D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #13 This One Dance Anthem (for Tree)

Episode Date: July 29, 2023

They party enjoy the rhythmic stylings of their favour frog as Cribit makes up his 100% original and copyright free dance songs. Hecktor does a bit of maths while Pip impresses everyone with his acrobatic crossbowing.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out Imagination Adventures+ on our website or on Apple Podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Let this one tell that one a tale. The story of great heroes marooned without a sea, stranded in a place of nightmares called Barovia. The antagonist, a creature known as Strahd Von Zarovich. As all great epics, someone must die. Either Strahd or our heroes.

Eventually, it gets close enough for you to see it in its full, shall we say, majesty. It rounds a corner, and instead of seeing just the top of it, you can see the entire creature. When the tree blight rounds that corner, and the treants and the tree blights see each other properly, there is a tremendous... As the tree blight shakes and shudders, the sight of the treants has enraged it.

It's the druid's turn. A lot of them just begin their actions by casting spells that increase the power of the blights around them. Cool. Except Keshgar. Oh, fuck. I forgot Keshgar's here. Keshgar.

Oh, you know what Keshgar does. Actually, I know what Keshgar does. Keshgar leaps out of the tree blight. He falls. At first, you think he's going to change into something. But then he just hits the ground. Oh, that's cool. And scary.

Keshkar's entire front is destroyed. He has been splattered on the road, on the paved road in front of him, partially paved road in front of him and the tree blade. He slowly gets to his feet, and you can see as he moves, the damage begins healing itself instantly. He, any damage, clearly, presumably there are other things that can hurt him permanently, but it looks like wounds

from that spear are the only things that are going to permanently cause damage to him. Okay. Keshgar charges Tarpos, and that's going to be his turn to him. Keshgar charges Tarpos. That's going to be his turn. It's Kribbit's turn. Kribbit, first off, gives you bardic inspiration, Hector. The brave man,

he charged the tree. He ignored the fact it might kill me. Wait, Kribbit, I would never let anything harm you. We want to get up tree now or you

want to charge? I now also have the realization that I also don't know where the sap

heart is. We could have asked. And I'm like, up the tree now. Oh, right.

Also, did you, did they tell us where the tree now oh right also did you did they tell us where the tree heart was not to this one's knowledge Krippet

Krippet takes out a piece of chalk and draws in the air a door oh yeah as he draws the door

you can see in one of the branches on the tree blight a door appears it appears in the tree blight itself. A bunch of smaller blights notice what's happening and they all scatter like they're shocked.

Then Kribbit reaches out with a hand, puts it on the door, looks to you, Hector, and says, Pray for me. Eyes or lows? Eyes. Kribbit, no. Alright, the door opens both

where you are and up there as well. You look through the doorway into the tree itself. This quick way in. I suppose you're right. All right, then it is the many tree blights and the trees turn. Okay. The blights, for their part, aren't taking this lying down. Both Tarpos' attacks, your attacks, Pip, and then also the door.

Maybe it would have been better if Krivit had done this after their turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tree Blights begin streaming through the door. Anytime Krivit uses that door, it's bad news. Oh, Krivit says, they never think to do this. Slow the horse down. Oh, Nelly. I'm going to say

two twig blights and a needle blight make their way through the door. They're going to try to bring down Solar. Oh, fuck. While the twig blights try to bring down Solar, the needle blight, you can see quite obviously the needle blight is issuing commands.

It doesn't say anything, but it moves. It has a mouth, and its mouth moves as if it's saying something, but no words come out. The twig blights try to attach themselves to Solar. One misses, one hits. Solar takes but two, one hits. Solar takes but two points of damage.

Then the needle blight points a hand at you and its hand launches off its arm and comes at you. As it comes at you, it just turns into a ball of needles. Okay, okay, come on. This is how you get that poison that makes you shit out your guts, dude. Nah, that's poison blights

You bring up your shield And the The bowl of needle Blasts through your shield of faith But then thankfully is stopped by the actual Physical shield You look down at the shield And you can see the crest of Krezak

Is completely covered by needles I kinda don't like racists of Krezic is completely covered by needles. Oof. Gotta fuck that place. I kinda don't like racists, I guess. I kinda hate Krezic and everyone in it. Two needle blights in similar fashion fire balls of needles at you, Pip.

Oh, fuck. Two hits. Oh, God. God damn it. I got no magic shield either. Pip, you take two, ten, sixteen points of damage. Okay. Okay. Ow. It's any little tiny, like, damage.

But in games gone by, you're like, oh, whatever, sixteen, I'll cop that, I'll have a little sleep tonight. I'll have a sleep, I'll be fine. No? No? Now I'm like, every point counts. It's fine. Tarpos gets hit three times. Okay. Tarpos has got the only fucking spear that can...

Ay-yi-yi. Tarpos takes 4, 6, 10, 25 points of damage. Maybe they're one of the healing... Maybe. Oh, that's Kribbit. Whoops. Sorry. Sorry, Kribbit. This one doesn't care. This one not even hurt.

Deal 25 damage to me, Adam. Whatever. Alright, Kribbit, if you want... Kribbit, no! 25 points of damage as two needle blights and four twig blights assault her. Then a bunch of the other blights are kind of streaming forward. You're very quickly going to be surrounded. The treants, though, form kind of like a bulwark.

