D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #15 A Good Question

Episode Date: August 12, 2023

The party has a brief crash course in history as we learn where it all went wrong. Hecktor finds out a surprising fact about Strahd while Pip’s slumber is interrupted by his biggest fear. Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out Imagination Adventures+ on our website or on Apple Podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Although you see no water from miles around, we are nevertheless marooned. Stranded in this nightmare called Barovia. To change metaphors, we are imprisoned. The mist that surrounds us are our prison bars, and Baron von Strahd our warden. As far as I can tell, there's no escape except

death, either his or ours. Well, I mean, I hope Woken is okay. Yeah, he's doing really well. Oh. Not well enough to join us, though.

Probably not, but I would like to have a conversation. Perhaps before we head off, a brief rendezvous. Yeah. Yep. I might head to bed. Well, when he goes to bed. Eleniel, do you mind taking me to Woken? Yes, I can do this this She gets up and leads you

You probably don't know the Slavage Woods as well as Pip knows the Slavage Woods So you have not yet, I mean, even Pip still probably couldn't navigate his way to Eleniel's little campsite But you definitely have no chance You're still quite in the figuratively and literally in the woods on this one but eventually yes you do arrive at eleniel's little makeshift camp when you get there you can see there is a dull flickering of light a hidden campfire that when you get closer you can see uh yender is tending to and also a well i was about to say a man you don't know but you do know of him at the very least keening sits crouched cross-legged at the at the

fire as well he's poking at it with a stick and he's got kind of like a far-off expression they both look at you as you approach question wouldb would have come with? Not if Pip's not going Okay Yeah, fair enough Just wondering Tarpos Oh yeah, yeah, yeah Well, Tarpos wouldn't do anything Unless

Unless provoked Tarpos wouldn't do anything Unless prompted to And Gorobloshen aren't going anywhere Without Tarpos If they If they They've noticed us

Yeah, they've noticed you As you approach Maybe Keening stands up Dusts off his chaps And sticks out his Remaining approach. Maybe Keening stands up, dusts off his chops, and sticks out his remaining hand and says, Keening. Hector, nice to meet you. I've heard a little bit about you already.

I've heard a little bit about you as well. A lot of good work you've been doing around here. Sometimes I feel it is not enough. But thank you. Is it ever. Keening's so cool. I wasn't trying to do that no that was genuine do you mind if I

take a seat I've been wanting to talk to you ever since I knew you were alive at first he gestures with the stump. Then you see he stops for a second, or he's about to gesture with his stump. And then he stops himself and gestures with his other hand, or his hand.

And you all sit down. Eleniel does not join you. She just stands in the clearing and you can see she's wandering around doing something. You're not sure. Do you have much history with that one? Eleniel, yeah. I didn't know her very well specifically, but I knew her people. Or I know her people, I should say.

Hmm. Yes. She's a good woman. She is. Heard, I guess everybody thought you were dead. Yeah, I thought I was dead myself for a little while. Sorry we didn't arrive in time. I gestured to his hand, or lack thereof. Heh, uh, you were too late well before this, he says.

Fair enough. So, um, do you know of Madame Eva, I take it? Uh, yeah, I'm acquainted with her. I think you are one of many cards that she's drawn for me. Your face appeared on one of them. He doesn't say anything, he just grunts to that one. You can see he turns back to the fire, there's something in his eyes. So you did your research about Strahd?

Did as best as I could. Truth to tell, I suppose there was a little gung-ho about the whole thing. Uh, you have to excuse me, I see evil, I hunt evil. I was, uh, raised the same. Mm. Leap without looking.

Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely guilty on that one. Words of the feather, I guess. Well, hopefully it may be this time, and I'm assuming there's going to be a this time. We do our research a little better. Well, I do not want to remain here. So, yes, I think hands have been twisted by fate here. So some of the things that I have noticed that I guess no one else has really been talking about The dead don't die

Well, they die But the souls do not leave this place Yeah, I had an inkling on such a thing Wouldn't say I'm the sort of person who has a formal education in the way of magic But you could say I went through a bit of a crash course when I was young. Fair enough. Intriguing. While I couldn't describe for you exactly what was happening, I could describe what it feels like, certainly. Yes, right. You're naturally gifted with magic.

Yeah. It comes as breathing comes to some people, manipulating the weave comes to me. That's right. I had a friend like you back home. They would say a few words and a couple of gestures and out would come a fireball. And I would say a prayer and the same thing would basically happen.

He would often ask, what is the difference? So, dead do not die, or at least their souls do not leave this place. And I, in some weird circumstance, ventured into that realm. There is a lot of dead, which means there is a lot of bodies, which means there is a lot of equipment and resources that I do not think have been claimed. Yes and no, I suppose on that one. See, I did indeed have a similar idea. A lot of that equipment that was once unclaimed now either sits in the chasm around Castle Ravenloft or within its walls.

I see. I'm sure there's still quite a few things left to be picked up around this place. Certainly I did not comb every square inch of it. Well, I guess it makes sense where the most adventurers will be dying would be, well, when they face him himself. dying would be, well, when they face him himself. He coughs a little bit and something black and awful

comes out of his mouth. He looks at his hand and then just kind of throws to get, you know how you'll get droplets off? He does that into the fire, which roars for a little bit, and he just kind of wipes the rest of it off on his chaps uh i suppose yender

has been looking after you as well as she can keening looks over at yender and says warmly says uh yeah she's been absolute god sound maybe literally he says yender gives him like a an ou sort of thing do you you mind if I have a look at your affliction? He gestures with his stump hand. A little gingerly, but nonetheless he does. Can I give it an inspection? Sure.

