D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #21 Nightmares

Episode Date: February 4, 2023

The party reveals that not everyone was particularly good at hide and seek growing up. Things go from good to really bad as Hecktor deals with Penia struggling to keep it together while Pip falls apart.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated. The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strahd is our jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill Devil Strahd.

As Grubit enters the room, he begins playing a song. What are you doing? And then... Put my hand over all the wires on his... Milyov slowly... So the room is... It's just a single bedroom, single bed. It's not a particularly large bed,

but the room looks well cared for and well kept. You can see off to one side there's a wardrobe. You can see there's, like I said, the bed. At the foot of the bed, there's a little chest. There's also a desk and some drawers. And you can see a window, which would normally give you a lovely view

of Valakai and Barovia, but because it is night, you cannot see anything. It is basically just a black shard of glass up against the wall. Miliov, in his bed, rolls over, and you hear him, and then Kribbit bites your hand,

continues playing the song and as he sings he says they entered the bar to the little boy he was asleep and as he says asleep a little vibration wavers through the air. Milyov falls asleep. Asleep, he stayed asleep.

Asleep, he stayed asleep. If you're going to do that, just give us a little warning. Asleep, asleep, but he nearly waved. No, no. Just for, Crippbit says, just for the exciting story telling. But he did stay asleep. Maybe like Pip, because he knows the clock's ticking. I turn around, I like point to Hector and point to Kribbit, like keep a fucking eye on him.

And then I'm going to go start drawing the circle and arranging the candles. Yender doesn't know whether to smack Kribbit on the back of her head or laugh. You can see she's quite clearly torn. Yeah, look, ah, yes, hmm. Kip's doing that thing he does with his snout so aggressively, he's

giving himself a carpet burn. Yeah, just like, rubbing my temples, just like, okay, okay, okay. So close to commanding a child to sleep. Sleep. Dream of lovely things. Dream of these things specifically.

What are you doing? Dream of being on a toadstool and a nice juicy fly comes by. The fly lands before you and says, I have an egg for you. You eat them both, they are delicious. People, where do we need to hide? Just anywhere in the room. Just don't be within the circle of candles. Where would the hag be entering? Do we know?

Do I know? Is the hag likely to just kind of manifest in the room? Well, you're not 100% sure. You know that it's coming from the ethereal plane. It must have some connection to here, the material plane. There would be some place nearby to here has a connection to the ethereal plane there's a gateway somewhere yeah yeah yeah okay

alright alright I wouldn't know specifically really like where no it would well you could have a look around and try to find it would I think is this a fair assessment that if you're spooking a kid you'll want to come out of the like could she be coming out of the closet

or from under the bed, that kind of thing, like a monster might. There is a logic to that. Hags do enjoy tormenting people, and that classic archetype would probably be something that a hag would appreciate. Maybe I expressed that. Anywhere that you'd be scared as a child

of a monster manifesting from under the bed, in the cupboard, through the window. Agogash nods at that and he wanders over to the dresser and starts looking at mirrors. Didn't think of that. Could be. Anyway, I'm going to just keep you in the circle. Yender starts checking under the bed. Yeah, I was like, under the bed, maybe.

Oh, can I cast? Maybe I won't even cast. I'll look under the bed to see if there's a couple of bones of Andral under the bed. It would be a classic place for a kid to keep bones. It would, right? You and Yender check underneath the bed. Yender doesn't find anything, but you see that there, as you check under the bed, you can see that one of the floorboards, it's missing two nails. And you can tell that you could lift it up.

The bed would need to be moved out of the way before you could do it. Maybe gesture to Yenda, like the board. She says. She nods. And then she goes, wait a minute. Kriber, can we just talk? I will keep them asleep. You can do what you want.

Thank you. It was kind of funny to watch you creep. You didn't say anything. Anyway, that's fine. Everyone in the room at the same moment has the realization. And then just from creeping around, everyone kind of just stands up. Right. So there's a floorboard under there under the bed that um the nails have been taken i assume that is probably where the the burns are can i

just uh maybe i'll just turn on divine sense probably easiest all right it's imagine a light source an intent incredibly bright light source is peering its way through the cracks in the floorboards. Yep, so the bones are there. Oh, that's... That's something. Good. Do we need the bones gone from this room, or is that just what's drawing the hag? I think the hag...

The bones just need to be returned to the church, but I don't think they're helping nor hindering right here. I think it's kind of much of a muchness for the current situation. We cannot get them until we move the bed. I guess we don't want to make it seem that we've disturbed anything. So, right. With the divine sense, is there anywhere

if I'm seeing that same that misty evil fog, is there anywhere? It's roiling. Miliov, you think you've discovered the source. Miliov appears to be the source. Oh. Oh, wow.

Get a good boy card. You have a close look at Miliov, and you realize around his neck he's wearing a little locket on a chain, and it appears to be, it's a closed, imagine like a locket that you would open up and there'd be a picture inside. closed, imagine like a locket that you would open up and there'd be a picture inside. It looks like the malevolence is seeping its way out of the crack itself. So whatever the

handle, it's coming from out of the locket. Okay. Well, I mean, I was going to draw the circle around the bed anyway, but that should definitely capture it. That's good. You can see that the locket has a family crest. That's what the crest looks like, if you would like to describe it. So imagine a kind

of very thin shield shape, at the top of which is a kind of open circle through the shield in which seems to be... That little circle, that little hole, the thing that you see inside it, you both recognize

very clearly. You've seen it every day since you came here. Is that the outline or the shape of a certain castle? That is absolutely a depiction of Castle Ravenloft. What is Castle Ravenloft?

