D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #25 Into the Svalich Woods

Episode Date: March 4, 2023

It’s one thing after another as Hecktor and Agogash go on the lamb. Pip does his best to track them both while Hector experiences elf heaven on the back of a horse.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated. The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strahd is our jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill Devil Strahd. Is that conjures a bowl of flames into his hand?

Oh, no. And he throws it at you. Ha ha, idiot, I'm resistant to fire. He hits you. Dumb cunt. Moron. I'm resistant to fire. He hits you. Dumb cunt. Moron. I'm resistant to fire. You take three points of damage.

That's not so bad. Or seven points of quotation marks damage, if you will. I will, I will, I will. All right. Oh, and then some people, a few more people now, because they kind of are realizing what's happening. No, they swarm Eleniel. It's so funny to imagine four people being like, where's my weapon?

What did I do with my, oh, I threw it in the lake. That's a critical hit. That's a critical hit. That's a regular hit. That's a regular hit. All right, let's do the regular hits first. Oh, dear. that's a regular hit alright let's do the regular hits first oh dear as Eleniel gets swarmed she takes

four points of damage from two just regular old run of the mill attacks nothing special I know the chairs are the criticals you can only do critical hits with a chair these will be candelabras

oh no the first one isn't a chair it's a fucking ladder Yeah, the chairs are the critical hits. These will be candelabras. Oh no, the first one isn't a chair, it's a fucking ladder. Oh my god. Kneecapped. Quadruple damage if you have disadvantage on skill checks that rely on your legs until you finish a long rest.

Yes! One of Elaniel's legs One of the villagers runs up with a ladder. Using the ladder like a lance, they break Elaniel's leg. They break Elaniel's knee. They make Elaniel's knee bend

the other way. Elaniel takes only 16 points of damage. Okay. Luckily. A ladder will do that to you. But yeah, she now has disadvantage on any skill check that relies on her legs until a week has passed.

I was going to quickly ask though, when does that start? When was our last long rest? Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Well, I mean if it's takes seven days, like, is it, you know... Oh, seven days. You don't need to be doing nothing for those seven days. I just went a week past. I would argue that you need to have a short rest on each one of those days.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But so long as you do that, I would say you can be doing other things. Yeah, because pretty much the moment we've arrived in Barovia, we've been going. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm just wondering, like, when did that, like, you know, when did that seven day, are we currently, like, day six? Are we currently day seven? That's all I want to know. Oh, it starts from today.

So from now. I hate that. I hate that. Yeah, that's cool, dude. That's really cool. Okay. Just clarifying. Yeah, sorry.

Okay. That was the first critical she took That's right She took two Yeah That's right Let's hope for a low number Okay

That's Look Good news Bad news Good news Good news It could have been worse Okay

Bad news Only by one Oh my god Oh wow Bludgeoning I'm sorry Wide open by one. Oh my god. Oh wow. Bludgeoning, I'm sorry, wide open.

All enemies within range may make an attack of opportunity against you. Okay. So she takes three points of damage and then let's do that again. Oh no.

What's more? At least they were at full health. Yeah. You know, when they started this. Yeah, yeah. If that had been any of us, well, goodbye. Well, you. Well, full health. Yeah. You know, when they started this. Yeah, yeah. If there had been any of us, goodbye.

Well, you. Well, me soon. Yeah. Hit. Yeah. Hit. That's it. Okay, thank God.

I was expecting so many more criticals again. I was like, guaranteed, guaranteed. Another seven points of damage. Okay, she's getting fucking bananered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, you know, it was one of them. Fucking bananered. What does that even mean? I'm pretty happy with it.

I think it's good. It's the watery mass instead. Oh, I think this is bad. Oh, it's... At least I'm not getting dragged into its mouth. That was it missing you. You get dunked in the water. Yeah. And then it's going to, with one of its

tendrils, well, that's one of its attacks, essentially. With its other... Quiet, Adam. What has made you laugh so? Good news, bad news. Which would you prefer first? Let's get that good news. Bad news deserves it.

It's no longer grappling you. Okay, sweet. But I heard word that there was some bad news. Oh, fuck. Getting whipped. Like a whip, it throws news. Oh, fuck. Getting whipped. Like a whip, it throws you. Like a whip, it throws you. With a whipping motion, it throws you.

No. So, the first thing you know, it's like so fast, you don't even know what's happening. All you know is that it's like the air itself became solid and it feels like you hit solid air.

That was you breaking the sound barrier. Well, hopefully they've thrown you far enough. You can get some pretty sick shots off before you land

and become a paste. Maybe I can do it while I'm in the air. This is, I think, you becoming a passata. Yeah, I'm about to be passata, Pip. You're becoming a spicy marinara sauce.

Yeah. You are thrown 40 feet. Oh, no. You're knocked prone. Uh-huh. And you take. Are you in the water? No, out of the water.

No, he's not even on the beach. Oh. You take 12 points of damage. Okay. All right. Okay. Hey, you're both on the same hit point total. That's not good.

That's a really bad news. You said that like it was good news, Adam, but I'm going to tell you. That's a wazzle wazzle. It's the direst wolves turn. Okay, fuck. They bring the horse down. Great news. Thank you. You and a go gosh. Thanks, down. Great news. Thank you.

