D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia I #9 Into the Belly of the Beast

Episode Date: November 12, 2022

The party try their best to not to become werewolves and debate the ethical issue of killing werewolves after killing a lot of werewolves. Pip sides with the assassin while Hecktor burns with righteous fury.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, fool! They've heard this before! Quiet, you dolt! A Wizard Supreme has many things to tell about this nightmare Barovia! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Wizard Supreme!

In this place, your pointless titles mean nothing! For the only way to escape is to slay Strahd in the manner of a true warrior! Or die in the attempt! Pip, you still have a second grenade and you have a second attack. Yeah, actually, I was just thinking that. I'll lob it again. My second grenade's only radiant damage from memory, though. Dude, where do you lob it?

I'll lob it at the leader again. Once again, you miss. But it does explode nonetheless. That's good. Dealing him another six points of damage. And those other two werewolves another six points of damage. And Hector, you take six points of damage. Easy come, easy go.

My bad. So that's what that feels like. Okay. Weird being on the receiving end of Radiant. Yeah, it's fucked up to hurt an Aesmir with Radiant damage. It's fucked up you're not a Mute to that. That's funny. I've got defenses.

Yeah, you're fair. Fair, fair. Oh, wait, no, I'm resistant. Oh, you are resistant? You take three points of damage. It's nothing. Gorob and Lushen's turn. Gorob starts screaming again,

but then Lushen, with the free hand, grabs his head, turns Gorob to look at Lushen, and Lushen says, You fool! Idiot! You stimpleton! Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb!

He turns around. God, they're so aggressive with one another. Calm down. They need, like, I don't know, some couple therapy. Just something. I mean, you stalk like this, fellas. Yeah.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. When Gorob blows in, Lushen grabs at the blowing in of Gorob's response and then yanks. The weave of magic. Rob's response and then yanks the weave of magic. Gorom nearly vomits, but Lushen has grabbed some weave of magic around where he was breathing in to scream and then hurls that magic at the leader. That kicks ass. What? As it moves through the air, it becomes freezing cold air and then it becomes, it forms into several balls of snow, which explode into the leader.

He takes five points of cold damage. What a shit roll. Then it is the werewolf's turn. How many of us are infected already? God damn it. The werewolf leader spots you, Pip, giving orders, and then he's going to, yeah, he's coming for you. That sucks. Two werewolves atop you, Pip.

Cool. They savage you. You get bit again and again and again. You take 22 points of damage. Yeah, that sounds great. Hector, you get attacked. One of the bites rolls around on

your magical armor and is unable to penetrate, but then the werewolf reaches back, grabs your head, shoves it into the dirt, and for a brief second, the shield takes a moment just to catch up to you, and in that second, the werewolf reaches back, grabs your head, shoves it into the dirt. And for a brief second, the shield takes a moment just to catch up to you. And in that second, the werewolf tears your ear. You take four points of damage. My ear.

Then one of them attacks Esmeralda. Wow, Esmeralda's just a fucking gun. And then finally one attacks Ogogash. Oh, man, Ogogash, no. Ogogash, you know, he deal big, he cop big. Ogogash manages to get his hand into the werewolf's mouth. The werewolf bites down. Yeah, okay, well.

I mean, like, you know. Okay. Like, maybe he doesn't, or he said he fought werecrete. Look, you know, you just. Didn't he say he fought, like, were-walruses or some shit? Yeah, were-rocks. Were-rocks. Yeah, it's probably completely different.

Fair enough. That's fucked up. Imagine getting bit by a were-rock and being like, I'm going to become a rock at the full moon. Fucking hell. That is the werewolf's turn. It is Esmeralda's turn. Esmeralda whips out the concoction she made.

She's made it onto a handkerchief. She takes her rapier, puts it in the handkerchief, and then drags, closing her hand around that rapier with the handkerchief, she drags it along, and you can see it spark and fizzle as she's imbuing her weapon with energy. She lunges forwards with the rapier, and she's going to attack the one that she's fighting The werewolf takes 10 points of damage

Shit yeah And then it explodes Shit yeah Alright The werewolf takes a further 24 points of damage As its chest nearly explodes outwards Fucking hell It is Hector, your turn

Alright, so a bit of a sitrep So we've killed how many werewolves? Zero Okay, interesting I haven't killed any of you yet That's true, I've noticed that So I've won fighting me I would like to grab my hands

And put it on his Not near his face actually And channel all my Leon hands You bring your hands up to try and touch the werewolf. The werewolf grabs your hands and pins them to the side, unfortunately. Do you only have one attack? I got two attacks. You can make a second attempt.

I'll make a second attempt. The werewolf is just so much stronger than you. You try to move your hands, but it's just got you pinned to the ground. The werewolf grins. A big, mean grin, and then Pyrrhon stabs it in the back of the ground. The werewolf grins. A big, mean grin. And then Piran stabs it in the back of the head. Piran deals another 20 points of damage to that werewolf.

As a bonus, is anyone doing in dire straits, or is it just me? You look to be doing pretty poorly. Pip isn't doing great. Pip has two werewolves. I am being savage. Can I, as a bonus action, cast Sanctuary on him? Sure. And a Gogash. A Gogash

is screaming in pain, but he starts forcing his hand further down the werewolf's throat. Hell yeah. The werewolf starts squirming in his grasp. That werewolf is trying. Hell yeah. The werewolf starts squirming in his grasp. That werewolf is trying to escape right now. Fuck yes.

