D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #15 Captain DeSilver and his Technicolour Waistcoat

Episode Date: October 18, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes set sail for the other side of the world. We wake up (which is a relief), meet a “fancy” Dwarven Ship Captain and everyone just tries to pick up. Kr...if scans the ship for “strange”, Princess Ansley meddles in the lives of others and Leo realises that it is a bad idea to try to soak up some sun. So get shirtless for all of five seconds and join our party as they become dazzled by Captain DeSilver and his Technicolour Waist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Senspense Radio, now I'm missing all my teeth. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table rolling dice to bargain for imaginary moose heads, but that is exactly what we're doing today. Welcome to episode 15 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Ali Kathleen, and I'll be playing the character of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Leo Shadow will be played by Joel Zammmert and Jackson Bailey will be playing the role of Griff Pum Pum Griff and never forget our mediocre DM Adam Christmas Pudding
Starting point is 00:00:30 Shut up Adam Previously on D&D is for Nets You meet a guy called Grayson He looks like he's been in a couple fights before He's got like a scar down one cheek DM, don't talk to us for a second You're hiring muscle and then you're going to cheuddle. DM, don't talk to us for a second. You're hiring muscle, and then you're going to cheapskate him
Starting point is 00:00:48 in a place you can't escape. Mmm, num-nums. Num-num gold. Why would I eat gold? Gold is delicious. Ainsley, shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. Is your friend touched in the head?
Starting point is 00:00:59 A little bit. What a nice book. Yeah, roll a D10. And then whatever that is. Years of dunk-a-dunk for the ages. Yes! Let's do this, guys. Today I might finally kill my cat.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Gods! I hate that cat so much. Get drunk and try and use magic. We rejoin the party sleeping soundly for now. Uh, Kriff, you wake up in the middle of the night. There's like a soft, like tapping sound. Look, I'm so pumped. Kriff, Jiggle Lump.
Starting point is 00:01:38 You wake up, scan around the room. Yeah. At the window, Jiggle Lump is just sitting on the sill, like tapping it with his paw. When he sees that you see him, he turns around the room. Yeah. At the window, Jiggle Lump is just sitting on the sill, like, tapping it with his paw. When he sees that you see him, he turns around and presses his butt against the window. What's in the room? It's, like, a bedside table.
Starting point is 00:01:58 On the bedside table, there's, like, a little candle and a bracket thing. Throw that at Jiggle Lump. It strikes the gralass. The gralass? The glass. Shut up. Is that the gralass from Grana?
Starting point is 00:02:12 Special Grana made glass. Rebounds off and kills Cref. No, it, like, strikes the glass and the window cracks a little bit but doesn't shatter. Jiggalump jumps off the windowsill and into the night. I've got to go and lift off the windowsill and into the night i gotta go and lift off the
Starting point is 00:02:25 windowsill yeah yeah yell out nothing like coherent like just sleepy oh i fucking can't 10 7 6 a.m trying to sleep drinking all night can't light a candle. And that's your night. All right. Okay, so the next morning you all wake up, which is good. Good start. I didn't have an aneurysm in the night, guys. Good.
Starting point is 00:02:58 And we didn't drink ourselves to death. I did break a window. You cracked it a little. You didn't properly break it. Let's hope the innkeeper doesn't notice that Let's just hightail it out before he comes knocking You pick up Grayson Who's waiting for you in the Tavern below the
Starting point is 00:03:15 Rooms and stuff like that Markov you don't know where is Like a cursory search of the area He's either chuffed off Or he's just like left early or something like that. You're not sure. Damn. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:03:28 That's upsetting. Yeah. Is there like a barkeep? Yeah. Can I ask him if like Markov has a tall gangly fellow who speaks? Couldn't speak a word of common. Not even speaking a fucking word of common. Has he chuffed on by?
