D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia II #7 A Druidic Ambush

Episode Date: June 17, 2023

The party gets a rather unexpected visit in the middle of the night. Gorob and Lushun fail to follow or remember Pip’s very simple instructions while Hecktor refuses to make a deal with his god of death.Want ad-free and even more bonus content? Just check out the Imagination Adventures show page on Apple podcasts! Music by the ever wonderful Lepidora, you can check out her music here. And head to peddlerspress.store to peruse our D&D themed merch store and help support the show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, fool, they've heard this before. Quiet, you dolt. A Wizard Supreme has many things to tell about this nightmare Barovia. Ha ha ha ha ha! Wizard Supreme?

In this place, your pointless titles mean nothing! For the only way to escape is to slay Strahd in the manner of a true warrior! Or die in the attempt! A cadre of blights and up the back, a druid. The druid plants both of her feet squarely on the floor, and she stretches her arms out in front of her. Trees begin to explode out of the ground. Fucking hell. Then for her next trick.

Oh, my God. She then brings her hands to her mouth, looking at you, Hector. Obviously, she knows that you can see her. And she blows, and out of her mouth, a thick, heavy fog begins to obscure everything. No one can see anything unless it is right next to you. Oh, fuck. Or you're, uh, Pip, you know that this does not affect the blights. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good stuff.

They have, uh, they can sense vibrations through the ground. Good stuff. All right. Fuck yeah. All right, that was the druid's turn. All right. Fuck yeah. All right. That was the druid's turn. It is Gorub and Lushen's turn. What is happening?

Hector, it's your turn. I will answer. There's a druid and many, many blights. Can I see any of the blights now? No, you can't see anything unless it's right in front of you. What can get rid of fog? Change in temperature. Kill the druids.

No. All right. I might just ready my action. The moment that I can see a blight enter my field of vision, I'll fire off two Eldrick Blasts. Everyone hears echoing it's like the trees themselves are making this noise. The trees shudder all

around you and then the wind makes this noise. It's unsettling. Needles get fired at you. Through the fog Oh god damn it Hector one of the needles pierces your sternum

You take 8 points of damage And myself Is there a needle to the sternum In that big bag for me Adam Elaniel is also Oh no pray for a low number Is there a needle to the sternum in that big bag for me, Adam? Eleniel is also... Oh, no, I pray for a low number. Oh, God. Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.

Damn it! Internal bleeding. You take a D6 damage at the beginning of your turn for the next one D6 turns. For the next... Oh, only one. That's not so bad. That's not so bad. That's not so bad.

She takes six points of damage. Okay. Okay. You just hear Eleniel make like a grunting noise. And then finally, just to really drive home how in trouble you are, Hector, you'll take another one. Yeah, that's a hit. Hector, you take another seven points of damage. Cool.

Great to hear. Okay. All right. Yeah, wow. Yeah, all right. This is fine. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then, as if that was not bad enough, exploding through the fog, you hear... exploding through the fog you hear something sprinting something small lanky sprinting through the fog neither of you see what's happening

you may be actually I suppose every now and then you can see like a shape moving in the fog but heck none of them get close enough for you for your radiate attack someone hears Kribbitz scream moving in the fog, but Hector, none of them get close enough for your radiant attack. Someone hears Kribbitz scream. Uh-oh. And then, Pip, it's your turn.

I'm going to make a little grenade. I squat down in the mist, and I pull out a garnet for increased area of effect. I then get some hounding Killahands for cold damage, and I infuse the gauntlet with that, and then I dip it in some Treant Poison for plant bane. My intent here is to make something that's going to do a lot of cold damage in a wide area, but only affect plants.

Okay. All right. If you're sacrificing... All right. If you're sacrificing... Okay. All right. If you're sacrificing the

poison to trees effect for infusing it with coal damage that only affects trees, I'll allow that Alright, sweet. This will not affect anything other than a plant. Yeah, that's fine I'm just trying to get rid of the blight mass, that's all If it doesn't hurt the druids, who cares? Druid. Druid

You hear a lineal cursing in Elvish and then you hear a clattering of wood falling, and then the shink of Elaniel drawing short swords. Hell yeah. And then the sound of metal upon wood. It's Kribbit's turn. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.

Funk. It's just funny to hear over the spooky whispering and miss. Chunk. Chunk. Chunk. Chunk. Chunk. Chunk.

Chunk. Chunk. At first, you just hear it, but then you start getting pelted with pieces of hail. It comes down hard, thick, and heavy. On each of your turns, you're going to need to make a dexterity saving throw or be knocked prone. Oh, fucking hell. Okay. The fucking druid's fighting with weather.

Jesus Christ. All right. Cool. Korub and Lushen. You hear them crying out. And then in the darkness, burning hands! All right.

They're fighting. Yeah. How well they're doing, who knows? We don't know. It's Hector, your turn. All right. Just all around you every now and then. I know where the druid was, yeah?

Yeah, you know which direction to charge. Run. Hell yeah, hell yeah. You start running. As you run, something out of the darkness swings at you. Wow, yeah, whatever. You got no choice. You get running. As you run, something out of the darkness swings at you. Well, yeah, whatever. You got no choice. You get hit.

You take four points of damage. And you need to make a constitution-saving throw. Uh-oh. All right. Did I fail? You don't know. What happens to me? Nothing happens?

Nothing happens immediately. If you've got the fucking poison. And then, Hector, I've got some simply awful news. Okay, Adam. You bump into a tree. You're looking at a wall of trees. You're lost. God damn it.

Oh, no. God damn it. Oh, no. God damn it. You were so certain you were running in the right direction. You don't know if the terrain has changed or if maybe you just ran in the wrong direction. Can I see anything around me? As in, like, can I see any, like, blights or anything like that?