It looks... I assume you're looking for infection? Infection or from what Pip has mentioned about the mummy rot. Bog Man's Fury. Yes, that man's fury. Bog man's fury. Yes, that's the one. Bog man's fury or any sort of like, yeah, basically how's it looking? You say mud man's rot?

Completely different illness. It looks uninfected. Well, she's done a great job. That's good. Don't have a fever or anything? Wouldn't say I feel 100%, but I don't think I'm on a downward trend. I would say it's an upward trend. Yeah, you're definitely looking better than the last time I saw you.

Yeah. I think we're going to head off to Kuchuri tomorrow. Did you ever head that way? The Amber Temple is there, which apparently has some connection to Strahd. I had heard the Amber Temple, but I was not aware of its connection to Strahd. I don't know much about it specifically, but I am aware that it has some connection to the entities that started it all. Oh.

There are, Amborevia is a, what certain crazy monster men might call a dark place. I guess it's the lack of sun. Not very imaginative, but okay. In a more, shall we say, scientific sense, it's a demi-plane within the shadow fell. A place devoid of happiness and light. There are many such places. These are all overruled by strange, mysterious entities.

overruled by strange, mysterious entities. They haven't any names, perhaps because they never had names, perhaps because anyone who might have known their names fears to speak them. There are many such entities. Their means and motives are inscrupulous, perhaps even unknowable to mortal minds such as us. All that I know about the Amber Temple is that it is a place of connection with these beings. There is a profound and strong evil within that place, or, at the very least, a connection to it.

place, or, at the very least, a connection to it. I would not hazard a guess as to say what one's soul would look like after one enters or exits the Amber Temple, but I highly doubt you or

anyone else could come out unstained. There is also a devil. Oh, Father Lemmick? Your friend has filled me in on that one. Don't also a devil. Oh, Father Lomac, your friend has filled me on that one. Don't say the name. Yeah, you and Yendor are like...

Don't say the name. Yendor quickly darts into one of her side satchels, takes out some flash paper, and burns it. Yeah, I look for incense. Oh, she's got it. Okay. Don't say the name. The smell of lavender fills the air, and you didn't even realize that Sulfur had Yeah, I look for incense. Oh, she's got it. Okay. Don't say the name. Don't say the name. The smell of lavender fills the air, and you didn't even realize that sulfur had begun to suffuse the immediate space around you.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry. It is okay. It's, I guess, if you're not part of the clergy. Yeah. Anyway, sorry about that. That is okay. Yes.

So I guess, well, first off, I hope if I enter that I exit and I hope it's not too big a sustain. Did you ever come across Pena or the morning light? Morning Lord? Morning Lord, yeah. I was aware that there was an element of the divine within here. I did not know its exact nature, but I did know that it was here. My understanding. He stops for a second and looks at the two of you.

My understanding is I am aware. He says he chose not to say something just then. Yes, I feel I have. Look at Yen, Durin's like, yes, I feel I have drained the battery dry. Yeah, I can feel that. I was hoping maybe she had an avatar or persification trapped in this dark place. Tell me, have you had any further encounters with Escher after you parted ways with him last, shall we say? No, not Escher. But we did see a, I guess, fallen comrade, a Gogash.

I'm sorry, it's hard when these sorts of things happen. I'm sorry it's hard when these sorts of things happened In my Tenure shall we say As a leader of the resistance We had a Kenku By the name of Trumpets Oh I see

Yeah I just like Your like Pip General friend Boyfriend Yes your Like Pip, General, Friend, Boyfriend, Ex. Yes, your Pip mentioned it. Yeah, he took that one quite hard.

Tell you what, Strahd really has a way of expunging any part of it. Any time a crack forms within Borovir and lights streams through. I assume you are not well enough to travel with us. I could try. I shake my head. It is probably best if you rest up. I'm vaguely aware that there is some issues for a lot of you within Valakar. Yes, if any of us set foot, a lot of us get a heart attack.

I had been for quite some time trying to keep a low profile, assuming I had escaped Strahd's notice. The development with Escher proved otherwise. Since Strahd's already aware of me, I might as well see what it's like back in the Blue Water Inn, see if they're still serving that wine I like. On that, take out the Heart of Sap. This is the Heart of Sap. it was what the druids used to I'm aware yeah I think there is another one somewhere out there

three in total my understanding is probably does belong in the forest but if it goes there I think well then Strahd gets it if I guess for now if you are heading to the Blue Water Inn, if you could give this to Danny and Erwin.

I'll make sure it gets to them, he says. Thank you. And if you could ask them to see if Muriel and the rest of their family are okay. I know the Atreans made a beeline for them, and I guess we couldn't really get there in time. All right. Yeah, I'll give them your best. I'd appreciate that.

Thank you. If there's anything else, I guess you could tell me. That might help for now. He thinks about it for a second, and he says, Well, there's quite a few things I know about Barovia. Some of the information might be a bit old. Some of it might be a bit useful. It's hard for me to know exactly.

I could list quite a few things. I don't know if they'd necessarily be too helpful for you. Is there anything you might like to know? Anything I would like to know? How do we get out of here? Anything I would like to know. How do we get out of here? My understanding is that there are two methods of exit in Barovia.