Starting point is 00:03:42 Has he left? Is he staying here? The bar bucket nods He like It looks like he's trying a little hard to remember Yeah I vaguely remember him I don't think he's left though I remember him last night
Starting point is 00:03:53 You two He like gestures to Leo and Ainsley I'm holding my head You were drinking with him last night weren't you? Yes we were I'm not sure what he did after that He wasn't down here when I came down after taking you off. Is it cool if I go and, like, search
Starting point is 00:04:07 the rooms? No. Really, it isn't. What, search the rooms of my other patrons? Yes. Do you know which one he's in? Does he have a room here? I don't recall. You're a bad business owner. As long as they pay, I don't really care. Also, it's not my establishment.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Is that Sir Guy who would would not give our name? You can see him through one of the windows. He's not milling about. People mill about. Person does not mill about. He's just outside. Looks like he's waiting for you. I like seeing everyone get grace and they're like, let's go to him.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Okay. Yeah. Everyone did grace and they're like, let's go to him. Okay. Yeah. So you trudge out and he waves you down as you come out. He walks over and he says, I'm a little sorry about my shortness yesterday. I didn't really, not really what I was expecting, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:05:00 What were you expecting? Not in a rude way. I'm just curious. I don't know. Like tall guys? Not in a rude way. I'm just curious. I don't know. Like tall guys? I am a halfling. He's struggling a little bit with the phrasing here, and he says what he says very carefully. I was looking for, well, I was expecting, well, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:19 the stories were you killed those two evil wizards. We did. We did that. I didn't realize that. Were you paid for both of those? No. One we were. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:30 That's when we bought a bell, guys. Yeah, we bought a bell. The other one, we bought a map. We got told to come here. Kind of just assumed you did it out of the kindness of your own hearts. Well, it was a little of column A and a little of column we wanted to get paid. So mostly a little of column... But, like, you know, hey, it's still a good deed.
Starting point is 00:05:49 A good deed's a good deed, eh? Eh? Plus, I just like killing wizards. He ums and he uhs a little bit. Look at Griff a little bit. I found a ship that it isn't going exactly to Gnar, but it's close enough. You'll be able to bargain your way.
Starting point is 00:06:06 We'll find our way there. Yeah. All right. They'll be passing close enough that you could just ask the captain to make a detour. So how Gnir are we going to be to Gnar? I think it's pronounced Gnar. You can have that one for free.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Yeah. We all wink. Yeah. Grayson and the Knight lock eyes and you see them exchange a glance. I'll lead you to the boat now. I'm going to wink at Grayson. That's Grayson. I don't know who I'm talking to.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Yeah, Grayson. He's a Grayson? Grayson and the Knight are having a non-verbal conversation. Grayson's our Merc. Yeah, I know. Grayson's the guy you hired. Definitely. No, I'm in it for the long haul, guys. Good. I'm playing the long game. like a non-verbal conversation. Grayson's our merc. Yeah, I know. Yeah, Grayson's the guy you hired. That's definitely, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:46 No, I'm in it for the long haul, guys. Good. I'm playing the long game. I'm all wink at him. At the knight? No. No. Grayson. Grayson.
Starting point is 00:06:52 His butt is un-pinchable. So let's. To be fair, Grayson is also wearing like pretty decent armor, not as heavy as the knight. Hey, we're going on a ship. We're going on a ship. We're going on a ship. You have to take that armor off at night, Adam. Long nights at sea.
