D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #29 Little Guys Comma Puppets

Episode Date: November 18, 2023

It’s a confusing time for everyone involved as carrionettes descend on the party. Pip finds himself experiencing the one thing he didn’t want to happen while Hecktor is consumed by whatever is in the basement.Keep up to date with the Jarren's Outpost Board Game by heading to jarrensoutpost.com or checking out all the links here!Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out Imagination Adventures+ on our website or on Apple Podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Though you see no water for miles around you, you are like me. You're listening to the other than possibly by dying.

Maybe by being eaten by a wolf, let's say. Pip, you feel a little prick just above your thumb. And then you need to make a constitution, sorry, a charisma saving throw. Oh, no. Did he pass with flying colors? Pip looks at you I can re-roll a saving throw, I failed Alright

I spend it, baby Oh, that's a critical fail Okay, fuck Hector, Piyp looks at you And says everything's okay Everything's okay There's no problems in the room Alright

God fucking dammit What have you done to me Adam Alright anything else in the room Of note You've given it a once over Yeah yeah yeah I don't You've given it a once over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, everything's fine. I don't need to give it a once over as well.

Okay. To Grandma Mar's room. I head over to the door. You're going to open it? Piran produces from fucking nowhere a foldable, a collapsible sheet of lead. produces from fucking nowhere a foldable, a collapsible sheet of lead. He holds that up in between him and the door and waits for you to open it. Just, once again, sign to Pena, whatever that may or may not be,

and I open the door. As you open the door, you hear, That's from Pyrrhon, right? No, no, it comes from the door itself. Like, the door you hear that that's from pyrrhon right no no it's it comes from the door itself like the door size the door the room in here is in full darkness the shutters and blinds are closed over everything you see a big queen probably king actually sized bed with the the like a full poster bed with the uh what do you call them the The sheets that go on a four-poster bed. Oh, the, uh. Yeah.

The veils. It's like the shutter. Yeah, like a veil. Draw. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, there's stuff so you can't see what's on the bed. Whatever. There's the curtain that goes around a four-poster bed.

Okay. There's a vanity. There's a few wardrobes. There's a chest of drawers at the foot of the bed, and a mountain of dolls in this room. Good to hear. I look at the door. Did you just sigh? No, says Perrin, folding the lead sheet back up.

Do you feel okay? Yeah, I thought I heard the door make a sound. Look at me. Yes? He holds up a finger. Follow the finger. Following the finger, yes. He moves it from left to right. Uh-huh. Alright, you seem fine to me.

Did you not hear the door make a sound? No. Pip, you say everything's probably fine. Everything's probably fine. I'll grab my spear. Yeah. And when I'm in reach of the curtain surrounding the bed, move them. You see on the other side there is a big pile of dolls that cover one half of the bed,

so there's only just enough room for one person to sleep. Okay. Pip, did you want to adjust to the dolls? Pip, you check. I do. You say nothing. You say everything's fine. Everything's fine.

No roll required. Is it strange as Kip, does he just keeps saying everything is fine, like that phrase? Um, I mean, Pip does seem a little bit calmer, yeah. Okay. I don't know if you think that's strange, but yeah, Pip does seem calm. He's usually so paranoid. He is, yeah. Yeah, so everything is all right?

Pip, you attempt to cover your tracks, realizing you're not doing it right. Yes. No, I mean, I've checked the room. Everything seems fine to me. Pip just seems, I mean, obviously, Zamit, if you think there's reason for Hector to get really suspicious, that's allowed. But Pip has given you no reason to be suspicious. Okay. Yeah, he's just gone from being very paranoid to being not very paranoid.

A bit confident. Yeah. He seems maybe more confident. That seems more like Pip. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Where's Pop? The chicken.

Yeah. Probably would be, I don't know. I've stopped paying attention to him. Didn't you leave him? Yes, we did. We left him with Tarpos in the hut. We left him in the hut, but I don't think we picked him up. And then we grabbed Tarpos, so I assume Tarpos brought the chicken with us.

Unless you would have just kept it alone in the hut. I assume. Oh, yeah, no, I probably would have brought it with us. Probably with Tarpos. All right, no worries. I'll remember that for when Tarpos reunites with you. You hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Tarpos calls out.

No, you go up and lush and you hear them before you see them. They'reos calls out, no, Gorob and Lushen, you hear them before you see them. They're causing a racket, some argument. Tarpos gets to the top of the stairs, stands in the doorway and says, I wish we not get them.

It's nice to be so blunt about it, you know. They might know something about the doors. All of you freeze as from Tarpos, who's been carrying Pop this entire time. Pop has climbed their way onto Tarpos's shoulder and is staring directly at you, Pip. Pip, you think you've been made. Pop, you look into the eyes of the cockatrice, and the cockatrice looks into your eyes, and you see

it see past your eyes into what's going on. Pip, you wake up in the other room. You're a doll. Am I on a shelf? Yeah, you're on a shelf. I'd like to tumble myself off the shelf onto the floor. Alright, you hear heavy footfalls coming up the stairs and you can hear Gorob and Lushen arguing. Do I have a voice as a puppet? Yes. Is it like small and teeny?

It's a teeny tiny voice, yeah. Motherfucker! God damn it! Not again! Can I cross the floor with the silver pin? Sure. Just careening into the room. It's because you've got much shorter legs. I'm so slow.

Because you've got much shorter legs, you move at a slower pace. So by the time you get into the hallway, you can see Tarpos standing in the doorway to the other room. And Gorub and Lushen's heads swivel around at the top of the staircase to see you. Pip, you are about to spring into action and attack this fucking cockatrice when you hear from outside the door, IT'S ONE OF THEM! Let's go to initiative.