The first one, well, theoretically there's three. The first method, to be a Vistani. They are free to come and go as they wish. The second method, killing Strahd. And the third method, though that scarcely bears considering, is beseeching one of the dark entities that actually rules this place.

Oh, Strahd is not the ruler. Strahd is more a fellow inmate. What? I don't know the specifics, but Strahd is trapped here just as you or I. Huh. Thank you.

That is interesting. Oh, I'm glad to hear I was useful. Where did you, how did you find that out? Scraps, here and there. St. Markovia, she, and then, she was the first to truly oppose strad i believe it is on account of her that there is a sliver of the divine within barovia at all she uh bore it fruit within here and uh her efforts her allowed it to to grow within this cursed place. Then, after she was defeated, it was the dragon knights at Argenvost Holt who...

It is the smaller castle, yes? Yeah, not too far to the south of here. Dragon knights? Yeah, they too far to the south of here. Dragon Knights. Yeah, they took it up from her. They resisted for a little while, but Strahd put them down as well. Anyway, sorry, what I meant to say was that in their research and developments and methods to slay or defeat Strahd, I was able to find scraps of information. Some of it, most of it at Augenbostholt.

I tried at Krezik, but didn't find much of interest. But by the time I got to Krezik, Strahd, he had been, well, I played right into his hand, to be honest. He, once I started my insurrection, he went on a campaign of terror. People were dropping left and right, and I felt like I had to do something. And I guess as a result, we went in a little half-cocked. Yeah, what went wrong? That is a good question.

The machine gun rhythm of rain in Barovia pelts against a canvas tent. Inside the canvas tent, Pip, you and Keening are crowded around a table with several other important figures, the leaders of the resistance. First off, there is Kazmir Velikov and Kolian Indrovich. They are respectively the leaders of the Dusk Elves and the Burgermaster of Barovia. Their people form the bulk, if not the entirety, of your fighting force. There is also specialists within your group. Claudia Belasco, Eleniel Silverfire, they are, for lack of a better term, your special operations, wet work people who have very specific jobs with very specific, well-trained groups of people who, Pip, you hope you will see all of them again, but you know you will not. And then also part of this cadre of specialists is Iona Mirthsong, a native Barovian from specifically from Kuchuri.

She is the only person here who you do not know very well. She is the only person here who you do not know very well. Once your party started amassing, once this camp at the base of Castle Ravenloft started gathering steam and gathering people, she one day just showed up saying that she wanted to help. Keening had a long private conversation with her and told her that he trusts her. Any dealings you've had with her, she's always had a bit of a quick wit, but it often gets her in trouble. She's clever, but she never knows when to shut up.

Too clever for her own boots. Yes, exactly. Today, tonight, she is very quiet and very still, as is everyone else around the table. Keening is going over final preparations, making sure everyone understands the plan. He and Iona are going to be facing the full brunt of Strahd. Iona in a support capacity, Keening matching brute force, magically speaking, with strad himself yeah meanwhile claudia and eleniel have their respective tasks up high and down low within castle ravenloft subverting smaller elements

but nonetheless important to the war effort and then casimir colian and you pip will be the generals leading the charge i i like to think throughout this entire discussion, I have been rubbing my snout. Yeah. A telltale sign of stress on Pip's part. Keening, with a somber note, finishes. All of you let the moment of silence hang. No one knows exactly what to say. And then the first bolt of lightning splits its way splits its way through

the rainstorm and almost almost on cue all of you look out of the open tent to see the lightning illuminate castle ravenloft as the light from the lightning dies down even though though Castle Ravenloft is black against black, it's impossible to not tell its silhouette. It is somehow darker than darkness itself. Keening, looking at the amassed group, says, well, so long as there are no questions, I'll dismiss you to your various camps. Pip, if I may have a word. Yeah.

Everyone else slowly shuffles out of the tent. For sure. As they leave, maybe Iona Muthsong puts a hand on your shoulder and gives you a reassuring squeeze. I give her just a look, a kind of tight-lipped smile. She leaves. Pip? Yeah?

You can't hide anything from me. Yeah. You can't hide anything from me. I just think, well, I have been thinking, and it seems none of us have been asking the most important question to me, which is, what if we lose Keening? I don't think anybody's thinking about what if it doesn't work and we don't win? What state does that leave not only us, but also the rest of the generals and the people of Barovia? I guess I'm just concerned.

I don't know if I'd say it's cold feet, but I guess I'd just like some reassurance. Keening shifts uncomfortably, and then his gray eyes meet yours. If you're looking for certainty in this life, Pip, I'm afraid I can't offer you any. We are people with little to lose other than our lives. And that is understandably not a very comforting thing to think of. I maybe I go to the edge of the tent and push it open to look out at our amassed army in quotation marks you look at native barovians in the heavy rain desperately

trying to reload crossbows and struggling to hit a stride shaped target at 10 paces. They're peasants. They're fishmongers. Cheesemakers. Farmers. They're not soldiers. What are we sending them into? I just... I don't want their lives, their blood, on my hands. No one here, Pip, is not without cause to be here. Everyone chose to be here.

