D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #17 Introspection, Practice and Banging

Episode Date: November 1, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes remember that they got on the ship in the first place for a reason. We attain a higher level of experience, bid a fond farewell to Captain DeSilver and finally reach the city of Gnarr. Krif tries to haggle with a barkeep, Leo regrets not stabbing the full elf and Princess Ansley finally gets what she always wanted. So pop some bubbly and join our party to celebrate as Ansley’s alter-ego loses her mind for a full two minutes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio, I'll show you my purple worm. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table listening to their dungeon master cackle maniacally, but that's exactly what we're doing today. Welcome to episode 17 of D&D is for Nerds. I'm Jackson Bailey, playing Kriff Pompom Kriff. This is Ali Kathleen, she'll be playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Hello! And Joel Zammett, who'll be playing Leo Shadow.

Hi! And of course, our illustrious, handsome, beautiful DM, Adam Crabjerky. Well, thanks for the compliments. Shut the hell up. Previously on D&D is for Nerds. Adam, one night I'd like to go invisible and sneak into the elf's cabin. Step aside, ladies. Hold the fucking phone.

Good night, good sirs. And I walk out. Who is that? Oh, fuck. What? It's the elf's crate. You mean racist jerk elf? Yeah, just like stabbing stupid face.

I'm going to piff that chest off the side of the boat. Friends, you and my familiar, we've got a psychic link. Just give me the saucer. Just give me the saucer, come on. Jiggleum drops it. No! It clatters on the ground. The next day, everyone is assembled on deck

What we'd usually do with someone like this Kill Holier But I happen to like you I've been drunk for months This is not healthy De Silva's been drunk his entire life Just shy of a week passes And the elf leaves

And you're going up along the coast and you stop every now and then. People get on, people get off. There's a lot of, you meet a lot of faces, a lot of people. The one constant are the crew and De Silva especially. After that other elf goes, the parties fall back to two or three, like two or three a day.

No, they fall back to like every two or three nights. In these parties, I want to be like convincing De Silva that that elf was a prick. De Silva agrees with you. Get him one out. Team us. He does not argue at all with that point. But he's like, you know, you get the impression

that he's just trying to be peacekeeper here. Okay. Oh, hang on, wait. As we fast forward months, we'll find out. Yes. Well, Grayson gets his land legs. His sea legs. His land sea legs.

Land. He loses his land land legs and gets his land sea legs. Lucky. He gains his sea legs. Maybe three months in. Lucky. He gains his sea legs maybe three months in. Yep. Uh-huh.

It's winter, mate. He notices that you're chatting him up. Yeah, it's winter, mate. It gets cold at night. Gets snuggly. It's actually kind of passing winter now. It gets cold at night. Perfect snuggle weather.

It gets hot, so take off your shirt, show me that body. That's why I'm not seducing you, my guest. Grayson has noticed, but he seems like, well, you've got him like, not indifferent, but like he seems to just sort of think it's funny more than anything else. Look, I'm not going to put the desperate feel forward. I just want to continue to play it cool. He looks like he's doing the same thing, sort of.

All right. All right. It's a fucking high school. It's not a no. It's not a no. I just want to, like, the next couple of weeks. Jesus Christ. Fourth month, you bang.

Yes! Yes! All right. He's like, hard to get, hard to get. Can't resist. Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes! All right. He's like, hard to get, hard to get. Can't resist. Yes. Yes. Yes!

Oh, I cannot stop getting excited about this. Woo! Yeah. Are you going to, like, keep this up? Hold on. Hold on. I just need to. No.

So happy. You've got, like, another six months on this voyage. I know. Are you keeping this sort of shit up? Okay, right. Ali is just there. You are there. Everyone's getting high fives the next morning.