You see the trees, but no blights. Not right now. You could try to head in. You've got more movement left. You didn't get very far. You could turn around and try to go after the blight that swung at you, maybe, if it's still there. Got any AoE spells? Can I think if I could

climb the tree? They're big. It's like a full-grown pine tree. I'll use some of my movement to try and get somewhere else. Alright, yep. You burst through some fog. One of the large, tall, standing blights appears before you.

It turns around, and they have faces, but they're fixed. They don't move. So its face turns to look at you, and without eyes, it registers that you're there. Okay, I will attack it twice with my mace. Okay. You charging this with anything? That's a miss. Miss.

I guess not. Well, that was your turn The blight turns to you And with like a flex It becomes covered in needles It just launches itself at you Uh oh So I guess we're dealing with some needle blights And some poison blights

It misses you I assume you have your shield maybe at hand You bring the shield Needles punct bring the shield. Needles puncture the shield, but none of them puncture you. That's good. Pip. Oh, God.

Pray for a low number. I pray for a low number. Oh, no, that's the lowest number possible. That's a one, baby. That's a one. That's got to be good. That's the worst critical hit it could have gotten. Fuck. that's gotta be good that's the worst critical hit it could have gotten it can't get any worse than this Adam

your expression does not fill me with confidence all fun and games roll a d100 on a 2 or less you are blinded in one eye

alright it's just a regular hit. Woo! That's not good for an archer to be blind in one eye. You take three points of damage. That's alright, that's fine. You hear Gorob and Lushen calling out in pain.

Fuck, Gorob. He's tough. He's full of barbarian rage He'll be fine We'll be fine No Adam Shut up Krippet He's the heart and soul of this party

He's the heart and soul of the party Adam He's the heart and All of the party This is what you gotta say in the cities man Pip it's your turn I bring up the grenade and I just hurl it into the ground In front of you? Can I tell I guess actually before this

That there's others fighting around me Yeah you can hear a combat around you As you exploded into the ground around you You can see Frost stretching out from your feet. Hector, you hear something rapidly freezing in a direction. It doesn't come close enough to reach you, but you hear Gorub and Lushen call out,

Now what is this? Fire! Fire is next! Call them fire! We had this conversation at the bridge. That was Pip. Eleniel's turn. You hear Eleniel doing her whirling dervish thing in the fog somewhere. And then it is Kribbit's turn.

You hear a bolt. Hector, you're too far for this. It is Kribbit's turn. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba-twang. You hear a bolt. Hector, you're too far for this. But Pip, you hear it fired from the ground straight up. Oh, okay. That's interesting because I was stressed because I'm like, he's only got the crossbow left. But maybe not.

Or he's lost his mind. Or potentially he's on the ground firing up into something on top of him and missed it's the druid's turn what else can it do fuck this cunt's powerful yeah dude

well actually that you've seen but a moment oh fuck I keep forgetting I'm supposed to be rolling for all of you to stay upright gotcha yeah alright, well that's the druid's turn it's Gorob and Lushen's turn FIRE! DID YOU SAY FIRE?

um okay, what's the most fire they can do? that's the most fire they can do? That's the most fire they can do That's a lot of fire That's good That's good That's what we need

We need a lot of fire right now And I'm resistant And everyone else Oh no Fire bathes the area Good thing you're resistant Because you fail this check Otherwise

You take Eight points of fire damage Hector Uh, good thing you're resistant, because you fail this check otherwise. You take eight points of fire damage, Hector. Oh, Hector. Sorry, Pip. Sorry, Pip. You take eight points of fire damage, because you're resistant. Pip, you see as one of the blights, on fire, half frozen, falls dead at your feet. Fuck yeah. You can hear, that's probably not the only thing they hit, though.

Yeah, okay. You just don't know how well the fight, or poorly, the fight is going around you. And then it is, that was Gorob Lushen. Oh. Curse this fog. It's you, Hoth, my brother in Christ.

You put the fog here You hear Gorob screaming Probably not in a barbarian rage necessarily But certainly in a rage Hector it's your turn One blight is in front of you Now making that dexterity saving throw Is it on the starter or end of my turn?

It's right now A piece of hail smacks you in the head. The next thing you realize you're standing. Sorry, the needle, the blight is standing. Well, it's a needle blight. It's standing above you. Getting up is my complete turn, right? No, it is.

50% of your movement? Yeah, in 3.5 this would be a lot more incapacitating. It just makes it harder for you to get around. Yeah, it's half your movement to stand up. Okay, so I can still get up and say attack. Yeah. That's nice. That's nice.

Hit, hit. Nice, nice. Is this magical in any way? It just has the charisma. Okay, so it's not magical? No. Well, you do 19 points of damage. That's something.

Well, yeah, but how did Adam say that damage? Yeah. That's some quotation marks on that damage. But the blight is bloodied. Hey. Oh, okay. It's the blight's turn. You hear that.

God. The needle blight. Yeah, okay. It's the blight's turn. You hear that. God. The needle blight. Yeah, it gets you. The needle blight slams into you with its many, many, many spines. You take nine points of damage. That's great news, Adam. I have a card here, Zamit. Receive half damage from one attack.

You let me know if you need this. Okay. I'll put this between us here at the table. You let me know if that's for you. Something slams into your back. It'll be a fucking wolf, guaranteed. You get hit. You take only two points of damage,

and you need to make a constitution saving throw. Maybe I don't know what's going on. Zamit, I got a card here. It's sturdy as a dwarf. You reroll a constitution-based check with advantage. I'm just't know what's going on. Zamit, I got a card here. It's sturdy as a dwarf. You reroll a constitution-based check with advantage. I'm just going to put that between us. I'm letting you know you failed this check. You want to roll that.

