D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #7 The Bellview Family

Episode Date: October 29, 2022

Flipping through book after book in the library, the party try desperately to find any information that might help then in their current and future predicaments. Pip has his first bath in about eleven months and casually betrays the party while Hecktor remembers the time he fought his true enemy: bureaucracy.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated. The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strahd is our jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill the devil Strahd. Lushen tries to force the bow again and says,

Stop bowing. My good friend, I know where we are. We're in Barovia. Oh yes, we're in Barovia. I have spoken with the villagers in Krezik. So you, and you went to attack the werewolves. Gorob punches him in the jaw. Stop.

And says, don't be rude, you little man. Little? We're the same damn size. And it's fucked up for a dwarf to call someone little. Yeah. I mean, like, come on. So I might just think you went to fight the werewolves we got beaten came here and now you are like this yes yes yes says gorob okay well first off let's

get you some pants all right cloven walks over with a pair of pants that look like they they would fit quite well and he says these are the clothes they came with he hands them clothes one hand snatches pants another hand snatches a shirt and they try with one hand to put on pants and a shirt at the same time can i try and calm them down and dress them fair all right you're just weird even in a calmed state you you may be, you're like, you're a new body. You're not sure how to use it right now. Please let me dress you. And Gorob says to Lushen, yes, you fool.

And he gives a little tap. Of course, this man has suggested a very clever thing. Lushen slaps Gorob and says, I was listening, but you are too loud, you barbarian oaf. I like this. Yeah. I can't wait till combat. They get two actions. Well, let's just get you dressed.

I suppose you don't know. What was your gesture to the one who was playing the... Cloven? Yes. What was your name? the one who was playing the... Cloven? Yes. What was your name? I am Cloven. I am the patriarch of the Bellevue family. The abbot, did you know, did he have a study or... I know there's a library around here somewhere of books, of knowledge.

Do you know where that might be or any other thing that might cure werewolfism? It is in a dangerous part of the Abbey. I can take you there, but I do not wish to go in. What is so dangerous about it? You mean it's more than just... Dark spirits. Of course.

Nothing to do with the Abbot? No, they were here before the Abbot, I think. Right, well, so... You are a man of God? Yes, I am, yes. Please help us. Right, well, what?

I want to maybe... It's just like, what do you do? Yeah, what do you do? You came here to save seven kids and you got an entire fucking bellevue just sigh or not even sigh just like of course let me take a sit i want to like inspect what has happened and also get him to tell me what has happened to them and what can i ascertain if i was a if i knew if i was still in in my order back home and I was dealing with the high priest or if I was dealing with the head of the order,

what was it that they would be able to do for these people? Do I know of a spell? Do I know of a thing? Do I know of a, like, well, if I could ever have gotten to this point, sure. But I know right now I'm nowhere near as powerful as enough. I can maybe maybe at a whim cure you of a poison the clergy and candle is very very powerful you are certain that at the height of their power they could perhaps do something about this, but you feel uncertain as to whether or not

if you were to go there now, right now, if somehow a magical portal opened up, you would be uncertain about how much help you could get. Hector, you are standing in Hydale, the capital of Candor.

In Hydale Castle, where the king himself typically resides, there is an entire wing devoted to the clergy. The church within Candor. In Hydele Castle, where the king himself typically resides, there is an entire wing devoted to the clergy. The church within Candor is powerful. It's kind of like an extra arm of any government services is the clergy. Knights of the Cloth are considered equal, if not the same, as Knights of the Crown. You are intermingled with each other as you were once intermingled with Sir Grace, a knight of the crown. The door is heavy and imposing. It is probably designed to be so. The person on the other side is the king priest of your order, like the pope, the highest ranking that there is. You have come because you need help. Fairburn Point will not be an easy fight

for you. One night is not going to be enough. You need the full backing of your order if you are to survive. The doors slowly creak open and the grand oak desk where normally the king priest would sit is instead occupied with a person you do not know. Oh, where is the king priest? Please, come in, he says. Have a seat. Sir Hector, correct? Yes, Sir Hector.

Sir Hector, he starts going through some papers. Sir Hector, beautiful? Yes, Sir Hector. Sir Hector, he starts going through some papers. Sir Hector, the beautiful, is it? Did you come up with the name yourself? Yeah, it was something that the people at the school, I was looking at. I recently killed a dragon. I was wondering, is there a formality of changing that? Or is it just a… That would be a conversation between you and…

Oh, you don't have a clergy, do you? Oh, you don't have – do you – huh. What rank within the church are you? Well, I was a squire for – well, Sir Gregory. And then I was helping out on Sir Grace himself. So I guess I'm the knight. Aaron? Yes.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize that when I took this meeting. That is okay. Is that an apology to himself? Yes. With all the chaos that's been happening recently, I... Sorry, that's not what I asked. The meeting is... Sorry.

Yes, because I went down to Fairburn Point to... You've been to Fairburn Point and back? Oh, then you must not have heard the news. What? There's war on. Where? Blue Beach. They're in full revolt.

The Way of the Blue, the Order of the Blue, they're a conspiracy at best, but they've seized the capital. The Queen herself is their hostage. That is dreadful. The King mobilized all forces possible to head towards Blue Beach. That's why I'm taking this meeting rather than King Priest. Right.

