D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #5 On the Road Again

Episode Date: June 3, 2023

The party learns about Yender’s magic and the reason she’s been keeping it secret for so long. Pip is once more caught off-guard and frantically makes potions while Hecktor channels his new patron with immediate regret.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Look around you. Though you can see no water for miles around, we are nonetheless marooned, stranded in a nightmare called Barovia. To change metaphors, you, me, and my people are imprisoned here.

The mists that surround us are prison bars, and the devil's stride our jailer. There is only one way out. Either we die, or the devil does. First thing that happens is both of you level up. Hell yeah. And then finally, Hector, as Pip will level up one in Ranger, you will lose one level of Paladin, but you will gain two levels of Warlock, if that makes sense.

Yeah. All right. So the next day you awake. I guess it would be a testing, testing it out in the morning to see if I have like, what was that? It was a dream. What was that? That was a dream. What was that? And maybe I'll just kind of like the energy that would be required to say like summon an Eldritch Blast.

Oh, yes. As an example. Just as an example of an ability. Maybe just like summon it in my hand. Not casting it, just like draw it. When you summon the force energy,

the Eldritch energy for that blast, you see as the tips of your fingers down to about the palm of your hand becomes skeletal. Oh no! I want to like snuff that out. Your hand returns to normal. And then in similar fashion get like

a sacred flame. That sort of like cast into my hand. You conjure Sacred Flame and it comes as normal. I like to imagine I'm sitting in the tent just sipping a cup of tea, not seeing from the front so I don't see your hand become a skeleton, just watching you

fire off magic into the... Oh, just something in my hand, not like firing it off. Just like, yeah, see the energy what that is. I'll stand up. Eleniel is actually standing at the entrance to the lean-to. She's looking in at you and at Keening. Her eyes glance from one of you to the other.

It must have been hard for you. Yeah, yeah, it was. It wasn't easy. To say goodbye, as it were. Yeah, you have no idea. She looks away. She doesn't respond to that. I stand up.

Did I say the wrong thing? Pip doesn't know. Pip, unlike Yender and Kripp, is not a people person. What's everybody doing at camp? You're, well, everyone's kind of just packing up, I suppose. Getting ready for the walk. I'm going to start packing up too. All right.

Yender walks over and has a conversation with Eleniel, presumably about intentions. Hmm. Yeah. During like, I need to have a chat with Yender in a second. Now, maybe if you're packing up. Yeah. I'll throw my backpack onto my back. I'd like to, if you give me a look like you're about to be like, oh, you're packing up yeah i'll uh i'll throwing my backpack onto my back i'd like to if you give me a look like you're about to be like oh you're coming with this i would like to

give you a look that's like please don't mention it i'm just coming with you so wizards of wine then yes wizards of wine yender will um stay here and uh there is uh eleniel talking to yender right now yeah eleniel and yender talking if he gl over Yender, she gives you a big thumbs up. Everything seems fine. Cool. And I believe Eleniel is coming with us. Oh, okay, yeah. Fantastic. And Kribbit too, and... Maybe at the same time you're

like, oh, Eleniel's coming with us. You see Eleniel looking at you and you're like, oh, Pip's coming with us. Kribbit, I assume you will... This one will come with. He nods. He's folding up a metal tray that he filled with water last night and then slept in.

You've maybe not seen this before. This is how Kribbit sleeps. Cute. That is cute. Or how he prefers to sleep. I guess he's not had this... He can sleep in a bed if he has to. The last few nights he's not had the luxury of being able to do this. How he wants to sleep. I guess he's not had this the last few nights he's not had the luxury of being able to do this. How he wants to sleep. Makes this one feel

like when they were tabbed. That's crazy. I guess it makes a level of sense, of course. Well, um, is Mark Willett here? Mark Willett's here, yeah. Kicking in the campfire, kicking in.

Covering up the campfire so that it snuffs out. Well, I guess gather what we need. Are you ready to head off? Yeah. Feeling okay? Yeah. Do you want a moment with Keening? Yeah, I was going to say before we go.

I'll give you a moment. I'll go to Y before we go. I'll give you a moment. I'll go to Yenda and Eleniel. Alright, everyone hovers at the edge of camp while Pip gets a quiet moment with Keening. I'll just kind of maybe kneel down at his side.

I'm doing it again, I guess. Heading off one more time. Once more into the breach or whatever. Maybe I put my hand on his hand, not on his stump. I'll return this time, though. I'll be back. And then I'll stand up. Or maybe I'll kiss him on the forehead.

And then I'll stand up, turn around, not looking back, and walk to the edge of the forest. In the interim, could I, speaking to Yender, what do you know about Aileen? Goddess of death and revenge, she says. Why, Hector? She visited me last night. It wasn't a dream. It was. Yender's eyes pop a little bit.

Uh-huh. What did, what did she say? Uh, she wants a, a further meeting in the Amber temple. Oh, that's heavy. Uh,

is your, your connection to gnomes in Pena has it waxed it's waned what is it well I she looks around

there's no one else here there's certainly no one here that you don't trust I no it doesn't because I I carry a piece of them around with me

like a so she says she takes the back to the bones eh she she like I said previously she has a So she says she takes the... Thinking back to the bones. Eh? She, like I said previously, she has a, her backpack is actually a chest,

like an actual wooden chest that just has straps attached to it. She takes that off and sets it in front of the two of you, in between the two of you. Then she takes out from around her neck, next to her holy symbol, she keeps a set of seven different keys.

She takes out each of the keys and inserts them into the lock in quite clearly a pattern. She, maybe even in this company, she huddles in such a way. Don't look. She makes sure that no one could eavesdrop on the order of the keys. But you hear the keys go in and out probably more than seven times, actually. It's an elaborate series of locks. But then, after a loud clicking noise, the chest pops open, and Yender opens it for the two of you to view within.