Not because they want to die, but because they want to live. I like, maybe it's like it's not even really registering for Pip. He's completely elsewhere. I'm staring at the castle and then staring at the soldiers and then I turn to Woken and I take his hands in mine. Woken, let's go me and you we'll run away we'll leave all of this behind we don't have to do this we can disappear into

the sphelic woods you and i will find a shack somewhere raise some chickens together keening hardens and then retracts his hands these people people need me. I need you. Keening turns away from you and stares at the table. Maybe, like, seeing that Pip's overstepped something. He's maybe extended himself a little too far. I put my hand on his back. I'm sorry. No, it's...

I need you too, Pip. But these people, they need us. You're right. You're right. Keening, when the time comes, I'll be there. I promise. Woken Keening looks away. Then he looks back at you, Hector. Pip... Pip Mandarin lied to me that day.

But I let him. Fair enough. fair enough. He is a, well, he's trying to be a better man. I'm assuming you are putting at least a little bit of faith by the prophecies given to you at the hands of madam eva to be honest i right now it is the only thing i have i don't know if uh after all has been said and done on my first attempt i don't know if i believe in destiny anymore but i do believe this. I believe that our lives, while they may not constitute much destiny, they are nonetheless made up of more than a few accidents and tragedies. No one, none of us, is really okay or good, not in a place like this, but we are all trying to do our best in a world where it is far too easy to do your worst

thank you thank you for the chat as you're getting up to go keening grabs your wrist and pulls pulls you to look at him uh i need to tell you something keening struggles for a second and then finally he it's like he has to force it out of himself. Look after him. I'll do my best. Keening, let's go. You see he can't say or do anything else. He seems quite choked up. I'll head over as I leave, maybe just have a quick word with Yender. You and Yender walk away from the tent.

Right. Well, how is he doing? He's all right. He's up and about, as you've seen. But, you know, it's going to be a little bit longer before he's able to participate, shall we say. Yes, of course. Of course. What else has been happening around, I guess?

Have you been able to get word of what's happening in Valakai? Well, the Markovs pass me what they can when they can, but it's kind of thin and few in between and whatnot. It's not easy to get messages in and out of this little place. But from what I understand, it looks like things are kind of, well uh for lack of a better term all is well in valakai you know what i mean that's kind of just a while that's kind of just a return to normality i suppose uh lady watchers still trying her little machinations behind the scenes no one's really Sure exactly what she's doing but

None of the Strahd shit really stuck To her so she's for the most Part fine the Burgermaster himself Is I From my understanding from what I can gather He's trying to figure out that Summoning ritual again but We've been able to thwart him pretty

Thoroughly at least He's going to have trouble getting another one of those daggers, I think. Good, good. Because there was the, we walked past the blacksmith and, well, it was. Yeah. Keenan and I have had a few little conversation-y type things. Just he's passing me information on what he knows about our time before here, and I'm passing him information on

you know who yes yeah whatever lies sleeping in parofia yeah yeah yeah he's got a lot of natural aptitude actually he's a little bit of a something of a divining rod if from hearsay if something's given to something really yeah he he. He senses the, he can see, he literally sees the weave like we see the color blue, you know what I mean? Oh, like all the time? Yeah. Wow. That is impressive.

I knew of people that could sense the weave, but not outright see it all the time. Yeah, yeah. It's a whole deal. She waves her hand. I don't really understand that sort of stuff. It's not my area of expertise. Norman, were the Martikovs able to track any of the coins used for the ritual down? They've had some success, but it's a complicated thing.

Yender turns around and flips out several of her... you can see she's got a few tomes in her once again it's not really a backpack it's a chest that she wears on her back but she has a few few like books that she keeps with her it's it's kind of complicated i've been doing some reading uh and it looks like they're they might be able to substitute the coins with a different token. See, the original script says coins, but – oh, sorry, not the original script, sorry. The translation that we get says coins, but if you go to the original script, it looks like it actually mentions just tokens. So there's a whole complicated thing. I'm going to keep looking into this, and hopefully once old cowboy boy over there is back on his feet,

I'm going to use this little divine and rod thing, and we'll see if we can figure out exactly where all of these energies are conversing. You know what I mean? If we can figure out where their fucking temple is exactly, if we can figure out the dimensions, the shape of it and whatnot, and especially in the weave itself, how it's touching the weave, maybe there's some shit we can do without them even fucking knowing about it. That would be very useful.

Well, I'm pretty sure that it is in the Burgomaster's manor. That's about as much information as we have. But like the exactities of it. She says. She seems a bit fired up. She seems excited by the prospect of working with Keening on this. Good, because I know

I know as much as the best way really is to sort of eliminate the cult, I guess leaving what is left of Valakai in the hands of Lady Watcher is also not good. May I sort of dart to Keening? He once led people. Yeah.

What if we put him in charge of? Well, I mean, we could try. I don't really know the politics of it all, but, well, I know the people a little bit, and I wouldn't describe them as the sort of people that might accept an outsider as ruler. Yes, I feel right. Also, I'm sure Kenan might have his own opinions on that. I know, I know.

It was an idle thought. I mean, who knows? Maybe he... Look. Hey. Let's tackle this one thing at a time, I suppose. Tomorrow, the Madame Eva's trooper moving on. And I feel we're heading back out west to Kuchuri,

and I know the Amber Temple is around there. Yeah. Look, I just wanted to let you know, the sort of stuff that Kenan's been telling me about the Amber Temple, I trust you, but just keep your wits about you. Don't make any deals you don't... No, I wouldn't. Maybe just don't make deals. A bit late for that yet, though.