Well, sorry, I was expecting the King Priest. I have some terrible news. Yes? Sorry, no, you go. I'm just a, I'm not even part of the church. I'm just a barrister by trade. Oh, right. Well, you do know of Sir Grace, yes?

Yeah, of course I know Sir Grace. Sir Grace is a companion. Yes, Sir Grace has unfortunately been corrupted, turned by some sort of entity that has been... When did this happen? When we were down in Fairburn Point, when we were rescuing... Well, we were sent there to get a helm, but it turned into more of a rescue mission.

He had been under the sway of some very powerful entity. He starts looking through some papers again. There was a city. Sunsen has been devastated. There was refugees. I'm aware of an awful catastrophe at Sunsen. I was not aware of refugees. That's not in Sir Grace's report.

What do you mean by his report? Well, just basically a day ago, we got a letter from Sir Grace himself. You're saying he's infected? When did this happen? It's been weeks. Weeks. It has been weeks. He was possessing the same thing that was possessing a helm.

According to my documentation here, the Lord of Fairburn Point has requested Sir Grace's assistance. The Lord of Fairburn Point is dead. The Lord of Fairburn Point is dead. That's weird because this seems to be his signature here along with Sir Grace's. Sir Grace is required there for a defensive action. No, no, no. There is a deep rot, a corruption that is underneath Fairburn Point that is spreading. Do you have evidence of this? I have a helm.

A helm who has been delivered safely? Yes. Well, perhaps you should speak with a helm, then see if we can tell you anything. We need the order. Although you might have trouble with that because the king has requested him as well. This is his residence. Look, um...

We need the order. We need the army. I'm sure you do. Don't worry. We will fire the correct paperwork. Sir Grace has been turned. Hector, you're standing once again in St. Markovia's Abbey.

So I'm very sorry, Cloven. Cloven was it? Cloven! Cloven, I'm so sorry. Cloven, um, look, are you in pain? Cloven laughs. He gestures at himself.

Not constant physical pain, but just when I walk or look in a mirror. Of course. Sorry, that was insensitive. I mean, is there anything I can do in terms of like if I were to cure wounds, he's not wounded. No, he's not wounded. You're, well, Pip, actually, you're a little worried.

This isn't shape-changing, but if healing magic were funneled into him, you're afraid of something similar happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd actually be genuinely worried. You don't want it to become separate parts. Yeah. You need to be really careful

with mixing shape-changing and healing magic. Perhaps the abbot could have known how to do something but it's a tricky situation. It's like oh yeah because curing cast like a spell of curing on a werewolf revert them back to their human form It forces them to grow in their

human form. It forces them to grow in their human form It causes them great pain. So look I don't, I would not be comfortable in trying a magical way uh having looked him over and he him maybe telling me what the abbot did did i have i ascertained anything of like what is what is this i understand that it is um uh intervention by a daver but ultimately i'm like yeah but there's some... It sounds like some bastardization of surgery and magic. Whatever it was, Cloven does not understand it fully.

It feels like accidentally reverse engineering a curse is what it feels like. There is nothing I can do but pray for you and hope that we find somebody who might be... Cloven waves a hand. You can see he seems to want to change the subject. That you cannot help him is a painful subject for him I will take you to the library As close as I can get you Right

The library was Full of magical knowledge yes Yeah that's what Supposedly Alright so We've killed the abbot Can't cure the werewolf that way. Maybe didn't want them to.

So this would be probably another last. So did the abbot have any, like, his own personal bedrooms or study or anything of that before we go to the library? The abbot did not need to eat or drink or sleep, so he worked exclusively on his projects. Did he have any books he would refer to, or is it all just him? Cloven thinks about this for a moment and says, No, he would sometimes borrow tomes of knowledge from Strahd Strahd, so I look at Pip I'm downstairs Oh right

I washed my hands of this Oh you left? Yeah, I'm mucking through the devil Okay Fuck yes Fuck yes Well obviously, I don't even need a roll for this You get angel feathers

That seems like a trap hell yeah let's call it 9 doses worth of angel feathers that's pretty good you also get oh you know what you get you rolled pretty well

you get 1 dose of water of the sphinx ooooh where's that? What does that do? Whoa, it's a fungi with a legendary power. Ooh. And... There's a fungus on this angel.

The Water of the Sphinx counts as a fungi, but it's actually... You know how you get tumbleweeds? Imagine a tumbleweed that exists in someone so in there you can see that there is physically a rot you don't think it has anything to do with their mental well you think it's a maybe more of a like as they strayed from the righteous path it physically as an angel it physically affected the rot came after the turn

not the other way around. But water of the sphinx, yeah, is a rot that appears in blood. Cool. I decant some into a little container and That was fun to make up. Yeah, it was cool. And I slotted into my belt somewhere.