This is exactly what the puppet wants. Am I a pip puppet? Am I a pipette? No, you're a little ballerina. Alright, fuck. Am I a pip puppet? Am I a pipette? No, you're a little ballerina. A little ballerina. All right, awesome. I guess that makes it so much more difficult to argue my case. It really does.

You look terrifying if you move. Oh, no. Oh, God. Yeah, this sucks. This is so bad. Garba and Lushen are just going to destroy it. This is fucking karma is what's happening right now. Puppet gets to plead its case first, which is great.

Oh, no. Good news. Gorob and Lushen are going lost. Oh, thank God. I was just going to get vaporized. Bad news. They are absolutely going to swing before they think. Yeah. All right.

It's the puppet's turn first. The puppet's turn first. The puppet, I guess. Pip, you say, we've got to kill that fucking puppet. We've got to kill that fucking puppet. That sounds like Pip. Inadvertently, it sounds a lot like Pip. Pip killed the last puppet. No, actually, sorry.

Because the carry-onette, if it kills you, it dies. Pip, you say, we've got to capture that fucking puppet. We've got to capture that fucking puppet. You barrel past Tarpos, who isn't going to stop you. And... Am I close to... Is it close to me? Is what close to you?

Pip. Yes. I grab him. I react to grab him. All right. From kill to me? Is what close to you? Pip. Yes. I grab him. I react to grab him. All right. From kill to capture, that's not the Pip I know. I did explode a doll literally minutes before this. The last marionette we saw who was pleading for their life just got plugged.

So capture is not part of Pip. Sure. Pip, you get grabbed. You look straight into the dumb Azimar's eyes. The guy's name you don't actually know. It would be very confusing with the cockatrice came up

and looking at me. My chicken? You look into the dumb Azimar's eyes and you realize the idiot's not falling for it anymore. So Pip, you don't have any of Pip's brains, but you have all of Pip's

physical abilities. Okay. God damn it. I am going to innovating breath. Oh my god! Tapos and Hector, both of you need to make con saving throws. You fail unless you got something for a re-roll on a saving throw. It's a straight up a one.

Tarpos is going to succeed. Is it a con? I believe it's a con. We do have a re-roll con, so you should read strength. Check with advantage. Strength or con? Con, sorry. I cash in this. Sturdy is a dwarf card. You both pass. Okay, what advantage. Strength or con? Con, sorry. I cash in this.

Sturdy is a dwarf card. You both pass. Okay. What does an invading breath do? An invading breath? Just incapacitate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good.

It would have fallen down. Glad I passed. Yes. All right. Well, that's one action. Okay, then. Do it again. I'll do it again.

Yeah, absolutely. Oh, no. Mark it off. You've lost it. Stop it. Stop using my breath tapas is gonna fuck up this one unless you've got something to help tapas maybe this could be helpful maybe no i don't i don't think we she's we got nothing no we got nothing for her. No, you got nothing for her. Okay. Yep. Yep. All right, that it?

Yep. Okay. Well, you made two attacks? Two attacks, yep. All right. Well, Tarpos collapses backwards, and you see the big dumb Goliath creature has collapsed. You're not currently being grappled,

and you used your reaction, unfortunately, to attempt a grapple, so you're free to leave. Oh, is there a window nearby? Yes. I jump out of it. I'm going to flee into the woods, Adam. Oh my God, you missed the window.

Unless you have something for an athletics check. No, I don't think we do. All right. Just careen into the glass, but it doesn't smash. Just like so used to like little tiny ballerina legs. Exactly. I just don't quite have my physical fucking situation under lock and key. All right, I'm going to use legendary action.

A creature of your choice may take one action. You're going to take that action, and you're going to try again. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Adam. You're so kind. You succeed. Okay. All right, you get out. You're going gonna take a d4 damage from the glass and 2d6 damage oh plus you took sorry one point of damage when the carrionette stuck you yeah of course so that is eight nine you are 10

less you're on three hit points oh my god god. And I guess you're just going to escape? Yep. Head to Kuchery. You've heard it's good this time of year. Okay. Entering my puppet era, god damn it. Okay. It's Tapos' turn. Tapos slowly gets to her feet. And Pip, it's your turn.

I'm Pip, I'm Pip, I'm not a... That's not me! All right. Gorob and Lushen look at each other, then's your turn. I'm Pip, I'm Pip, that's not me. Alright, Gorob and Lushen look at each other, then look at you. Hector, it's your turn. I'll go with my little Mario. You can hear the little squeaky voice outside. Can I go to the window and see Pip? You see Pip's body slowly getting to their feet one of their legs is stuck

out at a weird angle you can see the shards of glass all through pip's face that fucking puppet stole my body i'm so i'm so sorry pounds above fuck yes what would you like to do hector knowing that i definitely will not allow you to non-lethally fire a crossbow bolt or throw magic. Oh, I know. I'm like, do I cast Sacred Flame? Or do I just use a command word and tell you to stop? But that burns through spells. It's also only going to last like a round.

And what's the fall? The fall is to be 20 feet if you fell. That's 2D6. Can I try and jump through the window onto Pip? You can try. To try and cushion my fall? You can certainly try. Oh my God.

As I'm about to run, I'm like, grab that puppet. That's Pip. And I run and slam through that window. Both of you take three points of damage. Just as you were about to taste sweet, sweet freedom, Pip, you fall unconscious. All right. Sorry, what did you say, Hector, before you jumped? I just pointed to the puppet.

You can't see the puppet. Okay, then I'd be like, Pip is a puppet, and I would jump out the window. I'm about to be exploded by a wizard. I did see Tarpos get got by you. Yeah, that's true. But like dragging you. No, they didn't see that as the thing because they just saw gas explode in the room. Yeah, because you're in the...

