D&D is For Nerds - Vampire Infested Barovia III #18 No Strings

Episode Date: June 8, 2024

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Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Though you see no water for miles around you, you are, like me, nonetheless maroon. We are castaways in this terrible bad dream somebody decided to name Barovia. To switch up the metaphor, we are imprisoned, and the fog is the bars of our cell, and our jailer is Baron Von Strahd. As far as I can tell, there's no way to escape other than possibly by dying. Maybe by being eaten by a wolf, let's say.

Somewhere to the northeast, the entity stirs. It's shifting, moving. Well, let's get to that camp and set a perimeter then. Like a deterrent, like the equivalent of leaving a ring of salt around to keep slugs out. Do we have holy water? Does Esme? Esme does not. God damn it.

Trying to think of something we could surround the camp with. I can, if you have some water, I can bless it. Oh yeah, well, probably not a bad idea. We might as well have that in our back pocket. If you have a vial of holy water, I can bless it. Oh, yeah. Well, it's probably not a bad idea. We might as well have that in our back pocket. If you have a vial of holy water, I can... I'll hand you a vial, just a vial of water.

You can bless that. And then otherwise we'll just have to stay quiet and hope to not attract its attention. Yeah, I'll... With the vial in hand, I'll cast bless ceremony. Ceremony, yeah. Yeah, nice. And to bless water. Okay, yeah. Does the water go wrong?

It happens. You offer a prayer to Peniel, I assume. That's how one normally does it. I think at this point, he's offering a prayer to whoever is listening. That's dangerous. That's a dangerous move here. Whoever's listening, you say.

To whoever's listening or to specifically Eileen, Pani, or the Morning Lord. You've got to be so distinct here. Because whoever is listening. If you offer up a prayer to anyone to bless the water, a bunch of, you feel a bunch of presence, a bunch of entities come forth. Crowding forward. I don't want to be the hermit crab here um yeah I think it'd be

one entity springs forth and you feel a promise of not holy water but a banishment for the right an entity springs forth and offers you literally something that will keep the right that bad I think knowing that where we are

probably like a the wording I feel would be a prayer to Penia or whoever is, or whoever that is. It's not being like whoever is listening. I understand. You know what I mean? It's like it's Penia or whoever

Penia is. Or whoever I or whoever I think that entity is that You know what I mean? It's like it's Pena. Whatever Pena is, I offer this prayer to Pena. Or whoever I think that entity is that is Pena. Or whoever is masquerading as Pena. Well, if you leave it even that open-ended, entities would propose themselves forth. As part of your prayer, you could feel entities proposing themselves forth. They're not Pena, and they're not pretending to be Pena. They're not pretending to be the Morning Lord. They're not pretending to be, they're not Pannier, and they're not pretending to be Pannier. They're not pretending to be the Morning Lord, they're not pretending to be

anything they're not. But, if you leave it in any way open-ended, entities come forth to offer themselves. That's creepy. A Pannier, if you will, is there, but all she's going to do

is make holy water. There are a bunch of entities are offering they'll offer you anything under the fucking sun You're effectively in a crowded market people grabbing at your coat One entity steps forth and is like, I will give you wraith repellent

What's the vibe of that entity? I imagine not great. It's keen to make a deal. Very keen to make a deal. Very keen. I'm going to go with the pennier that I know. Are you sure? This is the entity. Are you sure?

I'm going to go with the pennier I know and not the pennier I don't. Are you sure? Because I'm not asking for anything in return. That's not true. That's not true. the penny right now. Yeah, yeah. Are you sure? Because I'm not asking for anything in return. Oh, but they always, there's no such thing. That's not true. There's no such thing as a free lunch.

No such thing as a free lunch. My friend, this is a free lunch. This is the, obviously it's not using words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just,

not even emotion, it's just you know. There's no, literally, literally, there are no strings attached to, well.

There it is. There it Wow. There it is. There it is. There it is. All it wants, your end of the deal, is just saying yes to this deal. That's all it wants. It just wants you to say yes. It just wants you to say yes to this deal. That's where it gets its enjoyment.

It's wraith repellent on one side. You've got to regret it. God damn, fuck this temple, dude. I hate it so much. No, no, no. Look, Hector, he's a little miffed. He's a little annoyed. He just doesn't know what he's dealing with,

and this thing isn't even pretending to be what it is that he thinks. It's not even trying to trick him. It's not even trying to trick him here. Well. It's even more suspicious that he's not trying to trick you. Exactly. A piece of shit comes

and is a piece of shit. You understand. And then when that piece of shit acts nice, you're like, oh, wow. I'm suspicious. I'm suspecting because I'm like, well, there's probably an alternative motive, right? But where someone who I was thinking was nice.

Yeah, absolutely. Something there. Something there. Don't trust him. Don't trust it. I'm just going to go with regular holy water. It's like, all right, but the deal remains open. Because it knows you're going to need the Wraith Water.