That whole like, yeah, that is what I imagined you saying, coming into our cabin. Directly after. Immediately after. Yeah. Oh, we're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Grease the floor. Is there a fire? Directly after Immediately after Yeah Oh we're like Oh my god Oh my god Grease the floor

Is there a fire Okay Right Grease the You fucking moron Right Okay So

Over the next few months I want to step it up a little bit And just be a little bit of like Hey That was alright See you around Right I've already rolled Like the next couple of months Unless you want to step it up a little bit and just be a little bit of like, hey, that was all right. See you around, right? I've already rolled. Like the next couple of months, unless you want to do otherwise,

are a fuck fest. Yes! Oh, my God. Woo! Let's do this. I am set. Never mind. Continue.

We don't see much of Ainsley, I suppose. Me and you, Bond, I guess. Grayson, like, changes out sex with chucking over the ship, which is his most done activity. What's his stats? I forget. Hey, guys, guys, I just, I don't want to admit that maybe not the best plan, but no butt pinching. Go late.

Skipped butt pinching. I know. Can you imagine how late you'd have been getting if you hadn't been butt pinching before? Oh, my goodness, I'm so excited. Fuck yeah. Over the course of the voyage, you all learn a little something about yourselves.

And that is the impetus to, you know, bring your experience up and you, like, for example, what? Eh? Eh? Bring your experience up, you know, to the next level. Does that mean a level up, Adam? Yes, it does. Yeah.

A red pot three. You're all level three now. I didn't even write level 2 Yeah I'm still at level 1 on my sheet Yeah The power of the boning levels you up Apparently I hope my parents never listen to this

You got that excited God same Oh boy Jackson you gain two new spells yes you get now summon swarm of bees swarm of insects

or stuff like that hang on I bookmarked the page because I know you'd want to do it yes yes I do bees always guys forever bees maybe different ones, though. Wasps. Maybe bees.

No, wasps. Too intense. Mostly bees. Lady bugs. Locusts. Oh, yeah. Wreck-a-farms shit. I think locusts is one of them.

Summon swarms of caterpillars? Summon a swarm of bats, rats, or spiders. Butterflies. Bats, rats, spiders. Spiders is still pretty good. That's pretty good. Let's stay away from spiders. Spiders are still pretty good. That's pretty good. And a swarm of them. That's also pretty good.

And then you also get summon monster too. I like summon monster. Summon monster. What's your alignment? It is chaotic neutral. Yes. What do I get? Summon some fucking sigcon?

Well, you can summon a giant celestial bee. Are you shitting me? Yeah. A giant celestial bee? It you shitting me? A giant celestial bee? It's not like literally like giant. Well, for a bee, it's giant. It's maybe about the size of a dog. That's huge.

Oh, my fucking God, guys. What are we going to do with a giant celestial bee? Can we ride it? Celestial means good aligned, by the way. Oh, my God. Giant justice bee. It can smite evil yes forever and literally that is out of curiosity as an evil what happens if he am i getting attacked by a

b out it might get tossed out oh no i'll keep it on the d out if. If we run out of monsters for them to fight, will the bee turn on us? What? No. The bee just got that much blood loss. There's no neutral ones. It's all like good and evil, nothing in between. What's the evil one summon? You can also summon anything from the first level list.

So Celestial Dog, Celestial Owl, Celestial Badger, Celestial Monkey, Fiendish Dire Rat, Fiendish Raven. Oh, my God. Celestial Monkey and Celestial Justice Bee. Yeah, they're all Celestial or Fiendish. So, you know, angels and devils, basically. Yeah, but in terms of bees. Just that one bee.

Celestial Monkey. No, they sound dumb. You can get a Celestial Giant Bombardier Beetle or a Celestial Giant Nah they sound dumb You can get a giant Celestial giant bombardier beetle Or a celestial giant fighter beetle Several of those Can we get the celestial bee to fight Jiggalump? Jiggalump evil align? Well he's a bit of a prick

He should be You are also a bit of a prick And he's really only ever been mean to you So you also What else did I give you I gave you a feat I forgot what it was Did you

Oh that's right improved unarmed strike So now you're actually useful with your fists Well quotation marks useful Everybody's getting punched and attacked By giant bees, guys. Yes. And I have some sort of weapon finesse. All of your abilities go up.