Yeah, fuck. They're just not clever. They're just not clever. They're so funny for a wizard. Oh no. Oh no. Stick them. Stick them with the thing.

If I stuck them with the thing, then I'd be in their body? Yeah. Or you'd be in one of their bodies. I don't want that. Would you swap with both of them or one of them? I'd rather die. I don't want to take that risk.

I don't want that risk. No, thank you. All right. One hit point, buddy. Gorob reaches through the banister, explosively trying to grab at you, Pip. Oh, fuck. His hand explodes through the banister and wraps around you.

He drags you in close. What are you? I'm Pip. I'm Pip. The fucking puppet stabbed me. What? Gorob looks to Lushen. Lushen slaps him in the face.

I don't know why I tried to slap myself. Lushen slaps him in the face and says, You know why I tried to slap myself. Lushen slaps him in the face and says, You idiot! That's our good friend Pip! Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. Gorub shakes his head. Pip!

Pip is a dragonborn, you imbecile! Imbecile! You're the idiot! Lushen casts magic missile into Gorub's face. Maybe I can get out in the confusion. Fucking hell. God damn it. Gorub takes five, eight, eleven points of damage.

You idiots. You idiots. Stop it. Stop fighting each other. Gorub lets go of you, and Gorub and Lushen fall down the stairs unconscious. Okay. Oh, my God. What?

I guess I tumble onto the floor. It's the puppet's turn. Oh, no. One failed saving throw. It's making death saving throws on my account. It's Tarpos' turn. Tarpos gets to her feet. Looks in both directions.

You, Pip? Yes, yes, yes, I'm Pip. All right, come. She puts out her hand. I clamber onto her hand, holding the little silver needle in mine. As she heads downstairs. What's Piran doing? Oh, I forgot.

Oh, that's right. I was like, I've rolled too many people. That extra person's Piran doing? Oh, I forgot. Oh, that's right. I was like, I've rolled too many people. That extra person was Piran. Well, I guess Piran didn't know exactly what to do. He was standing out in the hallway. Piran. Yeah, maybe Piran, when you burst in, Piran put the sheet back up and slammed his back up against the wall, just staring at you.

But when Tarpos comes in and picks you up, Piran's like, oh, okay, that's Pip. It's funny that Piran was like an elegant lady in a 1950s movie with a rat. It's just the right way to a chair or something. You, Tarpos, and Piran make your way downstairs. And as you do so, Tarpos... No, no, no. Okay, I thought there were going to be more puppets, dude. No, Tarpos casts Healing Word on Gaurav and Lushen.

They recover seven hit points. Okay, good. You make your way down to the bottom of the stairs. That's about as far as you get, though. That's Tarpos' turn. Pip, it's your turn. You're just being carried by Tarpos. Yeah, there's nothing I'm going to really do.

All right, Pip, get a good boy card. Nice. At the bottom of the staircase, there's a banister. Oh, sorry, on the staircase, there is a banister. And at the bottom of the banister, the last, right before you get off the stairs, there's a puppet lying, leaning with a big, awful-looking smile, leaning up against the little bell thing. You see as tarpos comes by, it pulls out a silver needle. Kill that puppet!

And then it is, that was your turn. Hector, it's your turn. We're all gonna become puppets! I... Would I stabilize you? I don't know. If you stabilize me, I won't come back, though, right? I'll just be unconscious.

Yeah. Right. I will reach in to Pip's satchel and start looking through Emmanuel the monster. You find Emmanuel the monster. Hand it over. See if you can find the little guys.

It's Gorob and Lushen's turn. You idiot! What have you done to us? It's the puppet's turn. Oh, no. Tarpos needs to make a charisma saving throw. Oh, no. I'm about to be carried by a puppet. Tarpos takes one point of damage.

Ow! And she looks over at the puppet. The puppet looks up at Tarpos with that big dumb smile and then hops off the banister and tries to run. Tarpos gets a free attack. Tarpos grabs the puppet with her other free hand, brings

it up and crushes it in her hand. Little bits and pieces fall to the ground. Oh, thank god. Is there blood? There's a little bit, yeah. There's a little bit of blood in every carrionette. Carrionettes are gross. That's how you make them. Then... Ow! Gorob and Lushen crawl out

in pain. No, no. They need to make a charisma-saving throw. They pass. Gorob and Lushen look over as another puppet sprints back up the stairs. Fuck! This place is becoming so dangerous. Gorob and Lush should grab that puppet and crush it as well.

All right. Hector, while you pull out a manual to monster, you hear something hit the grass behind you. It's Tarpos' turn. Tarpos and Pip, you move through the building, being very careful. Tarpos doesn't see it, but you see as maybe ten puppets. Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. We have to get out of here! Pyrrhon was right! Pyrrhon with us? Yeah, Pyrrhon's done now. I thought he was still upstairs. No, it's Pyrrhon's right Is Pyrrhon with us? Yeah Oh thank god I thought he was still upstairs No it's Pyrrhon's turn now

Okay I think at this point Pyrrhon's not Doesn't care anymore Pyrrhon Pyrrhon takes out From within his backpack He takes out a little flask

He opens it And pours it behind you as you walk. As soon as the liquid in the flask touches air, flames begin spreading. I'm so happy about this. Oh, no. You got to kill those fucking puppets, dude. Oh, we're going to kill some fucking puppets. You have to kill the little puppets.

This was a mistake. You're telling me. We should never have come in here. Then it is, Pip, your turn. You're still just being carried. Yeah, okay. You can, if you want, you can prepare yourself to, as a puppet, is going to try and launch itself at Tarpos to fight it off. Yeah, I will.