So after Cloven, I guess, mentions Strahd I also maybe ask the abbot, was he always? Do you ask about the abbot? No, you don't ask the abbot, obviously. No, I'm asking about the abbot. Yeah, okay. Because the abbot arrived and he was a very charming individual,

and then he just was a crazy, crazy person. Was the abbot always afflicted? At first, he was like that. He was an angel. He tried to help with his magics, but he was limited. He was cut off. Unlimited, he was cut off. Found somehow from maybe Strahd, maybe he always knew,

but he performed his healing in time. The magic, the divine power that this abbot used, could I have sensed or observed anything? like I'm assuming the same thing that happened to me happened to the abbot where they were cut off and maybe cut off either slowly or quite abruptly and then something else replaced their holy divine powers. Angels are

angels contain a spark of the divine. He would not have lost it in time. I mean like he would have lost his ability to speak with his deities's he would not have lost it in time i mean like he would have lost his ability to speak with his deities but he would not have lost that divine spark dave is a kind of like middle management yeah i like that too yeah okay i'm just trying to work out to see you know maybe they they would they withdrew the divine power from their god and they maybe went somewhere else and the closest source was astrad themselves or it's It's less like, so you, clerics and paladins, you're more like a funnel where divine essence is poured through you, if you can understand that.

But an angel is more like taking a pitcher of water and then pouring a glass. Okay, okay. Right. Okay, so I don't suppose you have any idea what corrupted them? You're maybe walking down the stairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hear, like, the tail end of that as, Hector, you hear the crack of ribs being broken open.

Slucking around inside. Yeah, I guess also on that would I think of like burial rites for Daevah what should you do with remains this is all very just like you don't know the gods that this Daevah this literally could be burial rites

you as far as you know yeah just holding a heart turning to look at you I mean it probably isn't it seems unlikely oh Just holding a heart, turning to look at you I mean it probably isn't It might be It seems unlikely I've slopped the heart back in, I don't need that That was just for fun

Having a look Maybe there's something in there, I don't know Actually you know what, yeah fair enough You and Esmeralda are literally like Taking it apart, being like What did happen, is this something that we can diagnose yeah alchemically the answer is no yeah but yeah you yeah maybe you find esmeralda and pip are surgically taking this deva apart okay makes sense an autopsy pretty much yeah

as a as a holy man i'm like i'm also very curious like what turned this individual and how quickly and all that. So yeah, so like, yes, do you know anything perhaps what made them like this towards the end? I'm asking Cloven. Cloven shakes his head. So apparently, did you find anything of note? Wiping the blood

off on my shirt. No, I found some angel feathers and this looks like a fungus, but it's not a fungus. I shaked a little jaw. Probably shouldn't shake it. Whatever happened to turn this daver to what they became is not alchemical in nature. Well, apparently they had conversations with Strahd. Oh.

And perhaps Strahd was the one who gave them the idea. And I kind of, maybe behind Cloven's eyeline, kind of gestured Cloven. A bit rude. But perhaps it gave him the idea of how to help people in a surgical manner. Maybe. I say he's standing up.

But if you want, yeah, I think finding a cure or to help the children from the abbott is a bust perhaps that um library you spoke of esmeralda is a next best yet but apparently it is dangerous is that right dangerous clothes and nods yes full of phantoms this is a very funny thing to say I don't know it's phantoms I was speaking generally it seemed like some kind of ghost possibly demonic shadows

I'm thinking I like look at Esme and like shrug like could be I don't know your guess is as good as mine as for the Deva

I feel like this could very well be chalked up to perhaps not a magical affliction, but affliction of the mind. Yes, perhaps you're right. There are some things in life

that I've realized that I will never get the answer to. And I think perhaps this is one of those. A clamp, a bloody hand on your shoulder. It's hard to be a good man in a bad world, Hector. All right.

This library, could you direct us to it? Cloven takes you back out into that courtyard area. And then is the wailing still happening? Yeah. You can hear them, like, battering on the doors. Do you have a key for her necklace? Oh, actually, while you're probably in the chapel area, Cloven collects from a table a set of keys.

I guess we free the spider, half spider lady? Yeah, Cloven wanders over to her. She looks beseechingly at Cloven, and he says, and then he unlocks her collar she sprints for the well and climbs into it well i guess he had a half spider and she was like maybe i look in you you uh are they you delayed for a, so when you look down, you see nothing. Okay. Maybe it's good to be in the dark if you're half a spider, but spiders don't need to be in the dark.

They wish to leave. Oh, that's fair. There's an exit out. It leads to the lake eventually. A lake? Yeah, Lake Zarevich? They will be free as they wish. What about the people in the, the screaming people in the padlocked rooms?

Cloven gives you as much of a pained expression beyond the one he already has that he can. Of course. And he says, there is no helping them. Too far gone. To surgery. These are the ones who they have had their minds altered. I will look after them as best I can. They are.

He gives like a twisted, sad smile. Family. Of course. Right. Sure. So sorry we weren't here sooner. Well, yes. All right.

Let's head for this library. You head into the north building. This lightless corridor has multiple doors behind which lie creatures that shatter the quiet with their mad cackles and cursed whispers. The stench is overpowering. You can see, so there is, off to your right-hand side, a set of stairs going up. And then, like I said, the corridor with open doorways. And through some of the doorways, you can see more of the Bellevue family muttering or cackling or just wandering about.

A formless kind of, hard to say formless with this, but a mass of limbs rolls and moves itself up and down the corridor. Okay. Is it, I don't even know how you'd ascertain this. All the parts that were taken? I was going to say, is it sentient, sapient? Is it moving with purpose? Oh, yeah, you could not tell that.