I'm here. I'm here when you're ready. I like this Danny DeVito. All right, yeah. Channel just regular Hollywood into the vial, and here's a vial of Hollywood. You do a slightly altered version of the prayer of the dawning sun, which is the classic ceremonial gesture

that you make when you're making holy water. You bless the rising sun. It is currently setting, but not worried too much about that. At the rising sun, you maybe turn away from, a little irony there, you turn away from the setting sun towards where the sun would rise. You offer a prayer, and instead of using the word penia, you maybe hesitate,

and you just say, or any entity like her or something. You know, you word it. So penia, or whoever is being penia. You would have, in addition to a holy symbol, you would have a, every member of your order has this. It's a coin. Oh, is Pena, her representation is a sun, right? Yes.

So, it would just be, yeah, instead of maybe, instead of saying Pena, it would maybe just say the sun. Okay. Oh, that's nice, yeah. Every member of your order has this. You keep it somewhere deep, hidden away on your person. You have a coin. The coin on one side has a

blazing sun, and on the other side, it has written in an ancient script, With the dawn, we remember her. With the dawn, we remember. You dunk the coin into the water, and then with the rippling

little pools outwards, it becomes holy water. I guess I'll put the stopper back on, hand it back to you. Thank you. Do you have another vial, just in case we need to cast it again? And more, I guess, is better.

Yeah, I've got another vial. I'll hand it over to you. Then I'd like to just... I believe you're casting this as a ritual, I assume. I assume ceremony can be cast as a ritual. I did not know that. It just doesn't take up a spell slot when you do that. If that's true, then great.

It just takes an extra ten minutes in addition to the normal casting time. Can't do it as a ritual. It takes an hour. Yeah, an hour and ten minutes then. And then after the second blessed water, I assume you do a quick coming of age ceremony. Oh, yeah. You're a man now. Van Richten.

Oh, yeah. You're a man now. Van Richten. Van Richten, Pip, I am joining you together in holy matrimony. Oh, you both get a plus two to AC. Well, that would be nice. Getting married for AC benefits. For one week.

Oh, wow, that's not worth it. Well, if you love them, it is. That one right now might be worth it. Yeah, that's true. Just saying. We'll think about it. You'd be surprised it yeah that's true just saying we'll think about it you'd be surprised how little that's gonna help and I can cast I uh

I can so I can cast it as a not as a ritual and is it instantaneous say later on no it casts so to cast it as a ritual

yeah takes one hour ten minutes to cast it normally takes one hour so I was gonna say if I need maybe that wraith banishment oh the wraith banishment you don't need to do the ceremony spell like yeah okay okay say, if I need maybe that Wraith Banishment. Oh, the Wraith Banishment?

You don't need to do the ceremony spell. Yeah, okay. Just in case I need, like, a ripcord to make a deal there. The entity is happy to come whenever, however you are. Just wondering if that's, like, I need to use that if things are dire. It's nice that I've got a little button there. Just that's all. I would like to, with the holy water, make like a ring around the camp.

Sure. Will it freeze? In time, yeah. Yeah. Not straight away, but yeah, in time. Because if I can make a ring of holy water

around the camp. It probably won't take that long as well. That's kind of what I'm thinking. Then at least we've got some kind of, the dream is that it comes close

and like a slug upon salt, it turns face and leaves. Or it sees this and gets angry. Yeah, well, that's like a slug that hates salt. She's like, I'm going to get mad at people who put their salt here. Yeah, those motherfuckers. How does this wraith sense us?

I think it probably knows we're here. I think it psychically just... It has dark fusion and true sight out to 120 feet, but it doesn't have any sort of tremor sense-like ability, so it needs line of sight. It can't see through stone, basically. What does truesight do? Truesight means that magical illusions don't work on it.

It can see into the ethereal plane as well, but it still wouldn't be able to see through stone, so it needs to physically see us. Okay. Okay. Okay. What's that? God, I made a powerful, powerful creature.

Oh, boy. So, can we outrun it? What do we? No. I'm assuming that you... It is immune to everything except force and radiant damage. Yeah. Immune. Immune to everything except force and radiant damage. Immune.

Immune to everything except those two types of damages. And it is resistant to those two types of damages. If you willingly choose to sacrifice your life to help others escape, you can remove the resistances, but everything else stays the same. So force and radiant are the only two types of damage that it really will respond to. It's immune to basically everything else. The dream is to not fight it. That's really what we want to be doing.

Correct. Can we check the bridge, or is that like a bit of a journey? No, you can check the bridge pretty easily, yes. Just have a look to see what state it's in, basically. You see that it is like I've previously stated, it's a drawbridge and it's currently in its up position. The up position is on the other

side. Cool, cool, cool. No worries. If you wander over there, you can see that last guard, the one who told you where your equipment is, is still standing there. He looks out at you and he would be wearing, because it's really fucking cold up here,'s wearing like everything except maybe just his little glint of his eyes

is covered swaddled in cloth upon cloth upon cloth with the howling wind you can't even fucking hear each other so he just pulls the scarf covering his face down and you see he mouths something trying to make it out

get a good boy card he mouths tomorrow I give him a thumbs up mouths something. Okay. Trying to make it out. Get a good boy card. Hubba hubba. He mouths tomorrow. Okay. I give him a thumbs up. He nods. Whoa, I succeed in a skill check. Nice.