I'll have a little puppet fight on Tarpos. Okay, cool. Then it is, Hector. Your turn. I stop reading the book and I look where the little pfft was. There lying behind you is a little dragon-born puppet. He didn't tell me about puppets enough that I'm like, well, Pip? No, no, no. You didn't see.

That's very true. The puppet says, yes. No, no, no, no. That's a high-pitched voice. It could be Pip's voice. Yep. All right. What?

Standing up. Right. What do we need to do? Turn away. You don't want we need to do? Turn away. You don't want to see this. It's disgusting. I've seen worse. All right.

No, no, no. It's Corbin Lushen's turn. Lushen follows Pirin's advice. Okay. Okay. And Lushen is gonna cast Fireball. All of these people. All of these people trapped in all

of these puppets. Oh, it doesn't have Fireball. Scorching Ray. Oh no. Oh no. Three jets of fire extend from Lushen's hand and massive parts of the living room begin erupting in flames.

A bunch of puppets get up and start fleeing. This is like the thing where you're like, oh, I saw, you know, like maybe I saw a mouse in my house. That's a worry. But one mouse means there's fucking hundreds. All right. That was Gorub and Lushen's turn. It's Puppet's turn.

A puppet launches itself at Tarpos and Pip, you're there to defend. Hell yes. Hell yes. A puppet launches itself at Tarpos, and Pip, you're there to defend. Hell yes. Hell yes. The puppet lands and misses Tarpos. Then you don't know what's going to happen if you stick a puppet with... You've got the silver needle.

Yeah, I know. Do you want to try and use the silver needle? What do you want to do? I feel like if I stick the puppet, I'm going in that puppet and just swapping. Can I just kick the puppet off of Tarpos onto the ground? It's with disadvantage, though, because it's an improvised attack. Yeah, that's okay. You attempt to kick at the puppet, but the puppet doesn't dislodge.

Another puppet lands somewhere else on Tarpos. Oh, my God. That's a critical hit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Shot in the arm. Double damage.

And Tarpos has disadvantage on strength-based attacks for a D4 round. It's funny that double damage is two damage. Tarpos takes two points of damage and needs to make a charisma-saving throw. Fuck. The puppet lands on Tarpos and then falls off Tarpos and he hits the ground. Tarpos stops. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Tarpos stops. Oh, no. Oh, no. Pop, the cockatrice, leaps from Tarpos' backpack and starts pecking Tarpos in the back of the head. Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Tarpos, what looks like Tarpos, looks around to that puppet. Pop looks at you, Pip. Ah! Okay. Sticks out a wing. Yeah, yeah, I was going to do this anyway. I'd like to climb on top of Pop. You get on top of Pop.

Alright. Then the puppet outside says, Is he moving? Hector, you look over at Pip. No, he's not moving. You get stuck. You need to make a charisma saving throw. You pass.

You take a point of damage, and you look down at the little dragonborn puppet as it's driven its silver needle into your foot. Pip, what the fuck? I've lost control! That's a disadvantage. That's definitely a disadvantage. This is not Pong.

I'm sorry, this is not Pip. Yeah, wait a second. Pip would never give me the common courtesy to look away while he did something horrific. Get a good boy card. Step on him. All right, that was the puppets' turn. It's Tarpos' turn. Tarpos is unconscious.

Oh, and sorry, it's another failed saving throw. You're going to die. No! You'll be stuck as a puppet. I don't want to be a puppet. Oh, my God, that'd be so funny. Imagine reuniting with Puppet. You're a puppet oh my god that'd be so funny imagine reuniting with pop and you're a puppet i've undergone some changes oh my god that'd be so fucking funny i'm so scared your body of some

kind oh my god that's so fucking funny all right uh that and then a bunch of the other puppets are just trying to scatter now because the place is catching fire. Yeah. Then, yeah, Tarpos is unconscious. It's Beren's turn. Beren picks up at Tarpos' feet, picks up the puppet that stuck Tarpos, looks at you, Pip, on Pop, and says, you're on your own. And then he explodes out of the house. Okay. Okay, okay.

I know what I got to do, which is a shame, because I think it means I need to get off pop, but I know what I got to do. All right, Pip, it's your turn. I stick Tarpos. Yes! Tarpos takes a point of damage. And the little puppet needs to make a charisma saving throw.

The puppet fails. Okay. That puppet falls down and you're in tarpos. Okay. Can I grab the puppet now writing pop and crush it? The ballerina puppet I once was. Oh, right. Because that's got the puppet that became tarpos in it now, right?

Yes. So I reach behind, crush the ballerina as Tarpos, being like, wow, I'm strong! It's unconscious, so yeah, I'll allow you to just do it. You grab the puppet and crush it in one simple move. Okay. Alright. You're standing like a foot

taller than you used to be. You feel so strong. Yeah. Your muscles are bulging. Also, suddenly you don't feel cold. You feel hot,. Yeah. Your muscles are bulging. Also, suddenly you don't feel cold. You feel hot, if anything. Well, actually, there's fire going on, so yes, you'd feel like, wow, it's swelteringly hot.

Okay. I'd like to just run outside of the cottage now. Alright. You leave the cottage with Pop in tow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you walk out and you look as Hector looks over at Pip, at your body. Wait, hang on.

If I crushed the puppet... No, that's okay. That's okay. Because I'm in Tarpos. Where's Tarpos? Piran picked up the puppet that has Tarpos on it. That's right.

Okay, cool, cool, cool. I just wanted to double check that I didn't crush Tarpos. No, you didn't crush Tarpos. Okay, okay, okay. It's hard to keep track, yeah. So your body is currently unconscious out here. Yeah.

Piran has the puppet that Tar-Pos is currently in. Great, great, great. And you're in Tar-Pos' body. We can solve this when we get to my body. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Sure, yeah. Okay, yeah, I rush out the front of the cottage and around the back to where my body...