As she opens it, you realize, when the chest is open, you realize how long it has been since you looked at the sun, or since you felt the sun upon you. Whoa. That's talk about heavy there is a light emanating from within the chest not unlike imagine the sort of light that you'd get if you opened the briefcase from fucking what's it called yeah from pulp fiction it feels like a moment like that and being bathed in the light it feels like it feels like your batteries are being recharged it feels like a renewed vigor of faith for you probably you look in and inside there is

a single torn piece of paper you realize what this is so i spoke earlier that your bible is a series of letters between gnomes and pannier this is one of those letters is that a letter it yender looks down and it looks up at you and then nods slowly it looks like it was written in sun like the the ink looks like it was sunlight this is a one of the original this is an original Aye, she says. How did you get that? It's, I was entrusted to me. I was to deliver it to the king priest in Hydale. But, well, this happened instead, she says. I see. She closes the chest and relocks it.

Maybe Kribbit issues a long, loud, whew! That is... Kribbit begins writing, and Yender, still looking at you, Hector, Yender reaches out, grabs the page Kribbit is writing on, and tears it out. Oh! There are rules. That is something.

Incredible that you have that. Mark Willard, who doesn't really understand the significance of this, and frankly probably doesn't care, this is not, as far as he's concerned, you would know this, Hector, as far as the elven religion is concerned, the gods of other religions are actually just powerful people. They don't see them as really gods. They see the elements of nature as gods.

They are not people. Yes. Right. Well, yes. Eileen came elements of nature as gods. They are not people. Yes. Right. Well, yes. Eileen came to me in a vision. I can feel Peniel's powers fade, but I feel Eileen's powers grow.

All right. That's interesting. Interesting. I understand with a lot of the other faiths, their approach to life, to death, to rebirth, it's very much a cycle. The Arabs, for example,

their way of dealing with life and death is that it is natural. It is a thing of rebirth and constantly that we need death for life. I know there are some other religions that accept that. That's not what Eileen is. Eileen's not a cycle. Eileen's true death, the end, destruction of life,

not about something new coming, about what's there dying. Is the ever-present castle Ravenloft in Eyeline? Yeah, as always, you glance in that one direction. Well, if it is the death of what is here, wouldn't that be a good thing? I point to

the castle. Yinda doesn't seem to have an answer for that, but when she puts the backpack on, she seems apprehensive. At that, Mark Willett, who, as I said, as i said he's like above his pay i lean penny uh who cares he mark willett interrupts i'm sorry but we best not waste any daylight i'll take you uh yender you'll have to stay here someone's going to need to watch just in case a creature or something habits upon this camp. But Yender, you're going to have to stay here.

I'll take the rest of them out to Valakai and then I'll come back and collect you. Yender nods. I'll rejoin at this point, I assume. It's funny to have missed all of that. Yeah. All right. Yes, to the Wizard of Wine.

All right. Look after him. Takes about an hour. So it's 8 a.m. when you return back onto the Slavich Road just near Valakai. Mark Quillett gives you a curt nod and says, well, best of luck, I suppose. Yeah. We'll need it. Thank you.

Honestly, I hope you don't because I feel like I need it too. I know. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. We're all in trouble. You set off westward towards the Wizards of Wines. Wizards of Wines? Wizard of Wines.

Yeah. So the first day. Fucking follow-up video. You forgot about this? No, I know. I've been waiting for it, Adam. No, we did not. Of course it's coming.

It's my favorite part. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Such childlike glee in your voice. Yeah, this is not great. That's a high-level encounter, so I'm rolling on the nighttime table. Oh, no. It's as if it was nighttime.

Oh, my. But it's daytime. Adam, you cunt. You should have known. As if they would let you forget that they were around. Oh, fucking hell. These fuckers. You are not far from valakai quite clearly they've been waiting for you how you how they knew perhaps they have the roads east and west guarded but for however

they knew they knew uh one by one four diarist wolves stalk their way out of the forest. Now, what is the best passive perception? Are they going to get the drop on you? God damn it. And cribbit is not great. Elaniel's pretty good. Actually, I think Elaniel's got you covered here. Thank God you're not surrounded. Elaniel detects them before they surround you.

She puts her hand up and looks back at the group. She says, Did anyone here piss off some diarist wolves? She says. And then they're upon you. Yes, why? Oh yeah. Yeah, the answer is yes. Well, actually no, I never

did anything to these wolves. Pip, it's your turn. Okay. There's four of them. Highs or lows? Highs. Boris is not among them. That's good. That's great.

Boris is like a diaristist wolf. I'm going to make a new entry in the, uh, in Emmanuel. Um, all right. I am going to, can I get many with a burst shot? Oh, wait, hang on. Is that a short? No, it is a short rest.

Yeah. There's two groups of two, so you could get two of them. That's a 30, you'd need to move forward. 30 foot cone, yeah. Yeah, but honestly at this point I might as well just fire an arrow into each and it would achieve basically the same thing. Alright, yeah, I'll fire an arrow

into each. Twang! First attack hits, second attack..., second attack... The second attack is a hit. And that will be six... 12 points of damage total. Regular arrows.

I assumed. You hit the... Let's say the closest werewolf. Hold on. You hit the closest diarist wolf with two heavy shots from your heavy crossbow. Hell yeah. And then Hector, it's your turn.

So it's four diarist wolves. Correct. Try out some of them new powers you got, buddy. Yeah, yeah, go on. Get some brand new toys. Use some abilities. How, so how far away are they? Elenia would have detected them

about 60 feet away. Right. I just want to point my finger at the one that Pip did and cast Sacred Flame. That's a deck saving throw? Yes. All right.