Yeah, and Leo, you now have weapon finesse, so you're a lot better with your rapier. Excellent. You get extra sneak attack damage, so when you're flanking or catch an enemy unawares. And you now have trap sense, which means that you have a bonus, basically, for a trap. So, you know, like if spikes come out of the walls and try to hit you,

it just gives you, and it's just something I'll have to incorporate, a little bonus to dodge them. I'm going to try and be like a good rogue. Yeah. As in I'm going to try and sneak more and just run in less. Yeah. Yeah. Other than that, all of your abilities go up a little bit.

Sick. And Ainsley, you, what was it? You, forget. Please don't say pregnant. No. We'll say you used protection. Yes! God, pig intestines.

Unpleasant. Oh, no! Hey, it's the past. Stop it. Deal with it. It's not the past. It's not real, it's not real, it's. Hey, it's the past. Stop it. Deal with it. It's not the past. It's not real. It's not real.

It's not real. Has that just ruined the joy of banging? It's just new, like exclusively butt stuff or something. No, even worse. Choose butt stuff or pig intestines. You know what? I am just not getting into pregnancy and shit like that. Just don't worry about it. Use a bit of Maychant. I don't even, like, I don just not getting into pregnancy and shit like that. So let's not worry about it.

He just used a bit of mage hat. I don't even, like, I don't want to describe it. I don't want to, like, I don't want to fucking. God, if my parents. Ainsley, you got better with your bow. I gave you a weapon focus ability, which means that you're just better with it. Even better. You also gained the endurance ability, which.

Wish I had that one in real life. It's already. Oh, yes. Yeah, you. Oh, wait, the dirty reference. Yes. It got me bone what? It got you boned.

Yes. Still pumped, guys. Hang on. Actually, I forget the exact. Basically, just You bone a lot That's what that feat does Did I get really fit too? It just means

Endurance, it means kind of what it says on the bottle You just get bonuses to Go for longer in different Aspects of your life Right You can swim, run longer Any physical activity I think it even adds to life. Right. You can swim, run longer. Any physical activity.

I think it even adds to like resisting cold and heat sort of. So you can go on a forced march. Super. Or like endure elements longer. Yeah. I'm pretty awesome. Yeah. Good.

All right. Well, now we know how you leveled up. I'm good with it, guys. Quiet introspection practice banging what else and all of your abilities go up by a little bit as well we fast forward a few months and now you're very close

to Gnar the pirate city the ship is cutting it very close to this city on it its regular voyage and you guys still haven't really mentioned to De Silva that you planned to go there yourself. Oh, we did not.

Yeah, the knight told you. I remember that. That's on us. Hey, uh, uh, uh, uh, Silva? Slaps you on the back, hands you a mug. We need to basically Gnar

We need to get off That doesn't make sense We need to get off at Gnar He laughs though Slaps you on the back Shoves a mead into your hand We're travelling to Gnar Where's the best port you could just drop us off close enough to?

Just like a little whoop. You know. As long as I've seen you think. There is no port nearby. So do you suggest just leaping out and swimming? I wouldn't do that to you.

Do you have a longboat or a dinghy? I don't want to stop in the city itself because I fear pirates. Hey, that's fair enough. And they'd never be a merchant ship. Could we build a boat? Tell you what, I can take you... Okay, I'll take you like a bit east of there.

Yeah, we won't moor there or anything like that. I'll take you nearby. I'll give you one of my long boats. You row to shore and you'll have to walk the rest of the way. I wouldn't recommend rowing the entire way there. Row to shore, walk there. We'll do that. All right.

Does my block of wood float? Yes. Captain De Silva, don't you war. It lasts for three rounds, Jackson. Just do it every two rounds. I can only do it twice. Oh, no. That's six rounds.

Three times, I think. So you get it for six seconds a round, three rounds, 18 seconds. Guys, thank you. We will use your longbow. We will love your longbow. That'll be just the best. Also, you can only do one. Reimbursement of that.

No, it's okay. Thank you. You're a delight. We love you. This has been a lovely trip. You've been the nicest person we've ever met. And I love your outfits. Except for Gracie's.