Well, yeah, well... You burst out and you immediately see Hector looking over at your corpse as a little dragonborn puppet drives its little needle into Hector's foot. Hector looks down at the puppet, the puppet looks up at Hector, and then Hector steps on the puppet. Okay, that seems good. All right.

Oh, Hector, it's your turn. Your action, I'm going to say, is to step on the puppet. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah, that was what I would have done. I guess I would, I want to, yeah, like look over at Tarpos, who is now holding the pop the chicken.

Yeah, you see Tarpos has stepped out with pop the chicken and a puppet in their hand. You can make of that what you will. I gestured to the stepped on dragonborn puppet and i'm it wasn't pip i know yes well i mean a puppet would say that but in tarposs's body yeah but a puppet would say the house is full of puppets well i got i got Tapos' voice, but Pip's cadence, I guess. The house is full of puppets. Behind Tapos, you see as puppet after puppet is making their way, sprinting out like rats from a sinking ship. Soon the woods will be full of puppets.

Bones above! That sounds like Pip. Gordav and Lushen's turn They exit the house And cast Burning Hands for good measure The fire is killing a lot of puppets That's great to hear Burning puppets are falling from the second story They're all puppets

Every last one of them We were so close Not all of them A lot I'm saying, Adam, for my own justification, two is a lot, to be fair. They were all puppets. We were so close.

They lied. They said they were trapped. It's the puppets' turn. A bunch of them just run into the darkness. That's not good. And then... Alright. Stop.

If you die... If damage would reduce you... Oh yeah, thank God! Oh my God! If you are unconscious and need to roll death-saving throws, you may gain the benefit of a short... We got a couple! It's not over yet! If you die in the last minute, return to. We got a couple. It's not over yet. If you die in the last minute,

return to life with one hit point. Let's use it. On the puppet right now? Yeah. Okay. By some miracle of the gods, Pip, your corpse, your body, sorry, is on one hit point.

Okay. That means we're not out of initiative yet. Oh, fuck, dude. It's Tarpos's turn Tarpos is still unconscious it's Piran's turn Piran looks at Pip who is currently

Pip's body which is currently on one hit point and Piran looks at you Hector and says puppet right I think so Piran drops

the puppet that he was carrying steps over to Pip and stomps in Pip's face. That would be with advantage. Actually, might still miss with advantage.

Piran tries to bring his foot down on Pip's nose, but Pip rolls out of the way. Pip, it's your turn. I rush over in Tarpos's body. Do you want any of Tarpos's stats? Where's the silver pin?

Which one? The one that... Do I need a specific silver pin? You... To swap bodies? No. Okay, great. Then with the silver pin from the puppet I'm holding,

I rush over to my body and slam it into my face. I gotta swap back. Then we got Tarpos to deal with. Because then Tarpos is going to be... They're unconscious. You're dumb. Okay, maybe I don't do that. Okay.

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This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Friday. If I do that, then Tarpos will be me, the puppet. You'll be on zero hit points again. Yep. Okay. And then Tarpos will be in you.

But the person who's not willingly getting swapped has so far fallen unconscious. But they've also, so far, you've only observed them going into the puppet. So you're not sure if you need to be the one being forcibly swapped and going into a puppet to be unconscious, or if just the forcibly swapping thing. Who's in the puppet I'm holding? No, you crushed a puppet. Yeah, I don't think, you said I was holding a puppet before. I don't think I'm holding a puppet. Pyrrhon's holding a puppet. Oh, Pyrrhon is holding a puppet, correct.

And the puppet Pyrrhon is holding is where Tarpos is. Yes. Okay. Okay. Then swap Tarpos into Pyrrhon. No, no, no. Swap. Sorry, Tarpos into Pyrrhon.

Yeah, that's what I... Okay, so I'm just going to tell Pyrrhon to make Tarpos stab Pip with the silver pin. Pyrrhon's eyes go wide and he says, If I do it, do I swap or does the puppet swap if the puppet's also holding it? As long as the puppet's holding the pin, the puppet'll do it. But I'll be the one making the attack.

Are you sure? Piran says. What do I know with my experience, Adam? Because, you know, Pip's experienced puppets before. Clearly, sure. With my experience of puppets, do I know if that'll work? You... Oh, fair point.

You've had experience with puppets. All right. You know that being forcibly swapped renders you unconscious for a little while, regardless of what body you go into. Okay. And you also know that if Purin is in any way in contact with the pin, even if it's only slightly, like a nanometer of flesh is in contact with the pin. He'll become a puppet.

Yeah, the pin will consider him the one making the attack. Okay, so it's better for me actually to attack Pip because then Talpos will fall unconscious for a little bit and we can sort things out. All right, then I go with my initial plan and run over. Get the pin off. Get the pin off the puppet of Piran and stab it into Pip's face with Tarpos' hands.

All right. What's your armor class? 15. 15. All right. You deal four points of damage, slamming the little pin into your own face. Hi, I'm back.

It doesn't work. Oh, no, no, no, no. They made the saving throw. I get two attacks. Try again. Does Tarpos get two attacks? Oh, good question. Tarpos only gets one attack.

Fuck, never mind. It's all unconscious. You're so strong, but you move so slowly. Yeah, okay. But Pip is now unconscious, correct Wow, one saving throws I don't think there's any way you could have done this And not panicked, destroyed your own face

You ruined your own face Fuck Alright, that was Pip Hector, it's your turn Looking at Tarpos slash Pip Did it work? I'm Pip Look at the unconscious now body of you

How about Knock them all out You're insane How about Just knock them all out I think Pip is once more bleeding out Alright That could be a tomorrow problem

Knock that one out. I'm Pip! Can you just... Pip Tapos, puppet, sit down. Just sit down for one second. I sit down. Alright, I'll sit down. I'll sit down in the snow. I'll try to stabilize the body.