Okay, maybe I'll roll that one. Otherwise, you'll die at the next full moon. You don't want to be poisoned. You'll shit your guts out, and that'll be the best part. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. I don't want to die by shitting my guts out. Yeah, it's really a bad way to go. That's genuinely the best part as well. That's when you die. That's the nicest part. What's hit me? That'll be a poison blade.

Yeah, a poison blade. Imagine like a dog but it's one of these things. One of these cunts. Kill that. Get needled in the back all you can. Who cares? Make sure the poison blade dies or we'll all be shitting our guts out come full moon.

Pip. A needle shoots you in the fucking shoulder. Yeah. You take seven points of damage. That's all right. I'll be fine. You're on 27 hit points. Ow.

Significantly better than Hector's 19. And Pip, it's your turn. Okay, I would like to turn around and bathe that one in fire. Oh, that's a death. Oh, wait. What one? The needle blight. They're just needle blight.

No, they're firing at range. Oh, right. They can see you. You can't see them. Can I determine a direction where one might be? All right. I'm going to pull a Hector and try and head in that direction. Alright, you meet it. Thank Christ.

Uh, Pip! Sorry, Hector, you are bathed in flames. Oh, fuck. God damn it. Oh! So is the needle blight in front of you, though? Oh my god, sorry!

I just raised my hand. It's fine. Oh my god, sorry. I just raised my hand. It's fine. Oh my god. Oh my god. Alright, so you unfortunately you fail the save and throw. You rolled a one, but so do both needle blights that you hit. Okay. And, alright, both

needle blights go down. How much damage does Hector take? Hector, you take nine, twelve points of damage. Do you want a half of it? Nah. Okay. How much damage does Hector take? Hector, you take... It's a 9. 12 points of damage. You want to have it? Nah. Okay.

All right. Seven hit points it is. You're playing a dangerous game there, Hector, but all right. Okay. Cool. You hear Eleniel call out from somewhere in the fog. Lift it up! Lift it up or I'll fire!

Lift what up? What? Oh, the poison blight, I guess? Funk, funk, funk, funk, funk! What's happening over there? Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, long ago of Kruppet getting an axe full in his head out of my head. I think it's because he's got a frog skin. It feels so much more fucked up. It feels like it might have pulled it on either side a little bit. Embedded and just kind of like... Like it didn't break skin. Yeah.

Or like if you did it, his skin is so loosely on his body it would have all just slopped off like a coat. That's the feeling. You don't want to slop off Kruppet. No. He's already pretty sloppy. He's already slopped up to high heaven. Odds or evens, Hector?

Let's go with evens. Evens? Pip. Yeah? Exploding out of the darkness, the druid. Okay, alright. She wields in her hand a sickle. You can see that the sickle is at first you think it's just a regular sickle, but then you realize it's made out of a black ice

oh that's cool that's fucked up hit and a critical miss pray for a high number I'm too bad at praying the gods do not favor you voided warranty your weapons damage reduced by one half

unfortunately the first hit does still hit I'd like to riposte on the miss oh so you get to attack back Weapons damage reduced by one half. Unfortunately, the first hit does still hit. I'd like to riposte on the miss. All right. Oh, so you get to attack back. Yeah. All right. Well, let me do her damage first because she might kill you.

Okay. That's important to know. That's important to know whether or not I'm fucking dead. Four piercing damage. That's all right. You're lucky. This is not much. Four piercing damage, three cold damage for a total of seven points of damage.

That's fine. You're only on 20. I would have killed Hector, but Pip stands tall. And then you riposte. Twang. Oh, can you riposte with a ranged weapon? I think so. From memory, it's just if I get attacked.

I mean, you can check if you want, just in case I've made a mistake. I'll check later. Okay. And I'll punish you. That's fair. You knock her scythe aside and then at close range you fire dead into her chest with the crossbow. You damage

her for seven points. Nice. And that is her turn. Then it is Gorub and Lushen's turn. Where are they? Where? Hector, it's her turn. Then it is Gorub and Lushen's turn. Where are they? Where? Hector, it's your turn. So the poison blight, is that... It's still behind you. It's still behind me? Okay.

What should I... I'll be pointing at the point. Kill that! Kill that! Kill that! Okay, okay, okay. It really feels like Pip's seen somebody die by a poison blight at some point in his life. He doesn't want to see it again. Force or Radiant.

Up to you. Call it Hector's Delight and you can choose. Sacred Flame. All right, you burn the poison blight to a crisp. It is destroyed. I can only make melee weapon attacks back. Yeah, I thought so. It's alright. Well, I'll punish you

at some point in the future. Oh, that's not fair. That's annoying. Here, you know what? Here's the punishment. Well, there's your problem. Something useful to the player breaks. Yeah. Knocking aside the scythe, unstrung your heavy crossbow.

Should never have brought it up. Why did I look it up? Yeah. Well, you were, well, you shouldn't have brought it up. What are you talking about? I knew. I wasn't asking.

I was telling. Yeah, you knew. You looked it up and I would, just so that you knew. Yeah. Repulsed with a fucking crossbow. Anyway, Pip, you can see that the druid, her mouth is moving and you can tell that that is where the whispers. Well, the whispers come from all around, but you know that it's corresponding to her moving her lips.

She is making a whispering noise. Cool. And it's your turn. Innovating breath. Realizing my crossbow is making a whispering noise. Cool. And it's your turn. Innovating breath. Realizing my crossbow is fucked for the moment. She fails. What does that do again? Incapacitates her. Then it is Elaniel's turn.

