D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #11 Other Bird

Episode Date: July 15, 2023

Things go from bad to worse as the party deals with an uncertain future while looking at the past. Hecktor laments about Barovia’s most common form of communication while Pip has an unexpected encounter with Boris.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out Imagination Adventures+ on our website or on Apple Podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

While your feeble mind cannot comprehend it, you struggle vainly against the misty walls of this place, trapped in a nightmare you cannot wake from. But it will not matter. It will never matter. Nothing will matter again. For I, Agogash the Terrible, are your jailer, and soon your executioner. Your only escape will be death. Boris leaps at you. As Boris collides with me, I throw Pop away, and I say, look after Pop. And then I grab the bolts, and I'll fall off the cliff with Boris. Do you know where that lake, that waterfall went to?

Luna Lake. Somewhere to the east. We need to find my friend. Or at the very least his book. She nods and says, we'll search tomorrow. Eventually Tarpos returns with a, somehow she has managed to hunt a deer. The deer you can see looks, you cannot imagine the deer put up to hunt a deer. The deer you can see looks... You cannot imagine the deer put up much of a fight.

You can see ribs. This deer quite clearly had a hard life. Oh, boy. She dumps it, though, and you make a meal of what is left of this deer. I feel like a plump deer would be suspicious. I'm going to cut open the deer and there's going to be guys in it. It's not going to be guaranteed.

You, through a hole, a massive hole in the wall, you can see across the road from you, on the other side of town, is what is left of a church. It's really just a pile of rubble and then the bell tower. The bell tower is the only part that still stands somehow. In the wind wind which is beginning to pick up harder and harder you hear every now and then gong gong there's no rhythm to it it's just when the wind hits the bell at the right angle in the right place it shifts and rings

yes i just stare at the bell and pull my cloak or whatever, just tight it, push out the cold. You cast your eyes down and you could see scrawled in red paint on the side of what is left of the church, all hope is lost. Gong, gong. The bell rings with a steady rhythm, and to that steady rhythm, Hector, you watch soldiers marching. They're raw recruits. There's many of them, though. And what they lack in skill, they will probably, hopefully, make up for in numbers. That is, at least, Lady Eiderman's hope. You are in North Hallow.

Right, right, right. North Hallow. Yep. North Hallow. Right, right, right. North Hallow, yep. North Hallow is one of the most major settlements, the most major eastern settlement in Kandor. It almost borders on what

is left of the nation of Goldcrest. Once, long, long ago, when the king of Goldcrest was still alive, this was basically the front line. Nowadays, the people of North Hallow have not needed to be involved in direct combat in so long that they have quite clearly grown comfortable. The raw recruits here are all that North Hallow

can summon to help with the insurrection at Blue Beach. You sit in a viewing box. It was once a amphitheater, a stadium, but now it is currently being used to house all of these soldiers who are being prepared to be sent to the front line. In this stadium box, you sit with Lady Eidamon herself, the ruler, the regent of North Hallow. And also you sit with Sir Lycus Silvermoon, another person that you have come here specifically to speak to. Laika Silvermoon, another person that you have come here specifically to speak to. Laika Silvermoon was Sir Grace's number two companion for quite a long time. Many people like to say that Dick was Grace's number two. But if you wanted to go by raw getting things done rather than just, if you go by just killing things yeah sure okay unky dick would have been number two sort of feels like probably there was a transitionary period where you're like oh so

grace is getting serious where lyca becomes the main number two lyca silvermoon is a very dour very serious man he has he's just very no-nonsense, but he does observe the niceties of court, you have noticed. This is probably the first time you've ever met him. Well, maybe the first time you've ever met him properly. I'm sure you've seen him at functions and stuff like that. He observes the niceties,

but when he smiles politely, the smile does not reach his eyes. It never has. I guess looking at the mass troop, they're all so young. Thank you for your audience. I really appreciate it. Like a silver moon looking at you over his half-moon spectacles says, well, it's important that we get as young as they are, as young as experience, it's important that we get them to the front lines as soon as possible.

It is messy in the West, he says. How are things progressing over there? He looks, he consults quickly. There's a table in front of him, a little table. This box is typically reserved for lady ideman when she's here to observe games and whatnot so it is not really it the table is not really designed to hold many notes but somehow like a silver moon has been able to to arrange notes in a way where most of them are visible to him he goes through some of them and you you can see um uh it

fails poorly initially at first the insurrectionalists have taken to the seas where they can and the navy of blue beach has always been superior to well there's a reason that candor has always taken its sailors from blue Beach. They raid up and down the coast as best as they can. We have fears that perhaps somewhere as far as Appleville might be hit by a raiding party. If this happens, it would be catastrophic.

Appleville is a center of trade for all of Kandor. That is cut off. Yes. Yes, that does sound dire. I guess, did you get any word ahead? I sent a few different. Yes, I saw your message. He says he scatters all of his important documents and digs deep to find your message.

