D&D is For Nerds - Welcome to Ogg Nott #20 Health Potions Fix Everything

Episode Date: November 22, 2015

Welcome to Ogg Nott Season 1In which our heroes go head to head with the wizard Carter, for better or worse. We compare eye sizes, Greyson gets this throat torn out and it’s finally over. Krif names the Justice Bee, Princess Ansley doesn’t want to say certain curse words (yet still does!) and Leo pours a health potion down a neck hole. So remember to yank your hand away in time and join our party as they get a Crit Hap. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sanspence Radio, add a sprig of thyme to make the creation your own. There's nothing sadder than a group of adults sitting around the table crying because they rolled a natural one on a hide check, but that's exactly what we're going to be doing. Welcome to episode 20 of D&D is for Nerds. As always, we'll be joining the bespectacled Ali playing Princess Ainsley Foggyfeather. Is that a compliment? The recently bespectacled Jackson

playing Criff Pum Pumcriff. I've got hair in my mouth. I don't think that's part of the script. So you got something in your eye, didn't you? I had a yawn and I was like Oh my god Quash that Jackson I thought you were giving him a wink Alright

And the unspectacled jaw Playing Leo Shadow Is that a compliment? As always I'm Adam Cyclops Summers That's really not your name Mmm well It's what's written down

Previously On D&D is for Nerds Sitting on the throne Is what you can only assume To be the Pirate King. Big things through, Ainsley. Don't kiss and die, Ainsley. I don't know where they've been.

Convince him the other guy's back. I just have frustration, ladies and gentlemen. I'm at a level with you, Mr. Pirate King. I've started to realize over the last year that we do a lot of things without thinking them out. I think it's a real problem we have. Fight. What? What? What?

I can't remember how to fight. I'm too busy. I'll save you, Grayson. I've got you now. Snapping of flesh. Oh, Jesus. Oh, can I love someone with a peg leg? I don't know.

We got a guy with no leg. He stumbles, but does he die? No, no, he doesn't die. Carter is very, very alive. Chris. The bee is here. The bee appears. Yeah, yeah, the bee appears.

Sick. I forget laughing maniacally. Who do you want it to attack? Oh, yeah. Who do you want it to attack oh yeah who do you want it to attack the wizard he just like slowly hovers its way towards him

Carter's just like no because he'd be scared of a justice bee this bee is the size of a fucking dog I'd be scared of a justice bee and at the same time all powerful pirate king wizard on hand The spear's the size of a fucking dog. I'd be scared of a Justice Bee. And at the same time... All-powerful Pirate King wizard on hand. I would like to, because that's not my move, is it?

Yeah, no, you got your turn as well. Yeah, cool. Grease the floor. No, he's not moving. We are. The monster's moving. If you put your... you goot up the creature How does the creature attack?

If I goot up the creature, will the creature get injured, Adam? No, I think you have to goot up yourself And then touch the creature No, it only hurts Like something grappling What you use it on I'm just going to punch him I was thinking like baboo slime Grayson? what you use it on. I'm just going to punch him.

I was thinking like Babu Slime Grayson? Because he's getting like mauled by the dog. It's true. So we can like grease him out a little bit. Don't grease him. We're moving, Jack. I won't grease, but I'm not promising I'm not punching. Adam beefed up my punching.

I have to use it at some point. Just let, okay. Just running up to him and clocking him in the mouth. How good. Hey, you know in The Simpsons how Milhouse takes his glasses off and his eyes are really, really tiny? Yeah.

That's like Adam. Have you guys noticed? Put your glasses on and look at all of this. Look at that. Oh, look. Yeah. That's like Adam. Have you guys noticed? Put your glasses on and look at all of us. Look at that. Oh, look at that. Normal eyes, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Now take them off and look at us again.

See? It's just a glasses thing. Take a few of us. Yeah. You look like you have tiny eyes. No, I don't. No, I don't, guys. Okay. How would you know? Without your glasses, you can't...

Oh, no, I guess you took a photo of yourself. Yeah, that's true. There you go. Mystery solved. Adam, I'd like to run... I don't care that much. What's closer, the wizard or the monster? The monster, by far. If I ran up to the wizard, could I attack? No. Not this time. I'll run up to the monster and punch it in the mouth.

Yep. Problem solved. Cold clock it and punch it in the mouth. Yep. Problem solved. Cold cluck it. Cold poof right in its fucking jaw. You hit. Yeah! You fucking know I do. You like bop it on the chin.