You and a go, Gash. Thanks, Adam. Once again. You and a go, Gash. Take six points of damage. Oh, fucking, fucking hell, man. That's three hit points to you. That's a real worry.

We're not all the same people. Yeah, we are. Well, I was going to say significantly lower than me, but not really. That's the direst wolves turn pip okay I have a potion left that I didn't drink when we were fighting the hag but I made for the hag that maybe it's time to guzzle down now

which just gives me magic and damage resistance I'm going to give that a drink is that my turn? well that's your action to drink the potion. Okay. So you drinking the potion, you will get four. Oh, wow.

Good job. For four turns. Okay. You will get advantage on saving throws versus spells. Yeah. And you will get a two point reduction on any non-magical damage you take. Okay. I'll take it.

It's something. Was there anything else you wanted to do? I don't think I have any bonus actions really, so no. Okay, cool. What a waste. Could you just shot? Piercing damage does good damage right now. Oh, that's right.

Eleniel whips that telescopic thing that she has right out, and then she begins arrow, arrow, arrow, arrow, arrow, firing at the watery mass. She hits twice. Okay. And that's a lot of ones. Eleniel, please.

I'm begging you. It's so fucked up that... Oh, no, I've still got damage dice left for healing when I sleep. I'm begging you. It's so fucked up that... Oh, no, I've still got damage dice left for healing when I sleep. You, Lesser. 36 points of damage. Oh. Hey.

I forgot it's... She's fucking it up because it's a piercing vulnerable. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. That's good. All right.

All right. Okay. All right. All right. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. It's a bit of a coin flip right now But It could be worse That's alright

I feel like I hear that so often from your last door meeting Cribbit Brings out a little light crossbow You can't see, but it's beautifully Etched on all of the sides On all of the surfaces It's got beautiful pictures of little grungs dancing and playing different instruments is this like it's less

a crossbow and more an instrument for him normally it's just that so as he winds it have you fucked up if that killed you? That's the last thing you hear. That'd be intense. As a magical weapon, it will overcome damage resistance, and so it's going to deal double damage. Oh, come on. All right, all right.

The watery mass does not look like it wants to pursue this fight for much longer. It's a go-gash's turn. This is an entirely separate, awful situation for you. A go-gash stands up, looks at you, Hector, with a lot of seriousness. He says, stay behind me. I know I talk a lot of shit, but I can take this and you can't. I just nod. A go-gash with his axe in just one hand turns back to the direst wolves, screams to the heavens, and with almost steam coming out of his ears, he begins swinging his axe with wild abandon. Hector, it's your turn.

Quick question. Yeah. So when I was knocked unconscious, my backpack is gone. So now my weapon's with me. I remember I have a medallion or like a necklace with like a gnome's penny kind of symbol. Do I have that still? I would say yes. I will cast Word of Radiance on all the wolves.

All right. All right. That's good. Is that a cantrip? Yeah. That's good. That's not that's good. Is that a cantrip? Yeah. That's good. It's not that, yeah. One passes, the rest fail.

All right. All right. Wow, 12 damage to all of them. Hey. One of the direst wolves, you issue an explosive, blinding almost flash of light in all directions. One of the direst wolves

is flash fried. There's nothing but ash. Ash hits the floor. Raise my head. Help me. The other direst wolves take some serious damage, but none of them die. Unfortunately. And then it is the people's turn.

Oh, did you have anything else? No Hide behind the gogash That's what we're talking about Yeah, yeah, hide behind the gogash I guess is what I'm doing One Critical hit

Cribbit Gets hit once normally And once with a chair. Four points of damage. I love that this group of people, their big damage dealer is just the fact that they roll so many times that they're just kind of likely to get a critical hit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just they get the odds on their side. Oh, man. What? I just keep rolling high for these ones. Out for the count. Don't like that. Quadruple damage

and make a DC 16 constitution saving throw on a failed save. You are knocked unconscious. Okay. So that's 12 points of damage to Kribbit.

And Kribbit needs to make a constitution saving throw. Little frog's got a good guts. Crack! Flump! Okay, I guess he's not great at kind. Not as hardy as we'd like. Kribbit is knocked out cold. Weak little frog belly. Yeah. And then Eleniel.

Okay, fuck. You're in luck, Pip. Yes. You were thrown so fucking far that no one can actually get to you this turn. Cool. And that's a hit. That's a hit.

That's a critical hit. Oh, my God. These fucking chair guys. Maybe Cribbit should have. It's the same one each time. Yeah. Maybe Cribbit should have, like, you know, disarmed all these chair fuckers. Yeah.

Maybe that would have been useful. Everyone in the chair in the lake. So. Yeah. You're going to laugh. You in the chair, in the lake. So, you're gonna laugh. You're gonna laugh. How am I? So, you know how the watery mass forgot the last four days?

No. Oh my god. What happened in the last four days? She needs to make a constitution saving throw Which she's not bad at She failed It's not as bad though as the watery mass She loses the last hour of her life

She at least remembers what's happening She lost four days She'd just see you and shoot she'd be like Bip Manderid did this I know that would've been so fucking funny the next one up

the next one up from this if I'd accidentally rolled that would've been she forgets everything oh my god she just doesn't

remember who she is she takes four points of damage and then she loses the last hour of her life no biggie she can

well you can you know it's just the thing she was planning to do is now the thing that's happening And then she loses the last hour of her life. No biggie. She can blow. You can, you know, it's just the thing she was planning to do is now the thing that is happening. That's almost good. Imagine if right now you like were an hour ahead of whatever you needed to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did it as well. You did it as best as you could. You've just skipped an hour of hard work. It's the watery masses turn.

