D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #26 Crone Conjecture
Episode Date: October 28, 2023The party stumble upon a not at all suspicious cabin in the woods. Hecktor can’t let this one go and does his best to figure out a system of retracing his steps while Pip wishes he could be back in ...the wagon.Keep up to date with the Jarren's Outpost Board Game by heading to jarrensoutpost.com or checking out all the links here!Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out Imagination Adventures+ on our website or on Apple Podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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You're listening to the Sands Pants Network.
Though you see no water for miles around you, you are like me. You're listening to the other than possibly by dying.
Maybe by being eaten by a wolf, let's say.
Can I scan the tree line while looking perhaps where that Vistani ran off to?
Put my hands on my hips.
I'll come with. I'll come with.
If you die out there, I'm not getting home.
We'll be back shortly.
Right.
Fingers crossed.
Yeah, well.
Fingers crossed we'll be back.
Fingers, toes, everything crossed, yeah.
You continue tracking through the woods.
You get further and further into the pine trees all around you.
At some point maybe we light a torch so we can see.
Oh, yeah, of course.
The space between the pine trees all around you. At some point, maybe we light a torch so we can see them. The space between
the pine trees
becomes smaller and smaller
as the trees become
thicker and thicker.
It feels like the forest
is,
the forest itself
is hostile towards you.
You begin losing
all sense of direction.
Space around you
begins melting away.
Does that rock
look familiar?
The players become lost.
Fuck apples, Adam.
Nonetheless, while you will not be able to trace your way back,
you can still, from the tracks, you can still follow your way forwards.
It's not difficult to follow where this person went.
Eventually, the trees become so thick,
you actually need to dismount and you're leading the horse behind you.
The branches are so low.
Once again, it feels like the forest is hostile, attacking you.
You're forcing your way through pine trees.
It's like you're in, you know, it's like you're an adventurer in a jungle cutting their way with a machete, but it's pine trees instead.
cutting their way with a machete, but it's pine trees instead.
The needles from the pine trees and the pine cones feel unnaturally sharp,
stabbing at you like tiny little knives.
Eventually, you can hear fuck, fuck, fuck, something knocking something else,
something hard hitting something hard up ahead of you.
In the darkness, you cannot yet see it.
You're too far away.
Even for dark vision, you're too far away,
but you can hear, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Is that where the Vestani was running to?
Yeah, you're still following the tracks.
Okay.
I, yeah, again, I guess cautiously, yeah.
I just keep following.
The first thing you see is a little light,
a dim, dull light ahead of you slowly the light reveals it's not it's not a great view because the light's very faint but it does reveal
what you're seeing ahead of you there is a small little clearing in the clearing there is a cottage
which is immediately a red a red flag a load of bolts You can see in the cottage there are many shapes, small little hunched somethings, you're not sure, that are in this clearing all around the cottage.
And you can see one figure crouched low in the snow bringing up something in their hands and then slamming it down.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Behind you. Yeah. Unseen by you. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Behind you.
Yeah.
Unseen by you.
It lurks.
What have you done? It watches.
Do we hear that?
No.
Okay.
It watches the two figures.
One a dragonborn.
The other human-like.
But some creature it's not aware of leading a horse
they're heading into grandmother's house
pip and hector adam carnival you motherfucker
so the the thing that is like thok thok that's ahead of you in this clearing. Now, is it humanoid?
It's humanoid, yeah.
Does it look humanoid?
Like, say, I'm guessing the hopeful part of me. Are you moving?
Have you stopped?
I think we've stopped.
Okay, stop.
So the hopeful part of me is hoping that the Vistani,
the whatever my heart's desired, is maybe something underground,
and he's using, say, a stone and he's trying to dig that.
But I guess the more rational side of me is thinking that the Vistani
who was running came upon this and whatever that is,
is bashing its head in.
Yeah, that's my fear too.
Can I make out what the little hunched creatures are?
No, they're shrouded in darkness.
You can only just barely see that they're there.
Do I know anything about a grandmother's house?
Oh, no, I didn't see that.
I didn't see that.
Never mind.
Is this at all in any way familiar to me?
No.
The idea of a cabin, like, even one as nasty as this,
this far out seems wrong, right?
Yes.
Does it look nasty?
Or does it look inviting?
I wouldn't say it looks inviting.
I wouldn't say it looks nasty.
It's just a place.
Okay.
The creature or the individual that is thock, thock, thocking away,
can you describe its, I guess, silhouette or features that we can see?
Are you talking about the figure?
It's like humanoid, as I said before.
Yeah.
Are we seeing a silhouette?
Are we seeing anything?
You're seeing just the silhouette pretty much, yeah.
I'm guessing, is it like, you know,
are they wearing, you know, threadbare clothes?
Are they spindly?
Is the outline like, you know,
well, those arms are a bit too long for a human.
It doesn't.
It just seems humanoid.
You don't see anything that... My arms are a bit too long for a human. It just seems humanoid. Okay.
You don't see anything that, I mean, other than the obvious things,
you don't see anything that looks wrong.
Okay.
Can I, I guess as an action, use divine sense?
We have previously had this conversation
and I have allowed you to see
the other sorts of presences.
So I will say that
there are no undead,
celestials,
or demons or devils
in this clearing.
None that your divine sense allows you to see.
But you do once again see
that sickly green fog
that kind of covers a lot of things.
You would recognize that as just an evil aura
that is around this place.
It might be connected with Fae,
but you can't tell 100%.
It seems to collect around those little hunched figures
that are all kind of ringing this,
the ones I was describing before.
You don't, oh no, actually you would,
the figure that's, fuck, fuck, that figure,
it looks like it's roiling off them,
but they don't look like the only source.
Okay.
I think we're dealing with more hair, Graper.
Yes.
Are we going to let this one go?
I just need to know, Hector.
I'm just staring at that creature.