And it's Pip, your turn. Do I think my enervating breath would damage these creatures? What damage type does it do? Sorry, it just incapacitates them. It would probably work, yeah. Okay, well, considering I need to hit multiple people. I might have called out when I cast the Sanctuary. It's like, they will have a hard time to hit you,

but if you attack them, that breaks. You feel holy, Pip. You feel, for the first time in your life, you feel a connection to a deity. It's a very strange sensation. I don't want to waste this connection, but also I do need to deal damage. I don't know what else I'd be doing.

Oh, you've got to make something else? I don't know. Oh, actually, true. That's not a bad idea. Hey, with shambling moss, which is gripping, can I attach that to my arrows? Am I stupid? No, that's how it works. Yeah, okay. No, I'm? No, that's how it works.

I'm stupid because I didn't use it earlier. Alright, well then I'll use this moment to combine wolfsbane, shambling moss, and let's call it another angel feather and dip my arrows into it to get five wolfsbane arrows. Correct, you've got five wolfsbane arrows. It's Gorob and Lushen's turn.

Gorob really has no recourse here. He can't do much. Oh, wait. Can he? I don't know. No, he can't. Can I have kicked the silver spear to him at any point? It would have probably been

No, you could have done that, sure. Gorob looks at you lamely. You see him gesture the spear, and then his mouth, it's like in slow motion, you dropped that. And then Lushen slaps him in the face and says, Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! Okay, okay, okay.

He's just like pupils dilating, just like the size of dinner. Like, don't you fucking idiot. Gorob picks up the spear and then lunges at the leader with it. Nice. Critical hit. Hell yes. Gorob spears the leader straight through the heart.

They take 10 points of damage. And you see that the leader, as the spear, as Gaurav is standing there a little bit dumbfounded, and Lushen screams into his ear, Pull it out! Pull it out!

He drags it out, and then the werewolf starts bleeding heavily from its abdomen. You can see that the lead werewolf staggers a little bit, clutches at his chest, and starts... As he does that, you can see that the lead werewolf staggers a little bit clutches at his chest and starts as he does that you can hear air mixing with blood then loshen creates with his hand he's

manipulating it you see a skeletal hand up here next to the leader and wrap around his neck around where the the skeletal hand is grabbing, you can see that the flesh there begins decaying as if it were dead. And it's the werewolf's turn. Okay. The leader turns around on Gorob Lushen and both of them in unison say,

Oh no! The leader lunges at them. If one gets bitten and turned, do they both turn? Oh, no. The alternative is very upsetting to imagine. There's one werewolf trying to fight a gogash. Well, that one isn't trying to find a gogash. It actually tries to run.

Yeah, fair enough. Well, it doesn't try to run. It turns tail, scrambles out of a gogash's reach, and then just starts sprinting away. There's one fighting you, Pip. As you're creating the alchemical reagent, you can feel, as I said, that connection to the god. You feel like a loving presence.

You have flashbacks to maybe your time as a child and tender moments shared very early, very early in your development with your brothers at a monastery. You feel like a sense of serenity settling upon you like a cloak. It's like armor, like armor that you can feel. And then as the werewolf's bite lunges towards you, you think for a moment, no, I'm safe. Its teeth sink into your neck and suddenly you don't feel it in your neck. You feel a wrapping of a switch upon your knuckles.

A punishment dealt out because you didn't say thank you. It did nothing, I say. It did nothing. The werewolf's still biting me. You fucked me. You fucked me. You fucked me, Hector. There's one fighting Esmeralda. Oh, Esmeralda finally gets bit.

I thought that would work. It was... Esmeralda takes 11 points of damage and needs to make two saving throws. Sorry. We have not done well. It's fine. Hector, it's...

Oh, no, sorry. And then... Have you been attacked? No. Not yet. Yeah, you get attacked. Okay, Hector, good news, bad news. Which would you like first?

Let's say the bad news. The bad news is you're not casting spells anymore. The werewolf lunges at your throat and tears it out. Nah, look, I'm a cashiness good boy, Adam. He just misses me. He just misses me. He just misses me. All right.

Well, it's not a critical hit anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Fair enough. Yeah, he's gone. Probably the time misses me. All right. Well, it's not a crinkle head anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. He's gone. Perfect time for it. All right.

Well, that was the werewolf's turn. Excellent news. It's Esmeralda's turn. Esmeralda, she looks at the bloody gash on her arm now. She looks back at the werewolf thing. She, with a scream, lunges forwards and stabs the werewolf again in the chest. A good hit. She takes a step backwards as the werewolf looks at their vibrating chest, and you hear them say,

No, frr! The werewolf explodes again. Okay, that's good. That's good. Surely you can't explode twice and survive. And yet... It looks like you can't explode twice and survive. And yet. It looks like you can't explode twice. That might be the hard limit on exploding.

I knew that saying held true. One of the werewolves dies. Hey. Hey, five to go. One dead. Two sprinted off. Yeah, that's true. Two fled.

And then a bunch left. Yeah, that's good. It's good stuff. And Hector, it's your turn. So he's still got my buddy arms? Yeah. He's still holding your arms. I want to headbutt him. Hell yeah. And I want to follow up with a touch attack of

healing him. You try to headbutt him, but you more like nearly kiss him. You You try to headbutt him, but you more like nearly kiss him. You are so distracted by nearly kissing the werewolf that you spend 12 of your 30 hit points, you spend healing the soil beneath you. Flowers and stuff erupt out of where his hands were. Yeah, healing energy erupts, and it targets the earth instead of the werewolf.

That's good stuff. Then it is Pyrrhon's turn. Good job. Just keep him busy. It says Pyrrhon. You're doing well. Lips like onto his lips. Sorry, I got confused.