At least I'm far away now. Yeah, it can't get you. Who can it get? It's not getting closer to Kribbit. It's in the middle of the lake, isn't it? It's scared, right? Kribbit's unconscious. It's not scared anymore. It's wounded, right? It's pretty fucked up.

It's good to hear. Yeah. It attacks Elaniel. Okay. It's pretty It's wounded right? It's pretty fucked up Yeah It's good to hear Yeah Um It attacks Elaniel Okay Okay Cool It misses Elaniel

Okay That's good And then with it's other attack It picks up Cribbit Uh oh Uh oh Uh oh Not Cribbit Adam

Don't you dare It's the direst wolves turn Ah shit Ah shit And It's the direst wolves turn. Ah, shit. Ah, shit. And it's bad. It's so fucking bad, my dude.

Oh my god. Can I climb? I'll climb. Get on top of his head cribbit style. Alright, one of them lunges in. You have no armor. One of them lunges in and bites at you, but isn't able to

grasp upon you. Another one gets you. You get bit. Well, what's your crane hit points? Three, Adam. Oh, yeah, no. Minimum damage. Okay. Alright. Everything goes dark for you, buddy. Come on, man.

I'm already at one savings. Oh, wow. They're not great at going for a go-gash, at least. Small miracles. Well, you made a go-gash's job a lot easier. That's good. You take the damage he could have. Oh, he's also taking half damage.

He's in rage mode. He's raging. And that was the diarist wolf's turn. Oh, you're on one failed saving throw, by the way. If it's your turn. Okay, can I hit the watery mass from here? Yeah. Okay, yeah, I'm going to just plug it with two arrows,

and let's make them want a precise shot. Okay. Give myself advantage. Critical hit. Yes! Yay! Now watch as I get the lowest. Watch as it forgets another four days of its life.

Yeah, well, there it is. God damn it. Fuck it, Al. Make a DC 14 constitution saving throw on a failed save. Permanently lose one point of intelligence. How smart is it anyway? You made it dumber. And we just stop it?

Theoretically, no, unfortunately. No, unfortunately. I mean, it loses one point of intelligence, but that doesn't do a lot to it. Your second attack is also a hit. Nice. So you deal 19 points of damage. All right.

Oh. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Oh, nope, sorry. Now, you've done quite a lot of damage to it, huh huh huh oh nope sorry nah you've done quite a lot

of damage to it and you can see the watery mass actually maybe the watery mass begins to recede it's trying to flee yeah yeah yeah

that's well that's good I mean we don't want it to flee I get but it won't heal it's Elaniel's turn yeah okay fuck

fuck fuck fuck imagine oh wow her second attack missed but her first attack hit. Thank fucking Christ.

Oh, wow. She did so little damage. It's still enough, though. Eleniel, twang, twang, twang, twang. With arrow after arrow after arrow, eventually the watery mass hits the water with a solid thump as it does so it lies very terribly still slowly it begins to like ice melt away you think in just maybe a few minutes it's going to be gone when that happens all the people on the beach start like, whoa. Like kind of realizing

what's happening. None of them have any memory from being taken here to waking up at this moment. But none of them, they're all so confused that even ones who might be members of the town guard are so just baffled right now that no one really, no one's thinking

of arresting me. A lot of people just sit down. Yeah, fair enough. Perfect gets dropped in the water. Yep. Oh, okay. You can breathe underwater, right? You're a frog man.

Now, here's the thing about Gronk. From memory, no. Nope. They're green tree frogs, unfortunately. Or poisonous dart frogs or whatever. Okay. That was Emanuel's turn. Does the shock of the water wake him up? It's Kribbit's turn.

How high did he drop? Yeah, that's a failed saving throw. Okie doke. Okie doke. Oh, no, he's unconscious. He's not. That's right. I'm sorry.

He would take another seven points of damage when he hits the water. Okay. Which isn't great for him, but I would say that wakes him up. Oh, okay. That's good. Good, good, good. Can Kribbit swim? Kribbit begins swimming back to shore.

Okay. And it is Gorgash's turn. Would the crowd say turn on dire wolves? Like, I mean, now. You're pretty far away at this point. Yeah, you rode hard and fast. You went for like three full turns, so

you'd be nearly 500 feet away at this point. Alright, and we'll get back to a go, Gash. You are out of initiative. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. My turn yet?

We'll get to you in a minute. Okay. Krivitz swims back to shore, walks up, kind of shakes himself off. Eleniel turns to look at you and then maybe off into the receding darkness where Gogash went. Just gesture like, should we follow them? I don't think we should stay here, she says. She looks around and you just don't need the complications of talking to these people. No, absolutely.

Everybody can figure out. It's not my job to figure out everybody's home, okay? I killed the monster. That's enough. Kribbit, maybe. No, Kribbit's not going to be an active participant. Eleniel's not going to fucking do it. Are you going to free any of the people who are still tied up?

I mean, obviously, the people here aren't going to be like, well, I guess we were killing these people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They will get freed, but no one's freeing them currently. Maybe if, like, are there people that as we walk into the darkness, like, that we pass by? No, everyone here is really discombobulated. Okay.