They charge forwards and begin stomping, slamming, and knocking blights aside. The weeping willow, presumably, it seems like this one's kind of their leader, reaches down, grabs one of its branches, crack, tears its branch off, straightens it out, and it looks like a giant dart that's cool the treant leans back

and throws that dart it soars through the air and strikes the tree blight the tree blight does not seem to it doesn't seem to have hurt the tree blight at all it doesn't seem to give a shit but that weeping willow looks significantly at all of you

and gestures at where it threw the dart okay all right cool hell yeah hell it remembers yeah pip on the branch like rubbing eating leaves they were fucking talking a language dude it wasn't tele it wasn't telecommuting. It wasn't telepathy. Pip doesn't know. That's true. That's true. And then the tree blight acts. Oh, fuck, dude. I'm so stressed. Who's near the tree blight? Oh, no. The tree blight tries to step on the weeping willow.

Uh-oh. It's so big. It's massive. That's, oh, my God. Is that a miss? Yeah, the Weeping Willow takes several steps back, and one of the tree blight's massive roots lands right in front of it, but does not touch it.

That is good. Then it is Hector, your turn. Okay. You can try to fight your way through these blights, or you could just... Sorry, you could try to fight these blights, you could try to charge, or you could try to just run through the door if could try to charge, or you could try to just run

through the door if you want. Yeah, let's run through the door. Krippit has miraculously put the door quite close, actually, to where you need to be. Let's just run through the door and close it behind us, I guess. Nice. Oh yeah, true.

Well, you will take you'll need to dismount. The door is too small for Solar. That's fine. I figured we'd jump through it or duck through it, and Solar can just kind of. Well, yeah, I guess you just jump off Solar and try to roll through the, all right. So you'll come out on a branch.

The branch will be big, but you will need to make an acrobatics check to stay on the branch as you roll through. And I can use Kribbit's inspiration. You can, yes. For this. Yeah. Yeah, you're fine.

It's a very deft thing. Even in your heavy armor, you throw yourself over the blights who all kind of slowly watch you. Then you're through the door. You land on the other side. Kribbit still holding on to you tightly. That was cool!

Could not have done it without your help. I'll grab the door and slam it shut. All right, you close the door on the Blights. All right. So I can deal with them. So I can. If Sola dies, they go back to horse health, but it's fine. What else can I do now?

That was my movement and action? That was part of your movement. It was your interaction to close the door. You still have an action. You can stand up and there are blights around you, or you can start swinging to... You can clear your immediate area if you want, though you're not sure how long that's going to stay clear.

Or you can try hacking and whacking. Cool. Poisoning up my sword. Oh, sorry. Po sorry poisoning up my mace is that an action that would be unfortunately your action yes all right then i guess um is it better to use the poison that pip gave us or the poison of cribbit's one hit okay his gives you five hits all right i will poison up my mace And then I will I think that is it I like that neither of us really have a good weapon For digging into a tree

A mace or arrows That's good stuff Good enough, it'll work It would have been best if you had a slashing weapon, yes Well, that's your turn, Hector Then it is Gorob and Lushen's turn Where were they going to go? Who were they going to go? They were going to help.

Who were they going to help? Torposh. Torposh? All right. Gorob and Lushen land next to Torposh. I will save you, my lady. Stop punching me in my gut. It's our gut.

Gorob and Lushen spring into action. Lushen, yes action. Lushen... Oh, yes. Will that work? Yeah. Lushen casts Booming Blade onto Gorub's blade, and it crackles with electricity. They're going to charge the nearest druid. Hell yeah.

Gorub, Lushen start hacking into that druid. That is 20 plus. That's four ones, baby. That's four freaking ones. That is 14 damage. You can't win them all. 14 points of damage. That does not fell a druid, surprisingly enough. You idiot. You can't win them all. 14 points of damage. That does not fell a druid, surprisingly enough.

You idiot! You wasted what I gave you! And it is Eleniel's turn. Eleniel, who is she helping? Also to her back. She's going to stay up in her tree then. She plucks a twig from

the tree ant she's riding on, draws it back in her bow, and as she does so, it turns into an arrow. She fires it, and as it launches its way towards Keshgar, it explodes outwards into vines. Hell yeah. Strikes Keshgar, wraps around him.

Keshgar, completely bound up, falls backwards over. Fuck yes. She also deals Keshgar, Keshgar completely bound up, falls backwards over. She also deals Keshgar. It's only a little bit of damage, but hey, it's not nothing. She deals six points of damage to Keshgar. All right. That was Eleniel's turn. It's back to Tarpos.

Perfect. It's Tarpos' turn. Tarpos, with a big grin, plants one of her boots on Keshgar, and she says something. You can't hear it over the din of combat, but you can hear Keshgar screaming when she drives the spear down into Keshgar over and over and over again. Hell yes.

Good, good, good. Chop me into little bits. You see... Hector, you can't see you're in the tree blight and otherwise occupied. Pip, you can see she is with just the tip of a spear trying to sever Keshka's head from his body. That rules. He's got the vocal rat holding it. She deals 10, 21 points of damage.

That is not enough to yet behead him, but damn, she did a lot in a small amount of time. She'll take care of it. She's going to behead Kashgar big time. We've got to get the big tree. She's like, whatever you do, you. I kind of hear my own business. Pip, it's your turn. Okay, can I make the jump across now?

Oh, onto the tree blight? Yeah, you absolutely can. All right. I will leap across onto the tree blight. All right. You're successful. Okay. You get a little bit of a run-up even.

You land on the tree blight and you could begin climbing. You have a climb speed, right? Is it the same as your movement speed? I think so. So you begin climbing. Oh, you have a climb speed, right? Is it the same as your movement speed? I think so. So you begin climbing. Oh, you have a movement speed of 35. I didn't realize that.