I didn't want to say too much in case it got intercepted. But I know you were Sir Grace's right-hand man at a certain point. Yes? Sir Silvermoon, with your message in one hand, reaches up to his spectacles, and with a simple clicking

sound, they come apart at the middle, and he lowers them. They're on a chain, so he just hangs them over his shoulders. And he says, he looks at you, he casts his eyes at you as if he was still looking at you over his spectacles, but they're not attached to his face anymore. And he says,

it seems very fantastical what you're giving me. I understand that it perhaps seems untrue or that one of the greatest knights that Kandor has ever seen has fallen to what is a great evil. But you must listen. I understand that there is a lot going on right now, especially with Blue Beach the way it is. But there is corruption in the heart of Fairburn Point

and I think it has been going on for longer than i have been alive and so grace has been caught in its hinky web of whatever it is sir silver moon is about to respond to you but then lady iderman stands up with you know how someone can kind of stand up almost explosively, like they've been seized with energy, like they need to get something done. She stands up very quickly and glancing at Silvermoon, Silvermoon immediately stops talking. She wanders over to the edge of the box, looks out over the many, many troops amassed below, her own citizens who are being sent to war. We haven't the resources to spare at the moment. But, Sir Silvermoon, you will personally investigate this.

Silvermoon is about to say something, and Lady Eidamund cuts her off. You serve the king, and so do I, but I outrank you. Silvermoon, deal with this. I guess genreflect or numb my head. Thank you, Lady Idemon. Thank you so much.

She nods gracefully to you, and as she does so, she wears, there's a lot of ceremonial clothes that you are vaguely aware that she always wears. aware that she always wears it's a very customary thing in north hallow for the nobility here to be kind of always decked out just with uh heavy finery for any anytime that they're seen publicly it's considered a bit of a faux pas to not always look your best and it is indeed north hallow is Palo is the closest thing all of Ognat has to a resort town. It is a town very concerned with its own appearance. I turn to Laika. Yep. Silvermoon. Thank you.

Thank you. When you go down there, you need to understand that things may appear like they are normal, but they are not. It is like they are wearing the skin of man like they're suits. Here, I reach into my, I guess, backpack and produce the sacred relic, the finger bone of Saint Benedict. This helped me when I was nearly… Take this. Just say a prayer if you are ever feeling like you are under attack.

It is of utmost importance that you need to protect yourself from the evil that is there. Like a silver moon turns his cold calculating gaze to you and you see he gracefully and gratefully takes from within one of his breast pockets a handkerchief, a monogrammed handkerchief, and he very gingerly accepts the bone, wraps it up carefully, and then

you see he lifts part of his breastplate and slides it in, tucks it in, into the very center of himself. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much like a silver moon knots gratefully that night you are you're in north hallow castle north hallow castle has primo views if there were a travel brochure it absolutely would mention the amazing views of both the beach and also the surrounding buildings.

North Hallow is arranged in such a way that it is, I wouldn't describe it as colour-coded, but imagine a circular city that is the gradient of colour going all the way around. You're not sure what building ordinance figured this out, but looking from your room, you can see out into green, gradually becoming blue, and then you get a small slice of the ocean as well. It's one of the most artistic and beautiful things you've ever seen, even in the moonlight. There is also streetlight.

This is the only city, the only city you've ever been to, that is pretty constantly lit. There are magical streetlights going throughout all of the major streets, which crisscross and make geometric patterns. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's absolutely gorgeous. You are pacing back and forth. It's another, ever since Sir Grace, it has been many restless nights for you, Sir Hector.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You, perhaps take it upon you to wander the castle. Yeah. I think maybe after sitting down, like, if there's, like, a little, like, a writing desk, like, trying to write some more missives and best seeing, you know, what they might look like, like, writing things down, they're reading them out, and, like, these are the

things of just a madman. Scrunching them up, throwing them in a, they're reading them out, and like, these are the things of just a madman. Scrunching them up, throwing them in, I guess, a bin, and then, yeah, taking to the castle. The castle is quiet at night. Not even a church mouse. Except, actually, for one noise. You, at the end of one corridor,

you can see a cracked door, slightly open. It's the, it's one of the meeting rooms within north hallow castle the door is cracked open ever so slightly and from it light spills forth you hear the sound of people talking not many people maybe only two people and it sounds almost like hushed whispers like secrets spoken in the night. I guess I prick up my ears and try and be as quiet as I can to see, like, yeah, maybe listen out. All right. Hang my way towards that door.

You creep a little bit closer, steadily, making your way as close as you dare without being heard. You hear, so like a silver moon conversing with someone else. We grow weary. We're drained.ing with someone else. We grow weary. We're drained. Attention's averted. We grow stronger. Age has not been kind to the king.

You, looking through a crack in the doorway, you see Sir Laika Silvermoon conversing with a foot soldier. The man's body is normal, but his neck, you can see the flesh is warped, distorted by some fell magic. And his head? Its features are also changed, altered magically to those of Sir Grace. There is a hedge knight, Sir Hector the Beautiful. There is a chance he could be an issue. Have him dealt with.

He has already been framed for Lady Eidemann's death. We will arrest him in the morrow. Where's Lady Eidemann's room? Gotta fucking go. You creep away. As quietly as I can

I head back and I try and run as if I think I'm out of earshot to where Lady, uh, Lady Eidemann is. You arrive at Lady Eidemann's bedchambers. Two guards stand out the front. One of them holds up a hand. Where, where is, where is, where is Lady? She, I think she is in danger.