It passes. Damn, no damage. That's a shame. If only you'd cast an Eldritch Blast. That would have been a hit if it were an Eldritch Blast. Do you want to change it? Not right now. Okay.

All right. Okay. Okay. Weird. Don't want to use Eldritch Blast? This guy's not helping the party, Jack. I'll rough him up for you. It's Kribbit's turn.

Kribbit plays turn Kribbit Plays a song Good on him My good friends They are very good At killing these wolves He gives body conspiration to Let's say Pip

Cheers Kribbit No worry And then Oh god that rolls. He hits dealing... Oh, nice job. 14 points of damage. Fuck.

Better than me. Max damage. Yeah. One of the diarist wolves is bloodied. Oh, nice. From all of those attacks. That's counting your... He hits the same one that you hit, Pip.

And then it is Eleniel. Eleniel plants both of her feet. She's probably at the front of this formation. She plants both of her feet very firmly and then leaps backwards, sliding past the entire formation. And as she does so, she starts drawing and knocking branches,

just sticks which become arrows as they enter her bow. That's sick as hell. She is going to use one of her new abilities for being level 8 as well. Negative 5 to the attack. That's still a hit. That's a critical hit. And that will still be a hit. All right, she hits three times.

The first attack, it deals 13 13 19 points of damage one of the direst walls goes down fuck yeah then let's find out what that critical hit one more pray for a high number

high number high number high number jack do better I jinxed this you did deep wound

make a DC 14 constitution saving throw on a failed save take an additional D6 piercing damage. No comment. That's a fail. Hell yeah.

So this second attack deals 14, 20 points of damage. 20 points of damage and then Eleniel oh that last attack deals another 20 points of damage another Dyrus wolf

goes down she's going sicko mode on these wolves one Dyrus wolf? yeah I think so so two dead? two dead

yeah two dead two left no Krivit didn't kill one that's right yes no sorry god I'm stupid stupid stupid it's the Dyrus wolf's's the Dyrus wolves turn.

The Dyrus wolves are going to go for, who's at the front? Eeny, meeny, miny, pip. Pip, they go past Hector to kick. Do they hate me? That makes sense. No, actually I think one goes for Pip, one goes for Hector.

They hate Pip, but they're not dumb. Hector, you're first. That's a critical fail. Pray for a high number. I mean, a low number. No, a high number, yeah. High, high, high, high, high, high. How did my non-praying go?

Yeah. It did pretty well. Okay, the trick is never pray. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the trick to beating the game. Oh, my God. Make a DC 16. Out for the count.

Make a DC 16 constitution saving throw, or fall over and be knocked unconscious. Alright! The Dyrus Wolf leaps for you, Hector. You step out. Oh, you lift up your shield. Donk! The Dyrus Wolf just wasn't expecting that. It knocks itself unconscious.

And then the other Dyrus Wolf is going for you. Okay. That Adiris wolf does significantly better than its companion. Okay. Pip. Whoa! One of the nice rolls that I wasn't expecting.

Yeah, it was good. Pip, you take... I'd like to use my... Yes. This is my feat, martial adept or whatever the fuck. Yeah. And I'd like to, I think, parry feat, martial adept or whatever the fuck. Yeah. And I'd like to, I think parry. I think I parry if they hit.

You bring up your crossbow bolt. Your cross, yeah, your crossbow. Sorry, not your crossbow bolt. The crossbow takes the brunt of the damage. One point. Take five points of damage instead. Awesome. So you're on 53 now

Awesome Hey that could be the difference between life and death That might be And then you need to make a strength saving throw Okay You're on the ground Fuck The dire is full for savaging

And then it is Pip your turn You have the bardic inspiration don't forget Oh that's true Alright I will just I'll just plug it in the chest with my crossbow Bring it up to like the center of its ribcage, and twang, twang. Miss hit.

Okie doke. The direst wolf takes... And I'll use my bardic inspiration for damage on the one that hits. The direst wolf takes 16, 19 points of damage. Good job. Hell yeah. The direst wolf is in pain. Good. But the pain. Good.

But the pain is brief. Then the diarist... Yeah, you don't get even a moment to forget that it's a fucking wolf on top of you. Actually, it's a diarist wolf on top of you. It's bigger than a fucking wolf. These things take down horses on their own. Hector, it's your turn. I will look at the wolf that is unconscious and

just turn my back on it. You turn around. Thinking maybe it's a ploy, so very carefully turn my back and swing twice on the other wolf. When you turn around to face the other wolf,

you turn around to look at the rest of the group and Cribbit is in said group. Cribbit gives you a big thumbs up. And then you sway. I just wanted you to know that. Okay. That's nice. Do you get two attacks?

Yeah? All right. First attack, miss. Second attack, hit. Thank God you get the two. You deal, what is it? The mace, right? D6?

Yeah. Plus your charisma now. Ten points of damage. Whoa. The direst wolf is still standing. Fuck. But it's bloodied. That's fun to do.

Was there anything else? We're so early. We don't know how to use this. I'll be fine. Yeah, it's so early. All right, no, it's too early to start using spells. I will say, though, because you're using your charisma, that's a warlock thing, right?

When you swing with your mace, you... Oh, no, wait, you don't have enough armor yet to not see this. Because you do not have gauntleted hands, you can see that your hands become skeletal when you swing. Uh-oh. Yeah. That's obscured by the wolf for me.

Yes. You can't see because of a wolf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Kribbit's excuse. And Delaniel didn't give a shit. Yeah. Then it is said Kribbit's turn. Actually, does Kribbit notice? Nah. Kribbit's turn. Actually, does Kribbit notice? No.