Yeah, you are. You begin climbing your way up to, you can get, well, I mean, like being, okay, I'll give you an option. You can get to a branch and you can have your bow and fire like a little bit from a ways away. Or you can get right to it. You'll be one-handed because one hand needs to stay on the tree, but you can just plug your fucking thing right into it and start

firing. Yeah, let's do that. I'll give you advantage on this. Do a good thing. You add advantage. First two are hits. You deal. Actually, Adam, can I use this Maybe it's not worth it actually

I have one of my goodbye cards To cast a cantrip that I don't know And I want to use true strike To just give me the best possible It wouldn't have helped You deal maximum damage You got two tens baby Hell yes

That's a total of 26 points of damage to the tree blight. Dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk. Good job. How many hit points does the tree blight have again? Oh, no! It's one of my favorite Adam gags, and it never fails to amuse me. I love it. All right, that was Pip, your turn.

It's the druid's turn. Keshgar tries to Free himself Fucks it up Keshgar screams And then druids Begin trying to Converge on him

Tarpos It's very funny It is This guy is bound up Trying to like Shiver his way free Slashing his neck up Water spear

As he moves Side to side He's going to Bow at himself The druids are moving To try and protect Keshgar. Tapos takes 11 points of poison damage as one of the druids throws a ball of poison, surprisingly enough, at her. But that is the druids' turn for now.

There are some druids in the tree blight, and Hector, you can see they are directing the higher level blights to attack, to direct other smaller blights to attack you and Pip. Like they're the fucking tree blights immune system or something. You got to start at the highest level, work your way down. And it is Kribbit's turn. Kribbit hops off your back and looking at the many blights around you, he begins, Eight Kribbits! Hopps off your back And looking at the many blights around you He begins Ay, eat Kribbit

Kribbit does a little dance Ay, eat Kribbit Want to dance with him Several of the Little twig blights Only the smallest ones are affected by this But several of them You can see like a cat looking at a dangling piece of string.

They stop and they're just looking at Kribbit. Some of them begin letting go of the tree and trying to dance, but because they were climbing the tree, they fall as they let go. That's so funny. Not all of the tree blights, but Kribbit does significantly thin the horde. Awesome. Unfortunately, Kribbit starts slowing down, looking like, I did well. But when he slows down,

those tree blights kind of like, they're shaking themselves out of some sort of charm. And then Kribbit's like, oh, okay, I keep dancing. Awesome. Here is Kribbit. He will need to do, he needs to spend his entire turn dancing

if he does anything else the tree blights will the twig blights sorry will resume alright well hey that's you've occupied like

a good portion of their army with hot hot dance and then it is the trees and the blights turn so the twig blights are in an the twig blights in an area are distracted But not all of them are distracted First off, Tarpos Who has to cop the three twig blights

And then the two vine Oh no, that's a critical hit I hate when that happens Alright, we'll do the regular hit from the vine From the needle blight first She tanks Woo, 11 points of damage Turn into a bear Do a hit from the vine from the needle blight first. She tanks. Woo!

11 points of damage. Turn into a bear. Turn into a bear and get out of there. Nah, she's killing. She's killing. She's beheading. She's killing this motherfucker. Yeah, fair enough.

Turn into a bear and bite him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the twig blight. Pray for a low number. Oh, that's a high number. You prayed wrong. It always happens. Just like being in Sunday school all over again.

Here comes Kribbit. It's catchy. Oh, dude. Like everything Kribbit does, it's a jam. All right, that is slashing damage. Terrifying slash. Maximum damage on the target. Must make a DC 16 wisdom saving throw.

On a failed save, they are threatened of a twig blight. That's so embarrassing. She's got a good wisdom save. They are little. It's scary. What if I get into my mouth? She passes the saving throw, but she will still take 5 points of damage, putting her on 15.

Oh boy. Doki doki. Then, Hector, two needle blights fire at you. Okay. Fucking needle blights. Okay, okay. One miss, one hit. Okay.

I would like to, Adam, as my reaction, cast a shield on myself. That's not going to help, unfortunately. Oh. Oh, wait. Actually, is shield plus five? Sure is. Okay. Oh, wait. Actually, is shield plus five? Sure is. Okay, no. You'd have a total of 23.

No, that would miss that. Okay. All right, you're fine. Perfect. Okay, yeah. How am I doing? You look over in a poison blight. It's crawling its way towards you.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. It's nighttime. Huh? It's nighttime. It'll happen instantly. The poison. You don't get to wait, buddy.

If it gets you, you're in trouble. Uh-oh. That's good to hear. I'm going to shit my guts out. Oh, you're lucky. It gets a total of four. Oh, fuck it all. Oh, fuck it all.

And the treants begin just scattering their way through the different types of blights. They're stomping. They're fighting as best they can. But you can see, similarly to how they're crawling all over the tree blight, they begin climbing up and crawling all over the treants as well. You can see that they're tearing at the treants and trying to cut them to ribbons, basically. That's so upsetting. The treants are holding firm for now, but you can

see several of them are becoming bloodied. As the blights begin tearing bark off the treants, you can see that they're oozing sap, like they're bleeding, basically. Eleniel screams out in horror and fury.

And anything else? Oh yeah, and then the tree blade. So, 1, 2, 3 for Pip, 4, 5, 6 for Hector. No, 1, 2, Pip, 3, 4, Hector, 5, 6, Kribbit. Oh no, not Kribbit! I'll die a million deaths before I let

Kribbit suffer. I'll die a million deaths before I let Krivit suffer. I'll die a million deaths before I let Krivit take one point of damage. Hector, it's you. Oh, thank God, it's not Krivit. Oh my God. Does my, I guess, so when I, again, the reaction of shield, that was only for that attack, isn't it? No, it's for until your next turn, I think. Oh, good, good, good. So you have an AC of 23.