So I'm thinking if they're affected by the hag's touch,
that would mean there's like the roiling vapor that's coming off them.
Is that very similar to people at the orphanage?
It's not exactly the same.
It's not a brother or sister, but it might be a cousin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is this place?
I don't know.
It's not good, whatever it is. The two of you watch as a haunched figure, humanoid but small,
not halfling small, just human-sized small,
maybe only like five feet in height in total,
but because they're haunched forwards, they look even smaller than that,
slowly makes their way into the clearing from another angle, not near you.
You see the figure slowly makes their way towards that little house,
completely ignoring the person in the clearing.
What is that?
I don't know.
I mean, we're dealing with Fae of some kind, probably hags.
Maybe I'll flip out Emmanuel in this moment and have a look.
The hunched figures don't remind me of like dust kegs like we fought
earlier they're way too small these these things yeah look even smaller than maybe yeah definitely
look like they might be smaller than humans to be honest okay okay um nobody's hovering are they
adam no nothing you can see okay our torch is still lit. I'm assuming unless
Pip, were you just like
into the snow?
I kind of assumed it was doused.
I'm just double checking.
I mean we could
try to get a bit closer to have a better look
of what that is. With one final
fuck, the figure
in the clearing stands
up and then drops something next to them when they
stand up you can see definitely without a doubt this is a human or humanoid something similar
obviously could be an elf or whatever but there doesn't seem to be any once again other than the
obvious things there doesn't seem to be anything wrong about this person okay they slowly stagger
their way towards the little cottage.
The figure by now is at the entrance
to the cottage. They open the door
and let the other person in. You can
distantly hear some conversation,
but neither of you can make it out.
Is it an educated guess
to assume that this man is,
this humanoid figure is ensorcelled in some way?
It's possible.
It's really hard to tell from a silhouette.
Similar of what was coming off them was coming off the orphanage.
It's quite not the same, but similar.
Some kind of enchantment or something.
I mean, there's just two of us, Hector.
That's all I'm thinking.
The odds aren't in our favor.
I understand that.
But that was, was that the, if you're, if you're ensorcelled by the,
what was the kiss, right? The desire if you're, if you're ensorcelled by the, the, what was the
case, right?
Yeah.
Desire.
Desire, insatiable desire.
Yeah.
And is there anything that if they were ensorcelled on top of that?
I, if it's insatiable, it doesn't look like, it doesn't look like insatiable desire really
anymore, does it?
Well.
I mean, it's hard to tell.
You can't tell anything.
Yeah.
Do the tracks that we were, I guess, following, do they continue up towards?
Yeah, the tracks continued into this clearing.
They look like they moved in the direction of the figure
with the fucking,
but once they get a little bit into the clearing,
you lose sight of them.
You can only very barely.
I want to really emphasize as well,
like a lot of this clearing is very difficult for you to see.
Those little figures ringing the clearing, you
have no idea what they are
other than that they're very still.
Oh, so they're not moving really at all? No,
not at all. And the, uh, those
figures there, there is
the, the vapor, that kind
of smoky stuff, was coming off them?
Or just kind of coalescing around them?
It was coming, wait, coming off
who? Those little figures.
Oh, the little figures?
It's hovering around them like the fog likes to be there,
like it's clinging to it.
Okay.
So what I can see is, I'd start describing that to Pip,
to be like around those figures. How many of those can I count?
It's hard to say because they go around behind the hut,
the cottage,
whatever you want to call it. But you would guess that there is
if it's no more
than 10.
I mean, if you want to get
slightly closer, you've got dark
vision, I don't. So if you want to get slightly
closer to those figures. Well, I
wait here.
Near the horse. Ready to wait here. Near the horse.
Ready to go out the horse I can't ride.
Well, you can leave the horse
while I break its leg.
You get out of there.
Hey!
Yeah, I guess I'll start creeping a little
closer. So you're being, trying to be
quiet? Yeah. What armor do you wear again?
I was just about to check
that. I believe you're wearing a heavy armor, maybe?
Breastplate?
I'm just wearing that breastplate of the Morning Lord.
Well, I'll say that is, while it is part of plate mail armor,
it's only one piece of plate mail armor,
so I'm not going to give you disadvantage on stealth rolls.
Thank you.
That's kind of you.
All right.
You slink your way into the clearing.
Did you say you're moving towards the little figures?
I was going to move towards where the guy was.
Fucking.
Fucking.
All right.
You approach that and you see a,
you get closer and closer and you see that there's a body lying where they were.
Your guess is partially accurate.
When you get to them, you see that it is a human
or it was once a human. Their face
has just been mashed in. It's just
a paste on the floor.
Now,
alright, you
rolled high enough to recognize that
the outfit this person is wearing is not the same
as the person who you've been tracking.
This is a different person who has been
killed.
I'd like to, because I guess we're doing this,
quietly make a potion of protection against magic and damage.
So combining Devil's Horn, Lycan Hide, and Dragon Blood.
Dragon Blood has a mondo bombard racing ability or whatever.
So what's the intention with this?
Protection against magic and protection against damage. Alright, you do
a decent job. You make a
just write down strong protection
against magic, strong protection against
what was the other thing? Just damage.
Great. And five rounds.
Hell yeah. Oh yeah, I still got that
potion and drink from the...
Yeah.
Yes, yes, yes!
The creature hears the dragonborn man muttering under his breath.
God damn it.
Whatever he's doing, they are happy that they got the result they did.
What the fuck?
Damn it.
Should be in a cabin right now.
Should be inside the wagon.
The other creature has moved into the clearing closer to grandmother's house.
This one is on its own.
Easy pickings.
Oh, my God, Adam.
What the hell?
Okay.
Can I look through?
Can I pat down this body?
See if there's anything there of, like, note?
You give them a quick pat down, as much as you dare doing right now.
