D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #10 An Uncomfortable Horseride

Episode Date: September 13, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes emotionally torture the farmer Dustin. We loot the meagre possessions of farming townsfolk, have the most uncomfortable horse ride ever and return to where this whole adventure began. Krif fits more words than strictly possible or necessary into just six seconds, Princess Ansley pinches the wrong bum at the wrong time and Leo is also there. So mount your trusty steed and join our party as they hold as many moose heads as they possibly can. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, you have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear and drowning. And death. And getting stabbed. And maybe cancer. And aneurysms. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table describing what their halfling rogue is doing,

but that is exactly what we are doing today. Welcome to episode 10 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Joel Zammett, and I'll be playing the part of Leo Shadow. Over there we've got the gorgeous and beautiful Jackson B Bailey playing the part of Criff Pom Pom Criff. Yeah. And the even more gorgeous and even more beautiful Ali Kathleen playing the part of Ainsley Foggyfeather. And of course our illustrious DM who isn't nearly as handsome as the three of us combined, Adam Calvin Coolridge. Guys! Shut up, Adam.

Previously on D&D is for Nerds. And standing on the symbol is an undead, a woman. Kneeling in front of her, not done yet, kneeling in front of her is a robed figure. Ain't nothing quite like cold clock and a wizard and his pudgy wizard face. He hurls two bolts of magical energy. You're a tough cat.

You've got more health than I do, mate. Goo up the cat, Jackson. Pinches Bob! Hug him! Hug him! Hug him! Yeah, I'm going to do it. Cave her head in almost completely. Sick. It falls over.

Oh, yeah! Damn it, killed a wizard! You stab him in the eye, and he just, like, slumps up against the wall, slides down. Is the power of a wizard in their head, is what I'm asking. I think you're thinking of Gorgons. Anyway, with your phone up. Yeah, with your phone up.

Early in the morning, you get out and the town looks mostly deserted. You can't hear zombies anymore. Leo, you can spot a couple corpses just lying in the snow around the place. It looks like marionettes with their strings cut. I walk over to them and stab them in the head. Okay. Why would you do that? Make sure.

Job well done. Have we not learned that stabbing does nothing to Zambos? Look, stab a zombie in the head, they die. No. I'm not sure how many times I've said this. As Adam said, they are exactly like George Romero zombies. Two out of ten. You are right.

Two out of ten. Don't let them lick you. All right. Don't let them lick you? What's that from? That's not George Romero. I think you're thinking of Komodo dragons, Ali. Did you get them confused with zombies again?

Oh, Ali. Zombies, Komodo dragons, you know, tomato, tomato. Did we leave, we left a guy, didn't we? Dustin, yeah, he's waiting for you with the horses. Yeah, smack the zombies in the head with the bat. Okay. You cave a lot of heads in. That's just for me, really.

That's just for you, so you can sleep at night. I'm just excited about the moose heads I'm going to be getting. Yes. Go back to Dustin. Yeah. Yeah, he's waiting where you left him. He looks tired, I should say. He looks very tired.

I thought you were going to go home, Dustin. You decided to wait? No, I didn't, he says. Haft the robe in. We got him. Where? Assuming this was him. We're like 80% sure that was him.

I think that was his robe. Oh, he's dead now. Oh, whatever. There's no one else in the crypt, so like... I'm calling this a win. Well, are all the zombies dead? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you can see down in the cemetery. No one's moving. I can't see from this far away. Maybe you put your glasses on. We saw slums slumped over. Yeah. I haven't cleaned them up, but they're definitely dead. You went through the entire town?

Yes. I go. Dustin comes down with you. All right. Let's check the town. No, you're just going to stay here because the horses aren't great to go down. Fine, Dustin. I would appreciate it.

That's kind of what we hired you to do. I thought you got us to get rid of the necro-bats. You're busting our balls, Dustin. You've got our balls and our vice. Fine. Walk down to the town, Dustin. I guess that's what we're doing. Dustin nods.