Good to hear, good to hear, good to hear. Yeah, the tree blight, however, has a plus 12 to hit. Oh, fuckaroo. Oh, fuckaroonie. Yeah, no. You're in trouble. Yeah, sick. You take...

Oh, do I now? Yeah. Okay. One of its roots comes up and slams into you. You take 18 points of damage. And then... I don't like the and then. Yeah, and then.

Oh, yeah, we're not done. And then... Does it grab you? Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. And then the root tries to wrap itself around you. That misses. Had it hit, it would have started dragging you

into its mouth. I don't want that. Then it is Hector, your turn. Okay. I'm sorry, this is going to involve some math. Okay. So, for my bonus action, I would like to hexblade curse the

tree blight. So that just gives me plus three damage, and I score critical hit on a 19 or a 20. I would then like to cash in my good boy card, Careful Aim. All attack rolls you make this round are with advantage. Okay. I was figuring that might happen. So I'm going to do that. So I've also got Sacred Weapon, which gives me the plus five to attack.

And I would like to, coded in poison, attack twice. You hit twice. Neither of them are criticals. Bullshit. And I would like to. Sorry, Bob. Expend a second level spell

and then a first level spell smiting this creature. It's a mace, right? Yeah. I haven't done this in a while because I've been so careful and had no magic. So I guess that is an extra 5d8. That's radiant damage though, right?

Yeah, but it's all because of my magic sword is currently magic mace is poisoned. Yes. So it all does damage. Yes, that is correct. Right? Cool. Be here. That is 16 points of regular damage. Okay.

And then the radiant damage is unfortunately going to be quotation marks, but it does hurt. Okay. Okay. 24. All right. 24 points of quotation marks damage. Okay. Still a fair frickin' whack.

Okay. Is there an end to that? Oh, I just did the sacred weapon, and that do anything? It hurt. Yeah, you begin hacking. You begin splintering bark and breaking wood. The tree blade does not bleed sap. It bleeds blood. Oh, dear.

As where sap or liquid of any sort would be in a tree, the tree blight instead has blood, and it begins oozing that blood out of the wound. Is the blood thick like sap, or is it like... No, it's like human blood. Okay, gross. Is blood thick like sap, or is it like... No, it's like human blood. Okay, gross.

You smell that characteristic coppery smell of blood. I don't know if you've ever seen this much blood before, if your character has ever seen this much blood before all at once. So it is kind of maybe an overwhelming smell to have so much blood before you at once. It feels like the tree blade is half tree, half meat.

It's unpleasant. Very deeply unpleasant. Okay. Was there anything else, Hector? I honestly thought I would be doing more, but that's it. Yeah, so did I, to be honest. Gorub and Lushen, they're going to start trying to thin the druid herd off Tarbos.

Distantly, you hear, We will save you, lady. We? What help have you been? Critical fail. They should have been doing more swinging. They should have been paying attention. Yeah, come on.

Less wooing, more doing. Come on. That rulesing, more doing. Come on. That rules. That's good. Cramp. You take a D4 penalty on your next attack roll. They would get a cramp. Hark, the sound of a cramp.

They nonetheless hit, and because they were attacking the druid that they were attacking last turn, that druid has already taken enough damage to they kill one of the many druids that is a good hey that however

has a spill on effect that druid is no longer giving orders to that needle blight who's no longer giving orders to those twig blights

and a bunch of the you see distantly a bunch of blights in like a little circle become confused and stop attacking Tarpos is not going to get hit this turn Good that's great

It's Eleniel's turn Screaming she begins striking at the blights Affecting the treants She is furious at the very idea Yeah that's true Makes sense Little mockeries of god fighting god She leans up and fires arrows

Up high into the air. As they arc downwards, they begin exploding into hails of thorns. The thorns scatter themselves over the treants. The treants are not harmed, thankfully. Either they're immune or

Eleniel just can't hurt them. Perhaps. You're not 100% sure. But the thorns do indeed begin explosively knocking the blights off the trance. It is Tarpos' turn. Okay. Come on. Bad him, Tarpos. It's, oh my god.

Tarpos. She misses on the second attack. Fuck. Too full of fury. Fair enough. First attack deals 10 points of damage And then it is

Pip's turn Okay, I've still got that poison blight, right? Yeah I will fire a pinning shot At the poison blight Can I try and fire it in such a way that it gets pinned to another part of the tree? Now, how are you firing? Like a

Well, how was you firing? Well, I go... Oh, fuck. Well, how was I firing before into the... I guess I was just hacking with the arrow. So, there... No, no, no, no. You had an arrow... You had a bolt loaded. Yeah, okay.

So, you were able to fire that one. Now, let me propose for you a situation. Yeah. That javelin is stuck into the tree blight. You don't know how secure it is Okay But you could wrap an arm around it And use it to hold yourself up as you reload

Well yeah I guess that's right where I am isn't it Yep Alright yeah I'll try and do that Alright Highs or lows? Let's go highs baby Highs? Yeah

Go lows I go lows then Alright you're fine That was also mercifully short as well Remember when I keep going up and down I just burned through it Yeah it was good Okay yeah I go yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah Alright and you don't take penalties for firing at point blank range Your first attack is a critical miss God fucking damn it Pray for a low number Low low low low low low number You can stop praying Did I do it? And

Delayed recovery You do not add your damage bonus to your next attack You're in such a panic When you miss You're in such a panic that when you crank the crossbow For the second attack You just don't crank it all the way. It's not fully loaded.