She is, she's in grave danger. The guards look at each other and back at you. You're a knight of the cloth, not a knight of the crown. So they don't actually technically have to take orders from you. But knights of the cloth still carry weight around here. So they turn and open the door. It is a scene of chaos within. The four-poster bed has sheets or normally would have sheets draped over it.

Those sheets have been torn down. Lady Eidermann is halfway towards the door to her bedchambers, wrapped in those sheets. She quite clearly fought back at her attackers, but she is drenched, drowned in blood. I turned towards the guards and you didn't hear anything? They look just as shocked as you do. You, looking into the room, see two things. First off, a dagger, a bloody dagger,

which you know is your backup dagger. And then also, in addition to that, you see in the window, one of the windows to her bed chambers, there is a, you can see just the edges of a grappling hook. And you are quite certain that that grappling hook, your room is several flights below this one. I kneel down, say a prayer to Penia, do a very, very brief prayer for the dead. May you walk into the light on the sunset of your life. I look towards the guards. I think I need to inform the church.

I'll be back. All right. I scarper. Yeah, fair enough. You, in the dead of night, escape North Hallow Castlellow castle they obviously the alarm is not raised well suspicions against you are not raised until you are well far enough away that you will make it out of the city gates before they are able to stop you with the wind howling it is a bitterly cold night wind howling turns into howling snow,

and Hector, you are once again crouched within the shattered remains of this building in this nondescript unknown town, dead ghost town in the middle of nowhere. Not ready to abandon it all yet. Okay, um, let us, okay, so let us so let us so Pip is probably fell down to the waterfall. He's there's a chance

that he didn't make it. Does anyone remember what we have to do to find a trident? Everyone kind of shrugs. Tarpos who has been standing by the doorway kind of keeping watch looks back at your group. You can see quite obviously she feels uncomfortable in this group. And she says, I can help.

It's hard. Rhyme, she says. I just nod. A sparrow or a swallow or any bird, I think. I don't know, she says. Rhyme, she shrugs. Hector, by the way. This is Cribbit, Coroblushen, she says. Rhyme, she shrugs. Hector, by the way. This is Kribbit, Koroblashin, Muriel.

She puts her hand meatily on her chest. For the first time, she seems a little confident. She does like the that, and she goes, Tapos. Nice to meet you, Tapos. Who was Keshka? Keshka Lida, king of druids. And you were an outcast?

She nods slowly. I am Tarpos, daughter of Kavan. Oh, druid princess. And Kavan is a gesture to a spear. Kavan was Leda, in charge of druids, but Keshgar slew. And is your father in the spear or enchanted by this? When I... Souls cannot leave, must stay.

Kavan reborn, she says, and she gestures with the spear. So not even death is an escape. That would make a lot of sense. No. Barovia is prison, she says. Death will not free you. Yes, I've been to the elven realm of the dead. There is a lot of spirits there. She nods. Right.

Elf you with. Woman. I just nod. Yes. She seems quite shocked by this development. I think she was, Strahd might have missed her. Good, she says.

Good. She seems a little bolstered by that information. Yeah, and like, have a... So, um, so the druids seem to be very much working, if not for Strahd, at least in his name. She seems a bit upset by this. She's not... You just see her hulking mass in the doorway.

She says, my father, Kavan, when he ruled, druids were with nature. But Strahd changed things. Some of my people think Strahd is nature Strahd is abomination But Keshgar more powerful Not anymore She shakes her head Keshgar not dead

What? Keshgar cannot die so long as Strahd is alive Keshgar is connected Is he a vampire as well, or... She shakes her head. No. Keshgar is... Strahd is not nature, but he controls it.

Keshgar is one with nature, abhorrent as this is. Strahd is making him, extending his life beyond what is natural. Ha, she laughs. He still lives, but not in one piece anymore.

Keshgar cannot die, but he cannot regenerate from this, she says, holding the spear up. Okay. Okay. I cannot kill Strahd, says, holding the spear up. Okay. Glove move. Okay. I cannot kill Strahd,

but I will cut up Keshka. It is nice to have Gors. Gotta keep yourself busy, I guess, I suppose. Gorob, Lush, and stand up, and they say, Well, whatever it is, well, no, Gorob they say, well, whatever it is. Well, no, Gorob says sexually, whatever, whatever it is, we will help you destroying this vile Keshka. Lushen slaps him in the face and says, no, I will help you.

Hector, get a good boy card. You think Gorob and Lushen Are trying to flirt With Tarpos Oh no They quite clearly seem a bit Both of them seem a little bit enamored And then from there, both of them Try to pledge greater and greater things

To help Tarpos Oh no I just look at Tarpos. Does she notice? Or does she just let it wash over herself? She's looking away from your group. She's not really paying attention. Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys. You are

unable to stop them. They begin getting down on their hands and knees. Gorub says, I, my fair lady, I will kill Keshka with Strahd himself. I will wield him as a sword. Lushen grabs Gorub's nose and something about that forces him to start gagging instead. And Lushen says, no, I will use Strahd's own magic to disbind Keshka from nature.

And then we, my lady, can slay him together. I thought you were going to say they get down on their hands and knees and start doing push-ups. How's Tarpos taking it? Tarpos looks back and you can see she seems a little confused. She doesn't really seem to understand that they're trying to flirt with her. Hasn't made the same connection.