It sounds so adorable. That's right. Do I jump over Gregson? You do a bit of the people's elbow. Carter is right now with the bee like, it's just like trying to push it off. I like that I don't know what the bee does. What's the bee doing?

It can attack, yeah. Is it attacking? Yeah, it is attacking him. Good. He's just like trying to fend it off right now. It's really distracting him. I should use my buzzing bee spell. What's that? That just makes an annoying sound.

Just in your ear and it makes it hard to concentrate on spells. He only thinks it's like the bees everywhere. The bees everywhere, Carter. Grayson swings at the creature again. He connects again. Yes. Guy's a boss. He cleaves off like a massive chunk of it

Oh yeah Yeah he gives it like a really close haircut If you know what I mean Does that mean cut off his head? What? Is that what it means? What? Close haircut?

Cut off his head? Getting hopeful? No no not that close No Hey Celestial Justice Bee Still giving us a hand I'm glad, but I'm just saying

it would be nice to just cut the creature's head off and then kind of be gang up on that wizard Oh no! I've become undone Carter's turn That's always so scary Just get distracted by the bee, mate

Oh, fuck. Yeah. I don't know who's rooting for it anymore. The creature like, oh, man. Hang on. Let me find out exactly what it does to Grayson. Oh, no. He picked up a critical sad card.

Crit sad. Crit sad. Also known as, I don't know what it's also known as. Critical fumble. Critical fumble. Oh, that's adorable. Am I what it's also known as. Critical fumble. Critical fumble. Oh, that's adorable. Am I right? Critical success and there's critical fumble.

Who got the crit success? The monster. It did. Oh, so we've got to. Who's it? The monster. The creature. Okay.

You don't know what it's called. Ah. Let's call it Fluffy. Okay. I'm going to write it down in the initiative order as Fluffy. We've got like his creature. We've got how Justice B. I'd say the B. There's the bee in Fluffy.

What do you want to call the bee? Justice Bee. Justice Bee, yeah, okay. It's not its actual name, but just if I'm referring to it, I'll call it Justice Bee. That's what I'll name it. To name it. I guess it doesn't really have a name.

When he names it later, when he summons it later, will it be the same bee? I think you can ask for the same creature. I will. I'll request the same bee. I'll be like, uh, griff, pom, pom, griff. Um, just wondering if I could get the same bee I had last time. Depends how well this bee does, let's be honest.

You, like, summon the creature and it's compelled to come and serve you. Oh, okay, yeah, cool. So maybe you could just summon it sometimes and get some flowers. There's a really funny level spell called Gate. Gate is the fucking best. With Gate, you call anything. But the rule is you literally can call anything.

If it's less powerful than you, it has to come. If it's more powerful than you, it can choose to come, and when it comes, it doesn't follow your orders. Oh, boy. That's scary. Yeah, it doesn't follow your orders. Oh, boy. That's scary? Yeah, it's funny, though. Anywho. So what's Fluffy doing?

It, uh, fuck. Jesus Christ. It leaps on top of Grayson and tears his throat out. Do you reckon El Potion will fix that? Grayson's just, like, making coughing, gurgling sounds, and he looks like he's either dead or dying. How many hit points is he on right now? Some people might say negative, like, seven.

Okay, I'm so full of rage now, guys. Oh, shit. Oh, no. So full of rage. I don't have, like, I've got a bit of faith in us but not that much uh oh now

Carter attacks your fucking bee no not as sad as Grayson but a bit sad there's like an explosion over where Carter is you were punching the fucking creature and so you didn't see it properly.

But your bee like just vanishes. Oh no. He's alright. Yeah, no, it doesn't die. He'll be back. The way it works is when you summon the creature, if it takes enough damage to die, instead it just teleports back to its home plane. Oh, that's not too bad. So it's gone. It's not dead. It's gone, but not

forgotten. It didn't do much, did it? Holy shit, I have a potion of mage armor. Oh, that's not too bad. So it's gone. It's not dead. It's gone, but not forgotten. It didn't do much, did it? Holy shit, I have a potion of mage armor. Downing that. And Leo. Just keep fighting this thing? Keep, like, flanking and stab that. You're still, like, flanking pretty easily with

Kriff. Yeah, flank the sick. You step over, but this time Fluffy is ready for it and just darts out of the way. It's very quickly and quite well working between you two, not letting one of you

get the upper hand. This thing looks smart. Whatever it is, it looks smart. You see intelligence in its eyes. Can I attack and then move? Or is that it? You can move now if you want. If you move away from it though, it'll get an attack of opportunity against you.