That will become useful. All right. I'll return to the camp and explain to everybody. Okay. Tomorrow. Tomorrow the drawbridge will be down. On your way back to the camp. Yeah.

Before you get... When you get into... There's a little set of stairs that go away from the bridge which curl up into the large platform where to the north is the temple to the south is van richten's camp and then in the center of that little space is the statue that statue that whispered to heck yeah yeah when i was gonna die yeah yeah the statue turns to look at you, Pip, and then turns away. I steal myself and just ignore it to the best of my ability. Okay.

It doesn't move any further. Pip's no fool. Yeah. And I'll rejoin everybody. Yeah. The guard is still there. He says tomorrow the drawbridge will be down. So if we can survive the night, we can get back.

We've got the holy water. Hopefully that will deter the wraith. So, Van Richten, you camped here a night or two? I believe I camped here for one week. Hard to remember. It was so long ago. And how did you avoid it? Elementary.

You'll learn this quick smart, he says. Sit up straight. I sit up straight. Were you sitting at all, actually? Yeah, I reckon. When Pip comes back in, if you're sitting, Hector, Van Richten, he doesn't strike you, but with his cane, he slams it next to you.

Stand up when your mentor's around. I don't care if he sits. He can sit. Strange. Well, he's your mentee. I look at Pip, but I look back at Van Richten and I stay standing. As a good boy, good manners. Right.

Yeah. It's important to have good manners. As we were taught with Gregory Bones, right? Yeah. You're a Bonesian? Yeah. I start rubbing my snout. Van Richten pulls out a medallion.

It's a little skeleton doing a I couldn't possibly gesture. I don't pull out mine. Yes, he was raised in a monastery, correct? Yeah. Not practicing. I was not practicing. I'm not practicing. Not practicing. Right, right.

Lapsed. Lapsed bones in. I suppose I'm a lapsed bones. Well, all are welcome at the eternal dinner table, of course. Yes, they are. That is true. All are welcome. And yet, there are so many requirements. And yet, there are so many requirements. And yet there are so many requirements.

Well, that's just doctrine. For the faith. The point is, if we can make it through. In the cities, he turns to you, Hector. In the cities, it tends to be a little looser. The monasteries, they're where the hard cases live. Or the hard castles, if you catch my drift. I laugh with him.

Pip. Good boy. He's angry. What I've reverted back to. He doesn't want any of this. You'll find that with a lot of religions. You'll learn that once you get travelled. Where have you been? I say I've been all over

most of Kandor and a little bit, I think, into the – like down more sort of Fairburn Point way. Yes. Kind of off the coast of – Well, you'd know about strict doctrine then, wouldn't you? Candor's run is basically a theocracy from my understanding. I nod. Yeah.

Yes, they have the two schools of, I guess, the knighthood. You've got the knight of the god, you know, the cloth knight of the crown. Crown, yes. And both held equal or different kind of power. A bunch of stuffed shirts, you ask me. He slams his cane on the ground again. Not just for emphasis. Yeah, just for emphasis.

It's a good punctuation. Yeah, if I'm beginning to come to that point of thinking. With eight strength, he hits the ground so hard. I imagine it's so loud every time and always a shock somehow. We all somehow, yeah, for going up, standing straight to standing straight. Yeah. Yes, yes, I'm beginning to understand that there's definitely something. Anyway, I've forgotten myself, please.

I've gone silly, silly with age. Yes, how did you secret yourself or make sure that you didn't get... Well, wraiths are, as we might know, attracted to the living. They seek it out. Me, little old me, so close to death already, they barely, it, I should say, barely took a notice to me, but with a couple of young sports here and then, of course, myself and Pip, the four of us together,

well, we're kind of like a beacon a little bit. So I didn't need to do much on my own, but we will need to do something together. Is there something, some strategy to splitting up? There might be. Alternatively, we could make a undead bane, a potion of sorts, like what you did, or what you attempted

with the holy water. I've never known holy water to repel a wraith, though. Curious. There's no malice. He's just genuinely Assuming you know something he doesn't Yeah yeah yeah for sure

Um Yes maybe undeadbane is the right idea I think if we split up that's just asking to be Picked off one by one Well I mean if you don't have the What do you have bring it out I pull out my whole kit Do you have

I've got one death Knight's Woe fungus. He picks up the Death... It's looking pretty sad. He picks up the Death Knight's Woe. This is a good start. We... What should we need? Do you have any explosive?

