D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #18 Kill the King, Become the King?

Episode Date: November 8, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes prepare to take down the Pirate King... despite the fact that he isn't their intended target. We go clothes shopping, search the city for the infamous Pirate King and everyone gets captured by orcs. Krif chats up another wizard at a bar, Princess Ansley hopes Greyson carries the team and Leo accidentally points out his friends to the enemy. So set your sights on the wrong target and join our party as they summon bats out of their sleeves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sance Pants Radio, can I seduce a dragon? There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around a table rolling dice to kill imaginary dragons. But that is exactly what we are doing today. Welcome to episode 18 of D&D is for Nerds. As always, I'm Joel Zammett, playing Leo Shadow. And over to my right, we have Ali Kathleen. That's me! That sure is.

Playing the part of Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. And to her left, we have Jackson B. Bailey, playing the role of Criff Pompom Criff. Yeah. And right in front of me, the guy who tells us what to do, our DM, Adam Creampie. That's not... Shut up, Adam.

Previously on D&D is for Nerds. Jesus Christ, fourth month, you bang. Yes! Yes! Everyone's getting high fives the next morning. I know that. Does that mean a level up, Adam? Yes, it does.

Yeah! Oh, my God, giant Justice V. Try and work out this longboat and drift off onto the land. As soon as the longboat is in the water, Gigalob leaps off the ship and lands at the front on the opposite side from Chris. I take my shirt off and get some sun.

You took the halfling. I'll give a half elf. These motherfuckers took to the nobles. You have seduced this man. Tried to get him to fall in love with you. Falling in love with him back. Just for a discount. No, no him to fall in love with you. Fall in love with him back. Just for a discount. No, no, no.

I'm just saying. The next morning, as you're getting ready, Grayson sort of looks to you and says, do you have any, like, nice clothes? I had a nobleman's outfit. Yes, we did. These two have nobles' outfits. Surely it's silly.

I was about to say, can I borrow yours, but you're a halfling. Sorry? Can we get... Is there like a... A market? Yeah, we might want to get some... Well, I might, if you already have... Some fresh duds.

Yeah. I might want to get something, because he like, you know, he just gestures to his armor. It's like nice armor, but it's battle worn. Yeah. I'm still bare-chested. All right, little halfling buddy. Actually, Grayson probably especially didn't sleep in his armor. Yeah, I'm still bare-chested. All right, little halfling body. Actually, Grayson probably especially didn't sleep in his armor.

Yeah, that's true. He's also bare-chested. I slept in my rags. Did we have to see them bang during the night? No. We didn't bang. Grayson would not have banged here. Okay, good.

Well. No, it's like a public venue Let the dice decide Oh my god, no Alright Okay, you guys shift off to the market We'll start, you know, looking for some wizards And some halflings

Oh no, I'm wearing my fabulous clothes Yeah Quotation marks, fabulous clothes I was going to be like, Griff With those fabulous clothes, might make a good target Go back to your shred We kind of are in a town of nothing but thieves Yeah but I've got this on my pudgy white body

Pudgy white body Nicish clothes, probably tailor made Kind of looks like you might have money Also you're kind of fat So they might just stab you. All right, I'll exchange my nice clothes for rags. Not rags. How about we get a decent cloak?

I don't have cloaks. Let's go buy one. We'd like to go to the markets, please, buy a nice semi-noble dress. I'd like to buy also, yeah. Griff some nice clothes that don't make him look like a target for thieving. And I'd like to buy something that can blend into shadows and shit. We'll set you back 75 gold pieces.

Grayson doesn't actually have the money himself for that. Like each? Or all up? Yeah, each. Well, we have 181. Let's ration. So, me. Grayson is happy to just like

He can get like a set of An artisan's outfit So How much is that? That's a gold, he can pay for that himself Can I just get like whatever? Like I just need clothes I want like thieves clothes

Blending Yeah, what's a pirate costume? How much is that worth? Costume Like the one that they would take to a masquerade. Like a little kid's pirate costume. Yes. Maybe one silver piece for that.

All right. I'm going to dress up like a pirate. Yeah. Grayson kind of fought very nice, but he gets as nice as he can. That's cool. I'm going to spot him a bit. I'm going to spot him a bit with some of our gold, whatever we can kind of get.

You're a sweetheart. And then, yeah. Do you want him to get our gold? bit with some of our gold, whatever we can kind of get. Oh, you're a sweetheart. And then, yeah. Do you want him to get our gold? It's kind of our gold. She's just spotting like that. I know. I am banging a third of the gold. We'll be fine.

