D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia III #15 The Devil You Know

Episode Date: May 18, 2024

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Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated. The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strahd is our jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill Devil Strahd. You approach the door.

Descriptions of awful things that humans can do to each other. What does it say? It's a long one. A lot of descriptions of murder and torture and mayhem using blood and temperature cold mostly cold i think this is yes what was was what is now inhabiting valakai right came out of here would and i hate to suggest this and let's not dive into anything but would you learn anything from going in? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. This is why we came here.

One of the many reasons. I walk in. This room has amber glazed walls and a floor of purplish black marble. There are, well, there were once three amber sarcophagi standing here in alcoves to the north, west, and east. Two of those sarcophagi are shattered in pieces on the ground. They, nothing of interest or note aside from the shattered sarcophagus comes from them. But the still remaining third sarcophagus is loathsome, awful to look at. It has a fell aura to it.

You can see within there is a small, maybe only one foot in length, and then an eighth of that in diameter. There's a shard of silvery, not silvery, liquid darkness that is roiling around inside the amber sarcophagus. They have the appearance of sarcophagi, but inside them it is just that, or inside it is just that

shard of darkness. You hear as that shadow whispers to you, Sight. I can give you sight. Sight. I can give you sight. Sight. See the stars of secrets. The gift of divination.

Gift of divination. What would it cost us? What would it cost me? Sight has its own whispered reactions, actions and reverses. Accept the gift, and nothing bad will happen. And if I do not accept the gift?

You may leave. Can I look at the... There's two shattered sarcophagus, nothing else is there, but this one is just awful, and it's the whispering something from it? Something is whispering from within. That shadow, perhaps. You can tell that shadow is something. It's an entity.

Something is inside that, but what it is, you're not sure, other than it's offering you a gift of sight. Okay. And it wants sight. No, no than it's offering you a gift of sight. Okay. And it wants sight. No, no, no. It wants to give you sight. Give me sight. And I don't have to give it anything in return. Is that what it's saying?

That doesn't seem right. Yeah. No such thing as a free lunch, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that seems bad, Adam. Nothing you would not part with willingly. Hmm. What happened to those two?

Do you know what happened to the two other sarcophagus over here? It doesn't respond. It doesn't seem interested. Instead, it responds, sight. I can give you sight. It seems to want to make a deal or not talk at all. Do I know this would be like, again, deals with devils, deals with demons. There's always a little bit of a hook.

Well, yeah. I mean, obviously, something bad will happen. How bad that something is and if it's worth the sight, you're not sure. The entity is not elaborating. At the most it says, it says something that you would not willingly part with anyway. And there's nothing else in this place

to kind of be like, oh yep, that's where Father Limmick was, that was where something else was. Literally, just absolutely not much here. Yeah, the two-shattered sarcophagi, beyond that there's nothing... I mean, like I said sarcophagi, beyond that, there's nothing. I mean, like I said, once they're broken open, there doesn't seem to be anything special about the sarcophagi anymore.

Right. Something was definitely unsealed here, but the broken seal is meaningless. I walk out of the room. Everything all good? I'm checking his eyes. There's three sarcophagus in there. Two were broken open. And the third? And the third was, I described what I saw.

Silvery darkness, like moving like liquid, offering sight. And you said? I said nothing. I left. Okay., offering sight. And you said? I said nothing. I left. Okay. Offering sight. It said divination for something you would not, you'd be comfortable losing, I think.

Yeah. Well, no. I mean. So if anyone wants to make a deal with whatever that is, by all means. But I know of one thing that got loose, but I don't know the... Wait, blood magic. Wait, hang on.

Father Limmick, I don't know about Father Limmick. That was all just temperature-based. He was a god. Some was temperature, some was blood. As in like Father Limmick himself. Yeah, well, he's associated with terrible cold, yeah. Yeah, but not blood. Not blood, no.

Okay. But the god of Tongues was? No, the God of Tongues... The God of Tongues... Is something else. Is something else entirely, yeah. He's a dealmaker. The God of Tongues is actually not as powerful as Father Lemmick,

but he does have powers that Father Lemmick does not have. Yeah, he's a dealbreaker. Yeah. Breaker. I would say, if there were two shattered sarcophagi and the doors here talk of cold and blood

I think it would not be hard to determine what was once kept in those two sarcophagi the enigmatic and then whatever made Strahd oh because of the blood? It is the signature of the vampire blood.