And this crest is it kind of looks like a winged bird chicken yeah strange flight creature yeah kind of like a crow or

it's probably actually it would look like a raven yeah there's a lot I know I know what that might mean there's a lot of complicated history to these lands

yeah yeah yeah kind of yeah so it does look like a raven yeah it looks like a raven. And it's called Castle Ravenloft. Yeah. Order of the Ravens.

What is... Ashfront. There's... Yeah, there's a lot of... Maybe for the first time you're thinking, wait a minute, Castle Ravenloft? And then the Order of the Feather? What's going on here?

The place has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. There's a lot of backstory that you are not privy to. Maybe a couple of questions for Danica. Do I have like a way of checking the time? Could I have like grabbed a pocket watch from someone? You might not have a pocket watch, but you would

probably be keeping aware of the time, and you know that it's minutes to midnight. So do we need to hide? So we think the hag is going to come from this locket? Yeah, I suppose so. We're going to manifest on top of little Millie O'Vea, and I think it's probably beneficial. I don't know how much it'll help,

but I think it's beneficial for us to hide somewhere in the room. Okay. You finished the circle? Yeah. I have, right? Circle's done. Candles in place. You and Yender, who maybe

knows a little bit about this, you've both set up the candles and you've prepped the ritual, basically. Is there hiding places? How are we? Where can we go? Because in my head, I'm like, if there's a window there I can jump out and fly

and hover for a bit. That is good for you. That is good for you. That is good for me. I can maybe cast a light when you do that. Ooh, I might. I mean, like I said, it's very dark outside, so you would be

very obvious. Glimmering eyes and incorporeal wings. It doesn't say anything about you start shedding light? No. Well, then you'd probably be fine. Everyone else will have trouble hiding. Is it a window that's straight like a window, then just like a big drop?

Or is it window, Maybe say a bit of landing or a bit of roof. If I was a you know, some sort of mischievous boy in an orphanage, maybe I could use this window to sneak out and cause some a tree out there or something.

A big branch. Or is it just this? On a school night. Maybe climb out. There's a bit of a coin toss on that one. Highs or lows? Go to my good friend's house and play Nintendo. Oh, highs or lows? Highs. Highs? You

open the window, look out the window, and you see a, I want to say 20 foot drop. Okay. Alright. Alright. Never mind. Can I just try and like secrete myself in the shadow of the big wardrobe like just kind of like in the kind of shadow that it leaves maybe as the moonlight comes in

you do a decent job of hiding yourself I'm gonna say Claudia and Yendo just step outside and are standing either side of the door a gogash a gogash is physically too large to hide himself. So, no, he's

not stupid. He's gonna be like, he just stands in the corner silently. He's so fucking funny. But no, a go gash also steps outside and he's just gonna be also ready to rush in when shit goes down. I winched my crossbow. From Kribbit, he finishes his song,

and then he, oh, actually, no, with a flourish, he finishes his song, and he says, and then it's time to disappear. And you hear the sound of a cracking egg, and Kribbit from the top down becomes invisible. Beautiful. I like the noise he made.

Is that everyone? Yeah, I think that's everyone. I think that's everyone. Yeah. Well like the noise he made. Is that everyone? Yeah, I think that's everyone. I think that's everyone. Yeah. Well, I'll go out. It would be stupid to hide under the bed in the circle. So I'll... Oh, man, I was thinking about it, though.

That would be so fucking funny. Yender could have done it. Yeah, yeah. You know what? Actually, if you want, you and Yender can swap. Well, you could take Yender's position. Yender could be under the bed. No, because then what if I kick out

the circle or kick out a candle? It's very possible. On that case, is it a ledge I can either kind of climb onto, like hold myself up? I mean, you could hold onto it. Yeah. I'll cast Radiant Soul, Adam.

The worst poker face in the world I don't know what you're talking about yeah you can hold on to it

go ahead please by all means I'll try and do it you know very close to midnight okay

alright how long does it last like okay fuck that's so funny

it's like Pip just watching you stand at the window Being like Come on man Highs or lows Get out

The clock's ticking dude Ooh highs or lows Ooh highs You know maybe Half You're 30 seconds Into your spell When

Pip You're currently The only one inside the room So you're the only one Oh no while Cribbit Is in the room But anyway Pip You hear

The sound of Air Being let out or passing through like wind slowly releasing itself from a container and that little locket slowly opens itself up and then you see it's it's like gas slowly being released into the room. It's a greenish gas. It slowly begins to form itself into a vaguely humanoid shape, hovering over Miliov. The form becomes more and more solid over time until after about another 10 seconds has passed. Just go for it. Don't say minutes. After an hour. 10 seconds has passed.

You're still playing. Don't say minutes. Don't say seconds. After an hour. After just over the course of several seconds, the form takes complete shape, and it is an old crone-like man slowly hovering down, almost like a vampire, except they look so much more desiccated,

less a Dracula, more like a Nosferatu sort of appearance. They have long, wispy white hair, which it's like they're underwater right now in the way that it slowly curls and waves around them. They begin getting closer and closer to Miliov, and you see that they're whispering something that only he can hear within his own dreams.

The creature stops and turns to look at you. Boo. Fire my arrow. Yes, all right. This is the ghost fire arrow. Right, I assumed so, yeah. Cool, cool, cool. The crossbow bolt strikes the midnight hag maybe in its neck.

Hell yeah. It flares as it strikes, and you can see that it has dealt fire damage, but the flare is kind of small, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I got no connection to God or Sundry, so. God or Sundry. So... God or Sundry. So, you know, I get it. All right, you deal 12 points of damage total.