I'm assuming we've split up at the market and we just, I'm like, yeah, I'll buy some like, you know, pirate outfits. You're going to buy a robe. And she comes back with like bags of like, you know. I got shoes, guys. I got shoes. And like, you're going to buy a robe and she comes back with bags of I got shoes, guys. I got shoes. And designer hoodie. Enough that he gets from average clothes to nice clothes.

If you spot him about Do you want him to get the nobles clothes? We're going to have to go and talk to the pirate king. It's a pirate king. You spot him about 50 gold and he can put in the rest. Do it. That's fine.

Yeah, 50. And then can I spend maybe like 50 because that means less maths for me? Do you not already have noble? I thought they said you had a noble outfit. You have a noble outfit. Oh, yeah. Is it nice? Is it nice?

Yeah, it's a noble outfit. Some things, it's nice. I mean, I'll level with you. It's a noble outfit I think we've been wearing since the frozen waste. So maybe we should get like a... It's a bit careworn. Okay, all right. So let's just kind of maybe trade it in.

And then so like a car, you could get like maybe a 75 worth. The trader will knock five gold off the price for you, so it's 70 gold. It's used and... It's been in the frozen waste. This trader is not interested in buying more clothes. He is trying to sell clothes. All right, all right, all right.

Let's say 70. Can I buy a nice dress for 70? If you want to trade in the old one, he'll give you 70 gold. 70 gold, all right. He won't give you 70. He will take it. 70 gold. Fuck, whoops. How much? Stop doing that. Damn. Damn won't give you 70. He will take it. 70 gold. Fuck. Whoops.

How much? Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Good. I wasn't listening to what you two were saying at all. It's fine. You guys have some money. How much would you like to spend? I've spent a silver looking like a pirate. You spent one silver. I just get like a nice regular person clothes.

A silver. Oh, nice regular person clothes? No, just like whatever. Just like whatever. Straight clothes. A silver gives you like a shirt, pants and shoes. Done. For how much? A silver.

That's not nice, though. Me and Chris just spent two silver. What did you guys do? We spent 120 gold. That'd be another spell. That'd be another spell for me, 100 gold. Could have bought me a nice knife. Would you like a nice knife?

Well, I don't think we can afford it now, can we, Ainsley? Keep talking like that and you'll get several nice knives in your back. Wait, wait, hold on. Was that Grayson? Yeah. Fuck yes! I am making progress more than I thought. Oh, Grayson, buddy.

Relax, mate. And I will. I just put my hand on his forearm. Grayson's got like twice your height. I know, he's just got insanely protective of Aisley. Not insanely, well, actually. That's insanely protective. Yeah.

I'm just going to chuff off. I'm just going to chuff off as well. I just go with Kriff and be like oh my god can I just give you like 20 gold each and then you guys

just go to shop you might want some money for bribes yeah 20 gold each there you go so you guys write that down

20 gold each is what you guys have I like how you do know that Ainsley is the crazy one and she is managing the money we know can I just say we have never ever I like how you do know that Ainsley is the crazy one and she is managing the money.

We know. Can I just say, we have never, ever been stone broke. That's true. Under my treasury. I did a bad on your new pencil. Oh, man, the pencil's in this place. Yeah, we've never been stone cold broke. That's true.

We've always had at least like five gold. That's true. That's true. You both have 20 gold each. Go on a spending spree whether or not that's bribery or bells. We'll get back. That's a wrapped pencil. Yeah, me and Griff chuff off and I'm kind of

like grumbling under breath. Can you believe Grayson? Oh my god. He's just like about to stab me in the face. I know, it's hectic. Because he went and fucking wants to play nobleman with goddamn Ainsley. Yeah, I get it. I'm on your side. You're preaching to the bloody choir. All right.

Well, I'm going to go find some halflings to gamble and lay the land. I'm going to seek out half-elves and wizards. Or hizzards, if I can. Ah, yes yes did so well I'm saying preemptively so you guys your next three hours are going to be just like trying to make

contacts yeah Leo and Griff Ainsley you and Grayson are just like making your way to the top of this hill to get to the nicer sort of – are you okay there? To get to the nicer houses. It's very – like I said, the streets here are very tight and narrow. Think like, you know, those tight and narrow sort of streets you get in European cities.