And then it is Kribbit's turn. Oh god, what's happening to Kribbit? You hear vomiting. The druid staggers backwards into the mist. You can still see her, Pip. You can't see her, Hector. She's not

angled right for you. But yeah, you can see that you have incapacitated her. That's good, that's good. So what does that mean? It means that she's just unable to do anything. It's Gorub and L, that's good. Okay, so what does that mean? It means that she's just unable to do anything, basically, yeah. It's Gorub and Lushen's turn. And Hector, it's your turn. I saw where the druid went to.

You haven't seen the druid at all. Right. When she was attacking, you and Pip are near each other, but you're far enough away that the druid is not visible to you. And Pip isn't really visible either. Alright, well, I'll... You just saw fire, to be honest. are near each other, but you're far enough away that the druid is not visible to you. And Pip isn't really visible either. You just saw fire. To be honest. I did hear Pip call out.

Sorry. It's nice. I'll walk towards... Oh, I guess Pip... No, you were pointing out the poison blight, which you shouldn't have been able to see. But because I've already punished you once, I'm not going to punish you subsequently. You're so kind. But because I've already punished you once, I'm not going to punish you subsequently. Okay.

So, yeah. You're so kind. You can see each other, but that's about it right now. Yeah, I am. I'm pretty kind. I'll walk towards Pip. Well, if you approach Pip, you can now see the druid. All right.

You can see she's staggering backwards. Something's wrong with her. Can I go in and stay where I am? And I am gonna Sacred Flame. Hell yeah. She makes the saving throw, alas. Aw. Rude. You fire holy flames at her, but she, with her hand, brings a gust of air which knocks your flames aside. Was there anything else

Hector? No. Pip? I would like to take a couple steps toward her and use my last breath to set her on fire. She would fail the saving throw but here's your other punishment. Legendary resistance. Turn a failed saving throw into a successful one. Fuck. So she just

takes half damage from this. That's still pretty good. Anything else? No. Alright. Was that your last breath? Yeah. Fuck. So she just takes half damage from this. That's still pretty good. Anything else? No. Alright. Was that your last breath? Yeah. Cool. It's Elaniel's turn.

You just hear quiet. It's Kribbit's turn. I don't like that we just hear quiet. I don't like that we hear that either. It's the druid's turn. She shakes her head and she seems to be back in it.

Oh, hang on. You fucking forgotten. You need a fucking roll to stay standing. Maybe we should punish you. What do you think about that? No, I am being punished. This is my punishment. I'm being unfairly punished.

Is that concentration stuff? Oh, that one is concentration, but everything else she's done is not. Okay. being unfairly punished. Is that concentration stuff? Like the, you know... Oh, that one is concentration, but everything else she's done is not. Okay. Well, surely she's no longer concentrating when she's enervated. I don't know if that...

There's no rule for that. She just makes a check. Getting attacked is like... Getting set on fire. I actually think, from memory, in the DMG it says that the DM... Other than damage, the DM gets to decide if it counts.

I would say that it does count, though. Okay, that's good. Whatever, she failed the saving throw, then. Just, the hail stops. One less thing to think about. She turns into a bear. Whoa! One new thing to think about.

And she's going to claw at you first, Hector. Oh, no. That will be a miss. Okay. She uses her other claw. That'll be a miss. And then she bites you. Shield, shield, shield, shield. Shield. Okay. How much extra armor class does shield give you? No, no, no, no. Oh, you bring your shield up.

Oh, I thought you were casting the shield spell. Oh, then, yeah, no, you're fucked. Your shield shatters as she lands atop you and bites your fucking head when you say shatters yeah oh i mean shatters you've destroyed my shield yeah you're you have to give a fucking bad boy card to break his thing. It still functions as a shield. It's just broken and splintered a bit. It still functions like a shield.

It had a nice, pretty picture on it. A lot of emotional significance. Now you ruined it. You wrecked it. You wrecked it. Good job. Good job. Thoroughly fucked, but still works.

You wrecked my shield. I think this is the more important part You take 21 points of damage I'd have that but it would do nothing for you Hector everything goes dark And then it is Hector your turn Can you make a death saving throw Do you still have one fail

Yeah good In that rule Good shit lollipop Good stuff Do you still have one fail? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that rule. And that's just sick. Good stuff. That was a two. That's another fail. Three fails. How many successes?

Vilge. Cool. And Pip, it's your turn. I'd like to get down. How about that? Hector's dying. Can I try and stabilize Hector? Yeah. We're in the same place. That's an action, though. Yeah, I know. That's fine. You failed to stabilize Hector.

Fuck. Wait. I would like to roll the skill... Is it a skill check? It is. With advantage. Alright, cool. Good boy card. Good boy card. Good boy card. Good boy card. Um... Come on, dude. Uh, wow. Just one off. Do you have anything else? Do you have anything to give you a plus one or something? Come on now, dude Wow One off Do you have anything else? Do you have anything to give you a plus one or something?

You got nine, you need ten I got nothing Alright, I'm sorry, buddy That's okay I tried You did your best I did Okay

Elaniel Highs or lows? Highs Yeah, okay Kribbit. It's the druid's turn. He's still chundering. I'm about to get bared in the back of my head.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a bear in there. Okay, okay, okay. Hit. You take eight points of damage. Okay. Other claw. Miss. All right, that's good of damage. Okay. Other claw. Miss.

All right, that's good. Bite. Miss. All right. The bear hits you mightily with one of its paws, and you go sprawling ten feet away. And it's Gorob Lushen, highs or lows? Highs.

That's a good sign. That's a good sign. That's something. The bear cries out in pain. It's a good sign. That's a good sign. That's something. The bear cries out in pain. It's a great sign. Hey. You see in the mist, you got knocked so far away you can't see what's happening. You could just see where the bear was as a bunch of magical bolts strike where the bear was.