Where is it now? Esmeralda shrugs. I do not know. Three. Father Limmick has made himself. Sorry. Esmeralda doesn't seem to care. But yeah, Hector, obviously.

I mean, we're right here sorry sorry sorry sorry old mate he's made his very obvious it was broken out very recently

if whatever made Strahd was broken out when did Strahd come here? I don't know. Brovia is old, exceptionally so. And we know not always in its current state, perhaps, and this is just throwing ideas out there, Strahd or somebody else cracks this one open,

whatever's inside. Makes a deal with whatever it creates. Perhaps Brovia is in a way its own snow globe and instead of darkness Snow globe within a snow globe. So it makes a blood globe. Yes, perhaps

Brovia is a blood globe. Merry Domesmas. It is traditional to gift someone a blood globe on Gnomesmas. Yes, Merry Gnomesmas. So they weren't, I mean, there's no way of really telling of like when each one was like, No, actually, no. One of the two shattered ones has dust on it. It was shattered eons ago.

Okay. But the other one very recent well that's actually um yes one one was shattered recently the other one had it was dust it was it was eons ago so that would make so whatever came here because i thought stride was the first vampire i I don't know. Made a deal with whatever was in that. I mean, I've fought vampires back in Ognod. I don't think they all came from here. I mean, they weren't quite as nasty as the ones on the other side of the mist, but... Perhaps if the Vevils have a god of Vevils who created them, vampires. And if all this...

I want to gesture to the other remaining rooms. Here they are trapping gods. I wish to say we don't have a god of the impending cold apocalypse and the god of blood. Okay. If I

take a step back and start reading the descriptions, is it the blood and the cold? Are they two separate things, or are they together? It feels a bit mixed, like they're related. Okay, interesting.

So then, whatever is else is in there, it might be related to the what we're dealing with. And whatever we're dealing with, we need information. I don't want to make a deal, but I might have to. Yeah. You see, on the wall, it talks about cold.

Yep. And it talks about blood. Yep. Nothing else? There are three sarcophagi in there. Can I? That's what I'm thinking. There is, through all of them, there is an idea of knowledge.

Oh, right. Of course. It's knowledge. Oh, right. Of course. It's knowledge. It's knowledge about... There are things here that... It's all about blood and temperature, but it's what it can do, which is... It's not about...

Is there anything there which is good? Is it anything there of like... No. No, this is not a place of good. Okay. Knowledge gods. Knowledge gods. Rattle them them off let's figure out who we're dealing with no it's not it's not a god of knowledge it's more of an entity of knowledge like it knows a lot about this this room it they are collected here but they are not the same yeah okay but I think it's important to know who we're dealing with. Obviously, there are many entities, but does it strike any chords to evil knowledge?

Okay. Bad boy card for me. There is just like so many entities and powers. It's too many. And the previous two doors that you checked checked you could maybe identify specifically if there was sarcophagi in there not saying there necessarily is but if there were sarcophagi in there you might because they're bigger more important gods you might be able to be like oh that's that that's that that's that these ones feel like lesser smaller entities father lemmick is big to your religion but no one else cares about father lemmick so this feels like kind of the b team in a manner of speaking so we could make um it might

know the knowledge of how to get rid of what is cursing valakai maybe in the knowledge of getting out of here maybe the knowledge of defeating Strahd. Maybe. Of course, that's a possibility. But your first instinct doesn't have to be making a deal with something you don't understand. There's plenty more temple to explore. We can put a pin in this. Yes, we can put a pin in this.

Hector, you feel a skeletal hand on each of your shoulders, and you hear a whispered voice in your ear. If knowledge is what you seek, find me. I mean, we don't have to make a deal with this particular devil. There's still a God to see. Exactly.

Let's not, you know, three's a crowd. All right. You're right. Leave the door of whispers for now. Let's carry on. Perhaps Van Richten's camp is somewhere. So are you going up those stairs

or do you want to go into the eastern section? Where do you want to go? I'm guessing eastern section. The partially collapsed one? Okay. The northern end of the hall is inaccessible to you. The collapse is so extensive that you cannot traverse to the northern end of this hallway. But there are two more doors here as soon as you enter.

Two more doors. These ones are those lesser ones. Yeah, okay. You know, the mundane room doors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I said. And then there are two more doors. Both of them are

these strange ones with carvings and runes upon them. Both of them are closed right now. You approach. One of them, the first one you encounter. Ah, perfect. Eileen, the wastes. This one is carved.

