D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #20 The Lesser of Two Evils

Episode Date: January 28, 2023

We all learn a little bit more about Pip’s time in Barovia and the people he abandoned before making several plans on how to handle the many and various monsters threatening Vallaki.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Let this one tell that one a tale. The story of great heroes marooned without a sea, stranded in a place of nightmares called Barovia. The antagonist, a creature known as Strahd Von Zarovich. As all great epics, someone must die, either Strahd or our heroes. Sorry, Danica, this is Jeska.

He has recently, his father passed, and... Jeska, I, yes, all right, I... Why is he here and not at the orphanage? Well, there is unfortunately the orphanage right now is not very safe. So Yeska is here. Is it possible? We will look after the boy. Bring a dog, bring a kid.

Where's the dog? The dog is out the back with one of the boys. Where's the dog? The dog is out the back with one of the boys. Danica leans in, calls over her other son, who comes in and leads Jeska out the back. Yes, good. Jeska, this is... Did I catch the boy's name?

Danny's name? Danny's his name? Oh, yeah. Well, you would hear she leans into the back and calls out, Brom, I need your hand with something. Take this boy here. Jeske is his name. She introduces the two boys.

Take him out the back to Bray and the dog. I might, like, you know, kneel down if, like, I don't know how Jeske's going. And it's like, yeah, so go ahead and have a play with two wonderful people. And there's, yes, there's a lovely beagle there. Look at Brom. Have you found a suitable name for the beagle yet? Were we meant to name the dog? All right, we will name the dog.

Well, how about this? Why don't the two of you and your brother, why don't you come to a conclusion of what we should call that little puppy? Brom nods and leads Jeska away. Do they go through the kitchen? Yeah. Maybe like with a carrot in my mouth, just watching them like, what?

What? What? Danica gestures and says, we should have this conversation in the back. Right, yes. Thank you so much. We walked towards. Everyone is reunited. We're back.

The kitchen. A boy? This is a long story. Well, I thought it might have been related to the tongues, but I don't think it is. It We're back. The kitchen. A boy? This is a long story. Well, I thought it might have been related to the tongues, but I don't think it is. It is something else. Actually, someone you might know. Oh, yeah? Claudia Tiefling.

Oh. What's my relationship with Claudia? You, a bit over a year ago, you came to Valakai with Keening, and the two of you split up trying to gather support around this place. You had heard that the leader of the orphanage had some magical aptitude and so you went over to speak to her. You gave a very impassioned speech

about why, about your cause, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. It might have been your own words, but it might have been... Keening's words. Yeah, Keening's words through your mouth. He was a very... Keening isening oh yeah was is and continues to be a quite charismatic man so it is entirely possible that you had been either you maybe were a true believer or you just kind of got swept up yeah yeah but either way you gave a very impassioned speech to which

you caused her to crack a little and cry a little she believed in the cause and was one of the most fervent like adopters of it and she was given a cadre of a few people to on a specific mission to try and get down into the dungeons to free some people from jail cells down there you are aware that she is the only survivor. Well, maybe I'll be as flippant. It might be a simple orphanage. Yes, there is something not well with the orphanage. We spoke to Claudia, I believe.

You know of her. She's another survivor. And I think... How is she? I think she brought something back with her. Kind of like maybe

it is causing the orphanage itself, it seems to be cursed. It's like a green mist, it's causing anger. I thought it might have been related to the cultists perhaps. It was like the children of the occult were there. So it's focusing on the children? Yes, focusing on the children and also anger whenever there is indefinitely not a way.

It's not a demon, a devil. Maybe I flipped through a manual to monster. But it looked like to me. Sounds like hags. And I pass it over. Possibly hag midnight. Hag midnight. And I go back to eating my carrot and looking at what I'm maybe.

Maybe I've got some other pages out where I'm looking over. Maybe I have removed from the book because maybe it's just loose in my book. The watery mass page. And also maybe some of my own notes about the Burgermaster that I'm going over. Will you look over, Hags? I pass it to Yender. Hags.

Yender briefly peruses the book. She, at some point, stretches it out as far as her arm will allow and kind of starts squinting at it. She brings it back up closer to her face. Holding it in that position, she says, she reads, I should say,

So thy musteth, beeth, preparedeth, toeth, followeth, iteth, intoeth, thy etherealeth as well. Yeah, Emmanuel doesn't really understand what the eth does, I think. I mean, did you smell any burning hair

or any rotting flesh? The only thing that I can think of that is maybe, again, we were very brief, but the nursery rhyme is a twisted vision. What's the nursery rhyme? It's the robin. Yeah, Oh, it's the robin. Yeah, okay. I know the robin.

It was, but not the one where it has a, like, who killed me? It was I, said the fly with my many eyes. Yeah, I know the gist. And it was sort of darker. That is the dark version. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yes, I barely know it anyway.

Yender shakes her head and says, no, there was a... I convinced the headmistress to give me a little walk around before you arrived. I did smell burning hair. It smelled like it was coming from upstairs. I asked and the headmistress said that had been there for a little while at least,

but it's a newer thing. And the kids are acting like little shits? Yeah. Textbook hags. Well, there's hags in the orphanage. Okay, well, it's another thing to add to the pile. Hags! Hags in the orphanage!

Well, I want to just kind of like sit down and just, How was your day, Gorgash and Chaucer? I suppose you filled everybody in about the time you were in the... Yeah. Chaucer says, we had a wonderful day until recently. Not that obviously, I mean... Yes, it's fine. I mean, that is a shit show, Chaucer.