Nice. Is that with both shots? Oh, you fired twice? Yeah, I got two attacks. Sure. Your second attack looks like it was a much better... Yeah, yeah, you deal... Boy.

In the second attack, you deal 18 points of damage. Hell yeah. And then maybe I make the call now for everyone else. Let's go to initiative. All right, Hector, you're first. I fly through the window, and I will, as my action, I will cast Channel Divinity, making my weapon sacred. And then as a bonus action action I will charge it up with

one of my smites. Let's say a searing smite. Then it is a gogash's turn. A gogash... No one hears a gogash enter. He just... So the midnight hag, in the same way that it disappears and then

reappears on the material plane, a gogash appears standing on the bed over the midnight hag. Oh, that rules. The midnight hag, when you hit it, Pip, it hissed at you. Then, Hector, you burst in and it turned with unnatural speed to you. Like I said, it moves like it's underwater. And then a go-gash catches this thing

by fucking surprise. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. I forgot a go-gash is just the absolute ghost. Just a powerhouse, you know? Yeah. A go-gash starts

hacking down into it. It just begins bleeding heavily. This green, thick, strange blood splatters Billy off. Who does not wake up. Oh, fuck. All right. Then Yender charges in, and she doesn't want to hit the boy

from memory That does radiant damage so don't do that This one on the other hand she casts a spell well she utters a prayer to Pena and three bolts of fiery energy

explode from her hand. First one's a miss. Second one's a hit. Third one's a hit. Oh, no. What, what, what, what, what, what, what? She fires five times. Three hits.

Flames wreath the Midnight Hag, and it takes 17 points of damage alright, that's good it stresses me that the Midnight Hag has not had it's turn yet Pip! alright, I will I'll hit it with a defensive shot

with my flame arrow that will unfortunately be a miss, you load and then it turns back to look at you, Pip, and you see it disappears. And then I'll just try and hit it again. Just fire another arrow.

That one hits. This is the fire ones. Unfortunately, it's another glancing blow as the Midnight Hag swipes I'm surrounded by people, so fair enough. With a claw-like hand, it swipes and you nearly hit Yender instead. Sorry. It's alright, she says.

You do nonetheless. You see that you break a nail. Yeah, hey, I'll take it. You've heard it. It's something. Yeah. And finally, it's the Hag's turn. Alright, so the Hag does three things really quickly. First off, he looks down at Miliov and whispers something that presumably only he can hear.

Miliov's eyes open up and the boy slowly gets up. As the boy gets up, you realize, because no one really checked him that closely, he has a dagger in his hand. Miliov stabs at Ogogash's Thins It's thins It's part of an orc but not part of a human Milyov stabs at Ogogash's Shins

Oh no Ogogash Cries out in pain And takes 16 points of damage Oh okay As one of his tendons is torn Okay Alright in pain and takes 16 points of damage. Oh, okay. Cool. One of his tendons is torn. Okay, okay. Alright.

Then, the midnight hag stares at you, Pip. Pip, you feel a whispering in the back of your mind. Oh, no. Pip, you fall over backwards. We'll get to you in a minute. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Then, finally, for his third trick

uh let's say yender he looks at yender and whispers something oh no something penetrates the back of yender's mind oh oh my i hate when you realize something as you do it. That's scary. Hector, you can hear Yender's heart. Yender's having a heart attack. Oh my god. Okay. I'd love to help you, buddy, but I don't know what happened to me.

Yender takes 22 points of damage Yender starts I forgot she's not strong Yender starts clutching at her chest and is staggering backwards that was

the hag's turn it's Kribbit's turn Kribbit becomes visible. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Kribbit becomes visible. And what's the most useful thing he can do right now? So I know. Okay. So I have an aura of, is it?

No, it's just protection. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I can stop people from being possessed. That's good.

Or charmed, as it were. What's happened to Yen? Yeah, I don't know. Is that what's happened to any of us? I'm scared I'm about to fall into the ethereal plane That's what I'm scared is about to happen to me Kribbit begins stringing along on his little lute And he calls out

The little boy He dropped his dagger And at that Miliov drops the dagger. He kicked it to the cute little frog. Miliov slides the dagger towards Kribbit, who rests his boot on it. That's great. And unfortunately, that is his action. And then he's going to give bardic inspiration to you.

Hector. He looks at you, Hector, and Kribbit continues playing, The beautiful knight, he killed that bastard. It's such a fucking catchy song. It's so good. You realize your swings can perfectly time with this song. Oh my lord.

So you've got Bardic Inspiration. You can add a D8 to a one ability check, attack roll, saving throw, or damage for the next 10 minutes. Excellent. But once you've used it, it's gone. Of course. Nice. Nice.

Nice. All right. Okay. That was Krippet's turn. It's Claudia's turn. Claudia steps in. Pip, you can't see her. Hector, you can see her. It's something. Claudia steps in. Pip, you can't see her. Hector, you can see her.

It's something. Claudia is drastically different. It's like a completely different person. Her eyes blazing with anger and hatred for this creature. Her hair is kind of wild and flying about her. It looks like she's being buffeted by a breeze as her dress and cape flatter behind her. She points a finger

at the midnight hag and utters a some sort of arcane, awful sounding, strange like eldritch word. As soon as it enters your mind, Hector, it leaves. And then a bolt of force strikes the Midnight Hag.

It takes 22 points of damage. Nicely done. And is slammed up against the wall. Awesome. Then one of the candles goes out. Okay. Hector, it's your turn. All right.

So Pip, what's happened to Pip? You look over at Pip. If you want, you can go and check him, but that would be your answer. I've got so much charged for an attack. Yeah. Just hit it. I'm sure I'll be fine. All right.

