacker's backpack. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just a simply enormous backpack, which is taken off and it's leaning on one side as well. And he's staring up at the ravens, presumably with curiosity, but you can't see his face right now. Okay. So the ravens are circling, yeah? And they're circling this orc. No, they're circling in the clearing. The orc is standing kind of more at the edge of the clearing, but in the clearing still.

I don't stop. What is going to... There's ravens in the sky. Right. And a gentleman of some kind. Orcs, Adam. Yeah. In Kandor.

Sure. And my relationship to orcs. Would I be tense? Would I be like maybe, okay, do I know of any sort of friendly orcs? Because I assume half orcs are those kind of people that people in Cando we tend to kind of interact with. Maybe not, they're not like outcasts and such. They're not exactly pariahs, but maybe orcs, I'd be more of a...

Well, it depends on a few things. Okay. It would depend first on the King king's trail which is a very populous very well-worn trading network runs partially through candle your proximity to the king's trail within candle would have dictated how many non-humans you would have seen in your lifetime. If you are closer to the King's Trail than further, so closer to like the metropolitan heart of Kandor, you would have encountered a lot more races. And so you might be a little bit more cosmopolitan. Yeah, yeah.

You might be a little bit more open in your leanings, amicable to a creature that you have not met, or maybe something like an orc. Also, if you lived coastally you might be aware that orcs from mara or not i'm sorry orcs from iron tooth which is a island giant island not too far or yeah not too far away from kandor some as a right to their god, go on kind of raiding journeys along the coastline. So you might also be aware that orcs can bring destruction. But if you lived near the King's Trail as well,

you would also know that that is not all orcs. That is orcs who worship particular deities. Right. And, okay, and this particular orc, does he, I guess, so he's got a backpack on. He looks like, perhaps, am I, am I, I'm getting visions of Traveller? Am I getting visions of maybe? You take one look at, he's barefoot, but you can see he has very well, like, travel-hardened feet. Okay. So I'm like, again, taken to this prophecy like a duck to water, maybe. Sure. He has heaps of Traveller vibes, absolutely.

Okay, so it's like, you know, well, not the assassin. He's only one of them, so he can't be the drinking companions. And if they were a hunter, well... Not a great job. So how far away are we from this particular orc? Not too far.

Maybe only 30 feet. Okay, so... If he has heard you approach, he's not turning to face you. Have I noticed that he's stopped? I assume you've stopped. Of course he... It'd be hard to not notice.

Hello, friend. The orc turns to face you. He's got two giant tusks jutting out of his lower jaw, which sits forward. And when he turns to face you, he talks through the tusks. A pleasure to meet you. Who may I say you are?

I am Sir Hector Dragonsbane. Well met, Sir Hector Dragonsbane. He takes one of his giant fists, slams it against his chest, and says, I am Agoragash, the mighty. Nice to meet you, Agoragash. Are you a native to this fine land, or have you found yourselves

perhaps trapped? I am far from my home, and I have been for a long time. Where, what land is this? This is, is it Barovia? Yes. Yes.

I'm leaning against the tree. Maybe I'm sitting down. I do not know this name. How many times is this going to happen today? I arrived, I guess, last night or something along those lines. I've not been here very long. But my good friend here, Pip, he has been here for- We've just met.

He steps towards you. And as he steps towards you, you notice that- Oh, actually, I should roll. Pip, you don't care. Hector, you notice as he steps, the air kind of moves with his feet. And every time he takes a step, the grass around his feet flattens not just where he steps but around his feet.

You can see that there is quite obviously some magic to how he walks. He looks you up and down just as you look him up and down and he obviously takes in your tabard any religious accoutrement you might have about your person and he says you are a holy man.

I do not recognize these insignia. Right. I come from Kandor. I am a knight of the cloth. Kandor. He shakes his head again. I do not know it. Your homeland is?

Far from here. Does it have a name? Who can say? It has a name in my tongue, but translated, it just means home. Oh, right. Well, yes, I suppose

Kanda would be my home as well. If he's interested, I'll make a point out the tabard. I assume it's of the sun, like the gnomes in Pena. I would assume so, yeah. But it could represent, it could be largely anything. You're still wearing my second-hand clothes, yeah? Oh, yeah. Would I have had it?