Like, there's no one I could bark, like, untie them at? Probably, yeah. All right, well, yeah, as we pass someone, I'll be like, make sure you untie the people by the shore and then we'll keep walking. The person seems, you see that they register your words, but they just seem too confused. That's the amount of effort I want to put in. Okay, cool. You start tracking off into the darkness. As we're doing that, I'd like to make a concoction.

All right. I could. Can you make one death saving throw, please? Oh, no. Okay, it's a success. it's a success That's good That sucks And can you make another death saving throw please? Please

Please 18 Alright that's one failed Two successful Alright give me one tick. Go gosh. All right. Okay.

Cool. Can you make another one? Okay. Okay. Things are looking pretty good for you, though. Yeah, two successful, one failed. That's a 20. That's a 20, baby.

You're back, baby. You wake up. You've got one hit point. It's dark. It's dark. It's dark everywhere. You are being jostled up and down. You can hear. A hand, an arm is over you on your shoulders.

You can hear from somewhere in the darkness. You can't see anything. It's just dark in every direction. You can hear barking and snarling and and gnashing of teeth and then another arm uh protectively comes over you you realize immediately you're on a go gash's shoulders yeah a go gash puts both of his arms on top of you and then you can now see everything a lot clearer but but everything has like a smoky, misty quality. It's like everything is built out of smoke. You can see kind of almost infinitely in every direction through this smoky surrounding.

You are in the ethereal plane. Agogash runs through the ethereal plane. Runs through the ethereal plane. As he turns around to look at you, and he says, We are fleeing is where we are. Okay. Be ready for the return, he says. You're back in the material plane. The diarist wolves quite clearly got a little flustered at this.

They lost a gogash. So you hear them barking, but they're a little further away this time. But they have reacquired a Gogash almost immediately. How far, how close are they? They're probably within 30 feet. No, sorry, they would be 80 feet away.

Sorry. If they get to 60, I'll start firing off some spells, but until that point, let's just ride like the wind. All right. You're back in the ethereal plane. Let's look around. You can see hundreds, thousands perhaps.

You didn't notice it last time because they were standing so still. You could not imagine so many people so still. But you see countless numbers of people standing completely still watching you they are there is no two alike this is the most they are all ghostly like made out of smoke like the surroundings you see elves of any sort of stripe you see strange beings like eladrin which which are kind of an offshoot of elves. You see dwarves. You see tieflings. You see basically

anything except a human. And all of them wear really impressive garb, shields, armors, cloaks, fancy-looking swords. You recognize them as adventurers. Every single one of them is an adventurer.

Okay. You're back in the material plane. The Dyrus Wolves are a little further now. Who are they? I do not know. I see them every time I come into the Ethereal, but only here in Abrovia. I've never encountered them before. I think

Gagash gives a nervous glance at you and then a nervous glance past you to the Dyrus Wolves. I think they gogash gives a nervous glance at you and then a nervous glance past you to the direst wolves I think they were people who came before us

they weren't moving they were they were standing just watching you okay so they were like not dead no they're spirits

other spirits they're the adventurers who have died here in Barovia yeah yeah yeah you're back in the ethereal. Once again, there's so fucking many of them.

It's thick with adventurers. Every time you do it, you get a little further away from the diarist wolves. But every time you do it, you realize you're in the ethereal for a little less time. Until finally, until finally, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

a gogash starts making way more noise than he has before. You look down and you see that a gogash is no longer, those little motes of air around his feet, they're no longer there. A gogash you never realized but had muffled feet

this entire fucking time. Agogash does not once more move into the ethereal plane, but you manage to escape the direst wolves. Eventually, once Agogash thinks you are safe, he slows down, stops, and slowly puts you down.

Thank you. He sits down. Agogash seems truly exhausted. I pick him up. I'm just like, we gotta keep... I don't think you're strong enough. Come on. What's your strength? 16?

I try to pick him up. I try to help him up then. Ogogash, with all of his equipment, is probably too heavy. If you try, maybe it turns into, instead of picking him up, maybe you grab him by the wrists, intending to pick him up then. Agogash with all of his equipment is probably too heavy. If you try, maybe it turns into, instead of picking him up, maybe you grab him by the wrists. Intending to pick him up, but Agogash just stands up. Come on, we need to go. Agogash nods.

I'm sorry, I have lost which direction is which in all the chaos. I do not know where we need to head. And in the darkness I am confused. I turn up again, I'm 60 feet. I look sky to the stars to anything to be just like

where are we? It's, like I said, it's thick cloud overhead. There, you look up, you realize it's a full moon, but it's, there is enough light here for a new moon, not a full moon. You just can't see anything.

Okay. Where were the wolves? They were coming that way? Ogogash looks around. He gestures in a direction. I think they came. I think we last encountered them in that direction. All right.

Well, I guess we just go the other way. Or perpendicular. Perhaps. Maybe. Yes. He, no, he doesn't take the time for that. He just starts heading in a direction and expects you to follow, I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess that comes, we came from the lake. Yeah.

Right? So we, yeah. All right. We don't, we don't, yeah, we go kind of almost like perpendicular to where we were going. Sure. I had a right angle as it were. Fingers crossed that you're not even just one degree off. Yeah. That would mean that you would miss Valakai by hundreds of miles. Oh, I know.