You do fire and you do hit. The poison blight takes four points of damage. Okay. Does it get pinned, though, to some other part of the tree? Oh, you fight a pinning shot. Yeah. All right. You pin the poison blight to the tree blight.

Now, because you're in melee range, the poison blight can still kind of reach out for you unless you want to climb up onto the javelin. That's kind of what I was thinking of doing. You're going to need to make an acrobatics check because it's thin enough that you need to kind of balance yourself. Alright, you're fine.

Here's the problem. From now on, to load, you're going to have to take both hands off the tree blight Balance on just my feet You can lean against the tree blight But you're not holding onto the tree blight As you reload Yep, yep, yep, yep

Good stuff Very exciting Alright, so that was your turn Pip It is the druid's turn Keshgar frees himself Keshgar laughing stands up

and well that's unfortunately his turn but still he's free and then the rest of the druids

are going to attack Gorob Lush and a bunch of them have arrived on the scene something like that that is hit hit

hit hit uh oh uh oh of them have arrived on the scene. Something like that. That is hit, hit, hit, hit. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. A little rage. Tough little barbarian boys. It's going to be okay. 10, 20,

23, 27 points of damage. Gorob and Lushen have been surrounded and are being stabbed and attacked from different angles with spears and poison bolts Gorob and Lushen

swing around wildly trying to hit, trying to throw back the druids swarm on them grab them and you can both see Gorob and Lushen being picked up and dragged into the group of the druids are dragging them into the blights. Oh, fuck.

Okay. Unhand us! Rage and get out of there. We've got those, like, what's it called? Thunder whatever? One of those annoying spells that people can sometimes... Thunderwave. This is a perfect time for Thunderwave.

The spell here, like, I don't know what to do. I'm surrounded by enemies. I'm also in the cave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect spell. It's Kribbit's turn. Kribbit looks at you, Hector, and says, keep dancing. What's around us?

So if he's- Many tree blights. Uh-huh. And there is a druid getting closer. Oh, sorry, many blights. I keep saying tree blights. Many blights. There's two needle blights near you

You can see a poison blight near Pip But there are, in addition to that You cast your gaze around You can see that there is A vine blight making its way towards you as well That's kind of the Highest one that isn't tree blight Is making its way towards you

And there are several There are several more poison blights. I mean, literally four, making their way towards Pip that he can't see. Uh-oh. Sort that out for me. Yeah, right. Well, what else can Kribbit do?

Kribbit can buff. Kribbit can deal psychic damage. Is that poison damage? Well he is a poison frog What? Kribbit can cast poison damage When did you learn that Kribbit?

Cheeky little boy When you cast a spell you inscribe a glyph that later unleashes a magical effect Oh it takes an hour to cast, never mind It's basically like a... He creates basically a trap that you go off. Yeah. It takes an hour to cast, though, so never mind about that. He can make people invisible.

He can do a little bit of healing. A little bit of teleporting. And then he's got his own weapon. Just trying to think. So keep dancing, keep those little blights away from us. You could try and buff the two of us. What's the big

tree and blight looking like? How are we close to the heart and all the... All you know, and this is going to sound funny, it's not bloodied. I guess it's hard to tell when you're on it. Yeah. I don't know. I guess keep dancing. going to sound funny it's not bloodied i guess it's hard to tell when you're on it too yeah yeah

yeah i don't know i guess keep dancing yeah keeping them away from us because if he has like yeah do you have anything like a big spell or something like that can can clear a decent amount of uh damage to people or get him to not really no yeah he could do mantle of inspiration to give four creatures temporary hit points. Keep dancing, I guess. We'll keep that in our back pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to keep them twig blights occupied. Kribbit continues to dance.

It is the blights and the treants turn. The treants continue fighting with the blights. All right. The treants are holding their own, but the blights are doing slowly more and more damage. You can see the treants are just kind of beginning to slow down at this point. And then twig blights begin swarming Gorobloshen. Is this the end for Gorobloshen?

Hit. That's a big powerhouse. I know. I keep expecting them to rage their way out of it, but maybe they're already raging. I don't know. The poison blight near you, Pip, tries desperately to reach at you,

but it can't get to you. The poison blights you can't see continue to make their way towards you, but they don't get there this round. Okay. And the two needle blights try to fight you, Hector. One hit. Okay.

You going to shield it? How many spells I got left? I got that many spells left, and I'm worried about the pink boy. Get needled. Just get needled. Yeah, let's get needled. You take 12 points of damage. Fuck.

Which puts you on 19. Yeah. So many hit points. So healthy. So healthy. Party, hail, and fit. Yep. Then, a pile of loose vines fall on the branch next to you,

and then the vine blight that was coming after you slowly begins standing up out of them. Vine blight is probably going to be a fucking hassle for you, just letting you know. It is, yeah, it's your turn, Hector. Um, okay, okay, okay. Let's see. I Hector. Um, okay. Okay. Okay. Let's see.

I want to call out to Pip. There is four more poison blights coming your way. Oh, God. Um, and then... Ugh. Do I just attack twice, I guess? Yeah. Dude, you don't want to fucking tussle with a vine blight. It's like, uh, maybe I'll just call out to Pip. Um, keep fighting tussle with a vine blight. It's like, maybe I'll just call out to Pip.

Keep fighting the big one or a vine blight. Vine blight, I think. Vine blight, vine blight. I got the big one. I got the big one. Okay. All right. Do I have anything cold on me?