Not carved, it's more scratched. Like someone didn't do it with a hammer and chisel. Someone did it with their own hands. Carving again and again and again. You can almost see the stains from where their fingernails snapped off and they kept going with bare fingers.

Oh Eileen, sovereign of the wastes and then you keep going. Oh Eileen, sovereign of the wastes And then You keep going Oh Eileen, sovereign of the Waste? Yeah, sovereign of the waste, keeper of Souls where all existence rests So this is Eileen Yeah, yeah, it is

In beauty or in bones It becomes faster, more fervent You can't stop yourself Should we be doing the whole thing? I don't think you should be doing the whole thing. In a limbo where your realm where uncertain debates accept a please both favoritism and mild grace, mercy to the wandering lost in excitement.

He keeps babbling. You can't stop him. I'm trying to shelter him. Esme! Esme! Esme's also trying to cover his mouth. There's a space between life and death. Illumine the path.

Show us the way. Hector! Excited. Happy that youumine the past. Show us the way. Hector! Excited. Happy that you have said the prayer. The door opens for you. Show us the way. Three Ambrose sarcophagi await inside. Show us the way.

I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. It's all right. Hector, you cannot help but wander in. I don't think you should be. I, I, I, I, I I'm trying to stop. I'm trying. I'm going in too. Hector plants

both hands directly on one of the Sarkoffa guy, and then Hector, you're standing in an infinite void. Darkness in all directions. Slowly, the world around you begins to materialize. You're standing in a desert. It's nighttime. No, it's not nighttime. It's always nighttime. It's always dark.

The sky is black with a slight purple tinge. There are no stars. There's no moon. Nothing but an infinite, infinite endless black void dead above you, dead around you. There is one feature, a rocky outcrop with many holes stuck in it, many tunnels or caves. In one of them, you can see a faint flickering light, a reddish hue. In one of them, you can see a faint flickering light, a reddish hue. The only feature aside from rocks, sand, and endless black sky is that flickering light gutted coming from a cave. I'll start walking towards the cave. You have to climb up the rocky face a little bit.

You pass several other caves. You can see there are the long, desiccated dead remains of people within, huddled together, some for warmth, some accepting that death is inevitable and has come for them. Finally, you reach up to the cave with the fire in it. You see inside a little magical flame has been created, and there are two figures huddled around it, one big, one small. The small one, as you approach, turns to face you. You see the torn apart, undead visage of a corpse. It opens its mouth and speaks. Who are you?

I am Hector. A supplicant to see the mistress. Yes, I have been summoned by Aileen. You will not skip the line. It turns to look at the big figure. You cannot skip the line. I am next. I look at the big figure.

The big figure turns. You see the corpse, what is left of the corpse of a Goliath. Huge, imposing, not unlike Tarpos, but somehow at the same time incredibly different. Decaying, dead, diseased flesh. You can see undead maggots eating away at it. Right. You're second, I believe.

I'm after the little one. And how long have you both been waiting? I have waited my whole life for this moment. The little one says, You cannot take. It is mine. Mine. No.

I think it is mine. And I want to cast Eldritch Blast. You smite them both down. Whoa. You destroy them. The flame gutters out, and then you can feel a presence standing behind you. I turn around.

She's standing there. I lean. She breathes like a sigh of relief, but no air actually passes through her. She is dead. She is very long dead. Perhaps the longest dead that anything has or can be. Alina, I presume.

But we have met before, Hector. You know me. I do know you. I have good news for you. I can help you. I can give you exactly what you want. What do I want? You want to get out of Barovia.

You want your freedom. And i can give that to you i know i know the ritual that can seal vampire back in his tomb drain strad of his power so that tomb vampire that is what gives strad long, Strahd came to the Amber Temple seeking knowledge. Why is not important, as the wise of all mortals are. He made a deal with Vampyr. In exchange for his brother's blood, Strahd was made the Lord of Barovia. And functionally, for a mortal, a mortal. But Vampyr can be sealed away again. Strahd can lose his power.

And Barovia can return to where it once was. The people will be saved. Everyone will hail you a hero, Hector. You will have everything you've ever wanted. Or, and you may choose, you can seal Father Limmick away. You will remain here. As Strahd will never die. Because Vampyr will Limmick away. You will remain here, as Strahd will never die, because Vampyr will not be sealed away.

