D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #22 Sanctuary

Episode Date: February 11, 2023

The gods of healing no longer shine on Barovia. Hecktor gets ambushed by an unexpected foe while Pip almost gets interrupted trying to dispose of a body.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, you are nonetheless marooned, stranded in a nightmare your people call Barovia. While I am able to travel easily between the plains, you cannot, and as such, you find Baron von Strahd your jailer. There is no escape unless I, a Gogash the Mighty, can defeat him.

Valakai is a city. It's one of the most urban places you've encountered. Krezic was like a lot of trees with houses mingled in among them and then a wall around it. It was kind of more like a walled part of the forest to be anything else. But that is not to say that Valakai does not have shrubbery, bushes, and vegetation. Just a quick question. Because at the moment, I can know my deity right now. She's going through things.

She's going through things. That's a great way of phrasing it. Now, I know, sorry, I can't really, I'm in very little health. She's going through things. She's going through things. That's a great way of phrasing it. Now, I know, so I can't really, I'm very little health. Healing hands, is that, that's like, that's an ASMR thing, isn't it? Isn't it? I believe so, yes. No, it's not much. I'm just going to just, a little bit, seven health for me.

Hey, take it. Take what you can get. All right. You give yourself an extra seven hit points. No worries. Cool, thank you. As you were, Adam. So the little

clutch of buildings where the orphanage is, it's separated from the majority of the town by kind of like a green belt, you might call it. You are in said green belt when you hear some rustling. You're on the main road but it is kind of very bushy around where you are.

You turn to look, and you can see stepping out of the bushes is a wolf, a particularly large wolf. Yender, run. Yender, we need to run. The wolf has ridged spines, hardened patches upon their body. You can see it is not Boris because you don't see any wounds or anything like that. But you can see the trailing in their snout. They are holding on to something. It's like a black roiling mass.

You can see that it's wet, like it's dragging a black roiling mass you can see that it's wet like it's dragging slime or water something behind it actually you tell what it is because you smell sea salt you can tell like ocean water as soon as it becomes visible the wolf

after you have laid your eyes upon it it growls softly and you can see stepping out just from the shadows, people. Oh, no. Okay. Oh, no. All of them have glossy, dead-eyed stares. We need to run.

Yendo, we need to run. Oh, she's half way. Okay. Sorry. Cribbit, come on. What can Cribbit do? Okay. Let's go to initiative. Oh, she's half-linged. Okay. So, Cribbit, come on. What can Cribbit do? Um, okay. Let's go to initiative.

Oh, shit. Okay. Well, I guess if you kill the wolf, hmm, what's happening here? I'm just genuinely so in the dark. Now, does Hector remember, Pips? Do you remember the rhyme? Well, look, it's a diarist wolf. They don't like fire.

That's about as much as I remember. Wolf by howl or by snarl, terrible, terrible fright. If I hear and there they is, then a regular I do sight. I think I've come across enough di enough dire wolves in this part of town to know what I'm dealing with. Oh, dear. Fuck. The people go first. Fuck. They charge

the group. There's nine of them in total. Three for each of you. Three of them, they're just wielding whatever implement they had at hand. One of them's holding a chair. It's a good weapon. Yeah, a chair's the best weapon in the game. They start a swinging.

Hector, what's your armor class again? Not good. Oh, no. You don't have it. You get hit three fucking times, my dude. Oh, shit. Okay, okay, okay. Time to cash in some good boy cards. All right.

Okay, okay. What are we doing here? What are we looking at? You take four, five, six, seven points of damage. All right. That's not so bad. Glad I healed. Oh, yeah.

Hey, there it is. That's that heal. Booned through. Yender gets hit only once. Okay, that's something. Oh, no. Yender is fending off two other people when the guy with the chair comes up behind her and smacks her in the back of the head.

See, it's a good weapon. Fuck. She falls forwards. Fuck it out. Critical hit. Yender. Critical hit with a chair. Yender.

Are you ready to rumble? Yender goes down, and then it is two hits on Kribbit. What do you mean by down? Kribbit takes three points of damage. You and the two weakest party members. And then it is your turn, Hector. So Yender is now unconscious. Yes.

Does Kribbit have healing spells? Do I know this? Do I know anything about what Cribbit can do? You have no idea. Oh, he's a little box of tricks. Yeah, he is a little box of tricks. You could ask him. I mean, why would you do that, though?

Hey, man, what can you do and stuff? What can I currently do? I've got a good boy card. If Adam will let me use it, I can stabilize Yanda. It's okay. I'd allow it. It's okay. We don't necessarily stabilize her. Because I can stabilize Yanda. It's okay. I'd allow it. It's okay. We don't necessarily stabilize her because I can maybe cure her.

Okay. But then it's kind of just like hefting them up and running. So they're surrounding us. Actually, you know what? Uh-huh. You feel Penia wrapped around your arms. She gives you a burst of energy. What ability do you use to fly again?

Oh, Radiant Soul. Radiant Soul. How often do you get that? Once per long rest. It's recharged. Oh! Okay, okay, okay, okay. I can fly.

Get out of there. Okay, okay. Can I? How can? How heavy is Cribbit and Yender? Cribbit's got to be light as hell. Cribbit's light as shit. Cribbit can easily.

Cribbit, easy. He's been like. What is Yender? Cribbit climbs on your head, dude. Cribbit climbs light as shit. Kribbit can easily... Kribbit, easy. He's been like... What is Yender? Kribbit climbs on your head, dude. Kribbit climbs on your head, you scoop Yender off of your arms. You could carry both of them with flight. Absolutely. Nah.

