D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia III #12 Descent into Mount Ghakis

Episode Date: April 27, 2024

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At your side. This Friday. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately.

Borderlands. Friday. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Though you see no water for miles around you, you are, like me, nonetheless maroon. We are castaways in this terrible bad dream somebody decided to name Barovia. To switch up the metaphor, we are imprisoned, and the fog is the bars of our cell,

and our jailer is Baron von Strahd. As far as I can tell, there's no way to escape other than possibly by dying. Maybe by being eaten by a wolf, let's say. There is little marks carved over and over and over again in many, many different languages. If you seek honor or power, turn back in many vessels below the darkness shelters, a timeless evil leave now before our damnation becomes yours.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The stairs descend 500 feet into Mount Gakas before finally plateauing out. You don't feel like you're trapped, but you do feel like you're in danger. After that plateau, there is, or on that plateau, is a hallway. A long hallway. On either side are elaborate carvings that depict the construction of

the monastery. Do you have dark vision? I know, Hector, you do. But you know what? Esmeralda does not. I cast light. Actually, no, I summon my spear and cast light on that. You attempt

to summon your spear. Oh, no. Hector, you now realize you reach that. You attempt to summon your spear. Oh, no. Hector, you now realize, you reach out, you cannot feel pennier at all. Any power you get from being a paladin is lost to you. But any power you get from being a warlock is now maximized or rolled with advantage. Oh, boy. You still have hit points and your proficiency bonus and anything like that.

But anything like Divine Sense or Smite, things like that, they are gone to you. Okay. So the spear is a Warlock thing. Yeah. But then we did that as a thing. You can't summon the spear. I can't summon the spear. Yeah. But then we did that as a thing. You can't summon the spear. I can't summon the spear. Okay.

I then grab the mace. Okay. That I got from killing an angel. There's a lot of poetry to that. It hums with energy. And then just cast light on that. You can feel that this mace has become your packed weapon, at least for now. Oh, dear.

It speaks to you. Oh, okay. Kill with me. Let me taste blood. Oh, good to hear that. Good to hear that. Hector, a part of you cannot wait to use this thing. I cast light on it to lead the way.

The light is red, but casts further, twice as far as it might normally. Okay. As I said, there are elaborate carvings on either side of you, depicting the construction of the monastery above you. You see the people of this place mining the stone out of Mount Gacchus to build around the statue which was always there

and always has been. The statue being the one that whispered to you. Cool! Cool, cool, cool. That's the statue from up above. Yeah. It looks like they built the temple around it.

Yeah. That's why it would explain why it was a different material. You see that the monks unearth strange sarcophagi in the mountain, buried in solid stone. The carvings are detailed enough to show not precisely what the material of the sarcophagi are made of, but that they are definitely not the same as the stone

around them. In time, you also begin to see that the monks begin to change as well. The carved monks beginning to take on horrific disfigurements, warped flesh, molded as if it was clay, and visible bones poking through their

flesh. They start wearing heavier and more concealing robes, but the detail in the carvings shows them for what they are. Oh no. So they built a, initially do we see kind of what they were, what kind of, I guess, monastery it was? Or it's just more like, it's like a monastery. You can see what the monastery

once looked like but you don't get the purpose of the monastery still so they've been building a monastery it just happened to be where the sarcophagus is sarcophagi well if they built the monastery around the statue the statue might have been because of the sarcophagi. So who put the sarcophagi here? Someone buried them at some point. As time continues, conflict begins. Then they fought. The monks begin attacking each other. This is all carved in the stone.

Committing unspeakable acts of depravity and cruelty to each other. One such carving that transfix you shows a monk bound to a chair while several others use a hand drill to make holes in their warped body. This is perhaps, is it looking like a flayed god-esque or just something different? This is something else. Some else. So whatever it was, they corrupted and then. Does it look like violence for violence sake? Or is this like, this is a ritual?

Does it look like this is their version of a prayer? Violence, perhaps for violence sake? You're not sure. There's no reason given, just depicted violence. Right. Around here, at around that point, the carvings begin to lose their detail and become more hasty, as if someone were in a great hurry to record this history or done only seconds before the engraver themselves were caught up in the evil. They did this as it happened to them. The very end of the hallway has but one carving, a single surviving monk with malevolent faces bearing down upon them. Him outside.

Old mate back there, yeah. To answer your question, yes, the monk carved here does bear a striking resemblance to the corpse. It's all made from the corpse, yeah. Stop, stop, you know. Distantly from, like I said, the stairs are about 500 metres or go 500 metres up. So you've got a bit of a hike to get back. Distantly from somewhere there, you feel like you can hear the wailing of a thousand damned souls

which you know is the noise of a race does that mean he's loose and moving around or is he maybe just moving around yeah it doesn't sound like getting closer it sounds more like just moving around that just reminded me again what was carved on the wall

many many different scripts again what did it say That just reminds me again, what was carved on the wall? Many, many different scripts again. What did he say? What did he say again? Let's see. They found a statue, a big spooky statue I listened to. Yeah, yeah, true. And they were like, well, this is a perfect place to build a monastery.