Starting point is 00:07:08 You are a predator. Grayson is so old. He's not that old. Nah, he has a badonkadonk bum. Yeah, he has the best ass elbow. You said that, Adam. You said it was a badonkadon-donk-a-donk. I don't think I said bonk-a-donk.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Yes, you said it was a bonk-a-donk for the ages. Oh, that's right. I did too. I said something. So, like, holy shit, that butt. Yeah. You bring it on yourself. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Do I bring it on myself? Anyway. The knight leads you to the ship ship and he introduces you to the captain and the captain leans over and shakes your hand he's a very like it's about to say stylish stylish is the wrong word he's a dwarf and he looks like he believes the more colorful your outfit the better it looks yes he's got like we're gonna buy that guy's coat The chest part of his coat is red The sleeves are green
Starting point is 00:08:10 His lapels are yellow And he's wearing a multicoloured vest and a vibrant red shirt He's got multi-patterned striped pants I genuinely compliment him on his outfit And a big red hat with a nice feather sticking in it
Starting point is 00:08:26 I compliment his outfit what colour is the feather? it's a purple feather where did you get the feather? I just bought the hat to be honest that's a great story we need to know where to buy these clothes for later Mr Dwarf
Starting point is 00:08:41 that's probably offensive I had a lot of them tailor-made. Amazing. We need to get in the name of your tailor. When you say that, the dwarf laughs, laughs, claps you on the back and says, we'll drink good. All right.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Yes. Okay. Okay. He gestures up the gangplank. All aboard. All right. Have I ever been on a ship before? That's a good question. Well, you would have had to have got on
Starting point is 00:09:08 one to come here. I was asleep. I don't remember. We crawled across ice. No, this is like an island in the middle of the sea. We've been on an island for a while, Ainsley. Oh, shit. Did you not know either? I thought we just
Starting point is 00:09:24 crawled across ice. Adam said we got there by cart. I just assumed we carted everywhere. What, until we drowned? Am I the only one who knew we were on an island? Probably paid more attention. The first adventure that you had was on a separate continent. I remember you did say continent a few times.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Yep, yep. Then I'm fine on the boat But these guys apparently didn't remember You fell asleep They just had their memories erased We apparently were just like This land looks weird And choppy And full of sharks
Starting point is 00:09:55 I didn't realise they had land sharks What's the ship like? Is it nice? It's a dwarven designed ship So it's small and designed mostly around defense and combat. It's a merchant ship, though. What does he sell? Oh, do you ask him that?
Starting point is 00:10:15 Yes! Oh, wait. Come on, funky mattresses, pillows. No, you ask him him And he laughs again Slaps you on the back Snaps a finger And a little servant boy Comes up with a tray of drinks
Starting point is 00:10:32 He puts a drink in your hand And says Little of this Little of that Fuck yes He takes a drink Takes a swig Are they drinks for us as well?
Starting point is 00:10:40 Yeah he hands you all a drink Hey Alright Yo ho Fucking ho He hands us Yeah Board the ship Captain De Silva Us as well? Yeah, he hands you all a drink. Hey! All right! Yo-ho fucking ho! He hands us. Yeah, board the ship. Captain De Silva, he says.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Criff, pum, pum, criff. He shakes all of your hands. Alternatively, criff, pum, pum, pum, criff. He shakes all of your hands, or at least he starts shaking out. He starts shaking your hand, but it ends in like a really tight bear hug. Oh, I love this man already.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Can I scan the shoreline for old Markov? Just to see if he's come on by? No. You can't see him. That's upsetting. I have a big sigh and head deeper into the ship to explore.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Okay. There's a lot of other people getting on the ship as well. Where's Jigglypuff? Where's Jiggly ship as well Where's Jigglypuff? Where's Jigglypuff, guys? Where's Googlepump? I struggle, puss Oh, that's a lot of dice to find out Ainsley, you're scanning around
Starting point is 00:11:42 and the ship is moored at the dock so they've got the chain down. You see Jiggalump like slowly climbing his way up the chain. You going to alert me? No. You son of a bitch. I love this guy. You son of a bitch.
Starting point is 00:12:00 I'm going to help it up. When it gets really close, I'm going to help it up. Okay. Yeah up You do that Now it's gonna be my familiar Take it, it's yours Leo, you notice You notice we're helping it up Can I scratch him under the chin
Starting point is 00:12:18 Yeah What is this betrayal Out of fucking nowhere He allows you to pet him. He helped us out with a trap once. He's all right. He's a good cat. We just put him in the trap.