Is it an action to do that? Because otherwise you're going to take attacks of all. It's an action to do it. So I'm going to cast Radiant Soul. I'm going to say, Kribbit, climb on. Kribbit, climb on my head. I'm going to say, Gribbit, climb on. Gribbit, climb on my head. I'm going to pick up Yenda,

and then I am going to fly straight up. All right. You Superman-esque, take like a little bit of a crouch down, and then you explosively leap up into the air, your angelic wings unfurling behind you to give you a massive burst upwards. As you do that, you look upwards and you see a net springs into place above you. These fucking wolves.

With a snarl that sounds more like a laugh, you look into a tree and you see Boris. Fuck! Wouldn't happen. Yeah, I know. You flash back to the tower. Yeah, I know. You flash back to the tower where Boris was not going to let you do that one again. Yeah, fuck. You get caught.

All three of you get caught in the net. Adam, you cave in. You take it away. The net snaps tight around you. The three of you are trapped in a net. Oh, my God. Okay. All right.

Hector, that was your turn. Good. Good stuff. It's Kribbit's turn. Kribbit, save the day. Kribbit. Do something good. Kribbit, come on now, buddy.

I need to fucking play. The wounds, they close themselves. That one will come back from the dead. Yender heals 16 hit points. That's good. That's great. And then Kribbit is going to give bardic

inspiration to Hector. He looks at you and he says, The strong knight, he breaks the net. We fly away, we fly away. All right. It is satirist wolves' turn. On two trees, either side of you,

you can see where the ropes for the net attach and then winch downwards. Several wolves begin grabbing onto those ropes and then just dangling themselves. You hear a and then you and the net are slowly lowered down. Lowered down! You are slowly lowered down

into the waiting throng of civilians below. Alright, good stuff. That was the direst wolves turn. below. Okay. All right. Good stuff. That was the direst wolf's turn. It is Yender's turn. Oh, fuck this. Bloody hell.

Fuck this shit, Yender says. How strong are these ropes? How strong could it that be? What's the net made of? That's what I want to know. Yeah. It'll just be rope. Rope's weak.

Rope can't hurt you's weak rope can't hurt you rope can't hurt you um oh no I know what she's gonna do she points a finger at one of the trees and

shouts fireball a bowl of fire explodes out of her hand strikes that tree where the diarist wolves are the three of them

need to make checks two pass one fails she strikes that tree where the direst wolves are. The three of them need to make checks. Two pass, one fails. She deals 8d6 damage. Well halved, two of them. Yeah, yeah. It's good, though. Okay, okay, okay.

Adam, tell me it's good, though. That's the pissiest fireball I ever did see She deals a bit of damage But it has the desired effect One of the direwolves straight up lets go And hits the ground The other two direwolves manage to keep a hold of the rope But said rope

Flares And then snaps That's good Well, is it? The net begins swinging as it loses connection to one. As the net begins swinging,

it slowly starts twisting and unfurling. Like a sock, you begin sliding down towards the end. You swing past the throbbing mass of people and they take swings at you. What a crazy way to get attacks evolved.

What a crazy way to get this. Hector, a chair hits you. Hector, you take two points of damage, but that's the only hit they get. Okay, that's good. That's good. That chair knocked you into flat, so thank god. You start swinging back and forth As you do that the people start taking swings at you

They're trying to You're kind of swinging like a pendulum And the people are chasing you back and forth With those glassy expressions Trying to hit you You get hit once Hector You take one point of damage Yender gets hit once as well

And takes four points of damage. She's still fine though. She's fine. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Okay. And then Kribbit gets critical hit. He's the heart and soul of this adventure. He's the heart and soul.

He's the heart to trot of this adventure, Adam. And, okay. Okay. He's the hot detroit of this adventure, Adam. And okay. Did we say? Is it going to be the chair guy again? Kribbit only takes four points of damage.

Okay. But then he is knocked prone and he falls down into the thronging mass. Reaction to grab. Reaction to grab. Reaction to grab. Come on. All right. I'll allow that. I'm so sorry. Kribbit falls down into the mass of people.

Oh, they lay into him. Oh, no. Not Kribbit. He's our guy. Kribbit only takes seven points of damage, but he's completely surrounded by a lot. Shit. You might be able to grab him as you swing past. You are sliding down into this thronging mass. That is fine. Then it is completely surrounded by a lot. Shit. You might be able to grab him as you swing past. You are sliding down

into this flying mass. That's fine. Then it is, Hector, your turn. Okay. I tell Yender to crap on. I am going to... Yender, hold you tight. Yep. If I can... I can swoop out of the netting. Well, you could actually just... You don't have to fly down.

You could just fly in any direction. Because of the way the net's unfurled. Yeah, I know. I want to grab Kribbit. Oh, yeah, fair. You'll take a tax evap. That's fine. I want to swoop down. I want to grab our little frog man, and I want to fly out of it.

Oh, you are so lucky. You do not receive a single hit on your way out. You grab Kribbit. You fly away, and as you fly away, you hear a howling noise behind you. I want to make a beeline. You really need to know, Pip. Beeline is St. Andrews. Church or orphanage? Church.

We gotta drop off these bones. It'll be fine. Back at the orphanage, you you're having a lovely quiet tea time. Very gentle. Nothing too strenuous is happening for us. In the distance, it sounds almost like you hear a net snapping, but no one pays too much attention to that.