Kribbit's too busy doing his little dance. Aw. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- but it's a knob, and it's got several different settings. They're all written in a language you don't understand. Krippet turns the knob to a different setting, and then this time when he begins winding it, instead you hear... Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Heck, a pip, that is baffling.

I don't know how or why. It feels like it needs to turn more than it should just to get the song out it deals 7 points of damage that Tyrus wolf goes down good job lifted off myself

and that's initiative and that one is still unconscious yeah you fucking you shoot it in the head I know time is of the essence, but checking the guts of these wolves is probably beneficial for me. Well, it's a several day trip, so the time

it takes to do this is not. Sure, did you need any assistance? Anything like that? Yeah, if you want. So that direst wolf attack probably would have happened because I did several encounter rolls. You get a few over the course of the day. Every day could have so many encounters in it. I didn't know that. Oh yeah, that was three different encounter rolls. That's so good to hear. of the day. Every day could have so many encounters in it. I didn't know that. That was so good to hear.

Fuck me dead. So that would have happened at about evening. Maybe mid-evening. So if you're going to decide to butcher these walls, it's probably worth just setting down as well. Maybe we'll drag them kind of into the... Because we're on the road, yeah? We'll drag them off the side of the road into like a

grove. There are many places. You probably don't want to go that far into the forest, but there are many them off the side of the road into like a grove there are many places you probably don't want to go that far into the forest but there are many places on the side of the road that you could camp all right it's not like a when i say road it's it's like because just enough people use it it's there's no paving to this you could probably it's probably good camping just on the road that's crazy very very very few people will be by in the night. No one travels Barovia at dark. That's true.

It is stupid to do. All right. Well, then we'll set up camp maybe a little bit off the road just in case. Yeah, if you want to give me a hand butchering them, basically just cut them open and look for – well, they'll all have diarist wolf hearts. Are you asking everyone? Well, no, Hector or Offord.

Okay. If everyone else wants the help, they can. Hector, you give Pip advantage on his check. You're a team player. Yeah, you get several things out of these wolves. Maybe as I pull them out, like, because Hector seems a little interested, I'm just showing them off to you. Arms, bloody.

Unlike a regular wolf, you actually happen to get treasure out of these. As they actually have literally swallowed treasure. Finally, some treasure pouches. Yeah. And I think at this point, because we are so strapped for resources, it is a like, no, no, I need to probably learn it. If not, it'll help you out. Yeah, for sure.

Obviously, you get four diarist wolf hats. But in addition to that, you get... Fuck it, you get some wolfsbane. One of them had like a... You get... Oh, fuck. One of them was covered. Like, it was growing. It was matted in its fur. You get five doses of wolfsbane.

Jesus Christ. I got so much wolfsbane. That's probably you for the rest of this adventure. I'm fucking packed with it. And you say this wolfsbane. Jesus Christ. I got so much Wolfsbane. That's probably you for the rest of this adventure. I'm fucking packed with it. And you say this Wolfsbane. Wolfsbane, I know it's bad for shape changes of any kind. Grows on wolves, bad for anything. A were-raven, if one pisses you off, put it in their face, they'll run away.

You additionally of that get some Devil's Horn. I would say just two doses of devil's horn. Devil's horn is a kind of a little red flower kind of grows inside kind of the inner skin of a lot of creatures. It's very, it's good for magic resistance. If you don't want to get, you know,

zapped by a spell or whatever, you can eat some of this. It's fine by itself, but you know, you want to probably combine it with something else, even a bit of sugar to make it a bit more palatable. One dose of quaggoth vein. Quaggoth

is a kind of... Imagine a bear, but it's got a kind of lascivious leer on its face. It's actually got nothing to do with quaggoth. It's a creeping vine, but it's great for a poison immunity if you combine it with something else and put it back in my little pack.

You get four doses of ooze sweat. Okay. Ooze sweat is just very sticky. You rub your sword or your mace feasibly in it, and you can just dip that in anything else, and it'll stick to the— That would be very, very useful. It's the same with shambling moss. It's very sticky as well, very gripping.

And then you get one formian eye, and that's it. These are deformed magic. So remember in the abbey, but also remember in the blacksmith. Yeah, when I covered everyone in that dust or whatever, there was a formian eye that did that. Yeah, and that's what you find. And then the rest is meat, which you can eat in a pinch. And then when you

open their bellies, when you open their stomachs, people fall out and they're stuffed. And these were... Darius wolves are big. They're huge. They take down horses. Like the common druid. You find 80 gold pieces.

Nice. You find 40 silver pieces. All of these are strange Barovian coins, which bear on one side the face of Strahd, and then on the other side a map of, not map a a side on view of ravenloft the castle uh what did i just say 40 gold 40 silver you get a a copper chalice with silver filigree which would be worth about 25 gold give or take it's depending on if you're i imagine it's tricky to get yeah it's hard to find someone to buy that sell it to you okay a pair of engraved bone dice you just don't want to question whose bone uh just maybe a carved bone statuette of of the king of tongues

okay that would be worth at least a hundred gold on its own I guess these guys are just eating cult toast that's cool you know the king of tongues so this is what that is

nasty little fella and that's it. Is it the kind of thing we need to burn or crush or something? It's just like ornamental. It doesn't hold any significance or powers. I mean, someone could turn it into something of significance by worshipping it. In your hands, it's no significance. Yes.

I'll just destroy it. You break it up. I'm like, well, I'll just destroy it. Yeah. Okay. You break it up. I'm like, well, I'll just put it down, Mace. Bang. Yeah. That was. Yeah. All right. I guess the wolves are eating.

That was 100 gold. What are you spending it on, Kribbit? Come on. Kribbit, then we're selling it. Kribbit like egg. That's fair. Kribbit once saw big egg. Very expensive. How good are you at collecting fair. Kribbit wants a big egg. Very expensive.