She just seems awkward about the entire thing. Fair enough. Yeah, look. Absolutely reasonable response. I think if you were to tell them to be quiet, they will. Tarpos, looking at you, Hector, as you say that, looks back at Gorob Lushen and says,

Stop talking. They both, Of course, of course. They kind of half scurry back to the bed. I don't have your eyes to catch to be like, We finally figured it out. Gorob and Lushen have never been so quiet. You've already proven your worth, Tarpos. Life to the body.

Have you been to this place before, Tarpos? Tarpos looks around and shakes her head. Once, she says. Long ago. Before or after this? Once, she says. Long ago. Before or after this? Before, she says. Do you happen to know what they did? Get treated as such?

She shrugs. No. Well, let us get some rest. It has been a very long day. I will try to tend to some of the wounded. How is everybody? Everyone's hurt. Yeah.

It's not light of day yet. I mean, it's Barovia. Yeah, it's always light. There's no such thing as the light of day in Barovia, but there is such a thing as lighter nighttime. It is currently, the sun has probably set. It is the, well, yeah, no, there is a sun It's just, you can't see it through the clouds

The sun would have set and it is getting cold and darker and darker Somehow, you've never been to a place where it does get darker at night After the sun's set, that's not the darkest it's going to be Yeah, I guess, i want to like investigate this this little place to see if there's anything like remains of like what happened here but at the same time it's cold yeah it's night time and i'm sad yeah i think it's bad uh yeah i guess we'll huddle up near the fire once again going over anybody's wounds see if anything is a lot worse than it maybe appears sure and yeah even just doing some very

basic triage have some deer yeah some yummy skinny deer yummy venison yeah you have the stringiest deer you have ever had meanwhile Pip

you're still on zero hit points so you're not really able to do anything but every now and then you come in and out of consciousness you're on the side of the the river it's so cold you're chilled to your very core you have never been this cold. Something in the gravel and the sand is pacing towards you. An animalistic face looms out of the darkness. I'm getting dragged away. You come back in. You're being

dragged away from the river. You can see you're kind of in a seated position. You can see your legs and your hands and arms limp at your sides. You're unable, you don't have enough strength to pick yourself up. Can I see how my arm's looking, the one that crashed into the rock? In between your golden

scales, you can see a blue tinge. It looks maybe like blood has been cut off or something. It looks bad. I'm really in no position to fix that at the moment, am I? Yeah. Yeah. You're still coming in and out.

I fell 500 feet off a cliff, yeah. You slowly fade out. You slowly fade back in. There's a warmth now as you come back in. You can see there is a small,

it's not, it's not just standing freely, it's dug into the ground. There is a pit fire which you are vaguely aware is the safest way to camp in Barovia. It's not into the ground. There is a pit fire, which you are vaguely aware is the safest way to camp in Barovia. It's not a skill you have, but a better woodsman than you,

or someone who lives their entire life in the forest, like a certain Boris perhaps, knows how to dig a pit fire that can be hidden. It doesn't cast as much light. You see on the other side of the pit fire the big hulking form of, it couldn't be

anyone else but Boris lying silently on the other side. You fade back out. How does Boris continually surprise me? You fade back in. I'm going to say you're still on zero hit points so you can't really move or do

anything. But you feel to say you're still on zero hit points, so you can't really move or do anything, but you feel significantly better. You still feel like you're in a lot of pain, but you look over and you see your arm is now in a full splint. Okay. You look over at where Boris is. He's still lying there and now you realize he's actually

very motionless. You can't see the gentle rise of his chest. It takes you a second, but you realize Boris is dead. Then, Eleniel, stepping out of the darkness, kneels down next to the fire. Oh my god, you're gonna give me a heart attack. Eleniel, seeing that you're awake, says simply, I took this one. Boris, is it?

Yeah. It's unpleasant, but it will be cold tonight. Yeah. You're skinning him? Is that what you're saying? In a manner of speaking. She says, you from your position, watch as she kind of, she definitely doesn't skin him.

She just guts him. Okay, yeah, cool. And she says, I Take that, Boris. There is not enough room for two inside Boris. I know, I'm kind of barely conscious, really. You'll be taking Boris

bed? No, she says. She helps you gingerly into boris okay that's like weekly i'm like as she's pushing me in i'd like to grab her or like put my hand and be like you're pregnant like i i you know elves may enter a trance for a short period okay in this time i can slow my bodily functions to such a point where the cold will not harm me. When I can trance for no longer, we will change places. And nod weakly. She, with a, you hear a cracking noise as she breaks Boris's ribs around you.

Thanks, Eleniel, I say. And then I kind of maybe maybe turn over inside Boris. Fuck you, Boris. You sleep for as long as Eleniel can handle it inside Boris, and then at a certain point in the night, you hear the cracking

noise of Boris being opened back up, and Eleniel lets you out, lets you next to the fire. While this fire, while it is a fire the fact that it's in a pit and the fact that it still can't be too big means that the heat that it gives off is very very light it is enough though as you when you when you feel her pulling you out eleniel is as cold as a corpse oh my god god. Get in. Get in. And then she climbs in and you hear the cracking noise again as she breaks Taurus's ribs again. Yeah, around her.