I make a beeline. I go- my now magical mace. I swing twice. All right. And let me know if I miss. Oh, no. It seems like you did. What kind of miss is that?

It's a critical miss. So is that a say? You'd want to re-roll on that. If I want to re-roll an attack on this, Dad. Yeah, I'd spend that now. That a critical miss. So is that, say, if I want to reroll an attack on this stat? Yeah, I'd spend that now. That'd be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

That's a hit. That's good. First attack hit, second attack hit. Quick, quick, quick. All right. So I would like to expend that Bardic Inspiration. All right. I would like to, on the first one, I would like to kick off my...

Searing Smite. Yep. Searing Smite, which does an initial 2d6 damage. Yep. Yep. There it is. So, and if they catch on fire, which they can, that's an additional... Is that a saving throw?

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. I think it is a constitution saving throw, and if they don't... They'll fail? Yep, they'll take an extra 1d6 on their turn.

They're on fire, which is great. Alright, 1d6 on their turn. I believe, I believe, I believe. And then, my second attack, I guess I will... Let's go. Wrathful Smite, which is an additional 1d6 of psychic damage. 1d6? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anything else? I think that is it. Would Sir like anything else? Would you like prize with that? Okay. That is 10 points of damage. I can't fucking imagine. No, no, no.

10, 20, 22 plus your strength. 28 points of damage. Nice. Nice. And they are on fire. They are bloodied. Oh, all right. Okay. If that was your turn, it is a Gogash's turn.

A Gogash looks at the Midnight Hag, looks at Miliov, who is still... Miliov's dropped the dagger, but is quite clearly still under the bewitchment of the Midnight Hag. One more thing, Adam. I'm so sorry. Yes. They need to make another wisdom saving. Oh, they need to make a wisdom saving throw. They will pass that one.

Okay, then never mind. They're not frightened of me. Okay. Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good. Agogash looks at the Midnight Hag, sees what you just did, looks at Miliov and looks at you, Hector, then exchanges like a meaningful glance. He drops his weapon.

The axe clatters to the floor. He grabs both of Miliov's hands, lifts him up and just brings him into a bear hug. Miliov is screaming and kicking and fighting, but he, I'm not even going to roll.

A go-gash I don't think could fail. A go-gash with the child takes several teenagers. It's not a kid anymore. You've got to learn some things, Villio. Your body's changing. He's full on puberty now. You're going to have some weird dreams of like, say, you're sitting on rock, eating an egg and a fly, and then whatever the heck. Yeah, it means you're becoming a man.

People of your own age, they're going to start being, you're going to start having, you know, thoughts. And you need to repress that. Yeah. No sexuality. No. You naughty, naughty boy. We're going to mess this kid up. This is a Catholic school.

We worship the Christian God here. Yeah. Now put on your anti-masturbatory mittens before you go to sleep. Anyway, anyway,

anyway, I'm more serious though. Miliov is kicking, screaming, trying to fight as much as he can, but Agogash has him in such a bear hug that he cannot

break free. Agogash, with Miliov, starts walking out of the room. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. And then it is Yender's turn. Yender. Oh, yeah. God, I forgot she was having a heart attack.

It's part heart attack, part fucking panic attack. Yeah. So with me being closer to now Yender, my aura of protection, has that gives immunity to charm and plus five on saving throws? I believe it just gives me just the plus five on saving throws.

Oh, okay. I don't think it necessarily gives people immunity. I thought you had immunity to charm in 10 feet. I think I might have immunity to charm. Oh, okay. Your allies, not so much. In that case, well... Oh, no, maybe I do. It's an aura of devotion. All right. Paladins have got so much stuff going on.

I don't know what's going on. It's almost annoying. Yeah, people within 10 feet of me cannot be charmed. Highs or lows? Highs. Highs? All right. So I'm going to give you some options here.

All right. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You feel your auras, both of the plus five to saves and the immunity to charm, you feel wrapped around you. You feel that loving embrace of Pena. And you can see,

it's kind of like she's reaching out with two hands for the different auras. She is struggling to maintain both of them at the same time. She was struggling before this encounter began. Then she had to start using them. And she's quite clearly being drawn in two directions. Pick which aura you want. Knowing that the Night Hag has lost their first charm victim

and might make someone else start fighting on their side. You don't know if they can do that. I just assume Pip was being charmed. I'm going to just... Yeah, I mean, I'll lose the protection aura. I'll lose the protection aura and just focus on anti-charm. Alright. So, keeping the immunity to charm,

dumping the plus five to Sam. Alright, in that case, Yender hits the ground. Oh god. Oh shit. Oh god. Yender is having a heart attack. And you can see she's foaming a bit at the mouth. That's her turn.

Oh, no. Pip. What's my deal? You're standing in the monastery. You've got the broom in your hands. You have a dull memory that you should be somewhere else. What was my instruction vis-a-vis the broom? It's nearly midnight, and you can't go to bed until the monastery is clean,

until the floors have been swept. Okay. Just in the back of your mind, there's this niggling feeling, this wiggling little mind worm, something's wrong. You shouldn't be here. Maybe I drop the broom. Uh-huh. And where in the monastery am I?

You're in the great hall, the entrance, if you will. Boom, boom, boom. There's a knocking at the door. Yeah, I'm going to go to the door and have a look through the little slot to see who's there. You look through the slot and you've got like some awareness of a repetition as well. So when you look through the slot, you also look down and you can see the dwarf looking up at you. When he speaks though, it sounds like he's at the other end of a corridor. Laddie, open up.