How good are you at collecting eggs, Kribbit? Good. He says. Wait, collect and keep? Yes.

Yeah, I mean. Oh. No, no, I mean. Not as good. Collect and then eat. Collect and then eat. Oh, yeah, good. Kribbit eat chicken.

Kribbit eat what cowl cuckoo, cuckoo. Yeah, good. Kribbit eat chicken. Kribbit eat what called a wide wing hunt other bird. Like an eagle. Eagle. Okay, Kribbit eat eagle. Eagle. In Kribbit's language, call that bird that fly on high and eat smaller bird. All right.

And other people call eagle. It probably sounds more like when he says it. Maybe I'll start making the campfire, like lighting the campfire up. Eagle. And I have a chicken crib. Chicken egg.

First egg said eat. Then emu. Oh, right. Okay. And then hippogriff. Right. And then griffon. Okay.

And then emu again. I'm going to start. I will start the fire. Yeah, yeah. All right. Pip's started to tune out cribbit now. The best egg is cootail. People not happy about that one.

People mad. Kribbit need to leave. This is like fucking Temple Guardian. All right, I've grubbed. You're just stoking the, what? Kribbit not allowed in that town anymore. Kribbit not know. Kribbit. He's just stoking the, what? Kribbit not allowed in that town anymore. Kribbit not know. Kribbit think snake.

Kribbit thought big snake. Big snakes exist. Are they like sentient? Do they talk? Yeah, that's how Kribbit know they mad. Oh, right. Kribbit eat, big snake come out, say, shouldn't have done that. Then Cribbit need to leave.

Yeah, you really would have. People in town love Cribbit till that. Then people in town like, no eat guardian egg. Well, also snakes eat frogs, so you've got to be pretty scared in that situation. Snakes eat frogs. What? Yes, that's what they eat. No!

I don't know why this is such news to you, Krivit. Oh, my God. It eats mostly snakes, birds, other... Lots of things eat frogs. Herons? Birds also eat... Krivit, quite clearly he's mimicking you. He's developed this from you, but he does the snout-rubbing thing that you do?

Yes, like the eagle, what you call the – Eagle eat frog? Cribbit in so much danger. Yeah. Well, not from an eagle here necessarily. You probably need to be careful. I mean, if an eagle holds a grudge. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Kribbit takes out an old book that you've never seen him write in because it's full. It's just page to page full. He flips through until he shows you

an incredible drawing of him with an arm full of eggs running from an eagle in the background. This would eat Kribbit. Well, I mean, you've stolen his eggs.

He's going to certainly peck the shit out of you. Oh, yeah. Kribbit shows some scars you've stolen his eggs. He's going to certainly peck the shit out of you. Oh, yeah. Kribbit shows some scars on the back of his head. I think if it caught you, it would have flown you to their nest and probably, well... Kribbit vomits.

Oh, it's okay, buddy. Yeah, you'll be right. Do you know how many things he does? I mean, just the direwolves. Oh, Kribbit know this. You can take some solids in the fact you ate their eggs. It's a kind of revenge. how many things he does. I mean, just the dire wolves. Yeah, he does. Oh, could have been all this. Yes, well. You can take some solids in the fact you ate their eggs.

It's a kind of revenge. It's like you finding out chicken eat you. I think my chicken would eat me if I died in his cage. That's cool. David want to meet chicken.

Talk about chicken that holds a grudge. Goodness me. Anyway. Anyway, is anybody, how's everybody going? Health-wise, you all right? Not too bad, yeah, I'll be all right for the night. Kribbit, you feeling?

Kribbit, okay. He's one hit point off. I'm like one or two. He's got like a scuff. Elaniel's basically untouched. We'll set up a watch. Do we do it in twos or in... Probably best? Yeah, probably best.

There's two twos, so you'll take basically four hour shifts each. Yeah, no worries. Well, in that case, Jack, would you like to roll... Are you taking the first shift? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a d12? Yeah. Oh, no, sorry. A d20. You want a d20. I do have a d20.

Roll the d20. Sorry. D12 is if you..., no, sorry. A D20. You want a D20? I do have a D20. Yeah, roll the D20. Chunky one heel. D12 is if you fuck up. 14. 14? You're, oh. I'm okay. All right. And then, would you like to roll it? And I think I'd be probably with Elaniel.

Yeah, yeah. Sure. I'll hang out with Krobit. Yeah, I don't think Elaniel wants to take Pip's watch. Also, like, you know, they're good at looking. I'm dog shit. That does kind of split the lookers up. Funny thing to say.

That can't be good. Now, I'm like, maybe that's really good. Yeah, we don't know. Now, Webb, I don't know. What'd you get? A one. A one? No, that's fine.

Okay, thank goodness. That's fine. For me? Oh. No, I'm kidding. The night goes by uneventfully. I reckon I spent the whole night telling Kribbit about Pop, my chicken.

Kribbit listens. Yeah, just regale him with the tales of Pop. Kribbit, from your descriptions, draws pictures of Pop, which I'm sure are out of the question. A monstrous. Well, we'll be heading close to my camp, so it might be beneficial to at least spend a night there, so you'll get to

meet Pop, and you can try and steal Pop's eggs, and i bet pop has laid a lot of eggs in the interim can't wait all right second day journeying you get to it's not the crossroads you need but it is one of the two crossroads the crossroads we fought the druids the lunar river crossroads yeah we've been here before yeah oh yeah Oh, yeah. I know you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whether or not this is... Anyway. So at this point, you would spot coming from the north.

So the north is Lake Baratok and the Van Richten's Tower. From that direction, you can see a lone figure wandering southwards towards you. Do they seem deformed? Is it maybe two people? That's a very rude way of playing. Get a good boy card. Yes. That's funny to get in the middle of you insulting me.