Same. Oh, the silver. Like, you know, just flicks his collar. What a king. All right, let's do that and chuff off to the... Cool. Yeah, so they get really close to shore, but because there's no proper dock,

they just like moor offshore a little bit and they lower you down in a longboat. Know how to use a longboat, right? He says, is it they're lowering you down? Sure! Yeah! Look at Grayson. He laughs, and they lower down three mugs for you.

Yeah. Yeah, for the road, as they say. I look at Grayson. You don't have longboats? Oh, that's right. Grayson's with you. Four mugs they lower down. Grayson, like, looks at the ship, looks at Grayson. You don't love this? Oh, that's right. Grayson's with you. Four mugs, they lower down some. Grayson looks at the ship, looks at the boat.

How hard can it be, right? Right? It should be pretty easy. It's a long boat. Let's do this. She's gotten so friendly, guys. Have you noticed? I have.

Yeah. I give him a wink. Are they like an official couple now, or are they just banging? Oh, come on, man. Ronan's like, fuck. Grayson shakes his head. He's not in the mood right now. I mean, we're on a boat, so probably a good idea.

Yeah, it's not the, you know, don't want to rock the boat. Fair enough, fair enough. Just for the sake of us, are they just exclusively banging? Are they boyfriend and girlfriend? I don't know. What are you trying to get at? Is it just sex for you? Well, I mean, I started as a...

But you fell in love. No, you see, I don't want to fall in love unless he starts first. So when he starts showing feelings, I might respond. Grayson's an old-fashioned type of guy. Well, he messed that up real quick, didn't he? Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. Anyway, we'll just see how it plays out.

We'll just wait until a battle happens Let's just say if he jumps in front of a spear Then I'll know Expectations I'm going to say hi Yeah, let's just see If he saves my life And if we do that bit where someone tries to attack me

And he jumps on me so that the arrows go over my head And we have that moment where we lie on top of each other And he's like, he has that moment We'll go from there, I'm just saying I keep forgetting you guys hired Grayson Jesus Christ, I've got the character sheet like right here And guys, remember what I said If someone gets in a romantic relationship

We might get a discount So you are You are a heartless bitch That's what you are You are a heartless bitch That's what you are You have seduced this man No Tried to get him to fall in love with you Falling in love with him back

Just for a discount No, no, no I'm just saying That's a bonus No, it's called bonus externality, right? If things happened It's a bonus on the side It's a positive externality

Unintended consequences Yep Alright, let's do this Okay It's a bonus on the side. It's a positive externality. Unintended consequences. All right. All right, let's do this. Okay. It's becoming clearer and clearer how batshit insane Ainsley is. I'm beginning to learn a little bit more about your character and a little bit more about you.

I think we've all learned a little about both Ainsley as the character and Ali as the player. Yes. Okay. Let's just try and work out this long boat and trough off onto the land. Okay, let's just try and work out this longboat and chuff off onto the land. Ali. God, I'm sorry.

No, it's Ali. Did you say Ali? Yeah. I said it correct the first time. Speaking of longboats, this has been a long teaching of Adam how to pronounce my name. If it makes you feel any better, I still say Jimson's name.

Jackson's name. No, Adam, it is Jimson. We all pronounce it incorrect. I'm Jimson Bailey. B-A-I-I-Y. Yeah? Yeah, that's how you spell it. Jackson Bailey.

Jimson Bailey. Jimson Beeline, anyway. Jim Beely Gibson Beeline anyway Gibson Celestial Beeline oh that's right as soon as the longboat is in the water Jiggle Lump leaps off the ship

and lands up the front on the opposite side from Griff as he leaps can I send a swarm of bats at him? I probably don't have the reflexes for that. He just landed and I'm like He's like you know how the boat will have

a high prow thing? I don't know what to call it. I think prow is right. He's like perched on that, just staring at you. You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. Like paws down a little bit and he curls up near Ainsley.

Yes. Dude, how good am I? The cat loves me. The mercenary loves me. He won't attack if he's near an ally. I just glare at you. I give you like the dirtiest look. I'm going to give you a thumbs up.