You're quite exposed, I want to say.
You feel very in danger right now.
The cabin has resolved a little bit more now that you're closer.
You can see in a bit more detail.
It's a two-story building.
It's got a very almost you would describe it as almost fairy tale appearance like you would see this
on the cover of a children's book but it's it's a little bit more foreboding i suppose there's
nothing nothing you could specifically mention there's no coloration or no anything about it
that you'd be like that's what makes it scary it's just something about it. So how close am I, I guess, to the cabin and how close am I to any of those figures?
Like those little statuettes or whatever.
Looking around, you're, I would say, 100 feet from the cabin and similar from the nearest of those little hunched things.
Little hunched things.
Do they bring me closer to the cabin?
No, no, no.
They ring the outside of this space.
Yeah, very ring.
They're just sitting at the edge of the clearing.
That's some kind of ritual.
Yeah.
I head towards one of the statues.
All right.
It isn't a statue.
It is, in fact, a headstone.
Oh.
Yet closer. It's a
little, just the classic
circular at the top,
straight on the sides, made out of stone.
It's not terribly fancy,
but it's a grave marker, absolutely.
And you see in front of it, even in the snow,
you can see disturbed dirt
where someone has been buried.
On the marker itself, what languages
do you speak? I can read everything.
How do you do that?
Algebra.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Well, written in Sylvan,
which is the language of the forest,
language of Fae and such like that,
it says, all right,
so you're looking directly at the cabin.
Would you have gone left or right?
Both of them would have been as far from you as each other.
I guess the closest to Pip.
Or is he directly in between?
It's all pretty much the same.
I would have gone right.
Right?
All right.
This one says, my 10th daughter.
And then it has dates written on it. The dates would mark whatever the 10th daughter would be
about maybe 40, 45 when they died.
Okay.
Sorry, not my 10th daughter, my 10th granddaughter.
My 10th granddaughter.
Okay.
And there was around about 10 headstones that I'm thinking of.
I'm thinking of.
I'm like, do I need to go and double check?
I try and make a quietly head back to Pip.
What have you learned?
The whatever it was, I adjusted the movements.
Right, yeah.
It was, they were killing, so they killed somebody,
not the person we saw from before.
Possibly somebody else from the wagon.
Adjusted to all the things that aren't really moving, her graves.
It said, here lies my 10th granddaughter, if that means anything.
This has hair written all over it.
The door to the cabin opens again,
and the haunched figure steps out onto their porch.
They hold up something in their hand.
You're not sure what it is.
It's too hard to make out, but they've got something in their hand.
They move their hand around, and you hear ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
Uh-oh.
The trees move.
Don't look at Hector. Bye.
Could have been in the way again Two of the trees
Near to you
But not exactly where you are
Get up and start moving
Towards the cabin
Okay cool
If they've seen you, they don't engage
you. You're not sure if you've been spotted
or not.
Food was so
close, but Grandmother is
calling.
Two hags.
The two dusk hags that you
did not kill walk up
to the cabin and crouch down low so that the figure can something.
I'd like to make a gesture like, let's get the fuck out of here.
I start, like, I'm nodding.
I'm in agreement here.
I maybe linger a little bit too long to see what's happening.
I start moving, I guess, before Hector then.
You turn tail and flee.
Yeah. Can I, as we're
fleeing, make some notches in trees?
Okay.
Sure.
You make some notches in trees.
Whiff that somehow.
You whiff the notches, dude.
Well, you whiff it in that you're not going to be able to
follow this trail back.
You make notches in trees, but you fuck up the distance between them.
And maybe at one point you have the great idea that you're like,
I'll make an arrow so that they point to each other.
But you fuck up several of the arrows.
They do not point to each other.
Do I know I'm fucking this up?
No, unfortunately you don't.
That's a shame.
You fucked it up by more than five, so not only
did you fuck it up. I think I'm doing a great job.
You don't even know that you fucked it up.
Anyway.
You are lost.
If you'll recall. That's right.
So I'm guessing while you're doing that.
I'm going to try and pathfind.
Got anything for a whiffed roll, buddy?
We probably do.
I can re-roll anything, but that seems so valuable.
Yeah.
That's gonna...
That's gonna...
Okay.
You know what?
I'll just roll again.
We'll just spend the time.
Unfortunately, you've been here too long and an encounter is going to happen.
I'm wet and cold and angry at how
noble my friend is.
He's got two pure
hot
nighttime encounters, baby.
This is
scary.
Pray for a low number.
It's not bad.
Oh, interesting. I'm pointing an arrow number That's not bad Oh, interesting
I'm pointing an arrow
Very interesting
That's right, yes
Wait, why did I draw it
Hang on a second
Why did I draw it up?
Am I telling myself to go into the trees later?
Hang on
I'll make it down
Did I mean north?
Oh no
I should have decided on a system.
It was like A, B, 1, 3.
Oh, no.
Too much of a panic to come up with an effective strategy.
It's like A, B, Roman numeral 3, the number 4, the word 5.
Back to, am I at C now?
Oh, no.
Okie dokie.
So, you pass on a tree.
You see, at first you think it's someone, but then it's too small and it's off the ground.
You realize an article of clothing has been hung on a tree.
Does that strike any bells for me, Adam?
It rings no bells.
Is that a werewolf?
Could be.
Is it a full pants?
Do you go inspect?
No.
I keep moving.
All right, you're going to ignore it?
Yeah.
Okie dokie.
Is that wise to ignore?
It's as wise to ignore as it is to investigate.
Who knows? Could be helpful.
Could be.
Could be. Let's go check.
Go touch it.
Put it on.
Can you give it his cursed pants?
It's a coat, it's not pants.
We're the spooky forest pants. Go on.
Do it. It keeps moving. Fuck them pants, dude. Go on. Do it.
Pip keeps moving.