It's just a rather writhing mass. Does it seem like it's aggressive at all? It's just moving up and down the corridor. Esmeralda gestures to it, turns to Cloven and says, What is that? Cloven says, What was taken? Oh. Is it, I guess avoid its path it will not attack unless you strike first oh well we'll just avoid it and it is disgusting as cloven leads you through

several of the belvey family stick their heads out the doorways and watch Cloven with curiosity. You see a whole myriad of different disfigured features and misshapen bodies. Cloven puts up one of his hands and in kind of like a calming, like, I got this, don't worry about it gesture, and several of the family members put their heads back into their rooms.

Cloven, I have a quick question for you. The Burgomaster says that some of you, I guess, Kyn, were robbing graves. Was that for the bride? Yes. The abbot needed parts to fuel his creation. I did not appreciate what he was doing with my family,

but they... He had some sway over them. Some of my kin are... He gives like a really sad sigh. He doesn't finish the thought. He just keeps going. He was an angel. You can't be blamed for that.

They have a sort of aura around them that compels some people to do so many different things. He takes you up the stairs. You head about halfway up the stairs before Cloven stops, turns back to you and says, I am fearful to go further. This wing is inhabited by dark spirits. The spirits, are they like shadows? They take the appearance of one's shadow, yes. Thank you, Clairvon.

Every member of my family have had theirs stolen. Their shadows still full on taken. They live up there now. Alright. When we return, where will we find you? I will be in my home. He says, above the chapel.

Oh, where we found you. Do you need anything? I guess not, but I was... So when we leave, what do we... A gogash says, tea. Do you have tea? I can make tea. Yes, tea would be lovely.

But when we leave, what do we tell the Burgomaster of what happened here? Tell him to leave us alone. I will do that. We do not wish to harm anyone. We do not think we will be accepted. But perhaps we will find peace here alone. Yes, perhaps. It's a lovely building.

It is. Pip's distracted. I'm concocting something. Esmeralda maybe mimics your like nodding and half focused attention try and clear some of the dangers I think the graveyard is now WHAT OF US both together

oh right yes sorry quietly until now Gorob and Lushan had been following you but now they both pipe up Gorob speaks I do not wish to be attached to this had been following you, but now they both pipe up. Gorob speaks. I do not wish to be attached to this foul creature for the rest of my life.

Look at him. He's hideous. They look remarkably similar. He's hideous. He's smelly. Well, only one of those afflictions we can probably cure with a bath. The other one, however. You!

Lushen points at you. Accusatory hand. The other hand comes up and tries to drag it away. But he maintains the point on you. You are a man of God! You must write this! I will do my best to try to write this

as well as I can. You need a surgeon, don't you? I... Yes, I am a man of God, but what has happened here is the magics and surgery of a daver, something that is far beyond my own power, but it's far beyond my own sense of understanding. If you would like to accompany us, we can try to find somebody that might be able to help you. But that is all I can promise you. I can't promise to make this better. Lushan stamps his foot, and you realize he actually meant to jump in anger in the spot, but he can only manage stamping his foot.

Lushan calls out, That is simply unacceptable. We must find someone immediately. Esmeralda steps in and says, finally, she's finished her concoction. She turns around and says, I think I know of someone who might be able to help the two of you. There you go. They focus their eyes on her very intently. I would ask that you help us, assist us until we find him. But my mentor, Dr. Rudolf van Richten, is somewhere here in Borovia. I came following him.

He is a famous vampire hunter by trade. But before he became a vampire hunter, he was an accomplished surgeon. I'm sure he could help. Well, Alphachudas. There you go. If that is okay with the two of you? They look at each other. Well, only if this idiot is okay with the two of you? They look at each other. Well, only if this idiot is okay with it.

Well, I'm fine with it, but I don't know why you're calling yourself an idiot. I don't know what you... That's obviously not... They argue for a moment longer until a Gorgash picks them up, gives them a little shake, and says, Be quiet. He puts them both down, and then they look at each other, look at a gorgash, and then they each stick out a hand to shake. Unfortunately, as they have a left and right hand, their hands do not mesh very well, but they try to do the best shake possible.

Good. I guess we can never be stealthy again. Yes, I was just thinking that. That's all right. That's just locked off to us. That's fine. Cloven walks back down the stairs. So long.

I, just to let you know, I've got five arrows of undead bane and radium. So you head to the top of the stairway, and the top of the stairway is a library. There you go. You see there are several shelves filled with reference material on medicine and operations. As soon as you get to this place,

Esmeralda maybe does a quick survey of the area to make sure there's nothing here. But then she lowers her weapons and starts picking at books. She turns back to the four of you now and says, I will scour here for anything of interest. You, unless either of you are aware of the contents, I feel like it takes a certain level of study to understand whether or not one of these books will be helpful. I am happy to just stay here and conduct the search. If you two want to suggest, you can see that there is a door to go onwards. If you wish to continue the search, if you have a problem, just call for me. If you could,

while you're searching for, because you're looking for things about Strahd, yes? I want to find things to help hunt Strahd, yes. Saint Markovia, she opposed Strahd and perhaps got the closest to killing him. If anyone in my research

has ever shown. So perhaps here in this library there is something to help. I guess I will ask you some more questions about Strahd when the timing is not pertinent. While you're searching, could you also look for anything about werewolves and lycanthropes? Certainly, yeah. Those kind of things, thank you.