You taste your blood It's bad No That's unpleasant I think the muzzle is closer than it is And then just like stopping But then the momentum slightly following through And then like lips landing on it And then instinct kissing in

Oh Whoops Pyrrhon's current attack unfortunately oh actually no he can't damn it uh pyrrhon unfortunately yeah unfortunately pyrrhon is unable to kill the werewolf but you can see that this werewolf from pyrrhon's latest attack he's he's just been he's just had you realize now what's happening. Piran is straddling, is sitting on the werewolf like it was a horse. And he has his dagger in the back of the base of its neck. And he's just working it around like he's stirring a stew.

It's churning butter. The werewolf jerks once and you see one of its arms goes limp. And you could tell that the werewolf, like Piran has fucked up something in its spinal column, and now the werewolf is kind of, like, twitching and jerking a little bit. The werewolf is probably looking to flee on its next turn. Yeah, fair enough. Well, that's nice. It's a gogash's turn. A gogash smears the ointment on a javelin, and then hefting it, throws it after the fleeing werewolf.

He hits. a javelin and then hefting it throws it after the fleeing werewolf he hits the werewolf takes a bit of damage oh go gosh yeah he kills one of the werewolves good to hear useless well you

it's just been bad luck all of your healing moves would have been sick It's Pip, your turn Okay, I would like to use my wolfsbane arrows And I would like to fire two shots into the werewolf The leader's still alive, aren't they? I'd like to fire two shots into the leader Your first shot misses, unfortunately.

Can I make it a precise shot? Yes. What does that do? Gives me advantage. Oh, okay. Unfortunately, it's still a miss. Your second shot, however, is a hit. I'll take it.

Oh, fuck. Nice roll. You deal 10, 20, 31 points of damage. Oh, yes. They're dead. Yes, they're dead. Wow, they're dead. Oh boy, you did not need that. Waste, really? Yeah, it really was.

You do just shoot that werewolf in the chest and then you see it hums like it did for Esmeralda and then it explodes his back nearly completely out. The werewolf falls, topples over into two distinct chunks. That was Pip, your turn. It's Gorob and Lushen's turn. They both nod and in unison say, Let's return the favor!

And they charge the werewolf that is attacking you, Pip. Thank you. Miss with the spear. Miss with the necrotic hand. Give us a moment. Nice try. It is the werewolf's turn. As the leader falls to the ground, one of the werewolves issues a howl,

and the three remaining two, sorry, remaining werewolves turn and flee. Whoa, Pyrrhon falls off. As Merelda chuckles to herself, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She fires a magic missile, a supercharged one. The one Hector that you were fighting, she brings that one down. But there is now one more fleeing werewolf, the one that was fighting you, Pip. She fires another three magical bolts at that one. And all three of them obviously hit.

The magic missiles unerringly track their way to their target, and poof, poof, poof! She deals 11 points of damage to that one, but that is not enough to bring it down. It is bloodied, though. Alright, okay, that's something. Hector, it's 40 feet from you. I'll cast Sacred

Flame. Makes a saving throw, fails, it takes a d8 damage, I believe. Sorry, 2D8. 2D8. Nice. Well, that means you should have done 2D6 earlier. It should have been, yes. Oh, well.

Well. Having it off, though. Yeah. I didn't read it right. Stupid. An extra 10 points of damage. Hey. And then I'll like to start chasing it.

You sprint after it, but you're 10 points behind it, unfortunately. Then it is Piran's turn. Piran's pretty quick. Okay. And then I'll like to start chasing it. You sprint after it, but you're 10 feet behind it, unfortunately. Then it is Piran's turn. Piran's pretty quick. He's got that rogue double dash thing. And he stabs at it with his dagger. Back! Enough!

He says, stop! He hits and deals seven points of damage. So tantalizingly close. But unfortunately, the werewolf is still alive. And a gogash. It's a gogash's turn. Oh, he just ointments another chavelin. A gogash looks at you, Pip, and says, how important is this? I think getting them all is probably pretty useful,

but I feel like I could probably hit them with my arrows from here. All right. Don't waste an ointment. Agogash just sprints and tackles the werewolf. He's quite quick as well. He sprints and slams into the werewolf. Oh, okay. That works too.

Agogash and the werewolf roll around and then come back up to a standing position. Agogash is holding it up right in front of him. He's got it in kind of like an arm lock, like a sleeper hold, basically. The werewolf is thrashing, scrambling, not wanting to be held. And Agogash calls out, is this close enough to hit? It's your turn. I give a thumbs up.

And then I'll... You get advantage because the werewolf can't dodge. Oh, imagine if you missed. That would be so funny. You hit with the first bolt. You've still got any other bolts you might have. Yeah, no. Oh, great.

Fantastic. The first bolt is enough. It didn't have much hit points left. Go, go, go, go, go. All right. One escaped, but the leader, you assume, and four others are dead. That means it's basically only like one or two

left in the woods. It'd be like literally a handful, yeah. Do I think that... Certainly less than five, but you don't know exact numbers is all. I don't know if I've got to still track down those ones or if that's enough to convince Krasik that I did the job well done. Well, there are

five other people here. We're going to be hunting the rest down. Okay, good, good, good. Right, so that is five dead? Yes, five dead. I think five dead. I count five bodies. Esmeralda nods that this is five.

I would say that there could be anywhere from two to five more, probably on the lower end, though. Okay. I know getting bitten by a the lower end, though. Okay. I know getting bitten by a were-rat is bad. Yes. I'd like to take out some... Esmeralda's already mixing some potions for some reason. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Cool, cool, cool. I'd like to take out some wolfsbane, and I'd just like to place it on everyone's skin. Just to check. You place it near wounds, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Every single one of you.