Yeah. Is there any merit in... Do you have anything that perhaps tries to... I don't know. I know there are spells I don't have access to, but we can appear like we are dead. You mean feign death? Yes, something like that, but a concoction. Were I younger, perhaps, I might have been able to pull off such a thing at such a time.

But right now, I'm sorry, but these weary old bones are too close to death itself to fake it. I'm sorry but these weary old bones are too close to death itself to fake it I fear if I try any harder than this I might become it again yes I was wondering if there is some sort of concoction you can make that might appear

I just don't think I'd have enough for all of us unfortunately I have a bunch of stones that could act explosively. Some sapphires. Sapphire, yes. That should be great. Excellent. I'll take a sapphire.

All right. I'll give you a sapphire. And then we'll need something. Death Knight's glow. A special source, as it were. Do you have hounding killer hands? I reach into my bag, Adam, and I pull out my little sack of 33 hounding killer hands. We fought a bunch of hands earlier. It's actually the thing I have the most of.

All right. This, upon this, we shall build our castle, he says. Hounding killer hands. He shakes the bag at you, Hector. Hounding killer hands. He shakes the bag at you. Hector? Yes? Force damage. Right.

Right. And adhesive. It'll grip to your weapon as well. Waste of hounding killer hands to use it as adhesive, I suppose, if you grind it, right? He fucking hates me. I don't know what you're doing. Well, you make the potion then. So you can...

I was assuming I would. So you can use the hand... He starts making the potion. Okay, so you use a... More of a salve, really. Right, so you can use... And so there are... Well, for basics,

there are obviously three different types of alchemical concoctions one can make. A grenade, a potion, and an oil for weapons. Yes. But then in addition to that, one can make, well, one can make salves. One can make rings, a temporary binding to a ring. Something about the circular nature of it makes it inherently alchemically powerful. All right.

Allows one to make quick ones if one needs. Did Hardcastle explain that one to you? The school of the gentlemen is sort of on the fly. Right. It's not. Well, look, Hardcastle was a tough nut to crack. He maybe wasn't the most academically inclined, but he was a good teacher and a good man. And if you, Pip, studied under him,

I trust that you are every bit the monster hunter he is. Is there any, I guess, with the different schools of monster hunting, do you guys ever, I guess, share notes or learn from each other or perhaps adopt some of the… Most do. There's a convention once a year, actually. Hardcastle never really made it to those. He was.

He closely guarded his secrets. Yes. You both do air quotes his secrets. Yes. You both do air quotes, his secrets. Yeah. All of his secrets came from a book, right? Yeah. His secret is to read the book and not tell anyone, but it's a book. His book?

Like his manual? No, no. I don't think hard. I mean, he liked to... When he came to a place, if there was information, he would seek it out. But somehow,

he's still the sort of character that you might question if he was literate. Oh, no. No, I remember. It's the R system. Alphabetize. I know the R system.

Alphabetize. Yes, I know the R system. Worked with Hardcastle a few times. the arse system. Yes, I know the arse system. Worked with Hardcastle a few times. He slams the cane again, but there's definitely like a rather than the firm crack, there's kind of like a wobbliness to his arm this time.

He's trying to dispel something. Get rid of some vibes. He's trying to get rid of some vibes. I worked with Hardcastle a few times. He, uh... I mean, you'll never find a more committed monster hunter. That, I will give the man. We should have a funeral.

We had a funeral. You already did. Oh. Yes. Wow. What was his religion? This entire time, Esmeralda has been very busy.

Van Richten, the second Esmeralda is done with a job, Van Richten gives her the next job. She barely has time to do anything. You can see, though,

she's clearly really excited. Anytime she is given a new job, she works with gusto. And you're not 100% sure if this is Van Richten on purpose or if this is Van Richten

on purpose or if this is just happy coincidence but you realise that Esmeralda is being kept so busy her impatience

just doesn't manifest oh that's so funny yeah I'm liking Van Richten he's keeping some of the party members already in order I like it

I like it it's like tapas with Corbin Lushing You know you're kind of pairing them off Then one takes care of the other You're not my problem anymore So what religion was I believe Hardcastle worshipped the stone

As all dwarves must I like the implications in must. There's a lot of glut going on here. Yes. Though he wasn't terribly religious. Concerned more with sort of the traditions of the Hardcastle than anything else. Hardcastle's mother.

Now there was a strickler for a religious institution. What a woman. So I look into like Ben Richter and look at the pips, look at what you said. Pips is getting a thousand yards there right now. Yeah, a lot of this is starting to make sense. If things shake out that way and you need someone to come with you to the hard castle to deal with the family, I'll happily help. I'll write you the letter either way, though. Maybe I'll meet you there.. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data

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I'll take first watch. How about? Very well then. If you want, when there's a bit of karma, we can do a... I say a few words for you. I've said my words. Thank you though, Hector. Hardcastle was not the kind of man... He would have seen a second funeral as frivolous.