Starting point is 00:12:30 It wasn't him. You know, hey, you sons of bitches. Yeah. No, give him lots of pats and be like, Jiggler, we missed you. I feed him a bit of rations. Feed him some of your rations? He nibbles on, I guess it would be jerky. Yeah. Good. No. Yeah, good.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Pieces of shit. He like rolls over onto his back and lets you scratch his belly. Yes! Scratch his belly so good. I miss Cartmichael. Cartmichael in a watery grave right now. Slowly becoming a mule skeleton. What was that look?
Starting point is 00:13:08 Can he come back as a mule skeleton? Animated mule skeleton. That's going to take a lot of doing. You should have gotten like a new spell. Oh, I should have. Next spell. Animate mule. Next spell, I'll get animate mule.
Starting point is 00:13:23 No such spell. Not with that attitude. Alas. Nor with any attitude as there is no such spell. Years of research. Go on. Could just, oh my God. I bought the ship.
Starting point is 00:13:41 We're already on the, yes. Okay, so you're on the ship. You set sail. Are you interested in any other... There's like a bunch of other passengers. Are you interested in any of them? I'll give them a cursory glance. Yes. Yes. Make small talk. A bunch of them are... Keep yourself entertained. It's gonna be a he-he-o,
Starting point is 00:13:56 guys. A bunch of them are Nords, like the people from here. And they... From their dress, you assume them to be merchants. Some of them are... You see, like like a elf and a couple halflings. Mostly the crew of the ship are dwarves as well. Cool. A couple halflings among the crew.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Ah, cool, halflings, my bros. Yeah, I try and get buddy-buddy with the halflings. Yep. I hope you just end up fighting. Adam just gave me the dirtiest look. Yeah, you associate with people of your own race, you piece of shit. You do all right. Sick.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Is there a halfling lady? What? Is there a halfling lady? Yeah. Yeah. You don't know what sexuality I am. Is there a halfling? High or low?
Starting point is 00:14:42 I'm so excited. Low. Low? Yeah, there excited. Low. Low? Yeah, there's a couple. One of them is a passenger and there's a bunch of part of the crew. I go up and I introduce myself to the full elf. Oh, they just call them elves. And I'm like, hey, full elf.
Starting point is 00:15:01 I'm like half a... No, he doesn't do that. I would be so afraid. What? I would be so afraid I would be so afraid if you flicked my hair I'd be like take off that mask Markov No I Hi full elf
Starting point is 00:15:14 What? What language do you speak in? Hopefully elven I think you have elven You have the option to talk in common though Well let's see if I do Yeah I get common in elven Which one the option to talk in common though well let's see if i do yeah i get i get common in elven and which one do you talk in draconic elven elven okay why not let's goblin when when would i've ever learned that and why i taught it to you and then promptly forgot it
Starting point is 00:15:37 or you just knew it because you decided it would be smart to know it. The elf looks you up and down and you see him Hang on. Do I? Do I though? You see him roll his eyes. He seems a little unimpressed with you. What do you want? He's just saying, hey, whoa. Might be here a while.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Just wanted to see if we could make a support network when we're getting seasick. Rude! Now walk away. I ignore her yelling. And you are yelling from across the ship? The entire crew is looking at you. Yes, yes, not committed. Do it.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I'm sorry, I don't associate myself with half-breeds. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Son. Mate. I'm not your son. I'm not your mate. It's gonna be a year. How about you go into this... For you, maybe. I'm only here for a month. Good! Oh, well.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I like gesturing my half-breed like, racist. What's wrong with half-elves? Half-breeds, you mean? Well, yeah, like, whatever. You know, like, pure elf. Can we hear mean? Well, yeah, like whatever. You know, like pure elf. Can we hear his? Well, you're like pure jerk. Apparently Ainsley can because she has nothing better to do
Starting point is 00:16:53 than meddle in the lives of every other party member somehow from across the ship while petting a cat that she is trying to hide from the person she's listening to. Yes. Leo, yeah, you can hear. I just want to start getting my... Ainsley, you've already commented, so I'm just going to say you can hear, I guess.
