D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #28 Good Soup

Episode Date: November 11, 2023

The party have a bad time fighting hags and then a further bad time in her house. Pip gets the worst crit fumble of his life while Hecktor has a meal he won’t soon forget.Keep up to date with the Jarren's Outpost Board Game by heading to jarrensoutpost.com or checking out all the links here!Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out Imagination Adventures+ on our website or on Apple Podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. You're listening to the Sandspants Network.

Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated. The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strahd is our jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out and that is to kill Devil Strahd. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Come on, we working it out?

We working it out? We putting two and two together here? Yeah, yeah. Give me two and two, Zammett. She's using bits of, I would say, werewolf as well as bits of the hair to make that creature we fought.

Yay! Okay, okay. Good stuff. Alright, you are all surprised. The dusk hag that you climbed, Pip, No! attacks you. Oh no! A tree begins stalking towards you from the other side of the clearing attacks you. Oh, no. A tree begins stalking towards you

from the other side of the clearing. It's just going to be making its way towards you. Unfortunately, the second... Unfortunately. Yeah, the second Dusk Hag is not going to be able to engage you this turn. You said that like it was a ban? That's awesome to hear.

That sucks for me. That's good, Adam. I love that. It's Piran's turn. Piran is surprised. It is the Morrowhon's turn. Pyrrhon is surprised. It is the Morrowhag's turn. The Morrowhag is surprised. Pip.

Oh, you needed to make two athletics checks. You're grappled. Oh, my God. Is it a saving throw? Is it a saving throw? It's a check, actually. Do you have anything for a check? It's a strength-based check.

Do you have anything for that? No, I don't think so. No. You have reroll anything. That one feels too useful to waste here. While grappled, you cannot use your heavy crossbow. That's concerning. They are also resistant to fire. My other attack, enervating breath.

You can hit it with the little grenade that your parent has. Yeah, I no longer have that. What do I have? Well, you have fire damage on your weapon. Oh, but you can't attack while being grappled. Never mind. I can't attack at all while being grappled? Not with your heavy crossbow.

Could I attack with one of my bolts? I'll allow it. I would like to attack with one of my sleep arrows. Oh. Wait, does that work? I won't tell you if it will or won't work. You need to decide for yourself. I know the answer.

As far as I can tell, yes, it should work. Oh, this would be an improvised weapon. Nah, you missed. Sorry. But you get two attacks, don't you? Yes. You missed. I might use careful aim.

All attack rolls I make this round are done with advantage. Hit. That's enough. Now, the bolt is just going to do one point of damage plus your strength, which is four total. But it needs to make a con saving throw or fall asleep. Good news, bad news. Let's get the bad news out of the way. Bad news, you're going to fall pretty far.

Uh-huh. Damn it. Good news, it falls asleep. All right, awesome. Great. Boom! The dusk hag falls into the clearing. Pip.

Timber. Pip, you take nine points of damage. Oh, I'm getting fucked. And I've not even... Okay, that's fine. You're on 24 hit points. Okay. Oh my lord.

Jesus Christ. It's Gorrivan Lushen's turn. Charge! They sprint in. You gave them the mace, right? Yep. Oh, they're going to fuck up that hag. Awesome. That hag is in... Oh, right? Yep. Oh, they're going to fuck up that hag. Awesome.

That hag is in, oh, it's advantage because it's not asleep anymore. What? They beat the crap out of that fucking hag. Every time Gora pulls the mace back, Lushen's hand comes out and brushes it, and you see it's charged with static electricity. Hell yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom. It's like they're trying

to chop it in half. They deal 29 points of damage. Awesome. It is Tarpos' turn. Tarpos puts both of her hands up to the sky and closes her eyes. The clouds begin to... And then lightning

strikes the Dusk Hag. Fuck yeah. The Dusk Hag makes a dexterity saving throw at disadvantage. It fails. It's going to take 3d10 points of damage. Nice. The clouds don't disappear. Tar Boss is able to keep doing this.

Hector. One is stalking across the clearing, one lying prone. Presumably the Morrow Hag's here somewhere. Yep, yep, yep. I have a piercing weapon, so I'm not going to use this against a dusk hag currently. So I will channel divinity. Nice. And I will make my weapon sacred.

Okay, that's plus damage. Plus the hit, right? Add five to attack rolls. Yep, nice. All right. So that is your action. What else would you like to do? I guess moving.

I will try and... You got 30 feet, right? Yeah. Move a little bit forward and brace myself for whenever old mate comes and hits us. Okay. That was your turn, Hector. It is the Dusk Hag's turn. The Dusk Hag that is prone, now that it is awake,

it gets back up to its feet, and it's going to attack Gorub and Lushen. Do we get attacks of up on it? No, not from standing up. Sorry, that's some 3.5 shit. It whiffs it real bad. The Dusk Hag miss-miss on Gorub Lushen. The other Dusk Hag,

sprinting from the other side Of the clearing Reaches you Hector Attack Hit Attack Critical miss

Let's do the hit first You take 11 14 points of damage And you need to make An athletics check You pass You're not grappled

It just slams Into you Hector Knocking you back and then on its follow up attack Tender you deal half damage on your next attack it tries to swing at you a second time Hector but you see

as it swings you see a brief opening and you jam your spear into a very squishy looking part of its underbelly. The Dusk Hag cries out in pain. Once again, they make no noise as they fight. It cries out in pain, which is the first noise you've heard,

and then it staggers back a little bit. That is its turn. Pyrrhon. It's Pyrrhon's turn. Come on, Pyrrhon. Pyrrhon disappears. Okay, good stuff. Okay, Pyrrhon. You betterrhon disappears. Okay, good stuff. Okay.