Yeah, that's right. That's what I got to do. I'll open up the door. He stumbles in and your vision as he stumbles towards you, your vision kind of like is stretching and coming back towards you. I think I might be sick, I say.

You throw up. Hector, Pipp in the corner of the room throws up a little bit onto himself. Pipp, the dwarf points out the door and you can see a giant white mass. It looks like

just wings and arms and claws. It doesn't look like any identifiable thing. It's not like a dragon or a griffin. It kind of like roils and moves like it's nothing solid. The dwarf calls out, Fire, kid! You've got to get to the tower, I say.

No, laddy, fire now. Okay. Yeah, Pip, I imagine, maybe takes the crossbow off the dwarf. You look down. You've always been holding the crossbow. Inada's not nodding. Winch it back. Boom.

Hector. Hector. You feel a piercing sensation in your back. Put it together, Pip. Oh, my God. Hector, you take 22 points of damage. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Reload.

What? So he's not charmed. Interesting. What has happened? Another bolt comes at you, but you're ready. This time you stand aside and it penetrates the wall where you were. I'll just like either buffet it with my wings, maybe try and line it up so you're maybe fighting the hag.

Speaking of, guess whose turn it is. Oh, no. We've done so much damage to ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They turn to you and tell me something that would terrify Hector. How to terrify Hector.

Something that would shock him to his core. Panic him, even. Something that might panic him yeah i guess the the panic would be like no no longer feeling that sort of connection to to to faith or be like i would say it failing at a a certain opportune time if you were like say high up for example and and falling i think that would be yeah just terrifying failing i think, would just terrify him. Not being able to help. Being, I guess, yeah, almost like depowered. That kind of like impotent rage. Yeah.

Or not so much rage, but just that kind of powerlessness, that helplessness. Being devoid of hope. The hag looks at you and you are aware that you are the only person that can hear what he is about to say, but he whispers, The gods abandon those who fail. You need to make a saving throw. Oh, no. Then who's left? Kribbit.

Gorgash. Gorgash. Claudio. Okay. Your heart. G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g. You start having a panic attack. Such a heart attack. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay. Your heart. You start having a panic attack. Such a heart attack.

Oh, no. Oh, no. You take a further 24 points of damage. All righty. Then he disappears. You can't see him. Oh, God damn it. Is he on fire?

Oh, fuck. I forgot he took that damage. He unfortunately is still invisible, though. Or you can't see him because he's not on the material realm then it is Kribbit's turn Kribbit looks around Kribbit buddy Kribbit fella come on

oh I know what he can do oh that'd be cool you lock eyes with Kribbit Hector and you see that he looks from you to Pip to Yender And he's like trying to figure out what he's gonna do And then, Pip, you hear The brave hunter, he remembered his friends

He remembered his friends and where he was Don't shoot your friends, you silly boy. You are the hero of this adventure. Remember you are. And then, this last word, the vision around you shatters. Protagonist. You're back. You're standing in the room again.

Oh, God. Who did I shoot? Oh, sorry. It is I shoot? Oh, sorry. It is okay. That was Krivit's turn. It is Claudia's turn. Claudia does a little gesture with her hand and

a whip made out of fire bursts to life. She holds it in her hand and you can see that she's preparing herself for when she can see the hag again. Hector, it's your turn. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So having a panic attack and a bit of a heart attack, what do I do? Oh, that'll be at the end of your turn. So at the end of your turn, you've got to make another saving throw. If you fail the saving throw, you're going to take another, well, you'll take half damage regardless. Well, I'm currently currently on 14 hit points. Oh, that's bad. You want to do whatever you can to stop

you from dying right now. Okay, so I'm going to just maybe just hold myself, calm myself down, and just maybe clutch my maybe an arrow wound, a bolt wound, and lay on hands myself.

You charge yourself with however many hit points? All. Okey-dokey. Well, you feel Pena kind of shrink behind you, but you can sense there's urgency in Pena. You can see that she's giving you as much energy as she physically can. It feels like when you get the healing energy within you, it feels like she's physically shrinking

from the effort. I'm so sorry. Spiritually, you feel her shaking her head like, it's fine. It's fine. Just do what you gotta do. Then, who's fucked up? I mean, who is it? Yeah, I mean, who isn't it?

Who is fucked up? Yeah, I mean, come on. Oh, I'm so sorry. A second candle goes out. Oh, yeah. Oh, good stuff. Good stuff. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Okay. Okay. And then Yender looks like they're... What is... They're frothing at the mouth. Okay. Um, um, um, um, and then Yender looks like they're, what is? They're frothing at the mouth. No. Yender's probably convulsing. Okay.

A shield of faith probably wouldn't do anything good there. Um. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. Would sanctuary help in this situation? Probably not. I'm going to shield of faith myself.

Okay. Okay. They have not abandoned. They have not abandoned. They have not abandoned. Then it is... Oh, right. Fuck, I forgot. Uh-oh. They have not abandoned.

Uh-oh. Hector, you take 22, 31 points of damage. Okay. Glad I healed. Yeah, that would have been you, Kaputsis.

Oh, yeah, I forgot you healed. I thought that was going to be you down. What are you on? 18. Okay. That rules. All right, so that's not

going away, by the way. That's your problem next turn as well. Anything else? That's it, so I can move. All right. So I can move. All right. Until I can move. Fuck.

A Gurgash could still hit her. He's got the kid. He's not in the room. He's got the kid. He's got the kid. And he doesn't even know how desperate this is. So a Gurgash just spends his turn outside. Cool.

Trying to make sure that Miliov is okay. It's Yendra's turn. That's always bad. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. Yender sits bolt upright. She is on one hit point,

but that unfortunately is her turn. Jesus. That's okay. Cool beans. All right. Pip. I got a question. Yes.