Okay. Unfortunately, you fail to stabilize. Not good at this one You aren't, yeah, you don't have medicine Uh oh Hang on Let me just hang on

I'll try again What if I did this instead It's Gorub and Lashun's turn Oh no They, oh man They're not built for this They're just not built to be able to Oh, no. They... Oh, man. They're not built for this. They're just not built to be able to pay attention to who's who anymore.

Just start attacking puppets. Yeah, just wreck puppets. That's all they need to do. All right, yeah, sure. They... Lushen casts another Scorching Ray and smites, like, three puppets. Okay. They're running out of spells quick. All right.

Then it is Puppets' turn. That puppet hasn't been stabilized. That's a successful saving throw. Okay. It's Tarpos' turn. The puppet that Pyrrhon is holding gets up. Pyrrhon drops the puppet. Crack.

That's not good! Oh, no. That's not good. Oh, no. Is it destroyed? The puppet's arm breaks off, and then it gets up, looks up at Piran, and says, why? Okay, okay. Why?

And Tarpos, the puppet that is Tarpos, slowly staggers to its feet. What is happening? You are a puppet now. I am in your body. I am Pip. If you stab me with pin, I can stab my body with pin, and then we should all be back in, you know, to regular. Piran stabilizes Pip.

All right, we're no longer in initiative. Okay. Initiative might start up again, but right now we're not. Okay. So your body, okay. Okay, you're unconscious. Everybody's dead.

If you are... I am Pip in Tarpos' body. All right. In Tarpos' body. Tarpos is in the puppet. The puppet is in me. I point to my unconscious body. In Tarpos' body. Tarpos is in the puppet. The puppet is in me. I point to the my unconscious body. Alright, so Tarpos will stab you and then

you as the puppet will stab. Yes, and then everybody should be back and then we crush the puppet and get the fuck out of here. Okay, well, Tarpos, stab Pierre. Why, wait, Pierre says, why not you stab your body because then the puppet goes into Tarpos but is unconscious?

Is that what happens? Yes. Yes. That's smarter. I go over and stab my body with the pin. Again, I'm going to crush my nose further. You deal another point. You immediately go back into saving throws.

God damn it. I'll allow, you know what, they're unconscious. You've got time. I've got time to just gently do it. Just very gently stab. You don't take a point of damage. You're still unconscious because you're on zero hit points. The moment Tarpos falls unconscious is I'll be like

I guess this worked and then I will cast a cure wound on Pip's body. So we don't have to go to's body. Okay. So we don't have to go to saving. Level 1? Yeah. And it's a good healing. Yeah, yeah, okay. Pip, you wake up. It feels like coming out

of an awful dream. Your body is wracked with aches and pains, but you feel an energy, a pleasant energy flooding into you like you just took a swig of whiskey or something. I grab my face. By those.

You're on 13 hit points. Tapos. Step. The one-armed puppet stabs Tapos, falls over, and then Tapos gets to their feet. Tapos steps on the puppet. I go over to a tree and throw up. Tapos joins you, to be honest. Any fleeing marionettes will just start firing off.

So I guess the cottage is full on in flames at this point. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I slide down against the tree, maybe a different tree than the one I threw up on, and just like, just see it. I'm like rubbing my nose, like my snout. Maybe I do the same, but I'm like, ah, because it's so damaged. Everyone has a little snout rub, yeah. So they would make a deal in a week.

We would go back to B and they would turn into a marionette. Yeah. What a curse. Yeah. She fucking puppets me. Just put my hand on your shoulder. You okay? Year two, I spent three months as a puppet.

Do you know that? Three months. Three whole fucking months, Hector. My body made it halfway across Barovia. I slumped down next to you. I'm like, I hate this place. So is the pin magical or what? The puppets, the whole thing's a magic.

We should wreck the pins. If I was to grab the pin and stab somebody, I'd become dead? Separated from the carrionette, the pins lose magic over time. Okay. All right. But I still maybe I get up from the tree and I'm going to go find every pin and like throw it into the fire. Just for safety Pyrrhon stands in the middle of the clearing

with as much sight line in all directions as possible and just waits for everyone else to be done there's puppets in the woods could we have gotten you see he's cleared a bit of snow away so that nothing can even hide in snow could we have gotten a

you could make strata puppet if you want to get that close in snow. Could we have gotten a just have Strahd with a puppet. You could make Strahd a puppet if you want to get that close. I just You could run

powerful puppets. I like skin You could certainly try. But I guess there's no point investigating the basement

I mean maybe the basement might be fine after the burn you're not sure we've got puppets in the woods I gesture I don't know what happened to Kutri Piran from a distance away because he's got that

sight line and all direction thing going on Piran from some distance away Because he's got that sightline And all direction thing going on Peering from some distance away calls out Can we leave please In a minute The woods are not safer I say That's where the puppets went Oh would you like them time to afford a plan

No Time to scurry up a little tree and drop down on us. Oh my god. Or how about would you like to spend the night here? Oh my god. Does that seem better? Hand back Emmanuel to Pip. Cheers.

Gorub and Loshan have taken out a wineskin and are drinking heavily from it. They pass it to Tarpos. The three of them are wordless right now. They pass it to Tarpos. The three of them are wordless right now. They pass it to Tarpos, who also takes a drink from it. I gesture with my hand. Tarpos passes it to the rest of you. It's not a very fancy wine,

but it's alcohol. It doesn't need to be right now, Adam. Maybe I even take it and I pour in a little bit of what's that fucked alcohol I got? Some elemental spirit. just a drop. You get it. A little bit of elemental spirit,

the alcohol content skyrockets. Passing that back. Good addendum. It's got a kick to it. Like adding antifreeze. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So I guess, how burning is that inferno? Yeah. At this point, it's full on, the entire cottage is in flames. There's nothing to be recovered. It's nice. It's warm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's very warm.