You get the distinct impression he doesn't give a shit about your feelings. His home has been invaded by zombies. He is uncaring to your inconvenience. As we're walking, I gossip about him, but like in a low whisper, but loudly so he can hear. A loud low whisper. Yeah, just so he can hear.

Oh my god, Dustin, what a piece of shit. We killed it, we know it's gone. We're going back at him like, yeah. We're trying to hurt his feelings. I'd be very careful. Do any of you guys know the way back? No. But we're trying to hurt his feelings i'd be very careful do any of you guys know the way back no but we still want to hurt his feelings okay and do any of you guys know how to just be a horse because he has them all where's carp michael he's back at the town at the uh guys actually maybe we should make fun of him because he's the one who's going to give

us the moose head so no i know we've our choice. We've made our choice, Chris. You've made your choice. You get back to the town. You were bitching just as loudly as I was. Now I'm regretting it. As systematic a search as you guys are interested in performing reveals no zombies. Is there anything other than, you know, shuffling around zombies?

Any zombies slash any interesting things that we can pilfer? People seem to have taken whatever they could as quickly as they could. But any houses that haven't been properly looted, these people are farmers. I mean, if you really want to rake, you can take as many rakes as you can take. Do you want to rake? We did kill some zombies with a loot before.

Well, I just want to point out, gang, Aidsley, Leo, because we had a loot broken on some zombies. Spent a lot of money on that loot. I'm a bit pissed off. Whatever. Water under the bridge. We had a bell. Again, I was excited for it.

It's broken. Use it on a zombie. Lock is also broken. Hey, was the bell broken? Yeah, it's not broken. It's probably still in the graveyard. Yeah, we used it as a distraction. So you can probably grab that bell.

We go find our bell. We don't go get the bell. That's where you left it. We spent good money on that bell. Water under the bridge. The lock. Yeah, that's... I was pretty excited about that.

As you go through the houses, I'd say you find 12 silver pieces and 20 copper pieces. So if someone wants to mark that down in party loot... Our treasurer is on that. I take a rake. 12 silver, 20 copper. Adam, I'll take a rake. Okay, I'd rake to your inventory.

Any rations, any food? No, no rations. Any potatoes? It's like the cold time right now, so it's mostly stored food. And the granary looks like it went up in fire a while ago. This is a sad town. We chuff back to Dustin.

Clear? Yeah. So good. You're right Dustin. Don't even stress. By the way, we'll go back to town and I'll get you your reward. Did you know that the mayor's wife ran off with a bard? Yeah, I was aware of that. Crazy. Have you heard about the parenting skills

of this town? They're all dead now. Sorry? The parenting skills of this young... What were their names? Whippersnapper. One and two. It was Dustin's children. Oh no. Oh, the priest did not like you, Dustin. The priest was a dick. Isn't he dead? I assume.

But I opened the page where it says the children of Dustin's are a bit of shit. I'm like, look, priest, man. Didn't like you at all. My daughter is dead. Well, this is going to be an awkward cut right back. I'm just going to bury my head in the spell book. And like, I'm not reading it.

I'm just like going over the same paragraph again. I really want to say, well, at least she's not going to turn out evil now. You're probably going to get really pissed. Like a zombie? Yeah. Was that a pop? Did you have to put her down? She was a zombie.

Is that what you were saying? What? What happened? What? He gets on the horse and he just starts throwing off. He doesn't care if you guys are coming with or not. Sorry, Dustin. Sorry for your losses.

Was it just your daughter? He's not talking. Leo, do you want to shut the fuck up? Was it your wife as well? Leo, holy shit, I want the moose hats. Was it your wife or your daughter and your son? Leo, I'll push you out of this cart. You're not in a cart, you're on horses.

Leo, I will push you off your horse. Sorry, Dustin. If you'd like, you're on horses. Leo, I won't push you off your horse. Sorry, Dustin. If you'd like, you can have the diary. Sorry, guys. He's not having none of that. By the way, you're dusting a bit too much. Maybe. Just a little bit.