I wasn't saying... Job's done. On that much we agree. I barely think one funeral's enough. Sorry, too much. Whatever I mean. One funeral's too many, he says. That's what he actually says.

Anything else was Adam. For sure, for sure, for sure. All right, so what are you doing with the hands? Well, we're going to make a... This entire time, he's been mushing up all the hands. He's making some sort of poultice. Poultice is... It's like a potion, but a poultice is thick.

You need to add a bit of... You see every now and then he's grabbing a pinch of cornstarch and he's chucking it into the mix. Cornstarch to thicken it up. Give it a nice paste-like... Yeah, like you're making a stew. cornstarch to thicken it up give it a nice paste like countenance like you're making like a stew

right I call it more like a dough almost sometimes I even when I'm doing something like this I'll crack an egg into it

see what that does protein can't hurt alchemy and baking one and the same I've always said. Actually, I might have said that once. There's a lot of similarities between alchemy and cooking. It's not completely inaccurate.

I know you keep talking about your scones. Yeah. Tell me, what monastery of bones did you come from? The Mandarin one? No, we're named, I'm named Mandarin because I turned up in a crate of mandarins, or in a mandarin crate. Should be put mandarin, but here we are. So just a little out of the way.

How did you meet Hardcastle? I suppose he met me. Really? Right. He was chasing a griffon. How did you meet Hardcastle? I suppose he met me, really. Right. He was chasing a griffon, and the griffon made his way to the monastery, and there I was. And then after that, well, we both left together. Right, right. The brothers weren't happy about it.

My brothers weren't happy about it, but I had to go. You have brothers. Yeah, I got brothers. I got that watch. I'll be taking that watch right now. But first, of course, dinner. Right. Supper, perhaps, is a better term. He checks

a watch out of... He takes a pocket watch out of his pocket, checks it, and then puts it back. Yes, supper. Time for supper. Yes. Scones? Anyone? I would then puts it back. Yes, supper. Time for supper. Yes. Scones, anyone? I would love a scone. Yes, that'd be great.

He, from one of the, from like inside a handkerchief, he begins producing scones for everyone. He also makes some tea. I eat. Yeah. But I get a dark expression. It's, this would be very, I mean, you already know this, but this would be very reminiscent of your time back in the monastery. Oh, absolutely. I don't know if, so the tea and scones would be to the highest possible quality.

So they're very nice. It's very nice tea. Hector, I'm sure you're just enjoying it. It's very nice tea. It's very nice scones. But like I said, this would be very reminiscent of the monastery. So the quality might not matter too much to you. Oh, no, not at all.

It's like ash in my mouth, the tea and scones. Oh, that's a sad thing. That's so very sad. So, Pip, I thought Mandarin was more of a... It's not that common? No, it's not a common surname. Oh, you have a brother named Hank. Yeah. Oh, I was in correspondence with him, weirdly.

When? Yes, before this. He's managing one of the mercenary groups I was trying to get to investigate what was happening without trying to show my hand too much. Is he well? He seemed well enough, yes. He has beautiful handwriting. I guess, well, you also have. He would be.

I'm glad Hank's doing well. Yes, yes. There's a lot of bitterness. Yeah, that's heavy. There would be. I'm glad Hank's doing well. Yes, yes. There's a lot of bitterness. Yeah, that's heavy. There's a great deal of bitterness. That's some heavy shit right there. You didn't have good terms with Hank? No, Hank was always very delightful.

He's a lovely guy. Extremely friendly. Yes, it came across in the letters. Unscathed, you could describe him as being. Yes, he was always... Very cheery guy. Chewing a scone. He's...

What mercenary company? He's an accountant. Yes, he was accountant for the Greyhill Free. Oh, the Greyhill Free Company. Yeah, I think I've heard of them. Rascals. Well, I suppose you're taking first watch then? That's right, finally.

I put down the tape, barely drunk, and then I go away from the camp into the darkness to take a very bitter, prickly first watch. I look to Van Richten, maybe, and maybe I... If you go away from the camp, you know you're going to start freezing. Oh, God damn it. Well, I go away enough that it's clear I'm no longer part of the group. Really, really...

The temperature drops off almost immediately. Well, then my distance from the group is perfunctory. You just turn away. I turn around, give everybody my back. Maybe mouth. Something like, did I just offend him? I don't know. I didn't mean to.

How could you have possibly known, my friend? Pip, you hear this. I'm so close. My friend, let me tell you something I learned when I was a mentee to my mentor. You will learn. Most useless fucking thing. Just turning nothing. Looking back over.

Yeah, I guess I will learn. Is there anything that I can do to help with the... Adjust it at the hands? As you're saying that, the entire time it has been howling, gusting wind, and you've been mostly covered. But the building that you're in, the walls are not complete, there is no roof. It begins picking up to a furious degree, and snow starts falling down around you.

Oh, he's cold. Van Richten and you both set up a little, like, lean to, not just to keep yourselves out of the snow, but also to protect the fireplace. It's part of the wall. There's, you know, a proper fireplace there. But the fireplace is so broken away that the wind is, it's threatening to snuff out the flames.