Because you're disengaging without properly finishing a fight. You can do it though. It might not kill you. I don't think it'll kill you in one go. But he's little. It could just be like ob, ob. Oh. You are not wrong.

I'll just stay. I kind of want to trip off onto that wizard. I feel him unattended is a bad idea. I am so full of rage. Before I was like, man, I'm pretty pissed off. And then I'm like full of rage. I'm like, no, I agree. I think I might shoot that bastard. I want to say cunt, but I'm not going to.

You just did. Yeah. We all heard it. Yeah. Okay. So your first arrow, like, strikes him in the thigh. I hope it strikes him in the fucking face. Like in the armory.

In the face. Bleeding damage, damn it. Do we need mage fire left? No, we do not. Nope. Guys, we have not much. We have... I got a disguise kit.

A one moose head. Piff the moose head. No, I'd have to wrest it from its headrest. I was like, can I chuck the moose head onto the monster? Your first arrow strikes him in the thigh and he doubles over. Your second arrow goes clean through his head.

Fuck yes! Fuck you, piece of shit wizard. I've never been so pumped about fucking D&D before. Carter slumps to the floor, very dead. Oh, yes! I didn't expect this. deep floor. Carter slumps to the floor very dead. Oh, yes. I didn't expect this. This is an unexpected win.

Wait, what? Are we creatures still around? I would say, well, actually, I'm not sure if this part ends when you die. Let's hope so. Hey, guys. Finally, all those things that I don't keep saying Like hey Ali You're the one

Who does like The most damage But you fuckers Are always in the way Because it's always like If you shoot You're probably gonna Shoot Jackson

In the back of the head And I'm like Oh I can't shoot him then Now Fucking Everyone fucks with Grayson You gotta crit good And like

A good time I'm gonna fuck people up Crit Crit hap And then like Power of love Is just powering you on I'm gonna say it disappears After that Good and like a good time. We're going to fuck people up. Crit hap. Got a crit hap. And we're like power of love is just powering you on. I'm going to say it disappears after that. Yes!

The fight is over. Yes! Let's run over to Grayson and just like fill him full of health potions. Like rub his tummy and just like glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Oh, you're going to be okay, Grayson. Just everything. Don't even worry, man. Come on.

It's like two. And then I'm going to yell out to the king. You would probably have to pour it down his throat. We'll do it. It's gory work. We will do it. And yelling out to the pirate king, bring us more health potions, we've defeated your wizard.

Man, I'm pumped. Grayson's neck remakes itself. And you hear some bones resetting. I pull the potion out just before it heals over it. That could have been messy. A lot of his wounds, like, fix themselves. He's not, like, he's still bleeding pretty heavily,

but he's stable now. I'm going to, like, put my hand over whatever open wound he's got. Sort of, like, rouses a little bit. He seems a little out of it. Like, he's delirious with pain, but he's conscious. It's over. Hold him. You just hear a very subtle...

We did it, guys. Turn around to the Pirate King, like wringing my hands. Like, did we... Are we good? Are we good? He seems very pleased with himself. Did we do good? Yes.

You can take the body if you want. We do. We'd love to. Love that. That'd be great. Hey, guys, we didn't destroy this one's head. Body's pretty heavy, though, and you kind of have to carry Grayson as well. Can I check the wizard?

Does he have any cool things on him? Not really, no. Can I check the wizard? Does he have any cool things on him? Not really, no. Hey, Ainsley, do you want to, with your sword, try and behead him? Because my dagger's not great, as we've all learned. Is it your dagger?

Beforehand, I'm like, hey, well, Pirate King, I just want to make sure this isn't out of order if we cut his head off here. Would you prefer we do it somewhere where we're not going to stain a fucking carpet? I have another appointment after you. Please. Yeah, all right. So either you want to or give me your sword and I'll do it. Which one do you want?

This is your kill. I'm pissed. You're right. You guys immediately noticed that there's another robed man standing next to the Pirate King who has a very pleased expression on his face. Look, see, I told you guys. When Wizard King dies, you know that would make us the Wizard King. Avery, just cut his head off. Just cut his head off.

