D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #1 That's a Nice Coat

Episode Date: July 12, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes introduce us to their fantasy doppelgängers, begin their epic adventures in the city of Edgegate and quickly realise just how out of their depth they are. Jackson becomes the wizard Krifpum Pumkrif, Zammit morphs into Halfling rogue Leo Shadow and Alli attempts to bring a touch of class as Princess Ansley Foggyfeather. We get to know this trio of unlikely friends as they start fights in a local tavern and meet a mysterious stranger who has unknown plans for our brave heroes. Krifpum Pumkrif amuses simple farm folk with even simpler magic, Princess Ansley pinches a stranger’s bum and Leo just wants to get a room with a shower. So listen in as the gang question their sanity, steal their gold back and get to know the world that is Dungeons and Dragons. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SansPence Radio, Chimera, I hardly know her. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table discussing how many hit points their character has, but that's exactly what we're going to do today. I'm Jackson Bailey, and I don't know who I'll be playing. This is Ali Kathleen. Hello! In a similar predicament. Joel Zammett.

G'day. The same. And our illustrious and handsome DM, Adam Crabapple. That's not my name. Previously on D&D is for Nerds. It's our first episode. Shut the fuck up. So we're going to be playing Dungeons & Dragons.

This is 3.5 edition. I know some of you lovely ladies out there love some other editions, but this is the one we'll be playing. These numbers mean nothing to me, but go on. Not at all. I vaguely understand. Jackson, the only person who's played before. So don't worry, you've got the character sheets in front of you.

Don't worry too much if the numbers don't mean a lot to you right now. As we go along, you'll start, it's sort of like a learn-as-you-go type deal. For the most part, I'll be there to guide you. as we go along you'll start it's sort of like a learn as you go type deal for the most part i'll be there to you know guide you uh so we'll probably just go around and everyone can introduce their characters uh my name is uh is uh griff pom pom griff uh i was a wit like a wizard like like a chris is it griff pom griff k-r-i-f-p-u-m-p-u-m-k-r-U-M P-U-M-K-R-I-F I've got the benefit of oh no I was going to say I have the benefit of having my name

spelt the same forward and backwards but it doesn't because backwards my name is Mopferk but I was a wizard for a noble court or at least I tried out to see if I could be a wizard for a noble court

but alas my spells were no good because I'd been taught the wrong ones as a joke. And so I did not get the position and I guess I turned to being a sellsword. I'm a half-elf, which is great. Yeah, and a wizard. And like everybody else, I'm level one. Oh, no one else is level one yet.

Oh, it says here I'm level one. Oh, no one else is level one yet. It says here I'm level 28. And it's everybody fight Jackson. Hang on, wait, Jackson, you're a cat? Oh, yes. Oh, thank you. I have a cat called Jiggle Lump. Hang on. Jess?

Because I'm trying to write down your name so NPCs can address you correctly. What did you say the cat's name was? Jiggle Lump. So J-I-G-G-A Lump. Did you use the Pokemon name generator? That does sound like a Pokemon.

Jigalump. Whoa. That was fucked up. No, it's a cat. And I like to imagine it's like a fat cat that is just like, you know when somebody has a cat Eating lasagna? Yeah. It's Garfield. You know when somebody has a cat that you're like, you lasagna? Yeah, it's Garfield. You know when somebody has a cat that you're like, you overfeed that, do you feed that gravy?

And they're like, yeah, whatever, it's okay. It's my cat. It's like that. A little whiskers, a little gravy, smash it up. It's good. I got to treat him right. Gross. Like maybe he has respiratory problems.

So gross. That's old Jiggle Lump. Jiggle Lump is so sick. Jiggle-Omp, see a doctor. I have no healing spells. And I've got to save all my health potions for me, Jiggle-Omp. I'm sorry. All your health potion for me.