Okay, Pyrrhon, you better be going to be dropping that in the chimney. The rest of the fight sort of relies on that, Pyrrhon. The door to the cabin opens. Uh-oh. A old woman steps out, or at first you think she steps out, but you realize, actually, she is faking the steps. She hovers slightly off the ground. Goddamn Willy Wonka son of a bitch.

Bullshit. She hovers in such a way to give herself the appearance of steps, but she's actually not touching the ground. That's something I might have explained as well. She hates dirt. It's a good way of saying it. She doesn't like it. It causes her pain to feel dirt.

Just so everyone knows. Okay. Kick up the dirt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If all else fails, yeet dirt at her. The old woman pulls up a hand,

snaps her fingers, and then fire is everywhere. Oh, okay. All of you need to make dexterity saving throws. Okay. Oh, no. Interesting. Fire everywhere, you say.

You all fail. Fuck. Okay. We've got to re-roll a dex-based check with advantage. One of you can benefit from that. Would one of you like to benefit from that? Um... Yeah?

You've got to fire resistance. That's true. No, you take it. I'll be fine. Okay. I'm resistant to flame. This won't even bother me none. Okay.

Is that half damage, though, for you? Yes. So re-roll with advantage? Yeah, I was saying, you're fairly fucked right now. This won't even bother me none Is that half damage though for you? Yes So re-roll with advantage? Yeah, you're fairly fucked right now I'll be alright, I get 26 hit points I guess I'll do the advantage Half damage for you Okay, so

10 23 23 points of damage to everyone except Pip, Hector, and the Dusk Hag there, who only take 11 points of damage. Nice. Pip, you're on 13 hit points. That's concerning. That's concerning stuff.

Yep. Okay. In good news, the Dusk Hag that you're fighting, currently engaged with, also takes 11 points of damage. That's good. It was caught in the conflagration. Pip? I am going to drink my potion of defending me against damage and magic.

Okay. That's your action? Yep. Anything else? As a bonus action, I'll cast Hunter's Mark on the morrow hag. You reach into your component pouch, take out some owl dust rub it underneath your eye how dust otherwise known as cocaine i have to i have to dust and i yeah cast hunter's mark in

your vision you see the morrow hag becomes the outline of the morrow hag becomes sharper and you can tell it better from the surroundings. Awesome. Maybe even with this, you feel like everything's... It's like the world is moving from standard to high definition. You can just see, poking out from under the hood, just the bare little crest

of that third eye. It's Gorub and Lushen's turn. They're going to keep wailing on this dusk hag that was engaging you, Pip. That is a hit and a critical hit. Nice. So let's do the regular. Oops, that's not their regular hit.

This is their regular hit. They deal 18 points of damage on their first one. And then. Where's bludgeoning? Shattered. Oh, no. This is fucked up. Shattered knee.

It's happening again. Shattered knee. Quadruple damage. And the target's speed is reduced by half. Additionally, for every five feet the target moves, it takes a D6 damage. Oh, my God. All right. Quadruple damage.

Oh, well. Knees. Knees. The older I get, the more afraid for my knees I become. If I think about jumping on a trampoline, imagine what that would do to your kneecaps. My God. They deal 68 points of damage.

That morohag is dead. Awesome. Awesome. One morohag down, one to go. All right. Good. Good stuff. I remember this!

Korob screams. Good, good, good, good, good, good. It is. I remember this! Korob screams. Good, good, good, good, good, good. It is Tapos' turn. Tapos screams and then another bolt of lightning hits the morrow hag this time. That is Tapos. Hector, it's your turn. Cool. I'm going to cast Radiant Soul.

How far away is the Morrowhag? The Morrowhag would be another 60 feet from you. Can I fly out of the reach of the Duskhag? It gets an attack of opportunity. If I fly straight up or if I disengage? In any way, when you leave, if you do not take the disengage action, then you will take an attack of opportunity. Damn.

Yeah, all right. And I will cast it and I'll fly up. All right. Nat 20. Oh, fuck. I re-roll anything, Adam. Okie dokie. He's got you there.

He's got you there. No. Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck. Remember the things you gave up for this. Oh, my God. Remember the things you gave up for this. Fuck.

God damn it. Good news. It's one of the weaker critical hit cards You're still going to get hit You have disadvantage on your next melee attack Okay Now you take 11 points of damage and you need to make

an athletics check You pass So you're able to fly up and presumably over What's your fly speed right now? 30 feet And you used an action to activate that flying ability, right? Correct. So you can just move 30 feet up,

which basically puts you at the Dusk Hag's face. But next turn... Well, no, actually, you would be able to... No, no, no, sorry. You would have been able to get up and over the Dusk Hag. As long as I'm clearing the Dusk Hag, I don't need to be near the Morrow Hag. I just need to clear the Dusk Hag.

Sure, that's fine. You don't need to worry about another attack. Thank you. That's good to hear. I'd say, well, maybe the Dusk Hag is quite tall, but you're trying to fly angled and stuff like that. Yeah, it's fine. You're out of the Dusk Hag's range. It's the Dusk Hag's turn.

I could be such a shit. I could be such a shit. Why not? I could be such a little pissy shit man. Now's the time, dude, to be your piss man best. The Duskhag moves and attacks. Oh, actually, whoa, hmm.

No, it's going to attack Gorob and Lushen, actually. No, because they fucking killed... Yeah, of all the threats right now, Gorob and Lushen, actually. No, because they fucking killed... Yeah, of all the threats right now, Gorob and Lushen seem pretty... No, actually, that makes more sense. Miss. Uh-oh.