Imagine just those. And they're pretty winding as well. Okay. All right. As you're walking up, Grayson turns to you and says, do you know exactly which one it is? I'm going to blink at him. I think he said we would know it when we saw it.

Okay. I'm going to blink at him again. saw it. Okay. I'm gonna blink at him again. Very quiet now, aren't you? I see what you did there. It was weird. Okay.

Who should I go with first? Yeah, you two. So, Kriff, you find a wizard in one of the taverns who's pretty drunk, and he is just going on about what a fucking shit Carter is. I sit down next to him and I'm like, hey, man, wizards, both of us. That Carter, I heard he was a cunt or something.

He's a right fucking cunt, he is. What? I've only had good things Tell me, convince me Steals, you know Steals research Steals information, steals anything he can get his hands on What a piece of shit

I'm broke I'm broke Would you like a cape? Yes I would love one Like a cape? Yes. I would love one. I'd tie the cape around his shoulders. I'm griff, pum, pum, pum, griff. He shakes your hand.

So few people ready to make someone feel like a king. Hey, that's what I'm about. Do you know where this wizard is? Does he just stay up in that ivory tower fucking palace of his? Oh, my God. The ivory tower palace. I know, right? Yeah. Yeah, but like, where is he most of the time?

Well, you know, up the arse of the fucking pirate king. Yeah. Yeah, uh-huh, yeah. Hey, it's not... I don't know, I'm from out of town. It's not like if you kill the Pirate King, you become the Pirate King. Just double checking with you.

As if, right? I'd kill Carter in a moment. Yeah. Wait, is he the Pirate King? No. Like, to have his... Oh, to be the wizard. Yeah.

No, hey, yeah. For sure. Fuck. Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah No, hey, yeah, for sure Fuck Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah Like in a moment Fuck Hey, like if I could direct you like to him Like

What? Like are you serious about this though? Oh, I don't What? You want me to fucking kill him? No, I'm not I'm not saying I'm just saying like

Some of the people in the tavern are looking at you now Hey, do you want to come with me for a walk, mate? Nah, mate I'm not saying. I'm just saying like... Some of the people in the tavern are looking at you now. Hey, do you want to come with me for a walk, mate? Nah, mate. I'm good here. Okay. Things have turned sour. So long. All right.

I'll see you around. He like tries to pat you on the shoulder, but misses. All right. I'm going to go look for more wizards. Okay. And. Leo. Leo the lion. Can I grab your character sheet? Why are you just writing aneurysm

all over me? So many aneurysms. You look around and you go tavern to tavern. You even try to talk to some people on the street, like maybe beggars or someone who you think might know stuff. You gain no information, though. No one seems to have anything that you want to know.

That's a shame. I'm going to be honest. I'm hoping that Grayson carries the team. And I just had a moment. Grayson, oh, I should let you know, Grayson does not talk about himself a lot. Like, he'll listen to you if you talk, but he does not talk.

Like, he tells you maybe a little bit about his job as a mercenary, but you do not know what he did. You don't know where he was born. You don't know where he grew up. You don't know about much other than like, he talks some stuff about being a mercenary. Super. I feel like he's going to betray us. How do you spell

Grayson? G-R-E-Y S-O-N. That is not how I pictured it in my head. He also, he would have mentioned though, at some point, you may be asked if that's his entire name. That is. That's his first name. He doesn't have a surname. No, I thought Grayson was like G-R-A-C-E-S-U-N.

What? Why? Like Grace, son? Hang on, wait. Or like Grace. Spell that again. Just, I don't know. Like Grace, G-R-A-C-E.

I thought it was G-R-A-C-E-N. It does make that sound. I-E-N. I-E-N. Grace, make that sound. I-E-N. I-E-N. Grace Sin. Grace. Or Grace Inn. Pretty much, yeah.

Grace Inn. Now I'm looking at it, it kind of looks a little bit like Glacier. Were you writing Grayson in Love Hearts? Is that why you needed to know? Mrs. Ainsley Grayson. Well, you know what? Nobody really cares about the Foggy Feather family anymore, do they? Is there a Foggyfeather family?

So, Leo. Leo, you look around. You can't find anything of interest. Drat. You can't find anyone who's able to give you any interesting information. Double drat. And while you're looking around, two half-orcs, big thuggish looking guys, sort of just, you know, you notice them in one of the taverns

and then in another tavern they're like a little bit closer and then maybe like over the course of your day, you notice that they're like trying to get closer and closer to you. Eventually, at one point, as you're leaving a tavern, one of them grabs you on the shoulder, spins you around, and in a very brutish voice, he says, you, ask about Pirate King. Why?