Like you suck, bitch. Double thumbs up. Jiggle bump hisses at you. This fucking boat I'm on. Okay. Who's rowing? Grayson takes a row. I'll move my little halfling hands.

Well, to be fair fair Grayson rolled pretty low so it's shit going but you get to shore eventually my arms are sore why doesn't one of you take over guys I have to use my whole body to row I'm using so many more muscles than him

Grayson when he gets off the longboat, he literally kisses the beach. He is so glad to not be on a boat anymore. I'm going to pat him on the back and then just keep walking. What's the environment like on the shore? Like, what are we... It's

kind of tropical, like palm tree... You can take your shirt off now. Get some sun. I take my shirt off and get some sun. Yeah, Grayson strips down to the waist. Oh, sun. I take my shirt off and get some sun. Yeah, Grayson strips down to, you know, the waist. Oh, hello. I'm ashamed of my body. Grayson is fucking built. Some people already knew that.

Yeah, I did. I think about my pudgy little wizard body and rug up a little bit extra. I maybe take off my coat. No, you know what, though? Oh, Everything's shredded That's right You've been revealing your belly No wait

You have the most colourful jacket You could possibly imagine And a bright vibrant pink shirt Oh my god What a lovely man You like insisted that you wear a cravat. I'm not changing. Ever.

I'll get sweaty on the beach, I don't give a fuck. Can we look? Oh, and I'll chuck on the cape. Okay, you put the cape on. Have a look where we are and try and head towards... You know you're supposed to go west. Just follow the coast and you'll get there eventually. We'll do that then.

Yeah, De Silva gave you pretty clear instructions. Sick. We'll do that. Yeah, just travel along the coast. Everything short of a map. Barefoot. Yeah. Chit-chatting away. Looking for crabs. Long nice walks on the beaches. Yeah. So, Nahr, as you approach it, is in like a little bay

in the natural formation of this island. You immediately see it as a very tightly packed city. The buildings are built, it's like a CBD. It's built vertical rather than outwards. You're not sure exactly what the reason for that is. It doesn't look like there's enough space for roads in between some of the buildings. Especially at the center, they're very tightly packed. You're coming into town.

The first thing you notice is there's no farmers or anything here. A lot of towns, you hit farms and then maybe some small villages and then the city proper. Here it's just jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle, city. This place looks like the only people who live here steal for a living, essentially. It looks like a pirate city. Okay.

Before we go, like, stuff stuff on the city, do you remember the name of the guy we're looking for? Carter? Carter. Cotor? Carter. All right. Even Grayson is like, Carter.

I said I stopped paying attention with the full elf and all of that. It was a pretty, like, the banging, like, it was a busy journey. You didn't do any banging. No, but banging happened. They did. Inslee and Grayson. And I'm still disappointed I didn't get to stab the half, the full elf.

I'm not going to lie. That's full elves, mate. Really? Just elf? Just elf. I'm not going to lie. That's full elves, mate. Really? Just elf? Just elf? I think we've established full elves. If you've got half elves, you've got full elves, Adam. Sorry.

Yeah, but like it's not. You've got halflings, you've got fulllings. So this pirate. Disappointed with you guys. I feel like I just want to go find a pirate elf and stab him, that's what I want to do you've got weird elf issues mate I do, I have anger issues

might be able to find a couple elves in the city primarily this is like a halfling city you see a lot of halflings around here there's a decent amount of humans and elves you spot a couple of dwarves As you're walking through

Is there any place in particular you're heading? Does anyone know? None of you know the city We've already established that So you guys are pretty lost Grayson doesn't seem to know the way I have local knowledge That might help you here No it doesn't

Damn But kind of start scoping out Maybe try and get some information, but sneakily about where Carter is. You and everyone else. Yeah, like the first person you ask. Oh, Wizard to the Pirate King? Yeah.

Yeah. He lives in the palace. He gestures. The city is set on a hill. He gestures up the hill to some of the higher buildings. The buildings at the highest point of this hill are the tallest. Cool. Thank you very much.