Hit. All right, Gorob and Lushen take 18 points of damage. Okay. And they're going to need to make an athletics check. Gorob and Lushen. No, I'm not grappled. I forgot they got great athletics. Alright, so the Dusk Hag slashes at Gorobin Lushen, knocking

them back, but not much else happens. Then, from somewhere along the tree line, Pip, you and Hector, both of you see like a little shiny something just flies from the tree line, strikes at the Mrow hag's feet. There's an explosion, and the morrow hag.

Shit, come, fucker. Remember this. I forgot about this. And Pyrrhon hits the morrow hag with the gem that you gave him. Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome. Good to hear. You little fuckers. I'll slit your goddamn throats!

They're so such potty mouths. Jesus Christ. It's the morrow hag's turn. And Hector, the morrow hag looks up at you and you stare directly into its third eye. The one thing I was

told not to do. Hector. You pass the saving throw. You feel an awful aura wash over you, and for a brief moment, you feel like something real bad was about to happen. And then it does. Magical mishap.

Hector, roll on the wild magic table. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. This could be really bad. Roll on the wild magic table Okay Oh no Oh no This could be really bad Or really good Well that's true It is a gamble

Or inconsequential Those are the three options That is the gamut of wild magic That is Alright That's the d8 Seven So what is that? That is necromancy

Oh no So you get a necromancy wild magic The higher the worse they are And how high was this? 78 Alright dude Oh no Wow

This is really bad But not you, but also yes for you. Wow, okay, Kutcheri's going to be fucked when you get back. What just happened? What happened? Kutcheri's going to be real fucking bad. What happened? Hector, you feel twang. Something in the weave of magic breaks.

You look up. You can't see from this side of Mount Gakus, but you look up to where Kuchuri is, and you feel something rippling there, and you hear distant screaming. What did you do? What the fuck? All right. And then it is Pip, your turn. Okay. Well, I didn't notice that. Distant screaming What did you do? What the fuck? Alright And then it is Pip your turn Okay well I didn't notice that No you did not

I'm gonna fire two fire arrows at the morrow hag From my position And I'm gonna make them precise shots So they have advantage Even though I think they already had advantage But hey still First attack's a crit Second attack is just a regular hit

So let's deal with that first one Between the shoulders Maximum damage and roll the damage dice again. Oh, nice. So you, oh, man. Oh, man. This is going to fuck them up. I take that moment where the wild magic goes off and they both pause to let it happen. Why has she just stopped?

Why has Hector just stopped? Twang, twang. Why has she just stopped? Why has Hector just stopped? Twang, twang. Alright, so you're gonna deal 41 points of damage to the hag. Hell yes.

Ah, you little cunt! Oh, that's right. Then you deal another 21 points of damage. Hell yes. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Come in my eye! Come in my eye! Oh my god, Bones of Bove, what the hell? It's Gorob and Lushen's turn.

Gorob and Lushen are going to engage the second Dusk Hag. It's happening again. That's a regular hit and a critical hit. It's happening again! Soften them up. Triple damage and the target must make a DC 14 con saving throw. On a failed save, they have disadvantage on saving throws for 1d4 plus 1 rounds. Oh, my God.

So, 63 points of damage. It's bloodied. Wow. Allied. Wow. All right. Okay. Gorob and Lushen have never seemed happier. Tapos makes lightning happen again. She switches targets to the Dusk Hag,

and so she deals five points of damage. Okay, well. A mighty blow, my lady! Truly, this kill is yours! Tapos might not be very great at social cues, but she fucking knows. She's not that stupid, Gorob and Lushen. Heck, it's your turn.

Oh, why don't we call you that? I do it in Discord for some reason, but I've never done it in-game. Okay, I will cast a bonus action, Hexblade Curse on that morrow hag and then i will jam the spear into its belly as best as i can twice hits but half damage hit uh and uh uh uh yes it was a flame attack for the first one so unfortunately that's the one that's going to deal half damage. And while we're here, why don't we just burn a second level smite?

All right. So you jam that spear as deep and as hard as you can into her. Are you trying to hit the bale for life? God, no. All right. Cool. No worries. You stab her in the belly.

Come! I don't like that this is a cum-obsessed bag. Me neither. Come! That's weird. She screams. She bellows, even. It is the dust cag.

The dust cag fights back at Gorb and Lushen. Hit, hit. Gorb and Lushen are going to take 10 plus 18. 22 points of damage. They need to make two. Oh, Gorb and Lushen, why didn't you rage? You idiots. You fools.

They need to make two athletics checks. They pass, pass. Okay. It's Piran's turn. Piran starts sprinting towards the side of the morohag. The morohag's staring at you. Hector, it's not paying attention. Piran grabs her by the shoulder, spins around,

and tries to stab her right in the fucking eye with one of his daggers. Awesome. Oh, no advantage. Saved your fucking bacon, Piran. You were nearly about to look real stupid. In front of all his friends. We'd have mocked him mercilessly. Piran stabs the

morrow hag in the eye. Good. The morrow hag dies. Yes! No! No! Come! Come! The morrow hag bursts into flames and becomes just a pile of ash with a cloaked hood on top of it. Piran, as he reels back, you, Hector, you're the only one close enough.