You can say it we are so why did the town guard want us I mean well of course I explained what I heard Danica explains it actually she's probably

gotten a little bit more information since you are both of you wanted for the murders of a they do not even

name them a man out the back of this very tavern but then also the tanner you are wanted for her murder and the person they probably found of a, they do not even name them, a man out the back of this very tavern, but then also the tanner. You are wanted for her murder. And the person they probably found. An unidentified person. Yeah.

They are missing a tongue, I imagine. And yes, this, interesting that you say tongues because they're pinning all of that on you as well. Ah, fantastic. That's a lot of, okay. Why did she put the rose in the mouth? Who knows, Hector? The point is right now we need to prioritize. Fantastic. That's a lot of... Why did she put the rose in the mouth? Who knows, Hector?

The point is right now we need to prioritize. Yender puts up a hand and shakes her head. It's a part of the... I don't want to talk too much about it. I don't even want to mention its name, but it's part of the ritual. Hold on. Who is this? This is Yender. She is a priest?

Priest, yeah. A member of the clergy. I don't like titles, she says. We know the same gods. She has been... What a great way to put it. She has been working, or she has been passing her time when she got here in the town of Barovia. Yen to Brightmoon, she says.

You're the... Yeah. Another Taraka dick. Actually, yes. Another one. What? She says. You haven't yet met Madame Eva, have you? Yes. Oh, Vistani, right?

Yeah, I've heard some of the other Vistani talk about her. Seer of some sort? Yes. So everyone on this table, she told me I would meet, and you were one of them. Oh, all right. That's interesting. Yeah, sorry, I've been a bit preoccupied. We got a joint destiny, twin fates, if you will.

Yes. Yeah, something like that. Back in Kandor, down in Fairborn Point, there is a, honestly, to me right now, Strahd is a bit of a roadblock. There is an inky black, this... Yen'dal laughs at the idea,

like a dark laugh at the idea of Strahd being a roadblock on your way to something else. Yes, there is a malevolent force down there. I mean, you must have heard of Sir Grace.

Grace's companions? I know of them, yeah. Grace is no longer, I think, in control of, well, Grace. That is a disquieting thought, she says. Yes. Is this the first time you're hearing about it? No, I know. I just didn't listen the first time. And I haven't listened this time. You're absentmindedly somewhere else right now.

I'm still looking through Emmanuel the Monster monster maybe in fact i interrupt i'm like can you uh enter the pegs fight the theory really can you enter the is there going to be a problem uh no or i i can't enter the ethereal but i got all my magic they hate divine magic as well or magic divinely source not necessarily i got some divine source magic, yeah. Pretty powerful. I don't like to brag, but I'm gifted, she says. That's curious. It's just not, it's coming out of the woodwork, I suppose.

You live here for four years nearly, you don't see any person connected divinely to whatever's up there, and then all of a sudden, two of them in one go. She says, you... How much attention are you currently paying? I know it waxes and wanes, but how much attention are you currently paying? Yeah, I pay attention. I'm involved in the conversation now.

When Yender goes, hmm, you can see there's significance to that. She knows that she's unusual and she's not saying something. What god? Are you the same gods? Yes.

Same, yeah. Specifically Penia. I suppose when Strahd cored this little section out of the cosmology, maybe a bit of Penia was trapped in whatever divine prison cell exists above this material plate. Yeah. She probably says it, that, yeah. She says, she probably says it like that as well. Or some other secret reason, I say. Yeah, she says.

Whatever the case. You don't speak to Penny, or she doesn't directly? She looks, she's quite clearly a little bit more torn lying to you than she was lying to Pip. She looks around. Do you want me to go, I say? It's just a little public here is all. I'll tell you.

I'll tell you. I promise. Let me wait until. It's delicate, she says. Right. All that's important now is that it helps us fighting the hag, to be honest. You can see while you're having this conversation, she's taken her backpack

which is just a chest like a wooden chest that has straps attached to it and she wears it like a backpack. She's taken that around to her front in kind of a protective way. You can see she's not consciously doing it but she is quite clearly being protective of the chest.

Got it in a box. You've seen weirder. It's like so under my breath to be as to almost be inaudible, you know. Imagine like trying to remember the Emmanuel Demonstra entry on God in a box.

And then you're like, oh wait, no, that's a mimic. Emmanuel Demonstra. God in a box, that's a mimic. That's great, I should absolutely do that. God in a box That's a mimic That's great I should absolutely do that God in a box Is a mimic Emmanuel the monster

Basic edition Dungeons edition Dungeons edition If thine has seen Your deity Deities Daver Or other celestial

In box It will give us Thy box Tooths Emmanuel the monster What's in that Damn dungeon edition box. It will give us thy box tooths. Emmanuel de Monster, what's in that damn dungeon edition? So,

if the Burgermaster is eliminated one way or the other, then Lady Watcher gains control and hopefully we are no longer under the... So it is the two people vying for control of Alakai are Lady Watcher gains control, and hopefully we are no longer under the pump. So it is the two people vying for control of Alakai are Lady Watcher and the Burgomaster, right? That's kind of always been the case, even when I was here. Yeah, yeah.

Alakai shakes her head. Is there another option rather than letting Lady Watcher take control? Can you not just prevent this demon thing from happening? just prevent this demon thing from happening. I would, the Burgomaster is not perfect, but he is preferable to Strahd directly running this town. Well, the thing is with this Burgomaster, he won't stop. He would, if the thing that they are worshipping, that is stuck here, they are not going to stop trying to free it.

So unless we can and better that it is here in valakai sure she leaves yeah yeah what is it doing in valakai is it is it even gender speaks and she says it's uh i think it might be sleeping. Not that that is necessarily much of a defense, because even when sleeping, it corrupts around it. So, look, I'm on... There's no good answer to this, because wherever... We can't kill it. We're not going to kill it. No.