Until we just get like a little bit of land. Sure. Out of the trees. See if we can see something. Yeah, well, good luck. Well, Pip. Okay. I'm just going to be tracking them because I assume that they're still basically at the mercy of the direwolves.

As you're walking with more than a little bit of haste, you spot a mace, a familiar looking mace, sticking out of one of the packs. You loop your arm through it, pick it up, and you take Hector's bag off. You and Eleniel track. You find where the hooves stop and you find the dead horse. Both of its rear legs have been torn off. Elaniel kneels near the horse, puts a hand on its snout

and issues just a short prayer to a god you've never heard of. When she stands up, she gestures and both of you can see there's three dead diarist wolves here. You can see a lot of blood and footprints and paw prints heading into the slavish woods. Okay. We've got to finish what we started.

I'm going to follow them. You and Eleniel and Kribbit head into the slavish wood. Let's hit the encounter table, baby. No. No. It's relentless. Okay, so highs or lows? Let's do the highs.

Highs? Lows. No, no, no. No, you want highs. We actually really meant highs. That's fine. It'll be a not too challenging encounter then

okay thanks pal oh there's no you there's no way you're not having an encounter yeah of course I mean yeah

maybe it's one of them good encounters maybe it's the clap how many hit points you got I got one dude that sucks for you yeah

and probably a gogash yeah a gogash well he's not hail and. And probably a gogash. A gogash. Well, he's not Hale and Hardy, but a gogash. He's got to carry me around, man. He's pretty fucked up, actually. Maybe it'll be just regular wolves. It is. That's not so bad.

And it's only nine to five. A regular wolf's going to have, like, five hit points or something, dude. It's got to be low. You can hit them with your word of power or whatever. You're right. A wolf's going to have, like... Yeah, how fucking powerful low can a wolf be? Hey, speaking of, how's the lows?

Lows? Whoa, Lowe's! No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I hate the glee on your face. What one are you picking? Lowe's, I'm picking Lowe's. Lowe's? All right, it's an easy encounter then.

Nine wolves? Nine wolves, yeah. An equal number of wolves attack Pip and Hector. That would be so fucking funny. No, if that happened, I genuinely just would have put you in the same encounter, to be honest. That would have been so good. That would have been nice. You almost would have liked that.

Yeah, we would have. Instead, it's going to be two. You got eight wolves. Yeah, we'll get it. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Easy peasy.

All I got to do is, like, not wearing any armor, knock a hit. You have no AC, does that mean? Yeah. That's so intense. I guess I'm also not wearing my beautiful shield that I got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Uh-huh.

What's up? You see a green light in the forest. Elaniel and you both stop. Kribbit does not know Barovia well enough. Yeah. But both you and Elaniel are like, what is this? Can I identify it as a Willy Wispy? As the Emanuel the Monster might call it?

It could be. Okay. It's just all you know is that there is a green light. It's at about, I would say at about chest height. Okay, how far away? Extreme distance, probably like 200 feet. We avoid it entirely, I would say at about chest height. Okay, how far away? Extreme distance. Probably like 200 feet. We avoid it entirely. I don't need that. Fair enough. Yeah.

And I make sure everybody else... Kribbit kind of as you're making your way to go around it, Kribbit stops, looks at it, looks back at it. Maybe I pick him up, put him on the path facing away from me. Okay, yes. No, no. We need to find a friend to get his story. It looked good.

We come back for this? Nothing good comes from following lights in the wood, Kribbit. Not a single thing. That's what this one wants. Nothing good. Does that one not know? Storyteller. Yeah, it'll be a bad story.

It'll be the story of Kribbit's death. These ones come back. Who would write story of Kribbit's death? Who would read story of Kribbit's death? We've really got to get going. All right, so the nine wolves. It's Ogogash's turn first. Ogogash sighs and then enters a rage.

That's a long rest one. Fuck. And you know what? He's gonna frenzy. Good. He charges forwards and starts swinging. First attack, hit. Second attack, hit. Second attack, hit.

Third attack, hit. So let's hope he does good. Max damage to every single one of them. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he kills them in one go. Well, he kills one. Doesn't need to roll at least. That's a gill.

Yeah, all right. He kills three of the nine. All right. That's great. Six wolves. Then it is six wolves' turn. God damn it. They attack him. Okay, that's great. Six wolves. Then it is six wolves' turn. God damn it. They attack him. Okay.

Because he charged, this is kind of what he wants, I suppose. That's a hit, hit, hit, hit. Oh no, that's a miss. Hit, hit, hit, hit, hit. Alright, so five hits. But they're only regular wolves, so they only deal... He's raging.

He's raging. 2d4 damage. Divided by two. Divided by two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think a Gagash will be just fine. Just peachy, I reckon. I think he'll just be peaches and cream, baby. Killed by regular wolves.

What a pedestrian way to die in Barovia. 50. What? 40 damage. Halved. Okay. Halved. Okay.

He takes 20 points of damage. Okay. Okay. And then it's your turn, Hector. What a night this has been. What a few days. I think it's insane this all got kicked off because Hector decided to have an extra look around at the front of the church. All right.

I have no weapon, correct? All right. Sweet. Did he attack all the ones? There's no wounded wolf right now. No. Any wolf he hit, he killed. He beheaded three wolves.