You hear, wom, wom, wom. You look at Piran's dagger. It has an eye stabbed into it, and it's glowing red. Oh, cool. I guess you got the eye. I don't know if there's much use to us. If somebody had been sort of fucked by the eye,

we would have had to melt it down, and they would have had to drink it. I'm not going to lie. I wasn't paying much attention when you were talking. It was just, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, was just in my ears pip it's your turn there's still the dust oh that's right um i'll spin around and i'll fire two arrows into the dust hag as well i know they're not bludgeoning but hey here we are critical miss oh shit oh no did you check the sofa cushions this projectile cannot be recovered. No!

No! No! And then a regular hit, you deal 12 points of Cretaceous Marks damage. Yeah, I know. All right. Then it is Gorbun Lushen's turn. Slaying through the snow! Bells on bells on bells. They've just remembered some Gnomes Moose carols.

Gorub and Lushen slay the last Dusk Hag. Hey. Awesome. We're out of combat. I guess before my... Someone took a wound. Oh, no. Oh, out of combat. I guess before my... Someone took a wound. Pip. Oh, no.

Oh, that's right. Well, that's... Before my wings, I guess, wear off, I'd like to fly up high and then scan whatever we can see at that land. So I guess a nice little scout. That's a good idea. You saw what Pip saw previously, but aside from that, you see not much else.

You can't get a view of Kootree from where you are. Oh, I figured as much. Yeah. You hear the screaming. Yeah. Bruised windpipe. The character cannot speak above a whisper until they have taken a long rest. Oh, my God.

That's in there. It sucks. Remember this one? Yeah. The egg hit me in the neck. All right. Congratulations. Good job.

Thank you. We fucking went for it. Okay, how is everybody looking? My neck's fucked. I can't. This will... I was like palpating it, giving a bit of a... When this happened to me, this is what helped.

It's just going to suck. But if you have a lozenge, to be honest, if we have one. Let me just… I'll just have a little. There was a jar of honey that we had. We still have some of that. That might help a little bit. Thank you.

Yeah, sure. Can we afford to waste the honey on this? What are we saving it for? Good question. But honestly, hold me some more. I just need some rest. I'll make you a cup of tea when we... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. All right. Well, well done, everybody. So I guess you want to get to harvesting? Yes, I'll get to harvesting. And I guess we need to... So I looked when I went there, the graves

had no arms. No arms. I relay that Ludmilla. I think this is all Ludmilla. Fuck. They've probably, that's the deal. Who knows what else they've harvested? If they've taken stuff

from the werewolves and the hags, who knows what else they've harvested If they've taken stuff from The werewolves and the hags Who knows what else they've done They can create the Bogman comma dry Capable of anything Perrin gives like a little hmm And both of you Hector you don't recognize this

Bad boy card for me Nice Oh boy Players receive minimum Recognize this. Bad boy card for me. Nice. Oh. Oh, boy. Players receive minimum healing from a rest. Oh, no. Yeah. Hector, you don't recognize this, but Pip, you see, I wouldn't call it admiration, actually, but like, Piran is quite clearly impressed by Ludmilla.

I already know he's a freak. Yeah, look look fair enough Also while they were doing something I think they did something to Kutcheri. I heard screaming from here You shouldn't be able to hear anything this far down

It was for a brief moment I saw the weave of magic and She did hit you I don't know. I i saw the weave of magic and yeah right so she did hit you i don't know i just saw the the weave of magic i could see it so clearly and i could see it did you cast any magic afterward i didn't cast any magic of i i just i just saw it snap and then make a i just kept snapping you may have to drink the eye liquefied, I say. Just to be sure.

It won't harm you, it just won't taste very good. If I'm not affected, will it? Wait, why am I doing this? So, beware the morrow hag's baleful eye, for it disrupts a spellcaster's visions of thy magic weave. Which sounds like what happened to you. Magic you weave, sorry. If a caster doth stare into the morrow hag's third eye, thou shalt find control of the weave magics disrupted and random. The effect can only be remedied by the consumption of the baleful eye.

That cursed thy said eye must be liquefied and drank as a potion. I'll set to work making that. eye that cursed thy said eye must be liquefied and drank as a potion. I'll set to work making it. Maybe we'll use the honey for that so it's not so distasteful. I appreciate it. I don't think I can, but I saw the weave, so. If you saw the weave that sounds like it sounds like it, you know.

Purin offers the dagger that he stabbed the eye with. I pull the eye off and make a potion. Alright, there's no check required. It's just a, you just need to mulch it into some water. Oh, it's foul. I pour some honey in there to try and. Unfortunately, you're pretty confident that making it sweet would ruin the potion. Okay, then I just say there's honey in it.

I believe. Just down it in one. I believe there's honey in it. Hector, you have had some abhorrent meals in Barovia, but hag eye soup is perhaps the worst. I couldn't mush it up quite completely. I'm sorry. Keep it down.

You have to keep it down, Hector. I'm so sorry. Well done. I give you some honey now. I'm sorry I lied about the honey. I thought I could taste something sweet. I guess I just... Maybe consuming honey within the next 24 hours will ruin it.

Or maybe that's just Adam. I just had hoped it was... Rub that into my gums. Sweet, sweet yellow gold. Gold is yellow. Or some might say gold colored. Who knows? Some might say that.

Some might. Not I. Yeah. Well, I guess while we assess the situation, we search the bodies and then at some point, I guess one of us will go into the hag's house. Pip, I think if you would like to do what you do. Yeah, I'll be gutting these. Gutting these.

I'll be gutting these. A little bit of Keening coming through. Gutting. Too early in the year for getting tired of beans. All right. You find four coutail eggshells. Show me coutel egg shells. You get, oh, somehow only, no, I'll re-roll that because that doesn't seem right.