This is great, dude. Let's start digging. Let's worship the statue maybe. We started digging. Maybe they were here. We found some evil sarcophagi. That can only be good. You've got to drink that goo. Only be good.

Then they started murdering each other. And transforming. And transforming. Do you want the text again? And then only one remained with the chisel because he was documenting this all as it was happening. And then to keep people away or invite them in. We don't know.

It did sound inviting. Just with this given context what did this what did he say again if you seek honor or power turn back for these walls hold naught but doom in many vessels below the darkness shelters a timeless evil the danger is an infection of malevolent divinity our arrogance and folly forged this place into our prison leave now before our damnation becomes yours so i guess he had a bit of regret yeah yes you might be right can i look down at i'm assuming there's nothing but i look down at my alchemy kit like maybe i could make some kind of tincture that would protect me. And then I get back up again because I'm assuming I have nothing good. You have

no protection from divinity. I have no protection from your ingredients. The damned. Yeah. I'll hoist my pack back on. Oh, by the way, I don't know if we've properly established this. I know I said when you were up on top of the mountain it was called. It has not gotten any warmer

down here. So it is currently around negative 23 Celsius or negative 10 Fahrenheit if you measure, if you're nasty. You have cold weather gear, but it is not enough. Cold weather gear could never protect

you from this. So you will be suffering side effects. I will quickly chickity-check what those side effects are. Okay. But do you have any quick questions about this? I was just going to say, so yeah, I'm cut off from many divine spells. I've already used up. Yes.

Yeah, you went sort of crazy on your little cocaine binge. Oh, yeah. Your Barovian marching powder made you sort of burn through your... I'm already still... I'm trying to see... I still got a bit of a head fog cloud. I'm trying to see if I have anything that'll warm us up. At the end of every hour,

you will need to make a constitution-saving throw. Okay. It starts low. Oh, and it doesn't go up yet. So it's only a DC 10. But every time you fail that saving throw, you gain a level of exhaustion. Neither of you have immunity to cold damage, right? No, sir.

Just necrotic and disease. And if one already has, say, exhaustion. Oh, yeah. Well, it just gets worse, baby. Yeah, so that's a disadvantage to check, yeah. Well, it just gets worse, baby. Yeah, so that's a disadvantage, the check, right? No, it's not saving throws yet. Okay, that's good. Hey, that's something.

No, you need to... When you get to level three of exhaustion, then you start making this check with disadvantage. Another quick question. Yes. So I usually, because of that... Grand A plus five. No, not anymore.

Protection. I'm guessing that's gone? Yeah, that's gone, baby. Is there a visible change in Hector? Yeah, he's not casting light anymore. Oh, yeah. You naturally cast not enough really to see by, but you glow slightly, faintly.

You no longer glow slightly, faintly. And, well, apart from that, Pip, you wouldn't notice much. Maybe a slight sagging of the shoulders, like the weight of the world is leaning a little bit more heavily on Hector. It's so funny to think that the best, the moment that probably Hector felt the best was the moment he stepped into the abattoir. That's true.

That's true. That's when he was at his peak. Looking at him, you wouldn't have noticed this if you hadn't, Pip, you wouldn't have noticed this if you hadn't been closely inspecting Hector right now, but you can see the gap where his thick gauntlet and fur-lined glove, where there's a little gap where it meets the sleeve of his shirt. In between that, you see not wrist, but skeletal... Well, just...

Yeah, you just see bones. Okay. I'll clap a hand on your shoulder and be like, hey, don't lose yourself, buddy. I didn't think I had. I'll try my best. All right. After you.

Let's go. The doors lead you down a series of steps. You descend even further. I try my best. All right. After you. Let's go. The doors lead you down a series of steps. You descend even further. It feels impossible at this point to descend any more than this. You must surely have gone below sea level at this point. God. You can see on either side of you, it's a narrow passageway, single file. You can see on either side of you there are little arrow slits where defenders would fire at

an attacker. There's no one manning the arrow slits right now. And you can gaze through into either room. You see, just as you're passing by, shards of wood covering the floors of frigid rooms, 20 foot square on either side of you.

If this place had defenders, they are no longer here. Are you cold? I'm freezing. Okay. Can we light a torch? Is that even possible? You can light a torch. You have to. Oh, wait, no, you have dark vision.

I've got dark vision and I was casting light from my mace again. It's not the light i'm used to yeah it's a hellish red glow yeah um yeah i don't have dark vision so i you'll need a light um just just for the warmth from the torch yeah that's a good idea it provides barely anything it's the you ever been in a situation where you've been so cold with a fire present that you've wanted to basically put your hand into the fire?

It's that cold. The flames gutter, and it looks like for a moment that they're going to die, but the torch stays lit, barely. It got cold at the orphanage sometimes in the winter. We were kind of up towards one of the poles. And they used to do this thing to us called posture training, where we had to lean up against the abbey with many books on our head in the cold, in the freezing. The abbey is stone, right?