Fuck them pants, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just more wary that, like, a werewolf is coming.
Yeah.
Or some kind of a werecreature.
I'm on the, yeah, I'm on the lookout, alert, but I'm not stopping for a random forest coat.
Pip, you stop the group.
Yeah.
Something is trudging through the snow in front of you it's you stop trying to
make it out it's four-legged whatever it is it as it stops as it slows down you see it its head
bends down to do something in the snow when it comes back up you can see just in the complete
dead of night in the lack of moonlight with maybe just barely with dark vision, you can see it's a deer.
Okay.
That's just as concerning as anything else, Adam.
It remains on its four legs.
Yeah.
The deer turns to look at you.
It's quite clearly spotted you.
It stiffens like it's frightened itself.
Remains on its four legs, right?
It's still on its four legs.
Okay, cool.
Great to hear.
I just start keeping an eye on it, strafing kind of around it.
The second you move, it turns and bolts.
And as it bolts, at first you think it's fallen
because it goes head over heels.
But then when it lands on its back, its legs bend in the other direction
and its legs kick off.
The creature begins rolling instead deeper into the forest.
That's not an Emmanuel.
That's not a Darkplace creature.
Is that what deers do here?
That wasn't a deer.
That definitely was not a deer.
It looked like a deer.
It wasn't.
I still say, is that what a deer It looked like a deer It wasn't I still say
Is that what a deer does here?
Let's say yes
Have I ever seen a regular deer?
Yeah
Okay there are deer
There are regular animals here
What kind of a life do they lead?
If you've ever mentioned that to a local Barovian
They might have made
Once again the sign that they make when
They talk about stride And then refused to give it a name a local Barovian, they might have made, once again, the sign that they make when they mention Strahd.
And then refused
to give it a name and just described it as
something that hunts deer.
That's horrible shit, dude.
Oh, I don't like that.
Alright, it takes you
a little while, but you find the road.
You're not where you were,
and you don't know if they're
to the south or to the north.
One direction will lead you towards the Salenka Pass.
Actually, yeah, you just don't know which direction to go to hit the Salenka Pass
and which direction to go to hit the wagon,
and maybe one direction hits both, and the other direction just leads you to the mist.
Yeah, okay.
It's hard to know.
Yep.
Pick a direction. Pick a direction and go. Yeah. It's hard to know. Pick a direction.
Pick a direction and go.
It's not worth staying out all night.
Left or right?
Is there anything
that will be a discernible difference between
it in terms of going left
or going right? Not that you know of.
Then left. Why not?
So, call it Jack
as you're the one who said left. Odds or evens? Odds. Odds? Okay. So, call it Jack, as you're the one who said left.
Odds or evens?
Odds.
Odds?
Yeah.
Okay.
How long are you willing to travel?
Until you see someone?
I would say, because I guess we have no gauge of how far up the road we are.
Is there, like, a period of time that we could be walking before we're like reasonably we should have seen something by now?
You were too lost to know.
I was going to say, with the, I guess, natural sloping, does it become harder if we're going uphill, right?
Yeah.
That's towards, presumably, the selectable pass.
I guess if we're noticing that, then we would notice within 30 minutes. Yeah, yeah. 30 minutes?
Is that how long you're going to give it?
I'd say so, yeah.
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So first off, both of you take a point of cold damage for being out exposed at night.
And you travel 15 minutes and see a light ahead of you.
Does it look like a firelight or does it look like lantern lights?
It's hard to tell.
It looks like a fire, but a fire inside.
It could be in the wagon.
Would they have done that? I feel like
Piran wouldn't let them light a
fire in a wooden wagon.
Also, a light is pretty obvious,
but also I guess you need the warmth.
Can we approach just stealthily?
Just quietly? You could try. Yeah. That's what I'm going to start doing anyway. I you need the warmth. Can we approach just stealthily? Just quietly?
You could try.
Yeah.
That's what I'm going to start doing anyway.
I'm on the horse.
Oh, yeah, you're on the horse.
I guess you decide.
All right.
You attempt to approach quietly.
Pip, you're quite quiet,
but Hector, no matter what you do,
for some reason you can't stop the crunching of the snow around you.
So unfortunately you're making a bit of noise.
It's horse hoofs, man.
It's hard to do.
I've got good news and I've got bad news.
Okay, give us that bad news, baby.
The good news is in the light you see the wagon.
Okay. The bad news is you see a light, just a light, hovering near the wagon.
As you approach, it drifts off into the woods.
Is that a willy wispy? Looked like one. Was that into the woods. Is that a willy wispy?
Looked like one.
There was a willy wispy.
I hope they didn't...
Is it kind of abnormal behavior for a willy wispy to come so close?
A little bit, yeah.
It wasn't hostile at all, which is...
Willy wispies are definitely a malevolent spirit.
Well, not spirit.
They're a fey, but...
A spy?
I mean, a willy wispy, What they do is they hide in the forest.
They make you chase them.
Have we lit a torch yet?
Because if not, I light a torch.
Yeah.
I'd say we're going by moonlight.
And then we approach, but carefully,
because I'm worried that Pyrrhon set up a trap.
All right.
You continue to approach.
As you get closer,
you hear from the side of the road,
psst,
hey!
I look around.
It's not the direction
the willy-wispy went.
Okay.
You look in a different direction
and you see Piran's head
poking out from behind a tree.
Alright, yeah,
we'll go and approach.
Just for you to come.
What the fuck was that?
It was a willy-wispy, I say.
Were you hearing, like, you know, calls of distress from the forest?
No, I was on guard, just wandering around the wagon, and I saw a little light approaching, and then I hid to watch what it was going to do.
That's very strange behavior from a willy-wispy.
Good.