Of course. All right, well, let's, I guess... You're wishing I brought some chalk. Maybe there's some chalk in this library. I mean, it is a, is there a blackboard or something like that for people to take notes? Eyes or lows? Eyes. No, there's no blackboard here.

Damn it. Maybe it'll be one of the other many menacing shadow varieties and we'll be lucky. Well, I guess we'll head through the next door. We're only here for the library, correct? Yeah. There are supposedly dark spirits here somewhere, so you can investigate that if you wish. I mean...

Maybe I'll help Esme look. Pip, you find it first. You find a... On one of the shelves, you find a book that just says diary and then two sets of dates. It's one of... There's like a whole series that just say diary and then two sets of dates it's one of there's like a whole series that just say

diary and then sets of dates you randomly pick one off the shelf flip it open and as you're flipping through it you realize this is the diary of saint marcovia her her own personal notes about her life and events and stuff like that and maybe you picked off the one that you randomly picked was like one of the last ones. Yeah, sure. You realize this is about the time that Barovia was first plunged into darkness and the troubles started occurring. And you can see Saint Markovia

in her beginning efforts to try and combat Strahd. You can see that she comes up against walls several times again and again and again. She's trying to figure out if he has some special weakness or something like that. And you find out that slowly but surely, you find, or she finds out slowly but surely,

that the land itself appears to be tainted, evil. There's something innate about Barovia itself that is corrupted, and it is corrupted in the same way that Strahd is. You obviously can't read the entire tome, but there is a reference in it somewhere, like in one of the margins of her own

writing, Saint Markovia writes the words Amber Temple, circles them, underlines them. You can see that it is, whatever it is, it is important. It's tricky for Pip. Because Pip doesn't want it to happen again. And he doesn't want to important. It's tricky for Pip. Because Pip doesn't want it to happen again. And he doesn't want to

start it off again. But has anybody noticed that I found it? Esmeralda half glances at you and says, is everything okay? It's nothing. I put the book away. Fuck.

Hector, at that exact moment, a go-gash just coincidentally says something, and you're paying attention to him rather than to Pip. Pip, you put the book back on the shelf. Esmeralda had another tome open. She turns back to it and ignores you. That didn't feel good. Yeah. Fuck that rules. Fuck that rules. turns back to it and ignores you. That didn't feel good. Damn! Fuck that rules.

Oh god. While we're in the library, I'll start looking through tomes as well to see if I can see anything werewolf related. There's nothing werewolf related here. Esmeralda at some point comes over

to interrupt your searching and she says I have searched to the best of my ability myself and Pip both of us were only able to find she holds up a book this information upon the werewolves I do not believe this is the same

pack that we hunt though I think this is a different one would your your friend the doctor be able to help? Absolutely. He is well-versed in fighting all sorts of ghosts and ghoulies. I have some information on where he might be. He might be able to help the children. No, he would be able to help Gorob and Lushan.

I do not know if he can help the children, unfortunately. The closest thing you have for hope here is you said Valachai, yes? There is a church in Valachai, yes.

It's one of the few safe buildings in that particular city. The dead will not touch it. As far as I know, it's one of the few safe buildings in that particular city. The dead will not touch it. As far as I know, it's the only other divine location in Barovia. But it's five days' travel. A Gogosh speaks up. He says, these children, when the full moon rises, they will turn into werewolves. Yes.

And then any chance of healing them is pretty much kaput. Well, I just wonder if perhaps it would be an imposition already to ask this of him, but I feel like maybe Cloven would be somewhat situated to help them. Well, yeah, I was thinking that too, actually, I go, gosh, given the screaming monsters that he has out by the well. It seems awful to suggest, but he has experience in these matters. I mean, yes, but look, we've still got 10 days. Yes, but at the end of those 10 days, if you've not solved the problem, you have seven werewolves.

How about this? We go back. I see if I can take a wagon or something to go to Valakai. I would need a guide. I look at either Pip or Esmeralda, and I will try my best. And if they do not help or they cannot help, then I will come back here. I will travel eastward with you, but I am not the guide of these lands.

I am Vistana, but this place is foreign to me. Well, yes, I will. Do you need Pip? It was the deal. I know. We have not killed all the werewolves yet. And I will happily come back and kill the werewolves for you, Pip, but we have, as you said, a ticking clock.

Maybe like a glance at the book that I just put away. Yes, I can lead you to Valakai, but I probably cannot come within its walls. Best not to ask why. You were a general? Let's just drop the subject and be happy that I've agreed to come along. Hey, you beautiful bastards. We've teamed up with our highly talented artist Nathan Davis to create a D&D-themed clothing and merch store

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what is it? It'll be about 7pm. So, like, the rest of your party, Esmeralda, Agogosh, they both agree that a rest within city walls would be much nicer than the alternative. I do not think we're going to be traveling at night, as you have said. Wonderful. And plus, I need to speak to the Burgomaster to arrange the travel, even if he will let that happen.