You hear cries of bear pain. All right. And then it is Hector. Can you make another saving throw, please? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, of course, of course. Okay, that's good. That's a 16. That's great.

Hector, you are in that never, never space in between life and death. Every now and then, kind of like come to... You can't... You don't... You're so weak you can't feel yourself. You feel no energy within you.

You can't grip a weapon. You can't do anything. You hear in this space as the bear stands over you. And you can just fuzzily make out the bear. And some figure fighting with it. You hear a voice in the back of your mind say, Shall we make

a deal? A life for a life. Kind of drearily, maybe like half kind of like almost unconscious. No. I am not dead yet. I turn around.

I turn away. All right. And then it is Pip, your turn. Okay. Hector's not going to have moved, right? Not to your knowledge. Okay. And I can hear Gorub and Lushen just fucking wailing.

Gorub and Lushen wailing wailing. Garum and Lushen wailing. Did you say Garum? I'm slurring it. Wailing on the bear, so I'm gonna rush to where I think Hector is. You sprint to get around behind the bear to find Hector and to find just a bear patch of grass.

Shit. You don't know if you're lost or if Hector has moved. Have I used all my movement to get there? No, you haven't. I'm going to keep searching. You get as close to the bear as you dare get. Yeah. And your heart sinks. You realize you have found Hector, but he is so much closer to the bear than you realize.

You can get to Hector, but you'll be next to the bear. My crossbow is just not working right now, yeah? It's unstrung. You'll need to restrain it. That's going to take a minute. Yeah, okay. It's not happening. All right.

This is a problem of having one weapon and no other options. Do I have any spells? I'm going to cast Cordon of Arrows. Don't you need for cordon of arrows I need bolts only bolts? four or more arrows or bolts it takes one action so I

do you have spells? I don't have spells left I've not used a single spell I've used cordon of arrows once that's fucked up that's fucked up you have spells all my spells are like real cause I tried to make them like less obviously magical

so they're like detect magic detect poison hunt is mock pass without trace protection from poison I'm really worried about poison

and then cord nevarez but that's my last second level spell gone alright well that'll affect it on it's turn okay

and that will oh anything else Pip? no that's my last second level spell gone. Well, that'll affect it on its turn. Okay. And that will... Oh, anything else, Pip? No, that's it. All right. It is Elaniel's turn. Highs or lows? Highs. I don't like that I don't know what's happening to Elaniel.

All right. And, Kribbit, the retching sound stops. That's good. It's the druid's turn. Is it? Is it? Yeah, he fires an arrow up. That's a good sign, Jack. Is it?

Maybe I'm stupid. Ha ha ha. Gorob and Lushen take 20 points of damage. Oh, dear. Boom! A terrific explosive sound comes from the bear It does not seem like the bear was responsible for it

The bear certainly seems more in pain than happy about this noise Alright 31, 35 points of damage Fuck The bear transforms back into a person Alright, man That's something They got no fucking claw attacks now.

Hector? Hello. Hello, good friends. 19. All right. Two successful, two failed. Writing a knife search. And Pip, it's your turn.

Okay. What am I going to do? I'm out of breath weapons. I'm out of... I can't fire my crossbow. Okay, I'm going to run towards Hector and try and stabilize him. Okay.

You stabilize Hector. There we go. Good. Thank Christ. You just tear off a part of your jacket, maybe, and you stuff it into any hole you can find. Thank you. It's crazy that works.

And probably, yes, is more elaborate than just stuffing into holes. Stuffing filthy cloth in a wound. My mouth! My mouth! Plug me up! Wrong hole! No, I'm not bleeding from that one. And, well, that's your action, Pip.

Do you have anything else you want to do? No, thank you. It's Elaniel's turn. Highs or lows? Highs. Oh, lows. Let's go lows. Let's go lows.

Elaniel is standing behind you, Pip. She just appears, basically. That's good. You can see she's got her two swords in her hands. She's covered in blood, both hers and also... Well, it's not blood, actually. She's covered in blood and sap that you know has occurred from fighting blights. She charges at the druid from behind, attacking from the other side.

Miss, miss, miss. She doesn't do so well with her swords. she doesn't do so well with her swords but she does manage to give Gorrub and Lushen maybe a better opening for their combo it's Kribbit's turn it's the druid's turn arrows go off

yes correct when they end the druid takes 2 points of damage it's not, the druid ain't moving the druid swings 2 points of damage. It's not. The druid ain't moving. Yeah, hell yeah. All right. The druid swings with that black icicle, and they're going to attack Gorub Lushen, but you can see they're quite clearly worried about Eleniel behind them.

Gorub and Lushen take a total of 14 points of damage. Okay. That's, look. I'm not. They're very strong boys. Gorub and Lushen with a dozen small nicks and cuts and bruises upon them look like they are slowing down. Okay. It's Gorub and Lushen's turn.

Lushen slaps Gorub in the face. Gorub screams at him and then Lushen grabs that scream, drags it and throws it into the sword. The sword shimmers with magical energy and then when Gaurav swings it makes that deafening boom again. Like lightning. That's such a dream team. You know? The druid is bloodied.

Alright. Fucking hell they are. Oh my. Hector. Oh you're stable never mind nothing's happening for you so this is a home rule hector but if you get a 20 keep rolling and if you get a 20 i'll give you one hit point but there's no penalty anymore not a 20 no not a 20 yeah distinctly not a 20 would have been a fail yeah uh okay i with maybe just like flicking my crossbow i mean i guess my crossbows were already in my back. So I'm going to pull out a bolt and just stab the druid with the bolt.

Okay. Didn't you have a mace at one point you hit? I think I left the mace back on. I'll say that does a D2 damage. All right. One or two damage, baby. One point. Okay.