You think coming back here to see the town like this might have also triggered some shit? Mm-hmm. He stayed with the horses. Aisley, go give him a hug. coming back here to see the town like this might have also triggered some shit. He stayed with the horses. Aisley, go give him a hug. It's his bum. His bum is firmly in his saddle. Give him a hug. Give him a hug across your horse. Horse hug.

I'm going to ride up next to him and be like, hey, hey, buddy. You want to hug it out? You want to hug it out, Dustin? Oh, my God. Do you? Hey, Dustin, you want to have a bit of a hug? Get some feelings out?

He does not want to hug it out. Well, maybe you should give it a go, Dustin. I'm really, like, persuasive. Are you, Justin? In my brain. I think that remains to be seen. Let's have a look here. Hang on.

Just trying to find diplomacy. Yeah, that's a hot zero modifier. Yep, yep. Mine's a negative one. Clearly. Yeah, he is not interested in a hug. He, uh, he's just remaining silent. You're on your horse, arms stretched

Hey buddy, let's move towards acceptance Alright, different strategy I'm going to pinch him on the bum You can't really get to his bum I'm going to pinch whatever's near his bum Just give him a little thigh pinch A little sly wink You pinch as close as you can

He leaps off his horse and onto you See guys, it's working Give him a little thigh pinch. A little sly wink. You pinch like as close as you can. Yes. He leaps off his horse and onto you. Oh, see, guys, it's working. I don't think it's a lot. He's trying to punch you. You guys are struggling on your horse now. Okay. Unless you just don't want to struggle because you think he's trying to kiss you,

not trying to punch you. Yeah. No, revert back to strategy A. Go for the hug. Go back for the hug. He's now ready for it. Hug it. He allows trying to punch you. Yeah. No, revert back to strategy A. Go for the hug. Go back for the hug. He's now ready for it. Hug it. He allows you to hug him.

Hug it out. What weapons do you have on you? What? What weapons do you have on you? I mean, some. He's trying to draw one of your weapons. Say it's not your fault. Tell him no.

Say it's not your fault. Tell him no. Dustin, no. We're going to hug it out. He's trying to draw your longsword. Well. You fall off the horse, both of you. You're rolling around in the snow.

Oh, God. Are you still trying to hug him? Yeah, I am. Yeah, fuck it. He draws your longsword. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Okay. I'm going to get off my horse Because Because Andy's going to fucking die He pushes away from you He's rolling in the snow And he's got your longsword You're going to lose your longsword Leo are you doing anything as well? I'm just sitting on my horse

Mouth agape I apologise again We're going to go to initiative now How? I mean like Dustin what? The moose hat. You sons of bitches.

Dustin, I'm just trying to help you. Oh, my God. You pieces of shit. How far away is town? Can we, like, work out how to get there ourselves? No. No, it's the bad part of winter, Allie. We're going to die.

Dustin gets to his feet and he swings downwards at you. You're still on the ground with your sword. You're going to roll out of the way and then be like, I'll buy you a beer when we get back. He swings and just kicks up snow next to you. Hot cocoa, maybe. He doesn't look like he's very well trained with a sword. Dustin, Dustin, think what your wife and kids will think of you.

What have I done? I've accidentally marked you down twice, Leo. Good, I like this. Leo gets two moves. No, it's... Come on, Jiggleum. I've always been your biggest fan. I call out to him, just, Dustin, stop.

Think what your dead wife and kids would do. That'll help. What your dead wife and kids would do. That'll help. What your dead wife and kids would think. Oh, my God. You're trying to antagonise him. Is that what you're doing? No, I'm trying, but worded very poorly. You're next.

You're next, motherfucker. Is that all you do? No, Dustin, Dustin, they wouldn't want you to resort to violence. Ainsley. Again, the hugging's not working. Tactic B. Tactic B. You're on the ground still.

How far away is his bum? He's like standing over you. Do you want to try and pinch his bum? Go through. Tackle. Kick the sword out of him. Kick it out of him? Kick it out of him? Kick it out of his hand.