And there's nowhere to put it that's safe. What about the Amber Temple? Do you know anything about that? Yender shrugs, what's the Amber Temple? To be honest, I don't even know either. It apparently was where there was some connection there where we're going to be hitting there next. Well, I'm coming to the Amber Temple then.

It was actually, wait, I grabbed the ceremonial knife that has the infernal written in. Yeah. And yeah, this was the knife that they were infernal written in. Yeah. And yeah, this was the knife that they were using to cut off the tongues. Is this important? Do they need this? Because if they need this, good. It's a good

omen that you got that. Look, that, having that is actually going to delay them more than trying to scrub off that sigil. Yeah, and I didn't get much of it scrubbed off before they all came back. It's actually really easy to redo. Scrubbing down the sigil. If you burnt

down the building, that would have been one thing. Scrubbing off the scrubbing off the sigil, that's going to slow them down by maybe a day. But this knife, that's going to take them at least a week or two to get a new one. Well, good.

That buys us more time than anything else. That is good to hear. Let me be a sense of calm, as it were. Well, the inscription on it mentions something to the Amber. I thought maybe it might be related to the Amber Temple. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Possibly.

Perhaps, then, we should go on a little excursion to this amber temple of sorts. I sort of still need to deal with the watery mess. I kind of owe that to the town. It would also be prudent, I suppose, to solve this little issue with St. Andrew's bones as well. Yes, and I guess the hags is that. All right. So, and then also maybe some sort of disruption to this little cult would give us a bit more time

as well, says Yandak. Yes, I guess a hierarchy of problems to yourself. Yeah, that's what I've been saying. We need to prioritize. It seems like we have the time to push the cult down lower on our list of tasks to complete. That's nice.

That's good to hear. So, yes. So the cult is a week, plus however long it will take them to finish the ritual. What's this about bones? The church here, you would know this part, but Yander repeats it anyway. The church, St. Andrew here, it was consecrated ground. Right, yeah.

The consecrated ground. Not anymore. So they had the bones of St. Andrew himself buried on premises, but they've been stolen. The boy that we grabbed, so his father was an apprentice working at the church, and so he died. Well, hags hate God, so that might have something to do with that. Well, it seems that another young boy by the name of Miliov. Okay. He maybe was told by Jeska or convinced.

Either way, Miliov has the bones. Right. Do hags possess? Do they possess? Well, there's a lot of different kind of hags, and I wouldn't call it possession, but midnight hags love to corrupt. Do they need like an inn, I guess, of corruption, or is it they… They kind of just need and i wouldn't call it possession but midnight hags love to corrupt do they need like a an inn i guess corruption or is it there they kind of just need to be around but um well i suppose that they've corrupted this happens at night typically while somebody's sleeping the

midnight hag sort of creeps in hangs over the top of them gets in their dreams corrupts them that kind of thing well i guess we could do that one. Okay, well, it would probably be good for the people of Valakai to have somewhere safe. Putting the bones back is probably worthwhile. Yes, we have that. The watery grave, the so... Watery mass? The watery mass, sorry. The watery mass,

there's half the town guard that aren't in control or wanting to summon him. They're being controlled by the watery mass. Tribbett starts peering over your shoulder looking at Emmanuel and you can see he's got kind of like looking over your shoulder and then

with his free hands he's scribbling down in his little book. Maybe I like kind of lean out of the way so he can look at it properly. Thank you. You're welcome. Is it best to perhaps let that one sit until we deal with the cult? It depends how many people you want the watery mess to eat. Not many.

Yeah, so it's sort of pretty pressing too. But if we... Well... So the problem there is if we, say, get rid of the watery mess, then the people that have been sluzzled by it will then be there to protect, if we do say, to take the burgomaster off the yeah yes that is true the watery mess is controlling at least some of the

burgomaster's men and a lot of the devil worshippers so anybody who is a watery mess initiate is not worshipping the devil currently the people that they are taking I'm going to do some cult math here the people that they are taking because the watery mess there seems to be a lady watcher said that there was a massination of strata.

Yes, probably. Are the people that are being taken, are they the ones who are in the cult? Are they the ones that are trying to summon him? Because if they're the ones that are trying to summon, is that who is being taken? We don't know. I mean, it could be. They're still getting eaten, some of them. Kribbit pipes up and says, Magda was near, but not part of church.

He's like flipping through his book and you see he's, once again, it looks like a child scribbling rather than actual notes, but you can see he points. Clearly he knows what it means. He spins it around and points to a specific part in the book as if he expects you to understand. Oh, yes, of course. She was his wife. I think this one would say that while this church is convenient, it is not only church. Unfortunately, one problem does not fix the other problem.

It would be nice. It would have been nice. Yeah, no, I don't think so. Well, look, I mean, we're not going to the watery mess tonight. So we have the watery mess, the cult, the Burgermaster, and then the hacks. Anything else I'm missing? I guess us being wanted. For you, I gestured at like most of the body, and then I point up to the castle.