You get, that also doesn't seem right. You either got one or six hag eyes. Let's split that down. Six would make sense. Six from the dusk. Oh, that's right. There are three hags. I'll give you the full six.

Get the six haggis. Makes more sense than one. Technically, there were seven haggis to be collected. I drank one. That's right. You did drink one. You didn't need to. You didn't know.

Good role playing, though. There's no negative effects to drinking a haggis if you don't have to. I hadn't even thought of that. That'd be foolish. It wouldn't do anything. That'd be foolish. I wouldn't do anything. That'd be foolish. How's Hector's tummy? You get three doses of Roper tentacle.

Ooh. You get one dose of Aboleth mucus. Ooh. And, oh my God, six amethysts. Nice. While you're doing that, maybe... So we are doing that. Oh, not done with looting yet. Oh, While you're doing that, maybe, so we are doing that. Oh, not done with looting yet. Oh, never mind then.

Actually, no, I will see, I was going to do regular looting, but actually, let's get to, let's finish the house, then I'll give you some regular loot. Right, yes. And while Pip is harvesting, I'll, okay, so we probably should look into the,

I know that hags are just awful, awful, awful, awful people. They have a terrible reputation, I'll give you that. Yeah, yeah. So I know to brace myself for like what to perhaps – what might be in its house, right? I mean – I know that like there's going to be some potential horrible stuff. Yes. Okay, cool. right? I know that there's going to be some potential horrible stuff. So I'm not going to be absolutely like, what? This hag?

What do you mean they're evil? Oh no, body parts! Let's have a look through their heart. There might be more information of what they've been doing and perhaps how to destroy what Ludmilla was creating on that.

Piran, can I explain the sigil that we saw in the Salenka Pass? You can attempt to. It's not Salenka Pass, is it? It's all something else. No, it's Salenka Pass. I keep thinking I'm doing a Breaking Bad thing. No, it's Salenka Pass. Yeah, you're good.

You're right. You're thinking of Salamanca. I am. Salenka Pass is somewhere else. No, Salamander. Salamander is the name of the monster. Yeah, that's right. Excuse me.

Sorry, it's a little lizard guy. It's not a monster. They're too cute to be monsters. Yeah. They're like fire. So I explained what we saw in the Salamanca Pass. Is that a salamander? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're good, you're good, you're good. Oh, thank God. I explained why I saw this Salamanca Pass with the sigil. I was just like, so if we could look, she might have booby trapped it all. This one in particular. Explain that particular sigil. Sure, sure. Piran inspects the door.

He runs his fingers over the gaps. As he's doing so, you can hear him whispering, muttering some things to himself. He gently experimentally turns the door handle. Then you hear him put his ear up against the door and tap on several just seemingly random parts of the door the entire time, once again muttering to himself.

When he finishes, he turns around to you and he says, I am quite confident there is no trap placed upon the door, magical or mundane. That is good no trap placed upon the door, magical or mundane. All right, well, that is good. We'll open the door. All right, Perrin takes a few steps back and you open the door.

Okay, Perrin. Inside is the first room that you encounter is a kitchen of After a Fashion. There's a dining table with room enough for four people to sit at. There's a kitchen area. with room enough for four people to sit at. There's a kitchen area. There's a couple of, what do you call them, wardrobe-type glass for storing of plates and glasses.

Like a display case. Yeah, a display cabinet, if you will. And just randomly, pell-mell, sitting around the room, are dolls. Uh-oh. Many, many, many dolls. You would guess, it's too many to count very quickly, but you would guess that there are maybe a total of 40 dolls in this room. Great to hear.

There is a big archway leading into what looks like a living room or perhaps a rumpus room. You can see there's a big kind of moth-eaten, but largely everything that you've seen so far looks pleasant. There's no gore or disgusting bits on anything. But there is an old moth-eaten looking couch. And lying on the couch and next to the couch is a half-knitted sweater and a bunch of balls of yarn. You can also see in that rumpus room another massive, you can't see all of it because part of it's hidden behind the wall, but you can see a massive display case that is packed with more dolls. And in the rumpus room, there are even more dolls just sitting around the place.

Then there's also in the kitchen a door that leads to parts unknown. Okay. All right. Well, I don't enter. Wise. Okay. There's a lot of dolls. Dolls?

Yeah, dolls. Are they any of them? Get my hands out of the hag's guts. Pip? Yeah? There's a lot of dolls in this house. I walk up the steps to the front entrance, maybe like just wiping hair and blood down on my shirt,

and I'll peer inside. You see the same thing that Hector saw? Many, many dolls? Does every carrionette, or as Emmanuel would put it, little guy, do they all have somewhere on them whatever it is, Dingus' toy shop? Blinsky? Blinsky. Blinsky?

No, no, no, no, sorry. Blinsky doesn't make these dolls. Okay. They're a natural occurring creature. So they would, I mean, some of them might, you might have absolutely encountered some that have, in camouflage, written Blinsky on themselves but blinsky yeah it doesn't make them there's no guarantee that you'll see okay that was i was

like maybe that's just a way to check can i hmm i with my crossbow held gripped very tightly in my hands i'd like to just scan the dolls for any obvious signs that we're dealing with anything other than just regular dolls. Similar to the movie iRobot, which you as Will Smith, you move through many, many, many, not all of them non-sentient appearing stationary creatures,

holding your weapon to them to see if one of them flinches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You detect no presence of a flinches. Pip, you detect no presence of a carrier nap. Not in the kitchen, at least. I assume the living room is next? I don't know if it's safe still.