You hear the howling of wolves, but that must be the worst. Oh, actually, you might hear the howling of wolves. I guess they didn't get that far away. Pip, you would hear a wolf howl in the distance. I mean, you wouldn't be able to place it as being in the city, but you do hear a wolf howl in the distance I mean you wouldn't be able to place it as being in the city but you do hear a wolf howl

is that like so abnormal though in Borobio inside Valakai yes okay inside Valakai you wouldn't expect

to hear a wolf howl I asked the table did anybody else just hear a it sounded like a wolf everyone is there like a window out to outside

yeah let me go go like pull the curtain aside have a look uh oh else just hear a, it sounded like a wolf. Is there like a window out to outside? Yeah. I mean, go like, pull the curtain aside, have a look. Uh-oh. It's, no, it's Brovia, I forgot. It's an overcast night. You've briefly imagined you could see a small figure against

the moon, but it must be a figure of your imagination. Yeah, absolutely. Couldn't have been, couldn't have been. Okay. So eventually, after maybe an hour of quiet tea time, a go-gash stands up from his table and everyone else

kind of in unison or everyone else takes that as a sign that the night has kind of concluded. A go-gash, a go-gash looks like he's about to say something,

but then just kind of nods, gives like an appreciative nod to everyone at the table. And then he walks outside and Claudia gives you one final look, Pip. And then she retires to her bedroom as do the other staff. All right. Well, I guess I'll leave with the go gash. What did you do with the hag corpse?

Maybe I get the hag corpse slung over my shoulder. Maybe you've dragged it out the front. Yeah. And then you and a go gash pick it up and. The head corpse slung over my shoulder. Maybe you've dragged it out the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you and a go-gash pick it up and... Throw it in a river, I suppose? Would it not poison a water supply it was thrown into? I genuinely don't know a go-gash.

It's really barely part of the monster hunting job, the disposal of the body. It just doesn't come up. There was... I did M, N did M. Move on. There was some shrubbery and bushes and whatnot. Not too... Just dumping the heck in the bush.

We could... Perhaps I have a shovel and spade. Perhaps we could dig... I think it's probably better to burn the body, really. Okay. Perhaps out the back of the the orphanage

no no no not no no no at the blue water inn yes yes that's probably clever I'm sorry I have trouble

remembering the names of these places they're inferior he's doing a short hair he's not even trying anymore it's been a long night

he hasn't got time to give you exact reasons as to why you fuck up your names around these places but he just needs you to know yeah

I suppose yeah Blue Water Inn is probably the best place to then it's probably not going to attract attention yeah alright we'll burn the hag there and perhaps even

maybe he's kind of he's picking up the corpse maybe you've wrapped it in a shroud yeah that's still pretty obvious yeah yeah yeah but it's Valakai okay He's kind of, he's picking up the corpse. Maybe you've wrapped it in a shroud. Yeah. That's still pretty obvious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's Valakai. Okay, well. How many people do you see walking down the streets with a fucking, somebody, a body wrapped in a shroud? I feel like that's still a notable thing, but all right. You make your way towards the blue water end. Yeah. Yes, it's Valakai, but currently you're wanted for killing some people. That's a good point.

I don't know what else we can do. How are we going to hide the body? Oh, it's already chopped up quite a bit. That's true. Can we have parceled it into smaller sections? Disgusting, but yes. Yeah, alright. I've already dug through the corpse. Heysel, Lose, did you say? I'll say Lose.

Lose? All right. You make your way. At one point, as you're walking down a path, both of you look over and you can see a net dangling from a tree. Just look at it go, gosh, shrug, keep walking. All right. You get to the blue water inn. This fucking town. Yeah.

Open the doors. Is it too busy inside? No, it's dead quiet. It's past inn. This fucking town. Yeah, open the doors. Is it too busy inside? No, it's dead quiet. It's past midnight. It would be, I'm going to say, 4 a.m. Oh, my God. So it's very quiet, actually. There wouldn't even be someone behind the bar right now.

It'd be empty. If you want to go to bed, I'm happy to burn the body off the back. I feel like you would need assistance in a time like this. Or you would appreciate assistance. I'm going to start walking out the back. Anyone would appreciate assistance. He seems to, for the first time, have kind of... Anyone would appreciate assistance.

Let's just do it. Let's just do it. All right, I'll dump it onto the ground. Maybe breathe fire on it, whatever. That's easy. Are you doing it in the tavern? No, no, no, out the back. Okay, out the back.

Yeah, sure. All right. You create a pyre of sorts maybe a gogash goes inside and comes out every now and then with some logs and you chuck them on just making a little fire there's a at the back here of the blue water inn there's a set of stables and you can hear some whinnying noises from within as horses presumably not accustomed to suddenly fire yeah yeah panic a little. The smell of burning hair. Yeah, probably not great for them either.

Breathe it in. But nothing eventful happens. Well, yeah, after we've burnt the corpse. Now, did we establish with Hector to meet up at any point? Well, the Blue Water Inn is kind of your base of operations. Yeah, I suppose you'll come back here. Yeah, we didn't really say much. It was more like, we're going to take these bones back

to the church. It was all kind of happening in a bit of a flash. Alright, then I guess me and a go-gash will hit the hay. You walk back inside into the Blue Water Inn and you see Danica is now standing behind the bar. No, actually Erwin, sorry. Erwin is standing behind the bar. You can see that he

is just doing some beginning of the day unpacking like he's quite clearly just woken up and is setting things out as you walk in he looks at you kind of looks past you and you can see that he knew what was happening he just didn't come out and say anything

and he says what was that what of the many horrors was that that was a hag, I say. Ah. Yeah. You should have probably asked before we burnt it in your backyard. It's dead.

It's not going to cause you any problems. I would ask you to not just do that next time. Yeah, in the future we'll ask. It would be appreciated. Just if we could be prepared. Of course, of course. Well, we're going to hit there. It's been a long night.

The doors open. Oh, no. Two. We're going to hit there. It's been a long night. The doors open. Oh, no. Two members of the town guard step in. They sob as they see you, Pip. At St. Andrew's Church. Ha! Uh-oh.