I caught a blushing tarposser in in the wagon sleeping right right we i explain what
happened we found a cabin and a bunch of fucked up shit i think great incredible you know what
that sounds like not our fucking problem well well i think that would be the case except i'm
assuming that willie wispy willie wispy's kind of straddle the line
between undead and fey and hags that's fey that's you know definitely fey so my assumption is that
whatever is in the cabin probably by the time that willie wispy makes its way to the cabin
knows where we are great good um the the the the dusk hags i mean they know where we are
that's true uh so we know they don they know where we are. That's true.
Well, they don't know where we are.
They don't know that we've bunked down here in the cab, in the wagon, but now...
But yes, we found, I'm assuming, their lair, or at least whatever they were afraid of.
It had...
It seems...
The head of its coven or perhaps
their matriarch
it had all the hallmarks of a
hag location but
the graves like here lies my tenth
daughter yeah oh I mean it screams
hag but I'm assuming the hags are
granddaughter the hags are the other
its grandchildren yeah
is there like a thing where you can get
like a yeah like a matriarch hag that is in charge of various kinds of hags?
Yeah, I mean, it's typically, once again, a coven of hags is typically three hags.
But you said it before, I don't know if you remember this, but it's a daughter, mother.
Maiden mother crone.
Yeah, maiden mother.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, typically a coven is maiden, mother, crone.
So I would imagine maybe inside the cabin is, well, mother, perhaps, to the rest of the hags.
So the ones we fought with the maidens?
Yes, that could be the case.
It's atypical for a maiden to represent many hags, but that's very possible.
Where's the crone either way we need to either get out of here or prepare for a siege good
the willow wispy it is so the the others are in that wagon and it is hovering above why didn't
jack well maybe it's just a scout. Well, if I had to guess,
not that I know much about the undead or Fae,
but if I had to guess,
it was to give me a fucking heart attack.
Right, okay.
We do need to have a...
I guess keep down for the night.
Can we move?
I look around.
I'm just like,
making a...
Yes, do we just prepare for a siege?
There's nowhere for us.
We're not taking the wagon with us.
And if we try and make it to Selenka Pass
before the sun comes up, we'll freeze to death.
So, yeah.
Maybe I'll wander over to the wagon.
Okay.
Wake up.
You hear rummaging inside.
What the devil do you... Shh's so powerful tarpos comes out first
followed by gorob and lushen we i explain the situation tarpos has a dark look as you yeah
tell her about this she nods slowly and says um uh, uh, hag, bad.
No shit.
Hmm.
And then,
and I guess the Will-O-Wispy is working with him.
Right.
She shrugs,
uh,
Will-O-Wisp,
not my wheelhouse.
I would imagine.
Uh,
I mean,
I don't know for sure. Could have just been a curious Willy Wispy,
but I'd rather hedge our bets and prepare for a possible attack.
Siege?
Unlikely.
Why did you say that?
Tapos gestures to the wagon
didn't protect much last time.
That's true.
I suppose then
it's just an all-out fight, really, isn't it?
She shrugs.
Or nods, sorry. She nods.
Okay, so I guess we need to prepare for an attack,
but at least right now we should probably rest while we can.
Oh, well, sorry to wake you up then.
It's less about...
If you have anything to prepare, prepare it.
Otherwise, I guess, let's try to get some of us to get some shut-eye.
Yeah, that's a good idea. Don't be exhausted for the coming battle. God damn it. otherwise I guess let's try to get some of us to get some shut eye yeah
that's a good idea
don't be exhausted
for the
coming battle
god damn it
okay
uh
Tarpos
go
come back
soon
where are you going
speak
to
to forest
all right
great
that's your
helpful
yes thank you
all right
she trudges off into the snow.
Gorob and Lushen follow after her.
My lady, please, let us follow you.
We will keep you safe.
Not that you need keeping safe.
Honestly, to have a break from them, I don't even mind.
They could go together.
Fantastic.
Piran, shivering, trudges over to the two of you and says,
I wouldn't suppose either of you have a shovel, would you?
Yes, I do. I procure a shovel.
He takes the shovel.
I'm actually a little upset
that you have this. Well, that's fine
though.
I'm going to make a trap.
I will also set up a cordon of arrows
just because it's something I can do.
Alright, you set up a cordon of arrows and you
hear in the dark,yrrhon digging.
Do you, Hector, do you need anything to do?
Yeah, sure.
I can't really help you.
Get sticks, make them sharp.
Can do.
All right, do you have a dagger?
Surely.
Maybe not.
You might not.
Do you have anything with a blade i've got the spear probably
be very difficult with that pyrrhon hands you his silver dagger i expect this back like before the
fight uh yes of course all right he returns to what he's actually you know what actually you dig
i will sharpen i give the uh dagger back He hands you your shovel back
He points out where
He points out several locations that he's digging
He's not digging one big pit
He's digging little holes
He's like one of their legs will fall in
We'll create it's a
Quite a clever little trap
It's not my invention though
We stick rather than pointing up
We stick these sharp sticks pointing down.
Their foot goes in, and when it tries to come back out, it impales itself on the sticks.
Oh, that's clever.
It becomes trapped.
Yes.
Wish I had some cold iron.
Wish we had a chance to acquire cold iron.
Well, actually, I don't know if I could have procured it back at Kutri but if only I'd known
I suppose
all we have is
that spear
that's made from
ivory
yeah
that's right
I don't think
that's cold iron there
I don't think ivory
hurts much
but elephants
alright
you
prepare
a area
Tarpos at a certain point
comes back with
Gorob Lushen
and Tarpos at a certain point comes back with Gorob Lushen. And Tarpos says, trees scared.
This is time for trees works different for us.
But trees know this person is not old to this place.
Is new.
Not new either, but not old to this place. It's new. Not new either, but not old.
Well done, boss.
I mean, trees don't count days.
Trees count seasons, but different to us as well.
Okay.
to us as well.
Okay.
So maybe something between five years-ish.
Five, six years-ish.