I'm going to check every room in the house. Piran, do you want to go with... No! No, I do not, Piran says. We just need to look out for any sort of sigil or something like that. What if, and I'm just spitballing here with ideas, what if we were to burn this place down?

What do we lose if we do that? I don't know. That's the thing. We do not know if we will lose anything. Pip, is there anything here of use to you? I'm just so focused on the dolls. Give me a second.

I'd like to check the next room that I can. The living room, you step in. There's another big archway and you can see this is presumably where the door in the kitchen leads to. There's a hallway with a set of stairs and you can see this is presumably where the door in the kitchen leads to. There's a hallway with a set of stairs and you can see some other doors on the ground floor.

I'll come with Pip, but while he's staring at all the dolls, I'm looking for any sort of sigils. As the two of you move into the lounge room, you hear Tarpos from behind Piran shove Piran into the house and say

start looking or hit. Okay, okay, okay. Piran starts rummaging around. Pip, you cannot, you scan each of the dolls one by one with your crossbow. None of them

flinch. Okay. That's a good. I've had some bad experiences with living dolls, dude. There's another, in addition to the singular couch for one person, there's another in this room, another big wide couch for several people to sit on. But it's so chockers with dolls that it would be impossible for you to sit down at this point. Okay. There is maybe a hundred dolls in total in this room. Okay.

We're fucked. What is that even? What does, why are there so many dolls? Are they, hang on. Do they all look the same or are they all different? They're all different. Okay, that's better. I don't know.

Do they all look handmade? Yeah, they all look handmade? yeah they all look handmade what I mean is are they all uniform or are they all little imperfections and hair's a weird thing it's probably hard to do any of them look like people from the town

of Kutcheri that we happen to have I mean we didn't spend a lot of time in Kutcheri so it's going to be hard to try and place that but do any of them havecheri that we happen to have. I mean, we didn't spend a lot of time in Kutcheri, so it's going to be hard to try and place that. But do any of them have like, wait, that looks like- That looks like that adventurer who had a heart attack while we were watching. That looks like my owner, or that looks like the wonderful person who gave us their food and shelter that I'm a bad person

because I forget their name. No, you don't see anyone who resembles anyone that you know from town, but all of them, or the majority of them, are dressed after a fashion to look like Barovians or Vistani. Some look a little bit more colorful, and it looks like the doll could be an adventurer or something like that. And another quick question. I don't know why I'm asking this. Do any of them look like arse?

I feel like you wouldn't need to roll if you spotted that. But as you're inspecting all of them, you can see each of them has a little name tag somewhere stuck on them with a name. It's not the same name. It's always a different name. If they look Barovian or V name okay it's not the same name it's always a different name if they look barovian or vistani it's an appropriate name yeah it's a barovian or vistani name and the ones that don't look like barovians or vistani have all sorts of different wild names typically appropriate to whatever if it's a dwarf they have like a dwarven name okay okay okay okay

okay uh i think i'll take one of the puppets off the wall. All right. You touch one of the puppets? Yeah, I guess. All right. You pick up the puppet, and as soon as you pick up the puppet, you hear screaming. You drop the puppet, presumably, because that's a terrifying thing to suddenly happen. And then the screaming stops.

I shoot the puppet, too. You did not hear the screaming. Hector good twang one of the puppets is shot but was screaming this is so fucking yeah you destroy that puppet its torso is torn apart by the force of the crossbow ball okay but it's not a carionette that that means. No, well, it doesn't bleed like a carionette does. What happened? I touched the puppet and it started screaming or I heard a screaming. Did nobody else hear that? Piran and Tarpos from the next room both shake their heads.

Shake my head. What kind of screaming? Just like a... What was it? Like a... It sounded like a deep, throaty male scream. Okay. From the... I don't know

Can I still Like that Okay No no no that's just the noise It sounded like a scream of pain Like maybe a man in pain I don't think it came from the puppet It's not a carrionette

I pick up the destroyed corpse of the puppet And shake it around When you pick up the destroyed corpse You definitely don't hear anything, either of you. It's not screaming now. And you heard it from, did you hear it from the actual puppet or from around, or his head? It was pretty shocking and sudden.

So you think, taking a moment now, you think it didn't come from any direction. It might have been in your own head. I think it was a sort of mental, like in my own head. Can I just touch another puppet? You touch a puppet? Yeah. Don't pick it up.

Just touch it with my finger. As soon as you touch one of the puppets, highs or lows? Highs. Highs. All right. You recoil in fear as you, it's not so much screaming.

It's more someone saying the same line over and over again. Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out. The sound almost kind of blows into just noise rather than a sentence. You got about as much as Zamet got just then. Okay. Do you hear the scream? No, I heard a voice.

It said, let me out, let me out, let me out. Are there guys in these puppets? Can they trap people? Well, that's for the carrionette. Do you mean a hag? Yes. I mean, anything's possible. Let me check Emmanuel.

I don't know. Maybe it's something to do with the deal Ludmilla made. Maybe. Let's, I guess, keep going through the house, looking anything for that sigil or anything kind of like for note, anything kind of out of the ordinary, those kind of things. And maybe like try not to perhaps shoot the dolls. Yeah, I was just very –

I understand. I've had bad experiences with puppets, Hector. It's very funny that the two times just hasn't been a carry-on ad. Yeah, oh, oh yeah that other one wasn't a carrionette oh well i guess it was a carrionette but it wasn't exactly the situation you were thinking it was you are right though it was a carrionette yes yes i was maybe it's more accurate to say i was dealing with a carrionette all right you move it to the hallway the hallway also has this one obviously because there's just not as much space to plop down a puppet.