You arrive, obviously. It's at Andrew's Church. You can see the lights are on an angel's church. Fly over there. You can see the lights are on as you land. Yep. Not stopping for anything. Just burst in, basically. You can't burst in. The doors are barred.

Damn it. Right. Let's. Yender says, oh, we just got a knock. All right. They bar the doors every night. Of course. It's pound on the door.

Bang, bang, bang. All right. They bar the doors every night. Of course. It's a pound on the door. Bang, bang, bang. You start slamming on the door. After a little bit, you hear from within, who goes there? Is it a voice I recognize? Is it the father? Great question. Yes, it's Father Lucian. Ah, beautiful.

Father Lucian, it's me, Hector, with Yenda. Open up. You hear some deadbolts being latched. You probably also hear like the a wooden board maybe several wooden boards being removed from the door

while that is happening I just want to be like not like back to it like the door basically and just scanning okay just I

I get a bad boy card fucking why am I so bad at this why can I just never look yeah now that's interesting.

You get scattery eyes. You're never paying full attention. Now that is interesting. What do you got? Oh, no. Wow. Whose weapon's about to get broke? That's what I'm thinking.

Well, see, just what I'm thinking is it's just you rolled a one, so I get a bad boycott. Okay. And just the bad boycott I got. Yes. Like I wasn't planning on this but you know what this would be interesting suddenly a dragon attacks the players are ambushed by a creature just coincidentally that's the card i got that's so strange

how weird dude how weird super strange that is guess what i i would never guess what's happened. Guess fucking what? Yeah. Out of the darkness. Yeah. You see. You realize. Actually, yeah, you. Oh, God.

You can't be upset at your own decision. You can't be like, oh, no, you did this. I just realized the beautiful logic in this. You realize Boris knew where you were going. Of course. While the doors are being unlatched and boards are being taken off, people appear out of the darkness. There's another diarist wolf, just one diarist wolf. Obviously, Boris and co. aren't getting here in time.

But Boris quite clearly has sent someone here to make sure that you don't get back into the church with the bones. They attack. Let's go to initiative. Shit. Fuck. I mean, if you get inside and then latch up quick enough. I'm just going to shove the bones into Yedda's hands. I'm going to get in.

Yeah, that's clever. Door's not open yet. Yeah, I know. Okay, what have I got? I've got a shield. Yeah, you're so low on everything. That's all I have. You have 13 hit points right now.

Oh, no, dude. I'm going to say there are a total of three villagers plus the diarist wolf. And it's not Boris, right? It's not Boris. No, it's just another diarist wolf. Just a regular diarist wolf. And it's not Boris, right? It's not Boris. No, it's just another diarist wolf. Just a regular diarist wolf.

That's really good to hear. I mean, it's- I mean, really the only difference is regular diarist wolves don't have spells. Yeah. Hm? What?! You would have seen this. Boris can cast spells.

Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Not this guy though, right? No, normal diarist wolves can't. Boris is just also a wizard. Yeah, that's cool. That's actually sweet, I think. This is the best news.

You don't know, Hector. I wouldn't have a clue. No, you absolutely- I wouldn't also a wizard. Yeah, that's cool. That's actually sweet, I think. This is the best news. You don't know, Hector. I wouldn't have a clue. No, you absolutely, as if you would not have mentioned that. Yeah, I wouldn't. All right, Hector, it's your turn first. Okay.

Okay. Now, I'm letting you know, there are windows as well. Yep. So you could break a window, but anything you destroy is something- That you can also get in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. could break a window, but anything you destroy is something... They can also get in. Okay, I'm going to tell Yender and Kribbit to get behind me. It's one wolf.

It's one direst wolf, three villagers. Okay, I'm going to cast command on the direst wolf and say, sit. How rude. He passes. Sucked in. That would be funny. Suffering your just thought it would be funny. Offering you jokes.

It would be funny. Okay. All right. Okay. And then I will, as a bonus action, I will, how long? I guess it does. It's run out. Cast Shield of Faith on myself.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. It's good. It's good stuff. All right. Was there anything else? And make sure that it's me and then Yender and then Kribbit behind me.

Okay. So two people attack you. Who's immediately behind you? Oh, just Kribbit and Yender. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to basically get them inside first. Two people attack you and both of them hit. That's great news.

You get hit with a club, and then... A candelabra. Yeah. A club and a candelabra. You take five damage total. Oh my god, that's more than I was expecting. One of them sneaks past you to swing at, let's say Yender. Hitting Yender, dealing two points of damage.

Okay, that's alright. How much health has Yender got? Ten. Okay, well, hmm. Then it is Kribbit's turn. K, that's alright. How much health has Yandy got? Ten. Okay, well, hmm. Then it is Kribbit's turn. Kribbit, though. Kribbit's your guy. Kribbit's got heaps of spells. He's a box of tricks.

If you, see, Kribbit doesn't want to be an active participant, is the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants other people to be the active participant. So first off, he's going to give you a, uh, his last bardic inspiration, Hector. Thank you, K, yeah. He wants other people to be the active participant. So first off, he's going to give you his last bardic inspiration, Hector. Thank you, Nukeshpid. Thank you.

That music is so good. The best, even in such dire moments as this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, no. What do you mean? You can't do this. You can't do this.