Yeah. Good, good. My name is Leo Shadow What a name I'm a level 1 rogue I'm a halfling I guess I'm a bit of a sellsword as well

Maybe had a bit of a falling out with the thieves guild, I'm guessing Maybe fucked up his initiation Didn't quite make it in there The thieves guild want you dead Oh no What did you do? maybe fucked up his initiation, didn't quite make it in there. The Thieves Guild want you dead. Oh, no. What did you do?

I just thought I didn't pass the exams, but this seems a bit more dire. I like the guy's like, you know, all right, so this is what you've got to steal, and you're like, I already stole your wallet, though. He's like, get the hell out of here. Bounty. Bounty on Leo. Fuck him up.

It's okay. You're on the run, and you're in a different country right now. Not going to catch you anytime soon. Good. That took a turn for the worse. I think we know each other? Yeah, you guys sell swords together. It's hard to find someone to

trust these days. If you can't find someone to trust, at least find a wizard or a rogue. All right. Go. Griff-pum. Griff-pum-pum-griff. I'm still unsure if I want my full name and only name. Not like Griff-pum space pum-griff,

but to be Griff-pum-pum-griff. People are just going to call you Griff. I can accept that. I'll call you Griff-pum-pum-pum-griff. That's what I want Leo I've added another pum Kriff pum pum pum Kriff

you're the best good was that it yeah I think so do you guys want to know about me Adam I'm also very handsome

oh that's good to hear you have a charisma of nine though I'm also not very handsome you can be very handsome but just not good with people Just beautiful people like

Hey and you're like Oh okay You could be dashingly handsome but a real dick to be around if you want I've got a charisma of 39 I can easily roleplay this Roleplay Adam said making air quotes

Oh joy So I am Princess Ainsley Foggy Feather role play, Adam said, making air quotes. Oh, joy. So I am Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. I'm sorry, you're going to have to like, there's several different layers to that that you need to repeat for me. Princess. Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. I have to say that with a straight face. Of the Foggyfeathers.

Princess Ainsley. How do you spell it, Ainsley? A-N-S-L-E-Y. A-I-N, isn't it? A, no, well, let's follow you spelling things wrong, if you like. Well, you know what? It's my universe, so your name magically has an I in it now. Well, no, A-N-S-L-E-Y.

So I'm Princess Ainsley Foggy Feather, who is probably maybe third, fourth daughter down the line, not really going to do much, so instead seeks a life of rebellion. So when I'm kidnapped by a wizard and some sort of assassin reject, I think that my life is going to turn out to be really fun. But I'm not very good at grasping the idea of rebellion, so I still kind of want to be royal.

So I kind of think we're hiding in a wet cave and you're like putting on your jackets and it'll be cold. Yeah, pretty much. When will dinner be served? Dinner is what you catch. So being the black sheep of the family, yeah, these guys come and kidnap me for some handsome ransom, but

my family is kind of like, well, we got three others. We kind of line them up. They're alright. So they don't really want me back. You live in a brutal kingdom. I know. We've all been

rejected. It's rough. We live in a brutal kingdom. Yeah. I know. We've all been rejected, guys. It's rough. Yeah. It's not great. Did we, like, just wait around in a cave for the ransom for, like, a good two months and be like, I don't think they're coming. I don't think they're going to give us the money.

And you're like, I think they will. I'm pretty sure they will. I mean, what if we get, like, two months? You're probably dealing with, like, a guard captain who thought that they were going to ransom, but, like, just wasn't kept in the loop. A couple months later, he comes to you and he's like, I don't know how to tell you this.

But the king said, and I quote, kill her. Oh, boy. So do we have like me and Griff? Griff Pompom Griff. Griff Pompom Pompom Griff. Griff Pompom Griff. So do we have like me and Kriff Kriff pom pom kriff Kriff pom pom kriff So we have like reverse Stockholm With Ainsley being like Nah you're our buddy now

I am so sorry for you If you want to call it reverse Stockholm That's fine by me Alright I'm glad So you guys are currently in the town of Edgegate Edgegate is a primarily human settlement

It sits on the edge of the Ironwood forest You're just in a tavern Chilling It's a bit of a rainy day So it's overcast outside And there's a lot of people in the tavern right now Because it's coming towards the end of the day. Where would you guys be

in the tavern? Seedy back room. Can you afford a room? Not like a seedy back booth? That's fine. The seediest, dirtiest booth available. My god, you guys are dirty.