You haven't made a deal yet. Well, not at the Amber Temple. There's a lot of, not just you know who, but a lot of people touch the Amber Temple. A lot of them we don't even really understand or know. None of them are good. Yes. I was hoping we would be able to find some more information about the one who sleeps in the Amber Temple. Yeah, go there, find information, don't talk to anyone.

You know what I mean? Yes. I remember the, I know Keening didn't head to Krezic, but we have, and there was an extensive library there. Maybe it is worth going back and reading through those books. Sure, yeah. The Abbey, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe.

It might be something we missed. Maybe with a bit more time we could have a look. Well, who do we got? Maybe, oh, no. I guess I wouldn't trust a lot of Garb and Lush in world. Eat the books? Yeah, I wouldn't trust a lot of the current party to do that without assistance.

Who could we send? You could send Esmeralda, obviously. Because they're like a hunter, right? They're a monster hunter. Yeah, but they're in Kuchery. You could send Pip, but Pip has literally fucked that one up for us previously, hasn't he?

Well, correct. Yes, correct. I guess it depends if you trust him now. I don't know who's told her that, but that's great. Oh, yeah. She, you know, she. Nobody let it. Cribbit, you don't tell gossip. Yender, you can't help but tell gossip.

I guess Gorub and Lushen, they would argue about which one to look into first. Plus, they're not going to go anywhere that Tarpos does not. I don't know if they can reach. Like, I know one of them's a wizard, but I don't know that. Also, we've met, acquired a druid, Tarpos.

She's, I think you'd like her. Okay. Interesting. Far that away. She's not a huge people person i would say but uh i think the druids around here have um oh yeah comparatively if she's a friend compared to the rest of the druids she sounds positively delightful oh yes no um sorry yes the druids that have sided with Strahd, and I guess her and her

father, her father possesses her spear currently. Also, I guess we suspected this, but once you die in Barovia, you don't leave. That is disconcerting. That would explain a lot, though. Yender

seems to file that away. There's some law to that that she's like, okay, okay, okay, that fits something. Can I see some dots? She's swapping basically like, everything has happened but from a clerical standpoint.

So she's, her and her father disagreed with how the current druids are running. There's a, the head druid, Keshka is his name. Okay. His head currently resides on Tarpos's belt. But it is alive. He cannot die.

I'd like this person, you said. Yender says. Maybe. Okay. She's interesting. Well, you've given her a hell of an introduction, can I say. Well, yes. But, yes, she helped us with the tree.

Oh, good, good, good. And she seems to be very much. The tree? Oh, you must have heard. Oh, no, I'm sure actually this was probably part of your initial, yeah, I'm sure Yender knows. Oh, no, I'm sure actually this was probably part of your initial, yeah, I'm sure Yender knows. So you see how it goes with that and all of the current probably druid problems still.

So we have Tarpos, but I don't think she'd want to go into the Abbey. Also, I don't know if she, well, I guess like Gorob and Lushen. Well, if she, presumably she looks like one of the druids right All the druids Look like There's not like a uniform Isn't she a goliath Yeah but yeah sorry There's no uniform for the druids

But you look at Tarpos And there's not a lot else she could be Don't belong in a city Yeah I do not think she'd fare well in the City environment Yeah well if she looks like a druid They're probably not going to let her into a city. Yeah. Yes, I do not think she'd fare well in a city environment. Yeah, well, if she looks like a druid, they're probably not going to let her into a city, you know what I mean? Well, we've got Eleniel, and, well, the Krezig do not like her kind, shall we say.

Yeah. Kribbit? Yeah, you get some of that. Kribbit? Oh, yeah, Kribbit. He's all right. But my fear of Kribbit is he will find something. And in a similar

vein of Pip. Yeah, he won't tell you till it's really, yeah, till the last minute. Yeah, that is crib it. Or he will just give us a book where pages have been ripped out and he will be like, I have found it like this. And we will both know he is lying.

Stuffed in his bag, covered in egg yolk are the true pages. So unfortunately, we have me, you, Keenan, Esmeralda, Pierron actually. But I don't know if he would want to step foot in an abbey. Yeah, he, my understanding, gets, I think the technical term is the heebie-jeebies. Bad case of... Well, if I find

ourselves around that area again, perhaps I might duck in. Yeah, yeah. Part of a grand information tour. Speaking of, I guess, people and resources right now, do you need assistance or help? I know we can't go into the city.

This might be a strange question. You have strawberries? You live out in the wilderness of Barovia for long enough. You kind of get desperate for something sweet. Look, I will do my best. And if I can find some, I'll give it to you in the morning. Yeah, because Elenia has a little veggie patch that she's kind of half-hidden,

but I don't know how to describe it. It's like, not in here. There's no sweetness to anything. Yes, their honey bleeds. Have you noticed that? That's weird. No, I've seen that previously. Coppery honey sandwiches, y'all.

You just use it differently. You just wouldn't use it the way other people use honey. You'd make a kind of honey blood pudding, I guess. Yeah, you'd baste a steak, I guess. Yeah. I mean, you could still baste. We baste steaks in honey sometimes. Yeah, but it's for a different flavor.

Yeah, wow, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Look, I'll do my best, and we'll try and see you off in the morning. Mm-hmm. All right. Well, until then, she claps you on the back, or as high up on your back as she can get to without smacking your bum.