Okay. Please, yes. Sean, when I fire a bolt that I have infused alchemically uh-huh if there are two bolts there's a bolt in hector's back i'm out of bolts if i pull that bolt out and load it into my crossbow will it still work i would not all right. So normally it would be discharged. But in this one scenario, I am going to allow a coin flip to determine if it has been discharged completely. Okay.

All right. Because I think I know what you're planning on doing. And I want to give you a chance to do it because I think it sounds fucking cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It turns out I don't have a coin because I'm a poor podcaster. And instead, odds or evens? Let's go odds. Odds?

Yeah. Did I mean evens? I don't know. Yeah, odds. Odds? Yeah. All right. You grab the bolt,

drag it out of Hector's back. Hector, I'm going to say, in penance for this, Hector, you take an extra two points of damage. I just want, not saying anything, just look at Pip. I'm out of bolts. Sorry.

Now, do I think it would be quicker to load it into my crossbow and fire or stab it with it? Fuck. I would say dragging it out is, I'm going to call that, oh oh no that's only an interaction yeah you're fine i mean it's it's neither here nor there okay uh i'm probably better off shooting it to be honest i'll load it in my crossbow fire it make it a precise shot so i've got advantage

so you can't see the hag where are you firing now this. You made it ghost touch, right? Yeah. So if you shoot where the hag is on the ethereal plane, because the planes overlap, if you shoot where the hag is, you will still hit the hag. Okay, so how big's the circle? How big's the circle? It's 10 feet diameter.

Okay, that's pretty big. Yeah. Last thing it did was... Were you conscious? I was not here for the last thing it did. I was out. Okay. Is it insane to just fire it at random?

It kind of is. Like, I don't know where. It is kind of insane, but it is kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was there anything in terms of, like like with Emmanuel the monster that you know that like once they go in theory if there's any kind of a trace on the reality? No, unfortunately not.

It leaves no mark. Okay. Well, where... Okay, it just comes out of the bracelet around it. Not the bracelet, the necklace. That's just the gateway. Okay, okay, hang on. Would my divine sense

be able to see where it might be? Um... Because it doesn't specify, I would say yes. So if I can sense where it might be... I would say you sense, you wouldn't, it's still kind of gone, I think it would have, like, a count as having

concealment from you, but you would know the square yeah essentially if i'm if you're pimp if you're kind of like wavering i know that we can't i might be able to tell you that like it is say you know um above say the pillow or next to the you know a certain sure yeah yeah absolutely So I could relay that information to you. Let's say above the pillow. Yeah. If you look, it is above the pillow. Dwang!

Odds are evens. Let's call it odds. Odds? For real, mate? For real? You hit. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

You want to know the most fucked up part? Yeah. It appears back in the material realm. It hits the floor. And I had like 10 hit points left. Good job. Thanks. Yender.

Does my heart attack still go off? Oh, fuck. No, that spell would end. No, you're fine. Oh, fuck. No, that spell would end. No, you're fine. Oh, fuck. I go to Yenda and I... Yenda pushes you away. No, it's all right.

It's all right. It's all right. She stands up. She quite clearly needs... I need air. I need air. She leaves. She walks.

As she's walking to go outside, she casts Healing Spells upon herself. The bones. The bones. Pee-poo-dee-bones. Get the bones. Get the bones. You take care ofoo the bones, get the bones. You take care of all that out there.

You hear Miliov, well, you don't hear Miliov screaming anymore. You hear him stop screaming. And Agogash stands in the hallway with Miliov still in his hands. When Agogash reappears, Claudia gestures as if that person disappeared. She becomes the Claudia that you remember from before. She picks up Miliov and crying, sobbing, holds him tight and then collapses to the floor. Give me the necklace. Give me the necklace. Give me the necklace.

She snatches the necklace and gives it to you. Okay. All right. All right. I just, I just wanted the necklace off the boy. I like drag the bed. All right. I'll also blow out the boy. I like drag the bed. All right.

I also blow out the candles so I don't actually set this off in a jump fire. You hear the furious scribbling of Kribbit writing this down. I'll lift up the floorboard and grab the bones. This was so exciting! Thanks for helping me out of whatever was happening to me in there, Kribbit. This one has heard story of how to destroy locket, Kribbit says. Right. How do you destroy the locket?

This one can do. It can locket. Does it open? Yeah, it opens. It's currently closed. Would I think opening it would be a bad idea? Great question. Do we want to destroy it now?

You don't know enough to know. Do you voice this? I would probably voice it. I don't know what this locket is. There's something inside the locket. Do we need to destroy it now? Maybe because I also will harvest this hag. I like to imagine I grab the hag's head and I'm like, well, I'm dead.

If I was in the locket I'm not anymore and I'll let it rest on the Krivit probably nods and says this one this is portal to ethereal but there is no it is this one is probably safe

now okay this one could keep but anything can come through portal. Still worth destroying it, yes. Crushing your foot or whatever. I just want to see if there's anything. Ah, that one knows retro. All right. So nothing can come out of this now, right now?

Well, not right now, but it is still a portal to the ethereal plane. It's like open door. Okay, right. Well, then I'll just open, I'll open and lock it then. Within you see two pictures. It's a, they're probably literally, you would not know what a photograph is. It would probably

just look like a really incredibly well done painting, but it is a photograph. It's of an old looking man and an old looking woman one in each of the little halves they have kind of i would say handsome features they both look pretty or attractive people and you can see that they're quite clearly well to do like they're dressed quite well the manner you can tell that they're dressed well, but the dress that they have is very foreign to you. You don't recognize these clothes.