Yeah. The flames will keep away most of the creatures of the woods, too. I think camping here is not a bad idea, to be honest. Is it worth... Pip, I'm so sorry. Is it about just the house? Cottage? We couldn't have known. Is it worth...

Is it worth even looking at whatever was down in that basement? In my experience, Hector, basements are the kind of place where the darkest things dwell, which unfortunately means, yes, probably we should go in the basement. But it's also probably worth resting after that and doing it in daylight would be my suggestion. None of you have tents, unfortunately. And while it's not currently snowing, you wouldn't put it past it to start snowing.

So you can try to brave the forest and collect wood for a lean-to. Could I try and make a snow shelter or something? Oh, true. Yeah, you could try making a snow shelter, yes. I've got good survival. Well... I whiff it? Yeah, you whiffed it.

I get a bad boy card. A snow, I guess, went piran I get a bad boy card the snow I guess when Piran the funniest bad boy card for Barovia but it's super cute I guess Piran like moved too much snow

away to make it really feasible yeah Piran was not Piran realised that he could melt the snow in front of the flames

and so he spent a solid 15 minutes shoveling snow into the flames. Fair. Okay. What time is it? It'd be... Good question.

You got lost on your way here, so I'm going to say it's like 3pm at this point. Okay, I thought it was darker. Alright, well... Is there any way to put out that fire quickly? You've got a lot of snow. Just keep shoveling what Piran was doing before, but just do it to a more intense degree.

Look, you rest. You and Tarpos. Yeah, whoever's the most absolutely... Goroblush and are pretty fucked up. Yeah. Tarpos is pretty fucked up yeah tarpos is pretty fucked up pyrrhon is largely untouched oh never mind pyrrhon's pretty fucked up don't know when that happened but they're on 34 out of 57 um pip is pretty fucked up hector you're pretty fucked up

right um cool well look, everybody just – Oh, no. Short rest isn't overnight. I know. Not yet. It does nothing for us. It does nothing. I guess let us shovel – I'll start shoveling snow.

I'll just start shoveling snow to try and get some wood for perhaps a lean-to and, yeah, try and find where that doorway to the basement was. Okay. Or the entrance to the basement was. Well, if you start shoveling, Tarpos gets up and helps. And if Tarpos gets up and helps, Gordon and Lushen get up and help. Perfect. And that's it.

Yeah. That's fair enough. I fully expected y'all to chill. Tarpos is handling having been a puppet very well as it appeared. Is there different ways of handling it? It took

me about a week to get back to normal, but I was a puppet for much longer, I say. It's very hard to realize you're no longer three inches tall. I forget the terminology. It's been a while. I fucking hate this place. Piran, you are preaching to the choir.

Maybe hand it. Maybe we've got the wineskin. Hand it over to him. Piran takes out a box of cigarettes, lights up, and then passes you one. I'll smoke a cigarette, sure. The two of you share wineskins and cigarettes while the rest shovel snow. You shovel snow until you... Well, you basically...

The building is destroyed. It might provide tonight with shelter from the snow, but it's the building, it's no longer a cottage. It's more. Like a shell. Yeah, a shell of its former self. But you managed to put out the fire. Okay, cool.

In its entirety, if you want. Oh, cool. Yeah. Well, we're really like trying to, I guess, find the basement, because even though it's in my head, it's like, well, the basement is, yes, where the terrible things are probably going to happen. And also, if not, we deal with it. At least it's like shelter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. Yeah, so do we, yeah, we would uncover that. Yeah, you can uncover the, I'd say then if you really want access to the basement now, you're definitely going to have to put out the entire house because it would be dangerous to access the basement while part of the house is still on fire. We'll put out the whole thing. The basement looks largely, well, you look down into that darkness that seems to resist your dark vision. And it looks untouched, but you don't see very far.

So who knows? If I lit a torch or had a burning piece of wood and threw it a little bit down the stairs, does it also get engulfed in that darkness? It's swallowed by the darkness, yeah. Magical darkness, I assume. Lushen? That sucks.

Got a bit Lushen wander over. Yes! What need you have I, a wizard supreme? The darkness over there. I cannot look through it. Of course one could not look through it. It is magical darkness, peaceable only by a wizard supreme.

Oh, a wizard supreme can look through it. Well, I think you'll find the first barbarian may also see through it. How may such an imbecile see through magical darkness? Magic has no effect on a first barbarian. Oh, my God. Oh, a bit lightheaded from that. I wasn't asking if it was. I knew it.

I was. Can you dispel it? Can you dispel it? Can I dispel it? If I cannot, then definitely an idiot first barbarian cannot. What? Yes, come on, Lushen, explain. What do you mean by that?

I should have said what. I should not. Well, I may know one method of ending a magical darkness, but I will need the proper ingredients. What do you need? I need... Come on. Come on, tell the man.

I'm looking, I'm looking. Lushen starts flipping through his spell book. Once again. Snout, Robin. Well, it really takes it out of you, you know. Being Garb and Lushen. Yeah, his spell book. Once again. Snout, Robin. Well, it really takes it out of you, you know? Being Garb and Lushen. Yeah, it seems exhausting. It is.

How damaged is my nose? Pretty fucked up. Oh, man. I don't think a dragonborn's face would allow for a broken nose, like in the human sense, where you've got that crook in it. Yeah, yeah. But you've got probably the Dragonborn equivalent. Just like a little like kind of hunch of my nose.