And that's how you spend the night. Shuffle, yeah, back over to the fire. Okay. Fucking hell. On both parties, the next morning rises. So you get a short rest. All right. Rock and roll a short rest. All right. Rock and roll.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, right? How good's this? A short rest. Luckiest boys. How good do you feel? So lucky you can't believe it. Eleniel is not going to spend any hit points.

She's on 46 out of 68. She's fucking fine. She might need those hit points. Yeah, look. I was on zero for a full like 12 hours. Kribbit's gonna buy himself four. Okay. How many hit dice you got left, Sabit?

I have to have a single hit dice. Okay, yeah, that's good. Because remember we had a long rest so recently. The night before. Oh, fuck it all. At least we have Cribbit to heal us a bit. At least you do. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's correct.

Cribbit heals the entire party for an extra six. Hey, anything is good, Adam. True. In Barovia, one hit point is the difference between life and death. I mean, that's true for any character, I guess. But... Hmm. Fucking hell.

Sleeping in Boros, grant me any healing powers. Yeah, you will be able to as well. Okay. So everyone recovers an extra six hit points. Additionally, I'm just going to quickly check to see if you took enough damage to take a special wound. That's so many dice. Well, once you hit 0, so long as I don't deal 68 points of damage. Yeah.

Wait, 1, 2, 3. No, I need more. You already had so many dice. You already had like a full hand. You fell really far, dude. Full hand, full mode. Okay. That's a lot of sixes I can see from my position here.

It doesn't matter. You still would have been on zero hit points. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Once you hit zero, you're on zero. Dude, calm down. It's fine. Yeah. Sorry, Biff.

You come out of Boris and outright die. I knew you weren't going to... You're just going to not have maybe, I don't know, a foot. I mean, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50. Oh, my God. 57. Adam! Relax! I mean 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 Oh my god 57 Adam Relax

So you were like 11 off dead Fucking hell It's fine It does mean that you're gonna take a pretty horrendous fucking wound though Oh by the way Everyone levels up What? It'll happen on your next long rest.

On your next long rest, everyone's jumping up a level. Next long rest. Oh, well, yeah, any day now. That's something to look forward to. Yeah, so a little... I feel like a little bit powerful, but not... Not yet. I just feel like it's coming for me.

Yeah, it's a little inkling. Okay, so this is a deadly injury. Pardon? It's a deadly injury that you're going to get. It's a little inkling. Okay, so this is a deadly injury. Pardon? It's a deadly injury that you're going to get. It's fine. You're worried too much. All right, so you've got failing lungs. So your collarbone, your entire shoulder.

Not only did it get completely shattered. Well, all right. Good news, bad news. Okay. Good news is that the next morning, your arm hurts to use. Anytime it moves, you're in excruciating pain. But you can use that arm. Okay.

The problem is your collarbone came unstuck and is now poking into your... It disjoined and then when it tried to rejoin it instead poked into the top of your lungs oh my god you have failing lungs you immediately gain a level of exhaustion okay and at the start of each of your turn uh of combat or any time you're exercising strenuously you need to make a constitution saving throw or gain another level of exhaustion. Oh my god. After two successful saves, the effect ends.

Okay. Okay. The DC will be 14. So the next two rounds on turns when you are doing something strenuous, you need to make a constitution saving throw. After you've made two of these, this effect is done. Okay.

That's not too bad. So the worst that could happen is three levels of exhaustion. Yeah, that'll go in three weeks. Also, you have one level of exhaustion because you didn't eat last night. Two levels of exhaustion. So you'll just be one level of exhaustion away from death. Okay.

Awesome. Like right now? Yeah, you and Elaine, you'll both have one level of exhaustion. Eat a. Okay. Awesome. Like right now? Yeah, you and Elaine, you'll both have one level of exhaustion. Need a bit of boros. Yeah. Do I feel... Exhaustion only come... You only recover exhaustion on a long rest. Yeah, I know, Adam.

Yeah, Adam. You did this to us. Don't act surprised. Adam! I forgot how bad this is. Does that mean I'm permanently one level away from exhaustion? From death? Only if you fail these saving throws. Fucking hell. Alright. Yeah, fine. Good stuff.

Okay. I have a home remedy. Yeah. Which is to remove one condition. Okay. That is affecting you. I gotta get to you. Wild magic mishap. Seriously? No.

That would be insane, Adam. Okay, fuck yeah. Good stuff. Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to, let's see how much. I'm going to use maybe three, two of my warlock dice and one of my paladin dice to heal myself up. And let's see what happens But let's see what happens. Let's see what happens.

How much? Eleven health. Okay, eleven. Eleven plus twelve. Nice. That's nice. That's nice. Oh, did you want to use any of your hit dice to heal yourself? Yeah, maybe. You've got five left. I'll use

three. Three? Alright. No, maybe that's stupid. I'll use two. I'll use two. You've got five left. I'll use three. Three? All right. No, maybe that's stupid. I'll use two. I'll use two. I'll use two. I've got a full fucking six days to go. 17 plus four is 21.

You recover 21 hit points. That's not so bad. Total of 26. Nice. Yeah, good job. What are you on? So I'm currently on 34. 34?