The pictures that I saw that Van Richten had drawn of, say, Strahd. From that, do you think that they're related to Strahd? Well, no. Is it Strahd, basically? No, it's not Strahd. Definitely not. Although it does bear a resemblance to Strahd. It's not him, but it looks like it could be someone related to him.

Does it bear a resemblance to the hag? It's hard to tell. The hag, it's like such like... I was just worried that like the hag was like a man of... And then I was like, that's pretty rude of Pip to... No, you don't think that it's... Can I take out the pictures? Yeah, they're removable.

Are there anything on the back? No, there wouldn't be. No, nothing written on the back. I'll take out the pictures. I'll have a look over the locket. Is there anything inscribed on the back or anything like that? No. And basically dangling in front of Ribbit to be like,

did you need to, can you do a copy of this? What's that one mean by a copy? I point to his book that he's writing. He sketches a lot. Oh, yeah. He turns around. He's already made. Good.

Drop it. It looks as good as the photos you just pulled out. Right. Maybe I just hand-cribbled the photos as well. These are inside it if you like. Should probably kill, crush all. Yes. He makes a copy? And then he does the ritual.

He stamps his boot heel into the locket and kind of gives it a little bit of like a... Do you want to do the ritual? I want you to do this. The ritual is done. So you're harvesting the hag? Well, I like to imagine I've dragged the bed so that you can maybe gain access to the bones, and then I'm going to harvest the guts of this hag. Cool. I rip

up the floorboards. You don't need to rip them up. You can if you want. No. You take the floorboard, the one loose floorboard out, and underneath you can see a little sack. Within the sack are a set of bones,

bleach white bones. It looks like a full corpse. That is the bones of St. Andrew. Man, that would have been hefty for the kids. It's quite small. St. Andrew might have been a halfling. Little guy. All right.

Or a child. It was probably a halfling. Child pope sort of situation. Actually, no. I think the bones of a halfling would definitely look different. Yeah, it's definitely a halfling's bones. I will scoop up the bones of St. Andrew. Alright.

Add them to your inventory. Thank you. Do I feel holier, Adam? Do I feel protected? You don't feel protected, but you can sense the divine from the bones. So do I know enough about relics? Great question. Do I know enough about relics to, because I know I mentioned previously that maybe this might help us with our certain father Limmick problem.

Do I know what the power of relics, do I know what they do in terms of devil and demons and all of that? When these bones were in the Church of St. Andrew, they protected the church. You are aware of that much, but they're quite clearly, like the worship of Father Limmick did not start in the last little while. So you don't think it's powerful enough to protect the entire town. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Cool. Cool. Right. I need to head to the church. Um, are you,

I'm fine here. Right. I, oh, Claudia. Yeah. Dealing with you. Um,

and I'm like, well, okay. I have all our options. We've got like Yender who might want to come to me with the church then we have a Gogash and then we have Kribbit yeah

you take Yender to the church leave me with the annoying guy brigade yeah you're too busy right the annoying guy brigade says the fucking cheer captain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The end leader. I just feel really bad leaving Claudia with someone she clearly dislikes. Claudia seems kind of dead to the world right now. Yeah, that's something. She's talking to Milyov. You can hear her kind of like checking to make sure that he's okay. I grab the bones. I head out.

Is Yender there? Yender there? Or is Yender gone? Yender's stepping out on the Yender is standing out on the front porch You can see she's pacing back and forth rapidly She's got a pipe in her hand That she's smoking like with a reckless abandon Like a

Are you okay? Are you going to be okay? She takes a deep breath And she says Yeah Look No The answer is no you going to be okay? She takes a deep breath and she says, Yeah, look, no. The answer is no, but I'll be okay, she says. Did you get the bones?

Yes. What did he whisper to you? She stops, puts the pipe out, maybe starts removing the tobacco from it. And as she does it... Maybe ask for a bit. Hell yeah, pipe it up. Sure.

She realizes it and passes it to you. Halfling families or the halfling culture in general doesn't pay much attention to the gods. Yes, it was. It was a bit of an uproar when I joined the clergy. It was a bit of an uproar when I joined the clergy, and I think I made the wrong— I love Pena, but I love my family, and I think I made the wrong choice, she says. It is not impossible to love both. Are you going to be okay here, or would you like to come with me to St. Andrews?

No, the bones need protecting. If tonight proves anything, the bones need protecting. Let's head to the church. She nods. You can see that she's quite obviously burying something deep down and you can tell that that is not healthy. You can see she does not have time to speak to someone about it. I maybe put a hand on her shoulder.

And when I joined, when I was given to the church, I had to leave my family behind as well. I understand the halfling community is very different to the human community. If you need anybody to talk to, I am

here if you need. Yender nods slowly. She can see that she's thinking about it, but she says nothing. You make a beeline for the Church of St. Andrew. Meanwhile. Maybe, again, call that to a go-gash or cribbit. Probably a go-gash because I'm like. You pass both of them so you can tell them anything.