Okay. I... Whispering an apology to Penia. I'm going to try and take maybe a few steps back, so I'm like 30 feet from... Then a few more steps back, then you keep going. 30 feet from the wolves and

cast a sacred flame on one of them. Alright. steps back, then you keep going. Dirty food from the wolves and cast Sacred Flame on one of them. Alright. That is... They make a saving throw, don't they? Dex. I'm so sorry. They fail the dex saving throw. How much damage is it? 2d6? 2d8. That's pretty good. I'm so sorry.

You down another wolf. Alright. So that's four wolves down, five wolves to go. It's good old Go Gogash's turn. That's a hit. That's a hit. All right, he misses in the third one. Okay, that's okay. It's nearly a critical miss.

Okay. A regular miss will take. Gogash kills two more wolves. So he's just beheading wolf after wolf You ashed one of the wolves Like you did previously So you're down to three wolves All of which attack

Agogash Actually They're just regular wolves Highs or lows? Let's go with highs They attack him That's a hit And that's a hit Let's go with highs. Highs? All right. Yeah, they attack him. Damn it. That's a hit.

That's a hit. And that's a hit. All right. That's, that's, that's. Maybe they're going to roll really low. I'm looking. Adam's going to say, that's a lot of ones. Six. Ten.

That's a lot of ones. Sixteen. Twenty-three. But halved. Halved is 11. But halved. Halved is 11. But halved. Oh, wow. Okay, Gash is on three hit points.

That's... Hector. Um, okay. All righty. Ash another wolf? Uh, how far away? I'm 60 feet. How much do I move in a turn?

30 feet. Uh, yeah, no, I have to Ash. Yep. All right. Another failed saving throw. Okay, that's good. 2d8. That's good I have to ash. Yep. All right. Another failed saving throw. Okay, that's good. 2d8. That's good.

The wolf's ablaze. Maximum damage. You ash another wolf. There's two left. It's a go-gash's turn. Sorry, I'm just apologizing for the petty of this. That's a miss. Oh, fuck.

That's a hit. Okay. That's a hit. Yes. Now, he, on a d12, needs to roll better than a 4 just to outright kill the wolf. Okay. So the first one is, all right, so he doesn't kill. He kills a wolf.

Okay. One wolf left. There's one left. That wolf attacks him. That's a hit. Okay. He can, all right, minimum damage. Yeah.

If I roll, basically, I need to roll less than six. Okay. For a gogash to stay standing. Alright, a gogash goes down. Okay. Alright. Go.

A gogash hits the ground as the wolf tears into him. I have not seen that yet. When the wolf lets go of a go-gash and looks at you, you realize it's doing it with intention. If you've ever fought a wolf before or if you've ever fought an animal before,

an animal will typically fight to protect its territory, maybe for food, for animalistic reasons. They have a baser urge that they are trying to meet, right? When the wolf looks at you, it has let go of a gogash. And you can see that the wolf did not care that a gogash was in its territory, if it was, if you were in its territory. It didn't care to eat a gogash. That's not why it's here.

It didn't even seem too terrified to run, like as its companions were being killed. When the wolf looks at you and you see a very familiar emblem seared into the side of the wolf's face, you realize that there is a malevolence directing the wolf to kill you. The wolf cannot attack you this turn, but it now is next to you as it charges you. Next to me. Okay. And it's your turn. Okay.

Sacred flame. Let's try and burn this wolf to a crisp. It fails the saving throw. Ash the wolf. Dear God, please protect me. Dear God, please protect me. You do not ash the wolf. You hurt the wolf badly, searing all along one side of the wolf.

In the back of your mind, just a little thought pops in. You hope to God this is not your last thought. But a little thought just in the back of your head is like, is this how Boris was made? And then it is the wolf's turn. Okay. Can I? Okay.

All right. The wolf misses turn. Okay. Can I? Okay. Okay. All right. The wolf misses you. Oh, thank God. It's your turn. It does. It's snarling and snapping at both of your legs. You manage to dance your way backwards. Yep.

It's like an old-fashioned gun show or whatever where they're like dancing. It's shooting your fucking mouth. Another word of Radiance? I think it's World of Radiance or Sacred Flame. Sacred Flame, sorry. What about Wolves, Dex, or Con? Look, this would help me out. I'll do Sacred Flame, and I can't back up.

It fails the saving throw. Okay. Surely it's dead. You ash the wall. I run to a Gogash and try to stabilize. He would have gone one turn. Okay. Surely it's dead. You ash the wall. I run to a go gash and try to stabilize. He would have gone one turn. All right. That's good.

All right. You attempt to stabilize. You stabilize a go gash. Okay. All right. I just maybe put him in the recovery position. Very funny. So in old D&D, you as a barbarian, when you rage, you get extra hit points.

Yeah. Which you lose at the end of your rage. So something that would often happen is a barbarian would fall unconscious fighting and then immediately die because they lose those extra hit points, which typically put them into negative so far. Yeah. Which is just a funny thing that used to happen. Yeah. Okay. I'll put a go-gash into sort of like a... A recovery position.

Either drag up against a tree or something like that. A gogash is not easy to move. Maybe I don't. Can I wield his axe? You can lift his axe. Can I wield it, though? It's heavy in your hands, but I will allow you to wield it, yeah.

You've seen him use one hand occasionally. That is not something you can do. Yep, that's fair enough. But you can wield it. Okay, cool, cool, cool. It's something. I'm going to try and gut the wolves. Yeah.