Yeah, the abbey is stone. Your back would be icy, your spine like an icicle. And I remember once Pop got so angry about it, so angry that he had to do it, that in the night he snuck back into the abbey and he punched the abbot in his face while he was sleeping. I suppose he thought that maybe then he would never have to do it again, but instead he had to do it for a month. Anyway, this is worse.

Yeah, right. Now, we had something similar about reciting the difference between devils and demons. Yeah. Something to keep our mind off the cold. Did you get anything out of it? I know the difference

between devils and demons. My spine's straight as an arrow. Esmeralda takes her hands out of her mittens, tucks her mittens into her pockets, brings her now blueish hands together, rubs them a bit and blows in between them. And both of you see sparks and a little bit of flames as she conjures a magical flame to try and make her hands a bit warmer. Thank God I'm not cold-blooded or I'd just be slowing down. I think you are cold-blooded, buddy.

Oh, no. Pip's getting slow, dude. At the end of this little corridor, Pip, you spot it. Well, actually, who's going first? Well, it depends. Maybe me at the front, but then it would, yeah,

it depends on... I'd say Pip, you're probably... And then Esmeralda can bring up the rear. Yeah, it depends on if Esmeralda wants to be running ahead. Well, Esmeralda wants to be running ahead, yes. So I guess it would be Esmeralda. Maybe I'll take up the rear. Esmeralda then points it out. As she exits this little corridor into, I'll get into it in a second,

but there's a little balcony that you walk out onto. She taps on the right-hand side of the end of the corridor, and you can see four scratch marks, tally marks, carved into it, indicating Hardcastle has been here. This is the way, then. Right. Actually, as well, there's a little notation made next to it. Dwarven's script is harsh angles angles because it's often written in stone.

You don't get a lot of curves in Dwarven script. So do you speak, do you know Dwarven? I'm pretty sure I do. You immediately make out it is a cipher that Hardcastle uses. I won't make you roll. You just know this. It is a page indication. You can flip to

Bogman. Okay. Dwarven gibberish? Bog flip to Bogman. Okay. I'm just like, Dwarven Gibberish? Ah, Bogman. Bogman, Bogman, Bogman. I'll flip into Emmanuel and find the page. It's Bogman, the undead, yes, the ones that keep biting us. Yeah.

Bogman's Frenzy? Yes. That's the one. Is there anything about the cipher that, do I think he's effectively just telling me? Yeah, it's just a page reference. Beware, bog men. Yeah. Okay.

So there, yeah. Okay. Yeah, bog men. We fought bog men before. Yes. Yes. There's not a lot of confidence in my voice, because I assume whatever bog men are down here are not so awesome.

Yeah, yeah. So I can't connect to anything from the light. Right. But I can connect from the other place. Heck yeah. That's something intense. Let me tell you, Hector, that's a real shame because, as we know, bog men fucking hate the light. But there's many other ways to take out a bog man.

People have been killing bog men for years without being angel boys, so I'm sure we can figure it out. I'd like to... So what did we have to do again? Is this the ones you switch when we defeat them, you switch their heads? Yeah, you switch their head and their heart, and you bury them. I mean, obviously we're not going to be doing that. And if that doesn't work, we're fucked. You step out

onto the balcony. Esmeralda stands by the railing of the balcony and the two of you approach her. This area, it's a large vaulted room. The ceiling is 30 feet above you, so it's quite high up. And you are on a balcony looking down. To your left and right

are sets of double doors. The doors of this place were made of, or are made, sorry, of steel or iron, but they are encased in amber. In addition, all of the walls, all of the ceilings, all of the floors, everything here is made out of a black granite, which is, with the exception of the floors, everything is encased in amber. It is as if the amber has grown over this place and claimed it. Now, so double door to your left, double door to your right. There is a single door

to your left as well. So two sets of doors on your left, only one on the right. The balcony has two sets of swinging stairs that slide around, curve around, down into darkness. Into that darkness, both of you cast, both of your lights cast down into it.

As you gaze into the darkness, you see half a dozen sets of glassy eyes staring back up at you. Silent until this moment, the many adventurers who arrived here before you are now long dead. Their corpses standing in silent vigil until this moment. As one, they raise their arms and call out to you with a hunger only a corpse wishing to consume the living can summon. Brains! Oh, fuck.

Let's go to initiative. Oh, fuck. Okay. Did you think the monks built the... Oh, fuck. Let's go to initiative. Oh, fuck. Okay. Did you think the monks built the... Oh, okay. I think the monks built this. And then the amber is either a form of... What was that, sir?

What the fuck? Half a dozen? Sorry, I meant something closer to 20. What did you say? 20? I would not have had a chance between seeing the page entry and the bog men to craft anything would I? It's literally two steps

I'll do it on my first turn then Well they have to get up the stairs to get to you so you've got a minute Well you don't got a minute You have some time What's up dude? They rolled really high Come on now

Alright it's the zombies turn first the bog men What's up, dude? They rolled really high. Oh, come on now. All right. It's the zombies' turn first. Okay. The bog men. Okay. They charge brains. Brains. They, as a mass, they move up both sets of stairs.