Starting point is 00:17:15 I kind of want to just get my dagger out. And kill him? I kind of want to stab him a little. Oh, my God, you're like five minutes into the voyage and murder is already on the table. Can I? He's behind you. This is not unusual.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Full breed elves treat everyone like shit. I kind of give Kriff a look and flash my dagger and point to him. Oh, no, no, no. Neither of you would find this particularly unusual as well. They're notoriously racist. But he's the bro. You can still be mad about it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:44 I mean, you can be mad about it, yeah. I am mad about it. It's not unusual. I wouldn't resort to murder. You might. Might. Depends how much you love me. A lot right now.
Starting point is 00:17:55 We went through a death of card, Michael, together. Yeah, I know. We bombed it. We've had a long time together. We're hiding jiggle from you. We love you. Okay. Yeah, let's talk about that.
Starting point is 00:18:04 You don't know about that. You don't know about that. You don't know that yet. Maybe just like a fist and just mention like the punch him in the back of the head. Like, hey, you want me to go in? I want to try and give him a symbol for later. See if he gets it. Or if he misinterprets for now. You do that.
Starting point is 00:18:19 The elf like looks at you, turns around and looks at you as well, Leo. He like glances between you, gets up and just walks away. Chip in. Look at him. We'll bloody get him down the track. Give him a good red hot thumbs up. Can I scan the ship for strange? For what?
Starting point is 00:18:39 How babin? What's the level of attractiveness of everybody on the ship? Is strange a euphemism for babin chicks? Yes. I've never heard that before. Just like a little bit of strange. A little bit of strange. Get some strange on you.
Starting point is 00:18:58 No, I don't know this expression. None of that makes sense in a sentence, guys. I could tell you what that word is in elven. Makes sense in a black sentence, guys. I could tell you what that word is in Elven, but I couldn't. And now I'm sad. No, I probably don't scan for strange. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:19:15 I was just about to. Oh, no, scan for strange. Roll a strange. I feel like it's a big deal. I just picked up a die. You committed. You've gone to all the effort. No. It Doesn't look like There's anyone here who's just up for it
Starting point is 00:19:28 That's a shame Yeah I'm just gonna Kick it then Kick it What's Grayson doing? Grayson? Yeah He looks distinctly seasick
Starting point is 00:19:41 Oh guys Go give him a hug Yes yes yes Okay Ainsley distinctly seasick. Oh, guys. Go give him a hug. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Comfort him. Okay, Ainsley. Ainsley. Yep. I'm like, can I see what her intentions are?
Starting point is 00:19:50 Grayson is leaning over the side of the ship. Can I see what Ainsley's intentions are? Yeah, Ainsley like. I hit the microphone. How? It really hurt. Okay. You just did it again.
Starting point is 00:20:02 I know. What are you? Stop it. Relax. I dropped my eraser. Okay, I'm good, guys. You just did it again Stop it Relax I dropped my eraser Okay I'm good guys Okay so I can see her intentions Ainsley makes a beeline for Grayson
Starting point is 00:20:14 And it's quite obvious Can I interject very very quickly Half elf scamper Just before she interjects Half laying scamper Did interject this before. I'm like, Ainsley, play it cool. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:29 I thought you were going to stop this, but actually you're just giving her advice. Yeah. Remember what happened with Dustin? Dustin. Yep. Nah, I got this. Play this cool.
Starting point is 00:20:36 I'm a princess. Dustin was a fucking farmer. Dustin was not in any way a nice piece of tail. I was so, so close to like setting that candle on fire. I think I got this. Let's do it. Okay. I like got you patting the shoulder. Yes. Okay. Oh my god. Okay. I'm gonna walk
Starting point is 00:20:53 over to Grayson. Are we really gonna role play this? Yes. Oh my god. Okay. You walk over to Grayson. He's like leaning over the side of the ship. Whoever was gonna like try and pick up like an elf chick or whatever, I like leaning over the side of the ship. Whoever was trying to pick up an elf chick or whatever, I did not assume Ali would be the one. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Well, to be fair, Ali still isn't picking up an elf chick. It's a guy and he's human. In general, to try and pick up in D&D, I just didn't assume Ali would be the one to do it. I really didn't. Gonna be honest, guys? Me neither. Let's do this. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:21:24 I got my game face on. He's leaning over the side. You approach him. What are you doing? I'm just going to be like, hey, buddy. And then just. Oh, my God. Pick up line of the century.