See if they got any like... Oh, you're not going to fucking taunt on it? No, no, no, no, no. I mean, it is pretty cold. But I might have to in a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to gut some wolves and check their treasure pouches.

Clever. So gut the wolves, see if they've been eating some adventures. Oh, you'd butcher it. I want to butcher it. You don't butcher it in the correct way, I guess is what I'm saying. You will not be able to acquire anything of use

from these wolves. I guess you don't really know what you're doing, so you kind of fuck up even getting a pelt from them. I was trying to see if they've eaten an adventurer. Treasure in their belly? Yeah. They do not. Just a regular treasure pouch.

They don't have a treasure platter. They do not have a treasure platter I thought you were joking They do not have a treasure platter That is an insane thing to say Some wolves you kill They've eaten gold Some wolves Hey, back in Arknarth Wolves eat way more gold

Than they do in Barovia As you're doing that Yeah Flip Flip Flip Flip Flip

Flip Flip Flip Flip You are drenched almost immediately. You begin shivering. Barovia, it's like, you know how people will metaphorically say the floodgates open? It actually feels like floodgates have opened.

How big are these wolves? They're wolf-sized, so big enough for you to get in. How big is a gogash? A gogash is too big. A gogash might need two wolves, yeah. Gonna taunt some wolves. All right, you taunt... Well, you've already butchered them pretty badly.

You create the best makeshift shelter you can from wolf. At least on a short rest, i.e. eight hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A gogash could get health back. Yeah, that's true. That's true. You will remain on one hit point. I don't sleep. All right. That's true. You will remain on one hit point. Don't sleep.

What's the point? Highs or lows? Highs. You got a great wild look. Highs? No, I actually meant lows. Alright, it's a light encounter. Okay. What's wrong, Adam? Oh my God.

Three wolves with armored spines. Okay, okey-doke. And hardened snouts make their way out of the bushes and slowly begin circling the three of you. Wolf by howl or by snarl, terrible, terrible fright. If I hears, then there is a regular I do sight. Well, we hear, then there eared. So regular wolves.

Regular dire wolves. Regular dire wolves. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's not so bad. All right. Do I have a... Let me check my equipment.

If you have a torch. Yeah. See if I have a torch. Okay. I immediately... You are... You go first. Oh, I do?

Oh, great. I was just launching in. I immediately, like, maybe... There's three of us here? Yeah. I pull out three torches, and I'm going to use one of my flame breaths to light the three of them. I love you, Jackson. Get a good boy card.

That's worth a good boy card. Actually, Zamit, for taunting, get a good boy card. Hey, I finally got... God, this would have come in handy so many times. Reroll a strike face check. I am so close to having the full set. That's so fucked up. Yes, I light the three torches, and then I'm going to hand them to each of them, and then

gesture out towards the dire wolves. The dire wolves do not want to approach you. They begin, they don't get any closer, but they don't get any further. Eleniel looks at you and says, I've heard such things are possible, but will this keep them at bay forever?

Well, unless anybody shouts or makes any sudden movements, it should, until the fire goes out. Eleniel side-eyes Kribbit, who slowly puts his loot away. Yeah, that's what i was thinking so maybe if we try and angle ourselves to keep them behind us and to just move into the forest all right you begin moving further into the forest peel yeah drip oh my god after the first few hit the ground, Eleniel looks at you. Yeah. And you look at Eleniel, and both of you have spent enough time in Barovia.

She throws the torch and runs. Yeah, I'm going to do the same. It's about to get so wet. Fuck. God damn it. Oh, you are very lucky. You lose the diarist wolves very quickly. I guess in the rain, it's hard to track.

Visibility becomes nothing. Yeah. You can barely hear each other over the torrential downpour. Okay. Cool. All right. Elaniel hugs her cloak in tighter, pulls her hood over her face. Kribbit begins taking his clothes off, neatly folds them up, puts them into his backpack,

puts his backpack on and seems delighted by this. I'll put up a hood as well. Yeah. Okay. It's just woods. Like, what else is like, what's around? Like, is there any little? No, it's just woods it's all just like oh what else is like what's around like is there any little no it's just woods it's just woods until we reach the edge of the world unfortunately because of you running from the diarist wolves you have lost the trail cool beans you noticed as well while you were tracking yeah a go gash quite obviously had been

jumping into the ethereal because you'd lose his footprints, regain them, lose them, regain them. It looks like from when you last encountered the footprints, it looks like the direst wolves had lost track of where Agogash was. Oh, and by the way, it's just Agogash's footprints. That's concerning. But Agogash maybe picked him up, maybe? That's what I got to hope for, anyway. In any case, you can see that the Dyrus wolves fanned out. This would have been not too long ago,

but the Dyrus wolves fanned out and started quite clearly looking in all directions. Presumably, all these wolves are because, in the same way that when you were running from the guards in Valakai, the Dyrus wolves have raised the alarm, if you will, and now this place is just shocker block full of wolves looking for you. Maybe over the downpour

I'll yell like, we're not gonna find them in this. Let's find somewhere we can camp at least. Let's try and get out of the rain. Alright, Eleniel agrees. She thinks that would probably be a clever idea. The two of you begin, well, are you looking for shelter? Yeah. Alright. You begin

looking for shelter, and Eleniel, while you were looking for shelter, constructs some shelter. Breaking some tree branches in such a way, she creates, like, a lean-to. It's not dry, but it is out of the rain. Is it dry enough to start a little fire in?