There's roughly 10 on each set of stairs making their way towards you. It is their turn to do that, though. They are blocking both the left path and the right path now, so the doors are all inaccessible to you. You can retreat back the way you came,

or jump off the balcony. But those are your options now. And, heck, it's your turn. So it was Bogman. It was, what do I remember if Pip didn't yell anything? They're immune to poison. This would be stuff that you would know at this point. They're immune to poison, resistant to bludgeoning and piercing,

so you're going to want to use slashing if possible. Unfortunately, you are wielding a mace. They can't be exhausted Obviously And don't let them bite ya I guess Pretty much Don't have many options

How far away are they? They'd be a scant 10-15 feet From you on either side Are we backing up? You're first. Okay, cool. I'm just going to cast, I hate this, Eldritch Blast, Adam.

Oh, yeah. Cool. Twice. You reach out with your hand and you feel the energy channel from somewhere else directly. It strikes you from behind directly into your heart, reaching along you. As the energy courses through you,

you feel an exaltation. It feels incredible. You love this. Hector, you see as the energy runs down your arm, your arm bulges a little bit as it cannot contain the energy. You, with advantage, hit, and you deal maximum damage.

You smote one of the zombies pretty handily It falls to the ground They have nothing that Okay Is that with I can't, I can cast it It's twice, isn't it? It's two, two

Thunk, thunk Yes, you get two bolts What does the energy look like coming out of your hands? Oh, critical hit I mean, it doesn't matter Is it sickly and purple? Is that what it looks like? It feels sickly and purple But when like coming out of your hands? Oh, critical hit. I mean, it doesn't matter. Is it sickly and purple? Is that what it looks like? It feels sickly and purple, but when it launches out of your hand, it is a skull screaming.

As it screams, as it launches out from your hand, the mouth opens to reveal teeth of daggers. Whoa, dude. That's some skeletal shit. That's awesome. You smote a second one? Fuck yeah. Whoa, dude. That's some skeletal shit. That's awesome. You smote a second one. Fuck yeah. Two go down. Okay.

You're very lucky. I'm going to be kind. Technically, because you're in, you, well, the Amber Temple is the Amber Temple. It's not the lair of the wraith. But within a certain radius of wraiths, undead can't be killed. Oh, God. That would be so bad. That'd have to fucking huff the...

You gotta kill the wraith first. ...hightail it back to the wraith. But we're in the Ebitepos. Different. I'm not counting this as its lair. That would be presumptuous of the wraith. This is the lair to an entirely different set of entities. This is not the...

Yay. Okay. And then... Can I get out my shield? Is that as a bonus action? Or is that... That would be an action. Oh, okay. And then, can I get out my shield? Is that as a bonus action, or is that... That would be an action. Oh, no, no, it's an interaction. Yeah, you can get out your shield, sure.

I'll drop, I guess I'll drop the torch that I was holding. I thought you were shedding light from your mace. I was doing both. Oh, okay. I was hoping to dual wield light sources. Well, you dropped the torch, yeah. And I'll grab my shield shield and I guess I will step in front of my friends.

Esmeralda drops to a knee, takes out the alchemical kit that she got from Van Richten's supplies back outside and you see she quickly crafts something. She pours it all very delicately into one of those syringes, stoppers it up, and then immediately injects it

into her own neck. That is, however, her action. That's so cool. I wish I had syringes. I'm going to do a far more embarrassing version where I squat down and open up my little alchemical kit. And I would like to... I'm imagining you're doing it in like a little,

like a shitty little pot or something like that while she's been getting out beakers, swirling them around. She gets out a set of goggles she puts on. I just shield my eyes. I would like to combine Death's Night Woe for Undead Bane, Hounding Killer Hands

so that it sticks to a weapon, and then I'll go Roper Tentacles for Seeking. You give yourself advantage and I'll say you get five attacks. Nice. Are you

what do you five ammunition these five strikes will kill kill the bog man. That rocks. And you have advantage on these five attacks.

Hell yeah. That is however your action. That's all good. Then it is oh yeah. Yeah. Brains.

Dude. Brains. The zombies wanting brains is awful. It's so legitimately upsetting. So much scarier than them wanting meat. Them cracking open your head for your sweet, goopy brain. Yeah, I know. See, I think meat is also, they were just screaming meat.

Also terrifying. Oh, yeah, that's scary. That's true. Three more zombies join the game. Oh, that's fucking right. Fucking bug man. You are now fighting more than you started with. Fucking, that's fucking right. You are now fighting more than you started with.

Alright, they get to you. You're in a spot of luck, as there's only so many that can attack you. Yay! That's something. So, Pip, would you be... Alright, so I'm trying to get the battlefield right now.

So, the balcony is ten feet across, which means the two people can stand side by side. Who would be standing? Esmerelda would have gone right to the balcony. Okay. So Pip, would you have gone all the way to the balcony? I was thinking that I was kind of behind Hector. That was kind of where I was going to be. Hector, would you have gone all the way to the balcony?