Have a good night. You too. She turns back and walks back into the tent with Keening. night. You too. She turns back and walks back into the tent with Keening. Eleniel, did you want to head back to the Vistani or are we keeping down here? I

will probably return here, but I will guide you back to the camp. Thank you. Pip, you are awoken in the middle of the night. It's slow at first. It's kind of more, it's not like a sudden waking up. You know how it'll be sometimes when you wake up, you kind of

slip back. You slip back into that never never state between sleep and truly being awake. You can hear, you feel yourself being rocked a little bit and you can hear a voice. Piu. Woken? In the darkness,

you can't see his face, you just see the outline of him i reach out with my hand to like grab his shoulder is everything okay he when you grab his shoulder he grabs your your arm as well kind of reciprocating your touch and he says pimp you gotta get up we're in trouble i get up You slowly rouse. Your eyes are slowly becoming adjusted to the darkness. You can see now Keening properly. Keening looks at you very, you can see he's in a wild panic. Yeah.

But nonetheless, in his characteristic way, even though you can tell that he inside is panicking. Outside, he remains quite calm. Stoic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have we had a chance to short rest yet, Adam? No, you have not had a chance to short rest yet. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Pip, you gotta... He stops suddenly.

He jerks a little bit and you see one hand... Adam, no. Adam. You see a hand crawl around his face, grab at his chin, and then jerk. Keating's head is twisted clear around and then off his head. His body falls to the ground, and a go-gash is standing where he was. Do I have my crossbow? You turn to grab your crossbow, and as you turn to grab your crossbow,

You turn to grab your crossbow And as you turn to grab your crossbow A gogash grabs you from behind Picks you up And then you see nothing but dirt You wake up Adam Do I quickly kind of like accept that it was a dream? Yeah

I look down at Pop Who I assume is at my feet. Pop? Yeah, sure. If you look down at Pop, Pop, you've probably roused Pop. Pop kind of ruffles up and looks at you. I like kind of absentmindedly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I creep around Pop and open the gates of the, or the gates, open the flaps of the tent just to make sure everything's okay. You can see the other tents of your companions around you. Can I hear anything? Nothing but the quiet stillness of Barovia.

Rubbing my snout. Shut up. Close the flap. Clamber back inside. Avoid Pop. And lie down and just stare at the ceiling. I feel I drift back to sleep. Everyone gets a short rest.

Son of a bitch. I'm going through my spells being like, Oh, what have I got? What have I got? It's like I haven't even had a chance to reconcile and then he's fucking dead. Oh my God. Elaniel doesn't need to use any.

Does Kribbit want to use one? How many days are we off a long rest? You've got, by my count, two more days. Oh, my God. That's so exciting. All right. So you've got two more days to a long rest. Yeah, very exciting.

A thousand miles to travel and a tank full of gas. In the morning, I'll get up at the crack-o-dawn before all the Bastani head off. Well, they've kind of already started to head off at this point. They were going to head off before first light. That's right. Well, if I can do the get up just before first light. Well, yeah. Maybe even last night as before going to bed.

If Jackson was still around or someone to be like, is it possible to get, do you still have any strawberries left? Highs or lows? Let's go with highs. Highs, you say? Maybe lows. Lows, you say? Maybe I did mean highs. Yeah, no, they don't.

No, I guess I meant lows. No, I'm sorry. After the results have been revealed, you can't keep going. If you don't have any strawberries, do you have anything similar or anything kind of sweet? Let's go with Heise again. We do not have strawberries, but we have honey from outside Borovia. Oh, outside Borovia? Oh, my God.

Yes, if you have, I'd love to purchase some. Sure, sure. He takes out a jar of honey. Barovia. Outside Barovia? Yes. I'd love to purchase some. Sure, sure. He takes out a jar of honey. It is... Do you want only the one? More than one? We have two. Yes, I will take both. He gives you two jars of honey.

That will be let us say four silver a piece. Eight silver total and how much I owe you for the strawberries I owe you one oh you have the money

for that now I nod let us say two gold for the strawberries no I fresh fruit does not translate

well in the mist I understand well look here's five gold you've been so nice to to me and look back at the the camp he is happy here's five gold. You've been so nice to me and look back at the camp.

He is happy to accept five gold. Yeah. Thank you so much. Maybe as he's accepting, he's like, oh, you are so generous. I cannot accept this much. He's putting the coins in his coin purse. It is too much simply. But if you insist.

Thank you so much. I will stow them on myself and I'll have a gift for Yen-Due and a gift for Pip. That's nice. Aw. All right. And with that, they trundle off into the darkness, either of the night or morning. Or somewhere in the middle. Whenever you contract.