Starting point is 00:21:36 And then just like put my hand on his back and just give him a gentle pat and be like, hey, how are you feeling? And then. You immediately realize that he is mid-chuck. Yep, yep. Nope, that's fine. Long haul. He doesn't respond.
Starting point is 00:21:53 I'm in the long game. All right. I'm just going to like, I'll be like, all right, man. Okay. It's okay. You'll get used to it. We'll get you some ginger. And then I just slowly pat his back in gentle circles.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Nowhere near his bum. See what I mean, guys? Long game. You're playing it cool. He nods, like finishes, spits, and then says, thanks. No worries. I'll go get you some ginger. Now, I'm going to walk away.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Are you going to get him the ginger? Captain De Silva is like walking around the deck and he's talking to everyone, like passengers and crew alike. He has a short conversation with them. You don't know exactly what's happening, but at the end of every single one, he laughs, snaps his fingers for the servant boy and has a drink with them. Okay, yep.
Starting point is 00:22:36 So I think maybe I'll walk over to Captain or Servant Boy, everyone, we're just as close as. Captain De Silva, yeah? Yep, yeah. I'll be like, hey, buddy. Hi, how are you going? This is exciting. He laughs, slaps you on the back, like shoves a drink into your hands.
Starting point is 00:22:50 My kind of man. Anyway, we're just wondering if someone who sells a little bit of everything has a little bit of ginger, a little bit of hot water, ginger, a bit of tea. Hot water's going to be. I do not know what ginger is, he says. He laughs and hands you another drink We've got one any chance Something for like just seasickness
Starting point is 00:23:08 Yeah that Have you got anything that makes you seasick? A friend of yours doesn't have his land legs Seasick? Seasick on the land Only on the land He's got land legs Doesn't have his sea legs
Starting point is 00:23:22 That's true But And then I'm going to lean in close and I'll be like, but you see, mate, I'm playing the long game, so if you could just help a sister out. High or low? Which one's going to let me win? That's the question.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Hi. That's why I'm asking. The silver light, he sees where you're looking. He, like, glances. He's trying to be very surreptitious about this. He glances over. You see, like, a big, like, beneath his beard, like, a big grin on his face. He, like, nudges you.
Starting point is 00:23:55 He's like, don't worry. I got your back. Yes. Me and De Silva, we're a tag team of wing people. I don't know how to take that. Tag team of wing people. Is De Silva know how to take that. Tag team of wing people. Is De Silva also taking drinks? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:24:09 De Silva is drinking with every single person. Is he drinking as well? Yes. Okay, cool. You've been at sea for less than an hour, and he's had like ten drinks. I was just wondering if he was getting us all drunk and him not. And I was wondering if he was drinking. No, De Silva's possibly the most wasted of you guys and he's the ship
Starting point is 00:24:26 captain. I'm loving this cruise. We're gonna die. It's not a cruise. Nah. It's a good round of bush here. I am loving this cruise. Get shirtless, soak in some sun. Yeah. Get shirtless, soak in some sun. Yeah. It's winter.
Starting point is 00:24:42 I get shirtless and soak in some sun. You're gonna's winter. I get shirtless and some kids see sun. You're gonna catch hypothermia. Nevertheless. Oh my god. I get into cruise mode immediately. You take off your jacket first, then your coat,
Starting point is 00:24:57 then your shirt. Realize that it is a bad idea. The cruise has not yet begun, but wait till we get to warmer weather. We take two points of cold back. I then rug up very quickly. This doesn't seem like it's working. It's the middle of winter, guys.