You'll know it when you see it. It's easily the biggest building. Okay, cool. I think we may die, guys. Alright. Yeah, because I was thinking about this on the way here, and I'm like, we don't have a plane. Do you ever? I'm saying even we don't have a plan. Do you ever? I'm saying, even if we kill this wizard and perhaps I'm going to go with

probably have to kill the Pirate King. There's a lot of pirates. Maybe we could kill them and become the new Wizard King and Pirate King. Well, hold on. Is that how it works? Let's not just leap blindly into it assuming that's the case

and then find out that, no, it's genetic, like his successor or something because then... It's genetic. No, pirates respond to dominance. So if we take out the pirate king, they're going to be like, oh, you're the next pirate king. You're predisposed. Genetically predisposed to being a pirate king.

We look at Grayson. Do you know anything about pirates? No. I'm not a pirate. No, I'm just like... I'm a privateer, he says. Now I'm a mercenary. Do you want to rule with us?

I'm not interested in being a pirate lord, no. I mean, I don't even know if I am. I know a little bit about the pirates, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. You guys do feel like you're jumping the gun. There are multiple pirate sort of kings, I think. Yeah? It's like a like a

um it's hard to explain, really. There's like different people who have a lot of power and sway, and then there's one guy who has the most power and sway, and he's the pirate king. Let's just try and find like an inn that power and sway and then there's one guy who has the most power and sway and he's the pirate king king so let's just try and find like an inn that we can kind of just make a make a base okay there are no nice inns here you can have a you can have a search if you want but just an inn

that gives us some privacy it is a dirt floor here in the top oh boy that's the type of establishment we're talking about. There's a fight going on in one of the corners. There's someone dealing cards in another one. There's one halfling in one of the corners as well. He's got a little crowd around him and he's talking to them.

You can vaguely hear him. You are 90% sure he is running a confidence scam. boy all right let's let's just book a room i just want to have a chat with everyone it's gonna get like get the little land and see what our plan of attack is okay so we do that okay the barkeep is a an elf one of the few ones that you'll see around here he looks you up and down when you come in oh when you approach him what'll it it be? Just a room. Just whatever.

Looks down, looks up, looks down, looks up. He's got a little book in front of him. Silver a knight. Is that for your best room? Each. Come on, mate. Are you talking to the bartender? Maybe.

Yes. Yes or no? Yes. That's for a room. We'll have one room, yeah. Two. No, no? Yes. Yes. That's for a room. Yeah, we'll have one room, yeah. Okay. Two. No, no, wait, mate. It's one bed.

Come on, mate. I can see the quality of this establishment. We're talking two copper a night. Come on. What's he doing? He's trying to fuck us over. Yeah. Tell you what, I'll give you a discount.

Nine copper. Is that the same as one silver? No, it's ten copper to a silver, ten silver to a gold. Very simple system. He's knocked a copper off for you. Yeah. Alright. Knock another copper off and you get a deal. Come on.

Come on. It's each. Eight copper each. Let's be honest, We need three rooms. And I wink at him. Well, if we're being honest here, there's one room with multiple beds in it. We'll take that room. You kind of have to. And we're going to be paying eight copper.

Seven copper. Sure. Seven copper. Yes. Each. No. Seven copper. One silver all up

I feel like we forgot how to bargain Like oh guys we're really good at endurance No bargaining Sorry Yeah no Two silver each You've now just completely How about just two silver and that's it

Call it quits. Okay. Good. Two silver. We chuff off the room. It says silver pieces but I thought it said copper pieces so actually like seven silver each is still a discount. Oh god. We're lucky we got away with it. It's two silver

for like the lowest quality but I guess this would be even less than that. Two silver for one room for all of us. Beds good. It's the only... I know! We fling the two silver at him and chuff to the room. Yes. It's just, like I said, one big common room. There's a shitload of beds. It's upstairs

above the tavern. Are we alone? What? Are we alone? No. There's a bunch of people here. Goddammit. Some sleeping, some awake. That's alright. Whatever. There's enough. There's one guy who's quite obviously crazy talking to himself. This is a piece of shit. It's got a wooden floor, but only because it kind of has to. Couldn't be done up here.