No. But I do. All right. I will swing at the vine blight Okay Twice Two poisoned attacks Both hit

Excellent Oh you're not doing Oh is that it? Oh my god Jesus Christ That's so funny Fucking hell I've got a limited amount

of magic here my dude Sorry that just blew my mind Well the On the bright side The poison will deal extra damage to this vine blight. Okay. So you deal... 22, 27...

Yeah, 27, 30. You deal 30 points of damage to the vine blight. Nicely done. The vine blight is badly damaged. It's bloodied, but it's not stopped. Okay. That's not stopped. Okay. That's not good to hear. Then that was Hector.

Anything else? No. Gore of Lushen's turn. They begin raging. Finally. Finally. They only get them back on a long rest. Oh, no.

Fair enough. Fair enough. Then Lushen tries with a shaking hand because adrenaline's racing through him right now to cast a spell. Actually he's not going to cast a spell to buff

Gorub's attacks, but he is going to cast Burning Hands, which douses all of the twig blights around him. They I'm just rolling to see if... Yeah, even on a hot... He... He creates a massive crater.

Anywhere where the burning hands happen, I don't think they could have survived. Bonfire, baby. He also ignites several of the druids. Oh, fuck yeah. Who will take 12, 18, 23 points of damage. That rolls. That... Oh, and then Gorub. Oh, fuck yeah. Who will take 12, 18, 23 points of damage. That rolls. Oh, and then Gorub.

Oh my god. One, two. Gorub finishes off two druids. I knew we didn't need to be concerned about this. Gorub, Lushen land on the ground and begin charging their way back towards Tarpos. Elaniel. Great job. With Elaniel's help the treants are

kind of pushing the blights back they're starting to win that rolls that's good that's good you just hear every now and then

an explosion and thorns scattering around the place I imagine the branch I'm on is so shaky I mean the sort of spear I'm on

this javelin yeah it is Tarpos's turn okay ranch I'm on is so shaky. I mean, the sort of spear I'm on. This javelin, yeah. It is Tarpos's turn. Okay. Nice! Everyone's fucking nailing it. This is our comeback. Holy fucking shit, it might be.

19... 22... Jesus fucking Christ. Keshka's head Hits the ground Tarpos screams In delight Oh my god Keshka's body

Picks up Keshka's head Of course And he continues to fight Okay I guess you Take out his jaw Kesha's head. Of course. And he continues to fight. Okay. Then it... How do you... I mean, I guess you'd like take out his jaw. Yeah.

Take out his fingers. Absolutely. And then I guess he can't cast anything? Just chop... He can't cast anything with a verbal component. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. That's true.

He can't make noise. Oh, that's true. She's going to take his head, tie it to a belt. Oh, she's going to to a belt That is her plan She wants his head Glad to hear it Pip it's your turn You need to make an acrobatics check

You pass You manage to You can stay on the thing And then I'll sort of drop down Onto my knots Drop down and just twang, twang. You hit twice? I'd like to make...

Can I make both of them a precise shot? What does that do again? Gives me advantage. I'm just trying to get a critical here, basically. Nope. Damn. Nope. I'm sorry.

That's okay, whatever. Does it deal extra damage? No. No. I'm sorry. It's okay. I knew the risks going in. That... Oh, well, you get nearly maximum damage, though, so.

And the first one does 11. The second one does 13 points of damage. Nice. Can I, like, does it seem like I'm making it through the wood? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, awesome. You're doing good damage. The tree blight is bleeding heavily

from the wounds that you have inflicted upon it. You hear Kribbit calling out from where Hector is. Oh dear, there it is. All of you look around and you can see, you didn't realize it, but the tree blight's been moving this entire time and hasn't stopped. You can see Valakai.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Fuck. It is. That was. We've got to stop it before we get into the borders of Valakai.

Oh, fuck. I didn't even think that. If we get into the borders of Valakai, we will start dying. Well, not everyone. Someone's going to be fine. All of your friends will fucking die. But a gogash gets caught, I guess. Yeah, that's true.

Krivit continues to dance. It is the treants and the blights turn. Oh, my God. The treants are beginning to win. They're starting to push. The treants and the regular blights are actually now behind, well behind the tree blight. The tree blight has kind of pulled ahead.

There are still blights on the tree blight itself, but anything else has been, the tree blight has kind of just pushed past the treants. It's making a beeline for Valar Guy. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And the blights, so the blight that you pinned is still pinned. Four poisonous blights show up. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Miss, miss, hit, hit. Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm about to be in real trouble. You will take six and then six points of damage. So a total of 12.

Okay. And the poison? Yeah, so about that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. You need to make two constitution checks. It's a low saving throw.

Am I near him enough to help out there? I'd say no. Your aura is not good enough. All right. You're too far away. All right. So you pass the first one, but you fail the second one by one point. Oh, fuck.

Do you have anything? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. What does the cantrip guidance do? Does that give me a... It gives you a plus D4, I think, to some things. Hang on.

I got an idea. I got an idea. Oh, yeah? One ability check. Is this an ability check? All right. I, out of nowhere, cast spell Guidance using this cantrip. Now, the card does say follow the spell's normal rules.

It should count as an action, but I'm going to give you... Okay, that's very kind of you, Adam. You pass. Okay, thank God. Just a little bit of magic from somewhere, don't worry about it. Bit made of magic very once, it's coming back. Okay. You pass your saving throw

You are thankfully not poisoned I'm so terrified of this poison It makes you shit your whole guts out It's so scary The two needle blights both fire fists at you, Hector They explode near you But neither of them actually hit you You're just buffeted by little needles

Which cut and sting But don't really hurt you The vine blight attacks Oh yeah It's gonna hit It puts up both of its hands Lunges towards you Are you gonna cast shield?