And if you don't have this fire tonight, you will die. That is an Adam guarantee a little fucking seared steak Adam guarantee I will kill you tonight if you don't have a fire

so yeah you and Van Richten make sure that the fire will it'll still need to be tended to, but whoever's on watch can do that And then you cuddle in, oh that's right, and Van Richten finishes the poultice, and then over where you put the holy water, he smears the poultice, as he's doing so

this is right before he goes to bed, as he's doing so he says, this it'll strike out at the wraith when it approaches, and it should only strike out at the wraith, and it approaches, and it should only strike out at the Wraith, and it will continue to do so for some time. Kind of like a static generator.

I don't know what that means, but I nod. That's over Pipsat, too, but he nods as well. I understand the principle, but what is static? As a... Generator? Oh, that's not a question. You don't want to talk about no no no

in any case we should hear the cracking that'll wake us up that'll wake us up real good and then well then

we will fight or die it's the best we can come up with with what we have unfortunately your mentor didn't have

much to work with presumably he's been busy yeah yes we have. Unfortunately, your mentor didn't have much to work with. Presumably, he's been busy. Yeah, yes, we have. I could fill you in at some point if you'd like. Esmeralda collapses in a heap, quite clearly fucking exhausted. It worked.

Van Richten leans over to you, Pip, and says, we'll have her take the final watch. Sounds like a good idea. I suppose then, he looks at you, Hector, but you see he hesitates and he looks back at you, Pip. Would you like Hector to take second watch? I can if you'd like.

Well, you might need your sleep. You're pretty fucked. I'll take first watch, then Hector, then you, then Esme. He's standing, so it's not like... When he was sitting down before, it was a lot of... Yeah, there was a lot of force because he had a lot of momentum and he was using the handle of the cane. But when he just...

When he's holding the cane properly for balance and he slams the point down, there's a lot less impact to it. Yeah, yeah, fair, fair. But he does that. He does that little slam and he says, Capital! Alright then. I'll see you in the morn. Yeah, get some rest. Until such a time, sayonara.

Good night. Okay. Pip. At one point in the night, you see a figure in the darkness stalking towards you. It's hunched over. It's wearing some sort of cloak. It has a hood over its head and it's got a staff. It's approaching you from the north.

Does it seem tangible? It does seem physical, yes. You can see the wind is whipping at the robes, and the entity needs to lean against the wind to move. It's not the wraith. Do the robes look like the robes the monks were wearing? They look similar, yeah. Okay.

I'll probably shake everybody awake. Letting you know that you would be, like, because of the snow, the howling wind in the snow, and the darkness as well, you would be, like, maybe less than 30 feet away from it, so you're turning your back to it when it's real close. Well, I'll call out in the darkness, then. All right, to it? Yeah in the darkness then. All right. To it? Yeah. What do you say?

Hail. The entity stops, turns, pulls back its hood, and you can see that it's the lich. Oh. Ah. Stranger. What are you doing out of your hole? What's that? Out of your hovel.

Out of your hovel. Greetings. Who is there? We met in the temple, but I don't suspect you'll remember me. Pip. Greetings Who is there? We met in the temple but I don't suspect you'll remember me Pip Mandarin What kind of man are you Pip? I am a dragonborn

Clever? Are you strong? Somewhat Are you fast? Maybe Am I close enough that with one hand keeping an eye on him I could be like... You can start waking people up, yeah.

Maybe I'm slapping Hector in the face. Wise? Hector, wake up. Yeah? Sure. No. Perhaps you're just a dead man. And then the skeleton turns back.

You see the retreating figure of something. Never mind. Go back to sleep. Okay. It's fine. My watch's not over. Throughout the rest of your watch, every now and then,

you can see a shape, a silhouette moving in the darkness. What's he doing? Go home. I just make sure he's not a threat at all, but I don't care. He can wander. That's fine.

Your watch is eventually done. And then you wake Hector. Yep. All right. Hector, but I don't care. He can wander. That's fine. Your watch is eventually done. And then you wake Hector. Hector, you're up. Do we have the golem there? Is the golem? Oh, yes. That's right. The golem is just silently standing watch. If you want, you can get

Van Richten to give you the amulet, but you get the impression that it's very dangerous to use yeah it was van richten feels confident but anyone else yeah i think it would have been a conversation whoever's on what should they have the amulet yes if something goes awry but then again if van richten's any like no no no yeah van richten well van richten tells you no yeah yeah but pip if you might have some no no pip doesn't want to mess with that okay well just yeah Van Richten feels like

he outranks you Hector of course he does so he does if you say anything he just doesn't listen if it's more of a question

of like what do we do is this okay and if he's like I'll I'll I'll I would recommend that only a practiced

seasoned hunter should be holding this amulet myself or of course your mentor yes Pip Pip no I'm I think it's you want me to call you sir hunter should be holding this amulet. Myself or, of course, your mentor? Yes, Pip. No, I think it's... You want me to call you sir? I really, really don't.