It's a good thing. It's a good thing. All right, okay. This is a spell I made, and I just forgot how funny it is. Okay. Kribbit gets a piece of chalk, and then he draws in the air the shape of a door. Okay. chalk and then he draws in the air the shape of a door okay as as he's drawing it it's like a paint like paint slowly dribbles down to create the door and you can see that he's eyeing through the window into the church if you follow his gaze you can see an identical door is creating itself within

the church oh i know so this is a spell I created called Og's Comical Doors. So, you create two doors linked through space, one within five feet of you, and then one within range and sight. The door is made of wood with beautiful carvings of an idyllic country town around

its edges, and a little peephole allowing viewing in both directions. When opened, the doors form a portal through which anyone may travel instantly from one to the other. The first time anyone tries to open one of the doors, flip a coin and have the caster call the result. If they are correct, the doors function normally. If they are incorrect, the doors are both locked.

If they are locked in this way, the doors are both indestructible and the lock cannot be picked by any means, including magical. So he has just created. So I don't know any of this. Well, see, that's funny you should say that because Zamit, odds are even. Odds. Kribbit opens the door And you see through the door

Into the church Kribbit steps through And stands on the other side holding the doorknob Then it is Yender's turn Yender passes through the door As well And then it's the diarist Close the door

Close the door You say that? I've given Yender thearist. Close the door. Close the door. Close the door. You say that? I've given Yender the bones, right? Yep. Close the door. Yender looks at you dead in the face, Hector, and she says, Our fates are tied.

If you and I, Kribbit, closes the door. I love that little guy. Oh, fuck. The door disappears. Okay, cool. All right, it's the direst wolf's turn. Yep. All right, sir.

Okay. It charges you. Mm-hmm. Good luck, Hector Dragonsbane. All right, what is your armor class again? Oh, God. Have a shield, though. Do have that shield.

That's really not helping you, buddy. Should have gone in the door. Really should have. Why didn't you know to do that? Alright, you take... How much did I get him? 22 points of damage.

Are you still standing? No. But I do have a card. If damage would reduce me to zero, one hit point instead. All right. Spend the good boy card. And then you're still going to need to make a strength saving throw.

Well, you're going to need to make two. Do I have my aura of saving throws back? Oh, you can switch over. Do it if you want. I think I would love to. Yeah, it's probably a really good idea at this point, I would say. First one is a pass.

Second one is also a pass. All right. So the Direst Wolf basically has you pinned up against the door, but you're still standing. Okay. Then it's Hector, your turn. All right. So they're still unlocking the door, right?

Yeah. Okay, cool. Cool. Cool. All right. So they're still unlocking the door, right? Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. All righty. This is so funny. Oh, my God.

You should have gone in the door. Yeah. Why didn't you know? Why didn't I know? Why didn't you expect this to happen? Yeah. Well, I'd be worried that the wolf would go in the door. That is fair.

I'm thinking about that. I mean, yeah, obviously, Jack. I thought you were joking. Yeah. The wolf would have gone through the doorway, is fair. I'm thinking about that. I mean, yeah, obviously, Jack. I thought you were joking. Yeah, the wolf would have gone through the doorway, you idiot. You never know. Okay. I would like to check another good boy card. Yes.

What would you like? Which is I regain 1d10 plus my level. So 1d10, Adam, please. 1d10? Yep. Plus my10? Yep. Plus my level. Okay, all right. That's two plus your level.

Fuck! So that's nine hit points. Hey, that's better than fucking one. That's still pretty good. I'm just wondering, should I try and leg it, which means I would then get a lot of taxidermists. Four attacks of op. Or do I just try and cure wounds myself and then leg it?

Well, probably cure wounds yourself, I would say. I might cure wounds myself first. What level? Second level, Adam. I don't have any first levels left. Good stuff. You recover 13 hit points. Okay.

And now, Adam, I would like to try and leg it. All right. Well, the three peasants get a swing. Two of them hit. Shit. That's okay. It can't be that much. Shit.

You take four points of damage total. That's fine. Well, it's not because you have very little health, but it's happened. And then the direst Wolf gets you. You take a further 11 points of damage. And you need to make a strength saving throw. Oh, my God. Hector, you hit the ground.

The Direst Wolf is upon you. It's you. Wait. Strength saving throw. I reckon I can help you here i absolutely cannot the the direst wolf bites your arm as you try to flee twists it and you feel your arm twisted a very uncomfortable way you definitely think you've it's dislocated your arm, but that is not really what you're thinking about.

That's just a tiny part of your brain. Because right now, your brain is screaming Dyrus Wolf is on top of me! Dyrus Wolf is on top of me! It is twisting and turning and pulling at your arm. The three people tower over you

and they start going to town. Oh, no. All right. You're so lucky. The Dyrus Wolf is so big and on top of you that they struggle to actually hit you. You take four points of damage. As one of the Chandelabras gets slammed into your temple. I'm like, oh, they can't hit me.

They can't hit me. You're untouchable. All right. Half my remaining hit points gone. The direst wolf kind of doesn't really let go of you. It's still pinning you to the ground, but candelabra hits you, turns to the church and calls out if you want to

get him alive open the door then it is Kribbit's turn now Kribbit, what is the most dramatic thing that could happen right now I love this frog this fucking guy Don't do it. Don't crib it. What is the most dramatic thing that could happen right now?

I love this frog. This fucking guy. This fucking guy. A gas starts seeping from underneath the door to the church. It spreads across the field, and everyone, including you, is going to need to make a constitution-saving throw. That's all right.

I'm good at this. Oh, God. I don't know. As soon as it rolls over you, it's awful. It's a stench that feels like it's stabbing your nostrils and eyes and mouth. It feels like any wet surface is burning. It feels like water catches fire. Anything wet catches fire.