I just I can either do hellish rebuke Or I could do shield It is bloodied So you know that hellish rebuke has a chance of actually killing it But you will have to take the damage Yeah and I'm not on a heap of health I will cast shield

Alright It falls upon you I mean literally right. It falls upon you. I mean, literally, it kind of falls upon you, and its viney hands begin kind of stringing themselves apart, wrapping themselves around your neck, and you can see it would have tried to force itself down your throat and around your neck. The shield around your body prevents you from actually being strangled,

but you can see the vines tightening their way around your neck, and you can see the ones that were trying to force themselves down your throat kind of pushing up against that magical energy being just barely stopped. You absolutely, this thing absolutely would have choked you to death. There it is. Alright. Then it is... Oh, the tree blade!

Actually, no, sorry, it's not attacking because it's spending... It's moving? It's sprinting! Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reason it hasn't been doing a lot of attacks is because it's sprinting towards Valakai. Good to hear. And then it is Hector, your turn.

I will attack this vine blight vice. Okay. Hit, hit? Perfect. Just doing regular attacks? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The hex weapon. All right.

Your first attack will still count for poison, but your second attack, unfortunately, the poison has run out. Ah. You only get five hits, and I think you've done five hits. Right. Yep, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I was thinking it was like turns. Oh, no, no, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, I was thinking it was like, turns. Oh, no, no, no, five hits.

Ah, sick. Yeah. Okay. Cool. You got cribbit, though, if you need some quick poison. You deal 12 points of damage to the vine blight, which is enough. Excellent. The vine blight is destroyed.

You batter it into the ground and kill it. Oh, no, cribbit, I'm going to need you to... I'm going to need your poisons. Okay. Kribbit, stop dancing or you just rub on Kribbit. I think I can rub on you. Okay. That was Hector.

Did you want anything else? That's all I can do, correct? Yes, that's all I can do Well, you can Actually, you can rub on Kribbit this turn You can only use it with an You need an interaction to do it Oh, perfect

I'll rub on Kribbit this turn Then I'll hit, rub, hit Yeah, nice, nice Good rhythm, I guess Yeah, yeah, yeah It's Gora Blushin's turn They've discovered that Burning Hands is really good. So they're going to keep using Burning Hands.

Nice. Good for them. They are... Look, I'm not even going to roll 5d6 and it's double damage. Oh, fuck. Yeah, okay. The Blights are not going to be an issue for Goroblushan and Tarapos. The two of them, three of them, do not need to worry about Blights.

They're focusing on Druids right now. And then it is Eleniel's turn. With the Treants doing so well, Eleniel fires another in Staring Arrow at Keshgar. That hits. Keshgar hits the ground again. Does he drop his head? Yes. It's Tarpos' turn. Wow. T he drop his head? Yes.

It's Tarpos' turn. Wow. Tarpos picks up the head. Awesome. She ties it to her belt. That rolls. Great. Pip.

Okay. I am going to, because I'm basically sharing this javelin with four poison blights now. No, they're climbed on the side. They can crawl. Okay. Never mind. i guess how do i have a gauge of how many more shots are necessary to break through to the

the uh it is it's not actually technically bloodied but it's one hit point away from being bloodied okay that's fine uh all right if I did a scatter shot, would that hit the poison blights as well? You could hit the group of four if you wanted to. Would that also hit the tree? It would, yes. Okay, I'll do that. Scatter shot. Load them in like they were fucking... You just pour

a bunch of bolts into the top. Quang! You hit, hit, hit uh one of them is a critical miss so we'll get to that in a second we'll say that i'll be kind and say that that one was the last one you hit three of the poison blights miss a fourth we'll get to that in a minute. And you hit the tree as well. So the poison blights. What's a poison blights max hit point again? That's one down, two down, three down. Yeah.

All right. Then the tree blight. You deal 10 points of damage to the tree blight. Nice. It's now bloodied. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

And then let's pray for a low number. Low number, low number, low number Low number Low number Low number I keep on fucking Criticalling Opposite way Yeah I know It's very frustrating

I'm very sorry I got that Advanced critical Where it's like a 19 And a 20 Is a critical hit And it's helped me All at once

Oh I didn't know that I'm so sorry Oh that's okay You've absolutely Done that several times I forgot I'm so sorry That's okay

You know what? I'll give you a critical. This attack on the tree blight, I'll give you that as a critical. All right, man. Kind of a little bit. No, more than makes up for it. You get a lot to remember.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I cast that thing and I'm like, I also get a 1920 on the big boy. Haven't had the chance to hit that big boy. It's just, what's going on?

There's a lot of stuff happening. You'll deal half damage on your next attack. I won't count this as the next attack. No worries, no worries. Pray for a high number. High, high, high, high, high, high. God. Jackson.

I fucked up. Pray better. I'm bad at prayer. God hates you, maybe. I think he does. Find an opening. Maximum damage and you have advantage on your next attack against the target.

So your next attack against the tree blight will have advantage and you deal maximum damage. So, oh, so you didn't deal 10 points of damage. You dealt 6, 6, 12, 22. You dealt 25 points of damage. Hell yeah. Wow, yeah, you're doing well. Okay. All right.

All right. That was Pip. That was your turn. It's the druid's turn. They're kind of being thinned out too much by Goroblush, and otherwise they're directing blights to attack the two of you. It's Kribbit's turn. Kribbit continues to dance.