There just aren't as many, or dolls. I shouldn't say they're puppets. Sorry, they're dolls. There's just not as much space to plop down, fill this area. But there are still some here, like a few sitting at the foot of the stairs, a few on the stairs itself, some round behind the stairs. You can see when you step into the hallway, there are three doors. One that quite obviously would lead to the kitchen, and then two other doors on the opposite wall.

Okay. One on either side of the stairs. So if the stairs go up on your left, then there's a door just past that and a door on the right underneath the stairs, or leading underneath the stairs, if that makes sense. Okay. Well, pairing to check all the doors for traps. the right underneath the stairs or leading underneath the stairs, if that makes sense. Okay, well, Pyrrhon, check all the doors for traps.

You hear thump and then Pyrrhon stumbles into the hallway. Right, right, yes. Check the doors for traps. My favorite activity. Yes, yes. Pyrrhon checks both doors

and you see, while he's checking the second one, you see he glances back at the exit, back into the living room, and Tarpos is standing there with her arms crossed, and then he goes back to checking the door. There it is, on the left door. I would guess that that door leads into a... Part of his check is,

you might say he looks through the keyhole shit like that. That door appears to lead to a bedroom or not a bedroom, but a study, sorry, of some sort. And then this door here on the right leads to some crawl space underneath the stairs. I couldn't see much through the hole.

The left door has a trap placed upon it. Can you get rid of this trap? It is magical in nature, so I can try, but if I fail I won't know until someone opens the door. Okay, well, I guess, try? Piran

takes out his silver dagger, he works it into the gap in between the door and the wall, and you hear, as he jiggles it around a little bit, you hear a sound like breaking glass. And he says, alright, I'm pretty confident that worked. Now,

also because I'm not much of a spellcaster, I don't know the exact nature of this magical trap, if I haven't deactivated it, it could be something as simple as an alarm, it could be something as complex as a alarm. It could be something as complex as a death effect. Oh. I haven't

the foggiest what it could do. Meg's not. Pyrrhon also puts a finger on his nose. I make a sign to Pena and I open the door. Alright. Pyrrhon has deactivated the magic. You open the door into a study of sorts.

There's another big threadbare chair here, maybe a little bit nicer than the one in the living room, but it's also got some knitting stuff just kind of like scattered around it. You can see in one corner there's a big drafting desk type thing. You know what a drafting desk is? So the drafting desk is currently set in a position where it's standing up, but standing up for someone who is quite short and would

hunch over as they work. Kind of like a hag. Yeah, like a hag's desk. Around that drafting desk and throughout the rest of the room, there are lots of bits and pieces for constructing dolls. Interesting. You can see all the different arms and legs,

stuffing, wool and whatnot to make hair, and buttons for eyes, that sort of stuff. Is the drafting table similar to the drafting table where the whale was kept? Oh, it is. No, no, it's different. You can see there's no documentation here. There's no notes for any sort of-

No drawers or anything like that? No, it's just the surface itself. You can see on the drafting table, there is a little doll is currently like half made. All right. Can I- So there's nothing like no notes or anything on the- No, there's no papers here whatsoever. You've not encountered a book.

Yes. Well, this is where she made the dolls. There's one that is half made. No, there's no papers here whatsoever. You've not encountered a book. Yes, right. This is where she made the dolls. There's one that is half-made. Can I go and investigate that half-made doll? Yep. Nudge it with my crossbow. It doesn't move or anything like that.

Thank God. Both of you recognize that it looks like a Vistani. Okay. Or the clothing is similar in fashion to that of a Vistani. We still haven't found that Vistani, have we? No. That's concerning. You could see, Hector, for what this is worth,

you recognize that the coat that this little doll is wearing is identical to the coat that the wild-eyed Vistani that you met yesterday had. That's the coat of the Vistani from yesterday. Right. Are these all the people she's made a deal with or or maybe people she's trapped i don't i don't know these people that she has control over like if she does something to the doll that something happens to them can i think briefly about the one i kill. You touched the doll? You touched the doll? Nothing happens. Well, whatever this is, I guess it didn't quite work.

What was the one saying that you touched before? Let me out. Let me out. So somebody's either someone's trapped in the doll or it's trapped somewhere else but connected to the doll. Can I go and touch another doll, Adam? You pick up another doll? Yeah.

Highs or lows? Highs. You pick up another doll and you hear screaming, bellowing in your mind. Okay. Can I think back? You can. Quiet. You do that and the mental presence recoils from you.

It's like it's scared of you. Don't be afraid. I'm here to help, I guess. Let me out, please. Okay, to do that, I'm going to need to know where you are. Dark. Dark and empty. Weird question. Are you in the doll? Hi.

What? Fair enough. Dark and empty. A physical place? I don't know. Help me, please I don't know. Okay. Help me, please. Well, I'm trying. Last thing you remember. I was sitting.

I was with my family. Right. We were just back. We'd just gotten back. Back where? She'd taken me back in. No. In Barovia, the village. She wanted nothing to do with me.

She took the family. I made a deal. I made a deal with the hag. Okay. Maybe shake the dollar, too. I've been talking to him in my brain. This one made a deal. This one is saying they made a deal with the hag. What was the deal? What was the deal, I think deal i think i wanted them back oh i had them i had them

in my arms my face sort of crumples in on itself a little bit uh the deal was um to get the to get the kids back her their kids back um and and then how did you end up here from that deal? I was sitting at the table we were having dinner and then I was here right okay I relay this well we'll do our best and then I'll put the doll

back the deal is they lost their kids and then I assume they got their kids back, but then they were sitting at the dinner table with their family, disappeared in the doll. Kapow, in the doll. Is the deal something like, again, dealing with a hag?