And so you, as Father Limmick's jailer, shall we say, may be stuck here, but so will Father Limmick, at least until you die. I don't mind. You may pick either way. The ritual is the same,

but it can only be conducted once every 10,000 years far longer than you have and what happens what would Father Limmick do if he is free? if Father Limmick remains free he will eventually spread of course he will how much time that takes?

I cannot say but Hector, all things die all things decay you can slow him, though. Or you can free Barovia. I leave the choice up to you. I will teach you the ritual either way.

Then teach me. Teach me what I have to do. She places a hand, she places both her hands, sorry, on your chest, and in an instant, you know. There's a ritual. You will need at least two people technically if you want to get technical three you need an avatar of the entity so in father lemmick's case that will be the burgermaster of valakai or in vampir's case it will be strad

himself you need their ashes specifically neither one of them can ever truly die while their sovereign is unsealed, but they can die for long enough that you can use the ashes. You take their ashes back to their sarcophagi and you will know which is which. With the ashes, one person

must cast the binding ritual. The binding ritual will take five minutes. The reason you need a second person for the ritual is while you are binding Father Lemic or Vampyr back into the Amber Temple,

they will fight you. And you need a second person to protect you while that happens. The ritual takes five minutes with the ashes of the avatar. Does that make sense? That makes sense. Alright. And should you

succeed in sealing away Vampyr, or should you ever leave Barovia, Hector Alabaster, Hector the Beautiful, Hector Dragonsbane, you will carry me into the material realm. She gestures at your mace,

sand peels off it, and its form changes from the wreathed, corrupted, angelic one that you had to a mundane mace. It looks normal. Very, very unassuming.

You will carry that mace and then one day when you die on the material realm, should you die on the material realm, you will be sealed in that mace to keep its power. And so you will remain and you will be able to coach and guide and lead your descendants and their descendants and their descendants and their descendants for my plan is long and ancient. And one day when the time is right, you will be handed as the mace to my chosen. And when my chosen takes the mace, your part is done. Your soul will be destroyed. You will have no afterlife, but for those millennia, you will be

able to coach your descendants. They will have your knowledge and your skills. And you may not be immortal. Your soul may not be immortal. But you will act upon the material realm far more than any other creature could possibly imagine. That is the deal we make.

Okay. So, I am to give you my soul so that I may teach my descendants of what to do, the knowledge of what we fight for. I turn my back on Penya. I turn my back on Penya. I turn my back on the light. I turn my back on everything that I was trained to be so that you can come into the material realm. What if I say no? She smiles. There's a meanness to the smile,

but it feels more piteous almost. Hector, you came to Barovia, not just part of the Shadowfell, but the deepest part of the Shadowfell. And then in Barovia, you found the Amber Temple, the darkest part of Barovia. And then in the Amber Temple, you stepped into my sarcophagus. Hector, what makes you think you have a choice? We'll see about that. Goodbye, Hector, what makes you think you have a choice? We'll see about that. Goodbye, Hector. You're in the Amber Temple.

I imagine I've just stepped in. Don't touch the sarcophagus. Oh, he's doing it. No. I just want to look around. Do you know what we need to do? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think I know what we need to do? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I think I know what we need to do. Double thumbs up. Let's get out of here. Yes, let's leave this place. We've got what we came for, right? There's nothing else. Esmeralda shrugs. There could be more knowledge to be had.

Always. How many are sarcophagi in this particular place? There are three sarcophagus here. Each of them whispers to you. The one you were just touching, actually no, sorry, the one you were just touching says nothing. But the other two whisper to you, disease and death. They whisper to both of you. I can grant you disease upon your foes fell awful deaths and the other

one whispers life i give life you can give life save lives i is esmeralda here she's not in the room i don't want to come in this room i step, thank you. I'll step back out. What do you mean life? Oh my God. Bring the dead back. You motherfucker, is your racket this? Bring the dead back to life.

Bring the dead back to life. Hector, we want... Esmeralda says it. In what fuck? In what way? We have to go. Chop, chop. In what way? Those to go Chop chop In what way Those who have fallen

Before their time Can be brought back to you Loved ones Allies Mentors I got an eye on Esmeralda dude Esmeralda says again What

What did it say Nothing He's not saying anything We can bring Pip The other door again. What? What did it say? Nothing. He's not saying anything. We can bring... Pip, the other door swings open of its own accord. This is just for you.