Not obviously, we can't see it, but in the direction. And there's for you, a big one. But yeah, those are the ones that we're dealing with at the castle. Not obviously, we can't see it, but in the direction. And there's for you, a big one. But yeah, those are the ones that we're dealing with at the moment. But yes, well,

I think the, and I point back, point to where you pointed, that's not going to be addressed until we deal with the, or head to the Amber Temple. Well,

all right, then here's what I would say. If we're going to do it, let's do it tonight. All I need is some candles for the midnight hag and we can take care of that. Once that's done, tomorrow we make the watery

mess our problem. Deal with that. Then we've got at least the better part of two weeks to go to the Amber Temple. What I was thinking as well is if you needed more time, I don't know how long it's going to take to get to the Amber Temple. You think, at the very least,

probably longer than a week. So you actually, two weeks is probably not enough time. But Yender pipes up saying, I don't know how long it's going to take to get to the Amber Temple, but what we could do is we could split up into two groups. One group stays here in Valakai

and disrupts the cult, makes sure that it takes them a bit longer than a couple of weeks to get a knife, and the other group goes to the Amber Temple, sees what's what. I think that is a good idea. Kribbit is probably the best for that, has he here, so... Kribbit gives a big bow. You turn invisible, do you not?

This one can turn invisible. It would be uncomfortable for this one to enter the story. But as I have already entered the story, I do not think it will be that sort of, I want to call this new style of book documentary. I knew that was coming. And I have decided that a good documentarian should not get involved. But perhaps for this time, I will, since I know the rules, break the rules.

Thank you very much, Krippit. And whatever we do in the Amber Temple, whoever goes, we will take meticulous notes. Thank you, he says. Yes, well, let's do that then. Let's do that. Let's do that. All right, I'm going to need 12 candles, I think. Let me have a look.

Well, I am wanted, you are wanted, Kribbit is wanted. But the other two, and Chonsa,, I guess, Chauncey, would you want to, what do you want? I would like to not die. Let me stay here. The two children here, they are busy most of the day, but whenever I

get a chance to speak to them, it is pleasing. Children have a boundless curiosity that I am quickly discovering I enjoy. I think I can fix two, maybe three problems at once. Um, well, if you want to

part your knowledge onto the youth, I think I know exactly a place where you might be very beneficial if Claudia will have you. Well, this is the most hopeful thing you've said to me yanda agogash uh what supplies you need pip i'm going to need let's call it 10 red and black candles but an uneven number of both some chalk would be good as well and i point to both yanda

and hector like i said hags hate god so the two of you are kind of the perfect people for this yeah go gash look hags especially midnight hags they're pretty ethereal they tend to balk from any kind of physical attack they just back into the ethereal plane so you might not be necessary on this one cribbit oh they're your place one is not good as a fighter, but I can help fighters. Okay, well, then, yeah, Kribbit. Let my words be instructional to you. I give him a thumbs up. Agagash shifts uncomfortably and says,

if it is the ethereal that they transition between, I may be able to help then. Yeah, well, great. Then we'll all go. You can see the ethereal or? I can become ethereal. Perfect. My time transitioning from plane to plane has imparted upon me several powers.

You may not have noticed this, but I can teleport short distances. Yes, I have noticed that, Agogash. I picked up on that. Oh, I thought it would be too quick for you. Anyway. I am also able to step into the ethereal briefly, but nonetheless,

I can. That might be helpful, I suppose. After scanning through Emanuel, I place it back down. We'll have about a minute. A minute to what? What's the game plan? We draw a circle around, well, see best place to capture a midnight hag is

while it's feeding. Draw a circle around the person who is sleeping. Midnight hag trapped in the circle. Ten candles, uneven number, red, white, snuffed out. What do you mean by ten candles and uneven number, red, white? Well, an uneven number of red and white candles making up ten. All right. Thank you.

Five and five, but not six and four. Yes, yes, yes. And then, yes, as each candle is snuffed out, slowly it counts down how long we have to take care of the midnight hag. And you take care of it how? Well, divine magic, mostly, and definitely not cold or poison. All right, so holy damage? Holy damage, but, and this is probably going to be important,

clerics and paladins beware. Radiant damages are the only exception to this, and the Midnight Hag will find corruptions of this energy to supercharge them. So maketh sure that thy spells are non-radiant, but holy nonetheless. Yender looks down at her hands. I just look at Yender. What does he mean by holy but not radiant?

Well, I mean, like, I can create fire. I mean, yes, but he said holy damage. Well, you are holy people. Is that what it needs? I can make holy water. That could help. I don't know if that'll help. Okay, maybe not.

Like, rather than holy fire, I can make like regular fire with holy magic. Maybe that's what it means. I point to Yanda. I guess. What about healing? If I could heal it? Probably not. It would say.

And then at what time shall we? Midnight. Midnight. So we need to get to the- It's a midnight egg. Yanda, why don't you go to the orphanage and tell Claudia that we're coming back at midnight to deal with everything that's coming in? She nods. She gets up

and walks away. A gogash stands up. A gogash nods. I will catch candles. He walks away. And I'm going to see what I can do. I'm going to see if I can use my alchemy kit to make something with God in it.

If you need anything, a Esmir here or something, let me know. Kribbit starts strumming on his lute, playing a little noise, and then Danica sticks her head in and says, Kribbit, would it be okay if you did not alert everyone to your presence? Danny's got a point

there, Kribbit. Hum to yourself if you need to make music. Danny, a question. Is there a third option that is the Burgomaster or Watcher? No one within the town has enough power to take control. If they were both taken off the map, what happens? Chaos. No one

would be able to control the streets. That is not good. No one would have the money to pay town guard. Do you know anything about the hell how big the cult is that the Burgomaster is running? It is about as big as the church within town. They are the two major influences. Is there anything I can do to help? Perhaps.

What can she do to help? What in racking my brain? I'm like, okay, so we have the ceremonial knife we know that that is going to slow them down getting another one they have to make another one yeah they've got to make another one do we know maybe or maybe they need a specific type of metal it has to be cold iron specifically so they'll need a blacksmith they'll need a blacksmith. They'll need a blacksmithy. And in addition to that, they will need to perform the rite underneath a blood moon. A blood moon in Barovia is a lot more common than it is outside of Barovia.