There's like a big bump in your nose where the bone has separated. Oh, no. I will need a wizard as myself. But then also in addition, I need a curled and blackened finger to drive the darkness away. Holy water created by a cleric of a wizarding god. And finally, whispers in the night. That's vague.

Right. You have none of them. I have one of these things. Which one? The wizard. That's vague. Right. Do you have any? You have none of them. I have none of these. I have one of these things. Which one? The wizard. Oh, right. I look to the hag.

I'm like, there's your blackened finger. Yeah, that's true. See, this is why. This entire situation is why I waited to see if you loot. Holy water, I can create. You can make that. Holy water, actually can create. You can make that. Holy water, actually. Is Peniel a wizarding god?

A wizarding god. What? Oh, the vial from the lake. Oh, that's right. The pyrrhon crabs. Is that a wizarding god? I think that was just religious. I don't know what you're talking about.

Of the holy water when he saved all those lycanthrop kids. Oh, no. I don't know if the morning lord or anything like that might be a wizarding god. I can't, I don't have anything. Well, then the darkness cannot be dispelled. Gorub punches Lushen in the stomach. Both of them go, because they share a stomach. Of course.

Gorub looks at you and says, I know a method of dispelling darkness, a first barbarian method. Right. It requires a barbarian scream. Lushen, shut up. Lushen folds one of their arms and says, go on then, first barbarian, show us. Gorob. The darkness begins to recede. Oh my god, it's working.

Like smoke, it's pushed back by the scream. Genuinely shocked. Me too, I thought he was just going to yell at the doctor so they'll be like, why didn't it work? Yeah. You can see the bottom of the scream. Genuinely shocked. Me too. I thought he was just going to yell at the doctor so they'd be like, why didn't it work? Yeah. You can see the bottom of the stairs. The darkness goes back a little bit, but not entirely. Before we go down,

maybe while I was sitting with Pyrrhon, I've made like a little healing grenade using koatal feathers just for healing. Sorry, koatal eggshells for healing. Haggai for accuracy to just, you know, kind of beef it up. And then Amalekite for healing as well. You get...

At our feet. I love your healing grenades. Yeah, me too. I feel like this always happens, though. You get 10 hit points worth of potion. Okay. Would you like to distribute it or drink it all yourself? You know, I was making it as a grenade so I could heal us all.

Oh, I see. Right. Well, it's still only going to be 10 hit points. Well, if I give 10 hit points to everybody, then that's good. I'll take it. All right. Well, we'll say, how many of there are you? Oh, wait.

So it's 10 hit points in total? Yeah. Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry. I'll make another one. I've got ingredients to make another. Sorry, that one sucked I'm sorry. I'll make another one. I've got ingredients to make another. Sorry, that one sucked. Give me another go.

Fuck. This one is about the same power. Can I replace the accuracy with dragon blood so that I get legendary power off it for the second one? All right, you do really well on this final one. Okay. So with this, for the first two, everyone's going to heal four hit points. That's four hit points across the board.

Sorry, that was a dud. I mean, it worked, but I can do better. This would heal a regular man. Yeah, yeah. This is sort of like, yeah, if you meet like a... You're all above that. Better than a regular man? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. A regular man could be guillotined to death.

The rest of us, I don't know. With the last one, everyone gets eight hit points. Nice. That's good. To distribute it across everyone, I'm happy about that. Distribute it across five people, eight hit points each is pretty powerful. All right. All right.

Thank you. Look, that's okay. When I've got the ingredients, it's worthwhile doing. Has Cora been screaming this entire time? Do we have to maintain ingredients, it's worthwhile doing. Has Cora been screaming this entire time? Did he ever maintain that? That's very good. He's got a lot of practice.

Lungs on that boy. After you... Oh, I just would have said really quickly, while you're mixing the potion with Pyrrhon, I don't know if you would participate, but Pyrrhon just like to make himself think of something else, just strikes up a conversation about schooling. Oh, yeah.

He asks you where you went to, how you learned to do what you do. Oh, I, well, I was sort of trained, I guess. I was raised by monks, but I was trained by a man named Duroc Hardcastle. He was a member of the Sharpshot Companions, and so was I for a time.. He was a member of the Sharp Shot Companions, and so was I for a time. But he was a sort of, you know,

it wasn't, the Sharp Shot Companions, they were just mercenaries, but Durak had an interest in, like maybe pull out the Emmanuel and shake that. He had an interest in hunting, and so, well, that ended all rather sourly, but, yeah, so he taught me, by and large.

All while being in the beautiful background of... What about yourself? I was born in the outer planes, specifically hell. Oh, yeah. A lot of tieflings. Well, basically any human who has a child and hell, it comes out as a tiefling. The infernal energy just infuses everything there.

That makes sense. I didn't know my mother very much. She left before I was born. He says it's a joke. But my father raised me for as long as he could. It's a brutal place, obviously. Spent a bit of time. There's a, what do you call it, like a coliseum?

All right. One of the levels of hell is basically just devoted to this massive combat arena. And I spent a lot of time there. Yes, I hope to go back sometime. Really? Well, I've got... He looks over at you and says, I've got a checklist of people who I need to visit. Right.

If I can spend the rest of my life and never go back to the monastery, I'll be happy, I say. Maybe my hand goes to my little Gregory Bones necklace skull, grinning skull, and I kind of hold it for a second. And then maybe with the wineskin, I'm like, here's to terrible childhoods. Yes, absolutely. And we cheer.

Terrible childhoods and revenge. Okay. Fair enough. Something I wish for. Yeah, well, hey, we all need goals. To be continued... D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot,

where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.