Man, the thieves I want to sit on a potato sack though so I don't get my dress dirty. Your dress would still be filthy. Like a different kind of filthy. Filthy and starchy. You guys are a little scared of her because she's wearing this mangled, dirty dress with, like, a sack thing over it saying, I don't want to get it dirty, guys.

No, sit on the bench and then sit on the sack. All right. Oh, wait. Oh, I thought you were like wearing the sack to cover it. Like a potato sack. Like, you know how people wear those like plastic, like. Like a poncho. Yeah.

I'd like to approach the, like, the bartender. Approach the bartender. He's a man who looks like he's seen a few too many punches to the face. Oh no. His nose is broken in maybe four different places, and he's polishing a dirty glass with a dirty rag. Hello, how are you, first of all? He just grunts.

Okay. My name's Griff Pompom Griff. Not quite a wizard. Just don't have enough for a room. That's not what I'm asking for, but a shower. Can we make some deal here for a shower? For bathing? His eyebrows like shoot up just a little bit. Shower? Like what the nobles have?

Like what I have? A bath? A pond? The sink? He just slowly shakes his head and says, where do you think you are, mate? In fear I'm going to scurry back to our booth. You push your way back through.

It's a bit crowded, so you've got to push your way through. No showers for anyone, guys. Did you offer him money? I didn't. I didn't even think. I just... Apparently I have some gold. Oh, no.

I pushed my way back through. Yeah, okay. I put down 15 gold. 15 gold! That's half of it! A shower? Are you taking this from Joel's... Are you taking this from Leo's gold or from yours?

If Leo held out the gold and he was like, we have gold, I would have grabbed it from his hand. Okay, yeah, you put down 15 gold. You piece of shit! The barkeep looks down at the gold, looks up at you. He takes the gold, just slides it slowly across the counter and puts it underneath the bar.

What do you want, mate? A shower or a bath. And a room. I get it. I have a 15 gold bar. What money you got for that, mate? I just gave you the 15, though, for the shower. Punch him in the face.

No! He looks like he's used to it. This may be the currency in this tavern. Punch him in the face! You can try punching him in the face if you want. I'd rather not. And he knows it. Let me just look through my spells real quick

what about a solid cube of wood do you say that to him yes which I can conjure up for you lickety split if his eyebrows were raised before they're just like shooting up now. What?

Like perhaps so that you could stand taller or you could... You could hit someone with it. I scurry over with my little halfling feet. Yeah, you both can see, Jackson, you both can see Kriff is struggling. Trying to hoist myself up to the bar so I'm at least, you know, not eye level, but he can see me now.

He's looking at his nipples. He's looking at his belt buckle. I'm looking up, kind of, just, hey, so. I lost us the 15. Yeah, I know, I saw. Is there anything we can do to get some of that back? I needed that. Uh.

He laughs in your face. Oh, boy. I've got 15 gold. Don't give him more. Okay. All of you, like, well, Kriff and Leo, you guys are a little bit distracted with the bartender,

but even you two notice. And Ainsley, you notice as well. Ainsley with an I, you notice as well. Ainsley with an A. The door to the tavern opens, and a really, like, dusty-looking traveller steps in. He's got this big brown overcoat, and underneath he's wearing, you can see, sort of,

it looks like care-worn armour, and you can see he's got a sword on his belt. He scans the entire tavern, and his eyes just rest on each of you for like a little bit. Does like a shiver go down me, like a fear of seeing a real man? That guy can afford clothes. That guy looks shabby.

This guy looks like he's seen his fair share of fights and he's probably won most of them. If not all. He saunters, basically, over to the bar and the barkeep just walks away from you over to him. Our money! Our money! I like.