Well, that's one less day. All right. We'll go back to Krezik. You walk down the stairs. Cloven appears with several cups of tea, like on a platter. Oh, thank you very much. Maybe I'll lean over to a go-gash and be like, it's going to suck shit. Tea sucks shit in Barofia.

I have found that any tea is good tea when one is far from home. Any tea is good tea when one is far from home. The mere smell and taste of any tea reminds me of better times, he says. And he picks up a- Think that now. I'd suck down the tea a grimace and place it back down in the teacup. Is it okay or is it bad? It's like a bitter herbal tea. Okay.

That sounds much better than I was imagining. It's like a bitter herbal tea. Okay. Better than I'm – that sounds much better than I was imagining. It's eyeball tea. It's piss and butts. These are his intestines. I knew it. Cleven, you have experience of looking after people that have – You can maybe hear the distant howling. We have some children that were bitten by werewolves

that I'm going to try to go and see if we can help them. But if I cannot, is it possible to give them to your care? Cloven thinks about it for a moment, and you can see something's going on in his own brain. And then he turns to you you and for the first time since you've met him, Cloven seems almost hopeful and he says, yes

I think I could help them many of our number as a result of what has happened we are immune to lycanthropy we have I have and we are immune to lycanthropy. We have, I have experience with caging a beast, he says.

And at that, there's like a dark moment for him. Esmerelda, Pip, Esmerelda nudges you and says, I told you. I had no idea. I could see that the children are given a comfortable life here. I suppose as well, I say, the people of Krezik might be better disposed toward you if they know you're looking after their monster babies. He nods. He hadn't considered that.

Right. Sort of a win-win. As if we lose. Well, yes, we'll be back. You head back down to crescent when you as you're walking back down the switchback path you can see that several of the guards quite obviously were waiting down the bottom and are eyeing you as you come back down one of them runs off to the burgermaster's house and by the time you get back down to the bottom the burgermaster and his wife, who you have yet to be introduced to, are down there.

Sort of a 50-50 on this one. What happened? So that adventurer that was here a year ago, he was the abbot, and he'd gone quite insane. I guess some good news is that the grave robbing should stop. We've disposed of the abbot. Were you able to... The burgomaster's wife, you can see now her lip is quivering,

and you can see her eyes are very watery. Were you able to find the parts that they had... the things that they had taken the parts? I remember the rolling ball of arms that was the that was the parts taken from

that was the Bellevue family's leftovers the parts that grave robbed are you know Frankenstein in what's left of a Frankenstein. In a way. Yes, in a way. But not probably

in the way you want. I would say they're largely it's best to leave them where they are. She bursts into tears. The Burj Master puts an arm around her.

Look, do you want the whole truth or would you like us to leave a few things out? I would appreciate I would appreciate you to not mention what happened to the parts if it is not

Of course. Oh wait, have you said parts? Didn't he say parts? If I said parts I misspoke. They would have said bodies. Oh okay. Would you have said parts? No, no, no. Alright, cool. I would appreciate not mentioning the

bodies if it is possible to not. Well, the abbot has been taken care of. His idea of curing people was making some amalgamation of man and beast. That is the Bellevue family. They have been

now, I guess guess cursed and afflicted and all they would like to be is left alone. But the abbot won't trouble you anymore. Unfortunately with that means there is now no potential cure for your children. I guess in the town of Krezik unless you know of... The town is beginning

to crowd out. They've found out that you're back so a lot of the townsfolk are coming back. In these conversations, private situation. Unless you know of any other divine being in this. There is a... There are town clerics within Valachai and the village of Barovia,

but I fear... I fear for the worst for the children. I do not think either cleric is powerful enough to bring them back and if truth is to be heard from the village of Barovia, I do not think the cleric there is in any state

to conduct any rites. Our alternative was the Bellevue family who, you have our word now, are going to be harmless, barely enter the town. They have some experience looking after people who have gone through transformations. We were thinking that the patriarch of the Bellevue family, he deigned to look after them.

Yes. The situation should come to that. Basically, I guess you have two options. One is I, a few of us, will take the children and ride as quick as we can to Valakai to see if they can help us. Otherwise, we need to accept that this affliction will take them. But the, as Pippa said, the patriarch will take them on.

The burgomaster shakes his head slowly. Valakai is not safe. No. You have proven yourselves to be more capable of surviving here than I had expected, but I fear that several children under your care... Well, it is a lot to ask. Between towns, I do not think this is possible.

Perhaps they stay in the abbey then. We will have conversations with their families to make these decisions. Then they're close. You will stay the night within my house. Yes. Come. You are guests. It is impolite to let you stay anywhere else. I've gotten the impression that

the name of Strahd is something that people are like, right? You're not sure. Okay. Okay. Right. I might just kind of err on the side of caution now that we have a crowd around us. I'll just maybe wait until private. The burgomaster's wife cries the entire way back to their house.

Can I ask without her hearing the burgomaster if... The burgomaster is literally like carrying her. There are guards around. You could ask one of them. Maybe I like is was one of their children, the one beaten. The burgomaster and his wife, Anna, they have, they had four children. One by one, this land took them. The most recent one happened about a month ago.