Oh, my God. That's what I'm doing. I'm going to cut his head off. Fuck. One of the half-orcs approaches you with an axe to help you, and then the pirate king just, like, waves and says no. Oh, my God. You're the only one who would be good at this,

and you botch it as well. Damn it. Rats. You, like, yeah, you make a fucking mess of it. You get, like, a ragged a ragged upper jaw and above. Can we get the pirate king, mate, buddy, chum, old pal. Let's not take too many liberties. Can you just do us a quick fave?

Can you write us a letter to say these ragamuffins fucked him up and then we'll be out of your kingdom. You can go back to whatever pirate fund you guys have. Out of curiosity, if we gave the dead Carter a health potion, if we gave the dead Carter a health potion, would it fix his neck?

Health potions do not work after death. That'll give you a second go at beheading. Also, if we ever need anyone killed I just gotta just genuinely point to us I have an entire guild of assassins for that How does one join that guild?

Because I kind of like an assassin It'd be nice He leans over and just like He doesn't hand it to you because you guys are still on that fighting bit He hands it to like an aide And then the aide hands it to you. It's like a little business card and it's got a name on it. Yes. Thanking you, Mr. King of Pirates.

Put that in my back pocket. So I'm going to give you some advice that I don't usually give to people in your position. Oh, this is exciting. You amuse me. I'd leave while the getting's good. Good? Okay, nice. Grab the head by the hair and chill on out.

As you leave, you, like, pass some very scared-looking adventurers at Manacles. I want to give them a thumbs up while I'm helping Grayson out. I want to get the head and be like... grace it out. I want to get the head and be like... Can I just search the shackled adventurers, see what they've got? You slow down, one of the half-orcs bumps you in the back.

I just wanted to see if they had some health potions I could steal. Well, once you get past those adventurers, there's nothing much to steal unless you want to try taking a statue or a thing. I meant the adventurers. Like I said, if you slow down, one of the orcs bumps you in the back. Could I use that bump and bump into them and kind of use sleight of hand

and see if they've got anything cool? Sam, it's tough jeopardizing our escape. I don't want to fuck up those adventurers. Sam, it's still an escape. You botch it very epically. Hand down the front of the pants. It's like not subtle. It's like, you know how you'd see on a movie,

like a thief snatching an old lady's purse? Yeah. Like that, but imagine you don't get the purse. I like take a card and just do a trick and be like, ta-da, I just keep walking. Yeah, after that, there's no real opportunities to steal, especially without being noticed. You're like led out of the manor and they close the gate.

Let's get on a fucking boat. Let's go home, guys. Wait. Let's go to Goldcrest. Well, Carcery first because they thought they wanted this guy. And the bounty. I was getting the whole point, Leo. Or Goldcrust.

To Goldcrust. It is amusing that you have become the moral, the fucking smart one in the party. How did that happen? As the gates are closing, Jump, what's his fucking name? Jigg Lump. Jiggle Lump just like scooches his way quickly through the closing gate.

I don't even fucking make eye contact. Where were you during the fight? I had a bee, Jiggle Lump, and that helped. A magic bee. I don't know this piece of shit. With a little tear Jiggle just tucks into his backpack A little bee costume He was the bee the whole time Except not really

Would be funny though Alright Goldcrest Where's Goldcrest How do we get to Goldcrest We'll catch a boat Alright, Goldcrest Where's Goldcrest? How do we get to Goldcrest? How do we get there? Can I walk there? How do we get to Goldcrest?

We'll catch a boat That worked really well for us last time when we walked across ice We're at a pirate capital There'll be a boat Is it hot? Oh my god, it's hot Oh yeah, it is too

He's a fucking idiot Yeah, you guys are in a very You guys are in a very tropical setting So you could try chartering a ship from here But as you are in the pirate city It's gonna probably end up being a pretty serious hassle Because you're more likely than not to charter a pirate And a pirate, like, once you've given him the gold

He has very little incentive to keep you alive Oh my goodness How much gold did we get from the Pirate King? Any? Or did we only just escape with our lives? The Pirate King gave you your life. Yeah, rat. That's true.

And I guess Carter's body. Can we pickle that? What is pickling? You don't have that spell. I don't want to pickle a corpse, Adam. What is the best? You don't have that spell. I don't want to pickle a corpse. Adam. What is the best way to get off gold? Ainsley.

You somehow have some skill in this area. Oh, rad. Hang on. Is it cooking? No. I'm just saying. We have to present proof that we have killed this wizard.