Just out of him. Out of him. I feel like stabbing him is a bad idea. Do you have anything to stab him with? I like some daggers or whatever. Just knock the sword. Just run. Knocking the sword.

Yeah, knock the sword. You want to try and disarm him? Yeah, yeah. And then hug him. We're an evil party, but we like to give people closure. Hey, we feel bad.

Well, you guys should. I feel bad. I've done nothing but be lovely to Dustin. No, you were bitching about it as well. I don't care. I don't care. Mooseheads. Mooseheads, Dustin. You are my link to mooseheads. People promised heads, Dustin. You are my link to moose heads. We were promised moose heads. And now you guys are bending me over a barrel and fucking me on the moose head front.

Out of character. If we kill Dustin, what happens? We go to jail. Ladies and gentlemen, disarming rules. Get fucking set. All right. Oh, joy. Okay. Oh, disarming rules. Get fucking set. All right. Oh, joy. Okay.

Oh, joy to the world. Yeah. Ainsley, he swings with the longsword and catches you full in the face with it. Why is it always my face? You're like, you know, leaning up to him. You only take two points of damage. Oh, God. It's like a very glancing blow.

He's not a good swordsman. Is it your turn next? It's me next. Cover me in goo. I have a plan. No. Wait. No one shall be covered in goo today. Cover me in goo

and then revert back to strategy. I have no magical energy left. Oh, you don't. Dancing lights? I could make lights. If you wanted lights, I'm your fucking guy. Alas. I'm going to have to kill.

I'm going to have to stab a farm in the back. No, I'm not. Well, I kind of did. It's hard to do, but you can do attacks that deal non-lethal damage either with your fists or with your weapon. If you do it with your fists, he gets an automatic attack against you, but he only gets one of those around. So if all three of you do it, he can only attack one of you.

Or you can do it with a weapon and you are less likely to hit because you're using the flat part of the weapon. And you can deal non-lethal damage and knock him unconscious like that. But an unconscious Dustin is basically the same as a dead Dustin. All right. New strategy, guys. Strategy three. That puts it out.

Could be, like, calm him down. Treat him like he's someone with anxiety. Put a blanket on his head. Treat him like he's someone with anxiety and a weapon. Just be like, look, all right, Dustin. Yeah, Kirif, it's your turn. Calm down. We'll give him some breathing strategies.

I tackle him and try and cuff him with the shackles we have. Yes. Much better idea. Right? He's fucking goo playing over here. You sprint, but he just catches you. Oh, no. He doesn't really

to say catch you, I mean he catches your tackle and just forces it back. Fuck. You fail to tackle. That's alright. Kick him in the shoes. I yell shackle as I run through. Shackle! Ainsley,

he's still swinging down trying to hit you, but he's such a poor swordsman like you're just rolling on the ground and he's just kicking up snow this is a really sad fight like this is a sad fight we're having I want to also try and tackle him yeah if we get him to the ground

and disarm him then we can calm him down he smacks you in the side of the piece with the sword he does not kill you we're trying to help youacks you in the side of the face with the sword. He does not kill you. We're trying to help you, Dustin. You take two points of damage as well. I'll fucking stab you, Dustin. I'll fucking stab you.

He's like, like I said, he doesn't know where to hit with this sword. He's just swinging it really chaotically. Oh, God. Okay. Maybe, maybe take a step back, guys. Ainsley? I'm going to kind of shuffle back. I'll be like, all right, all right.

You mean crawl backwards. You're still on the ground. Yeah. Well, I mean like, yeah, that. Do that. Crawl backwards a little bit with my hands up in the air. I don't know how that works. But really pass and be like, all right, Dustin.

All right. We can do this. All right. Everyone stay calm. We'll stop. What's he do? Apologize. I'm sorry, Dustin.

You got to wait for his turn to see what he does. What instant response. Sorry. Soz. Totes soz. That's why I only do two-minute noodles. I'm going to do this four-minute shit. I know a guy who can do it in one minute, 59 seconds.