Starting point is 00:25:15 But I was happy because I got a little bit of warms. Well, a little bit of sunlight hit my body. You didn't get a little bit of warms. Not at all. You got no warms. But hey, I've made the effort. I've been trying to get into a party mood. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Hey, true. Hey, true. Okay. Can I just quickly go down and explore the hold? Okay. So there's the deck. Yeah. And on the same level as the deck itself is De Silva's quarters.
Starting point is 00:25:40 So, you know, the atypical ship. It's got like that raised area where up the back of the ship where they've got the steering wheel the wheel to steer the ship right below that on the same level as the main deck is De Silva's quarters and the captain area and stuff below that is
Starting point is 00:25:59 uh quartering for like you guys, the guests are we sleeping in hammocks? Yeah, you'll be sleeping in hammocks. You're used to a sore back, guys. They have individual, not individual rooms, but they have rooms and there's maybe four or five to a room.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Below that is the crew quarters. The crew just sleep in one big thing, essentially all in hammocks. And below that is the cargo hold. In the cargo hold, it's more or less empty aside from personal effects of the passengers. That's disappointing. Hey, can I look through the elves? You wouldn't know which one's which. I'll look through them all.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Maybe start opening one... No, they probably have a guard down here, to be honest. Hey, man. I just got some stuff back here. Okay. I turn around some stuff back here. Okay. I turn around and go back. Very surly dwarf with a drink in his hand. That wasn't gonna work.
Starting point is 00:26:52 That wasn't gonna work. You continue to chat with the halflings and maybe as the sun starts going down, so it's been a better part of a day have we left yet you left yeah you said sail ages ago i just went through both in game and out it was crypt pump and not it was fucking jiggle lump being brought onto the ship and then about then you guys set sail all right cool, fuck it, what was it?
Starting point is 00:27:25 Yeah, when the sun starts going down, De Silva yells for attention and everyone turns to him. He is plastered. He's swaying a little bit as he says this. All right, I'll show you all your rooms. Some of you will unfortunately have to share. He looks over to you and he winks. Oh, yes!
Starting point is 00:27:48 Yeah, I'm down. But most of you will be getting your own room. You absolute delight. So, the way he's worked out rooms is Leo and Kriff, you're in a room with
Starting point is 00:28:03 a dwarven passenger. The rest of the passengers are in all these other different rooms and Ainsley, it's you and Grayson in your own room yes you notice no wait, it would be as you were getting settled in your room
Starting point is 00:28:21 one of the crew comes in and just removes all of the hammocks except for two and then installs one big hammock. Yes! Because God fucking damn. The dice are on my side
Starting point is 00:28:38 today, Adam. Oh, God. Yeah, Grayson doesn't notice. Yes! Grayson's oblivious and handsome. Grayson doesn't notice. Yes! Grayson's oblivious and handsome. Grayson is still sick. So, I want to...
Starting point is 00:28:53 Oh, my God. I want to fast forward a couple weeks, but every single day I know you're going to be on this fucking shit, aren't you? Okay. Dude, let's just say... You're playing the long game. I am playing the long game. I'm going to make a couple rolls just to see how well you do.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Yep, yep, all right. First off, Grayson, really, it gets worse. He spends more time leaning over decks, chucking up, than he does anything else. So maybe I'm going to make it a little bit of a side mission to make him feel better, you know? Get some salt and vinegar chips. Third night, someone tears up your fucking, your attic.
Starting point is 00:29:31 It looks like cat claws. No way he followed us though, right? I wouldn't know. Who? That fucking gigolum. You've got the one with the mental connection. Didn't you know where he is at all times? That doesn't work as well as you'd think.