Except Piran, who did not get bit yeah all all of gogash goroblushan you esmeralda and hector all of you have been cursed with lycanthropy well um i do that thing where i stressfully rub my snout uh Well, we've got it early. That's what it means. It means we've got it early. Esmeralda, are you whipping up something? She brings up like a little vial of some liquid up to the light and just starts swirling it around. I will have something hopefully in a moment.

Okay. Well, I think because we've got it early, we're not going to need another magic lake. I think that hopefully will be enough. Within the first hour, it is relatively easy to cure. Okay. While you're doing that, I look at the… Won't even need to lose a limb, she says.

She gestures to her metal leg. Ah, small miracles. Right. It is good to see. I look at the… I'm assuming you got bitten in the back of the neck. Very happy that I'm not losing a limb. Oh, just like a puppy.

Carried away. People didn't see it, but Jackson did a little miming running on four legs. It was funny. Just galloping like a little asmere, tucking his feet up so he's all hunched. Oh, no. Esmeralda, it takes her a try. She fucks it up the first time. Kind of fucks it up. But within

I'd say, like, five, ten minutes, she's got enough doses that all of you are cured of, like, anthropic. It's good to heal. It doesn't cause any healing. It just removes the disease. It actually stings quite a lot. It's basically a medieval equivalent of betadine.

Or an antiseptic, basically. You all stink of alcohol as well. What about you drugs back at the crescent? You went to kill the werewolves. You've been hammered in the woods. In fact, actually, probably as she douses each of your wounds with this little

alcoholic mixture, she's got like a wine flask. She drinks deeply from it and she passes it around. I'll drink from it. I'll take a little sip. It's strong. Yeah, I sip. It's not Grugrog's best strong, but it's strong.

While she was making that, I go and go through the werewolves, see what they had on them. Any of them have any like medallions again or any sort of like. It's good to imagine as you're like going through their pockets, like camera pans up to Pip opening up the guts of one and reaching inside. I figured you'd be like, you're grabbing werewolf innards. Yeah, yeah. Whatever guts they got. You got guts, I'll take them. Is it because they're werewolves or is guts just good?

Shockingly, well, guts aren't good by default, but shockingly, inside monsters, you often find parts from other monsters. Oh. Well, a lot of these things, I'm not explaining it to you, but not all of these are animal parts. Some of them are like plants or funguses that will grow on or near or around or be a function of.

Like, for example, wolfsbane, which you collect only a dose of, grows in dirt that has been bloodied by a werewolf. Oh, that's cool. So you start searching around the battlefield, and you can see, sure enough, a little green plant that has almost immediately sprouted out of the dirt. Presumably a wolfsane seed was just sitting there, and as soon as blood touched it,

the plant immediately sprouted out. Hell yeah. And then you'd also get things like, well, you open them up, and you indeed take their diarist wolf heart. All wolves have a chance to have a, what's called a diarist wolf heart. You get, oh, only one.

Wow, you're really cocking this up. I'm sorry. You only got one diarist wolf heart, you get only one. Wow, you're really cocking this up. I'm sorry. You only get one diarist wolf heart, but then you also might find a fungus, which, for example, something like water of the Sphinx, which you don't find here, but it does grow in the veins of magical creatures.

But you do find shambling moss, which has grown on a few of them. You find seven doses of Shambling Moss. Jesus Christ, that's going to be very useful. And then you find two doses of Flump Spores. Oh, cool. Yeah, I assume stuff like Flump Spores, obviously there will be spores from a flump,

but also it's just sort of like... It just means that they maybe have encountered a flump and the flump has left spores, and because of their magical nature, the spores from a flump but also it's just sort of well it just means that they maybe have encountered a flump and the flump has yeah left spores and because of their magical nature the spores just don't disperse well it's like how a virus can survive in water yeah yeah they need a magical source to stay active with a comb combing the flump spores out of their fur well into a little vial yeah yeah anyway hector you you take one look at the werewolves and you're like, well, they're now, they've shifted back to human form. But you see five naked bodies. And you think to yourself, well, what am I going to loot from this?

I was just wondering if they have those medallions as well. No, they didn't. Oh, you're right, actually. The lead werewolf did have that medallion around his neck. Okay, I just want to grab it. Is it exactly the same, or is it a little bit more ornate than the one we had before? It's a lot less ornate. This one probably looks like it was made by a shabby worksman.

Yeah, it seems more slapdash than the previous one. I'll burn it with sacred flame in my hand. Okay. Well, none of us are infected anymore. That's good it with Sacred Flame in my hand. Oh, nice. Well, none of us are infected anymore. That's good. But all of us are pretty fucked up. Who's looking the most damaged? Gurgash is probably the most wounded.

Oh, and Pip. Pip is the most wounded. I'll heal Pip for 24. Is that good? Yeah, that doesn't bring it up to full, but it does help. I'll place my hands on him. Heal Pip for 24. Is that good? Yeah. That doesn't bring it up to full, but it does help. I'll place my hands on him. Just hang on.

Wait one moment. And I'll lay of hands as well as healing hands you. Thank you. And Agogash, how are you? Give him a look of up and down. Agogash shrugs. There's maybe some blood on his chin. He, with his thumb, pushes the blood into his mouth Tastes it for a moment and says

That was not mine It's hard for a dragonborn to look disgusted But I am Esmeralda hands him for a second time the wineskin And he drinks greedily from it Pyrrhon is perhaps the for a second time the wineskin and he drinks greedily from it. Piran is perhaps the only person who refused the wineskin. Before we head off into the woods, I want to make a potion. I'm going to combine some lichen hide for resistance to damage with...