Two of the people manage to stagger and keep kind of like their mental self to themselves. You and the direst wolf also manage to kind of like not be affected by it. But you are still like you're sickened, basically. One of the three people, though, stops what they're doing, drops their baton and starts retching. That is all they are going to be able to do. Is it a disease? It's not a disease. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay not a disease okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay it feels like it feels like mustard gas to be honest okay

okay okay and that was Krippet's turn Yender's turn now what's the most sensical thing that can be done um

okay you hear the sound of a bell dong dong dong at first you think it might be the bell tower

in the church but then you see a spectral bell swinging back and forth. The spectral bell clangs into the dire wolf. That rolls. I guess it is nice to die by the bells of a church. If I have to go, I guess you should. Unfortunately, the dire wolf flies flat on you

and the bell just swings over your head. And then... What else can they do? Damn. Fuck. Man, you're in so... You have Shield of Faith, right? Okay, well that's not going to help you then. This might. You feel a

strength enter into you. You have resistance. Within one minute, you can add a d4 to any saving throw that you need to make. And then it is the direst wall turn. Okay, goodbye.

I love you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Did it hit me? It did hit you, yes. So, with bardic inspiration, could I use Did it hit me? It did hit you, yes So, with Bardic Inspiration Could I use that as a defense?

No, alas, I'm so sorry Kind of Yeah, damn You take 22 points of damage With Strength Check or whatever Can I use that as a defense? What? Whatever just happened

You took 22 points of damage. Yeah, okay. All right. Yep. Okay. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Sorry, 27 points of damage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm currently on four hit points before. Ah. Yeah. I see.

I'd like to use this good boy card for my good friend. If he's unconscious, he stabilizes automatically. Okay. That's all I can do for him. Yeah, sure. That's all I can do for him. Well, you're stable. Hector, everything's just like winking in and out of consciousness?

Yep. My last, maybe before I am muttering, maybe yelling, I don't know. I'm saying, do not open the doors. Don't open the doors you you're kind of vaguely aware no it's it's not like it's kind of in and out of consciousness but constantly so you feel yourself being held up by the valakavians you feel them holding you up and you can tell that the wolf is kind of you're at in a kneeling position, high enough or low enough that the wolf has its jaws around your neck

and you can feel its fangs pricking deep into your neck. At any moment, the wolf could just bite down and tear your fucking throat out. You hear the one villager who isn't holding you up negotiating with the people

inside the church. They are trying to trade you for the bones. No. Oh, no. Don't. Don't. We only want the bones. Give us the bones of St. Andrew,

and you may have your Hector back. You kind of in and out. You can hear conversation from inside, and you can hear yelling back out. As you fade out for the last time, you can see Yender's little sad face through the window, and you don't hear, sorry, you don't hear, but you see her mouth the words, I'm sorry. That's perfect. And then you black out. Yep.

Good. All right. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Interesting turn of events. All this from a sneaky look. Yeah. She's had a quick gaze around and then, uh-oh.

Next time. Never look. Never look. Don't look next time. And then run away. Don't fight. Run away. I try.

All right. Pip, the two guards are standing in the doorway. Erwin looks at you and looks at them. He looks back at you and you can see his face is like white. Can I, do I think that I could whisper so that only Erwin could hear me? Yeah, you're quite close to him. Scream thief, I say. Fuck.

Scream thief, Erwin. Erwin, when you say that You see, because he's got to be so quick He's got to think so quickly He looks at you And there's just the briefest flash in his eyes Of such profound sadness And then

He falls over backwards Starts scrambling away from you Thief! Thief! Then I'd like to look at the town guard miming a panic like I've been caught. And then... Okay, so I could run through the back. That will lead me into the backyard.

Is there a way out through the backyard? Yeah. Okay, I'd like to bolt in the other door. Or is it better to just get caught? No, I'll be executed. Yeah. Hector will come save you. Everyone can do a jailbreak on me

because everyone else is fine. No, no, no. If I'm caught, I'll be caught in the street away from the blue water end. So I'd like to bolt through the back. To be fair as well, you know how Volcavian justice works. You don't think you're going to make it. I'll be swinging from a rope come morning time. Barely even then. You don't think they're going to accept quarter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, then I'm going to leg it through the back of the Blue Water Inn, into the backyard, and then try and vault the fence and just disappear into the night. You run into the back. You see a gogash standing over the last smoldering remains of the fire. He looks at you. Actually, I think from memory, a gogash isn't.

Yeah. So when you see a gogash, you very quickly just... So did Jackson remember? Yeah, yeah. You know that a gogash is not tied to you. You never saw me. And then I'll leap over the fence. A gogash doesn't even have time to ponder that.

As the two guards, you hear a whistling noise. Like one of them has a whistle. Oh, no. You hear a whistling noise and then presumably of them has a whistle. Oh, no. You hear a whistling noise, and then presumably you don't stick around to see it. But presumably the two guards burst out through the door chasing after you. All right. Okay, here's the fucked up thing. The next safe place is the orphanage.

It is indeed, isn't it? Yeah, that is true. That is the next safe place. Or the church. Or the church. Or the church. Oh, my God. You don't know. Yeah, actually, it's the church.

The church is where you guys are like that. Okay. It's a very similar distance. All right, hang on. Let me show you the map. Okay. So the Blue Water Inn is N2 over here. This is St. Andrew's Orph this is saint andrew's orphanage

and that's the church so it is a similar distance but i would say that the orphanage would be closer okay but i know my allies have gone to the church yes and look given everything i know the church is a place of sanctuary so i'm going to leg it but no i'm not i'm not just like straight running i think i'm going to try and stealthily make my way toward the church through backyards and side alleyways. If there's two people out hunting me at 4 a.m., that means everybody's looking for me at 4 a.m. You hear that you are not doing a great job losing them.