Why not? Not my style. What did you call Hardcastle? I called him Hardcastle. Or Durek. Yeah, you keep the amulet van richten that's fine oh fuck too funny

you're right that rovio really is these little moments that you can just kind of you know little moments of joy these little moments of little creature comfort, these little jabs between friends. That's really what makes up the joy of Brovure is just getting into each other. Just a little catty bob that they can't do anything about. It's going to be good. So I'm rolling the encounter dice, am I at?

Yes, rolling the encounter dice. What's bad? The higher the worse. So 14 is higher than 11. Yeah, but 10 or 9. What's bad? The higher, the worse. So 14 is higher than 11. Yeah, but not so high. Oh, come on, dude. Don't make us do a thing before we fight the wraith. Fuck.

Maybe we won't fight the wraith. Maybe we'll just fight whatever this is. Or this might be the wraith. Buddy. This list should probably be one thing. Okay, Hector, you've got the worst one. Oh, this might be the Wraith. Buddy. This list should only be one thing. Okay, Hector, you've got the worst one. Oh, no. You say, well, the worst one's the Wraith.

Yeah. So is it the Wraith? What do you mean? Is what the Wraith? The worst one. Oh, no, I mean the worst. Sorry, passive perception. It gets closer before you see.

Brother. Okay, so I've got good news and I've got bad news. Which do you want first? Bad news. Always bad news. The little circle that Van Richten made, it flares red, and then everyone is awoken. If you're not asleep, you are awoken by the sound of a whip crack.

As Hector, your vision is so poor right now that you don't even see what it strikes. It just strikes something. The wraith takes five points of damage and combat begins. Oh, fuck, man. Remind me, because it's not really a long rest, a short rest, but that only really kicks in at the end of it. If you get interrupted, it doesn't count. Oh, you're lucky.

Everyone got a good initiative. Except one person. Van Richten is up first. He moves really quickly, but you see that he literally needs the cane. As I've said previously, he's up, but it's like he's faster than he is strong. He's standing and he calls out, scatter. That's our best bet right now.

And then Van Richten turns and slowly hobbles in one direction. Pip, it's your turn. Okay. So obviously one of the ways to damage it is genuine sacrifice, but also Emmanuel... Get a good boy card. Thank you. You can see it. Hector, you still can't.

Standing just out of the reach of light, the campfire's light. Maybe, actually, you can see the light kind of falls around it, like the light is afraid to touch it. There is a figure. around it like like the light is afraid to touch it there is a figure imagine it it's like yeah it's like a to paint you an image if you will imagine a classic animation where someone's drawing the animation except it's not drawn it's painted yeah it's a series of

paintings and rather than being 24 frames a second, it's maybe 10 frames a second. You can see every single one of those paintings is a different ghostly visage of a person. But every single time, the person shifts and changes, but the eyes always stay the same place. Maybe the eyes are in different parts on the body as well. So sometimes if someone's short, the eyes might be just above their head. If someone's particularly tall, the eyes might be on their chest,

but the eyes are a fixed spot in time and space. The features on its body changes like a kaleidoscope. Okay. Except it's all just grays and blacks. Okay. Okay. I'm going to try something. I'm going to make a potion.

Okay. I would like to combine ghost touch. I would like to combine abaloth mucus. And then I would like to crush in, I don't know if I can do this with a rock, but I'd like to crush in an amethyst. What's the purpose of the potion? rock but i'd like to crush in an amethyst what's the purpose of the potion so emmanuel talks about uh a connection that the wraith must have to the negative plane yeah and that if i can plug that hole i will be able to like rob it of some of its powers that hole is a is a place uh it has been

hypothesized by more learned minds than mine that for there to be a being of pure negative energy there must be a link to the plane of negative energy through where the way to find how to plug such a hole is beyond this rider. Okay. So does that mean it's connected in some way to a plane of energy that I could sever theoretically? No, it means that there is a hole somewhere. Yeah. And that if you can find and plug that hole, then it lights out. Would the hole be nearby?

Yes. Okay. Well, then basically the purpose of this potion is I would like to be able to drink it and gain insight into the ethereal plane. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So the Aboleth Music Mucus is for psychic powers. The Ecto Bloom is for ghost touch to get me in there.

And then the Amethyst is for mental warding because I'm going to be on its home turf. Okay, okay. Yeah, I like that. I like that. What's the card? I see it. Okay, if you play that card, I'll say this potion automatically succeeds.