Between you and Eleniel, you can start a fire. Maybe Eleniel moves over. With your help, you roll a fallen log over to get the dry wood underneath, and you use that to start a little campfire. Hector, you see a light. What kind of light? A red one. That's good, because there was a bad green one earlier, so it's worth checking. I'd like to just be like Sitting upright with like Is there still wolf carcass over me?

Like wearing it as you would the cape But the wolf legs and everything They're still there Um A gogash is still Does it look like a firelight? It's so heavily overcast You can't tell Uh How far away does it look like a firelight? It's so heavily overcast, you can't tell.

How far away does it look? It would probably... No, you can't tell. You just can't tell. I don't want to head towards it, because I don't know then if I can make my way back here. It is the sort of bullshit move... Imagine this.

Imagine you head over to the light, and you see a dire wolf carrying a lantern. That's the sort of shit I would pull. That's classic Adam. I wouldn't trust it, dude. I wouldn't trust it. Maybe I just sit upright, bolt upright, like holding a go-gash's axe and just kind of stare at it

and just wait a little bit. Alright. Nothing happens. It doesn't move. It's quite clearly stationary. Just keep staring at it. Maybe let an hour go by. Maybe I'll let like a little bit in terms of move, it's quite clearly stationary. Just keep staring at it. Maybe let an hour go by. Maybe I'll let like a little bit in terms of if the rain kind of clears out just a little bit. It becomes hail.

Well, jeez. Okay. Alright. Any part of you that is exposed to the elements right now is in pain. I'd say you're not going to take any damage, but you know that if you got out of the wolf, you would start being pelted with hail so hard and so heavy that it could kill you. You would know this is a pip. This is called razor hail. It's not uncommon to Barovia.

Alrighty. Is it a straight shot? What do you mean? To the light? I mean, like, it's a forest, so any direction is straight if you just go straight. I don't want to leave a go, guys. But there's a trail of wolf carcasses. Yeah. It's tricky. How long? How long?

Yes. Great question. Great beginning to a question. How long are wolves intestines? Probably no longer than a person's. That's pretty long. So. How long are wolf intestines?

Can't wait to be put on a list. Yep. Digestive system of a wolf by Christina Zahara. Because I just want to know. Like a fucked up Hansel and Gretel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seven meters. That's not that long.

A human's is five. Oh. Yeah. All right. If I can, we had nine of them. You got nine of them? That's like a 50-foot rope. Some of them have been kind of a little butchered.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then if... What are you trying to do with... You left a Hansel and Gretel with them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then if. What are you trying to do? He wants a Hansel and Gretel with him. Leave a trail of guts. Oh, so you can get back to a go-gash? Yeah. I see.

I see. If I were to tie like a bit of a test line to a go-gash and then like walk towards said light. You're not sure. I would like to let you know, you're not sure how far away from the light you are. Yeah. It's hard to tell distance in the dark rain and stuff. Is there any kind of like pen, is there any kind of like writing equipment that a gogash had?

Great question. Surely he would have had a pen and quill or something. Maybe, I don't know, not necessarily. He does keep calling writing the devil's communication. Imagine if I just suddenly a oh gosh, became really fucking. He's a sort of Luddite. Yeah. He's got like a dragon chest set.

He has a water skin, a torch, a tinderbox, hemp and rope, trail rations, mess kit, javelins, great axes, dragon chest set, his clothes, and a bedroll. Oh, hemp and rope. All right. That's what you put. I'll just look. May I recommend putting him on his bedroll and bedroll. Oh, hemp and rope. All right, that's what you put. I'll just, look. May I recommend putting him on his bedroll and dragging him? Yeah, with the hemp and rope and the bedroll, if I can just construct something,

maybe on a couple of wolf pelts, i.e. bodies. Look, hey, it's raining so heavily, or hailing, I should say, so heavily, that you're like, you try to get the rope thing done and you realize you could spend like an hour trying to do this. But fuck, man, you don't have that time. So in the end, you just grab the bedroll and you start dragging that. Okay. I start dragging a go-gash to this light. Elaniel looks at you, Pip, and says, I think perhaps we should set a watch of some sort.

Some of us should, we should get a watch of some sort some of us should we should get a rest yeah yeah i'm feeling not too bad shockingly so if you want to keep down eleniel eleniel pauses for a second and a lot kind of comes back to her like she realizes who she is trust do i kind of see that on her face yeah i. I'm not going anywhere. Well, I'm aware that you can't leave. She lies down and goes to sleep. Oh, no, wait. She's an elf. Sorry.

She pushes her back up against the tree. She kind of sits cross-legged, crisscross applesauce. She sits cross-legged at the base of the tree. She sits cross-legged at the base of the tree. She puts a hand on each of her knee, closes her eyes, and begins muttering something to herself. If you pay any close attention, it's whatever strange god you've never heard of that she worships. You realize she is recounting a story to that god. And as she does it, you can see beneath her eyelids, her eyes are moving rapidly. Like she's in REM.

I'd like to pull out my fiddle and just very, unless it's annoying everyone else, just very quietly be playing it in the rain. Hector, you hear fiddling. To be continued... scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds Not Ognot, where all our

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