Love. Adoration. Those who hated you may love you still. I can give you their love. I like make like a tiny step toward it, and then reach down, grab my crossbow,

slap myself in the face. Keep your head on straight. Keep your head on straight. I'm going to go up to the two of them. Keep your head on straight. Keep your head on straight. Now, keep your head on straight. We're going.

We're going. We're leaving. Keep your heads on straight. Esmeralda, I'll grab him by the cuff. Hecht, I'll grab you by the cuff. Keep your goddamn heads on straight. I swear, like, his firmly planted feet down. You are

but one dragonborn. That is something beyond us. It could bring Van Richten back. Esmeralda looks like she's about to hit you. Yes, it could bring Van Richten back. Sure. Making deals with devils's about to hit you. Yes, it could bring Van Richten back. Sure. Making deals with devils. Yes, that's awesome.

That's what we've been reduced to. That's how the whole place fucking started. Esmeralda full on socks you in the jaw, Pip. Okay. It's happening. You take four points of damage. Okay. I reach into my bolt pack.

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to buy tickets immediately Borderlands Friday oh fuck do you have anything for an attack roll? no I don't think so. Esmeralda grabs it and twists. Hector, Esmeralda and Pip are forward fighting.

Esmeralda grabs you by the neck, Pip, and starts choking you. I'm going to try and stop Esme from strangling Pip. That is kind of what it looks like is about to happen. Oh, boy. No, no, Esme, Esme, Esme, Esme, please, please, please. Van Richten's gone. Please. But you don't want...

Oh, I rolled for you, but it doesn't matter. You say Van Richten? Oh, fuck. Oh, boy. She lets go of the... She's now both hands around your throat, has thrown you to the ground, is on top of you. She's full- hands around your throat Has thrown you to the ground Is on top of you She's full on choking him out He comes back in

You don't want him like that Let the memory be enough She's full on overpowered him Can I I'm just trying Can I just hold Pip's Snout shut so he shuts off Hector tries to Suffocate you Just hold Pip's snout shut so he shuts off.

Hector tries to suffocate you. Hector's also suffocating you, I guess. Shut up, Pip. Shut up. Esme. Esme. If you kill him, I will use that and I will bring him back. Esmeralda, let's go of you, Pip.

You can breathe again. She's still on top of you. Esmeralda is looking at you. She wants to kill You can breathe again. She's still on top of you. Esmeralda is looking at you. She wants to kill you. She's not, but she wants to kill you. He did not kill your mentor. Whatever is in there, sure, it says we could bring him back, and we could.

You could. We don't know in what state. We don't know what will happen. We don't know if he'll return like Strahd. We don't know if he'll return like strad we don't know if he'll return like he's cursed like he is something undead like he is the aghast that killed him we don't know let us all just let cooler heads prevail esmeralda looks at you hector and you see that it's not cooler heads prevailing she's just not killing pip she's furious at you as well she doesn doesn't say anything. She stands up and... Why don't we

find his camp? Maybe he wrote something down. And if you still think, if we still think we could bring him back, we bring him back. Are you looking for the elf man's camp?

All three of you look over. Yes, we're looking for the elf man's camp. All three of you look over. Yes, we're looking for the elf man's camp. A skeleton wearing robes with a staff in its arms is standing behind you. When I say staff in its arms, not in the combative way. It has a very relaxed posture. Yes, we're looking for the elf man's camp. I know where it is. He has robes

similar to the people who worked here. Lead the way. I'll leave a pause for him to introduce himself. I remember not my name. Okay, what should we call you? I have not

needed a name in a long time. The name Vilnius feels right. Okay, Vilnius. No, Rahadin, perhaps. Okay, Rahadin. No, that's someone else's name. Okay, never mind. Perhaps for now, merely call me Stranger. Okay, never mind. Perhaps for now, merely

call me Stranger. Okay, Stranger, shall we look to Esme? Is she chill a little bit? Esmeralda is in a fugue state. I'm not saying anything. If I say anything out of my mouth, I'll get... Oh, it feels like she might stomp on your face. I'm staying as still

and quiet as possible. Well, Stranger, lead on. I put my hand down to help Pip. Are you hungry? I could eat. Come with me. I'm just waiting until Esme gets off me of her own volition. I'm not trying to struggle out.

Esmeralda steps so that she's not standing directly over you and follows at a distance. I help you. Thank you. The skeleton takes you back up the staircase, and then at that locked door, he produces a set of keys and unlocks the door. I do not think I was one of the original creators of this place. The robes I merely found here, as with the keys, he says, holding them up to show you. There will be spectral entities on the other side of this door.