So do I get a little bit of that back there, Crim? We're a team, though. Party funds. It's everybody's money. Okay. Guys, come on. Is anyone looking at us? If we walk to the bar, is anyone looking at us?

Well, Criff and Leo are already at the bar, so no one's going to think it's strange if they remain at the bar. Why don't we just reach over and take our gold back? Oh, wait, I'm a thief. Do you want to try that? Yes. I'm a sneaky piece of shit. We're going to be so rich.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Do you want me to cause a distraction real quick? Yes. I'd like to cast... No, hey, it's one of my cantrips. Dancing Light. Dancing Light? What's a cantrip?

A cantrip being just like it's a level zero spell I can use as many times as I fuck. You're thinking of Fifth Ed. Am I? Yeah. Fuck, what's a cantrip in just like it's a level zero spell I can use as many times as I want. You're thinking of fifth ed. Am I? Yeah. Fuck, what's a cantrip in 3.5? It's the same thing, but it's a limited number in 3.5. Yeah.

So you could cast it, though. You cast Dancing Lights. The tavern goes like deathly silent. This is like, you know, farm folk. The closest thing to magic they've ever seen is this right now. The closest thing to magic they've ever seen is this right now. So you, you know, do a couple arcane hand gestures, say some magic words,

and just these hovering balls of light surround you. The tavern is, like, just enchanted. The barkeep and that guy, though, are still, they look like they're in a deep conversation, and they're the only people who don't pay attention to you. Distracted enough. I leap up on a table and get everybody's attention by dancing with the lights around me. You dance poorly,

but people are more interested in the lights. You're going to try and get the money? Uh-huh. Oh, man. Can I sneak or add something? Yeah, I just rolled that for you. You lean across the bar, grab the money. You're pretty sure some of the patrons saw you.

No one cares. Yes! Super. 50 gold richer. Well, just back to what we had initially. Breaking even. Square one really isn't an objective to achieve. I carry on dancing, I suppose. Getting caught up in the reverie.

You're just going to keep dancing? He's dancing worsens. I'm getting tired. That's funny because so is the tavern. We've seen these dancing lights. Yeah, they're like, you know, well, it's magic, so they're still, like, somewhat interested, but after you've seen, like, magical light, you know,

it's not much else it does. Oh, no. I'm going to sneak up to the bartender. It's, like, sneaky. Like, sneaky as opposed to. And try and listen to what they're saying. Wow. Okay.

Yeah. You really, really stealthily move your way through the crowd. No one seems to be paying attention to you. Like the limited attention that is on Jackson is enough for the crowd to not notice you. See guys, carry a potato sack. No one notices you in the farm. Everybody thinks you're potatoes. And you get right up to the bartender and that guy.

You hear the bartender's just like asking questions about you guys. He says, you know, do they come in armed? Do you think they can handle themselves? Yada, yada, some questions like that. Oh, that's a worry. The bartender says no to do that. They can't handle themselves. I'm going to pinch his butt.

Oh, no. You saucy wench. You're going to get us killed. Or betrothed. You, like, pinch his butt and you try to, you know, get up. Wait, are you trying to not be spotted doing this? I don't know. I'm trying to get his attention.

Okay. Well, you pinch his butt. He spins around quickly, grabs your hand. And you're like face to face with him. He's like right up in your grills. And he says, what do you want? Oh, I haven't got that far, guys. in your grills and he says, what do you want?

Oh, I haven't got that far, guys. I sort of just assumed he would, like, fall over with my womanly charm. You're so filthy. You're so filthy and smelly. He's just like, oh, gross. He's not like that. Like potatoes. I'm a princess, damn it.

He's more mad than disgusted, to be honest. Try and flirt, Alice. Come on, Aileen. I mean Aileen. You're going to try and chat him up? Ainsley. Ainsley, use your womanly charm. Come on, Ainsley. I want to do that.