Can we salt it, though? We have to go across our country to this place, and we're probably going to stop by another place before we go to that place. Adam, would a skull of the wizard suffice? What? The reasons I must have a skull are probably not. Because Zama wants to preserve the body so that we can have proof that we did it. You could preserve, like, the head.

Yeah, that's doable. The skill required is survival here. It sounds like a general... Oh, no, you've got decent survival. Oh, good. Oh, lucky. Yeah, you'd need the resources to do this. So you'd need, like, some sort of container.

Vinegar? Is vinegar used in pickling? I don't actually know. Yep, okay. Vinegar, and then Ainsley could conceivably do this. Let's just pickle the head, because then we can carry that. Do you have a blade?

Are you just taking the head? What blade do you have to separate head from body? We did that. Yeah, I think we separated the head from the body. Oh, that's right, you have already. I'm pretty sure you mangled it. I can't remember you ever doing it right. We did mangle it.

We mangled it well. So, regardless... You're getting a lot of odd stares as you walk around and your backpack drips blood. Oh, yeah. Is there, like, a store or a stall that might sell that kind of thing? You know what?

Actually, I don't even have to roll. No. You're in, like, the upper high-class district. There's no markets here. Are there stores? There's a mansion here. It's where the Pirate King lives. In like a...

How you would say? Relatively speaking, this is the nice part of the city. Pirate town. Yeah. All right. You could go... If you travel...

The closer you are to the docks The better it is Right now you're like At the top of the city Which is the furthest From the docks Let's walk down to the docks And on the way

We can pickle a head Hey who wants to carry Grayson Because he's like Really bad I will do it I'll do it Wait a minute How did you guys

He's still on negative Do we need to fix him I think I think you've stabilized him. I don't know if you healed him. No, we did not. All right, let's heal him up. Is there a temple or a cleric? It's a pirate capital, Sam.

Yes. Pirates might pray. Pirates certainly need to be healed somehow. There are equivalent- type temple services, but it'll cost you a lot. I'll pay him. Okay. Anything.

Do you not have any health potions? Does no one have a health potion? We use. Oh, we've got a couple. I think we've got one left. And he started to heal. Is he not healing more? No, I'm out of health potions, guys.

We've pulled one down. No, I have six. He's like open neck. Yes. It was very gruesome. Oh, that's right. I remember that. Yes.

He's unconscious still, though. He's unconscious, so he's still slumped in someone's arms. Okay, I'll just grab a fucking health potion and just shove it down his throat. I think he's okay. He's just unconscious. You don't need to shove it down his throat. You don't want to OD him on health potions. You can't do that.

Well, seeing that he's a weird place, it is possible to OD on health potions. That's awesome. Become too healthy If you reach double your hit points you explode Oh really? That's awesome You just explode straight up Alright, well let's head down to the docks

You can carry Grayson, or you can, I don't care Let's give him Hoth potion He's fine! No, but I don't want to carry him It's not going to wake him up You can try rousing him Oh, I have rouse as a him. It's not going to wake him up. Won't it wake him up? Will it wake him up? You can try rousing him. You don't have to do it. Oh, I have rouse as a cantrip.

It would work, yeah. You could just try to wake him up, though. Wait, no, I don't have rouse. That's my rouse. I thought I had rouse. Okay, does someone want to wake him up? I'll wake him up. I'll kiss.

It's such a bad rouse. Okay, Leo, you try first. I have the bow slime. Wake up. No. He's not responsive. Wake up. No. He's run responsive. You'd think it would be something that could just happen, but apparently not.

Ainsley? I will try. Yeah, you rouse him. Yes! I can rouse and arouse. What, what? I guess it's the power of love. Yeah.

It's the power of love. No, that's copyrighted. We can't do that. We're going to go to jail now. Well, it was okay. It was so unlike what it to go to jail now. Well, it was okay. It was so unlike what it was meant to sound like. I think it was fine. Ow.