I need to know this man. That's a stupid joke. I didn't like your turn. I thought it was a real thing. I thought it was a real thing. It's not that impressive. It really isn't that impressive. One second.

That'll... Well, were you even... I don't even... I tackle him and shackle him again. Tackle and shackle. I can't remember if his head is a tack pop... No, he hasn't. Yeah, so he gets one on...

No, he hasn't. Tackle and shackle. Tackle and shackle. Ah, he hits you. Oh, God. You, like, try to tackle, and he sets his sword against your tackle, so you ram yourself onto his sword.

You take six points of damage. Kill him! You are nearly dead. I'm on one? One, yeah, a hot one. I spend way too much time on one, guys. You spend a lot of time on one hit point. Hey, but I don't die, so...

Good start. What does that tell you about my play style? Adam, look me in the eye. Adam and Tony, I'm doing good. God damn it. Okay, so now it's his turn again. Oh, no. Maybe my calming words will make him stop trying to kill me.

No, he takes a step forward and swings at you again. Oh, my goodness. What? How am I meant to fix this? Oh, shit. He's just not working with us. If he kills us. Are we dying by Dustin's hand?

Are we getting killed by a simple fire? Oh, boy. And it's crit. Crit success? No, he's like, when he draws the sword back out of you, and he's swinging it around, but he looks tired now. He looks like this is a lot of effort for him, and he's been awake for far too long.

Oh, good. Good work, guys. Aha, we had a sneaky nap. Yes. The sneaky nap strikes again. It wasn't sneaky. I wouldn't call eight hours a sneaky nap. Yes. The sneaky nap strikes again. It wasn't sneaky. I wouldn't call eight hours a sneaky nap. That's just a solid sleep.

You were, oh my God, and he was out in the cold while you guys were doing that. We told him to go home. Hey, that's on Dustin. That's on Dustin. Yeah. That's on Dustin. And I put it at Leo's turn now.

Cough him. Non-lethal. Punch him in turn now. Cough him. Non-lethal. Punch him in the head. He's done. It's a sling. Non-lethal with a sling? I would argue you could not do non-lethal with a sling. Fair enough.

What do we have? Just punch him. I'm just going to stand back and not tackle. You're making like a Boning gesture What's that? I'm just gonna like hump the air No, not that one, the one you were doing before Shuffling back

You take a couple steps back And be like, whoa, Dustin Whoa, just hey Let's just take a time out We've all said some things we regret We've all done some actions we regret Let's just have a bit of a chill. We did kill the

zombos. Let's go to town. Have a bit of a sleep. Once again, you'll have to wait for his turn to see how he reacts. Ainsley? I feel we should all do that. You're backing off? Well, you can't do it very fast because you're still crawling.

And I got stabbed in the head. You can spend your entire round getting up and if you do that, you can't do it very fast because you're still crawling. And I got stabbed in the face. You can spend your entire round getting up, and if you do that, you're standing, and that's... Oh, actually, no, wait, he's ready to take... Yeah, you can get up if you want. Nah. Okay, then. Just the same thing.

Just like, hey, Dustin. Hey, buddy. He can basically just take a step forward and keep up with you crawling on the ground. You'll be all right. Nah, the ground's fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Okay.

So that is now Chris time. Come on, man. Don't antagonize him. You want those moose heads? You've got to stay calm for moose heads. I do. I'm like, hey, Dustin, mate, these motherfuckers got no tact. You've had a rough time of it.

I get it. We've all been there. Not this exact situation, but there's a lot of tragedy in the world. This is a lot for six seconds. Don't bring up his dead wife and kids. It's a bad idea. So just let's chill out. Let's chill out.

Let's just get back to town. We never have to see each other again. He's just gonna kill us all. He like slows down with his swing. He's like just swinging forwards, but his swings like slow down and eventually he just like he's leaning on the sword, using

it to support him. He is just panting really heavily and then finally he just lets go of the sword, throws it at you Ainsley and he remounts his horse. Alright guys. Alright, good. So hey. Let's just shut the fuck up. We'll take a couple steps back

in our horses and just rest the journey in silence. We'll just keep to ourselves. How about we sing? No. No? How about if you want to sing, just sing in your head. I'm just saying. You sound like a parent on a road trip, which in a lot of ways you kind of are.