All right. It does exactly what you want it to do. Not just for one round. It's the potion does what you want it to do. All right. Yep. So you see the wraith, and then behind the wraith you can

see a cord. The cord is made out of not made out of any one thing. It's made out of whatever Pip thinks it's made out of. Okay. Well my first thought was like fucking guts. Sure, yeah. Like it's got snagged on something at some

point and is peeling away its internal organs. Whether or not you Pip know that this is manifesting as whatever you think it is, is irrelevant. It manifests as whatever you think it is. There is a cord stretching back from the Wraith northwards. Not into the building that you were in, but into that place where the Wraith stays during the daytime. Okay, alright. Awesome. You'd have to go around the wraiths.

Yeah, I'd have to get attack of opt by the wraith. You could do a wider berth and not get attack of opt. Yeah, but then my... Oh, actually, no, wait. You know what you can do? Climb through the fireplace. That's going to be a crazy move for everyone else to see. All right, so making the potion, drinking the potion.

That's my action, yeah. Well, no, no, no. You have your movement left. Maybe I'll go up the fireplace, Adam. You can start going now. It's not a very high fireplace, so you're not going to be in it for long. You will need to make a check, though. Yeah, yeah.

No! Natty won! You got anything for a... So Nat 1 is not an automatic failure, it just means that you get in total What's your athletics Let's use extra skilled I'll succeed on a skill check

Okay yeah Is that a waste It happens You climb through the fireplace Yeah No damage Alright sweet You're out the other side

And you start sprinting northwards Alright that's your movement And then it is Esme's turn Esme does as she's told by Van Richten She scarpers but in a different direction. So if Van Richten went west, she's going east. The wraith is roughly, imagine your campsite. And then there is a window that Esme, or was once a window, which Esme has kind of leapt out of.

And then a slightly less than chest high wall, which Van Richten very gingerly climbed over. And then Pip has escaped northwards through the fireplace. Hector, you are still standing. And the wraith is just to your southeast, if that makes sense. I can't see it yet. No, you can't see it. That's right. You can't see it.

That's right. You can't see it. There's walls all around you. And then that was Esme's turn. It's the Wraith's turn. Odds or evens? That's my favorite game. Me too.

I'm going to go evens. Yeah. Evens? Oh, actually, wait. No, sorry. I was going to... I just remembered. I thought of a new fun way to do luck checks.

Okay. Okay. All right. What's my favorite color? I'm his favorite color. Fuck. Let's see. I think we can eliminate some.

I don't think it is yellow. Well, I don't know. I'm going to write it down now. I don't think it's red. I'm going to write it down now so you don't think I'm cheating. I don't think it's red. I want to go with like a blue or a green Yes, me too

I don't know why I feel like green maybe I was also thinking green but it's going to be great when it's yellow Alright, I've written it down so now you know I won't have cheated Is it like something like purple?

Yeah, is it maybe not such a boring color not such a primary color Magenta? Is he a magenta man? Like a turquoise or a lavender? Cyan? Oh, damn it could be orange no okay fair enough fair enough your style speaks volumes i'm just imagining okay favorite color what does adam wear a lot of he wears a lot right now he's wearing like a hawaiian shirt

a beautiful multi-colored so annoying you don't get points for compliments i'm not trying to compliment you that's a different version of this i just happen to like the shirt yeah it's a beautiful multicolored shirt. It's so annoying. You don't get points for compliments. I'm not trying to compliment you. That's a different version of this. I just happen to like the shirt. Yeah, it's a nice shirt. Thank you. Yeah, so I'm like, what do we see most in? Green? It's kind of dark green.

Yeah, we're going to go with green. Green? Yeah. Oh, fuck. The correct answer was blue. God damn it. So close. God damn it.

Yeah, sorry, buddies. All right, God damn it. Yeah, sorry, buddies. All right, you get unlucky. Yeah, that's fair. The wraith lunges for you. And, oh, boy. Oh, brother. Mm-hmm. Oh, boy.

Knowing your favorite color was so important. It was. It was good. Say something different. Look, we got it down to two. Yeah, we were close. It was a 50-50. First attack hit.

Can I cast Shield as a reaction? Okay, that gives you plus five AC. Sure does. Okay, so your AC is 23. First attack hit. No. Second attack hit. Jesus Christ.

Third attack hit. Jesus Christ. Critical hit. Okay, cool. We do have a turn. No, I don't think we do Damage I need a dice roller

It's the start of your next turn 5 feet Yeah you're fucked I can ignore damage from one attack Oh that's true He hit me how many times? He hit you 4 times So I think instead of this, right?

This whole like, ha, one attack. There's these, back from the dead. Yeah, I think that's the move. That's the move. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, man. You want, yeah. I was laughing at that before.

We have all of the not dead yet, I'm pretty sure. Because we just know if you want it, you've got to stockpile them. You've got to stockpile them. They're going to come in handy. So, Hector, the wraith drifts towards you. Wait, what happened? You see it a split moment before it happens. Oh, fuck.

Adam. Hector, you take... Okay, let's do some math here. All right. Hector, you take... Okay, let's do some math here. All right. Hector, you take 165 points of damage. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And you need to make four constitution-saving throws or your hit points are reduced by that amount permanently.

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