Oh, that's good. Yeah. Haha, fish health. Dude, compared to where we've been. It 34? Oh, that's good. Yeah. Haha, fish health. Dude. Compared to where we've been. It's true. Half health's awesome. Yeah.

So the first level of exhaustion gives you disadvantage on ability checks. That's right. That's just what you've got. They come with problems. You're on. And so that disadvantage on your checks, right? So you currently have a lung issue. Yeah issue that you need to pass a check. I didn't think of that.

I didn't think of that. But yeah, that's true. So I need to pass a check twice. Is there anything in this wonderful rule set, Adam, that if we got first aid kit or if we were like... Oh, nothing gives you back exhaustion. I think maybe some high-level cleric spells.

High-level cleric spells. But basically nothing gives you back exhaustion. Exhaustion's a real fuckler's delight, if you will, in fifth ed. I was wondering if there was any kind of thing, apart from resting for seven days, some of these conditions, if we were like, oh, we can do like a first day

kid, or do this, or we do that, or we try and find something nice. Big old fuckless choice. It's a big old fuckless delight. Oh, by the way, speaking of, you know that quick siesta card I have? Get a long rest on a short rest? Yeah. I'm just going to use it on a good guy.

She's not tired or anything. Just burning it on a good guy. Yeah,'s not tired or anything. Just burning it on a Gorgash. Yeah, why not? It's a bit of fun. Look on the bright side. It's going back in the good boy deck. That's true. That is nice.

That card's back in the good boy deck. That's the most valuable card in the game right now. I think I'll put it on the bottom. I'm kidding. I'll shuffle the deck. I'll shuffle the deck. But yeah, I'm just going to burn it on a Gorgash. I don't have to.

Okay. Awesome, dude. I've almost momentarily forgotten about a gogash being a vampire. It's funny to think about the things piling on. There's a big tree heading for Valakai. There's also in Valakai, the devil. Who knows what's happening. The Christian devil, yeah.

Up with Piran and... Piran and... My horse died, maybe. Up with Pyrrhon and... Pyrrhon and... Yeah, oh, yeah, so... My horse died, maybe. I don't know. But yeah, Pip, you're on two levels of exhaustion. So, like I said, the first is disadvantage on ability checks. The second one is your speed is half.

Okay. And then, potentially, you could get up to four. So the third one is disadvantage on attack rolls and saving throws. And then the final one is your hit point maximum is halved. Okay, cool. And then the final one is your hit point maximum is halved. Okay. Cool. And then level 5, actually level 5 is not death. Level 5 is your speed is reduced to 0. Sorry. 6

is dead. Okay. Hey, I got more wiggle room. You got a whole extra level of exhaustion. Yeah. I see this as a win. Yeah. How far can a big tree travel in a week? Yeah, exactly. If we do.

If we, uh, well, we'll see. Okay. Alright. Awesome. Cool. Good morning, I guess. Alright, Eleniel and Pip, you get to act first because your accommodations are so significantly worse

that you, I just, like, at least the rest of the group has a roof overhead. Yeah. So when the snow continues to fall. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. You lot are not immediately like, I'm wet and cold. Unfortunately, you and Elaniel are are by the second the sun's up you're like we gotta we gotta move we're wet and cold this sucks absolutely do uh could i well

maybe i say this to eleniel do you think we have time for um for me to harvest boris eleniel gestures like grab is like maybe his big more and like you know like with a dog If you grab its lower jaw And then you push it up and down The dog's like Anyway that I've probably got some good stuff in me I let it drop Elaniel

It just gives you a very A blank expression She does not find this situation humorous at all Sorry She waits Okay She waits though I'll harvest Boris

It's the least he could do Unfortunately Boris got mangled last night Yeah that's bad Sorry. She waits. Okay. She waits, though. I'll harvest Boris. It's the least he could do. Unfortunately, Boris got mangled last night. Yeah, that's fair. And I would say, do you even get a dire wolf heart out of it? Oh, my God. Well, I guess you get mangled and then gutted. So, yeah, fair enough. I would say that's maybe actually the only thing you get out of this.

So, you get a direst wolf heart. Okay. All right. I'll stand up, take in a deep breath. You feel your lungs uncomfortably expand into your collarbone. So by my reckoning,

we're probably on the Luna River. How far down are we? Eleniel thinks for a moment, I think we're very close to where the mouth opens into the lake. What do I know about Luna Lake? You know very little about Luna Lake. You've never been out this way.

Not even Keening really came out this way. You're vaguely aware that there's a town somewhere on Mount Garkas. Apart from that, though. Did you see where Hector and Anderest went? They got onto the other side somewhere i don't know exactly where i lost track of them when i was following you oh yeah thank thank you eleniel you didn't have to well maybe you think you did she looks at you with a careless expression and says, it was too hard to jump. Oh. Oh, of course.

Well, let's... We've got to find a big tree, right? She nods. Kind of in the perfect place for it, really. I like maybe pull out Emmanuel from my... Let me just get the rhyme. Give me a second. He's got to find a specific bird or any bird.