Okay, so plan of attack. Maybe we need to scout out this city, see if there's any political unrest, see if there's any sort of pirate king. Start a revolution is what you're saying? Pirate prince that wants the old one. They're pirates. Job opening for

pirate king? Yeah, basically I want to know if there's another faction that don't like the current king, so maybe we can ally with them take out the king and take out the wizard. I think that might be the best idea we've ever come up with, except for the one where I decided that I was going to bang Grayson. What if, instead of creating a revolution, what if

we just kill the wizard? Well, let's put that in a maybe pile. But to get to the wizard, we've got to go to the palace. Maybe we can find, like, you know, maybe the wizard's cheating the pirate king or something like that. If we could even, you know what, what if we make it look like the wizard is fucking cheating the pirate king? Pirate king does our work for us. But I really want to kill a wizard again. It was so interesting.

By indirect action, we would be killing a wizard. I want to be the one. That's not quite as good. If you want to start a revolution, I guess, okay. Have you ever killed a wizard, though? I've killed one wizard, yeah. How good does that feel? It's pretty good.

You get that wizard rush. I know, it's all right. You get that rush, you know. Look, I'm going to level with you here. Like, killing is just like a business for me. I don't enjoy it. We enjoy killing wizards, mate. And maybe gnolls and

goblins and shit and maybe sometimes bandits yeah oh wow um i'll let how about we do like let's play it cool yeah find out where the wizard lives first of all yeah let's have like maybe i'll go chat to the pirate king yeah let's have a bit of a scope out. Yeah, like a little bit of a, you know. Tomorrow, we call tomorrow a scope day? Yeah, scope day. You go. Scouching? Reconnaissance?

Scope day. You go chat to the people, see what the people have to say. Yeah. Me and Ainsley. I'll go play cards with the halfling down there. Yeah, what am I? Get in on it. Yeah.

Me and Ainsley, we'll chuff on down to the Pirate King. Just say hello. Let him know we're in town. Me and Ainsley, we'll chuff on down to the Pirate King. Just say hello. Let him know we're in town. Me and Ainsley. What did I say? No. Grayson says me and Ainsley. Oh, fuck yeah.

Ainsley and I. Yes. Okay, me and Criff will then just do the grunt work down there. I suppose. Have you ever met, like, a lord or royalty before? Well, she said she was Can I just say that I love the fact that Grayson's like Yeah, no, I'm going to take Ainsley with me It'll work out great

Yeah, that's going to be a lot better Bums will be pinched Have you ever met royalty or have any experience? Other than Ainsley, yes And they laughed me out of the court. Wait a minute. Did you tell him that you were a princess? Grayson?

Yeah. I can't remember. Did we? Did you tell him? You did. No. I mean, like, during the months of boning, would it have come up? Yeah, probably.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know. So I think the only two people here who have any experience talking with people of I don't want to say noble blood but people who at least believe themselves to be better than the common rabble Fair point

I accept I might go look for wizards You're a halfling, these are kind of your people, right? Not to sound overly racist I guess You talk to the halflings, I'll talk to the half-elves These motherf guess You talk to the halflings I'll talk to the half elves These motherfuckers talk to the nobles

Done There's got to be some other wizards around Yeah good Maybe the card as apprentice You might be pissed off you never know Whatever sure Maybe try and become card as apprentice And then you stab them in the back

We got this we do that We sleep on. And then you stab him in the back. All right, we got this. We do that. We sleep on it because we'll do it in the morning because calm down. Okay, we'll sleep on it. Sleeping on it never makes you guys reconsider. Okay, next one. Give it a red hot think and be like,

best idea we've ever had. And then we do that. I'm going to say considering your surroundings, you guys just like in not inherently what's the word i'm looking for um instinctively uh clutch your belongings deep near yourself and curl up in a ball we take it in shifts i think you're like a four hour sleep so yeah oh yeah true half outfit i'll keep an eye out fuck as you roll over looking forward to a sleepless night,

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