Okay.
Can I match that up
with anything in the timeline
I know of Barovia's history?
Well, that does predate
your arrival in Barovia.
Either way.
About a year before.
It's hard to say.
You're very unfamiliar
with this area
once again Keening would have been the person
he'd be perfect to have
wonder how he's doing
I hope well with the tongue man
distantly another ball of fire
explodes Valakai
well I guess they've been here long enough
for them to bury at least 10
of their kind.
That's true.
How long do they live?
That is very quick, trees say.
What that means, don't know.
Trees say the bodies are a quick thing.
Okay.
Just sort of spitballing.
Perhaps there's some kind of attempt to create a granddaughter that's not
going well and when they're so they're we fought the crones maybe how do you how do hags breed
hags are made by other hags so actually that does make a lot of sense ah it'ss to create more hags, I suppose. Hags like to create.
Ultimate creation is corruption for hag.
Corrupt person make another hag.
Why they're dying, I don't know, though.
And this is only, they corrupt a woman?
Or is it, can they use anybody?
Sometimes, usually woman, but sometimes man.
The hag we fought in the orphanage was a fellow
well
Tapos doesn't know that
Tapos just grunts
yeah
yeah
just the
the
the Vistani
we saw running
yeah that right
he was a
a bloke
I guess he was
a desire
if they caught him
could they turn him
into another
yeah
very possibly
we've got rid of
there was six
we got rid of four there there's two, we saw
two come in. Two go in,
one's inside.
There was a smaller one, and then
there was a small... The smaller
figure that went into
the hut first was not the same
as the one that did the rattling.
Or was it? No, it wasn't
the same. So the old hunched
figure, that was the one that went in,
then came back out, rattled something.
Okay, so it was the same.
Oh, that one, yes.
Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking about the fucking one.
No, no, no.
No, yeah, no, that was the same, correct, yes.
Okay, so we've got, well, we've got whatever was the rattling,
which let's presume is the crone?
The crone, yes.
Yes, okay. So it's maiden crone and? Maiden mother crone. Maiden mother crone. Let's assume that is the crone. The crone, yes. Yes, okay.
It's maiden crone and maiden mother crone.
Maiden mother crone.
Let's assume that is the crone.
All right.
Because the others seem to bow down before it.
Right, yes.
So inside, crone.
Okay, then we've got the rattle.
Yes, then we've got two of the mothers.
Right.
That's not quite kind of like typically how it works, is it?
Where you might
have like a group of hags representing the mother rather than one hag representing the mother uh it's
or once again it's typically three yeah hags and in that instance yes but with bigger groups of
hags multiple hags might represent yeah yeah okay typically there'll still only ever be one crone
but there can be multiple mothers.
All right.
So say they're the mothers or the maidens.
I don't know.
And then we've killed four of them, and then they've probably got another one in that.
How long does a hag take to gestate?
Do I know this?
It depends.
It depends on the hag.
It depends on a lot of things.
It can vary pretty greatly from something like... And then also it depends on the hag, depends on a lot of things. It can vary pretty greatly from something like, and then also depends on the person being corrupted.
It could take, if you start with like a particularly evil person.
It could be quick.
Yeah, it could be like a day.
Depends on the hag and depends on the person.
Let's say that person, that's three.
Right.
Three hags, three maidens or mothers and one crone yeah but then if say it's three maidens
one crone who's the mother i don't know i don't know i mean i didn't look at the other graves
perhaps the the graves were here lies my granddaughter assuming perhaps that's the
maiden and then the mothers i am aware peering says that that I don't know exactly how this could necessarily fit into things, but I'm aware that people go missing in Kuchuri sometimes.
When they leave Kuchuri?
No, people just go missing sometimes in Kuchuri.
This has not been a problem.
I mean, sometimes people go into the abattoir and don't
come out but that's not really the same thing sometimes people just disappear off the street
and this has got nothing to do with any of the three well i haven't been able to deduce what
happened it's i the only reason i mention it is because it's a dead end in my knowledge wise
usually someone goes missing off the streets i know it's a smuggling operation is it this it's
that this is i sometimes people just go missing do i is it a thing where they need maiden mother
crone like they need to be those or could you theoretically get a coven of all mothers or of
all maidens you can yeah get a coven of equal equal levels yeah i was just wondering i'm like maybe
maybe the situation is where they have mother they have crone and they need maiden they take
people off the streets of kuturi or out of the woods and try and change quite a distance for
them to travel unless unless somebody within kuturi is delivering them to the hags i only
said that the vististani were good.
I mean, it would make no sense.
I mean, were they getting people down here?
But then why would then they turn on them?
Morro hag is a kind of hag.
It's a hag that makes deals.
So maybe the crone is a morro hag, say,
and it's been making a deal with the people in kuturi so they deliver
people to the hags and in return they receive something but honestly i don't know well we don't
have enough information frankly yeah um the the the wagon with the like the gouge out of it the
biggest gouge was that about as big as the hags we fought?
Yeah, it looks like one of the dusk hags would have done
that. Oh, there's the big
mama crone. Okay, never mind.
Mama crone.
And is it common
for hags to hang out with
other hags? Yeah, it happens.
It's entirely possible.
I mean, hags, you know, they have certain sets of rules,
but like every creature from the dark places,
they don't always stick to them.
Okay.
Very frustrating.
I guess we prepared as well as we can
to set up a watch and try to get some shut-eye.
The night goes by uneventfully.
All right.
Okay. Well, I say uneventfully.
What's this?
Never mind. Sorry, it's a
you don't get attacked by hags, but there's still random encounters.
You're making a lot of good noises, Adam, on this one.
An unrelated, some unrelated creature is about to step into your heavily defended position.
All right.
So are you taking watches?
Yeah.
Cool.
So let's say this is the second watch.
Who would be on second watch?