And both of you, yeah, it's Goroblushen. Hell yeah. What'd you get? That was a good look. A potion in your inventory is potent enough to confer its full benefit twice. Does that apply to my alchemy potions? I'd allow it, sure. It has to be a drinkable one, though.

Yeah, yeah. Mad. All right. So, yeah, you see Goroblushan approaching you from the north. I forgot we instructed them to come meet us. They need to go to Valakai. I mean, we could still send them to, if you think they would be better suited there.

I don't think they're, to be honest, Hector, I don't think they're suited anywhere. They begin slowing down as they approach you and you realize they're sprinting. They look like they've been sprinting since the tower. That's a long time to be running. Are they running in unison? Does it seem like the time between

they've kind of developed a... No. Like they're arguing, but they're also running. Maybe they time alone together. Thank you! Good to see you! Company! They're both yelling.

Maybe before they even get to us. Maybe by the time they... This one, he was unbearable! Luscious! Always talking! I can't imagine. Master Wizard this! Master Wizard that!

He's an idiot! I was really... This one, he wouldn't stop yammering. Gorob the Great, Gorob the Strong, Gorob the fucking fool, if you ask me. If you're in some kind of cult and they want to join up, I mean, they'd be... Then I would leave the cult, I'll tell you what. This is so cool. Oh, yeah, Krivit's not in there. Oh, right, Krivit, what. This is so cool. Oh yeah, Krivit's not Krivit, yes, this is Krivit.

Ah, a grung! I've met one of these before. Oh yes, in one of your famous Lushen tales, I'm sure. We should not have left them alone. They've gone a little crazy in the meantime.

Have you found Van Richten to tear me from this hideous, disgusting creature? No. Not yet. Not yet. They weren't in Velikai. Too bad. Well, perhaps then it is good that we're heading onwards to where they are, yes? We are heading to the Wizards of Wine first.

They look at each other. They look at you and they say, we don't want to be alone anymore. I don't know if you've noticed, but he's unbearable. Oh, my God. Yes, well, you could come. Yes, yes. We were going to fill him in on the beats, soldiering through any interruptions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ignoring them. And there are many. I assumed. And then that's why we thought maybe we could use both of you. Where's the big one? Oh, right. He disappeared. Oh, right. He disappeared.

Oh, right. He's... I'm very sorry, but Gorgash is... Yes, he disappeared. Gorob and Lushen look at you, and uncharacteristically they understand. There's,

uncharacteristically, a quiet moment. They stood on some kind of, I don don't know some kind of trap or something he stood on a trap both put a hand on your shoulder obviously you know how someone will put one hand on one shoulder they do that but twice and both of them

look you at well you're a bit taller than them I squat awkwardly so at least we're at least i we will find him he's a tough old sort much tougher than this idiot yes and much smarter than that fool yes he was the he was the best of us and would often remind us of that. But I believe he's in... Remember how annoying that was? Not at all. I believe he's potentially in Castle Ravenloft. Well then, once we are freed, we will free him.

Nothing will turn us from this purpose, except wizards of... We're going to a winery? Yes, we're going to a winery. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know how he got... Yes, yeah, we're going to a winery.

All right. Maybe Red Ritten will be there. Who knows? He wasn't at Velikai or the Tower. You have it on good authority he could be there? No. Not really, no. Wow.

Do you not listen? Wow. Well, we'll keep looking until we find him. There was some idea he could be at the Amber Temple, right? That's true. Well, that's why we said Pyrrhon and Esme. So maybe. Yes, I remember.

Yeah, all right. We were there. They both look a little mad at you. It's been a long time. That's all. So we're going to there after. Yeah. This is a vine first for more Taraka people.

And then on to the Amber Temple. Oh, by the way, did diarist wolves attack either of you? Oh, yes. Many times. Oh, because we were basically, they look at each other. We were kind of in like a siege situation for a little while. Oh, all right. Yeah, it's difficult because this one can't swim.

That one is the one who can't swim. This one can't swim. In your current state, I can't imagine either. So anyway, there was only one way on or off the island. And he had to, you know, he's an idiot. No, no no no can we have this conversation whilst walking

yeah sure yeah go on they just it just goes on and on like this part of me is like well how did you

break the siege and all that but I'm like ah Pip doesn't want to know yeah every now and then

you hear snippets and you maybe part of you is like that actually sounds like they killed a lot of diverse wolves that is impressive that is very impressive wow have they also noticed the waning magical wave

yeah they've literally you would get at least this much literally from the time you left till when they got the message a bit before they got the message, it was like constant. Oh my god. Like pretty never-ending having to deal

with diarist wolves. Those diarist wolves were really trying to dislodge them. Weird. Well, not that weird. And yeah, as a result of that, they noticed that at a certain point their powers weren't coming back as quickly. It appears myself and another companion of ours, her name is Yenda,

it seems like maybe we might have, during one of our, we tell the battle of... Sucking Barovia dry. It seemed that we kind of, we went through it. Well, Yenda's getting her powers from the page that she's taking. Yeah, I know. All right. I'm aware, Adam. Cool, cool, cool.

Good stuff. Yeah. All right. Over the course of the day, at one point, you spot, this would be still early morning, so before midday, you spot at the side of the road a heap of clothing like a pile of clothing maybe i would say a meter tall oh my god just heaps of clothing do i know what this means yeah actually you know what you've been here long enough you mean uh there is a creature within barovia that you know of that when it changes you've encountered it already it is convenient

for it to not be wearing its clothes and there's a meter high pile of clothes Hector you don't know what this means I like stop my mouth and it drops maybe I start rubbing my snout what is that? when a werewolf

changes it sort of would wreck its pants if it stays in its pants. Right. So the werewolf. Can I like discern how many werewolves this represents? Maybe you go by pants. Yeah, yeah. You sift through.