Uh, uh, uh, uh, I just, I just, I'm looking for, to do trade. Oh, Zamzam. They grab you by your armpits, hoist you into the air, and start marching you off. Samet's going to jail. Oh, there's no jail here. Samet's going to get tied underwater on a pier.

And... Saltie. Griff. I've just been searching for wizards and elves. Samet's going to get tied underwater on a pier. Salty. And Kriff. I've just been searching for wizards and elves. I've had that one drunk. You had that conversation with that wizard? When you walk out of the tavern, two orcs standing there. I think I have a single suspicion. Swarm of bats!

How do you just know? Wait, are they standing there menacingly or are they just playing a game of... They're standing right out. You nearly bump into them. One of them says, You. Ask about Carter. Why? Hey.

I'm just a curious little guy. They hoist you up by the pits of your arms and you are frog-marched away. Swarm of bats! Hang on, wait, you're being grappled. I was like, say you betray.

Yeah, you create a swarm of bats. Yes, I do. Anybody else imagining the bats coming out of my hand with a like... I imagine them coming out of your sleeve like you were a magician. So you're like, I have all these bats for this one purpose. But it's like they're coming out of my sleeve and spooking me and I'm like, ah, ah, ah!

That's not where I expected them to come from! Or are they coming out of your mouth? Like you open your mouth and... I want them to come out of my palm so that I can then put my palm on someone's mouth and be like, swarm of bats. Fill a guy up with bats. Okay. You create the swarm of bats and the two half-orcs are like,

and they let you go. I run. I run. Okay. Okay. So you fucking sprint off. Oh, man. I run. Okay. So you fucking sprint off. Oh, man. All right.

Yeah, you lose them very quickly, actually. They just can't. Yeah, they totally lose sight of you. Sick. Yeah, you totally lose them. Now I'm lost in a pirate city. You kind of know where you are. You know where you are in relation to...

From any part of the city, you can basically see the sea. You're okay to know where you are in relation to the water, but not much else. I'm going to try and find one of these two bugalugs. Holy shit, the whole mission's been compromised.

Everyone go to sea. Everyone go to sleep. Sea. Not much better. I'm going to jump over to Ainsley and Grayson just for a little while because it's going to take you a while to find anyone. What's that? Power couple?

Yeah. Oh, hey. Great. What's your name? Yeah. No, no, no. You know what? Rainsley.

No. Rainsley. Rainsley, yes. I want to leave that. No, no, no. You know what? Grainsley. No. Grainsley. Grainsley, yes. I want to leave that up to the fans, guys. I want to leave. Fans. Grainsley. The correct response is Grainsley.

So feel free to email us at sanspancheradio at gmail.com with Grainsley. No, I want to leave it up to the fans. I would love to hear what everyone else would think. Okay. No, I want to leave it up to the fans. I would love to hear what everyone else would think. Okay. So you walk in between two buildings and you come.

It's like the only square in this entire city that you have seen. There's like no buildings here of any height. It's like a park almost. And the park does not contain pine trees, but more like exotic looking trees. You're not sure. Like a lot of them you can't place. Some of them you might know and they look like very expensive and very like rare. Hey, Grayson, I think we might have found the place. In the middle of it all is like a, it's a building that looks

very similar to like a White House style thing. Like, you know, you've got those columns out the front. Actually, not so sure. Now I doubt myself. And it's got like that semi-circle like front part sort of thing. Do you know what I mean? Nah, I'm reassured. Yep.

Yeah. Grayson, 90% sure. It looks like it could be it. Yep. Yep. Grayson says almost sarcastically. Yep. I feel like we're finding our feet on our, like, couples, you know.

Couple retreat? Couple. Dynamic? Yes, thank you. That was the word. I can't even get single dynamic. Like couple dynamic. There's a fence running around this entire place

and you see one entrance and that entrance has guards at it. Does it have guard dogs? The guards are halflings wearing full plate armor. It's the most bizarre thing you have ever seen. All right. Not poodles. No poodles. All right, Grayson, we need to readdress our plan.

I thought the guards would be poodles. Grayson's just like scratching his chin and he says, they cannot move very fast. Poodles? No, you're right. Like halflings are not fast at the best of times. In full plate armor. Grayson, here's the deal.