Once a month, probably. Probably more often. Before Yender leaves to talk to Claudia, just to kind of ask, what is the rituals that they need to do? You don't have to go into details, but what are the things that they need? Well, they'll need cold iron, so it'll be iron forged without the heat

of a blacksmithy, meaning that they'll need the blacksmithy tools, but they won't need the actual forge. Right, yes. In addition to that, they'll need the blacksmithy tools, but they won't need the actual forge. Right, yes. In addition to that, they'll need to perform a rite under a blood moon, which I have noticed is a lot more common in Barovia than it is outside of Barovia. So it's not every once a week?

Is this what they have? Maybe about once a week, yeah. Great news. All right, so that's not even a problem. That's a thing. Can't change the moon. Yep. All right, what else? They'll need a week, yeah. Great news. Alright, so that's not even a problem. That's a thing. Can't change the moon. Yep. Alright, what else? They'll need a sacrifice, which

I just don't know if we can stop them from doing. It doesn't even have to be human. The sacrifice can be just a goat is enough. So, yeah, we're not stopping that from happening. What else will they need? They'll need for the dagger the inscription needs to be made

with another dagger that has committed a murder. That is, well they could just sacrifice the, yes they've probably got many of them. Well yeah, you can kill two birds with one stone if they kill a person and then, yep, okay, right and in addition to that they'll need

it's a special type of gold coin it's a gold coin minted in specifically another realm of darkness called Valachan, I think, or something like that. Are they common? I guess they've got one. They're not especially common, no. It's about yay big, she says. It's maybe, I don't know how many inches or million inches or whatever the imperialist. But imagine a coin about 10 centimeters in diameter.

Right. So the egg and is it. It's got she describes it. It's got on one face the head of a zombie. And then on the other face, it's got a snarling wolf. And then around the edges, it's got some inscription that yender probably doesn't know and would not tell you if she did know right and so the gold coin is used up when they make a knife uh well it gets i guess you could say yeah yeah yeah it gets used they need another one is

yeah they aren't especially common and because of the size they are easy to spot right well i guess we need to know if they have another one or anything else that they need there might be some other things but i don't know all right well thank you very much when danica asks what can she do i simply ask how many blacksmiths does this town have it has only the one dragomir i think i know of a way of slowing them down. You suggest destroying the blacksmith here? Yes. Or killing the blacksmith. I think both would work. Right.

The town without a blacksmith, no horses should probably be fine. It's probably a worthwhile sacrifice, really. Danica gives a dark look and says, if it is the lesser of two evils. Is there a way to... Gotta pick one.

Is there a way to capture, kidnap the blacksmith? Perhaps. In Disposium? I would... That is beyond our power. We are not a military force, nor are we particularly adept warriors. We can find Dragomir for you, but it would be up to you to capture him.

We have an established spy network, though we do not have informants in many places. Do you have... Explain the gold coin as well. This is more doable. We would be able to locate any such coins within town. If you can locate them, then that will slow them down. I understand that, yes, a town needs a blacksmith.

I know I said we did not have any contacts, but we do have, we have few contacts, informants. One such is among the Vistani outside of town. A trustworthy sorts. The Vistani see more coin than anyone else. They would be able to tell me if such a thing happened. Well, yes, those things would be useful. I will

track down these coins, and do you want to know where Dragomir is? It's probably worthwhile. We will find Dragomir. When you say it is worthwhile, it seems like almost an afterthought. Any action that we do exposes us. And I need you to understand, as much as you know that

the Blue Water Inn is one of our homes. Let us say no then. I do not want to be responsible for having a town without a blacksmith. That will be a last resort if we cannot find these gold coins. We will find the contact to find the coins. Alright. Val. Was there anything else? No, that is all. Thank you. I told Pip be a last resort if we cannot find these gold coins. We will find the contact to find the coins. Alright, well,

was there anything else? No, that is all. Thank you. I told Pip but I did not tell you. You may consider this place safe for you. I do not know if this description has been given to you. We are a group known as... Oh, that, yes. The

birds of a feather, a flock of... It was... Unhappily, Danica interrupts you back and says, the way of the feather. Yes, right. Sorry. Yes, Pip mentioned it. There was a group of birds. Were-ravens? Da. We are, most of us, ravens. This place, the Blue Water Inn, is one of our bases, if you will. The only one we let known to anyone. Were ravens.

So do you have, is it similar to how the werewolves work? Is it like you are bitten by one? Do you have a were-raven god? I would describe it as less of an affliction and more of a disease. It works similar to the regular versions of lycanthropy, but we remain more in control of ourselves. You have – so the werewolves that we've encountered, they started worshipping some sort of a deity. Do you have something similar?

We worship many deities, if there is a deity for anything. Whether or not the werewolves are speaking to an actual entity, whether they have created an entity through their belief, or whether there was always a lycanthropy deity is not for me to know. Certainly there is no god that we worship, not singular. Interesting. And is every raven around here? Is it one of your family? All ravens are friendly. Well, friendly to our kind.

They know us. We know them. So if you see a raven, it will always be a friend. If it is a were-raven, you will not know until they transform. Ah, okay. I think we probably, I guess we've encountered you before. Yes, we are. Yes, you did.

She says with a knowing sort of like, you did you have encountered a were-raven all right so you yes you were circling pips crops that's right we uh we do not specifically target his crops but if we are hungry and he has more than he needs he likes to think you do i have another question sorry um. Do the druids eat horses? Danica seems taken aback by that question. It kind of seems to have come from nowhere for her. She, actually, no. No, the exact opposite. When you say that, Danica gives you a look like she was privy to the conversation that you have had about this previously.