I don't like that I've become responsible. That's not great. Look, Ainsley, Ainsley, I'd be happy with it, but someone broke my lute. Yeah, never mind. Don't worry about it. Now for the drum solo. It's not a drum.

On the back of a horse. Just flip around and drum its rump. You get back to the main town. Thank God. Awkward silence. And as you're plodding in, it's like past dark. So it's freezing. You guys are all frigid, just shivering on your horses

from not having the move. You hitch up at that tavern where you first met Dustin. He hops off and goes in. This entire thing, like you guys said, has been silent. He has not talked to you, nor looked at any of you. Guys, I'm not going to lie. I don't think we're getting paid.

I'm not going to lie. Was Dustin the one that employed us? No, it was the other guy, the guard. The guard said that they would pay you. Guys, I'm not going to lie, I don't think we're getting paid. I'm not going to lie. Was Dustin the one that employed us? No, it was the other guy, the guard. The guard said that they would pay you. With Chuff inside. Sitting around the fire is Dustin and two guards. One of them is

younger and was the guy who you first saw talking to Dustin. The other one is an older gentleman. He looks very how should I say very distraught. Dustin's like saying something in an undertone.

Oh god. This might be about us. We've killed the necromancer. Flump. What do you drop? The robe. Oh okay. Where do you drop it? They're around the fire There's like a fireplace Hold it up

The older guard like nods Thank you You can keep the robe That's pretty good Dustin was just telling us The entire town there were no survivors? No. I guess not.

No. No, no. And the priest as well. Oh, that's why he was so angry. Yeah, no. No survivors. Sorry. All dead.

All dead. All zombies. I guess it's just Dustin and what family he managed to get out with. Did he get much family out? One other family as well got out. One or two others. That's good. That's okay.

Bright side. That's good for for Dustin you got a support network Dustin shoots you a fucking dirty look we're apologising but hey this might be not my place but like a reward

we did promise you a reward was mentioned we did we did promise you a reward was mentioned the guard hang on a minute we did kill that necromancer even though it's kind of meaningless so

Ainsley and Josh oh god oh boy Ainsley DM is mad Ainsley and Griff

you both from the way that this guard is talking you don't get the impression that Dustin has told him what happened on the road back

oh okay that's good that's great news he's like he seems not cheerful but he doesn't seem like angry at you guys

or anything like that that's new I don't notice this I believe it was 275 gold and and I quote He like glances at the other guard

And the other guard shakes his hand As many moose heads as you can carry Yeah Also Can I explain to him about The journal in the Priest's book about What was going on

With a necromancer and some Lady friend And also his sigil maybe We don't really book about what was going on with a necromancer and some lady friend and also his sigil maybe does that mean anything to you? my patrol route basically ends at the city limits so I don't really know much about this Dustin might know more

Dustin shakes his head I wouldn't want to bother Dustin he's had a long day Dustin is fine let's leave Dustin Maybe we should go to the prison And be like hey you got an escaped convict Maybe they'll reward us for killing the necromancer

You told the guy about that? Yeah There's a knight a couple towns over Who's from that He was looking for someone Passed through not too long ago Again I'm going to make assumptions here, but maybe it was the same guy.

If you leave it with me, I'll get a message to him. All right. Let's get some food. So the moose heads, though. No. How many are in the tavern? There's only one, but we can... We'll take it.

Okay, fine. How many can I carry conceivably Adam uh how many moose heads can griff pum pum griff conceivably hold I'm gonna say like maybe

five moose heads are big five two I was gonna say yeah two maybe three done just like it's not that heavy Five? Two? I was going to say, yeah, two, maybe three. Done! Just like, it's not that heavy. Are they mounted or are they like freshly killed moose? Mounted.