Adam, you said nothing like Huey Lewis in the news. You have to accept that. Adam, I'd like to look around the docks for the most trustworthy looking ship. Okay, well, you're going to head all the way down to the docks? I suppose. Where else are we going to go? We've got to go to the pickle place. Alright, let's go to the pickle place

first. We'll go get a pickle ahead. Peter Pepper's Pickle Emporium. Can I get a highs or lows? Poor choice, Jackson. So, it takes you quite a while to find any place

such as that The sun's going down by the time you find it and they're just starting to close shop Oh hey hey hey, hi The owner of this It's kind of like a butcher's but you get the impression he sells a lot of different things

He's wearing an apron covered in muck Kind of like a butcher's, but it's like you get the impression he sells a lot of different things. He's wearing like an apron covered in muck and blood and shit. And he looks like he's had a long day. Hey, mate. You ever pickled a wizard? I don't know what to roll for that. We need some ingredients to pickle. We need a jar About as big enough to fit a head We need like a mason jar

And some pickling juices And spices What do you call that We have money He does the money gesture Dollar dollar bills yo gesture He starts gesturing with his hands And he's like counting off with his hands

You guys know how to count, right? Are you mute? He nods. Oh, sad. No tongue? He nods. Pirates. How much does he count off?

He counts off six, but you don't know if he means silver, gold, or copper. So here's what we'll do, right, guys? We'll start. Six copper? He shakes his head. Silver? Six silver? He nods. All right. Sure, done, done. we'll start six copper he shakes his head silver he nods alright

sure done it's good because we have six silver pieces left oh good no the copper was for the jacket I want to keep that the whole way through

and some gold like I'm kind of like trying to keep the jacket or the copper the copper oh wait we sold the jacket for the copper

keep up carnival I'll drop my pencil I'm sorry that thing that happened what episode one yes Iivore. I'll drop my pencil. I'm sorry. That thing that happened, what, episode one? Yes. We'll give him, I'll give him six silver pieces, whatever. Okay. Yep.

I'm flush with Fluff, yeah. He walks in, gestures for you to follow in. Okay, we'll follow him inside. He rummages around in some, like, back part, and while he's there, you guys basically have free reign to just look around the front part of the store, but everything's been packed away, so before you try to steal anything, unless you want

the ice that he puts the meat on. Maybe. There's a lot of ice. Aw, Grace might have a headache. Is it like a bag of ice? Fill your pockets with ice. Grace is like, every now and then, just lets out like a moan in pain. Fill your pockets with ice. See if he's like burning up. Yeah, I would like to do those things. Hens pain. Fill your pockets with ice, Ainsley.

See if he's like burning up. Yeah, I would like to do those things. Ainsley, fill your pocket with ice. He doesn't seem to have a fever. Okay, well, I would have like a little sack for money, wouldn't I? Yeah, I guess. You'd have a money path. Just deal ice.

Here's my money. Yeah, that's it. How much gold do you have, A path. Steal ice? It is my... Yeah. Are you going to... You could... How much gold do you have, Ainsley? I'm going to put my gold in my pocket. Are you going to have wet gold? That's even better. I'll have clean gold.

So before your ice theft can continue, the butcher or the cook or whatever you want to call him Comes back around And he's got a big jar Like a big mason jar type thing That looks like it could hold a human head Excellent He doesn't slam it, doesn't break it

He just puts it down on the counter And gestures for you To slip the head in? I take it out of my backpack He seems completely nonplussed at this. He doesn't seem to care. I drop it in. You just walk it in? Yeah.

Like a wet sort of... Is it full of pickling goo? No, it's not. But when you put it in, he starts filling it up from some... He pulls a container out of freaking nowhere, it looks like, and there's vinegar in that. Will it be good to... I ask him, will it be good to just keep, like,

and we can just take it away now? Does it need to sit for a bit? What's the go? He sort of shrugs. You don't know? Yeah, he sort of, like, yeah, he shrugs again. He doesn't seem sure. Like, he doesn't seem to, he doesn't seem 100% sure. He doesn't pickle heads every day.

He wasn't shocked by the head pickling, so I'm guessing he's done it before. Or he lives in a pirate city. Shut up, Adam. All right, well, I guess once the head's done, I'll put it... He seals it as well for you, actually. You're a champ, Mike. Yeah, he has a lid, he puts that on,

and then I think, from my experience, if you heat the jar, then it properly seals. He does that as well. From your head-pickling experience. He doesn't cook it for very long to seal it, though. You get the impression that he just wants to get out. Yeah. All right.

Good. And he gives it back to you. Let's chuck that in your backpack. Awesome. Let's just wrap that up quite nicely. Probably if you have a blanket or something like that, Chris. Do you have those wizard robes? I have a disguise kit.