That's kind of all I want. I just want resistance to damage. Well, you could just make the other... Well, you need to add one other reagent. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm thinking. But you can make the third one water. Yeah, I'll make the third one water yeah i'll make the third one water i'll go lycan hide radiant feather and water i mean uh sorry raven raven feather raven feather

for radiant damage okay well you create a potion yeah just want some resistance to damage unfortunately well you know you would know this. The potion that you've created is not very potent. Yeah, well, that's because of the water, yeah? Well, yeah, because of the water and also you rolled kind of poorly. It's only going to last you for two rounds. And I won't drink it now. Clever.

Gagash, can you track the werewolves that ran away? Yep, emasculated, says nothing. I didn't even pick up on that. That's funny. I'll say to Gorob, you can keep the spear for now. Gorob nods, and he's about to say thank you when Lushen interrupts, say thank you! Gorob and Lushen engage in an argument again.

You're welcome. I wonder how we were found by the werewolf. Esmeralda puts a hand, Pip, on your shoulder. She puts a hand, Hector, on your shoulder. She looks at Gogash in the face and says, Gogash, would you like to track, please? Gogash picks up the trail. Of course he does.

Of course he does, yeah. Well, because again, Agogash is currently very busy tracking. I might take it on my responsibility to talk to Lushen and Gorob and be like, could you, I understand,

right now, you want to kill the werewolves that have, I need both of you, both of you, to be as quiet as a church mouse. Please. Hector, unfortunately, you said the magic word. Lushen turns to Gorob and says, Did you hear him? He needs us to be quiet.

He needs you to be quiet. No, I said both. I said both of you. You hear him? He's saying you're the loud one. No, you're the loud one. No, you're the loud one. If you could hear both of you right now.

I think it's working, Kik. You're both the loud one. If you could just please. I think they're quieting down. Well, they do get a little quiet when they begin trying to throttle each other again. Is it worth it? Will you go ahead? I don't...

It's like tapping my forehead. You've got a muzzle. Maybe that would work. Two muzzles, sorry. I point to Lushen, but then he is next to useless. Yeah, oh. I guess

I keep trying until it is futile. Alright, you manage to quiet them down. You work out some specific series of words where you trick them. Maybe you're like, you challenge them to a series of words where you trick them. Maybe you're like you challenge them to a

game of who can be quietest the longest. As much as both of your voices are beautiful, I don't need to hear them. You hear that? Your voice is disgusting! He hates your voice! How about instead? It takes a while.

But you manage to figure it out. By the time you've figured it out, though, you emerge once again at the werewolf den. This is where Agogash has tracked the werewolf. Okay, so they've headed back inside, I'm assuming. Agogash nods. Fled. Well, we have them cornered. Strike where the iron's hot.

Agogash nods. I agree with this sentiment. Esmeralda doesn't say anything. She just starts walking very bold as brass. Starts walking through the clearing towards the entrance. Okay. I'll stay at the back just to play defense basically. Just in case

there's an ambush waiting for us. Ambush twice in one day. I guess I want to start assessing the opening of the cave. Maybe I can also look at the footprints. But then if I'm seeing Esmeralda just kind of burst in, it's like, hey, there you go. I'll be out of heels.

You go through the entrance. Esmeralda slows down, and Hector, you nearly bump into her. I would assume that they took the left path to go deeper in but perhaps we should also break off to the right to maybe we can come at this from two angles or something don't mind wading through a lake i say a gogash puts his hand up yeah they were sarcastic it's easy to wade through a lake a gogash leans in to you two pip and hector and he's actually no and esmeralda the three of you yeah he leans into you two, Pip and Hector. Actually, no, Esmeralda, the three of you. He leans into the three of you and says,

I think it would be clever if I took Gorob and Lushund. I am humbly the poorest stealther within this party. And aside from that, perhaps we can form a distraction of shorts. We'll take the left path. We will take the right path, and I will just let them do what they do. I beware. I am out of my restorative ointment. Do you have a tincture or something that I might use?

I will make a concoction for him here out of an angel feather. I know, a wolf spade. And some shumbling moss, why not? You do a decent job. He coats his sword in it, and then it gives him five attacks. Yep. All right.

We, well, I was about to say, if you hear a loud noise, he shrugs. If you hear not a loud noise, I suppose that's us fighting. That's more worrying, yes. All right. Good luck to you all. Likewise. And to you.

All right. They take the right path. You take the left. You head into the wolf den area. You see the many corpses of the wolves that you killed previously. They're still here. You can see that they've been dragged aside and you can tell that someone has been through here not just the the terrified werewolf yeah okay

you move upwards and into that large open space that's got columns of stone all not proper columns but like yeah where the rocks are yeah yeah where the stalactites and the stalagmites meet, basically. It, as previously, forms like a network, a maze, a honeycombed maze before you. You can go north. You can go west. You can go east. From the easternly direction, you can hear the sounds of an argument. Can I try and discern any other sounds underneath that argument?

It's hard. Yeah. But you can. To the west, you can hear quieter noises talking. I silently point in that direction. Esmeralda probably mimics your gesture, and the four of you head in that direction. Okay.

This area is kind of like a living quarters. You see, though, it's not living quarters for the community. It's living quarters for two. There is a cot big enough for two to comfortably sleep in, kind of like king-sized bed almost, but just a pile of soft hay and stuff. Strewn around the place, there are the basic affects of a bedroom,

things like a place where you might store clothing, a place where you might... You can see there's like a dresser. Part of a vanity, things like a place where you might store clothing, a place where you might... You can see there's like a dresser. Part of a vanity, mirror included, has been dragged up against one of the walls. And you can see a slapdash attempt at makeup and jewelry has been laid out here. How strange is this to find?