I'd assume maybe me and Pip might have done
the first watch because we're like, well
we're up anyway. We're still probably
pumping full of adrenaline. We'll take the
first watch.
Hector, you're
looking in a different direction, but Pip
you see some figures
staggering in the darkness
towards you. They are
humanoid, but they're not moving.
They're moving like they might be hurt,
to be honest. Okay.
You can make out maybe
16 of them.
They're just moving, not necessarily
on the road, just in your direction
along the road. They're kind of just
spaced out. When you say when they're moving like they're
hurt, are they moving like they're shambling?
Some might describe them as shambling. Like a slow zombo might
move. Oh fuck, zombies. I'll
slam you in the breastplate and point and then donk, donk, donk, donk, donk
on the roof of the... I imagine I'm sitting on the roof of the... Divine sense, straight
away. That's a limit of 60 feet, right? Yeah. The engagement range is
currently longer than 60 feet. Alright, then I won't do it straight away.
I'll wait until there's 60 feet. And by then we'll probably see
that there's... No, it's very dark. Oh, well, your darkvision actually is
60 feet, isn't it? Yeah. Alright.
Unfortunately, your darkvision is going to hit basically at the
same time as your divine sense.
So then I don't divine sense.
Do Gorub and Lushen obviously have darkvision?
I'll ready a spear and shield.
All right.
Get in a defensive position.
Once they come within 60 feet, you see it's a horde of zombies.
Zombies.
Oh, no.
Let's go to initiative. Why is there a horde of zombies. Zombies. Oh, no. Let's go to initiative.
Why is there a horde of zombies?
Aye.
Aye.
Okay.
Cool.
Time to refresh myself on Emmanuel's thoughts on Bog Men, Dry.
So they're within 60 feet.
Tarpos goes first.
Tarpos cannot see, so they're going to take disadvantage on this
Unless actually
Tarpos turns to look at the two of you
And says make daylight
Yeah
Let me check the range on that
60 feet perfect
Tarpos casts daylight
That rolls
Bright light extends
Oh yeah and then dim light additional so tapas holds up
their hand and it's like a small sun appears in their hand bright light like daylight this is the
first if this happened during the day you would have been dazzled by it it is the first time you
have seen or felt daylight in oh since coming to Barovia.
Hector, this is a religious experience for you.
I feel like I fight the urge to genreflect.
I'm like, no, no.
Your entire group has a brief sigh of relief, except Piran, who...
I'm a vampire!
Oh, my God. All right. Then it is Pip. Your turn. I'm a vampire oh my god
alright
then it is
Pip
your turn
you can now
the first row
of zombies
I'd say
the first maybe
four zombies
are brightly illuminated
and you can see
the rest of the group
beyond
but they're dimly lit
the zombies
they
they look
bedraggled
and awful
of course they usually do.
But these ones look particularly vile, wretched.
Like they've been through a power wash almost.
They're all surely wet and parts of them are frozen.
You can see all of their hair is matted to their skulls.
They look like they've been doused in water and they're nearly frozen half solid.
Their waxy, glassy eyes staring at your group hungrily.
You see they are dressed as Barovians, but it is a much, much older style.
Only some of the later generations of Barovians would be wearing clothes in this fashion
yeah it's cool that fashion changes
in Barovia if nothing else does
slowly but subtly perhaps
I will use
my
does your cordon of arrows
go off? yeah my cordon of arrows great point
I assume you put that closer
no I was actually I mean I didn't
specify but I was actually thinking I'd make it
quite broad to kind of alert
us as well. Oh, okay.
Yeah, so if that goes off.
But otherwise, I will cast Spray Shot
and try to hit every enemy in a
30-foot cone. You'd need to move forward
30 feet? Yeah, that's fine.
The cordon of arrows goes off.
You hear a small, like a thumping
sound.
And then arrows are shot in all directions.
They have resistance to this damage, unfortunately.
But two of the zombies are knocked sideways as they are splintered with little tiny shards.
Nice.
Then you scatter. I use spray shot.
Yeah, spray shot.
Sorry.
You can hit of the four in that first line, you can hit three of them.
Sure.
Hit, hit, hit.
Yes.
No worries.
Was that a 19?
Yeah.
I get 19, 20 critical.
Oh, do you?
Yeah.
Wow.
That third attack then is a critical.
The first attack deals nine points of damage.
That is, even with their resistance, enough to down one nice the second one you also
down the third one is funny to use a critical and it's funny distracting distracting jab double
damage and the target must make a con saving throw on a failed save their disadvantage on
their next attack i think 24 points of damage. It's irrelevant.
Yeah, never mind.
You kill four.
Nice.
Three, sorry, three.
All right, three of them go down.
As soon as that dull thump of your cordon of arrows,
and as soon... No, actually, sorry.
I'm so sorry.
This would have happened when Tarpos cast Daylight.
Oh, yeah.
They were silent until they saw you.
Then all of them start wailing and moaning.
Their arms come up and they start hungrily staggering towards you.
Previously, they just were kind of loping in your direction.
Now they're moving as fast as a creature that can only drag itself can move in your direction.
It's not any faster than it was previously, but it feels
awful.
It feels like they're bearing down upon you.
Alright, that was Pip.
Your turn. It's Piran's turn.
Hector, you hear
him make a scared noise
besides you. He
hides.
That's his turn. Classic Piran.
He ducks around behind the wagon and you lose sight of him. It is
their turn. They move twice. 40 feet?
Oh, yeah, no. Alright, so Pip, three of them
are engaged with you, but it was just their turn to move to you.
The rest start moving around you towards the group. Oh, it's bad to be surrounded.
Oh, yeah. Oh, it's bad to be surrounded. Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's bad to be surrounded.
Gorob and Lushen scream.
And then they charge forwards.
Be careful of the traps.
Right, right, right.
Oh, no.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
How much damage can they cause in one turn?