The deal is you get a year or a day with the kids, and then... It could be something like that. More like a week. Yeah, you get some time with your children, and then you... Become the doll for... Become, or you just end up in service to the hag. The why the hag wants all these dolls, I

couldn't say. Reach out, grab another doll, do the same thing. Try and recoil from the screaming. Please come. I need a couple of questions. You hear another person give you a sob story of, this one's probably a little less sympathetic.

Not that the other one was entirely sympathetic. Yeah. She took the kids for a reason. He was probably not a great person. Yeah, yeah. But this second person also, yeah, maybe just wanted, made a deal with the hag for money. And for a time, everything was good. They coincidentally just on their way back from the meeting with the hag, they stumbled over a dead merchant whose purse had been filled with gold sovereigns.

And so for a week, they lived the high life. And then suddenly they were inside the doll. Interesting. Is it always a week? Yep. Okay. They get one week and then in the doll. Yep.

So yeah, maybe go through a couple of dolls, find information. Right, it is. You hear a lot of different stories of people desiring things. Some of them seem a little suspicious, like the person was suddenly, like, their heart's desire was within grasp. And they were like, oh, maybe I can make a deal with the hag. Some people, it looks like, were just straight up tricked. But yeah, everyone gets a week with

what they so desire and then trapped inside the doll. Does that sound like anything? No, that sounds like a hag. Yeah, that's a hag with tea. I don't know how to get them out of the doll, though. Yeah, right. Well, let us.

Is there anything else in this bedroom before we go to the crawl space? The best sentence in the world. Oh, yeah. No, there's nothing else worth noting. Right. Well, let's go to this crawl space before we go upstairs. All right. I will see you when you get back.

Are they still upstairs, Pyrrhon? I'll consider going upstairs. He just slowly glides up to Tarpos. Tarpos also seems a little hesitant to go up the stairs. She says, stay together. Together strong. Right. Where are Gorob Lushen?

They've not walked inside. Yeah. Great question. Outside? I go check, she says. Lushen might be useful with his knowledge of magic. Tapos leaves to go collect Gorob and Lushen. Pyrrha stands awkwardly here.

I'll open the door to the crawl space. All right. It's a set of stairs going down into darkness. Not even your dark vision allows vision beyond. Right. Well, that is down into the south. Let us close that for one minute. I think that is

the last port of call. Kitchen first, and then upstairs, then this. I never really heard a proper reason why we shouldn't burn this place down. Well, there's a lot of people trapped in these. I adjusted to all the dolls. You ever remove someone from a doll?

No. In a way. I haven't, but I assume burning them is as good as killing them. Well, I'm sure a decent amount of them, maybe even more than 50%, would appreciate a release. He's not wrong. We could also get the dolls outside, I suppose, if we wanted.

Let's do that in a... Let's check the place first. At the end. Okay. Piran says... Piran checks the stairs. I don't think there's anything untoward on the stairs, he says.

He takes out a little mirror on the stairs, he says. He takes out a little mirror on the end of a ten-foot pole, and he uses it to check the top of the stairs without having to go up himself. He says, I can see two doorways. I can't tell anything beyond. Okay, was there anything in the kitchen, or we just walked past? We went through

the kitchen, didn't we? Yeah, you went through the kitchen, yeah. Alright, well, let's onwards and upwards. Piran gestures for you to go first. I go first. You reach the top floor landing. Sure enough, there are just two doors here and one of them would be slightly ajar. There's two doors. One is ajar.

Piran, if you could look at the ajar one first. Piran slides the mirror inside and he says, oh, marvellous. It's a children's bedroom. How lovely, he says. There's a few bunk beds. It looks like little girls live in this room.

Oh, is that a – they've got – he turns back to look at the two of you. Oh, they've got little pictures that they've drawn on the walls of them and Grandmama. Right. It's fantastic. It's fucking terrifying yes of course are there no little girls actually currently there oh I would mention if I saw someone

just thought you might be bearing the lead alright and can you I guess eject the other one I honestly I'm guessing this is grandmama's bedroom and while I saw no magical or mundane traps I I wouldn't trust that. Fair enough.

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Let's open up the child's bedroom. You see, there's enough space here for about 10 children to sleep. It's mostly bunk beds, so five double bunk beds. You can see everything here looks like it would cater to ten little girls, with the exception of in the beds themselves, while they look immaculate and pristine otherwise, you can see that there is like a black sooty divot in the center

where you would imagine a dust cag would crawl itself up into a ball and sleep overnight. There are pictures stuck up on the walls, many drawings of many different things. A lot of them are us and grandmama, and it's an old woman holding the hands of ten very tall, very awful-looking little girls. Okay, so this is where the Dusk's hag slept. Yes. Dusk's hag is like, hey, we turn a child or a person into a hag, and that's how it works. Yeah, Dusk's hags in general are the product of corruption.

You can see there are many more dolls in this room as well. The dolls in this room are all kind of posed in medias res, shall we say. It's a bunch of them sitting around a little table having a tea party. There's some in a little dollhouse. There's a few staging a mock execution. If I touched one of them, is it any different than the previous? It's the exact same. It's more people trapped in dolls.

Can I just give the room like a whatsoever search? Sure. Pip, you place the point of your crossbow bolt in every single doll's face. None of them flinch. Okay. You turn back to look at Piran, and you feel a little prick on your head. Oh, no, Adam, no!

No! You son of a bitch, it's happening again! To be continued... were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members. The further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.