Of course, yeah. I was going to grab shield and try to get in front of the two of them. I'm just trying to work out who can be attacked three times and who can only be attacked seven. Okay. So Esmeralda is going to be attacked twice. Hector, you're being attacked twice as well from two different sides. And Pip, you're getting attacked once.

Okay. So Esmeralda is fine. Hector, you get hit. Great to hear. And P.E.A.P., critical hit. Also good to hear. Oh, fuck, dude. Oh, fuck.

So. To the good boy cards. Do you have anything to block an attack? I don't think so. I'm 99% sure we don't. You gain resistance damage from non-magical attacks. From the start until your next turn. You know what?

Let's use it. Okay. It's a critical hit. I don't want to get bog manned. What are you doing? Oh, but is it a waste? Is it a non-magical? Does this count as a non-magical attack?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm going to use this. You gain resistance to damage from non-magical attacks until the start of your next turn. That won't help. Never mind. I mean, like, it will do less damage, but, so,

you will take a d4 plus 1 damage that you'll half that. And then you roll for Bogman's front. Okay. That's the scary part. We're okay. We're good. Alright, hit me. Fuck me up. What are you... Do I just use the git behind me?

Take it all. No, don't do that. I'll be fine. It's up to you. If I'm going to chop off my own fingers, that's fine. That's okay. If it's on my head, I'm in trouble. Okay, so Esmeralda didn't get hit. Hector, I'll do you first because you're just regular damage. So you take four points

of damage. That's okay. I'm a healthy boy. 25 out of 73. Good stuff. Well, no, out of less than that. And then you need to make. Uh-huh. Oh, God.

I'm a strong boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think your constitution's fabulous. You need to make a DC-12 dexterity or a DC-12 constitution, Chuck. You may pick. Let's go.

Oh, they're both the same. Let's go with on. Okay. Body it. Let's go. Oh, they're both the same. Let's go with con. Okay.

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You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Friday. You're fine. And then poor execution. I'm going to force you to re-roll this.

Okay. I'm spending a bad boy card. That's fine. Bullshit. That's good to hear. Oh, no. That's fine. Did you say con?

Yeah. Yeah, you fail. Do you have anything for this? Where does he get bit? He gets bit on the arm Oh I mean, my con and dex are the same In terms of, are they the same?

Yeah Could I maybe use a Reroll any dex-based check with advantage? Well, you had shoes to make a I did shoes, that is on me You know what, that's fair, that's fair, that's fair I'll cop it, I'll cop it. I'll allow you to.

Because we might need it for, um, yeah. Old boy over here. I, if you want though, I'll allow you to, this is, this, it's take the offer now or don't. I'll allow you to spend that card and one other card of you. No, a random second card. No, look, a random second card. I'll cop it. Okay.

You've caught Bogman's frenzy. We might have to take your fucking arm. Oh my fucking god. Or Flesh Rot, which is the actual name. It's the real name, Bogman. If you're going to a doctor, don't say Bogman's frenzy, say Flesh Rot. Alright, then Where was I bit?

You were bit on the arm. What bit? Hector. How far up? Highs or lows? Oh, boy. Let's go with lows. Highs or lows? Lows. Go highs. I'm not even joking.

Please go highs. Highs. Let's go highs. Okay, cool. I'm not even joking. Please go highs. Go highs. Let's go highs. Okay, cool. I got 90. Okay. Okay. Rather than, for a brief moment, it looks like you're about to be bit on the shoulder. But then as the zombie lurches towards you, it bowls itself over, just throwing itself at you.

Brains! It's about to land on your shoulder, but then luckily you bring your arm up in an awkward position, but it nonetheless defends you. You get bit. I don't know what you call it, but... Like the bottom knuckle? Yeah, right at the base of the thumb. Okay, that's okay. Dude, that's... Hey, lucky. Lucky man. You feel the teeth

sink through your gauntlet. It goes underneath your gauntlet. You goes underneath your gauntlet. You're only armored on top. It sinks underneath into your heavy woolen mitt. It goes through that, and you feel teeth pierce skin. Okay. That's fantastic.

How long does he have? I guess I'll have to- That's a post-combat question. Yeah, if we get there Alright and then Oh no No this would be a bashing Oh no

Rap on the knuckles Triple damage and you both get Well on the bright side Because of the name you also get bit on the hand Okay hey swell Triple damage and you have disadvantage on dexterity-based attacks. Okay. For six rounds.

Does that counterbalance, though, with my advantage? So it's kind of back to normal. You know how the last time we had this conversation, well, we've had this conversation in the past, and I know it's upset you, that you had advantage from multiple sources, and one disadvantage cancels both of them out. And I know

I saw it on your face when we had this conversation. Whenever it was, you were like, ah, it's very annoying. But now you have disadvantage from multiple sources but advantage from one source.