And you assume some spy of hers has overheard this, and she says, I would not put it past them. Vindication! Oh, that is a shame. If they have taken one of your horses, I would not be shocked to discover that it had been killed and eaten, either in a ritual or just because they enjoyed the bloodshed.

That is rather morbid. Speaking of the druids, I would be very aware of them, or try to be very aware of them. They are not without power, especially within this land, as it is given to them by Strahd through the land. We are at constant odds with the druids. They are part of Strahd's spy network, and they are in competition with our spy network. We try not to clash with them, but they seek fights with us very often.

And they are, as I said, part, but not all of Strahd's spy network. He has eyes and ears everywhere. We do not, even with this place, she says, gesturing around to the inn, we do not tell people about it lightly. This is not our only home, but we have view. This place, the Blue Water Inn, is the only safe place that we feel comfortable letting you know about. Well, thank you very much.

This comes with a very important proviso. Barovia has been like this for hundreds of years. For longer than any of us have ever been alive. The only creature that has seen the beginning of Barovia and lived to today is Strahd and perhaps

a dedicated cadre of his internal allies. No one else has seen the beginning. And of the organizations that were here at the beginning, we are the only one left. We have survived because we have picked our allies very carefully and we have only informed people of things that they absolutely need to know. This inn must remain secret.

I won't tell anybody about this. Thank you for your hospitality. Thank you for looking after the dog. Thank you for looking after Jeska. And thank you for looking after us. She nods. Verit only are lives that were in danger. She returns to the bar.

What does that mean? Honestly, I don't know you've seen taking someone's life is not the way you've seen a casing point to Pip

and I also imagine Danica looks at me when she's like we pick our allies carefully quick glance to Pip where's the dog, I say? At the back. At the back playing with the... I'm going to stand up and I'm...

Rom has returned, by the way. He's continuing to prepare food for tonight. Might go see what the dog has to say. I'm going to go at the back and then I'd like to cast Beast Bond on the dog. I would also get... I have grown very attached to this dog, so I will also say hello, play with the toy.

Can I see the dog? Yeah, of course. I have a telepathic conversation with it. Yeah, you form a telepathic connection with the dog. I hike up my pants, get down, grab the little beagle's face in my hands. Maybe it's less magical. It's more like I'm just kind of like, you know, I'm vibing with the dog. Sure, sure, sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, in the mechanics of the game, this is a spell. Yeah. But for the flavor of the game, you are just incredibly attuned. You're a hunter. Yeah, yeah. You know what animals are thinking. I get down and I'm like, maybe I, uh,

oh, what's a question to ask the dog? Maybe with, like, the dog's face in my hand and my, like, nose almost touching it, I'm like, what would you like me to ask the dog? Well, you're speaking to the dog. Of course you can. Sort of, yeah. Kind of.

Well, I guess ask it if it wants anything right now. Do you want anything, little fella? Food. He's hungry. Bray says, we just fed it. We just fed you. Food. Yeah, he's not having any of that.

Bray gets up. He goes inside and he comes out with some chicken. Thank you, Bray. Thank you. I feed the dog chicken. Oh, that's good. I asked Bray, did you three decide on a name? We have thought about it, and we want to call the dog... He looks around like he's being a little naughty.

We want to call the dog Irwin. Jeska, who seems to be in a lot better cheer right now, Jeska says, Irwin too. Jeska, who seems to be in a lot better cheer right now, Jeska says, Erwin too. Ask if the dog has a name or if it would be called Erwin too. Do you have a name?

No, name, no. The dog seems really upset at the idea. By the idea of having a name? Yeah. He doesn't want a name. I think he likes dog. You telepathically get dog. No, no, no.

There's some trauma about that okay i don't think he wants to be named okay well um i mean you'll work on that it's a dog uh do we want to uh i ask him if his owner ever had a gold coin did your owner ever have anything shiny did it ever have anything you see on many many many shiny. The dog gives you many examples of shiny things. A lot of them are coins because as a business, she dealt with a lot of money. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like a massive, like,

like memories going through your mind. You manage to telepathically, you reach out, and you stop this chaotic ride. Yeah. As you see a big, about 10 centimeters in diameter, coin. On one side, you can see that it has the visage of a zombie. Okay. And you can see a now alive Tanner.

She is standing over it with a dagger in her hands. And the dagger is bathed, basically, in blood. The sticky, hot blood slowly is drooling down the dagger is bathed, basically, in blood. The sticky, hot blood slowly is drooling down the dagger and drip, drip, drip, falling onto the coin. Is there only one coin in the memory? There's only one coin. Okay, but that means they've used up the coin. Presumably, yeah.

Okay, yeah. I can only see one coin, or the dog here only remembers one coin. That is good. Perhaps ask the faces of the people that the tan are associated with during the cult bullshit. I try to communicate to the dog that I'd like to see some of its previous, the people that hung around its owner, its owner's friends. You get a flurry of faces. Previous, the people that hung around its owner. Its owner's friends and...

You get a flurry of faces. Some of them you recognize already as like Izek is there, maybe Dragomir and Magda. A lot of other faces, mostly ones that you don't recognize. And I guess as well a dog's memory. It is a little bit chaotic. It's probably the dog without thinking about it is giving you memories

where smell is more important than sight. So you're like you've got some faces now but like none of them Nothing massively useful. No new information I suppose. I communicate that. I think that might be all the dog has to tell us.