I'm like signaling in the background. Titties and hips. Come on. Do you want to dance? Titties and hips. Your womanly charms have no effect on him, primarily because you stutter over your words and just say something to the effect of

mmm, mmm, mmm, nice face. That's a solid opening move, guys. You're in. He just pauses for a second. He doesn't know what the fuck is going on. He shakes his head and he gestures to

Leo and Griff and he says these two, they with you? Yes. We looking for approval? Are we? Adventurers, right? Yes. Rebellious adventurers.

I'm not a princess at all. Let's do this. He pauses again as if he's trying to comprehend what's going on. You see, like, he looks like he might be having second thoughts at this point, but he, like, shakes his head and he says, I have a proposition for you. I'll take it. Not that kind of proposition. I'll take it. Done.

He gestures to the table that you guys were sitting at. We'll walk over there and I'll show it to you. Buy us a drink and we'll talk more. Not that. Maybe buy us a drink. We're thirsty. Buy us a drink. I'm going to step down off the a drink. We're thirsty. Buy us all a drink and we'll talk more. I'm going to step down off the table if I've seen this going down. I've overheard.

The crowd is properly dispersed at this point. Free drinks were on the menu. You just like slide over to these two. Free drinks? Yeah. Well, actually the proposition is you pay me money and I give you something in return. Oh.

I don't know about that. What is it? Let's hear him out here. Is it a shower? You know, let's go to the table. I don't want to say this publicly in the tavern. He says, he like looks around. Is it drugs?

Because yes. All right, we'll go over to the table. You all like sit down in your booth. Yes Alright, we'll go over to the table You all like sit down in your booth He, out of his waistcoat Pulls a little map scroll And he just sits it down on the table

Do any of you guys know of a wizard Or mage called Wondrin Norton Yes, let's see if I do I have a hot thing Ask Jigglylum You do Oh sick Yeah, I'll Wondra Norton.

I'll Wondra Norton. The Norton family are like a group of wizards who have garnered magical powers from packs with demons and devils. I act like I know exactly what's going on. Like, yeah, yeah, I know. Of course, the Norton

guys. You don't know if he believes you or not, but he doesn't seem to care. Yeah, I'm into it. Anyway, Kriff, you know that the Wandering Norton is local to this area. He has not a tower. It's actually the opposite.

It's like a dungeon. Okay. And he's not a nice person. Sends raiding parties out to the surrounding villages, attacks them. But you also happen to know that he specializes in alchemy and alchemical agents. And he'd probably have a, like if you were to rob him, for example, he'd probably be able to get yourselves a tidy profit on some of the alchemical agents there.

Well, he's a dick, but a rich dick. And I do like robbing people. The authorities aren't going to care. Actually, if you could they might have a bounty out on him. Double profits! Although you're not sure if you could take him in a fight. You're not a great wizard. But with us combined.

Is that mysterious gentleman what you're proposing? He taps the scroll case that he brought out and he says, I happen to have the plans to the first level of his little dungeon. Yeah. All right. I'd be willing to sell them to you for a price. How much?

What are we talking here? Guys, we can double our profits if not triple our profits. He like looks you guys up and down. I reckon 20 gold. Four gold. Hard bowling him, yeah? Start low, go high. That's the best tactic.

Hang on. Oh, no. He laughs. Four and a half gold. He laughs again Four and a half gold. He laughs again. 67 gold. Slide of hand. 67 gold I'll take.

No, don't. Back to four gold. Back down, back down. Does someone else want to try and barter with him? What about 15 gold and a five-foot block of wood? Are you trying to sell this wood? You realize it only lasts for three rounds, right? But he doesn't.

Really, you couldn't. He laughs at you as well, but it's not a mean way like it was with Anise. It's like sort of a, he legitimately finds that funny. Okay, good. He says 18 gold. All right, look, we'll pay the 18 gold,

but can you throw us in maybe something else have you got? Like any kind of weapons to go up against this guy? As you can see, we're weaponless, I lie. And more potato sacks. And as you can see, Ainsley over here isn't exactly well equipped or dressed for adventuring. So we need something to sort of get provisions. So we are not warriors.