Thank God it's bringing me back to neutral. I'm happy about it. You're neutral. All right. So, yes, so you just have, yeah,

so you just get bit on the hand as well you will take triple this which 15 points of damage of course it's max of course it's max dude you got max on both the many rolls

I've just gone crazy 60, 58 good stuff that's awesome and yeah the disadvantage over here. Cool, cool, cool. 60, 58 hit points. Good stuff. That's awesome. Good stuff. That's awesome stuff. And yeah, the disadvantage,

which whatever cancels out, and then you need to make a con or dexterity saving throw. Your choice. Let's go... Surely. Dex, dex, dex. You pass.

Oh, thank God. Nice. Don't you fuck me on this carnival. Yeah, you pass. Oh, thank God. It's so funny. Pip getting bit, being like, ah!

Then looking over at Hector, who's got it way worse. Just like thumb hanging off. Hector, it's your turn. Right. Just like looking at the bog man who's currently on my hand and just summoning an aldrich blast from that just into his head. That rocks. Sure, yeah. This would be made a disadvantage, just letting

you know, because it's a ranged attack at point-blank range. Worth doing, though. It's so cool. You will unfortunately miss because of that disadvantage unless you have something for an attack roll. And I can't, if I move, I'm going to get hit again. You can't move. There's nowhere to move now.

Okay, well, I'll just attack again. Just pfft, pfft. Okay. Nice. Azure, Azure. Is that a critical fuck? Yeah, it's a critical fail. Oh, my God.

Backfire! The effects of the spell are reversed. Any harmful effects are applied to you. Wait, no. You don't have disadvantage because you advantage all of these attacks. That's right. I do.

That's my bad. I'll re-roll the first attack. First attack hits. Oh, nice. Nice. Maximum damage. You blast that zombie's head clean off. Hell yes.

It's very funny. Nothing else does this. No other type of enemy does this, but I'll mark down how many enemies you're fighting on my... I've got scratch paper that I just keep track of things on. Nothing else ever goes down and up.

It's funny to see the... 19, 17, 20, 19. And then you make your second attack. That's... Sure, yes. The second attack. Okay, I was going to say, the one that is attacking Pip. Sure, yes. The second attack, you smote two of them.

Nice. Two heads explode. Hell yeah. Which will cause problems for Swappin' later. But that's tomorrow's problem. That's a secondary issue to consider. It's Esmeralda's turn. She belches flames.

Hell yes. Okay. Okay. Three zombies go up in flames. Two of them pass, but one fails its saving throw. Even the ones that pass still go up in flames. Esmeralda burns three of them to nothing. Fuck yeah. Pip, it's your turn.

I'm gonna go to load one of my crossbow bolts, and then I'm gonna to be like, get your head on straight. And then I'm going to turn around and use my flame breath on some of the other ones. Oh, yeah, okay. Do you know what the range of that is? It's 15 feet, is that correct? I think so. It's not huge.

Yeah, that's okay. Yeah. Because you still get, you're standing next to Pip, so you still get 10, 2, 3, you get 6. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, wait. Esmerela should have gotten a lot more as well, actually. Sorry, because hers got the same range. You still get ten two three you get six fuck. Yeah. Oh wait Esmerela should have gotten a lot more as well actually sorry cuz hers got the same range. Sorry. She should have gotten Six as well so another three go down fuck. Yes, dude. Okay, okay, okay you belch on

Three pass so half of them pass half fail that is That is, even with the pass, you kill another six. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. Wow, that's good. You've gone down to six. That's awesome. There's more coming. There's more coming. They're on the stairs though, so they will actually just be spending their next turn getting to you. So you will have an entire

turn to just prep yourselves. Thank God. Alright. Brains! Brains! More join the party. How many more can we see? Six plus eight is fourteen. No. No. You're fine. Just, it doesn't. No.

No more join the party? So, I roll a d20, add however many zombies are in the area, and if that number does not meet fifteen, no more join the party. So it's 14. Okay. Oh, just done. I'm still glancing over

the balcony looking for more. It's the zombies' turn. The ones that are still remaining are so far back that they spend their turn getting to you. Hector. Okay, right. Two more. Eldrick. Eldrick plus. All I can do and it's taken away so much of right. Two more. Eldrick. Eldrick plus all I can do, and it's taken away so much of me.

Oh, yeah. So you still, it's because they're up at you again. You're not rolling with advantage or disadvantage. One hits, you smite whatever, a zombie, then that's a critical miss. So do you have anything for a critical miss? I don't think we do. Alas, alas, no. Good news, bad news. Okay, give me that bad news, Adam.

All creatures. The good news is also all creatures. Detonation. All creatures within 15 feet of you, including yourself, must make a saving throw appropriate to the spell. I'm going to call it... I'm going to call it con. Equal to your spell save DC, which is 17. On a failed, they take a D8, maximized,

of the type caused by this attack. So a D8 force damage to everyone within 15 feet of you. Okay, so let's roll yours first. Con save of 17. You pass. Oh, that's something. No damage. Hoor feet of you. Okay, so let's roll yours first. Con save of 17. You pass. Oh, that's something. No damage. Hooray for you.