While I am here, they will not attack, but come here without me and they will savage. The Van Richten was his name. He dealt with them temporarily, but they have grown restless again. He opens the door, and sure enough, there are, in this room, it looks like a camp was made here long ago. This is not Van Richten's camp.

It's six bedrolls. You can see that there are corpses still in the bedrolls. They bear the insignia of the Knights of Argenvostolt, you would know. The silver dragon would have been shown to you, or you've definitely seen it by now. You can see that there is a lantern in the middle of the room, which once would have been lit, but has since run out of fuel. It smells a little bit of junterberry oil, which Pip, you know, gives off when it's burned, gives off a blue hue.

And there are, as I said, six spectral entities here. They turn and you see there's a moment of aggression, but when they see that you are with Stranger, they do not attack. They have glowing blue eyes and one of them calls out, Defend! Protect! Prevent!

And Stranger puts up a hand and says, Of course, we will keep your vigil. You would know these, Pip, immediately. You spot them as specters. Ghosts of people who died. With unfinished business, basically. With, Pip, immediately. You spot them as spectres. Ghosts of people who died. With unfinished business, basically. With unfinished business, yeah. When the lantern is lit, it would give off a blue light, which would distract the spectres.

You know that much. You see, as well, there are some bandages here, which look quite recent. They're not old like the corpses. Esmeralda looks at the bandages. You see there's an expression that crosses her face. Presumably these were Van Richten. And then you keep moving. There's another doorway here which

Stranger leads you through. You are led through a hallway and then into a dining room. It's a large, grand-looking dining room. It's beautiful food is laid out on the table. You, at first, presumably, think this is for you. But then Stranger puts up a hand and says,

Ah, no, this is a trick of this place. Yeah, I would not eat it in a million years. No, do not trust this food. My room is nearby. From this dining room, you're taken out onto that shattered balcony. Stranger turns and says, it looks unsafe, but supports weight well enough. From the balcony, you're taken into another series of rooms, and then you come into this 15-foot high room contains the trappings of royalty. Ornate furniture, exquisite rugs and tapestries, and a decorative statuary.

Everywhere you look are lit candelabras atop small tables. The beauty of the decor is undone by thick dust and cobwebs. As you enter, the skeleton, looking at each of you in turn, says, Do I know you? You look familiar. He specifically talks to you, Hector. You have a fire about you that I do know you? You look familiar. He specifically talks to you, Hector. You have a fire about you that I

do know you. We've met before. We have? Where from? Strahd von Zarevich. No, I'm not. The name is Hector. Oh, my mistake. I'm sorry. You remind me neither here nor there.

You've met Stroud? Yes. We knew each other for a time. When he came here, you were here? No. Before this, he gestures to himself, before I became a lick. Oh.

Oh. I see. You're very friendly, for a lich. Yeah. I've known You're very friendly for a lich. Yeah. I've known friendly liches in my time. It's not unheard of. Strahd, yes. I remember him now.

A good man. He nods. I mean, I'm not, you know, he's old. Yeah. A good man. We came here. Information? Yes.

Something. So you came here together and he made a... You remember the wizard's tower? Exathander. Right. You remember you came with him, Strahd, and he spoke to, I guess, someone called a vampire? Yes.

An entity in the sarcophagi. Yes. Yes. This is probably information for you, Pip. He came here. We came here. He spoke with Vampyr. They made a deal

and then... Then it all went wrong. Terrible things. Oh, Strahd. He puts his hands on the neat little writing desk here. Oh, you did awful, awful things. Robbed me and all of us. But me.

The skeleton looks over at you and it's a skull. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no emotion that can truly be displayed but you see a deep sadness you're um he took the sky from me i loved the sky you're um you remember in the wizard's tower there were uh instruments to document the stars And then up on this, in the temple, there's something tracking. And it's tracking. Hey, the thing that's tracking. Yes.

Upstairs, that ritual thing. Is it a 10,000 perhaps a year thing? Is it tracking when perhaps the… Very possibly, yes. When next something could be sealed away. Yeah, right. Okay. This place.

Okay, cool. It was older than where we are. You're Exathander, right? Yes. Exathander, that's your name? Yes, that is me. I am Exathander, the wizard. You owned a funny talking head. A bust.