I'll go with just like a guard to several taverns to collect the moose heads and bring them back. Put them in cart Michael's cart. That's the plan. I'll put them like on the left and the right side of the cart and then one on the front. And they give you 275 gold pieces

Got it I'm gonna write down Do you know how many bells we could buy with that? We can get another lock Done Although that lock broke apart in a zombie's head Like how strong is this thing? 275

So many bells you could get Yes Done 275 So many bells you could get Yes Done Alright well I think After I get my moose heads We decide we'll stay here the night and wait for that message Oh you're gonna wait? Yeah why not

Do you wanna chuff You're not sure like he said a couple towns over So you're not sure how long that message is gonna take We'll have a bit of a rest then we can trip off to that town. Yeah. Oh, well they're sending the message right away though. Oh.

You could go with the message if you wanted to. That's fine. How about, look, we'll just have a bit of a rest or can we rest on the way to the... Can we snap on our cart, Michael?

Do you have a wagon? As long as nothing strenuous happens over the next couple of days you heal up normally. Let's have a rest. You can do your book. We'll go with the messenger. Hey, good heal up normally. Let's have a rest. You can do your book. We'll go with the messenger.

Hey, good times. Yeah. Let's just have a little rest, a little relax before we, you know. Hang on, wait. Let me just roll for number of dragons. And we get 79. 79 dragons. Oh, God.

Oh! I just reflected how much we've ruined Dustin's life. I feel so sorry for Dustin. Maybe we could, like, make friends with the message. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't even hear what you said. I thought she was going to try and do something with Dustin again.

Just try to hug it out, guys. It's like, hey, Dustin, now that we're in warmer territories, how are you coping with the grief? No, no. Actually, it looks like a blizzard might be sweeping in sometime soon. Let's leave before that happens. Let's go before we're stuck here with Dustin. We'd like to go somewhere warm, please.

All right, so we'll just, yeah, pack up, cut Michael, and follow the messenger. Cool. Yeah. Good. Have a sneaky read of that book. Yeah, I'll have a little read of my book. On the journey, you try to add a spell from

this other guy's spell book to yours. The way it works is you pay 200 gold, which you guys lose from party funds. That's cool, guys! That gives you an opportunity to learn a spell.

I am sorry in advance. So, you need 17. You will succeed on at least, what am I trying to, maths here, on at least an eight. I got this. So eight and above is a success. Oh, my God, I don't have this. I'm so scared.

18. Yeah! $200 investment. You learn the spell invisibility. I use it immediately. On your cat? No, on my son. I'm just going to remind you that you are in the presence of this messenger,

and his people fear magic. Oh, that's right. Okay, I do none of that. Or if I do use it, I turn people fear magic. Oh, that's right. Okay, I did none of that. Or if I do use it, I turn it off immediately. Can you make things invisible? He can make himself and anything that he is carrying invisible. So it's not like Fantastic Four invisibility where he's just like, oh, no, I've got clothes on, I've got to get naked.

Because I could do that. If I'm holding something and it goes invisible and then I hurl it away from me, does it become visible? Yes. Okay. That's cool. That could work. Invisible moose heads.

You have those just in the car? No, attached to the front and the left and right. Like blinkers and headlights. Yeah, like blinkers and headlights. Adam, let me draw you a diagram. Sorry. It's not that I didn't understand. I just sort of like, as soon as you a diagram. Sorry, it's not that I didn't understand. I just sort of like, as soon as you started talking, Jackson,

I don't even know why, but I just stopped listening. You're just talking and it was just like, whoa, going around me, but not really penetrating. Do you get it, though, Adam? You want circles of moose head around your wagon? Yes. To frighten away predators. Yes. Or attract them away predators. Yes.

Or attract them. I guess it actually doesn't look that weird, though. It looks a bit weird. It's kind of like, you know, how people will mount, you know, like bull horns on a... It's better than the undead zombie idea, so... Yeah, we made it pretty. Call it a win.

I guess you could call it a win, but... Yeah, I made up pretty. Call it a win. I guess you could call it a win, but yeah, I guess you could. So tune in next time for D&D is for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. Listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sandspans Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.