We look pretty damn fine in our outfits and whatnot. We did spend a majority of our money when our friends only spent one silver piece. You did. I say to no one in particular, maybe the half horse. He's just like being frogmarched by the half horse. I just know. He lost a lot of money. I gave him 20 gold.

He lost five. I look at my gold partner. Okay. How do you want to play this? Do you just want to like bluff your way in? Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that we have some five points. I look at my goal partner. Oh, okay. How do you want to play this? Do you just want to like bluff your way in? Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that we have some bluff points. I don't think I do.

I'm hoping Grayson has all the bluff points. I don't actually know. And... Oh, dear. Right. Oh, no. It's the count. That's a laugh of yes.

We're going to claim that we are, well, obviously, nobles. And we're here to talk. You don't have to lie. It's true. You are a noble. I am. I think. But I don't know if that.

By the time they talk to my parents back home, we'll already be out of there. So, yeah, no, I'm pulling the foggy feather card. All right. We're going to talk about trade barriers. No, that's not. Pirates don't really trade much. Okay.

We're going to talk about. They trade steel for, you know, other people's shit, I guess. God. Trade barriers. No, that's not. Pirates don't really trade much. Okay, we're going to talk about. They trade steel for, you know, other people's shit, I guess. God, this is hard. Well, I'm struggling, guys. Well, Grayson. No, hold on. Grayson's just enjoying watching the slow breakdown.

This is what he gets out of the relationship. Damn, we're going to make amazing lives together. He enjoys a hot mess. Yes, well, there we go. Yes, we're going to go forward and be like. I've got like 180 with this thing. Oh, the dice are in my favor. They were. Okay, so my plan is bluff my way in.

Okay. You approach the guards. Are you going to talk or is Grayson? I think Grayson needs to hear it. Grayson, like, approaches them and he says it exactly how I am going to say it. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. We are dignitaries from a foreign land.

Can we speak with the Pirate King? Exactly. That is 100% and exactly how- Lovely cadence and all beautiful. Yeah, cadence is- That's exactly how he says it. And 100% verifiable. The two halfling guards don't react.

So we just walk past? No, the gate is closed. Oh. Can you please open the gate? Also you now spot like a fucking peacock strutting around on the property. Pirate King is so pimp. I love this guy. Just in the distance you hear a

woo! Super. Can you please let us through? We would like to speak with the Pirate King about some steel trade in the kingdom of Foggyfeather, which is not what it's called. I forgot where I live. You live, you come from the Isle of Natura?

Yep, that one. Yeah. And that's also exactly how she says it. Like, do you mean the Isle of Natura? Yep, that's the one. Okay, that one. That is where I am from. You said a little better.

You say, some might say, in a numerical way, four points better than he does. Yes. They still don't react. Okay, all right. Wait, hold on. I couldn. Now I'm going to play. Wait. Hold on. Couldn't remember how much money I had. I am going to get five gold pieces out and then I'm going to.

Go on. Go on. Gold pieces. A week in and in. And then just. Yeah. Okay. Wait.

Yeah. Not five. And then I'm just going to. Frugal. Try to tuck it in a pocket. Frugal Ainsley is. The full plate does not have much room for pockets. No, just kind of like suddenly...

Shower it on them. Make it rain. With five. Clink, clink, clink. It's silver, so it's more of them. Yeah, maybe. Make it hail. Maybe.

Make it hail. Make it rain. That's it, guys. I'm going to hit him in the head with a bag of gold. That's it, guys. I'm going to hit him in the head with a bag of gold. No, no, no. Just kind of offer gold like subtly and be like, just like hold it out like, hey, something like this.

The dulse has been right. You can't see their faces because they're wearing helmets, but you just imagine that they're stone-facedly ignoring you. Gently push one. Just topples apart. Just suits the bar. What I'm going to do is I'm going to just put the little tiny bag of gold at their feet and be like, good day, sir, and then go to walk through. As soon as you do that, the two halberds that they are holding

cross over together, barring your path. And I'm going to just try and gently go, oh, I'll just duck over here and then try and... It seems like you put the halberds in my way. That's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. You know, it's very funny. Like in a movie, you see this sort of thing happen

and you never see the hero just like, oh, sorry, it's okay. I'll just get under there. You never see that in the movie, you see this sort of thing happen and you never see the hero just like, oh, sorry, it's okay, I'll just get under there. You never see that in the movie. Maybe I can open a whole new genre. That's the most natural response. I'm just going to try and get underneath. They lower the halberds further.