Kind of wildly. Nobody wears two pairs of pants. So when a werewolf changes, is it unconscious when the moon is full? Because we saw them do it. It's daytime, so this is quite clearly they've changed of their own volition. There's a bunch of different kinds of werewolves, but these would have been intentional. If it's an accident or if it's caused by the moon. Which would also mean they're evil.

Yeah, you don't have a... Are the clothes warm? I touched the clothes. Fifteen pairs of pants. That's fifteen fucking wolves. Were they warm? Yeah, the clothes, they feel like they were recently worn. They're not warm.

Yes. I recommend we shut up, say the Garabunlashen, and we just try to quietly make our way past this part of the woods. Yes, you have any potions and stuff that you can make while we do this, just in case? Yeah, maybe I will. As we skulk along, I'm going to bring out my little alchemy kit and try and make something. Yeah, cool. No worries. Yeah.

Yeah, good. Good scene, you say. 15. You first. It's like the whole werewolf fight from the beginning again. Hector get a good boycott. Yeah, but that's- Cribbit.

Eleniel. She was always going to pass. Actually, she gets advantage. I forget. I keep forgetting, but Eleniel gets advantage and I'm still thralls. And then Gorob and Lushen. Surely if Elaniel gets advantage, they get disadvantage, right? Right?

Right? No, they don't get disadvantage. That'd be rude. I mean, they can. I mean, I would give them disadvantage. They can try. They deserve disadvantage. They do.

All right, fine. Disadvantage it is is Bad boy card for me Good Okay Well yeah Gorob and Lushen I don't know if you could tell But I just drew a bad boy card

Yeah Okay And Gorob and Lushen Start screaming He's stepping on my foot Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

Oh! Okay. God damn it. Something's running in your direction. What would you like to do? Where are they running from? Behind? In front?

Dude, I think it's all directions. Hey! Get a good boy card, Jackson. Okay, get a good boy card, Jackson. Get a bad boy card, Adam. Alright, that's not so bad. And it's covered in armor. One of them's gonna be armored. Yay.

Awesome. Awesome shit, dude. One of them's covered in armor. One of them's covered in armor. Yay. Yeah, they're coming from all directions. Cool. All right.

Okay. Grab out my weapon. I'm going to channel divinity before they get here and make it a magical weapon of plus five. I would like to cast cordon of arrows. Okay. Lol. See if that helps. So rude. like to cast cordon of arrows okay lol see if that helps so rude uh crib it's gonna give hector you a bardic inspiration thank you um yeah i grew up in lush and unfortunately have nothing that they

can prepare but they just get ready eleniel unlumbers her quiver, turns it upside down, and slams it into the ground hard. When she brings the quiver up, you see there are a bunch of sticks stuck into the ground. She begins grabbing at sticks, knocking, drawing, fire arrow, knock, draw, fire arrow, knock, draw. She starts moving in like a circle, just firing arrows in different directions.

She is also casting Cordon of Arrows. Hell yeah. moving in like a circle just firing arrows in different directions um she is also casting cordon of arrows hell yeah i can only put four arrows down i bet she can put more no she's also four yes a werewolf wearing leather armor explodes out of the bush starts charging

then another one then another one then another one four in total. Actually, you know what? How many of there are you? One, two, three, four, five. Five in total. Okay, funny. Yeah, each one of them attacks one of you.

Well, let's go to initiative. All right, Hector, your turn. Could I have made a potion, actually? I said I did it on the way here. Okay, sure. I'm just combining Wolf's Bane, some Shambling Moss,

and a Dire Wolf Heart to make a Cold Arrows of Shape Changer Bane, basically. Sure, that's fine. Nice. Thank you. Hector, it's your turn first. Are they close to us? Are they far away? They're about 30 feet from you. Alright, I will... Less than that, actually.? They're about 30 feet from you. All right.

I will... Less than that, actually. Fuck, they're 10 feet from you. God. All right. I will step forward, and I will, with my magical enhanced mace, I will hit them twice. All right. Let me know if I hit.

What's about to happen? First attack, hit. Second attack, hit. Oh. what's about to happen first attack hit second attack hit oh uh can I before as a bonus action Adam I would have liked to cast um a bit of a curse

oh okay uh I would like to to to to um hexblade curse the werewolf I'm about to hit and then hit them I uh plus three bonus to Hexblade Curse the werewolf I'm about to hit. All right. And then hit them.

I plus three bonus to damage rolls, crits on a 19 and 20, and I regain seven hit points if they die. That's cool. You heal seven hit points? If they die. As you place a hex upon this lead werewolf, you hear in the back of your mind,

yes. That's not no good that's real bad all right pip it's impossible for hector to hide this yeah hector begins to take on a skeletal appearance as he fights you see his hands are just bones so it's just uh yeah bones sticking out of the end of his sleeves and then every time he swings you see it like like a shimmer through his body his flesh and skin disappears no it's just his flesh disappears and for a brief moment it's skin lying on skeleton oh no just like in flickers giving you a i mean it's a dragon's face, so it's hard to... What's this face, Adam?

Like who helps the professor and the Muppets? Oh yeah, Beaker. Beaker face. Yeah, like a Beaker face. You deal 12, 17, 22 points of damage in total. Okay. And I'd like to expand a first-level spell, Adam, and smite on one of those.

Okay. Is that power channeled from Warlock? Yes. All right. But it is powered in ability. But it's channeled through. It's a first-level spell, right? Yeah.