Starting point is 00:29:50 The whole thing's pretty shoddy. I feel like I was given, like, the not-quite-perfect version of all this shit. You were like, you got there, like, after all the good ones had gone, and they're like well we got this one we got this familiar
Starting point is 00:30:07 I guess you could have it I mean I just shrug and I it's got like this little sign display model lonely and I take that
Starting point is 00:30:14 oh oh every now and then one of you except you Chris see Jiggle Lump
Starting point is 00:30:21 just like around the ship super you've seen like someone has mentioned it to Captain De Silva. Captain De Silva just chuckled and chuckled, laughed. And you all would have noticed at some point outside De Silva's like fucking cabin door is like a little saucer of ale. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Hopefully he gets alcohol poisoning. He might. Just throughout the week, if I see Jiggle Lump, I'm going to give him a little tickle under the chin, under the belly, if he likes it, and then just be like, you're alright, Jiggle Lump. Do you have any other sets of clothes? That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:30:56 Other than the one you're wearing? I don't think we have a local outfit. I'm going to go with a red hot no. You don't, because at some point they get shredded. Oh god, you know what I had left? Oh, the priest some point they get shredded. Oh, God. You know what I had left? Oh, the priest clothes. They get shredded. And the wizard robes are also gone?
Starting point is 00:31:11 They're, like, dragged out of your, like, little bunk trunk. Hmm. I want to set up those robes and, like, make a little makeshift bed. I'm like, what's that for? Just in case someone wants to nap. Someone? Who? Maybe just us. I'm like, what's that for? Just in case someone wants to nap. Someone? Who? Maybe just us.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I'm fucking onto you. Ainsley, you do a decent job of hitting on Grayson. Yeah. He is so oblivious. Hard to get, that's all. Side note, guys. He's so busy chucking up guys. But here's the thing, right?
Starting point is 00:31:43 Long Haul doesn't have to finish on the ship, right? The end game. We have a whole adventure with this. Yeah, yeah, end game, mate. We're out there in some tents. Oh, no, yours goes missing. Some cat, like, tore it up and I gave mine to what's-his-face, Griff.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Oh, we better bunk up together. Oh, what? And then maybe later he'll take a bullet for me. Every second or third night, Captain De Silva has like a raucous party in his cabin where anyone who goes just gets blind drunk. Does anyone here go? Of course.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Yeah. All of you? You get to know De Silva pretty quickly and pretty well. You guys can't party nearly as hard on his level, but he enjoys your company nonetheless. A lot of the crew get on board as well, but very few passengers other than the dwarfish ones do. Does Snooty Half-Elf hassle my grapes anymore?
Starting point is 00:32:37 He spends a lot of time in his room. I asked De Silva about him. That's Snooty Elf. What's the go? De Silva laughs, shoves a beer in your hand. He pays well. All right. I think De Silva has a drinking problem, but it's like a social... I don't know how to interact with people.
Starting point is 00:32:54 De Silva's just a dwarf. So when they answer things, just give him a drink. I mean, it works for him. He answers your question with the drink and the answer. So he pays a lot of money? The elf, yeah. I thought I'd ask a lot more questions. My intention is to rob him, but I don't say that.
Starting point is 00:33:12 You don't say that. But I'm asking questions. Like, oh, when does he? You are so bad. Where is he from? You are the worst liar, but the silver is so drunk he doesn't notice anyway. Sorry, what's the question you're asking? Where's he from? What cabin's he staying?
Starting point is 00:33:27 Don't know. Don't know a lot about him. He has one big crate down in the hold. I think he might be a magic user, you know? All elves are. Not that I got anything against you. Slugs you in the shoulder, hands you a drink. I'm like half a magic user and I'm half a noun.
Starting point is 00:33:44 The silver thinks that is fucking hilarious. For the rest of the voyage. That's like a line he just says. I laugh for half the time he does. I'm done and he goes for another half. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:59 So creative is, is it noticeable kind of thing? Dunno, never looked inside it. Don't give a shit. It's like you guys. Shady as fuck, but I don't care. That's cool. That's cool, buddy. You drink well. That's what I want.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Is his crate noticeable than every other person's crate? Smaller, I guess. Smaller? All right. Thank you. Cheers. Good. Thanks.
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