He starts laughing. A friend. I became lonely when the stars were gone. Yeah, we found your tower. Is he good? He's doing wonderfully. I forgot him. I'm so sorry.

He didn't forget you. The lick sits down at the writing desk, puts like a wistful, like, oh no, just puts his hand to his temple, like he's thinking. So you came here with Strahd before he was a vampire? Yes, I was his wizard. Back when he was but a man. Why did you come here? What were you seeking? He...

Oh, before the deal, Strahd had become cruel. It was... It was to hurt, to harm. He was mad. Something about his brother. Yes, his brother. What was his name? Sergi.

Sergi. Sergi? Something of that. Sergi? Sergi, yes. I believe. Sergi, Sergi. Something like that.

Is he part of the Petrovna? Sergei's beloved. Was it Lydia? It's all so murky to me. I cannot remember. There was a grave, remember? Yes, yes. Have you seen instruments

to measure the stars? Where did I put them? Have we seen them? Yeah. They were in his tower. Yes. In your tower. I want them. To have them back even without the sky

to just hold them would feel nice, I think. You capable of leaving this place? No, no, no. I cannot leave. I should not leave. Though I do not remember. How big are the instruments?

They're bulky. They're uncomfortable to carry, but you can. Okay, okay. Spare a bit of a hike. A bit of a journey. A bit of a tour. I am currently,

and this is so funny if anyone goes back and re-listens to it when I described these instruments at first and you were asking me how big they were and I'm like

oh they're a bit uncomfortable to carry and I think your exact words were well we'll leave them here yeah at that exact moment I was laughing because I knew

fucking two years from now in recording time, this would come back to fucking haunt you. That's so funny. I was pissing myself laughing. Yes, we know where they are. You

want something. He wanted something. You came to this place for something, did you not? Yeah, for a few reasons. Something about you. Really wanted, for a few reasons. You have something about you. Really wanted to find a fire. Yes, and cruelty as well.

No. Yes, yes you do. Trying to save a little girl. Oh, Strahd fights for a cause as well. I don't want to be cruel. If you want peace, pursue it honestly. I don't want to be cruel. If you want peace, pursue it honestly.

I don't think he's cruel. I think he's just naive. If the people will not bend to your will, break them. If your foes number in the thousands, then let rivers of blood flow from your blade. Do nothing in half measures. Oh, stranger. He was so nice up

until now. You have done cruel things. Have I? You hate the Dusk Elves. I see. It's written upon your face. It's because they wouldn't... I do not hate them. Your allies.

I don't hate my allies. They... They quarrel to your dismay. They quarrel and they are frustrating, but that is what makes them... Strahd understood. If they will not bend to your will, break them. I don't want to break anybody. I want them to help. I want them to help each other because they want to help each other. Then, my friend, you have come to the wrong place to seek power. But I see the mistake. He looks you up and down like he can see what's happened to you. The mistake has already been made. I'm sorry.

Perhaps you are not like Strahd, though you look very much like him. Mistake? Did you say that out loud? Yeah, yeah, probably under my breath. though you look very much like him. Mistake. Did you say that out loud? Yeah, yeah, probably under my breath. All deals made within these walls carry a catch. Yeah. Though most people find they accept it in time. I didn't accept anything. It just happened.

By entering this place, you signed your name on the line. Never forget, you cannot wiggle out of this, but if you try, everything you have gained will be taken from you. Whatever you want, you will lose if you break your deal. I want to look like the Pip and Esme. I didn't make a

deal. They just, she just... Sometimes the deal makes you. Hey, that's okay. We've got a choice. Or I guess I have a choice. He bustles out some tea and biscuits for you. The biscuits are, I mean, they're not sweet. They're kind of more hardtack than biscuits,

but they're remarkably nice considering where you are. Tea too? The tea's fine, yeah. It's pretty classic black tea fair. But dude, that's better than the fucking piss water I've been drinking. Sugar? You have sugar. He takes out a little teeny tiny

wooden container and he opens it up and sure enough, inside there's sugar. You're the richest man in Barovia, you know that? He sits down and watches as you drink and eat. I no longer may enjoy or partake, but to see adventurers do so sometimes eases my burden. Is there having a sip of tea being like that?

Two years ago, perhaps three, I was taught how to attack a lich on sight. Right. So, just with a teacup. Chin, chin, chin. tackle Lich on sight. Right. It's Justin with a teacup. We'll see you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over.

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