Challenge, challenge, challenge. How much damage? 2d8. Then you deal another 8 points of damage as you channel the energy of Aileen into your holy smite. It feels wrong. Rather than a holy light, it's a sickly

green energy that channels up through your arm. You feel a skeletal hand wrap around your hand. Your hands, while they appear skeletal, are still physical flesh. And so you just, around your flesh hand, you feel a skeletal hand wrap around it. And for a brief moment, that's when it happens. That's when your hand appears skeletal, when the other hand is wrapped around yours. And when that happens when it happens that's when your hand appears skeletal when the other hand is wrapped around yours and when that happens you realize it's not your hand it's not your hand holding that mace it's her hand her hand is holding that mace and while the

impact is your choice the follow-through is her decision okay oh no for just a brief moment in every swing every time you use this power you are not in control it's never something you don't want to do or maybe maybe even sometimes it's something you meant to do but you know for those brief moments you're not the one doing it wow that was your turn hector was there anything else oh yep, yep. That's it. All right. Elaine Eel does that cool leap back thing. Hell yeah. And when she does that as well, several of the arrows that she, the sticks that she shoved into the ground, leap up into the air and then fire themselves off. The werewolf she's fighting takes just a single point of damage.

Hey, it's not nothing. just a single point of damage. Hey, it's not nothing. And then she herself is going to... She... When she knocks and draws this arrow, you can see that it grows leaves. And when she fires it,

the leaves explode out sideways and the arrow that strikes... Yes. When it strikes, the leaves become vines which wrap themselves around the werewolf. Fucking kicks ass. That werewolf is restrained. He takes a paltry amount of damage, but he falls to the floor completely consumed in vines.

Oh, the werewolf you hit, by the way, is bloodied. Oh, nice. Okay. And then it is the werewolf's turn. The one fighting Eleniel can't get to her, but two more werewolves appear. They don't get an attack this turn, but they're on the floor. That's no good. That's no good.

Can we, we can't outrun a fucking werewolf. No. Not in a million years. Hector, you're going to get attacked. Oh, shit. And we don't have. We don't outrun a fucking wolf. No. Not in a million years. Hector, you're going to get attacked. Oh, shit. And we don't have... We don't have Yanda. No, we don't.

We don't have Esmeralda. If we get fit, we have you. Oh, yeah. Fuck. True. I don't know how to make that potion. Esmeralda knew how to make that potion, and she was very mad at me when we last spoke

and never told me how. Hector, you take six points of damage, and you how to make that potion, and she was very mad at me when we last spoke and never told me how. Hector, you take six points of damage, and you need to make a constitution saving throw. I didn't even think. I was like, oh, werewolves, they're no big deal. They're a big deal. That's like Jerry Seinfeld. They're a big deal. A big deal.

Hector, can you just make a little W mark at the top of your page, please? Yeah. Can you make a I'm a werewolf mark at the top of your page, please. Yeah. Can you make a I'm a werewolf mark at the top of your page? Actually, you know what? I'm not going to roll these just yet. It's better off if just mark down you've been bit once

and then we'll roll these after the combat is done. Okay. And then it's claw attack. Thankfully, it rakes over your armor. Pip. Yeah, hey, what up? Oh, wow.

The bite attacks are doing well. Bite attacks are popular. You take eight points of damage, and can you mark that you've been bit once? Yeah, I'd love to. Hey, you're both on 45 hit points. The one fighting Elaniel can't reach her because it's restrained. Gorub and Lushen are going to get attacked. That's a miss-miss.

What's going to happen if they become werewolf? Kribbit gets bit. Wow, bites are popular. Kribbit wolf, man. Oh, little wolf, man. That'll be cute. We'll let Kribbit turn. Kribbit has one bite.

All right, then it is Pip, your turn. Okay, with a scatter shot, sorry, a spray shot, how many could I hit? 30-foot cone. Three. I'll take it. All right.

Also, you have cordon of arrows, right? Yes. One of the werewolves gets struck by two of the arrows, or the werewolf charging you gets struck by two arrows, and it's going to take eight points of damage. And then, sorry, what did you say you were going to do? Spray shot. Spray shot. So I'll load all of the bolts into the crossbow once. Pile them all in.

Something that I can't imagine, never would have in my life imagined would work. It's more like a... It knocks your, nearly knocks you on your fucking ass. Can't be good for the crossbow. You, oh no, it's not. You hit twice. Okay. You don't have, They're just regular bolts right

No these are the Cold damage Shape changer bayon bolts You did pretty well on that roll So these two ones are Unfortunately they're against two different guys But they are going to do a bit of damage That's

14, 17 points of damage to one Nice That's 13 points of damage to the other one. Neither of them are bloodied. Still, I'll take it. But you have hurt both of them. And then the third attack goes wide. Yeah, yeah.

And it's Kribbit's turn. Kribbit has already... Oh, no, you used your Bardic Inspiration, right? No. No, I don't think he has. Oh, didn't you? Oh. Well, then he's given bardic inspiration to Pip.

Yes. And does he have any spells? I like that I keep checking his spells. What? Oh, because he's level 8 now. He got a new spell. That's exciting.

He's got some more magic. The magic. The magic boy. The magic. It's the magic. Magic. It's the magic. Cribbit.

What's the best? That it's healing. Might not be worth him using it. No, he's going to save it. Maybe it'll be important. Cribbit is going to fire at the werewolf attacking you, Hector. Oh, sorry. I mean... It takes 12 points of damage.

Oh, nice. He's not so bad with a crossbow, little Kribbit. Yeah. And it's Gorob Lushen's turn. I forget! What is these things weak against? Healing magic, radiant damage. Get another manual.

Fire and lightning, good. Give me five seconds. Lycan, lycan, lycan, werecreature, lichen, fucking hell. Yeah, thunder. Thunder's good. Fire is good, too. Thunder or lightning. No, lightning's going to do shit all.

Hold, too. I'm an idiot. To be continued... D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.