It's the— He got the little twig bites in quite a rhythm at this point. Yeah, yeah. That's good. And da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-hmm. It's the... So you got the little twig bites in quite a rhythm at this point? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good. And da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Hey, Macarena. He's bringing it back. He's bringing the Macarena back, baby.

The tree blights begin scattering. Between the treants and Gorob Lushen, the blights are actually being kind of decimated, destroyed. They're scattered and have begun fleeing at this point. Enough of their higher ranking ones are gone that it just looks like it's going to be a treant victory here. Some of the treants begin turning their attention

to druids. One of the druids is squashed underneath the treant. Good, good, good, good, good. And then the last poison blight attacks you, Pip. That's right. Fuck. It misses.

The other one that you pinned is still stuck. Okay. The two needle blights attack you, Hector. One of them is going to hit. Do you want a shield? What is the average damage of one of these bad boys before? I don't know. It's 2d6 plus 2.

2d6 plus 2. 2d6 plus 2. So the average would be 6, 7, 9. The average would be 9 points of damage. Could go as high as 14. Could go as low as 4. Yeah. I'll cop it. I'll cop it.

I'll cop it. 7, 9 points of damage. Hey, that's the average. That's the average, baby. He's crazy. This is good stuff. And then the vine blight attacks. The, that's the average. That's the average, baby. He's crazy. This is good stuff. And then the vine blight attacks. The vine blight's dead.

Oh, you did kill it. Yeah, yeah, vine blight. That's right. Too bad. Another vine blight crawls up. You look up at one of the druids who gives you a big thumbs up in irony. Fuck. Adam.

That being said, also, once again, you can see another swarm of poison blights are making their way towards Pip. Hector, it's your turn. There's more poison blights I call out to Pip. There's another five poison blights making their way

towards Pip. I register, but I don't even respond. I'm too busy. It's so close to Valakai Attack the tree Int the tree Attack the tree blight twice Come on Hit, hit

Neither of them are critical hits unfortunately You, I did remember, you have genuinely not gotten a critical hit And yeah, you Touch Kribbit in between. Touch Kribbit. Touch Kribbit. Touch Kribbit. Do you want to use any special abilities for this? No.

You're so defeated, and I love it. You deal 12 points of damage. I need to save that one for the shield for the vine blade, Adam. You're so close. Both of you have made like a cavity that you could actually walk, actually yeah, no, you could walk on bloody wood.

You could walk to each other at this point. Okay. Can I get in there? Yeah, absolutely. I'm assuming you kind of have to. Yeah, I just want to try and make it harder for the other blights or whatever to try and hit me. If I get in there, I'm getting some cover.

Alright, that was your turn, Hector. It's Gorob Lushen's turn. They and Tarpos and the Treants are kind of like finishing things off. It is Eleniel's turn. She's going to direct her attention to you lot and try and give you some help now. Good, nice. She fires another ensnaring strike.

She hits the vine blight. Thorny vines wrap around the vine blight and it topples over backwards. Nice. And then it is, uh, Tarpos is part of that. I'm saying that's a, basically that's a different combat at this point. Yeah.

Pip, it's your turn okay I have the poison blights come upon me yet no they'll they'll be on you on next turn okay I'll try and get in the hole as well

and keep firing still two shots you no longer need to make checks to stay balanced yeah yeah yeah I've got advantage in this one

yeah I've got advantage in this one but you do too yeah but you'll do half damage but I'll do half damage yeah

is your weapon still poisoned I don't think it is I don't think it is not anymore But you'll do half damage Is your weapon still poisoned? Uh I don't think it is anymore Do you want to poison it up? If you have any poison? I don't think I have any poisons left Yeah, unfortunately

I'm trying to think what I could do Start rubbing Crivet, come back in Crivet's too far away Can I just try and quick and dirty Get some of the Go out there, start rubbing, come back in. It's too far away. Can I just try and quick and dirty get some of the... Because I've still got some plant's bane, some treant poison.

Can I just rub some of that on my arrow, not even really making a potion, just a little bit of poison on it for half damage maybe? I would allow it for half damage, yes. Alright, so this first attack is going to be quarter damage. It's a hit. Second right, so this first attack is going to be quarter damage. Yeah, yeah. It's a hit.

Okay. Second attack, also a hit. All right. So first damage is quarter damage. That's eight. You deal two points of damage. Okay. And then nine, which halves to four. So you deal a total of six more points of damage.

Whatever, I'll take it. You're getting close. Yeah. You're doing really well. You can actually, you, both of you, could probably see the tip of this gem now.

I don't know if you have, no, no, you haven't seen an example of this yet. But imagine like a giant teardrop made out of amber. Hell yeah.

It's beginning to be uncovered. You can see it. It is Kribbit's turn. Kribbit continues to dance. It is the tree, Treant's and the Blight's turn. It is Kribbit's turn. Kribbit continues to dance. It is the tree trance and the blight's turn. Well, the blight's basically at this point. The tree blight steps over the boundary wall of Valakai. What do I do?

The tree blight is in Valakai. Both of you turn around outside of the bloody holes that you've made in the tree blight. You can see the blue water in. The tree blight is making a beeline for it. The tree blight knows where the organizational head of the Were-Ravens in Valakai is and it is making it's directly heading there The Tree Blight's gonna be there so fucking quickly

The entire Mardukov family it's night time, they're asleep Oh fuck dude They are not expecting this No one's expecting this. ......... To be continued... D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests,

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