So one plus your strength, your strength being three, four points of damage. You stab the druid in the back. Two attacks, don't you? I got two attacks, yeah. Oh, yeah, she'll bring it out and shank it again. Second attack's a hit. Hey! That's two points of damage.

Hell yeah. Five damage. This would be a fucking awesome thing to get a critical. Interesting. All right, the druid is slowing down, but she's not even close to dead yet. Then it is... That was Pip. It's Elaniel's turn.

Elaniel swings with her two short swords. Hit, hit, miss. Alright. The druid's getting a bit fucked up. It's Kribbit's turn. It's the druid's turn. I really don't like that, man. That stresses me out. The druid's turn like that man that stresses me out the druid

begins transforming again but instead of getting big as a bear they get small as a let's say like a uh oh wow would either of your characters all right how accustomed are either of your characters to a mole not at all would not have a clue Is there a place in the world where moles are common? Probably Kandor, the southern continent. Yeah, would they be a pest for farming, basically? Yeah. I'm unconscious. Oh, yeah, true.

Pip's traveled around to all kinds of places from the loftiest kingdoms to the smallest farmlands. When the druid transforms into a mole, they begin borrowing down. You lose them in the earth. Fuck. And then it is Gorub and Lushen's turn. Gorub and Lushen stand over the hole. What can they do?

This is so funny if you kill them down there. Yeah. Send flame down the hole, I say to them. Oh, we'll send something down the hole. Lushen sticks his hand down and he screams, magic missile. That's a great spell to fucking kill a mole with. Three, seven, eight. Just to explode, turn back into a human.

I need to quickly check how many hit points a mole has. Yeah, because also, aren't they going to get crushing damage being underground? Explode like a little mound, like poof. Yeah. That cannot be good for the human body, dude. Yeah, actually, you're right. That would definitely be enough damage to revert them from mole form. So either the magic missile is enough to kill them or when they are forced from mole form to human form.

Either way, Gorob and Lushen stand back and a fountain, a geyser of blood explodes out of the hole and lands all around. That was a decidedly stupid move on the part of the druid. It's happened twice now. They couldn't transform into a flying creature. Once they turn into

like an ant or whatever, they just step on them. It's very funny. Every druid thinks that their solution is to get tiny. They're clever. Yeah.

All right. Well, anyway, that's combat over. Does the mist dissip Yeah. All right. Well, anyway, that's combat over. Does the mist dissipate? The mist... Actually, yeah, it would all... Well, sorry. The trees disappear, but the fog is actually just fog,

so it needs to dissipate over time. Like naturally? Yeah. Okay. It will. It'll just take a while. I'd like to go and look for Kribbit. All right. I will roll until I get a 20.

Well, stop. Don't worry about rolling. Now that we're no longer in combat, you will eventually... One more time. He's got the gamblers. The gamblers. You find Kribbit. Elaniel actually, maybe, no. Elaniel

grabs you, Pip, and says, this way. And she leads you through the fog. How she knows where she's going. Yeah, who can say? Who can say? But she leads you to Kribbit's broken, twisted form. Oh, no. You can see black lines, black veins crisscross all around from his neck,

up into his head, and down into his body. Kribbit is very poisoned. Okay. Well, make sure he's not dying. And when is the next full moon? Well, it would probably be... Barovia works a little differently. The full moon has happened recently,

but it could be as... It could happen as soon as tonight. It could happen... Yeah. Well, it won't happen tonight, so you've got at least a night. Yeah, that's good. But it could be within the next week or so.

It's happened so often that I've had to make potions of curing. I make potions of hurting. All right, I'm going to go to... Is our camp still here? Yeah. All right, I'm going to make my way through the fog to my tent or my bedroll, and I'm going to get on my alchemical kit and try and come up with some concoction that might cure it because from memory emmanuel and his

infinite wisdom provides no clues what are you going to use to cure it yeah good while said toxin will not harm the victim immediately in in fact, said unwilling person shall appear to have been unaffected at first. I looked down too crooked. All right, Emmanuel. Instead, the venom shall strike at first moon after being pokedeth. Upon said moon, victims will fall apart as their openings become more so and blood seeps forth. Okay, so I'm thinking plant vein?

Maybe some tree poison? Sure. It is a plant that has caused the poison. You are creating, we've established this previously, you are creating what Emmanuel refers to as a strained potion. Yep. In that you are stretching the definition of certain words. Okay, so, okay.

Fuck. Goddammit, I've used up my quaggoth veins. A creeping vine. Is that the kind of thing I could search for? You could have a look around here and see what was left over. Yeah, maybe I will. Maybe I'll have a look around.

Because that would be nice. That's immunity to poison, so that would be pretty useful right now. Am I conscious? Or am I still just like... I would poison, so that would be pretty useful right now. Am I conscious? Or am I still just like... I would say, so the roll a d20 and get a hit point thing is something that I offer during combat really, not during personal

moments. But I will say that if you're stabilized, someone can drag you up against a tree, and you can just sit at the tree, and you can converse with people, but I would say that you are incapacitated. Okay, No worries. Well, maybe just to ask Gorub and Lushen, did Druid dead? They not.

Gorub says, well, I should certainly hope so. If they're not dead, they're in quite a lot of pain. Lushen slaps him. Don't joke at a time like this. The little frog man is dead. What? No, he's not dead. He's not dead.

He's not dead. He's just very, very sick. You and Eleniel search for equipment. You find four doses of Kuatel eggshells. This is maybe in the druid as well. You search through their pouches and stuff like that. Okay. And yeah, actually, I would say the druid is a bit of a wealth of items.