Great question.
The eternal question with Gorob and Lushen.
Nobody better get bit.
I'm going to be chopping off limbs at the end of this fight.
It hits.
Gorob, I'm going to assume, brings down.
Yeah.
Can he even fail?
Not kill one?
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
I don't even need to roll damage.
Gorob downs two,
and then Lushen casts Burning Hands,
and, wow, five are going to get caught
in that Burning Hands.
Fuck.
It's good.
We're working through them.
It's 3d6.
We're popping and locking, baby.
Five are downed. Awesome. You're down through them. It's 3d6. We're popping and locking, baby. Five are down.
Awesome.
You're down to six.
All right.
That was Gorub and Lushen.
Hector, it's your turn.
All right.
I'll cast Sacred Flame.
That's a deck-saving throw, which they pass.
That's no damage, right?
Everybody else is just dropping them like flies.
That is very funny.
Oh, fuck.
You throw a ball of holy energy, but unfortunately, in the darkness all around you, you just miss.
Penny, be with me.
Where are you, Penny?
Oh, hang on a second.
Wait, they're undead, right?
Yeah. Oh, can I cast turn the, they're undead, right? Yeah
Oh, can I cast Turn the Undead?
You can, yeah
Cool
Or use your channel divinity to turn the undead
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Channel divinity
They're like the fucking poster child for undead
Alright, so
Options
You can hit three of them
Or you can hit all six of them.
If you hit all six, you're going to take three attacks of opportunity.
Because you need to get into the center of the formation.
Let's just do three.
Alright.
I know the whole don't get bitten by a bog man comma drive.
Fail, fail, pass. Two of them fall back as you hold up your holy symbol and
scream into the darkness
that creatures of darkness fear the light.
They are turned.
I'll hold up the spear
and let the spear emit light.
Absolutely. I'll allow that.
The spear, it doesn't cost nearly
as much light as daylight, but these creatures
turn in fear
of the spear.
Two of them start scrambling away from you,
but one of them seems...
The one that is still staggering towards you,
you see its eyes have been plucked out by something.
Oh, my God.
Then, that was Hector, your turn.
Then, with all the wailing and moaning of the zombies,
you hear more wails, more wounds coming from the darkness.
Four more appear out of the night.
Their wailing can call more zombies to them.
Every round, at the end of every round, I roll to add more to the list until you completely clear them.
We've got to get rid of them.
We've got to just...
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Oh, God.
All right, okay, okay.
Oh, God.
That's the fear.
That's, yeah, killing them's not hard,
but it's relentless.
All right, it's Tarpos's turn.
Tarpos conjures a ball of flames in her hands,
and a corresponding but much bigger ball of flames
appears in the night night maybe 30 feet away
from her she slowly guides the ball of flames and it goes from zombie to zombie to zombie
churning through them uh unfortunately she only kills one of the zombies she hits hey that's
something then pip it's your turn again you are are engaged with three zombies. Okay, I would like to cast or
fire Conjure
Barrage, which is another 60
foot cone,
but it does a bunch of damage.
You can hit, I would say
of the nine currently here, you can
hit six. Great, I'll
do it. Alright, you take maybe one
step back and you
just start, you grab a fistful of bolts and you
pour them into your heavy crossbow then you quickly rub between your fingers some ginseng
and a special herb of your own concoction you slather it onto the leather of the to the leather
of the the string that catches the bolt,
and you know that that is now going to be sticky for just a brief second.
Just enough time.
So when it grabs all of the ends of the bolt,
it'll hold them just long enough to throw them forwards, basically.
And yeah, you down five.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
That was Pip.
Then it is Pirin.
You hear twang from behind you, and an arrow soars out of the darkness and strikes one of them.
That's probably, yeah.
Piran's not great on crowd control, but he does still take down one of them.
That's okay.
We got three left.
That's easy.
Garb and Lasha can probably take care of that.
Hector, you hear from behind you.
Yes! Oh, That's easy. Gorob and Lushen can probably take care of that. Hector, you hear from behind you. Yes!
Oh, that's cute.
It's the zombies' turn.
Uh-oh.
One of them attacks you, Hector.
No!
That's a miss.
Pip, you get attacked.
Oh, no, that's it.
Sorry.
Only one attacks.
The other two were feared.
Yeah, great.
That's it.
All right, that was the zombies' turn.
It's Gorob and Lushen's turn.
Gorob and Lushen
wail.
Gorob kills two and then
Lushen...
Lushen's gonna get cocky.
No.
Oh, God.
Lushen turns his head
to look at Tapos
and says, look, my lady! Without even
viewing I can destroy this!
He casts
God damn. Rubbing my snail. Yeah me too.
He casts Ray of Frost
and he gets disadvantage.
He missed.
No sorry he hits.
Okay.
Would have been very very funny. And the sorry. He hits. He hits. He hits. Okay. Okay. Okay. Would have been very, very funny.
And the last one is dead.
Well, I don't think that had anything to do with the hags.
That's just Barovia being Barovia.
Now, was anyone bit?
Hands up.
Pierron steps out from behind the wagon, shakes his head.
Everyone else slowly shakes theirs.
I think they missed me. and I think they attacked you
I'm fine no bites
I like show the bare bits of my skin
and my scales
alright well
I want to check the bodies
just to see if I can get a sense of who these people were
staying away from their mouths
because I believe they're still poisonous
after death oh and I also
get to work, and maybe I instruct everyone else.
So it's actually not over, because
they'll just come back if we're not careful,
so there's a grisly job ahead of us.
It's okay, it's okay.
Excuse you? It's very simple. It's a very
simple process. You need
to get the brain of the bog man and the
heart of the bog man and swap them.
It's actually exceptionally difficult.
You can do it in your sleep.
There were 20 in total, so we're going to need 20 checks. To be continued... Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content,
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