Whenever you spoke to them. Yeah, yeah. I guess they would have also probably woken us up to kick us out because we were in their tents yeah well it's not like it's not like they need

to kick you out because they're locking the doors to the place or anything I guess we'd be in our tents yeah oh yeah true true true

fair enough alright good okay alright well um if the fire has gone down during the night I'll stoke it up to kind of warm it

warm it up and maybe look through any kind of rations we have. And if we have any kind of maybe oats or something, maybe I'll start making a bit of porridge. Holy shit. Something like that. Sure, yeah, you can make oats. Yeah, I'll start making a big bowl of oats for everyone. At some point in the morning, Eleniel approaches you. She wears a heavy cloak and hood to hide herself from the gate guards, who

at about the same time she approaches, you hear the eastern gates to Valakai opening. Good morning. Would you like some breakfast? I have already eaten, she says. No worries. Maybe at this point I'll join the two

of you. Slept like shit last night. Oh my God, is that honey? Yes. Yes, from outside. Oh my. I assume there's like a communal bowl of porridge. I'll slop some into a little wooden bowl and

eating with your hands like Gorban Lushen. Scoop one into my mouth too and look at gorob and lushen doing the exact same be like oh put it down go get a spoon you were raised better than this pip oh come on look over at gorob and lushen you see that gorob is holding the bowl and lushen is using his hand to scoop it into his mouth and and Gorub keeps looking longingly at the scoops, and then says,

Give me some! Stop shoving it into your own mouth! And then they begin fighting as Gorub starts trying to go for the porridge as well. I pour some water on my hands to clean them, and then I use a wooden spoon. Kribbit puts up a hand. No, thank you That's fair Oats make me feel bloated

Yes I do not want to even think about what would happen to your digestive system with that Gastrointestinal I can hook up an egg for you but Oh that would be nice Okay Extra runny please No way I was going to say, would you like them scrambled or do you just want them over-easy?

Scrambled? Yeah, so you get the you crack the egg into a bowl and you just whisk it up and you kind of move it around the hot pan. Sure, just runny, he says. No worries, I can make you some. Make runny. Do more of a folded kind of thing. Crubid like when runny. They always overcook at tavern.

Ah, yes. Look, I'll do my best. It's all hard. Hard boiled? No. What? What is that? They put the egg inside, say, boiling water, and then they give you the egg afterward. Crack open the shell and it's a kind of...

I don't think he cracks open the shell. I think he just pops the whole thing. shell where all the nutrients are yeah it's good for your hair people say so some of you like not eating crust of pizza oh no you and i have hair it's got calcium for crib it's growing bones growing everybody has like a brief moment where they can't buy we're like how old is for Kribbit's growing bones. Growing? Everybody has like a brief moment where they can't find one where we're like, how old is Kribbit?

Is Kribbit a baby? That one have eggs? Kribbit have egg for party. I don't think we have any eggs. Kribbit takes, Kribbit opens his backpack, rummages around in it and brings out a few eggs.

You maybe take the ones that aren't cracked. Does Pop have any? Is the question I was going to ask? I don't think so. I didn't see any this morning, but I didn't look. I'll go, yeah. Can I see any eggs underneath him? Is he roosting?

Yeah, Pop has a, I'd say, just a single egg underneath. Okay. My first instinct was just to clap near his face. Move out of the way, Pop! I want your egg! Is that what you do? Yeah. Yeah, he bites your hand.

Yeah, you've managed to pull your hand away at the last second, though. You're welcome to try. He's got one egg. Kribbit, if you want to try that. Pop once, it's more than I do. I'll just use your eggs. I'll fold him up some eggs. I just know when I pack away my tent, I'm going to crack that egg into it.

God damn it. Pop can't take the egg with him. Come on. Yeah, I'll make some eggs for Kribbit. See if he likes them. How much do you cook them? Do you make scrambled eggs? I make more of a folded sort of scrambled egg.

All right. And how cooked are we talking about these eggs? Like basically it'll kiss the pan, let it move around like it would be kind of runny, and then just kind of fold it into each other, like fold it into itself, and then just kind of give it to him. It's more of an omelette, really, like a runny omelette. Okay. Kind of like a seared egg as well.

Yeah, this point. Like we think about you're cooking it. Oh, very weird. Strange scrambled eggs. Let me know if you like it. I mean, would you like to dissolve a little bit of honey on it? It could be nice. Honey? Croubette have honey. Yeah, right. like to dissolve a little bit of honey on it? It could be nice. Honey?

Kribbit have honey. Dissolve a little bit of honey on the egg. Kribbit eats, and then later today he will vomit. He can't have honey. You can't give Kribbit honey. Ah, but I don't know that name. Just later today, or probably just before lunchtime, Kribbit's going to start vomiting heaps. He will pretend everything is fine,

and if you ever... He will eat honey again unless you stop him. Well, I know it's the honey or the cooked egg. No, Kribbit's had slightly cooked eggs before. When you're serving a major, Kribbit talks about how people overcook eggs. That's right, he did. That's true, that's true. talks about how people overcook eggs. That's right. He did. That's true.

Hate when they overcook eggs. Almost burn. Yes. It's not very good. All hard. No gooey. Kribbit like gooey. Yes.

Gooey makes the part of Kribbit's brain that thinks, ah, stealing eggs from bird makes happy. Makes Kribbit think, ah, Kribbit put his eggs now in here. Bird look after Kribbit lot young. What? I don't think that's how the grung do it. Is that how the grung do it? I don't know. You don't think that's how it works, Bird?

You can't prove him wrong. I think he makes a spawn that he puts in a lake or something. Have you tried poach tags or any other kind of... Kribbit no commit crimes. I love Kribbit. If you want me to try and make you some other kind of style of egg, I'm more than happy to see what we can do. A Cribbit-like roll.

Yes. I know that, Cribbit. I'm saying if you want to try a different way. Maybe while you're having this conversation, Cribbit's been taking everything out of his backpack. And you can see he's kind of like all of the loose egg. He's kind of getting it into a corner so he can drink it. That's disgusting. Cribbit.