You're jumping over back alleys, but you keep, if you look over your shoulder, you can tell that you've not lost them. They're doggedly pursuing you. One of them continuously whistling. At first, you don't hear the dogs. But after a little bit, you hear the dogs. And then you can also hear in other directions whistling

as the entire town of Valakai is being roused to hunt you. Are they currently looking at me? Like, am I currently seen? If you break eye contact or if you break sight lines, it's only for a few seconds at a time. I wonder if I can break into a house and then try and go onto the rooftops. You would only be able to do it surreptitiously if it was already unlocked. Okay, well then I'll just keep keeping on running, trying doors as I go.

No, you, maybe you do find a few open doors, but they're actually gaining on you. So you don't get enough time to duck into a door anymore. You can feel them, like they're basically on your fucking heels, and you can feel the net is tightening. The other

whistling noises and the commotion from other directions is getting closer and closer. One time, you jump a fence, land in a back alley, and you see dogs chasing after you. You do it a second time, and this time it's another set of dogs, and they're even fucking closer. As you jump that second fence, one of the dogs snarls, snags the hem of your pants, and pulls at it. You are able to kick once, you hear the dog,

and then, that's a weird dog. Why'd you do that? He's a balaclava, I don't like these balaclava dogs. He's a little freaky guy, wasn't a dog. You kick down,

hit the dog, actually, when you hit the dog, it doesn't feel, it looks like a dog, but when you kick, your foot does not connect with dog, it connects with something else. Oh no. You put that in the back that's not a problem you keep going

um the walls of valakai yeah how surmountable are they from your side impossible okay well i mean you obviously they have a climb you obviously... I have a climb speed. Oh, if you have a climb speed, I mean, yeah, absolutely, you could climb them. Yeah. Well... Let me find out how tall they are. Yeah, okay. If I'm doing so, it might just get me peppered with arrows.

15-foot high wall. Okay, that's probably not enough. Although I could probably... I think 15 feet is my climb speed. So I could climb the walls. But also, because I have a climb speed, that means I could climb some buildings right as well some buildings yes yeah do i think that getting i'll at least be more difficult to pursue all right i'd like to try and maybe climb a drain pipe and okay yeah get onto the rooftops of valakai i get a bad boy card oh but you're actually

still fine. Because, fun fact, they don't have a climb speed, so you can fuck it up as badly as you want. Well, I'm in a panic. I'm knocking over drain pipes and dropping shingles off the roof. Sure. They're at your back. Both of them, one of them jumps up, grabs your legs,

and for a brief moment you're only connected by your arms to the drainage pipe. It comes off the wall. But you're able to force yourself up, and he does not have a climb speed, so he falls back down. You hear the whistling noise again. Some dogs start barking and jumping up at the wall. You are on the roof. Okay, now I'd like to try and escape the pursuit across rooftops. All right. I'll give you advantage to the roll because they can't follow you as easily anymore.

All right. Okay. You managed to, you've not lost them. They know where you are, but they can't see you. You've got 10 seconds. Okay. All right. Fuck.

What buildings can I see around me? You can see the church to your west. You can see the church to your west. You can see the walls to your north. You can see the main road through town to your south. And behind you is basically your pursuers. If you look around, you can see a lot of other guards dotted around the place running in your direction. Well, you see the torches of guards running around. It's still before sunrise, so you're't, you're not visible, right?

Yeah, I'm sort of shrouded in darkness. And the rooftops toward the church, are they high? Like, I'm on the second or the first level of a building. Highs or lows? Let's go lows. Lows?

It would be a tough jump check, but you could do it. I reckon let's go for it. You make the first... Is that a dexterity based check? it would be a strength based check it's like the one I don't have can't complete my fucking set

I'm missing two, I don't have charisma either I got the rest you make a very important jump oh you rolled well you shingles falling all around you you leap and kind of half slam but do land on the roof of the next one. You've got to scramble a little bit, but you get onto the roof.

Then bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. You leap to the next roof. It's a little bit lower, so that one's fine. And then you've got one last jump to the church. That is the last roll. Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm going for it. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. You leap and you're it. I'm going for it. You leap

and you're airborne for an uncomfortable amount of time. But, bang! You hit the roof of the church and you slide down the opposite side of the church and land in the graveyard. You will take

three points of damage. You maybe twist your ankle. And then I'd like to just like hunker down, maybe clutching at my ankle. Sure. Are there any like crypts around? There would be one crypt, yes. I'm going in. Actually, two.

Two crypts. Which one looks the least spooky? One has written over it, Watcher, whicher which related to lady watcher the other one has a word in a language you well what languages do you know i think i just know draconic in common one is written it's a single word but it's written in a language or an alphabet you don't even recognize all right i'll go that one all right you step into that one this may be like a metal grate but it's not locked. So you open it, close it.

And then you're just kind of chilling in there with the crypt. Yeah. Hunker down. Yeah. Hold on to my ankle. Try and stop my heart from going a million miles an hour and try and think of what to do next. Yeah. All right.

Okay. Good. Well, the sun rises eventually. We're going to call that 6 a.m. Yeah. The sun, does been like two hours that's so funny would you act earlier than that no no no no i just mean like it's this happened at four and now yeah yeah at about 6 a.m the sun rises and it is as always uh a dreadful day in borough Can I hear the sound of whistles still? Or did I kind of hear that peter off during the night? As the sun rose, the sound of whistles would have slowly died out.

I'd like to sort of hobble out of the crypt and make my way to the church, I guess, like around the front. You approach the church. As you can see, boards and locks are being removed. You would know this. The church gets locked up for the night. Typically, there would be quite a few Valakavians hidden within the church, cowering, assuming that they are protected, not that they, without the bones, have been protected recently.

But, yeah, people assume that there's protection within the church. You spot Yender and Kribbit, along with Father Lucian, stepping out the front of the church, you spot Yender and Kribbit along with Father Lucian stepping out the front of the church. And you can see their faces are very dire expressions. You got the bones back. Kribbit looks at you. Yeah. And he opens his mouth.