And there's halflings. That's a feat. That's impressive. Leap it, Leap it! Grayson just gently puts a hand on your shoulder. I don't think they're buying it. Let's not piss them off.

I got nothing. Let's just go back to the tavern, regroup with Leo and Griff and see if we can figure something else out. Right. Same plan. Maybe we get more gold to bribe them with.

He tries to say in an undertone, but it fails. But maybe, maybe, new plan, same plan, still go back, get Jiggle Lump, throw it. Throw Jiggle Lump at the halflings, run. No? Maybe we don't start a revolution. Maybe we don't attack the pirate king on his home ground. Maybe a lot of things. Yeah, no, that's a good plan.

Let's not do those things. All right, let's truffle them back. Grayson reconsiders his choice of lofts. No, he doesn't. I'm pretty sure if you checked what Grayson was thinking, he was thinking what a lovely choice he made. Nay, mate. Okay.

So as you guys are chuffing on back, you see Leo being frog-marched by the two half-orcs. I wave at you two. Like, hey! Don't wave, you dick! Grayson makes a very concerted effort to look like he doesn't know you. And fails. Like, nudge the half-orcs.

They're with me. Well, we could get in very quickly. You take, like, maybe five steps before just out of the crowd around here materialises just bands of half-orcs and halflings. All right. The Pirate King would like to have a word with you. Guys, I think we got through to him. I think we did.

Mission accomplished. Okay. Grayson, Ainsley, and Leo are being led into the mansion at about the same time Prith, you are in this crowd and you see them being led in swarm of bats that's a second level spell

I think I'm out no, you get one more, you get a bonus one summon my giant justice bee maybe save it, buddy maybe save it for when we really need it. How long does the bee last? Bees can't solve all your problems. They can solve some of them.

It lasts for three rounds. Oh, never mind. It's really more of a, and combat has already begun type of spell. More than a, let's initiate combat type of spell. Can I see here? In my mind, I just wanted an ally. If I do, I'm giving you a red hot wave.

Yeah, all three of you spot him. I wave at Griff as well. I immediately start kissing the nearest person. Hi or hello, Jackson? Hi. I mean, Griff. Your name is Griff. Hi. Hi. Yeah. It's a half walk. Your name is Criff. Hi.

Yeah. It's a half-walk. He grabs you in a bear hug. All right. And he hoists you over his shoulder. Oh, no. Whoopsie. Things may have gone awry.

Yeah. You're done goofed. You're trapped. They lead you all in. Fuck. Look. The rat. They lead you all in. Fuck. Look. The rat.

We got to where we wanted to go to, guys. Yes, we did. The wrong way, more or less, mostly less. You know what? Glass half full, Jackson. We wanted an audience with the Pirate King. We're going to get an audience with the Pirate King. Did we want an audience with the Pirate King?

Yes. Wait, did we? No, we want an audience at the Pirate King? Yes. Wait, did we? No, we did not. What was our mission again? You're trying to kill Carter, his head wizard. His only wizard, really. Thank you, Grayson. We've got to kill the wizard. We're trying to kill Carter, guys.

Come on. Fucking keeper. All right. We just tell the Pirate King Grayson's being a bitch. You're being led through this mansion right this it's like it's it's like the pirate king wants you to know he's rich it's not like de silva who is just flashy because he thought the flashier you were the better it is there is a lot of class to this place but after you're after you see like the fourth statue of the Pirate King himself,

you're like, okay, we get it. This guy is wealthy, and I kind of want to assume, all I can see is this orc's bum. It's sweaty. It's sweaty, but probably pretty soft. Griff, we just passed like the

fifth statue of the Pirate King. Each one is like, generally I think about ten years younger than what he is now. I just have this assumption. Look for weak spots in the statues. No, just like, does he have like a peg leg?

Can we take it? No, he does not have a peg leg. You don't actually know this is the Pirate King, but this guy is like, well, like I said, there's like four statues of the guy. I'm assuming it's the Pirate King or at least an ex-lover. Get all of them sculpted as being really fucking handsome. All right.

It's the Pirate King. Like literally and figuratively chiseled jaw. Yeah. There's a bunch of paintings as well. Some of them are also of the Pirate King, but you see other ones of like battles and shit like that. Will you escape? Will you die gruesomely?

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