To see if they want to either come with or if, say, cribbit is like, ooh, small story. I don't know. Cribbit. Yeah, cribbit comes with. Cribbit. Cribbit. Cribbit's brother say Kribbit is like, ooh, small story. Kribbit, yeah, Kribbit comes with. Kribbit. Kribbit's brother. Kribbit the amazing chooses to join you, Hector, because he quite obviously sees

that is where the story is going. And so he probably during that interaction with Yender, Yender has to turn around and say to Kribbit, who is furiously scribbling, don't write that say to Kribbit who is furiously scribbling don't write that down Kribbit absolutely wrote it down here we are

alright, Agogash is just kind of quietly, he can tell the two scenarios he could join in is Claudia crying and holding onto Miliov or you butchering a hag and so he decides to step over to

where you are Pip and he does that classic kind of grabs his trousers pulls them up a little bit bends down a little bit and he just watches you and pointedly tries to give privacy to the people who are right fucking there

after I've done butchering the hag, I would like to go over and talk to Claudia. But let's butcher the hag first. Well, obviously, you acquire two hag eyes. Oh, that's good. Hag eyes are great. I was so... It happens quite often for some reason

where I'm in a fight and I'm like, oh, I need this. And then the thing I need is in the monster. And you acquire a pinch of shadow okay and unfortunately you don't get a lot out of this you do find a sapphire but that's nice i'd like to store away all of the guts that i just took and then like kind of gingerly walk over to claudia be like um can I get you a cup of tea or something Claudia fuck man

Claudia's in a fucking Claudia is in such a vulnerable state right now how is she gonna respond to this she's got so many fucking feelings tied up in you man dude I did just save the orphanage you know it's got to count for something alright alright alright get yourself a good boy card

Yes! Claudia calms herself down for a moment And she looks at you And with genuine appreciation for you being here right now She says, yes, I would love a cup of tea, thank you It's all good I'll go down to find the orphanage kitchen. All right.

You've been here before. You maybe know where the kitchen is. While you're rummaging around downstairs, you can hear that there are a couple of teachers that assist Claudia. And you can hear that they are getting the kids to bed. But you can tell now, thank Christ, that they are beginning to settle down and you can see that that problem is resolving itself yeah thankfully good one of the teachers who you probably remember they weren't part of the they weren't part of your posse last year but you have met them several times just because you've been here several times it's probably how you find the

yeah yeah enters uh felix is his name and when comes in, he says, has it been taken care of? Yeah. No, yeah. It's done. Felix, he sits down at the table and he puts his head in his hands in obviously relief. And he says, I have been. Felix is a dusk elf. And he says, I have been in Barovia for so long, it is hard to think that something happy could happen.

Yeah, well, yeah, enjoy it. Could you point me in the direction of the tea and the kettle? He gestures and shows you where you can get things. Would you like a cup of tea? Felix stands up, and you can see he's putting an ear to how the kids are. And they're quite quiet at this point. So he turns and he says, I would love a cup of tea. Thank you. Is it like a drawing room for everyone to sit in?

Yeah, absolutely. Head into the drawing room. I'll bring them in. Thank you, he says. How's the kitchen? Actually, he says thank you. And then it was kind of like a flippant way to say thank you. But then he stops.

He turns. He looks at you. And with a lot more meaning flippant way to say thank you. But then he stops. He turns. He looks at you. And with a lot more meaning this time, he says, thank you. Think nothing of it. He turns and he goes into the drawing room. Is the kitchen clean? Yeah, spotless. Okay, okay, okay.

This place is incredibly well maintained. If it was a mess, I was going to get cleaning, but that's okay. That would have been funny. Maybe, all all right it's incredibly spotless but you notice as from your origins you are capable you've got that that an eye for it you find the one spot in a spotless kitchen i maybe chuck on like an apron sure yeah get like a some kind of sponge and just scrub that spot while the kettle boils and then once the kettle's boiled i'll put it on like on like if there's like a silver tray.

Sure. Well, while that's happening, maybe while you're scrubbing, you hear the door to the kitchen open and you see Claudia step in. She's kind of wiping tears from her, cleaning up her face. And she sees you scrubbing and she says, with a bit of humor, she says, ah, in another life, perhaps. I turn around like kind of almost startled. There was a spot.

I stand up with like dust off the apron. Tea's ready. Felix is in the drawing room. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Yes. Thank you.

That's so fine. I'll meet you in there. She looks around the empty kitchen and you can see she wants to say something but she doesn't she leaves I'll bring the tea into the drawing room I assume a gogash will be in there a gogash is already sitting at the table with Felix I place the tea down I imagine I've got the tea

all completely level and every single tea bag is leaning in the right direction there's a pitcher of milk as well and maybe I've managed to scrounge up a little bit of honey too exactly the right direction. Yes, of course. There's a pitcher of milk as well. And maybe I've managed to scrounge up like a little bit of honey too with exactly the right spoon, which I imagine I had to search for.

Or maybe it's like not the right spoon. It's like the one adjacent to it. Is it still the rosy and honey? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's bad. You, as you're pouring the tea. Love our tea, matey. You make the tea for everyone. The point is you don't drink the honey.

The honey is just there for looks. Everyone's quietly having a cup of tea. Gagash, after he takes his sip, he's stopped for a second. Like the world has come to a crashing halt for him. He looks at you, Pip, and he says, that's a lovely cup of tea. And he doesn't add anything else. Oh, my. I don't push my luck.

Yeah. And then I would just sit there. Pip's probably not going to say anything. No one else speaks. But if maybe Pip will offer to like, if there's anything that needs to be done, like if Claudia needs to go to, you know, if after this you just like to go to bed, I can take care of whatever else needs to be cleaned up. I don't think I should be able to sleep tonight, she says. Thank you. Rest might be useful one way or the other.

At a certain point, the other teacher steps in and you, they sit down. You're having tea. Meanwhile, Hector. Yes. You're making your way To the church And on your way You can It's

Quiet Valkavian streets Highs or lows Oh no Random Valkyrie encounter Lows Yep Oh that's bad

That's a bad Out of motion Drops his mouth It's awful. To be continued... need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favorite podcast app of choice and join us on

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