Yeah. I pull it out and I like, I mean, we could go and find the rest of, you know, Hector and Tribet. I mean, again, we're in a good position. Treant high or Treant low. Searching which way to go. Treant here to here. I must find water near. near like gesture to the river once the water i start glancing around in the like the trees around it i do acquire

ground begone i will get higher in the air or up a tree a robin with a red chest i see but it doesn't have to be a robin it can be any bird robin robin or other birds please help my cries be heard i need a creature made of wood are there any in this neighborhood if the treant wishes to sight the robin or whatever will take flight the poem says or whatever yeah i like turn it around and point to it with my finger i don't know why he mentioned a robin at the beginning if he then was going to make it clear didn't matter what kind of bird it was also makes it much harder to find because there are birds everywhere i like i'll look around in the trees to see if i can see a robin or whatever

or a big tree yeah takes you a little while yes, eventually you spot a tree that has somehow it feels wrong here in the Slavage woods to hear a bird cawing out in just like a normal bird song in a tree. It feels wrong. Oh, yeah. I'm assuming it's not a robin, right? Some sad grey thing. Highs. It's a a robin, right? Some sad grey thing. Hives. It's a vulture. Bird song from a vulture.

What's it? Sick? Kind of sounds like a... Don't vultures kind of sound like crows? Yeah, I think they do. This one does. I like with a kind of shaky weak finger point to it and then like shrug and you're like... your guess is as good as mine, she says. You're the one with the book. Does the vulture take flight?

I believe the poem wants you to climb up the tree. Oh, climb up the tree. You gotta go up and meet it there. What now, Pip? You or the pregnant woman. I'll climb the tree. That's kind of a joke.

Delaniel obviously should be the one to climb, but all right. You do have a climb speed. Yeah, I got a climb speed. That's kind of why. That's true. Well, I will call this your first round of strenuous activity. So let's make a DC 14. Oh, if only your good paladin friend was there to give you a bonus

to this roll plus 2 so you succeed on a 12 or higher alright so you take another level of exhaustion I gotta re-roll on any constitution based check that's allowed yeah alright I'm gonna use my good boy card oh nice job

you climb up and grab like the lower twig to You climb up and you have cost. I grab like the lower twig to put myself up and do one big inhale that nearly makes me black out and then go a little gentler. Yeah. You climb to the top of the tree or you get as close to the vulture as the vulture is obviously going to let you. As you get higher up, the tree has, because it's thinner, it sways more when you climb. And you get to a certain point where obviously the vulture is not happy with this swaying. So the vulture looks like it's about to take flight.

And then so you, at that point, stop. And you just stare at the vulture. I like glance at the book to just get a reminder of what I need to ask it, I think. Robin. Robin. Or other bird. Maybe I gesture with a hand to the vulture. Please help my cries be heard.

I need a creature made of wood. Are there any in this neighborhood? Ah! The vulture spreads its wings and immediately takes off into the air. Okay, now I gotta get down and follow it. God damn it. I suppose this should count as the second time. Fuck.

Yep. Now, I have a reroll of saving throw. I'll allow you to use that. He needs it. I'll just, yeah. Okay. There you go. Thank you.

Much appreciated. Much appreciated. I have a think. All right. You pass again. I have a think. Alright, you pass again. Oh, thank God. So you're on only two levels of exhaustion. This effect ends,

but the exhaustion obviously remains. Okay, thank God. Remind me, does exhaustion go all together if you get one good... It goes one level at a time. One level at a time. So after seven days, you'll be on one level of exhaustion. That is great to hear. Hey, I fell off a mountain.

Fair enough. Sure, yeah. You've got to take your lobs. And you have so many. I've got so many lobs to take. All right, I'll climb down the tree. Do I think it's going to be actually possible to track the vulture from within the forest? You get down and as soon as you're at the bottom, Eleniel says, this way.

Okay, thank God. And you're pretty confident Eleniel knows what she's doing. Sort of shuffling, following after her. Meanwhile, you wake up. I wouldn't say you're uncomfortable, but comparatively, it's like you're in the fucking Hilton. Not only do you not have to crack your way out of the corpse of Boris, you basically have a blanket. That's incredible.

There's a roof overhead. Fucking hell. My blanket was guts. My blanket's a blanket. I ran a proper fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, okay.

As I wake up, I might have a quick prayer to Peniel. Is anyone else up as well, or is it just myself? Tarpos is up. I would say Tarpos and Muriel. Do you sleep well, as well as you could? Tarpos nods slowly and says, Like rock. Muriel gives you a bit of a shrug.

You can see there's bags underneath her eyes. Doesn't look like she's slept well in a while. I think we need to head... Presumably the wolves probably, at least some of them probably made the jump across the bridge. We need to head back down to the Lunar Lake and try and find Pip or his backpack. I look around

the place and like, is this at all useful to try and even search through to see if there's anything here that might even assist us in any way shape or form, if not now, if not later, of like, what did Strahd do? what did these people do

anything but i'm just like it's all yeah ruined you have obviously because you slept here last night this specific building has been pretty thoroughly turned over you don't think you'd find anything new here but there are nine other buildings most of them are completely destroyed there's not enough standing to basically even really call it a building. But you could check some of the other ones if you wanted to. I'd only be checking it while everyone gets ready. I don't want to kind of waste too much time, if that makes sense. All right.