Alright. I'm trying to think. I'm like we know who kind of took her why do we know who took her uh perhaps you um uh ask um who if he saw who took the tanner oh yeah all right um do you know who took your owner fellow there's a bit of panic to this memory all right the dog is just The dog is just vaguely aware. You get the perspective of the dog. They were just in the room, in the room that you found them when this happened. So they didn't get a look, unfortunately. But the dog remembers being woken up in the middle of the night, loud noises happening in their owner's room. And they're like really, maybe emotionally they become overwhelmed. maybe emotionally they become overwhelmed. You get the

a dog obviously does not have the capacity to feel emotion in the way that a human has. So emotionally they get overwhelmed very, a lot more easily. And so you feel what it's like to have the emotional capacity of a dog and it is being

overwhelmed. It's you understand. You get it. The dog doesn't like it. But apart from that, you get no information about what happened that night. I think it was too traumatic for the dog. Ask it what it wants, its favorite food,

those kind of things. Things that I can look after. As the sun sets, you learn how to look after this dog. Meanwhile, somewhere far to the north, the sun is similarly, as it is here, setting. As the sun sets over Lake Zarevich,

Boris slowly paces out of the forest. It looks as a congregation of people are milling about at the lake's edge. Boris watches intently, with several other diarist wolves at his back, as slowly, one by one, the shimmering field of glass that is the surface of Lake Zarevich

begins to bubble upwards, and then slowly, laboriously, two massive, dark, wet tendrils extend out of the water. And Boris can hear screaming. A person is being dragged towards the lakefront. They're fighting and struggling. They do not want to be dragged, but they have no choice. There are simply too many people forcing them forwards.

A final, smaller tendril reaches forwards to grab this person. It wraps itself around their neck, tightens, and then drags them in. The person screams, and then it stops. The mass begins to slowly sink once again beneath the water. There is no longer a person there, other than the congregation, obviously. Boris watches, no emotion playing across him, almost as if he's observing a mound of ants doing what they do.

Oh, God. As the congregation leaves, the sun has completely set by the time that the last of the congregation are gone. Boris gets up and wanders over to the lake's edge. Boris has no interest in dealing with these cultists. While they are ultimately a design of Strahd, he does not consider them in any way his equal,

but more so than the druids, he sees them as so far beneath him that there's not even... He might not even consider them. Why would he interact with them? As he approaches the lake's edge, that mass begins rising again, and the two tendrils slowly snake

their way out of the water. One final tendril reaches out for Boris as if he was another sacrifice or supplicant. Boris growls, and the tendril reaches out for Boris as if he was another sacrifice or supplicant. Boris growls and the tendril stops. The wet, watery mass does not know why, but it cannot attack at Boris. It is ultimately here on Strahd's orders. The creature does not understand this.

It does not know that it's being controlled it has no awareness beyond a desire to simply exist and then an impulse to either eat or mind control but somewhere within it it is bound shackled by strad as a punishment here for Valakai, for those who stood against him. And Boris, as a respected lieutenant of Strahd, is safe from this creature. It will not harm someone such as Boris. God damn. That fucking wolf. A second, no, a fourth, I should say, tendril, small like the third one, reaches out. tendril, small like the third one, reaches out. Boris sits where he is. And as the tendril reaches, it turns and curves, presenting part of it to Boris's mouth. Boris wraps his mouth around it and bites down. The mass is in pain, agony as a tendril is torn off it, but it does not react or

it does not recoil. It does not try to stop what is happening it cannot it doesn't want this but it can't stop it from happening boris tears off a tendril and then slinks off into the forest with it why'd you do that but why'd he do that out of what's he gonna do with a tendril man you've had your little chat with the dog. The beast bond spell has ended. Sure. I guess we'll... What time is it? It's about maybe at this point six.

Dinner is being served. You can smell the delicious smells of food wafting in from the kitchen. Brom calls you in and there's some food for you here. Cool. I guess we'll go inside and there's some food for you here. Cool. I guess we'll go inside and eat. Yeah.

I'll eat. I'll call the dog in, and they can eat by my side. A few times you hear the guards come in, and sometimes they're here to do a search, in which case Danica gets all of you to hide. But sometimes they're here, and you can tell they're just literally causing disturbances they are vaguely aware that danica maybe isn't directly hiding you but they can tell that danica knows something that she isn't letting on so they have begun giving the blue water in a hard time you hear them come in and if they're not searching for you they start

harassing the patrons and very quickly it becomes a much quieter night than last night that sucks that's sad that's sad for the blue water in yeah causing more problems for them so i i guess unless you're all doing anything midnight eventually rolls Yeah, not really. I'll be making an alchemical concoction. An alchemical mixture? Yeah. What would you like to make? I would like to combine Ectobloom, Hounding Killer Hands, and some

Ghoul Guts. What's your intention? To make five arrows that do fire damage, but they can also affect ethereal things. Arrows that do fire damage, but they can also affect, like, ethereal things. Yeah, you get five arrows of fire that will affect an ethereal being. And then I'd also like to make a juice. By which I mean a potion.

Why specify juice? Made out of devil's horn, lichen hide, and some agate, which I know is a rock. Yes. But I can crush it up. I'd allow it, yeah. To give myself magic and regular damage resistance. Okay. You can tell it's a weak potion, but it will work.

That's fine. That's fine. And then I'll just slot them into, I assume, on my body. I have little potion slots and holes. Yeah, absolutely. Bandolier. Bandolier, yeah. Slot it in.

But otherwise, that's all I'm doing. Okay. I'll, I guess, go over the spells that I know and try to avoid anything with Radiant. But yeah, that's basically it. The prayers that you know. Sorry. For you, they would be prayers. Yes, the prayers that I know.