And their body was taken. They weren't using bodies of children to make a Frankenstein. They might have been. Were they? Well, the skin was many different patches. Oh, yeah. Good point. Good point. Good point. All right. Okay. Okay.

You enter the Burgermaster's point. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. You enter the Burgermaster's house. It is nice enough. It's kind of, it's, the Burgermaster's building, the Burgermaster's house is the nicest building here, but that is not saying much. These houses are mostly single room affairs. So the Burgermaster's house is fancy simply for the fact that it has a second story. That's really all that it takes around here. Fancy.

The Burgomaster probably leaves the guards outside. He doesn't think that you're a threat. No, actually, Gorob and Lashan are here. Yeah, some of the guards come here. Gorob and Lashan this entire way have been loudly complaining about anything that they could. Of course.

And probably pretty constantly at each other's throats. A gogosh is standing behind them. And you can see that he, once again, he doesn't mean to be insulting. Of course. No, he never does. He never does. But he keeps two things. He keeps doing two things.

He keeps quietening them. And if you're like, thank you, a gogosh. Or if you give him like a thankful look. He gives you a look that's like, of like, thank you, a go-gosh, or if you give him a thankful look, he gives you a look that's like, of course, I'm the only one here who could do this. That's fine. I mean, look, there's probably some points where I'm like, could you two please be quiet?

And they weren't that quiet, so then a go-gosh comes in, and then of course it's proving his point, and that's fine. In my culture, the tenets of being a father are well, not to say that parents elsewhere are

lesser or anything, but... You wouldn't be saying that. No, I would not. You have your own culture and style. And that's good. Yeah. You try your best. We do our best. We do our darndest, don't we? We just don't quite come up to muster. Once again, they're not. No, I'm not saying that. You try your best. We do our best. We do our darndest, don't we? Yes, I guess. We just don't quite come up to muster.

Once again, they're not. Oh, no, I'm not saying that. You wouldn't be saying that. No, not you. I mean, no. You would never say that, Agumarosh. Once again, they're not children. They're two dwarves, but that's fine. And once again, he keeps not meaning to.

He keeps not meaning to, but he does keep saying things that start a fight between them. He keeps saying meaning to, but he does keep saying things that start a fight between them. He keeps saying things like, well, Lashon, you might be the smarter of the two, but, and then that. That's enough. Don't ever pick one. No, don't do that. Don't pick one? What are you, an idiot?

So anyway, yeah, he stops more fights than he starts, but he does start fights. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, is it technically him balancing it out? He doesn't come up even, so it doesn't matter. Yeah, anyway. So probably some guards come into the Burgomaster's mansion with you as well,

and just loiter around the door. They're just kind of there just for the burgomaster's peace of mind. Yeah, of course. But yeah, you enter into the dining room and some food is brought in for everyone to eat. Anna and the burgomaster are set. It's like a large-ish table. And you can tell that the burgomaster and his wife typically sit next to each other, but not as they're like chairs are touching right now. And they appear to be just quietly eating their meal.

I, before I sit down for the meal, I would like to reach into my backpack and pull out a bar of soap and I would like to go up to the Berger Master and be like, I don't know if this is imposing, but do you have a bath? I haven't been within an urban environment for a very long time.

The Berger Master nods and says, I will have someone throw the bath for you. I appreciate that. Well, I guess before dinner then. They can eat. I'll take a bath. Oh, okay. Well, while everyone else eats,

Pip, you have a solitary bath. I'm clean for the first time in about 11 to 12 months. So while we're eating, so Dimitri, the abbot knew Cloven. He's the patriarch of the... i know of cloven yes yes he mentioned that the abbot had conversations with strad well i guess there's only really two people at the table for this to happen with but the burgomaster and his wife both just stop and they both stare at you very fixedly you hear a clattering sound behind you and you turn around to the entryway where the two guards were standing and you see one of them has dropped his spear.

So I guess that is new information. So I've been led to believe Strahd is the... Strahd was within the walls of Krezak. That is what Cloven was saying. He just takes a deep breath. Then there is no safety. I guess not. I heard a story from a Vistani man when I first arrived here

about a great mage who rose up several years ago or something like that. Yes, he came here briefly to speak with me. He also mentioned of a general Mandarin. I do not know of this. He spoke of insurrection and slaying the devil. But when he says the devil,

Dimitri picks up the salt shaker and throws some salt over his right shoulder. I did not want to endanger my town. I felt that if we joined their uprising, it would, and it did, end in failure, and we would be struck down as the village of Barovia was.

All right, so they operated out of the village of Barovia. For the most part, yes. That is what I am led to believe. And you know nothing else about the uprising? No, I know only Keening, his name was. Something Keening. Was that the only uprising in your memory? Did they come close to?

There have been adventurers, certainly, who have made their way to Castle Ravenloft to slay the, he picks up the salt shaker, the devil. And he throws it over his shoulder again. But I have not heard hide nor hair of any of them again. And but yes, this was the first proper uprising I have heard of. So my companion, he

mentioned when we arrived here that we are trapped here, that there is no leaving this place, and that perhaps the, well, the devil, I grab the salt over my shoulder, is the solution to this problem? I would not know such things. All I know is that the mists

that surround these lands are impossible to anyone but the Vistani. They have some deal with the devil. He throws the salt over his shoulder. They have some deal with the devil. He throws the salt over his shoulder. They have some deal with him where they are allowed to freely come and go from these lands. I think he must have the power to allow people in and out, but he does not allow people out. I must apologize for threatening you earlier.