It's... Well, werewolves are still people. Yeah, okay, okay. Cool, cool, cool. If you were thinking, oh, werewolfves are still people Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool If you were thinking, oh, werewolf king and queen Yeah, okay This is kind of like the dwelling you would expect Cool, cool, cool

In addition, there are bones strewn all over the place But they're not haphazardly just thrown about You can see that they are piled into formats and forms And several of them have that little wolf head pendant on them They're obviously like little holy shrines just dotted around there are two people in this room one in a humanoid form one of them a werewolf the werewolf that you lost before they were talking but as you enter this space the werewolf turns to face you and the woman behind him snarls at you. You ma!

And then she begins transforming into a werewolf. Let's go to initiative. That was kind of like a growl as she transformed. Sorry, I guess I didn't get that across properly. As we were walking in, could I have cast a magical weapon on my I'm going to go with the mace I got off the angel.

Sure, yeah. And I'll gook go, gook down my potion. Pip, you're first. All right. Do you feel the resistance flow into you? You are resistant to mundane melee attacks. Yeah, no worries. Piercing, slashing, which includes the werewolf attacks.

But you are additionally, you added wolfsbane, right? Oh, no, sorry. I added like a raven feather. Yeah, sorry, raven feather. That's radiant damage? Yeah. So in addition to to that you deal a d8 damage anytime they hit you fuck yeah that rules all right i will immediately drop to one knee and fire a defensive shot and then a regular shot of my wolfsbane arrows at the queen your defensive shot hits your regular shot misses oh well say lovey she has disadvantage on attacks against you, though.

The shot that goes wide, the other werewolf steps in front of the ball and snaps at it in the air, knocking it to the ground. Shit. Then it's Piran's turn. Piran looks at you, Hector, and delays his turn until after you. That make sense? It's your turn, Hector. Oh, right. Sorry, no, I wasn't clear with that. That's not on you. That's funny because it had like Piran was saying sense? It's your turn, Hector. Oh, right. Sorry, no,

I wasn't clear with that. That's not on you. That's funny because it had like Purin was saying it. It's your turn, Hector. After you. Okay, I will. I will.

Cure wounds is a touch. Get in there, baby. Get in where the getting's good. Get stuck in. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. I will cast Radiant Soul, and then I will ready my shield. And can I get into a move forward, but in a defensive stance? Are you moving right up next to one of them?

Yeah, because I want them to get past me. But I want to try and take a defensive action. Is that a fifth ed thing at all? Have you used your action? Yeah. It's an action. Is that a fifth ed thing at all? Have you used your action? Um, yeah. It's an action. Yeah. I'm sorry.

I'll raise my shield. Yeah, I'm sorry as well. Yeah. Maybe I'll hover a bit, look intimidating a bit, imposing. Two angelic wings emerge from your back. Cool. Two angelic wings emerge from your backside. Ooh, hovering from my ass. Cool. Two angelic wings emerge from your backside. Ooh!

Hovering from my ass. Ass wings. Two angelic wings sprout from your back. You don't so much as walk or glide as you more like leap gracefully forwards landing gently in front of the first werewolf. It snarls at you and you raise your

shield ready for honorable combat and then the werewolf smile gets a little too big as pyrrhon darts in next to you and slashes at his throat hell yeah yeah pyrrhon strikes the only unfair fight is one that you lose he says agreed and i was looking at my own handwriting i I was about to say, Quekkan. Who's Quekkan? Queen. I see, I see, I see, I see. She's going to attack Piran.

Ah! Piran hides behind you, Hector. Oh, you're giving the queen advantage. What are you doing? It's Esmeralda's turn. Esmeralda, at some point, she has also created an alchemical ingredient. She withdraws a little aquamarine, and you can hear it humming loudly. She locks it in her arm and throws it.

It strikes the queen dead center of her chest, exploding. Hector, have you taken any damage? Yeah, actually, a little bit. You recover nine hit points. That's an awesome benefit of fighting werewolves with healing magic. Or the AOE. Yeah, the AO... H? H, yeah.

It's out of effect, H. Well, AOE, yeah. It's still in effect, I guess. Yeah, it's still an effect Alright So that was Esmeralda's turn Oh she also charges forward So that she's Esmeralda, Pyrrhon in the middle

Hector on the other side And then it is The regular werewolf's turn Hector it's going to attack you It bites you twice Aww I was ready for honorable combat the werewolf's turn. Hector, it's going to attack you. It bites you twice. I was ready for honorable combat. What do you mean?

You take 14 points and die. I don't know if I honorably in this cave anymore. Remember the good old days? You'd be like, put up your dukes. I will fire my last two wolfsbane

arrows at the queen. And I'll make one of them a precise shot. Pip, as the only one not in melee range right now, you can hear in the distance further sounds of combat. You can tell that a gogash and gora blushen have engaged in a separate fight.

Well, hopefully. Good luck to them. You hit twice. Fuck yeah. Your first bolt strikes her. Your second bolt strikes her. She staggers backwards from both attacks, and this might be her. 30 points of damage. Good job.

She's still standing, but she is heavily bloodied. Krasak, here I come. Oh, boy. Oh, no. And then it is Hector, your turn. I will attack twice with my holy weapon now. Attack the one that beat me. Oh, critical hit.

Fuck yes. Similar to a go-gash before, break the wolf's jaw. It can no longer, it's still got its claws, but it can no longer bite, and you deal 16 points of damage. One, like, mace down,

and then the backswing. And that was... Angel with a mace is badass. I'm into it. It's very Days of... What's the end of the Bible? Days of Thunder, And that was... Angel with a Mace is badass. I'm into it. It's very Days of... What's the end of the Bible? Days of Thunder, the Tom Cruise movie? No, what's the last book in the Bible?