You find four doses of ectobloom. Fuck yeah. One dose of fire skull flame. Oh, that's good too. Fire skull flame is fire damage. I've got nothing else that does fire damage. So it's nice for for lichen hide doses all right one screeching mist god i'm getting rich off this druid three

essence of piercer oh i haven't got that yet ooh seeks user ooh seeks user four shambling moss holy shit two beholder dreams it's a plan but it's very shit. Two beholder dreams. It's a plan, but it's very funny. Just a beholder's dreams seeping out of the druid. Yeah. And one raven feather. A beholder's dreams are said to be actually the dreams of a beholder that just like coalesce. That rolls.

If enough beholder dreams just appear in one area, they become like a thick thing that you can actually harvest. That's awesome. That rolls. If enough beholder dreams just appear in one area, they become like a thick thing that you can actually harvest. That's awesome. All right. After searching the druid, I would like to combine a coital eggshell. Coital. Coital?

Coital? Coital. Coital. Coital. Coital. Coital. I would like to combine a coatl eggshell for the healing property, Treant poison for the plant bane,

and then... I'm going to add something else. All right, it's a magical poison, yeah? Yes. Okay, I'm going to sacrifice my Formian Eye, which is a shame because it's so useful, and I'm going to sacrifice the Formian Eye, which is a shame because it's so useful, and I'm going to sacrifice the formian eye for deforming magic.

Oh, good boy card. Yeah! All right. What is it? The DM must lay out the best possible phrasing for you when talking with an NPC. That's useful for Pip. Bribe the DM. Give me that card.

No, actually, no, that's dumb. I don't want that. Yes! Nearly tricked me. Nearly tricked yourself. Nearly tricked yourself. Nearly tricked me. Yeah, you concoct a... Crack the coat leg in there.

Despite the fact that this is, as I said, a strange potion and it's a higher difficulty class to create, you are very confident you got it right. All right. I go over. I grab Kribbit's big head. I open his mouth and I pour the potion in. Almost immediately, Kribbit. You all right there, buddy?

This one saw many things. Yeah, yeah. What is that? He says pointing to the poison blight? It's called a poison blight, Kribbit. Um, and it's... Lucky we cured you of its poisoning. Poison? Kribbit immune to poison.

Oh. You know a racial immunity wouldn't count on a magical poison. It's a magical poison, Kribbit. And a pretty bad one at that. So, uh, yeah. Look, I mean... If something poisons you, expect to be poisoned. Kribbit hate that. Yeah.

There's been a lot of horrible realizations for Kribbit recently. Kribbit get eaten by so many things in Barovia. Yeah, well. Better to stay in Valakai. Well, that would kill me if we did, so. Also not where story is. Yeah, well, yeah, Kribbit. Kribbit will die for this if need be, he says holding up his book.

All right, we. No, he's good. Kribbit heard all the great artists, only popular after death. Piff just like pats Kribbit on the top of the head. Whatever. Kribbit's fixed, that's enoughats Kribbit on the top of the head. Whatever. Kribbit's fixed. That's enough. Kribbit live forever

in story. We need sleep. We need to rest. Let's all I mean maybe it's worth moving the campsite a little bit out of this damned fog.

Sure. And then trying to sleep again. You move the campsite set everything up again. It's about 10 p.m. Okay. And then who's taking second watch?

Well, me and Krivit, I guess. Well, you've got Gorob and Lushen if you want. Maybe me and Gorob and Lushen, much to my chagrin, because I don't want to hear them talking. But Krivit needs his rest. Thirteen. The rest of the night goes by uneventfully. Good stuff.

All right. Well, everyone gets a short rest. Yes. Yay. Love a short rest. Corbin Lusher are on 24 hit points out of 107. Jesus Christ. And it's three days left? This is the fourth day.

Ah. Yes, we've got three days left? This is the fourth day. We've got three days left. And how far away are we from Wizards of Wine? You are at about, I would say, maybe the halfway point. Okay, cool. So we're not going to arrive there today. No. So considering I was on zero, and I have zero dice left for health, why am I on one?. I'm on one.

I'm still on zero. What happened? Well, Krivit can play you his song. Yeah. Oh, sorry. That's right. Right? You get like seven or something.

Everyone recovers seven hit points. That's pretty good. That was a good guess. Wow, weird. All right. Okay. Okay. I know I can cast some Cure Wounds.

I just... Then it's me done. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. You still have Cure Wounds left. My God. That's not where I want them from. Oh, I just, then it's me done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy you still have cure wounds left. My god. That's not where I want them from. Oh, I see.

These are punished cure wounds. Punished cure wounds. I hear you. Pip, you have two dice left to roll. I'll roll them. Might as well roll both of them. I mean, like, it's not like, it's not like you're reaching full hit points.

No, exactly. You recover 13 hit points. That's not so bad. 13 puts you on 32 hit points. Okay. Oh, isn't full hit points going to roll? Oh, my God. I'll feel too powerful that I'll burn through it, guaranteed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not just full hit points, but all your spells back. Oh, my God. All the conditions gone. You'll be able to get wings again? In the morning, I'm just going to cast a first level cure wounds on myself. It sucks.

It doesn't feel like healing. It feels like fixing. So it doesn't feel like your wounds are healing over naturally it feels like someone is stitching you back together it works nonetheless you recover

what would that be you recover 7 hit points a little bit sick do you want to get the 1? yeah I'm only going to do the 1 now ok you've got to save that other spell. I would like to combine a Malachite, an Angel Feather, and a Raven Feather.

The Raven Feather is just, look, maybe it'll add to the healing. I don't know, because it does radiant damage. If you wanted to, you could do that as a strained potion, and it would increase the healing effects, but it would increase the difficulty. That's right. I'll do that. And a malachite, because that's also healing. I'm trying to make a big, fat, chunky healing grenade.