I was, I guess, caught up in the safety of my politics. It is understandable. I am aware of the burden that sits upon one who takes others' lives into his hands. And I hope you similarly understand that I could not just let anyone into this city. Oh, yes, of course. I have no ill will towards you.

You've done what you would do to protect your people. And I, yes, I guess I just am asking your forgiveness. It was spoken out of anger and, I guess, fear. Sorry for that. This is fine. I wish you to understand that I have no expectation, now that you have come into my city, that you will defeat the werewolves, but you should have no expectation of staying here. I am given to understanding that your friend, the hunter, but not her, the hunter, he wishes to live here.

Yes. hunter but not her the hunter he wishes to live here yes those who come to these lands were not locals thrud finds them eventually and he cannot be here when that happens so even if he was to slay the werewolves he would not be allowed residency here yes no i would have scammed me i would have let him stay a time and i would have let you stay a time, and I would have let you stay a time. But this is no home for you. You must leave eventually. I don't really want to remain in Porovia. I have a lot of unfinished business. But mark my words, we will go back and deal with the werewolf problem as quickly as we can. If you truly care for the children of this city, know that we lose children here.

His wife, quite obviously, is getting like another wave at this. We lose children here every day. It is a common occurrence. And it is only the werewolves or is it? The werewolves hunt them mercilessly, but there are other dangers. None as pressing as the werewolves or is it? The werewolves hunt them mercilessly but there are other dangers. None as pressing as the werewolves though. So tempting to ask those problems but I know I shouldn't.

I know. Finding out now that, I mean I don't know if Pip will ever find out, but that killing the werewolves won't get me residency. He's not doing it. How's my bath? That's nice. It's, once again the Burj Master's manor here is not fancy But there is a bath Oh yeah, that's enough

I've been bathing in lakes Heavenly It's hot water, you know Even if the water was cold but clean, I'd be happy Have you had any experience with the druids of the land? I do not meddle with the druids here. They are dangerous to say. Yes, they stole my horse.

You should be glad that is all they did. And they bought more of my things and bought me here. And they did quite a bit. Plus they ate your horse, I'm right. You don't know where they, I guess, congregate or where they're... The Druids? No, I know nothing of the Druids. No, unfortunately.

Well, is there anybody in this town that perhaps could help me with that particular problem? I've had dealings with the Druids that you might know of. No, my people, they do not speak to the Druids. Even the guards that I send out on patrols, if they encounter druids, then I don't see them again. I know that they work with Strahd. They believe

some strange way. They believe that as he and the lands are tied together, they worship him as a god. Do they draw powers from him? Kind of how, like like say oh that is beyond my knowledge no you don't that is of course i'm just um thank you so much for your hospitality no is anything um you would like to ask us there is not no question i have of you but there is

something i would give you he says when you say you will fight the variableswolves. I believe you. And I know I have said a few times now that I would not give you anything as I do not expect it to return. And two times now you have returned. So perhaps you will return a third time.

Perhaps you will not. I see it either thus. I see it either thus. I see it either as he gets up and he turns around and there's a fireplace in the dining room. Over the fireplace, there is a shield that presumably has the Kreskov family seal, which is a top-down map of the village, like a very simplistic drawing of the village of Kresk simplistic drawing of the village of kresk

and behind the village of kresk you can see that there is like a a candle with a light atop it he takes that shield off from above the mantle and then he brings it back to the table either you will bring this back to me or it will find a fine resting place either way it is just gathering dust upon my mantle he sets it in front of you thank you thank you so much that is

so kind of you I will treat it with the utmost respect it deserves may it protect you better than it did its previous owner he says I don't ask about its previous owner, he says. I don't ask about the previous owner. And still attached. The skeleton hand. The whole body still attached but dead.

Yeah, but crumpled up behind it. Oh my god. Alcove carved above the fireplace just for it. You will have to hold it in a strange manner because you can't get him out. You'll scoop the skeleton like you're carrying him. Yes, thank you. Thank you so much. You now have a proper shield.

Nice. Hell yes. Whatever happened to its previous owner, it presumably didn't happen through the shield. It looks and feels quite sturdy. Excellent news. Good to hear. That rolls. Slowly getting some equipment.

Yeah, slowly working it back. I guess we'll have a pleasant meal. Maybe you have just a bit of a chit-chat. Kind of things a bit low-key. Yeah, I'll return at some point and get a feed. A go-gash at one point while you're having a chat, a go-gash

leans over to Gorob and Lushan and says, you are being very rude. You should step outside. In regards to what? At some point, they're like... Okay, okay. Just out of nowhere? Just like their presence.

You are disgusting to look at. Gorob and Lushan are scared of Ogogash, so they get up and leave. And then as many sheets as can be brought out are brought out and you sleep in the Burj Al-Masjid. There's not enough beds to go around. But you sleep on couches, in armchairs, or just curled up in front of the fire

in the case of Gorob and Lushan. To be continued... That's the word. go to rest. Just search for D&D's for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.