Pip, you fail. Oh, fuck. You take eight points of force damage. You're too powerful down here, man. You're too powerful. You're, oh, fuck. Just getting flung. Esmeralda.

Still breathing heavy. Esmeralda passes. No damage. And then 15 feet in both directions. So you are going to get 10 zombies. No, there's only five left. You get all five of them get caught in this. Well, that's good, I guess.

If they... Oh, no, wait. If they save, they take no damage. So any zombie that saves takes no damage. There's one left. Do I get flung? No, it doesn't throw you. Oh, okay.

Just like somebody punching me. Yeah. Awesome. Hector. Hector, as you're drawing the energy As it slams into the back of you this time You feel two skeletal hands One on each shoulder And then you hear a whisper into

The whisper of a once lover But now vengeful assassin Into your ear. Okay. Let me help. And then you explode. There's one zombie left, Hector. It's Esmeralda's turn.

Esmeralda. Sarah. Esmeralda brings her, stabs with her rapier and then brings her axe down the rapier and the axe together take that zombie out okay is there any more do we need to switch there

I look at the exploded heads sorry that's okay we'll do our best Esme he was bit on the thumb pretty bad I will deal with Hector

you were also bit. I'm fine. I can tell. I'm getting a bad boy card for that. That's so rude. Can I get a good boy card for role player? What? As Pip would do.

Alright. No, actually, Pip, put it back. You get a bad boy card for fucking doing whatever you just did. Whatever you get, put it back. You get a bad boy card. Okay. For fucking doing whatever you just did, whatever you want to call it. Being rude. Being rude. And as wielding a sword, add one damage die to the attacks of any creature.

That could be useful. Pretty useful. Yeah. I would specify. Not us. Yeah. An NPC. That's okay.

That's still useful. Actually, no. You can allow, but for one fight. Yeah. One fight only. I'll start swapping the bodies. I'll do my best. Obviously, some of them are in states of

massive disrepair. But I feel like I'm better suited. It seems like Esme has a sort of medical bent to a monster hunting. Yeah. So if anybody's gonna do a...

Yeah, I think... An amputation. I think Esme is very much like a no person left behind. Yeah. Whereas Pip's like, oh, well. You a bit. How many times?

You probably got it. We should probably shoot you in the head now. Just in case. Oh, yeah. You don't want to tell Pip in a zombie apocalypse. You don't want to be like, I think I've been bit. If it had been your head. Oh, yeah.

It would have been my head. Exactly. Sorry, buddy. We got to amputate. How's the lows? Lows. Lows. All right. Fuck you. Esmeralda inspects your bite You have contracted She pulls the

Pulls the sleeve of your shirt back To reveal, you can see Your own veins, you know how you can always see The blue ones especially You can see that you literally watch As black slowly Moves through them. When this gets to your heart, you will die.

I have not the alchemical ingredients to help with this. Give me your axe. Let's, one moment. Pip, do you have healing, powerful healing? I mean, I can have a look, but I think we've got to take the thumb, Esme. Let's see. Powerful healing. Nope, not really.

I've got regular healing, immunity to energy. Give me the regular healing. Okay. I'll pull out a malachite. Maybe I'll go the malachite. I'll also give some more Death's Night Woe because Undead Bane just might help. Might charge it up a bit. And then

I'm sure I have more healing. Oh yeah, and some Coatal Eggshells, which are healing too. Do they have legendary power? No, none of them do. That's what I mean. So this is a strained potion because it's not as powerful as it should be.

So the roll is at disadvantage. But if she gets it, you don't need to lose the thumb. She... Oh, forgot to take the lower number, but that's still fine. She manages to make a bandage out of the... Oh, she just takes a bandage,

mushes the eggshells into it, pours the... or places the Death Knight's Woe gently on it, and then she crushes the malachite, makes a sandwich of sorts, presses it together as hard as she can, and then wraps that around her hand. Keep this bandage on for at least a day. It should stop the infection. Okay. If it does not, how will we know? If you begin to see the infection spreading out from underneath the bandage,

then we will consider taking the hand. I'd say, I'm on the stairs, I'd say before it gets to your elbow, because you want to get it before the elbow, because you don't want to, then you've got a little bit of motion, range. It's easier to put a prosthetic on. You could see it moving, but you could tell it was moving slow enough that you can probably keep it to the hand if you want to.

Yeah. So I was like, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Well, I guess Esme would know about prosthetics. Esme seems pretty confident with this. Thank you. Thank you. It was not a flesh rot, but I have she gestures to her

where her leg was. I have experience with removing disease. Thank you for helping, both of you. Thank you. She nods. Good, thank you. Could have been a lot worse. Yeah, okay. Right, let's have you done the

gesture? I had a heart thing Yeah For the ones I can Yeah The ones whose heads Are exploded I mean

Well we might be okay On that Um I think you've Actually got to the point Pip Yeah Where you can't fail This check anymore

That's awesome I think Bomber clout dude Get a good boy card Yes And that Oh no Oh re-roll constitution based check Where you can't fail this check anymore. That's awesome. I think... Bombaclat, dude. Get a good boy card? Yes. And that... Oh, no. Oh, re-roll a constitution-based check.