And you can see as he's opening his mouth, he's pulling out the loop. Yender slaps her hand over Kribbit's mouth and says, We got some real bad news. Okay. Me too, I suppose. You first. Let's talk about this inside. Okay.

As you walk inside, Father Lucian actually picks up. And he explains, Your friend, he arrived with the bonds, but there was an ambush, a wolf, a massive, powerful-looking wolf. Did he have any arrows in his back? No, he did not. Okay, all right. But he and some villagers took your friend. Hector?

He has been, I'm sorry, captured. Yender continues onwards, and she says, was a that wasn't even half of it we on our way here we were ambushed twice we were ambushed twice out the front but then also we got ambushed just almost immediately after we left the the orphanage that you said a wolf with like arrows and arrows yeah yeah he was there yeah. There were wolves and people there as well. They ambushed us. What? Why would they take Hector?

Well, they were trying to trade him for the bones. They got the bones? Hector, he sacrificed himself. I know, like, it's not unexpected. Was he dead? No, they took him alive. Small blessings, I suppose. Do I know where they would have taken him?

You have no idea. Yender puts up a hand and says, oh, I assume this is important to something. But Boris, did you say his name was? Yeah, that's Boris. He had like a weird thing in his mouth. Oh, no, not him. Sorry. One of his companions.

One of the other wolves. Sorry, it all happened so fast. Of course. What kind of thing in its mouth? Like a tentacle of some sort. It smelled of the other wolves. Sorry, it all happened so fast. Of course, what kind of thing in its mouth? Like a tentacle of some sort. It smelled of seawater. It was black. It's bulking at that. Maybe I've sat down on a pew at this point just to take a

breather. A tentacle? Yeah, it looked like I don't know. It sounds like it's from the but why would they take the to what end? And villages? There were villages with the wolves? Yeah, glossy-eyed, like those people that have been...

Yeah, that have been taken by the... What the fuck does that mean? Okay, that's a lot to take in. My bad news is that I think I nearly got captured by the town guard. I don't think I can go back to the Blue Water Inn. They nearly caught me. Was it? Is that it?

Well, yes. I appreciate that it's not quite on the same level as yours. She puts a hand on your hand. Is a go-gash okay? He's fine. Yeah, he's fine. Okay. Well, then the tentacle in the wolf's mouth ties it somehow to the watery mass. How does that one think?

It's like writing in his book. It just sounds like a tentacle from a watery mass. And the people behaving were behaving like the people in Sausalte or mind controlled by the watery mass. What Boris and his cronies have to do with that, I have no idea. But if I had to take a guess, and it is a guess, Hector's being brought to Lake Zarevich to change him too? Maybe, says Kribbit. Kribbit turns around and he shows you an incredible likeness

of a wolf with one of the tentacles in its mouth, and then he flips over and he shows you the contraption the direst wolves have made the net yeah that's capture a hectare they figured out traps yes has he got drawings of hectare being taken away yeah okay he's got a few of that's that's crazy well it's it's probably best for me to be out of Valakai anyway, so maybe a rescue mission of sorts, yeah? Kribbit nods. He's got like an inner sense of, you can tell he's almost vibrating with excitement,

like every molecule of him. Rescue mission. Gotta kill the watery mess anyway. Two birds, one stone. Yender nods. We can't, I don't leave someone behind. Not like that. We're going after them, obviously. If you think they're taking them to

up north, that's where the lake is, right? Well, we're going after them. Yeah, I suppose we are. Hector. So, I don't think we've properly established this yet, but we are currently using a slightly different rule set, or a modified rule set that can be found in the Dungeon Master's Guide called Gritty Realism.

Now, it's not really been important until now, because up until this point... You've been really nice to us. Yeah, you've not really been in this dire situation. I mean,'ve been really nice to us. Yeah, you've been treating us with kindness. You've not really been in this dire situation. I mean, you've been in dire situations. Yeah, yeah. But you've never been in a situation where you're coming back from basically nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With this dire-ish whoosh. And typically, yeah, after an encounter, you've never had an encounter where after the encounter, you haven't had free time. Yeah, yeah. Free time to just sit around and... Recuperate. Yeah. Spend some spells, healing yourself and whatnot. So this gritty realism rule set is kind of meant to represent

the fact that Penia is weak here in Barovia. So what happens now? Okay. So normally in D&D, a short rest is one hour and a long rest is eight hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with this rule set, a short rest is one hour and a long rest is eight hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with this rule set, a short rest is eight hours and a long rest is seven days. That's not very short at all.

Seven days, you say? So. That's so long. In the time it takes for you to get where you are currently, you will only have had a short rest. for you to get where you are currently, you will only have had a short rest. Now, you can, over the course of this short rest, spend up to seven D10 recovering hit points.

How many of your seven D10 would you like to spend? All seven, Adam. How many does he normally get? Normally, do you mean in a normal game? In regular course of play. He'd be fully healed. Everything would return. But right now, you've only had a normal game, he'd be fully healed. Everything would return. But right now, you've only had a short rest, so you would only recover

any abilities that you would have recovered in a short rest. You know how I can only fly once a day? Once a week. Oh my god. Okay. Interesting. That's interesting stuff. I like that I'm getting punished because Penny is weak.

Penny is a problem, not mine. Just gotta go I'm getting punished because Penny is weak. That's Penny's problem, not mine. Just gonna go through some of my actions and oh no. I've been very cavalier with the divine sense. Maybe I won't be. Maybe it won't retract that bad. The gods of healing no longer shine on Barovia. To be continued... for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to

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