25 gold and I'll give you a scroll that will get you past one of his traps. And new clothes. I don't have new clothes for you. He gestures to his meagre backpack. Do I look like I'm the kind of man You're wearing nice clothes Where'd you get the jacket Where'd you get that though

It looks prettier than mine Tell you what 8 gold throw us in that We'll give you everything we've got No shut the hell up 20 gold we'll take that and the jacket Shut the fuck up We don't give everything But not the scroll to get 20 gold. We'll take that and the jacket. No, but he was, shut the fuck up. We don't give everything.

But not the scroll to get past. No, we don't need that. No, we're fine. I'm overconfident. Wait, what are you gesturing to? The waistcoat. His jacket? His awesome jacket.

20 with that? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yes. Yes. High five. Oh, do you pass him the money? Yeah. Okay. He takes the money first five. Oh, do you pass him the money? Yeah.

Okay. He takes the money first, but he gives you the scroll case and he takes off his coat and hands it to you. Yes. You are a halfling. He is a human. Oh, no. That coat is just too big.

Guys, I'm made of a snake. Do I get the coat? Do I get the coat? I get the coat. What are you? I'm half elf. Oh, no. No, I get the coat. I get the coat. The coat is? I'm half elf. No, I get the coat.

The coat is equally too large on both of you. What about me? He's not like a big man, but half elves are kind of slender, and, well, he's a big man. You're a princess. You're not that buff, Ainsley. Guys, we fucked up. I thought I was onto something.

Maybe we can sell this coat. Sell that coat to the bartender. That's a good idea. To his credit, he also unscrews the map case, pulls out the map, and he rolls it out for you to show you. All right. He gestures to this. It's like an antechamber.

Then beyond the antechamber is a throne room. Off to the throne room are barracks, a prison, officers' quarters, and an alchemy lab. The alchemy lab has stairs that go down to the next level. Adjoining the barracks is what's marked as a secret passageway, and it says secret entrance. It's not very secret, is it? It's on the map. It's on the blueprints to the... The guy gets mad at you.

Oh, no. We pissed him off. He gestures to one of the traps, which is in the entryway. He says it's a pit trap. You step on that, it's in the middle of the room, and you'll just fall through. It's a 10-foot drop, spikes at the bottom. Unpleasant.

That sounds like it'll hurt. I recommend you go in through the side entrance, he says, gesturing to the one with the barracks. I'm not sure. I think Wondrin knows about it, but I don't think he told his people about it. So you might catch them unawares. He gestures to another trap, which is on the door to the alchemy lab.

That one there, that's a lethal trap. You open that that and a magic spell hits you. Safe way to open it is with the scroll. I'll sell you extra. Or you can open it from a distance if you think you can. How much money did we give you? 20.

We had like 30 gold. We've got like 10 gold left. We can't buy that scroll. We're good. We'll just go through the side entrance. We'll risk it. The side entrance isn't going to get you into the al we're good. We'll just go through the side entrance. The side entrance isn't going to get you into the alchemy lab. We'll just do it from afar, mate. It's fine. We can throw a rock at it. I got a light crossbow, whatever.

Just get off. Stop trying to sell us shit. Fuck. What are you, an adventurer or a salesman? If you want to help us out, give us that. He just puts his hands up, gets up. I'll trade you a lovely coat for that spell

I just happened to get it It's only second hand He gives you a very sour look He looks like he's very quickly regretting his decision to deal with you guys You wouldn't happen to be talking about the coat I just sold you You know it fits Hey, I don't question you where you got your map from.

You should question me where I get mine. Enjoy the map. He taps the table and leaves. That's on me. Can I try and sleight of hand steal that little scroll from you? You're going to track after him and try to do that? Yeah. As he's like, you know, about to leave, he'll sleight of hand, just whoop.

I've got decent sleight of hand. Maybe. Dice don't favor you, though. Slight hand. I've got a decent slight hand. Maybe. Dice don't favor you, though. Oh, no. You put your hand into a pocket, but it's not the right pocket. Luckily, he doesn't notice. Luckily, I get more gold. You can't fight.