That would have been useful. That's fine. Like three times. Oh, whoops. Dear me. Pip, you're pretty confident it's good. All right. I think they're fine.

I'm coming back up. How's... Oh, yeah, you got a bandage on him. That's good. It seems to on him. That's good. It seems to have slowed. That's good. Did you want to... Is there anything...

These are dead adventures, right? That's true. There might be... Is there anything on them? I think in a situation like this, in a place like this, any resource helps. So, yeah, that's probably a good idea.

Their equipment is, for the most part, pretty fucking useless. You can peel armor and weapons from the dead but there are the armor and weapons are so badly damaged and decayed to truck them to truck them back it might just not be worth it to be honest yeah for sure but among their possessions you do find some useful stuff you find about not about sorry you find exactly 225 gold coins among all of the corpses. The coins are like a million different types of minting. You can see from all over, not just Kandor, not just Barovia, from other realms of existence,

you note features on the coins that are completely alien to you. That's cool. Who's this old lady with a crown? I don't know. Doesn't look like any queen I know. Any queen I know. Yeah. Paper money.

Sure, yeah. It's a Ben Franklin. Some of it might be paper money. That would not be included because the paper money would not be... It wouldn't even register as money to us, I'm assuming. We've rotted by now. Yeah, true, true.

You additionally find two spell scrolls. They're divine spell scrolls, for what it's worth. It won't matter too much. One is of Spider Climb and the other, Sleet Storm. Cool. Neither of you can just cast them. It requires a roll to cast either of the scrolls. Okay.

Yeah, Esmeralda as well, because they're divine. They're kind of an annoying... Yeah, an annoying type down here they're arcane type spells but for they're prayer scrolls yeah so

you need no one here has the connection necessary to just cast yeah but anyone can it just requires the roll so if I were to say upstairs

I could cast these no no you couldn't either oh you would need to have it as part of your spell list oh okay cool okay either uh you would need to have it as part of your spell list okay cool uh yeah so you'd need to be a very specific type of caster it's just randomly generated yeah yeah i mean the the spider climb you pull off uh some sort of

actually you know what fuck yeah you pull the the the this one makes sense spider climb you pull off a fucking drow. That makes a lot of sense. But Sleet Storm was randomly generated. Okay. Fabulous. Yeah, anyway. That makes sense.

Yeah. All right. Good stuff. Good stuff. All right. Yes, so two sets of doors to your left. One is double. One is single.

One set of double doors to your right. and then stairs that lead down into the darkness. You can just make out a hood of some giant statue out of the darkness. Pip, you might have gotten a closer look. It looks like there's somewhere in this chamber, there's a statue of the same

entity that was outside. I mean, we don't have a map or anything of this place. Is it the kind of thing where we just, and this makes sense to me, we just descend until we find what we're looking for? Potentially I was going to check the doors to see if Hardcastle had marked anything. That's a good idea.

Smart. No, you just see those four notches and then the indication of Bogman. Okay. If we go over to the other doors, nothing marked? On this level, no, you see no marks on any of the... No, sorry. I tell a lie. You do see a mark. On

the single door on your left, you see a seven tally mark. This one has a seven tally mark. That means I would assume this is how it works. He's gone deeper and there'll be further marks down there. So he came back to this one.

All right. He's been here, but this is not the direct path that he followed. No. Still, let's open it. Let's have a look. I'll put the door and have a peer in. You see this was once this room connects, first off, to the arrow slit room where you were looking before. This was once probably some sort of barracks. It looks

like maybe soldiers, guards, whatever were stationed in this room and used it as a rest spot while they were doing shifts in the arrow slit room. You turn the room over, nothing of interest. No other marking? No, nothing I can see. No marking in that room, no.

That room did come to a dead end, though. The Arraslit room is a dead end, so. And there was nothing on the other two doors? No. On this way? No, nothing I could see. I think Deep Bird is. Hard Castle didn't seem to go into these ones.

No. But I didn't see any other markings on those two doors to be anything. The double doors on the left? Yeah, the two doors on the left. You see that they're locked, but other than that, no. No markings. Does it seem weird that he came back here, but then we didn't find an 8 marking anywhere further

back from where we came from? You might find it ominous, meaning that maybe that was where he met his demise. Yeah, potentially. Or disappeared or something. But he could have also come up seven, gone down again eight. When you say that the two doors on the left are locked, are they like a padlock or is it like locked doors?

It's an internal to the door lock. You give the doors an experimental little push and you can tell that they are barred. These are barred. I cannot even begin to think how I These are barred. I cannot I cannot even begin to think how I would pick the lock. I'm not very... I'm all thumbs.

The iron doors encased in amber look pretty sturdy, but you imagine, given enough time, you could open them. I guess downwards. Downwards we go. Keep your eye out for notches and bog, man. I'll light a torch again and

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