Days of Revelations. Revelations! It's very Revelations. I love it. The werewolf staggers backwards, and it's about to lunge at you with its broken jaw, Hector, when Pyrrhon deals it 15 points of damage. No, it's nearly dead, but he did stop that attack.

It absolutely was about to tear your fucking throat out. Okay. Yeah, that werewolf, you see panic once again. Not magical this time, but you see panic in its eyes. That werewolf is probably going to try and run. Then it is the queen's turn. She tries to tear Esmeralda apart. Oh, no.

Esmeralda gets picked up into the air. The queen slams Esmeralda into one of the walls and then stalks towards her. Kingslayer! Defiler! Awful! Awful! Off with your head! It tears into her.

Esmeralda needs to make three saving throws. That's okay. She's got a special juice. You can make the potion that she makes, yeah? Yeah! Esmeralda's alchemy skills pass apart. Oh, absolutely. Pass your own.

Then it is Esmeralda's turn. Esmeralda is, her face is just like a bloody mess right now. She kicks at the queen's leg and tries to slam something into the queen's face. She manages to do so. The queen topples forwards and then Esmeralda shoves mushed up wolfsbane into the side of her face. Esmeralda and the queen are screaming at each other. And then the queen's scream cuts short. She falls on top of Esmeralda and begins shifting back to her default state.

That's good. Yeah, fuck yes, Esme. Well done. The other werewolf tries to dart past you. Yeah, he's in full panic. You get a free attack. Excellent. You hit him. Donk. Mace in the back of the head. Yeah, the other werewolf

goes down. Can I still hear the sounds of combat from our allies? It begins to die down and you hear a Gogash call out, We're okay! Are you? Yes, we're fine.

Well, Esme got bit, but otherwise. So did I. I want to heal Esmerelda at a second level. Cure wounds. You can see her face again. Hey! Are you okay? She spits out a tooth.. Cure wounds. You can see her face again. Hey!

Are you okay? She spits out a tooth. I've been better. She gets to her feet and immediately starts mixing potions. Pip, can I have that wolfsbane? Yes, I give you one of my wolfsbanes. I've seen how he does it, right?

Yeah, he just places it against your skin. Nothing happens. I'm okay. I'll give it to Esmeralda. Esmeralda declines it. The wolfsbane I pushed into the queen hurt me. I start looking around for evidence of, I know we just fought werewolves, but something that I can bring back to Krezok.

You find a lot of equipment here. Nothing particularly of, well, sorry, when I say equipment, what I mean is you find a lot of coin here okay you find 200 gold coins you find 100 silver coins and you find 900 copper coins hardly any of them are from the same place all of them look like they were minted in different lands in addition to that you find a lot of correspondence, just letters, piles and piles of them. I like idly look at

one of them while I'm searching. It's written by the children to their parents. If we're all reading, like all these going through things, I would have also read if I'm realizing it's by the children or just by children?

It's by many children. Some of them are quite old. They're quite dated. I think the people of Kresik will want these. Yes, you're probably right. Any other affectations or clothing or anything we could find probably good to bring back as well. I mean, I guess. They've been doing it for a long time.

You've been going through all of this correspondence for about an hour, and you can hear a growling noise somewhere to the north. You are vaguely aware that Gorob Lushen and a Gogash have been slowly making their way in that direction. After the growling noise, you hear a Gogash call out, I think we need assistance. All right. I'll dip and head in their direction. All right.

A gogash keeps calling out. You can tell that they're not in a current fight, but you do hear the growling noise. A gogash is just calling for you. You come to another area to the north of you. You can see that this area, it's not very far away. You can see that this area is quite obviously the common living room. There are quite a few cots here. There are just as many bones as the previous space, all of them

in neat little piles, many of them having that holy symbol somewhere in there, in the pile. There are two people here. Both of the, well, sorry, there's Ogogash, Gora Blush, but in addition to that, there are two other characters here.

They've been cornered by a Gorgash and the composite Gor... The composite Goroblush. They have cornered these two characters, but they're not moving in for the strike. A Gorgash turns to you and kind of looks to you for guidance. It is two wolves. You can tell both of them are werewolves, though. And you can see one of them is a child, a cub, basically. Cub? Would you call it a cub?

Yeah. Yeah, wolf-cub. Is that correct? Yeah. And then the other one is quite obviously in a protective stance of the cub. a protective stance of the cub. The adult, who, when she speaks, you recognize that she is kind of like a mother, in a way.

She growls at you, Leave my children! Okay, I'll step, like, kind of maybe in front of the people. Esmeralda draws weapons. Easy, easy. I think you know that we cannot let you leave this cave alive.

You have done horrendous things, but if you put up no fight, we can at least help your cub. We can at least save them. There is no saving us, she snarls. Piran pipes up and says, look, perhaps we can enter into a bargain with these two. We don't need to unnecessarily engage werewolves again in combat, do we? Surely we don't need to completely wipe out everyone. Maybe they can just leave. Esmeralda shakes her head.

No, we kill them. No, we spare the child. We kill them, Esmeralda says. How far is the cub turned? Well, if they can turn into a wolf, there's no curing. There's no coming back. Once you've turned, the full moon's come and gone. This is it?

This is it, yeah. How about this? Go to the other side of Barovia. Flee. Head towards the keep. Head towards Barovia itself. As far away from Krezak as you can possibly get. Then we'll let you leave the cave.

The mother wolf nods. I will agree to this. How many have you turned? Probably hundreds, Hector. Possibly thousands. And how many more will she turn? Probably hundreds. Possibly thousands.

I turned only because he made us. Well, then there's that as well. Esmeralda shakes her head. They are... She is irrevocably evil. While she may not wish to engage in combat, the wolf will always come out. She will turn others if we leave her.