No, you don't get anything out of the pocket. It's just an empty pocket. Damn, damn. Lint, though. You can go again. No, you don't get anything out of the pocket. It's just an empty pocket. Damn, damn, damn. Lint, though. You can go again if you want, but you're pushing your luck now. I tried. You gave it your best. I gave it my all.

So, do I know where his dungeon is? The map gives you directions from this town. How far away? It's maybe a day's travel. Do we want to buy, like, a mule, guys? Like, we're going to be sneaky. Our mules is going to draw attention. Mules are loud.

That's the sound mules make, Jackson. But we can easily sell this coat. This is a burden. This coat is just in the way. Let's go sell the coat. Let's get rid of the coat first. Maybe buy some, if we have, just some light armor, I feel.

You've got some armor on, don't you? Yeah, you've got leather armor on. You're right, but we do need to get rid of this coat because it's weighing us down. Is there a market in town? Yeah, there is. It's probably closed though. It's like after dark now. Alright, I'll take the jacket off Leo here and I'll stand up on a table i'll make some more lights ladies and gentlemen you've never seen a

coat like this a hundred percent genuine leather from the furthest reaches this coat has seen some places oh my god is that dragon leather, I say? We don't know. It sure is. Six copper. A little more than six copper. A little higher than that, mate. We're looking for you. No one, this tavern is packed.

No one is interested. Can we take six copper? Six copper. You've got yourself a deal, mate. That coat is not worth a lot of money. It's a coat. Six copper. Fuck that McOffice.

I'm writing that shit down. If you're writing that down, you better make sure you minus yourselves 20 gold. I already have. Good job. Oh, boy. I have five gold. But I got six copper, so...

I had 19 at one stage. You're taking all of the party profit thus far. Is that what's happening? That's all right, guys. I got 5 gold but I got 6 copper I had 19 at one stage you're taking all the party profit that's fine I got 12 gold hey I sold the jacket how much did you start with 15 oh I have 12 gold

you've not been contributing I noticed to be fair she hasn't been fucking up oh wait no you did actually you pitched this bomb that's very un-princessly are you putting in 10 gold To be fair, she hasn't been fucking up. Oh, wait, no, you did actually. You pinched his bum. That's very un-princessly. Are you putting in ten gold? Yeah, I'm putting in ten gold. I can see why your family let you go.

Just pinching bums all the time. Like, Ainsley, this is a royal gala. Bum pinches. Ainsley, my goodness. Gracious me. All right, let's get jacket gone good that's sorted

we don't have to carry that anymore thank Christ you can head out tonight if you want you haven't been doing anything strenuous so like you're

well-wested can we get like do we have food and shit yeah we get some food we got rations we get rations for we're right fuck

rations for days rations for days let's chuff on four days there's chuff on so long tavern. When you see these boys next and girl, they'll be the richest man and lady in town.

More lights as we leave. Wow! You set off on foot. Yes. As you're walking out of town, nothing eventful happens. All right. Super. Let's do this. Okay. Nothing eventful happens Alright Super Let's do this

Hang on, is there like a lake nearby or even a fountain? A fountain, yes I'm going to have a bathe before we go Yes Bathe in a fountain I think Ainsley needs one as well Ainsley needs a wash We'll scrub each other up

It's fine I got your back, crimp Ainsley needs a wash. We'll scrub each other up. It's fine. I got your back, crimp-off. A town guard, a member of the town guard approaches as you're doing that and you see him raise a hand as if he's going to say something and then he just lowers it and just shakes his head and walks away. Pleasant evening. He ignores you now. Good day, sir.

All right, thoroughly scrubbed with chuff off Yay! Clean and ready for action There's something I never thought I'd heard said in a D&D game Thoroughly scrubbed with chuff off Okay You leave the town on your epic quest Join us next time for the thrilling continuation of D&D is for Nerds.

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Peloton all access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. It's radio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members,

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