That's gross. Both my character and me try not to vomit. If that one knows better way to transport egg, cribbit all ears. A carton. Have you thought of a carton? Possibly a carton. A metal bowl. Cribbit looks at you very suspiciously. A carton. Perhaps you thought of a carton? Possibly a carton, a metal bowl. Herbert looks at you very suspiciously.

A carton, perhaps wrap them in wool? Egg jail. Frogs don't even eat eggs. It's not even like it's a frog thing. Are you normally eating seagull eggs, Krivit? Oh, Krivit could go a seagull egg. Okay, I imagine you just thought it would be water birds. Anyway. Krivit wouldn go a seagull egg. Okay. I imagine you just thought it would be water birds. Anyway. Kribbit wouldn't mind

seagull, to be honest. Tastiest of all flighted birds. Like the actual seagull itself? Yeah. Okay. How do you eat the seagull? How did you eat the seagull? Well, when seagull fly over, Kribbit opens his mouth. Plop!

His tongue darts out of his mouth, reaches a simply tremendous height, and then snaps back into his mouth. It's just wide bones and all, huh? Well, Kribbit eat whatever can, then throw up the rest. Right. Like an owl. If Kribbit can't eat, Kribbit throw up. Yeah.

I like scones. If Cribbit can't eat, Cribbit throw up. Yeah, I like scones. Alright. Bit of cream, some jam, that's nice, that's a treat for me, Cribbit. Scones made with egg, Cribbit says. Yes, that's true. Scones, nice cup of tea, bit of milk, maybe a cube of sugar.

Wow, that's a good day for Pip. Honey good, Cribbit says. Krippet like honey. Oh, you have not. You've never had honey before. God damn it. Krippet had honey before. Oh, okay.

Good to know. Okay. Delicious. Oh, we need help. Maybe if we can find some actually good tea. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? Yeah. Not really. Markov.

I've never seen it. I've seen good tea in Barovia. Well, I'm going to head to back to Janda and Woken. If you would like to accompany? No, I think I'll help pack up here.

Yes, no worries. I think that's a good division of labor. And then we head for Kootree yes anything to pass on? no, thank you for the honey well look, there's a whole jar oh my god

you hold on to that one just like, give me the jar, walk away but Pip's going to stay staring at the jar of honey for a while longer. Takes about an hour for you to go give the honey. Yender is very thankful, grateful. And Keening probably is as well. When you're handing the jar to Yender, Keening from up the back looks over and you hear him say,

Is that honey? Yes, non-Borovian honey. I don't think I've ever had something sweet in the last year or so. Yeah, look, well, I'm happy to bear service. Anything else I can acquire, I'll show to you. I think you've done plenty today. He, taking the jar of honey, holds it up and shows it, showing it to you. He says, this is quite possibly the most subversive act I have seen from someone within Barovia.

Happy to help. You rest up and hopefully we'll be back soon. Yes. I think Eleniel can get a message to you if need be. He nods. Yeah, I'm sure she can with that fancy bow of hers. Eleniel nods. They cross a glance.

There's an unwritten conversation. You can see a history there. Yeah. Yes. Good luck with everything. Oh, if you can also just... If you could ask after Jeska and his dog. Dog.

That would be nice. Dog's name is Dog? Yeah. Yes. Dog's name is Dog. Okay. Heard weirder names for dogs, I suppose. It's what the dog wanted.

You see Keening gives like a okay. Well, yes. you see Keenan gives like a okay yes if you could inquire about them from me I'd appreciate that and once again if I could

this is all if I talk to Danica she'll know what you're talking about yes easy good luck to you both yeah

well I feel like I feel like I feel like While maybe I don't have the best track record Defeating Strahd and evils within Barovia I feel like between the two of us You're the one who needs the luck Thank you very much

You rest up Look after him, Yanda They nod And you return to the group This entire time That The Getting to the camps. This entire time, getting to the campsite, getting back,

the conversation, and then obviously the rest of the party making their way from the eastern side of Valachai to the western side of Valachai, all of this takes about an hour. In that hour, at the beginning of that hour, it starts gently raining, and it does not let up. It's not pounding heavy torrential rain.

It's just a constant drizzle. Just little just a tiny bit of rain. Just a speckling of everything so that everything is constantly wet. Everything's wet. It's almost worse in a way. Well, if we could

load up Salah with any kind of equipment, rations, those kind of things. I, if we could, I guess, load up Salah with any kind of like equipment, rations, those kind of things. I guess if we could have, yeah, the previous night, try to get some like, yeah, just rations for the road. Stuff so we don't starve. Yeah. Sure. You will need to purchase some saddlebags from the, not from the Valakavians, sorry, from the Vistani. You'll need to purchase some saddlebagsbags which will set you back probably a couple

of gold. But with the saddlebags you've got enough. You had tons of rations and other stuff other supplies that were just stored at Eleniel's camp and in addition to that Eleniel's just could procure some things.

Probably, potentially through Mark Quillet. Sweet! We'll load up Salar and head on to the Yeah, has procured some things. Okay, cool. Probably, potentially through Mark Quillett. Excellent. Yeah, that's nice. Sweet. Yep. We'll head back on. We'll hold up Salar and head onto the road.

On the old... The old Svalach road? Yep. Yeah. The old Svalach road. The old Svalach road. All right. To Kutry. To be continued... collect campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company

if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.