Don't laugh. Sorry, excuse me. So it was just don't Hit Him with Radiant. And was there anything that the good book? Well, I would have probably passed it around between everybody so everybody could get a sense of what we're kind of going to come up against. And I think I've explained before, like the plan will be place ten candles around. Yes, of even numbers.

Yeah, odd numbers of both. Red and white, black and white. Red and white candles. And then we will probably need to wait in hiding, I would imagine. You also need to know who the current target is. Yeah. But we're pretty sure.

The target, I would assume, would be Melioff. Yeah. I guess when we got Yender to go and, when Yender went and informed Claudia that we'd be back later in the evening, that night, to also get a description of Melioff

or where they would be sleeping, I guess. Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Melioff has his own room. He's one of the older boys get, well the the older boys get well the older kids get their own rooms at the orphanage the younger ones

have to share yeah you're not sure why this is just how it works no that makes sense it's a privilege you get older you get a bigger bed

so yeah we'll create a sort of magic circle around the bed where the sleeper would be this Miliov and we'll light the candles around evenly spaced odd number.

And we need to do them when they're asleep? They don't know they were there? I think the child needs to be asleep, but I think they can know that we're doing this. That's probably good, really. I was just thinking, because if Kribbit can't be invisible. I think it's probably worthwhile for us to hide, certainly, around the hag, or at least be in the other room, so that when the hag

enters the bedroom, it doesn't immediately see that the jig is up and try and hightail it. So if we can kind of secrete ourselves within the room and then come out. In many ways, it's an ambush that we're pulling on this midnight hag. I don't think she'll be expecting five people

sort of exploding out of a child's bedroom with the intent of doing her harm. It is not a common thing, says a co-captain. Yes, true. And then we will have one minute as every five seconds a candle is snuffed out to eliminate the midnight hag, after which it just might be difficult to capture her again.

She just might realize what we're doing. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's pretty much it. Yeah. I'll follow your lead. Alright. It's come close to midnight. Are we heading to the orphanage now? Yep. Yender, I believe, went ahead and is meeting you, meets you out the front. You can see she and Claudia

are out the front. They usher you inside and... Exchange a glance with Claudia,ia i suppose given we have quite an intense shared history no claudia refuses to look at you that's a shame claudia makes every effort not to acknowledge that you are here that's cool maybe i'm even trying to catch her eye like she refuses yeah you make your way up the stairs and you can hear the sounds of many, well, actually, no, they wouldn't be quietly sleeping. You can hear the sounds of children not quietly sleeping and needing to be shushed and absolutely

acting up. Maybe, you know, highs or lows? Highs. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. As you hit the stairs to go up, out of one of the other side rooms, a door explodes open. And you can see, you see through the door into one of the common rooms where a bunch of kids are all bunked together.

One of the kids steps out, looks at the group and says, what the hell are you all doing here? I want to pick up the kid and just put it back in its room. Tick tock. to pick up the kid and just put it back in its room. Tick tock! And keep walking up the stairs. You're able to physically force the kid back into the room. He keeps yelling and making a commotion. You close the door.

Claudia still refuses to acknowledge Pip. But Hector, you hear her like, I didn't do the she makes like a tutting sound. She does not like that Pip did that. We're on a time limit here. Yeah, look, yeah, yeah, we, yeah, okay.

I am right now so out of my depth. I don't really know what's going on. Yep, whatever. I just love the idea of Pip fighting any other hag back in his regular life. Just being like, get out of here, kids. Kids playing for everybody. Eating those fucking swinging kids around. I'm trying to save you, you animals!

Pillow fighting them. Maybe mouthing to Claudia like, I'm sorry. Claudia looks at you and you feel like you've been told off. Oh no. Yeah, that's bad. It's just a look Claudia looks at you and you feel like you've been told off oh no that's bad

it's just a look you feel you've been taken back to as a child when you disappointed a parent it's like yeah getting wrapped over the knuckles by the brothers at the church you get up to the second story and you

are led down to one of the doors where Claudia very quietly, she turns around and maybe she doesn't. So this is the first time she's technically acknowledging you, Pip, in that she's acknowledging the entire party. She turns around and she puts just a finger to her lips to shush you. She opens the door and carefully checks to make sure that miliov is asleep when she when she confirms that miliov is asleep she pushes the door open and lets everyone in all right you all make a very important stealth check yes yeah i know i'm gonna i think oh i was about to be so cocky i was like i know i going to nail it because I'm a very quiet, stealthy boy. There's nothing better than fucking this one up.

Oh, damn. All right, you didn't roll well, but you got some natural skill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, once again... I forgot we got fucking a go-gash. And Hector, who are like eight foot tall. Hector, a go-gash is probably among the best in the party.

Classic. Yeah. Oh, no, actually, you do better. Thank God. I'm currently not wearing heavy, cumbersome armor. That's true. It's just not a disadvantage. You're sort of a big purple galoot, though. You have brought Kribbit, right? Yeah.

Hazel Lowe's. Oh, my God. Lowe's. Oh, my God. Kribbit. What did Kribbit, right? Yeah. How's the lows? Oh, my God. Lows. Oh, my God. Kribbit. What did Kribbit? As Kribbit enters, I don't need to, well, that makes my job easier. I don't need to roll for anyone else. As Kribbit enters the room, he begins playing a song. Pip just like looking at him like, oh, I'm fine.

What are you doing? And then. Put my hand. Put my hand over like all the wires on his... I put my hand over his... I'm helping. I'm helping. To be continued... Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content,

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