And so, she gestures to the cub, will that one? Pyrrhon pipes up again. Look, guess whose problem that isn't? I'd go say it. Even though there's obviously not sides, I'd go stand next to Pyrrhon. It actually really does start to feel like there's sides. Pyrrhon

and Esmeralda are looking at each other. Past you, Hector, you're kind of like in the middle of therhon and Esmeralda are looking at each other past you, Hector. You're kind of like in the middle of the two of them. They're staring daggers at each other. Pyrrhon doesn't want to start a fight that someone could get hurt in. And doesn't, you can quite, this is not altruism. No, I figured. You get the impression that Pyrrhon's like, why do we care?

Let them go. Hector, this looks like an argument that you just can't talk your way out of if we let her leave it will just perpetuate the cycle over and over again it has to end somewhere adam i gotta attack i figured yeah it sounds like that was where this was going. All right. It is her turn first. The mother werewolf, if we will. You see that she isn't moving to attack. She's actually standing. She takes a step backwards, actually.

She puts herself very firmly in between the party and the child. Hector, it's your turn. Adam. If you hesitate I stop Maybe just holding the Abbots mace It maybe just feels a little bit too heavy right now I just want to Maybe take one step forward seeing that

I'm assuming we're immediately Out of initiative on this one. Unless Esby drops... If you're hesitating, Esmerelda... Yeah, Esmerelda from behind you, you can feel her rocking from foot to foot. You are free to go. What are you doing?

She is free to go. Pip? Yes? There are forests, wilderness... This shithole's 99% forest. Is anything away from major settlements? Yeah. It's like 1% major settlements. In particular, that might be a way furthest away from?

East, probably beyond Mount Gacchus, I would say. Esmeralda puts a hand on your shoulder. No, she doesn't put a hand on your shoulder. Esmeralda tries to shove past you, Hector. And she says, it does not matter where they go. They will be a werewolf to the north. They will be a werewolf to the south. And they will kill again.

What about the Bervius? The Bervius said that they would- Esmeralda spits on the ground. Bervius. Do you think you could sneak into Krezic? Do you think you could get your way past the wall? She... Are you talking to the werewolf? She looks at you and you can see

that she is quite clearly unhappy at this prospect. You don't... Well, actually, you can see it in her face. Not only does she not really trust you, Hector, but you can see even if she did trust you, she seems to get an uncomfortable look on her

face about living either maybe she knows too much about the bellevues or maybe she just finds the idea of living next to krezik or in krezik i should say uncomfortable she doesn't like this idea if you go out of this cave you will go somewhere north here, but you will be so very close to people. And look to Esmeralda, and you will attack again. And then they will come for you. And then they won't just stop at you. They will come for your child.

If you go to Krezik and ask for the Bellevue's help, maybe you will get out of this alive. Maybe the little one will get out of this alive. Maybe the little one will get out of this alive. Esmeralda, as you're saying this, mutters to herself,

the lesser of two evils is the easier one to kill. All right. However, okay. What's your persuasion again? Pretty good. Okay, all right, all right okay alright alright alright you can see maybe she hears Esmeralda

and that gives you a little bit of a like the idea of being out on the loose where Esmeralda could potentially find her is probably also a little bit of a a little bit of an encouragement to stay with the Bellevues her expression softens

and you see it turns into kind of like resignation like she's resigning herself to the fact that this makes a little bit of sense and if it stops you from slaying her and the child she'll do it go there speak to cloven live out your lives and don't hurt anyone else like the little one's life depends on it. May our paths never cross again, but if they do, I hope that you will have a start atoning for the things you have done. Esmeralda is not happy about this decision, but she does not countermand the rest of the party and you, Hector. As the werewolf and cub are retreating into the caves,

you hear Piran say without a single hint of honesty, oh, good, thank God we've saved them. Good, glad. Now that we don't have to fight some werewolves and get bit maybe, can we continue? Esmeralda, Hector, while they leave, Esmeralda looks like she could kill you. I will not let what happened to the abbot happen to me. Just going to make a little note.

Esmeraldas, I will remember that. Well, I say collecting, like maybe I got a handful of the necklace wolf head sigils, swinging them around. It's a bit of a, you know, given the circumstances, a pep and pip stuff. Is there anything else in this godforsaken cave? Or shall we return to Krezic? Yes.

I'll search the wolves first. You get, wow, fuck, I guess this makes up for the lack of it last time. You get five doses of wolf's pain, two doses of blight skin. What's that? It's an ascending agent, adhesive and poison. Yeah, five doses of wolfsbane. Two doses of blight skin. What's that? It's a ascending agent. Adhesive and poison. Yeah, I need more ascending agents.

And you find seven little sapphires clustered in her lungs. Well, it's probably just a little pouch. Like with her jewelry. Either or. And I'll start heading out of the cave

it would be nice to get my horse back yes yes we'll talk about getting your horse back and your sword and all of that horse is probably eaten

but still yes we can we'll talk about that after Krezik yes and perhaps you can tell me about that

Keening fellow the moment Keening's name is mentioned I like stop in my tracks I keep walking color probably drains from my face

uh who if Hector if you're still walking no one is staying ah Gorob and Lushen I realize Hector's kept walking and I will then just like rejoin the procession you maybe look over to Gorob and Lushen and you see as they

do one final jerk, finish pissing and then redo their pants. Oh shit! We lost them! No, they're just... You didn't. Gorob, Lushen pats you on the back. Oh, thank you! And

it can't be a joke. It must be pissed. They obviously haven't washed their hands, so the wetness must be pissed. Okay. I join the back of the procession. Thank God I'm lost in my own mind right now. Because I just got piss on my shoulder. To be continued... D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest.

Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.