Oh, yeah, we still have the wizard robe. Do we, though? Do we, though? We don't have that wizard robes? I have a disguise kit. Oh, yeah, we still have the wizard robe. Do we, though? Do we, though? We don't have that cape. You gave that to a drunk wizard. We have a single moose head. That's not going to help. I have mage armor.

No, that's a potion of. We'll have some old clothes that might be shredded. Yeah, you have, like, those shredded rags. Yeah. Just a lot of dice rolls. Oh, it's a worry you're all pretty concerned with the jar right

yeah good oh guys we got robbed you're in the store there's no one else in the store except the guy who's like he's across the counter maybe I'll take dignity I'll give you this much a robbery has taken place yeah

yeah alright look I'll take dignity. I don't know. I'll give you this much. A robbery has taken place. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Yeah, look, I'll wrap up the jar and something from my disguise kit, you know, whatever. Okay. And I'll put it in my backpack. Good. All right, thank you, shopkeep. You're not much obliged.

Bummer about the tongue. Wraps the table. What? Sorry? Bummer about the tongue. He gives you an odd look. Yeah, an odd look And gestures for you to leave Alright, we'll chuff outside You walk out and

Jiggle Lump is waiting for you outside With a fresh fish in its mouth Jiggle Lump, give it to me! While he's being aggressive I would like to kneel down real quietly And be like, hey, Jiggly, and see what happens. I want a penny. Jiggle Lump seems hesitant to approach you because Criff is also there.

Give me the fish, Jiggle Lump. I'm a hungry boy. I'm going to take a step away from Criff and just be like, Jiggly, Jiggly. Jiggle Lump puts you, Ainsley, between himself and Chris. And he approaches you. Jigglelump, you are the worst cat. And then does he give me the fish? No, he starts to eat it himself.

But he acts as if he expects you to pat his belly as well. I will do that. I hate this cat. I'm going to look around and see what's happening in the street. The sun is basically set so the vibrant nightlife of this city is starting to show its face. You hear

screaming in the distance. Somebody pick up Jigglem because I won't. I'll pick up Jigglem. How am I going to carry Jigglem and Grayson? Grayson at this point needs very minimal sort of like... I'll do it with my half-elf strength.

No, half-ling strength. Half-elves have strength. You have... I'll just hold his ankle. I'm helping, guys. Yeah! You like brace his ankle so that he doesn't fall. Yes.

It will not work. All right, well, I guess we head down to the docks then if that's close where else can we go? it's night time do we want to find lodging? you might be able to find a lost ship heading out or you guys don't know a lot about pirates maybe pirates like to launch at night

maybe you shouldn't pick a pirate ship to go on once again well that's what we're doing, Adam. It worked last time, Adam. Did it just? The silver was a delight. The silver was not a pirate. When did we get on a pirate ship?

I don't think we had a pirate ship. We've never gotten on a pirate ship, Adam. So we don't know if it's bad yet. We would like to go on a pirate ship, Adam. I put my hands on my hips and I kind of just like look around, whistle, and kind of looking like, hey, maybe I'd like to go on a pirate ship, Adam. I put my hands on my hips and I kind of just like look around, whistle and kind of looking like, hey, maybe I'd like to go on a pirate ship. And I would say, hey, man, you want to go on a pirate ship? Yeah. Are we acting something out right now?

You were meant to follow along. That's what my character's doing. Highs or lows? Highs. Highs. Highs. Highs. A man looms out of the darkness.

Want to see a dead body? Do I? Yes. No, no. He pulls a weapon? No, no. Oh, no. I regret that.

Guys, I kind of expected this. No. And now we jump to initiative. This is a little bit on you guys. I'm going to see a dead body. You will. It'll be his. That's what I was going to say.

You ruined it. That was going to be my one liner. I had a few seconds there to think of that. I was like, something's being handed to me on a silver platter. I know. It was just going to be like, was there a one liner to be had? Oh, my God, Griff. You're on one hit point.

Oh, my God, I am. Shit. Have we not healed? Nope. No, you haven't had a chance. I forgot to. Ainsley, you're not doing so well either. Oh no.

You're on like a hot 11, I think. What a mild. You're full hit points. Yes. My paper's 16. So when he said, you want to see their body and he drew his sword,

I want to say... He drew a dagger. So he drew a dagger. I want to say, okay, no wait. What do I want to say, guys? What's witty? Yes, yours.

Yes, yours. I draw my rapier. Rapier in hand, you prepare to face down your foes. Will you live? Will you die? We'll find out next time on D&D is for Nerds. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account?

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