Well, you step out, and I'd say you've got enough time maybe to check one other building. There is across from you the rubble of the church. to check one other building. There is, across from you, the rubble of the church. There is, on one, the side of the town is like one street, or like I said, was one street. The street is still kind of visible,

but where it would have gone off into the forest on either side, it looks like the slavish wood has just reclaimed that completely. You, it almost looks supernatural. It almost, you could say, maybe looks like something about this place has been

perpetually preserved as a reminder or a warning, if you will. Classic. But yeah, on the side of the road that you're on, there are in total six buildings similar to yours of different states of disrepair. All of them would have been dwellings, homes.

Yeah, yeah. On the other side, there is the church, some sort of, looks like maybe it would have been a tavern or something like that, like an ale house. Yeah. A blacksmithy or just like a general construction sort of building. And then one building, which looks quite, it looks quite obviously like it was once the biggest building but now it's just a pile of rubble you can search one other building if you want to just use this time um yeah i i think i might look i'll go to the church um and yeah i'll i'll look through the church maybe cast divine sense see if i can detect

anything good or evil and just have a search in the church this is cast divine sense, see if I can detect anything good or evil, and just have a search in the church. This is perhaps the first time you've ever encountered a church that has no aura good or evil to it. Whatever was once here has been so thoroughly destroyed there is not even a trace of what it was once. You can see, though, that there is, among the tattered remains of different pieces of cloth and whatnot It was quite obviously a church to the mourning lord

You find as you walk around the bell tower You can see that the entire building has fallen in such a way That all of the rows of seats were collapsed and destroyed by falling rubble But the pulpit, up a couple of steps, that stands almost pristine. I mean, it's heavily covered in snow, and you can see the time has worn at it, but it is untouched by the fallen building.

I'll walk towards the pulpit. On the pulpit, you can see that this is quite obviously was not an original part of the pulpit, but there are two Manacle sets that have been nailed to either side and you can see skeletal hands and arms still stuck inside them Someone died Manacled to the pulpit. Oh wow. I'm guessing a one of the priests or one of my kind. There are claw marks where the hands are.

Quite obviously the person did not appreciate this scenario. Good. There's a bit of rubble here that you could clear away. There might be something underneath it. Yeah, I'll clear away even if it's like who this person might be or if they like had whoever did this like carve some kind of insult or whatever it is you see there is a desiccated corpse beneath the rubble quite clearly the they're armless so quite clearly the person who was manacled to the pulpit it looks like they died

screaming their mouth is open and looking upwards at whatever must have fallen down upon them. In their open mouth, you can see jammed down their throat is some scrunched up note. Why does everybody use throats as a form of communication in this place as I go down and take the note? You open it up. It is worn away with the passage of time. You cannot tell what was ever written on it. Put it back. Scrunch it.

Jack it. Okay. Have a look around. Okay. Head back out. If you're done investigating the town, if you found out about as much as you want to know about this town yeah you can by now the rest of the party is um ready to go i'd uh

like the blacksmithy may be of interest in this in the sense that it's like well it's metal there might be some arms there yeah again it's a cursory cursory look and then yeah, I'll go to the blacksmith and then be like, just maybe tell the others just like, uh, there's not much here, but it looked like that was once a blacksmith. There's definitely nothing in the church.

Maybe there is something here. At the entrance to the blacksmith. There's another red mark on the door and you can see painted in that same red paint on the side. Other can see painted in that same red paint on the side are the words, Strad Rules Total. Do you force your way in? Yeah. Inside there are heaps and heaps and heaps of corpses. It looks like at first they used this place to store the bodies before they spilled out into the streets. I see. Would you like to search among the corpses? I don't think so.

As soon as you open the door, as soon as you force it open, you can feel there's a malevolence here. You don't know if there is dead here who might attack, but you think it's a possibility. I, once again, say a prayer to Penia to head back towards the group. Okay. This is a cursed place. Right.

So, we need to head back to the Lunar Lake. Muriel, are you okay to navigate, or how is your arm? Muriel gently kind of rubs her shoulder, and you can see she still can't talk, but she nods slowly. It's like it's a fresh wound that's making that. Yeah, the tear in her throat was from when she was being mauled by the tree. I could try to heal you a little bit, but I'm trying to conserve a lot of the magics that these places seem to have sucked us all dry off, unless you really need it. She looks a little sheepish and she touches her throat.

It's quite obvious she's worried about it. If I was to do a cure wound, will that cure it? You don't think you could. You think perhaps there's something about the wound that is preventing it from being healed. I think my healing is beyond that. I don't think I can hear that here. I look to Cribbert or anyone else in the party that's like, I'm like, what have you guys got?

Tapos shakes her head and says, Wound, supernatural. I do not think we'll heal. Tapos shakes her head and says wound supernatural I do not think we'll heal ever? perhaps, maybe with miracle she shrugs her shoulders I think not from you well if we survive we can

know their place Tapos puts a hand awkwardly on Muriel's shoulder and says I'm sorry. This might be it though. Muriel nods morosely. Let us head to the Lunar Lake.

Do either of you know which direction? Muriel nods. She turns takes a few steps and then leaps into the air. Mid-leap, she transforms back into a raven and takes flight. Gah! Gah! And everybody, keep your wits about you. The lake?

You make all haste towards Lunar Lake. To be continued... were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members. The further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.