You make a chunky healing grenade. Hell yeah. Do I trust that? You have a reasonable level of trust. Okay. I throw it at the ground. All right. Just letting you know that if you make, I guess your idea is to get everyone a bit of trust. Okay. I throw it at the ground. All right. Just letting you know that if you make,

I guess your idea is to get everyone a bit of healing. Yeah. But just letting you know that a potion will always be more potent Yeah, I know.

This is just trying to heal as many people as possible. That's why I made a grenade out of it. Nice little AOE. Yeah, yeah. Everyone heals 11 points of damage.

Hell yeah. We need to go on a hunt for ingredients, I feel. Yeah. I think it might be worthwhile maybe I say this to the whole group, it might be worthwhile spending, and I know time is of the essence, I appreciate that but it might be worthwhile spending maybe

a couple of nights in my shack it's a place I've defended before. I do not think that is time is of the essence, we need to make haste. We can spend a It's a place I've defended before. I do not think that is. Timings of the essence. We need to make haste. We can spend a night when we get there, but we really need to head to the Wizards of Wine.

Who knows? Maybe everything will be fine and you can stay there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think everything will. Yeah. Not at all trapped. No way. Actually, Boris has been hunting us, yes?

Yeah. Do you really think that he would leave your shack unguarded, untrapped? I'm sure it'll be covered in traps. That's no doubt, but at least we'll be aware of them. I would just like to check Pop at the very least. Who is Boris, Eleniel says. Oh, that's not been... I just did to Pip. You explain.

Yeah, like his mortal enemy. Yeah. You named a wolf? Yeah, I know. I named a wolf. I named a wolf. I had a lot of time on my hands. Eleniel shakes her head.

Words have power, Pip. Words have power. Yeah, words have... Yep. That's what people keep telling me. Yeah. I know I shouldn't have named the wolf. You think I don't know that?

Kribbitz stands next to you, Pip, and he puts his hands on his hips like he's defending you. Is better for the story. No, no, Kribbitz, Kribbitz. No, no, no. Eleniel's right. No, back yourself. Is better for the story if you... Yeah.

If that one has a name for nemesis. Tell me more of Boris. Eleniel shakes her head. Absolutely not. Do not have that little man write down stories of your nemesis. I'm not going to. I wasn't about to, I say. Croubit and Elaniel

are very insistent on this. You're siding with Elaniel? Yeah. All right. Kribbit seems upset. Kribbit will remember that. I've not had a person who will remember that

more well. I had one big one. Pip hates Boris. Imagine, imagine when there was no Boris. How happy would Pip be? Of course he sides with Eleniel. So, get traveling.

As you're walking today, at about maybe 11 a.m., it begins raining, and it does not let up for the rest of the day. It's not heavy. It's a light rain. But it's demoralizing. Yeah, it's pretty consistent. Every now and then from the clouds behind you, back where Valakai is,

you can hear and you know that a thunderstorm is occurring behind you. The road also, I imagine, surely gets just disgusting and muddy. Yeah. Slopping through it. I guess, while we were packing up in the morning and getting prepared, could I try to, like, maybe hammer out

some of the dents in the shield? Yeah, you hammer out some of the dents in the shield. It's a bit crumpled and the sigil on it is a little broken up, but you're able to shore up the shield. Well, Dimitri's probably not going to be happy about this one. Kind of, yeah.

More bit of spit and polish. Sure. You reach the Raven River crossroads, and there is a sign here. It points west towards Krezik and the Wizards of Wines. It points east towards Valakai, and there would be an arm pointing. Oh, no, sorry. There is not. Maybe only now on your way back do you realize that this one does not have towards Valakai, and there would be an arm pointing... Oh, no, sorry, there is not. You would...

Maybe only now, on your way back, do you realise that this one does not have something pointing towards Kuturi, but the other crossroads did have a sign pointing towards Kuturi. Okay, all right. Or Butchery, as that other sign said. We'll head to... Yeah, we'll keep following the Kresok road. The road toward Kresok, yeah.

You don't get much further before night sets. If you want, you could push through the night, and you would get to Kresik or to your hut, or you could stop for the night. It's up to you. I mean, traveling at night is always way more dangerous. Traveling at night is, of course, always dangerous, but then again, sleeping in the open road was also very dangerous.

Well, I mean, I guess, look, it's held much of a muchness. We could get to your shack, or we could get to Krezik, but then, once again, we're traveling. How many hours is it to, say, how many hours is it to the Pip shack? How many hours is it to Krezik? It'd be about four hours to Krezik, four and a half hours to the shack. Okay. Okay, and it is...

It's about six right now. And it is raining. Yeah. Yeah. Lightly, but yes. It's probably best if now. And it is raining. Yeah. Yeah. Lightly, but yes. It's probably best if we just keep down travel during the day. I mean, whatever, but... Look, potentially, going to Krezok would be...

Are we allowed back in Krezok? He said if we're staying for one night only, or... I thought he said that... I don't know. I don't know. We'll see, I suppose. Eleniel, maybe she's scouted a little bit ahead

approaches you from ahead and says It's hard to tell these things and very liable to change at night but I think the road ahead

is perhaps clear if we wanted to push on to Krezic I cannot make that a guarantee though she says That is fine Look

I think we should risk it to Krezic That is my vote. Alright. The faster we get to the doctor, the better! Right, yeah. Okay. Alright. We'll travel at night.

Pip's tense. Yeah, see? This is what happens when you travel at night. Look at that expression on his face. The cheeky motherfucker. The cheeky, handsome devil. Up ahead of you, you see a green light bobbing in the darkness. To be continued... Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content,

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