I don't know if you'd have a tabard, but you've got the religious symbol. I might have a pendant. Yeah, maybe he just sees the pendant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot how robbed I was. Yeah. I might have a pendant. Yeah, maybe he just sees the pendant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot how robbed I was. Yeah. Well, if he's like, you know, any kind of interest,

I think I would take a moment to talk about gnomes and penia. He nods, seemingly interested. You speak a little about your deities. He nods and finally says, I have heard some of gnomes and Penia. I do not know of Candor, but I do know of those names. Good to hear that it is a travel to wherever you are. Find gods for an Aesimar? Yes, yes, yes.

Find gods for an Aesimar to worship. Appropriate, he says. Maybe, Pip, you recognize when someone is being condescending more than you recognize Hector. You get the impression that Gorgash is kind of more humoring Hector than anything else. He quite obviously is like, oh, yes, that's very nice for you. Oh, very nice little gods you've got there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for you. Very nice little gods you've got there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. There seems to be a measure of respect, but he also is like,

oh, like, it's nice that you have your nice little customs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't remark on it, but I just watch from the tree. Maybe I've got Emmanuel the Monster, Dark Places Edition out, and I'm thumbing through it. Yeah.

Look, if I don't even pick that up, maybe I'm noticing maybe this orc is interested. He just seems like he's curious about your religion. That's nice. It always starts with curiosity. Gonna try and convert one another.

What a delight that's gonna be to watch. So, what are you doing here? I noticed you noticed the birds as well. I have not seen such creatures where I am from. I am curious after them. What is their name? I think they are just ravens.

They're just ravens. Just ravens. Yes. Is this a title? Just? No. The creature's name is Raven. And they are just ravens.

They are only ravens. They're not... Well, yes, yes. Yes, they're just ravens. They're called just ravens. Anyway, if I had a watch, I'd be poking at it right now. He understands that you're mocking him a little bit, and he seems genuinely shocked that you would mock him.

You're getting the air that he kind of thinks he's better than the two of you. He's trying not to be obvious about it, but there's a little bit of superiority on his part. Anyway, Hector, if we stop for every random person staring at birds in the woods, we'll never get back to the house. So yes, there are ravens. I guess you do not have many birds where you're from? There are birds in my homeland, but they are large, much larger than this. These are smaller than even babies. Well, we're heading back to our abode.

All your abode. to our abode. There are werewolves. All your abode. All your abode. There are werewolves around, so be careful if you've not come across them just yet. I fear not, werewolves, but I see the prudence in traveling in packs. Perhaps I could move with you for now. I'm about to say yes. And then I'm like,

look, just glance to Pip. We have business tomorrow. Have you fought any werecreatures before? That we... Yes, many. Lycans, I say, of the lupine variety. No, we haven't werewolves where I'm from, but we have were of other shorts. I've fought a werebear and a wererat before.

Narcissist, fellas. I have fought mostly wererocks. Not the... Oh, the bird. The gigantic bird. Yes. Oh. I mean, anything's possible.

You come from a very bird-heavy realm. Just the one. But many of them, he acknowledges. Sure. Well, yes. We're meeting up with one of our teammates tomorrow at midday. Then we're going to go and – there's a den there, wasn't there? Yes, there's a den.

And going to try and clear that out. He seems curious at the idea of a werewolf den. Actually, you don't need to roll. He just straight up says, I would be curious to test my mettle upon these lupine creatures to see if they are as good sport as those of my homeland. Well, yes. Well, let's head off.

I think Pete was mentioning that once it gets dark, it is... It's not... I mean, I'm sure, and I say this dripping with sarcasm, I'm sure you're more than capable of fighting whatever Barovia throws at you, but it probably would behoove you to be out of the woods with the sunsets. No need to be rude. Lead on. Okay. To be continued... from us, then perhaps I should welcome you to the world of darkness. Here, the dead don't stay buried, and there are more layers to the world beyond our own. Join us in this anthology series

of unspeakable horrors set in a world not that different from our own, where we go beyond the map. Head on over to sanspantsradio.com forward slash podcasts and search for our beyond the map series to join us on this journey as we explore our deepest fears though be warned sometimes shining a light into darkness only makes it mad To be continued... the word where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to sans pants plus members the further adventures of the grey hill free company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests and dnd is for nerds not of not where all our non-canon dnd adventures go to rest just search for dnd is for nerds on your favorite podcast app choice and join us on this epic quest of dnd podcast discovery